RUSH – RANKED! All the albums in order, by LeBrain #2 of 2

Jonathan was so psyched for these lists that he wrote almost 8000 words. Me, I could barely get to 1500. For that I apologise. It has nothing to with the subject at hand, that being the ranking of all 20 Rush studio albums. It’s simply a matter of being burned out after 10 years of writing every single day. So here’s my list — not as comprehensive as Jonathan’s but hopefully enjoyable for you to compare and contrast.

My history with Rush goes back to 1994 and starting at the Record Store. I had been wanting to get into Rush since the 1990 release of the Chronicles compilation, but found the back catalogue intimidating. Finally I bought Counterparts, my first Rush and followed it with Chronicles, Signals, 2112 and Roll the Bones. I was off to the Rush Races. After some reflection, here’s how I feel about the Rush catalogue today. This list is very fluid and might be different by this time next year — but the bottom five are likely to remain there forever.

Let’s do this!

Jonathan’s list can be found by clicking here.


20. FEEDBACK (2004) This covers mini-album is one I never go back to. I remember being super psyched hearing “Summertime Blues” blasting from my car radio on a summer evening in 2004. After the initial blast subsided and I heard the EP, I was simply underwhelmed by Rush’s covers of classic rock influences. “Summertime Blues” is only the tune that I really liked. One interesting thing that I remember clearly: once we sold out of the initial shipment of Feedback EPs, it took weeks to get restocked by the distributor. This led us to wonder if the EP was a limited edition and was already sold out. Fortunately that was not the case, but clearly they didn’t print enough CDs to fill demand.

19. TEST FOR ECHO (1996) On the day of release in 1996, one of our customers purchased Test For Echo, hated it, and attempted to return it a few hours later. One problem: he had destroyed the disc in the meantime. Don’t ask me how. But that disc was hammered and he was furious we wouldn’t take it back after such abuse. He was a little wiener but despite his shitty demeanor, he didn’t get his money back. We offered him an exchange for another copy, but he hated the album so much, he declined and departed my store swearing never to shop there again. Good riddance, but I did have to agree with him that the album sucked. The only difference was, as an actual Rush fan, I kept my copy. Shite: “Dog Years”.

18. PRESTO (1989) This album was considered a bit of a return to form after so much synth on Signals through to Hold Your Fire, a span of four albums (not counting the unassailable Moving Pictures). Sure sure, I get why fans were happy to hear the jazzy-rock of “Show Don’t Tell” without a lot of keyboards clogging up the works. I find Presto to be a collection of mostly unmemorable material. “The Pass” is a total keeper, but I don’t need the rest.

17. CARESS OF STEEL (1975) Apologies all around. It’s impossible to rank Rush album without ruffling a few feathers. Something has to go at 17. Caress is a heavily harsh listen; fight me. It’s simply a matter of taste. You either love this complex brutality, or you prefer something else. No big deal. I find Geddy’s vocals to be a bit too far on the harsh side here, and the music is pretty impenetrable without putting in the work.

16. POWER WINDOWS (1985) An album that just never grabbed me. Loved “Marathon”, disliked “Big Money”. Found it a little herky-jerky, though the music video was undeniably cool. “Manhattan Project” is majestic and “Mystic Rhythms” is classic but I never come back craving the rest. With most of these songs present on various Rush compilations, Power Windows tends to gather dust.

15. HEMISPEHERES (1978) “Rush have songs about trees talking to each other, how different parts of the brain works and outer space bullshit,” said Ricky from the Trailer Park Boys. That could be a Rolling Stone magazine review as well. It’s not bad but it certainly is difficult to penetrate. This is probably Rush at their most progressive though mileage will vary.

14. RUSH (1974) John Rutsey, doomed to underappreciation under the shadow of Neil Peart, but special in his own way. The original Rush was less progressive and more jammy, to the delight of all who own their debut album Rush. “What You’re Doing” was a pissed off middle finger made even more so by Skid Row’s cover in the 1990s. Of course it also contains the monolithic “Working Man”, one of the most massive pieces of granite that Rush ever chiseled out of the Canadian shield. A monster!

13. SNAKES & ARROWS (2007) Though a fine late period Rush album with beautiful acoustic passages, Snakes & Arrows has a lot to compete with. It ranks lower than those other albums due to its length. Rush went in without limitations, utilized three instrumentals, and ended with an album that might have been able to lose a couple songs. “Armor and Sword” is a clear highlight, as is closer dynamo “We Hold On”. Rush have some of the best closing songs!

12. HOLD YOUR FIRE (1987) I love most of Hold Your Fire, but man this album just overstays its welcome. It’s not the keyboards, it’s the last couple songs. “Tai Shan”, “High Water”, no perhaps those could have been left for B-sides. “Mission” is amazing, “Time Stand Still” is a delight (as is Aimee Mann) and “Prime Mover” kicks. The synths are at their peak here, but that’s not an intrinsically bad thing. Alex got to come back into focus on the later albums with some incredible guitar work. Ultimately this was as far as Rush could go in that direction before experimenting once again.

11. VAPOR TRAILS (2002) Another album that a few disgruntled customers returned, but not due to the quality of the music. This time it was the production they hated; the brickwalled mix. This album is overblown to the point of near-distortion, and so was actually remixed a few years later in an alternate version. That version is probably your preferred listen, but there is something to be said about the sheer brutality of Vapor Trails. Rush’s heaviest album, overall? Peart’s triumph, after suffering so much loss in his life, that much is certain. A long album again, but there is a lot to love here including “Ghost Rider”, “Vapor Trail”, “Secret Touch” and closer “Out of the Cradle”. A very important album for if Rush weren’t feeling it anymore, that would have been the end.

10. FLY BY NIGHT (1975) I’m a sucker for “Rivendell”. Geeky goodness all around. It feels young, naive and innocent and that only lasts a moment in a lifetime. “Bytor” is a wicked ride through the arctic frost. “Anthem” needs no introduction or explanation. While not flawless there is so much to love on Fly By Night. There’s even a 5.1 mix to check out, one of several Rush albums released in surround sound.

9. CLOCKWORK ANGELS (2012) What a final album by a band; any band for that matter. Rush’s first true concept album from start to finish, with an accompanying novel? Why hadn’t somebody thought of this before! “The Wreckers” and “Headlong Flight” are absolute masterpieces, with the latter recalling early Rush circa “By-tor”. Many people point to album closer “The Garden”, with full orchestra, to be one of the band’s all time unsung best moments. It is quite a shame that it had to be the final Rush album ever, but so few bands go out on highs like this.

8. ROLL THE BONES (1991) Simply terrific album that succeeded where Presto failed: delivering great, memorable Rush songs. The playing was still dexterous complexity to the power of three, but the songs were better honed. Highlights included “Dreamline”, “Bravado”, “Ghost of a Chance” and the title track. Regardless of the rapping. Did you know they considered getting John Clease to do that “Jack, relax, get busy with the facts” rap? I might have liked that.

7. GRACE UNDER PRESSURE (1984) A natural evolution from Signals (1982), this followup had a chillier ambience but plenty more great synth-tinged rock. Upon first hearing it, I was obsessed with the cybernetic “Red Sector A”. I still am. There is much to love on this 80s afterimage. A looming iceberg of 80s progressive rock, Grace Under Pressure is essential to my collection.

6. PERMANENT WAVES (1980) With hindsight, sort of a transitional album. The last of the long epic songs, for a long time. Four stone cold classics: “The Spirit of Radio”, “Freewill”, “Jacob’s Ladder” and “Natural Science”. “The Spirit of Radio” really foreshadows the direction Rush would go in the near future. A fantastic album, and easy to fall for quickly.

5. A FAREWELL TO KINGS (1977) Two words monumental and majestic. Those words come up a lot, but look! “Closer to the Heart”! “Xanadu”! “A Farewell to Kings”! “Cygnus X-1”! Rush were challenging themselves and the listener. A Farewell to Kings must rank in the Rush top five for the sheer magnitude of its song for song firepower.

4. COUNTERPARTS (1993) Huge feels for this early 90s triumph. Rush seemed to be honing in on a sound, starting with Presto. Roll the Bones got them closer to the mark. Counterparts was it, the target. Bullseye. “Animate” is a top tier Rush track, as is “Nobody’s Hero” based on a number of true stories. “Double Agent” is different and grooving, and “Everyday Glory is another magnificent Rush album closer. Nothing bad can be said about Counterparts except that it was a difficult album to top, as Test For Echo proved.

3. 2112 (1976) Sci-fi metal? Don’t mind if I do! 2112 is Rush’s most coherent concept, though only half an album’s worth. The story is well executed and nearly all highlight. The rest of the album ain’t bad either with “A Passage to Bankok” being a masterful example. A Rush album that should find a home in every household with taste. I received this as a gift for my 23rd birthday.

2. MOVING PICTURES (1981) If you were going to point to one album as “the” Rush album, it would have to be Moving Pictures. “Tom Sawyer” is “the” Rush song, and one cannot live to the fullest without “Vital Signs” and “Limelight”. If that wasn’t enough, get some “Red Barchetta”, “Witch Hunt”, “The Camera Eye” and immortal instrumental “YYZ”. Just a magnificent

1. SIGNALS (1982) With “Subdivisions” as my gateway to the holy trinity, this #1 pick should come as no surprise. Signals was an early Rush purchase of mine, after Counterparts, 2112, and Roll the Bones. This album has some serious rich synth songs such as “Countdown” and “Losing It” with some good old fashioned Rush gallop on “The Analog Kid”. Not to be underestimated is “The Weapon”, with synth ticking like clockwork. Everything on this album rules, no filler, and if you don’t like synth then just stop buying Rush after, like 1979. The end.

RUSH – RANKED! All the albums in order, by Jonathan Lee #1 of 2

Rest in peace Jason aka “Jonathan Lee”.

Ladies and Gents I present to you RUSH!

So this one was a bit tougher than our KISS ranking/review. Mainly because I had to go back and listen to a good bit of the catalogue. I haven’t listened to some of this damn stuff in years. But I must say it was nice to go back and revisit some of this stuff. Some, not so nice. I have changed my thinking on quite a few albums in 2022. Some for the better, some dropped down. And of course some will stay the same as they always were. But enough of the introduction. Let’s get on with the show!

Jonathan Lee


20. FEEDBACK (2004)

Well, I’m not spending much time on this one. It is dead last for a reason. For one I don’t like these songs to begin with so I damn sure didn’t neeed Rush to remind me of this. Now in their defense they have surely earned the right to do as they want and I’m sure they had fun. Too bad I didn’t have fun listening to this fucking mess. But I guess if I had to pick a song off of this disaster…I will go with the cover of the Yardbirds’ “Heart Full of Soul” but it’s nothing great by no means. Alright enough time on this. I don’t see playing this album/EP ever again. 2/10

19. VAPOR TRAILS (2002)

I’m not going to spend a lot of time on this one either because it just never clicked well with me. I will say get the remixed version if you have the original, because it sounds much better. Okay, the lead off track “One Little Victory” is a total kickass rocker and I like it but I don’t go back to it much, just like I don’t this album. The next track “Ceiling Unlimited” I never play. It’s just there. Next. “Ghost Rider” is pretty damn cool. One of the better ones on this for sure. It almost has that “Ghost of a Chance” feel to it but not as good. Next is “Peaceable Kingdom” and this one is a nice heavy one with some killer groove going on. One of my favs from this album. Wish they did more like this one. “The Stars Look Down” is a good one and I like how it flows. A solid track for sure. Love the mystical feel of it. Next we have “How It Is” and I find this one to be one I just skip. The slow part is nice but the other parts just don’t fit at all. Next we have the title track which I like pretty much. It has some damn good bass from Mr Lee. “Secret Touch” is one I skip sometimes. They do that funky stuff again and as always the parts where they don’t do that are great but I just can’t ignore parts of the song now can I? Now when they keep that bass and drum and guitar all in one steady funk groove I can deal with, but it’s when they stop and do different things and only one part stays funky. I don’t know. Hard to explain. It’s like a bass solo in the song that doesn’t need to be there. Okay, now you get “Earthshine” which I think was supposed to be the single, but don’t quote me on that. Either way I do like this one lots! Everything gels quite nicely. Winner. “Sweet Miracle” is just kind of there. Nice vocals by Geddy though. I don’t mind this song at all. It probably should have been the one they sent to radio. Okay next is “Nocturne” which I do not like at all. It’s a mess. Next. “Freeze” is another mess. Next. They close with “Out of the Cradle” and this isn’t nothing to write home about either. Just thrown together and lifeless. So I score this album pretty low at a 3.5/10 and Presto beats it by a hair because of the awesome album cover. LOL!

18. PRESTO (1989)

Oh, boy… This album just sounds like it is trying to hard to be something it isn’t. Nothing feels right about it. I suppose I like “The Pass” alright. The title track is decent. I probably like “Red Tide” and “Hand Over Fist” the best off of this album. But that’s about all I can do with this. I actually expected to go a lot tougher on this album because I may like it a tad more than I used to. But it is ranked right where it belongs. I can’t see playing this again no time soon. 3.5/10

17. FLY BY NIGHT (1975)

Yeah, I know. I’ll catch heat for this one but I just never got into this album. The only really great song on it is “By-Tor and the Snow Dog” and oh I LOVE that song. I also like “Rivendell” quite a lot and “In The End” is decent, but the rest, it just bores me. I never have liked the title track. Sorry, not sorry.  I will say that is one beautiful album cover though. But sadly this is where the blue owl lands in the ranking for me. 4/10

16. SIGNALS (1982)

This album isn’t one of my faves by any means and I’ll cut this one short because this is one I accidentally left out of the review/ranking and I want to get this done. We open with “Subdivisions” and a classic and my favorite song on the album. This sounds like it could have perfectly fit on Moving Pictures.
A timeless song we have right here. Next up we move to “The Analog Kid” and this song just sounds rushed and I just never cared for ir much. Next up is “Chemistry” which is much better. This one is nicely put together. The music has a nice groove to it and everything just works. A very well done track. Now we come up to “Digital Man” and this one is alright. I don’t really listen to this track. It’s just alright. Now flip things over to side two and continue with “The Weapon” and yeah, this song doesn’t do much for me. I don’t dislike it but nothing I go to. The song that was sent to radio and I don’t think it did well even there. I can see why. It just isn’t a very good song. Sounds sleepy except when it kicks in, and that doesn’t save it either. I like it alright so let’s just leave it at that. We now move to “Losing It” and I like the spaced out sounding intro and this is a nice relaxing song and my second favorite off the album. I dig it. Now we come to the closing track “Countdown” and it would be my third favorie. It has a “Subdivisions” feel to it but without the groove. These last 2 songs saved me from ranking this album super low but it’s still gonna be pretty low. I’ll give this one a score of 4.5/10

15. POWER WINDOWS (1985)

And this could be higher if it wasn’t for “The Big Money” which is in my top five of worst Rush songs ever. That song is one reason this is so low. But I also don’t like much of this album at all. “Grand Designs” is just fucking awful. I’m not even wasting time on it. “Manhattan Project” is really nice though. I’ve always loved this song. So relaxing and mystical. Sad it had to end up on this album. It is just too good to be surrounded by all this crap. “Marathon” is pretty cool though. Seems like the songs that start with the letter “M” saved this album. Because now you move on to “Territories” and it isn’t awful by no means but seems thrown together. I don’t like the drum sound on this either. Well the letter “M” saves the day again because though not great, “Middletown Dreams” is pretty damn cool. I like how it is all put together in structure. Next up is “Emotion Detector”.  It’s alright once it kicks in and gets going but the intro is awful. But it does get going thankfully. And to close the album you get what, ahhhh another great “M” song again to save the day AKA “Mystic Rnythms”, which I find very nice and a good closer. So I guess this album isn’t as bad as I remember it. I would give it a 5/10. Seems a accurate score since I like half of it.

14. CARESS OF STEEL (1975)

Okay… I’m not gonna go easy on these first few songs so if you love this and get offended easily you will want to roll by this one. I do not like “Bastille Day” and “I think I’m Going Bald” is just absolutely fucking terrible. “Lakeside Park” sounds like some bad southern honky tonk session. I do not like this stuff. This RUSH album is the only one I know of that has so many bad songs in a row. Okay finally one I do like AKA “The Necromancer” which is mysterious and creepy. I love what Alex does on guitar with this one. I always play this one all the way through, all 3 parts of it. I was so happy to hear this after that terrible start to this album. It’s like it took them a bit to get going and quit messing around. “The Fountain of Lamneth” is next and this one is even more epic with it consisting of six parts. I enjoy this one quite a lot as well. Not as much as “The Necomancer” but pretty damn close. I will say thank goodness for these two epic pieces or this would be ranked almost dead last if not last. I’ll give this one a 5.75/10. I actually almost put it a tie with Power Windows but no way can I do that with the two epic pieces on here. Which if you think about it I actually rank this album quite high considering it was a 0/10 until “The Necromancer” came on.

13. A FAREWELL TO KINGS (1977)

This one I had to go back to, believe it or not, just for the few tracks I haven’t played in awhile like the opener. Then I played it and I was like, oh yeah, I know this song like the back of my hand. And let’s just call this what it is, a great fucking opener. It is what you want in a opening track. I’m not a big fan of the jumping jack-like part that Geddy sings. Like the up and down chant thing. But other than that small gripe, great song. Now we move on to the masterpiece aka “Xanadu” which I prefer live off of Exit, but without this I don’t get that, so no way can I overlook the studio version because it is great as well. Another Rush song that is in my top four of all time (Exit version) and that will never change. It is the first song I ever took LSD to and it was one of the greatest experiences in my life. I wouldn’t do it again but it was everything and then some at 18. Oh the things I seen that night under the stars! I’ll never be the same and I’m glad of it. Next! Okay the short but sweet “Closer To The Heart” which I don’t play much. Meaning I don’t go to it. But if it comes on I’m not changing it either. I like it just fine. Now this next song I had to refresh my memory with “Cinderella Man” because it’s been a couple years since I heard this and I must say I kind of get why. I’m not a big fan of this song. It has that jumping jack thing going on again. I do love it when it is slowed down though. Wish they would have done it all that way. Next is “Madrigal” another one I had to listen to because I just couldn’t remember it. And it’s a nice slow one. It’s no “Tears” but it’s decent. And then they close it out with “Cygnus X-1 Book I: The Voyage” which has always been a bit of a iffy song to me. The intro is a bit silly. And to be split into three parts I find it should have been longer than just a little over ten minutes. It also takes a bit to get going. So I really see it as a eight minute song and that just didn’t need three parts. This easily could have just been one song. “Xanadu” is longer as a single song off this album. Plus to be honest I don’t find this song that great until like 3:30 point and on. So yes, in that sense it is a great 7 1/2 minute song which should have been longer because once it gets going t kicks total ass but it ends too soon. I mean I like it, please don’t confuse this as me slandering it I just feel they could have done more with this song. So where to I score this album? I’ll give it a 7.5/10 but without “Xanadu” and we at a 6/10.

12. TEST FOR ECHO (1996)

And here comes your surprise pick! I love this album! The lead off title track I find to be very well done. Nice and myseterious with a steady groove and some hard hitting parts. Nothing I dislike about this song. So let’s move to “driven” which is one of my favorite Rush songs ever. I love every damn thing about it and still a song they played at almost every tour after. And I can see why. It has a good live feel to it. So we doing great so far. Two for two! Can it keep up? “Half the World” is a nice laid back slow rocking tune. I dig it. I’m starting to wonder why I beat up on this album before. I don’t feel this bad about it. But of course I’m only three songs in so let’s see if that stands. Okay now this song “The Colour of Right” and this is some damn nice drum work by Mr. Peart. Again, I’m beginning to question what I didn’t like about this album because so far I like all four songs. Can it go five in a row? Yes it can because I really like “Time and Motion” and let’s go ahead and knock out then next one as well since I like it just fine.  “Totem” is the total happy Rush song. Damn. That is six in a row. I know I’m mad contrarian for this so far but that would be me hey?! I think I made this abundantly clear with my love for Hot in the Shade and Crazy Nights by KISS.  Anyway, forwards we go! “Dog Years” is a cool jamming song. Strange lyrics and for sure not some of the best. But I like the jam in this. They sound ready to go! Okay, so we come to “Virtuality” which I find to be a good heavy rocker but they doing that funky thing I don’t like! But still a killer song of you ignore that! Geddy is singing this perfectly! Let’s keep going! “Resist” is a total classic. Another one they played live a lot. And like “Driven” I can see why. It has that play me fucking live feel to it. And it works live and it works damn well here as well. You turn the lights down and get in the zone. Okay as we’re coming close to a end, I know some of you are like “Thank God”. LOL. But hey, you still reading! Okay now we get “Limbo” and this one is on that magical ride that they love to do! And I love when they do it! This song is a beautiful fucked up journey. One that I will take with them at any time. So the end is here with “Carve Away The Stone” and it is one I find that I skip. I don’t hate it I’m just not moved by it much. The riffs and solo are killer though and it’s alright. So now where do I score this one? Well with all that praise you would assume sky high but see I’m not going to do that because the songs I like a lot but do I love a lot of them? Perhaps not. So I will give this one a 7.5/10 which is still high!

11. GRACE UNDER PRESSURE (1984)

Now this is one album I like a lot. How I rank it will be challenging because this is the Rush album where it has some of my favorite Rush songs ever, and some not so great. This will make it tricky to put in the rankings. I will feel bad that I can’t move it higher,because a few songs hold it down from that. But I’ll do my best! So it opens with “Distant Early Warning” which is one of my favorite Rush songs of all time. I love the lyrics and the meaning behind it. The song structure is one of perfection just like the next song “Afterimage” which continues in fine form. The lyrics on this album are some of the best. It is one of the darker albums by Rush but I tend to enjoy those a lot. This one is no exception. Up next is my favorite song off the album aka “Red Sector A” which not only covers some really deep subject matter the fucking music is just spot on. This album came out so strong with  three of my faves in a row. I will always go back to this album for these three songs alone but there is much more to unwrap here so we’ll move on to “The Enemy Within” which closes out side one. And what a way to end a perfect side! While not as strong as the previous three tracks it’s still a pretty damn nice song. I like how it slows down and then picks back up. A solid track. Now let’s flip it over to side two and see what awaits. No way could it top side one right? Yes, that would be right. It doesn’t. “The Body Electric” is a song I do not care for. It just has a bad intro. It does have its moments once that terrible intro is done and Geddy starts singing, but it still lacks. The chorus is nice with 1-0-0-1-0-0-1 but it doesn’t stay together. It moves around too much. Not in a good progressive way, more in a mess way. So let’s move to “Kid Gloves” which isn’t doing much for me. It’s just there. I think this one is the worst on the album. Next. “Red Lenses” is as bad as the previous track. This album makes no sense to me in the regard of how strong it starts and then just falls asleep on side two. Thankfully the closing track “Between the Wheels” wakes things up! A really great song! I love the keyboards in this one. They simple but creepy! And the groove of this song is damn sweet! Great closer! So now how do I rank this? Well…the songs I like, I LOVE. So they push this up higher for being so strong. I’ll go with a 8/10

10. HOLD YOUR FIRE (1987)

This one may surprise some people as it is often looked down upon in the Rush discography but I really like a lot of this on here. See they got it right on this one where as they failed on Presto.  I love the opening track “Force Ten” not only a great song but a great opening track to a album. It just has that feel to it. Next up is “Time Stand Still” which is another song I enjoy quite a lot. I love the breakdowns in this song. Plus it has the lovely Aimee Mann who has such a elegant voice and one I have always loved. Up next is “Open Secrets” which I also like quite a lot! This album was never low for me but it has went up quite some. I just love it. You know it wouldn’t be me if I didn’t have a contrarian pick or two in the mix. Ha. So let’s see… What do we have next? Ahh yeah, “Second Nature” another one I like quite a bit! Hey! I told you I love this album! Okay, maybe not love but I like it quite a lot! “Prime Mover” is a nice one as well. It has a good groove and I love the harmonies. The clean acoustic that comes in adds a lil’ special touch as well. Next up we have “Lock And Key” and it comes in with some amazing vocals by Geddy. Love the keys in it as well. Then it kicks in and rocks you a little and has some of the best lyrics as well by Neil. I love this song. The almighty “Mission” comes next and ohhh is this gooood.  This song makes me feel good. It’s like a song of hope. It makes you reach out to things that make you feel good inside. It makes me happy. Now the next song “Turn The Page” is cool as well. I swear I can’t believe how much I like this album now. As I said, I’ve always dug it but not this much lately. Moving on to “Tai Shan” which is the one song on here that I do not care for. I don’t hate it by no means but I just don’t find it up to par with the rest. I do skip this one sometimes. I appreciate what they were trying to do with it but it just doesn’t grab me much. Now for the closing track “High Water” which I almost put in the same category as “Tai Shan”.  It just doesn’t go anywhere. But I don’t dislike it. So having said all that… I will give Hold Your Fire a solid 8/10

9. RUSH (1974)

The one that started it off to us all and introduced us to all the great music over the years. “Finding My Way” is a kick ass opening track. Some good riffing by Mr. Lifeson. The song itself has one of the best rock grooves ever laid down. The second track, not so good. Seems a bit cheesy to be a Rush song. Lyric-wise anyway. It does have a pretty kicking groove which this album seems to focus on. It isn’t a song I skip by no means. Once again Alex is solid as fuck with that solo. This was one of the albums I had to go back to because I just forgot songs like this third track “Take a Friend” which by the way is a damn cool tune. I can’t over-specify the groove on this album. It’s a head nodder for sure. “Here Again” I really love. I like the slow pace of this one. Let’s just say I’ve been known to smoke a joint or two to this one. This is one of my all time favorite Rush songs that sadly gets overlooked. And if you can’t move to “What You’re Doing” you don’t have a fucking pulse. This one just jams! “In The Mood” seems like a song Ace Frehley or Gene Simmons could have written. Just has that old KISS groove. The solo even has a Ace feel to it. The drums have that Peter feel. Good stuff. Now we get a slow beautiful one with “Before and After” which is just fucking perfect. I love the chord breakdowns in this. I just wish they would have kept it slow like at the start. Not that I don’t like the rest. Especially the drums and Alex coming in with that kicking groovin’ solo. Winner. And to close things out we get “Working Man” which is in my top  five Rush songs ever. I love every fucking thing about this song. It just leaves you wanting more and you hate to see the album come to a end. So where do I put this one score wise? A very solid 8.5/10 which maybe isn’t so solid considering I’m leaning more towards a 8.5/10 than 8/10. Yep, it’s that damn good. Not bad for a debut aye?

8. ROLL THE BONES (1991)

Okay first things first. Let’s just get this out of the way by saying this is one of the best album covers ever. I love the way the colors all come together nicely and the art is amazing. Now can the album live up to the cover? Let’s see… So this starts out with “Dreamline” one of my favorite Rush songs and one of the greatest album openers ever. It just comes in and kicks your ass! I fucking love this song! It needs no more than that! Next we have “Bravado” which is another fave. This song just comes at you and doesn’t let go. It is so addicting! Two back-to-back great songs! Can they stay at this level?! Well up next we have the title track and I’m kind of 50/50 on this one. I like some of it so much and other parts I don’t. Mainly that silly rap part ruins it. The chorus is nice and relaxing. That synth keyboard that jumps at you is pretty silly as well but I still can enjoy this song. I just wish it could be redone and fixed in a proper way and it would be top notch. After this one we come up on “Face Up” which is pretty cool. It’s not great but not bad by any means. It has a steady rocking groove. It’s a nice one. Next we have “Where’s My Thing” which I always skip. I just don’t care for this, minus the slower parts and the faster grooving parts. But that funky part is a no-go. I never like when Rush does this. Thankfully they never did it much. Again, like “Roll The Bones” they could have took this and made it great by removing the silly parts. But hey, just my thoughts. Onto side two we head. The opening track “The Big Wheel” kicks things off and it’s a pretty rocking song. Has a good driving feel to it. I dig this one quite a bit. They probably should have sent this one to radio. It has that feel. Okay onwards we go to “Heresy” which is a nice one. A total underrated sleeper tune. Has a magical peaceful feel to it. They keep it simple and it works perfectly. This album did well but should have done much better. But now we come to my favorite song off the album, “Ghost of a Chance”, and I just can’t specify how much I feel this one It has moved me since the day I was given the pleasure of hearing it. I still play this one so much. They were onto something with this one. A fucking masterpiece track. As is the following track “Neurotica” which I find a very unique and different song for Rush. I wish they would have done more songs like this. It’s perfect. Now we close it out with “You Bet Your Life” and they end it on a pretty good note. Not one of the better songs on the album and that chorus chant is annoying but other than that a decent track. So what do I rank this one… How about a good 8.5/10

7. SNAKES & ARROWS (2007)

I use to always call this one and Vapor Trails the twins. But this is soooo much better so it’s the good twin. The leadoff track “Far Cry” is fucking killer. Such a damn opener! And then you get “Armor and Sword” which is also a damn amazing track and maybe my fave on the album! I love everything about this one. The music in this one just makes me want to melt! Now the third track “Working Them Angels” kicks in and by the intro I’m like iunno.. Then BAM! WIN! I also think this would have been perfect for Clockwork Angels not just because of the title (though that helps) but because of the feel of it. Sounds perfect for that album. “The Larger Bowl” comes up next and man is this good. I love when Alex has his acoustic moments. He is just so good. This song should have been a huge hit for them. Then we come to “Spindrift” and it’s a total win. Dark and heavy. I swear it is so good that Michael and I did this because I seriously forgot just how much I love this album. This one will be going in my car tomorrow. Now let’s move on to “The Main Monkey Business” which is a bit silly but Rush likes doing this sometimes. They always got along as a group so they had fun. Nothing wrong with that! The song though despite the silly title is actually anything but silly. It has that nice dark groove going on like most of this album. Yet it’s not done in a depressing way it’s more of a watch us have our dark fun and take you with us for the ride. It’s a really special album to me just filled with greatness one track after the next. I’m telling you midway through this review of this album that it’s going to be way up there on the list. I love this so much. But until we get there let’s keep going and we come to “The Way The Wind Blows” and they just don’t let up. This one has a nice blues feel and some nice jamming going on. And man that solo! I dig it! Okay let me try and speed things along because I could write for ages about this album. So on we come to “Hope” which is just what it feels like. Hope. This makes you feel like everything is going to be okay. Some sweet work here by Mr. Lifeson. He’s too good for words. So we’ll carry on to “Faithless” and this one I heard they caught some flack for. It is talked about for being anti-religion. So what, it’s their business and beliefs. I like this song just fine. It also has some amazing work by Alex. This really does feel like his album. Like this is his baby. Well congrats on this baby! Okay so what comes next is “Bravest Face” which just like everything so far wins. Everything just gels so well together on this album. It keeps the pace and sounds like a album should. This is not a album where you can just pick songs. You need it as one. It feels like it was recorded that way when albums meant something and flowed together. And we now come to “Good News First” and good news this is! Comes in and rocks right off! More dark grooves here. Fucking fantastic! Damn I’m running out of praise here. LOL. This is a long album! And I’m glad of this! Okay now we coming close to the end and the song “Malignant Narcissism” (great damn title btw) comes up and this one has them in a funky yet dark space and it works! Some great ass jamming right here! Alex just shines his ass off in this one. Well I did call this his baby. lol. Okay after a long and amazing journey we come to the closer “We Hold On” and this one is the one closes it out nicely and letting you know we’ll be back! Now how do I score this. Well high as kites of course. I give this a 9/10 and I was very close into moving this above 2112 but I’ll leave it here but it’s on your ass 2112!

original cover

6. 2112 (1976)

The holy grail I like to call it. I’m not going to spend a lot of time on this one for one reason. I just don’t feel I will do it enough justice. I’ll give it a small go though. The opener. Fucking 2112, MAN. THAT IS WHAT GOT ME INTO RUSH! I heard this at like 15 (I’m 27 now) and I just sat there blown the fuck away trying to take it all in as much as possible. I played this over and over and over for weeks. I don’t even think I got to “A Passage To Bangkok” for days on end. I had a friend at the time who said you know there are other tracks on here. I was like yeah in time. In time. Right now I’m dealing with this and I want it instilled in my mind for life. And I think I accomplished just that. Now back to “Passage To Bangkok” with all it’s greatness. The drums in this. The riffs. The lyrics. Geddy’s vocals. All perfect. This is one reason I wasn’t gonna say much about this album because as you can see I’m finding it hard to go against the grain and call it anything but perfect just like “The Twilight Zone” is. That is one of the best damn intros I have ever heard. They pull me in so deep when they do these slow paced songs yet move it to a total different area and then back to it. That is called great fucking musicianship skills. They don’t mess up one single damn thing. Okay, finally one that isn’t perfect. The song “Lessons” just doesn’t fit in on this album. I’ve never cared for it much which will stop this album from being a 10/10. But “Tears” is next and it is in my top 10 all time Rush songs. Everything about it is sheer perfection. I have no words for it. None. So to close it all down we get “Something for Nothing” which features some of the nicest acoustics laid down by Mr. Lifeson. They kick it in and go out on fire. Alex does his thing on this one. That solo is sick! So now time to score this one. Well I’ll go with a 9/10

5. MOVING PICTURES (1981)

Where to even start? Okay let’s begin with no matter how many times I hear “Tom Sawyer” I never get tired of it. It just stays fresh and never dated to me. What a damn opening track! Next we move on to “Red Barchetta” which is a straight up masterpiece. I never thought about cars so much until I heard this. It reminds me of that cartoon The Jetsons. But this time we have the Rush car in space with us cruising to all the horizons beyond anywhere the mind could take us! Damn, what a song. Coming up we move to “YYZ” which is not only one of the greatest instrumentals ever but I didn’t know ’til many years later it was named after this —-> YYZ dates all the way back to the Morse Code railway stations along the Canadian National Railway, which had two-letter identifiers. The code for the station in Malton, Ontario, was YZ, which is where Pearson sits today—hence YYZ.  Pretty damn cool hey?! And now we reach the end of side one with “Limelight” which is another song I never tire of no matter how much I’ve heard it over the years. It stands out as something I could hear today (even with the classic sound) and think man this is fucking great. Well, that’s because it damn well is just that. GREAT!

We now approach side two of the album and many seemed to overlook this side because of how great side one was/is and I just never got that because I find it just as strong. No, it doesn’t have the radio staples we have all come to know but let’s not forget how important this album is as a whole. And what better way to start it than with the astonishing epic “The Camera Eye” which showed us where Rush were heading so to speak. I even hear elements of Hold Your Fire in this. Heavier yes, but you hear where they going in the future. I didn’t mind it at all! This is a great song with so many spaced out sounds and progressive change ups. Man it just wins! As the 2nd song comes up aka “Witch Hunt” you begin to feel like you are on this magical journey where only Rush can take you. I have my own thoughts and beliefs in this song so I’m going to keep that personal. Take what you will from it. Let’s just say the way they I have a soft spot for the darker side of things. Oh, did I mention how much I love this song. Okay, well you get it! Next to close the album we have “Vital Signs” and if i have to choose a weak spot on this album it would be this song. I don’t dislike it but I do tend to fast forward it to the middle part and let it play out because then it’s great! So having said all this I give this album a solid 9/10. This makes it my fifth fave Rush album!

4. COUNTERPARTS (1993)

They back! That’s what I remember feeling when track one started. “Animate” is in my top 10 Rush songs ever! I FUCKING LOVE THIS ONE SOOOOO MUCH! ALL OF IT!  I could go on forever about this song! But I’ll keep it together and move along to “Stick it Out” which has that heavy dark punch to it. Great riffs going on in this one. Solid fucking track. Just like “Cut to the Chase” is a damn punch you out one! Man this album is so damn full of energy and riffs and amazing solos. You can tell they missed rocking out. They took it organic on this one. Up next we have “Nobody’s Hero” which is a deep song about AIDS and one that was needed. Dokken did it with “Kiss of Death” and that was amazing and so is this one by Rush. A straight up fucking gem. Damn can this album do any wrong? We gonna find out. Let’s keep moving. Now we reach “Between Sun & Moon” and yep, you guessed it. Another fucking winner. This album just won’t stop winning! Let’s see if it continues! So now we come to “Alien Shore” and where as not quite as good as the ones before it, still a damn good song! Again, it’s that funky part that rubs me the wrong way that I spoke on in a previous album review. But other than that a damn great song! So what do we have next… Ahhh.. “The Speed of Love” a very nice song that has all the lyrics of a great ballad but the music is grooving and Rush made this work damn well. Yeah, they pretty good at making things work aye? So we got “Double Agent” up next and this one is perfect. Seems to be the theme of this album! Now we come to the instrumental “Leave That Thing Alone” where the funky thing finally works! This is a fucking jamming song right here my friends. Crank this one up and zone out! And now we get to have a “Cold Fire” and if this is what fire is cold then freeze it for me because I want some! What a fucking song! LOVELOVELOVE!!! Man I knew I loved this album but i truly did forget just how damn much. This is such a damn gem. So let’s see how they close out things with “Everyday Glory”. Okay they slow it down and it is a good way to say bye for now. It feels like a farewell, see you later song. I like it lots. The lyrics are so damn good as is Geddy’s vocals. So now the tough part… Where do I score this? Well it’s getting the 9.5 and it’s closer to a 10 than a 9 if that helps you any. This album is one of my go to Rush albums for sure. Great stuff!

3. CLOCKWORK ANGELS (2012)

Sigh… Sadly the last Rush album but if this had to be it man did they go out on a high note! This kicks off with “Caravan” a nice rocker. They keep it simple and get right to it. They sound as strong as ever. A killer fucking opening track. On to “BU2B” which is heavy as fuck! They on that dark ride again that I love so much! GREAT SONG! Next up is the title track which I feel could have been on Hold Your Fire if it wasn’t as heavy. Maybe it’s the intro. But yeah a heavy one here with a melody that holds it down in a good way. Lot going on in this song. They do this quite well as I’m sure you are aware of. Solid fucking track. Now up is “The Anarchist” which is full of movement. This album has a dark feel but it seems they pace it up and keep it on the verge of let’s fucking party! It’s like they see the rainbow they just coasting towards it at their own pace. Something like that! Okay now to “Carnies” which is them taking you to the amusement park for all the rides. No, you don’t want to get off and you do not want this day and night ever to end. You are with Rush! Staying with them we go to “Halo Effect” which kind of makes me sad and miss Neil. More on that later though. But yeah just something about this song that touches me. It’s like good as you can be you still look back on the fool that you was. You never to good to look back on things and say damn, this is that song. Alright, so now we come to “Seven Cities of Gold” and this one reminds me of some old classic Rush. That riff sounds like this could have been on the debut album. They went back with this one! Geddy sounds fucking awesome! Good stuff! Moving on with the show we come to my secnd favorite song off this album AKA “The Wreckers” and I just can’t put into words how much I enjoy this song so I won’t even try. I’d only fail. Just know it’s perfect. I almost feel like this could have been off of Permanent Waves because yes it’s that damn good. The chorus is one of the best they have ever done. THANK YOU RUSH! So now we take a trip on a “Headlong Flight” and man what a fast fucking rocking tune! Man they kick ass on this album. Let’s just say I’m glad this flight wasn’t cancelled! I think this might be the fastest Rush song ever. They damn metal as fuck on this one. I LOVE IT. So now we come to “BU2B2” and it’s a short lil’ number that is alright but not much going on here. But a nice little Geddy moment. It’s cool for what it is. Would have liked it to be longer and seen where it could have went. But it’s cool. Now we come to “Wish Them Well” and this song hits me as I have had to let some people go in my life and just well, wish them well. I won’t go much into that. It’s a bit painful and personal. Okay and now we come to the end… Like literally the end. The last Rush song ever to close an album. This is it. It pains me to even start this song because not only is it the end but it’s so heartfelt and reminds me of Neil so much and my favorite song on the album. So it needs no introduction. It closes the book. and it is the perfect song. So as we come to the end I just want to thank you Geddy, Alex, and of course Neil. Thank you for all that you guys have given me. I love you all more than words can ever express. It’s been one magical journey and one I will never forget and one I will stay on. Thank you RUSH. Thank you. And now I’ll score this… Fuck this feels like saying goodbye. I knew this was going to happy. In tears now with “The Garden”. I give this a 10/10. That’s all I got. Cheers.

2. HEMISPSHERES (1978)

Now this is how it should have been done on Farewell To Kings because “Cygnus X-1 Book II – Hemispheres” is fucking perfect! A total epic masterpiece! I love this song beyond. It’s right up there with “2112” as far as the epic songs go. Yes, I love it that much. I actually listen to it more now than “2112”. Some of the best chord progressions I have ever heard. Now on to “Circumstances” which is a good ass kicking song. Always liked it from the day I heard it. This album reminds me so much of 2112. Just in structure and the whole way it is done. “The Trees” is just as beautiful as “Tears” even when it kicks in it retains it’s beauty. The subject matter is wild as bats but I love that about it! Tree’s arguing and getting jealous of one another! And to close out this amazing album we get my favorite Rush instrumental ever (though again, I do prefer it live on Exit) “La Villa Strangiato” a song that needs no introduction. The total buildup and then the breakdown middle is just glorious as it gets. PERFECT. So now where do I score this one? Well here we go. A PERFECT 10/10 and tied for my all time favorite Rush album. So there you go!

1. PERMANENT WAVES (1980)

This one is going to be ranked high. I love everything about this album. The two opening tracks which were huge on the radio and still are kick it off and I love them to this day and never get sick of either one. Of course I’m speaking of “The Spirt of Radio” and “Freewill” which both are just so built for hard rock radio. And I don’t think either ever left the live RUSH set from the day they dropped. That is what you call hey, we know these are damn staples. Next up is my favorite RUSH song of all time aka “Jacob’s Ladder” which I don’t know how or why it became this but it has been for years and I just don’t see it ever changing. There is just something about it to me. I can’t explain it, so I won’t. I chose it by “Freewill”! Just like I choose “Entre Nous” as one awesome ass fucking song! Alex being all godlike as he’s so good at. And as we move on to the beautiful “Different Strings” you just feel it all pull you in and you look at this album and say is this even possible for something to be this good? Apparently the answer is yes. Straight up craftsmanship right here Ladies and Gents. In every musical sense imaginable. And if that wasn’t enough you get “Natural Science” to close it all down in sheer perfection. I swear, my only problem with this album… I never want it to end. Not ever. The score here is 10/10 which makes it tied with just one more album in the catalogue as my favorite/s.

 


Thank you Jonathan for almost 8000 words of Rush extravagance!  I will go tomorrow with my own Rush list!  — Mike

REVIEW: Def Leppard – “Helen Wheels” from The Art of McCartney (2014)

Part Forty-Six of the Def Leppard Review Series

DEF LEPPARD – “Helen Wheels” and
JOE ELLIOTT – “Hi Hi Hi” from The Art of McCartney (2014 Arctic Poppy)

The Art of McCartney has to be one of the most anticipated yes lesser known tribute albums of the last two decades.  Anticipated because it promised new cover tunes by Kiss, Rick and Robin from Cheap Trick, Alice Cooper, Sammy Hagar, Bob Dylan, Billy Joel, Heart, Willie Nelson Paul Rodgers, and so many more.  For this review series we’ll be looking at two tracks:  one by Def Leppard, and one by Joe Elliott.

Paul McCartney needs no introduction.  If he does, then I ask you to read about a band called “The Beatles” before you read anything else here!

Produced by Ronan McHugh and Def Leppard, “Helen Wheels” is unmistakable Def Leppard.  The opening drum pattern certainly recalls Rick Allen’s work on “Rocket”.  Then it careens into pure pop rock delight!  This Wings single was released in 1974 and later included on some versions of Band on the Run.  Driving, fun, and while different from Def Leppard’s core sound, it’s ideal for them to cover.  The boys in the band aren’t bad singers y’know.

Joe’s solo cover is “Hi Hi Hi”, a standalone Wings single from 1972.  This is far more raw than the Leppard track.  Abe Laboriel Jr. on drums!  Joe’s vocals were recorded at his home studio while the backing tracks were recorded in Los Angeles and London.  Quite a production, but that’s the modern way of doing things.    One thing about Joe’s vocal:  he absolutely goes for it!  It’s like rough and ready Joe from 1980 has returned, but with the skill and experience of an older singer.  This is just a piano-boppin’ rock and roller.

Bravo to Joe and Def Leppard for coming up with some inspired covers.  Certainly more inspired than most of the Yeah! covers album.

4/5 stars

Previous:  

    1. The Early Years Disc One – On Through the Night 
    2. The Early Years Disc Two – High N’ Dry
    3. The Early Years Disc Three – When The Walls Came Tumbling Down: Live at the New Theater Oxford – 1980
    4. The Early Years Disc Four – Too Many Jitterbugs – EP, singles & unreleased
    5. The Early Years Disc 5 – Raw – Early BBC Recordings 
    6. The Early Years 79-81 (Summary)
    7. Pyromania
    8. Pyromania Live – L.A. Forum, 11 September 1983
    9. Hysteria
    10. Soundtrack From the Video Historia – Record Store Tales
    11. In The Round In Your Face DVD
    12. “Let’s Get Rocked” – The Wait for Adrenalize – Record Store Tales
    13. Adrenalize
    14. Live at the Freddie Mercury Tribute Concert
    15. Retro-Active
    16. Visualize
    17. Vault: Def Leppard’s Greatest Hits / Limited Edition Live CD
    18. Video Archive
    19. “Slang” CD single
    20. Slang
    21. I Got A Bad Feeling About This: Euphoria – Record Store Tales
    22. Euphoria
    23. Rarities 2
    24. Rarities 3
    25. Rarities 4
    26. Cybernauts – Live
    27. Cybernauts – The Further Adventures of the Cybernauts (bonus disc)
    28. X
    29. Best Of (UK)
    30. Rock Of Ages: The Definitive Collection
    31. Yeah!
    32. Yeah! Bonus CD With Backstage Interviews
    33. Yeah…Nah!  (Record Store Tales)
    34. Songs From the Sparkle Lounge
    35. “C’Mon C’Mon” (picture disc)
    36. Taylor Swift & Def Leppard – CMT Crossroads (DVD)
    37. B.Sides
    38. Yeah! II
    39. Yeah! Live
    40. Mirror Ball: Live & More (Japan bonus track)
    41. iTunes Re-recordings
    42. Viva! Hysteria (CD 1 & DVD)
    43. Viva! Hysteria (CD 2 & bonus features)
    44. Viva! Hysteria (Japanese bonus track)
    45. Slang (2014 deluxe edition bonus tracks)

Next:

47. Def Leppard (Deluxe and Japanese versions)

Youtubin’: Badlands – “Dreams in the Dark”

When this video debuted on MuchMusic in spring of ’89, everybody but Harrison Kopp (who was not born yet) and John Hubner (who was not Canadian) said “Wow that singer really sounds like David Coverdale from Whitesnake!” The VJs said it and the kids said it. Do you agree? Does Ray Gillen resemble Coverdale in any way? Do you hear it too? Let us know in the comments.

Grab A Stack of Rock #1: Impromptu Friday Night Stream with Harrison and Mike – Oct 28 2022

GRAB A STACK OF ROCK With Mike and the Mad Metal Man

Episode 1:  Dio – Dreamers Never Die review with Uncle Meat

As I was leaving for work on Friday morning, I thought to myself, “You know, I wonder if Harrison or anybody would feel like going live tonight.  Just shoot the shit for an hour.  It might be a fun way to be social on a Friday night and it only has to be an hour.”

I messaged Harrison in Australia just as he was tucking in for the night, and he graciously agreed to get up early and join me for an impromptu live stream.  Setting his alarm clock, Harrison prepared for our first live show since July!

In this hour we discussed the following subjects:

  1. Lego Optimus Prime
  2. Transformers/Back to the Future Gigawatt
  3. Star Wars Black Series Dark Trooper, Marvel Wakanda Forever Ironheart
  4. Recent Japanese import CD arrivals
  5. New acquisitions by Harrison
  6. Black Sabbath/Ray Gillen – Dio/Craig Goldie
  7. Surprise guest appearance by the Meat Man discussing the Dio movie Dreamers Never Die, and Death Angel/Exodus/Testament live in concert
  8. Meat’s next concert, The Musical Box

This was great fun and I hope to catch up to the guys again in the near future.  Thanks for watching everyone!

The Adventures of Tee Bone Man Chapter 9: Castle Communications (by Harrison Kopp)

By Harrison Kopp

THE ADVENTURES OF TEE BONE MAN CHAPTER NINE:  CASTLE COMMUNICATIONS

 

Lucifer Satan Diablo Apollyon Morningstar was not a happy chappy. The Lord of Hell not only had to eternally endure the knowledge that his finest warriors were vanquished at the hands of Tee Bone Man, Superdekes and The Snowman, but, having finally recovered their remains, was now faced with the task of reanimating the four melted lumps of flesh in front of him back into something resembling fearsome creatures of destruction.

Progress had been incredibly slow. He had never actually considered that the KISS could be defeated and, on top of that, he kept finding shards of ice, wood and trace amounts of metal sticking out whatever orifices he could locate. It had been a couple months now, and he was still unsuccessful. To say he was frustrated would be to first assume that he had any patience whatsoever to begin with.

To add insult to injury, just recently he had been forced to join forces with Tee Bone Man and Superdekes in order to save heavy metal. But things were about to turn around. During his brief time visiting in rock heaven he had been able to weasel some information out of one of its residents. Information that would help him locate two items of immense power. The power, he had heard, to conquer any land in an instant.

 


Meanwhile, in the land of the living, Tee Bone Man and Superdekes were enjoying the latest in a series of peaceful weeks back at Deke’s palace. Things had been quiet since their travails across time saving almost the entirety of heavy metal, and the two friends had found themselves with plenty of free time on their hands.

This time had been spent absorbing the multitude of MP3s they had been left by the musicians of rock heaven. Never in their wildest dreams had they ever imagined they’d hear such unique and amazing combinations of musicians.

And the two men had also curiously found themselves rediscovering albums they had previously been familiar with all their lives. As if new life had been breathed into the songs. “Had that guitar fill always been there?” came one notable instance when the duo had first listened to Led Zeppelin’s “The Rover”. And not to mention the time Tee Bone thought to himself “That sounds like one of Deke’s basslines” while listening to “Iron Man”.

And that was only the tip of the iceberg. The duo were very excited to attend the upcoming Iron Maiden concert in Toronto. They’d both seen the band before, but they were both sure this time was going to be like no other.

In short, our heroes had had a very enjoyable month, free from any infernal entanglements, and at this current moment were listening to the much-appreciated Done With Mirrors.

Then came a sound that was definitely not on the original Done With Mirrors, for it was the sound of the T-Phone. This particular baritone ringtone meant that the call was coming from Harrison “El Moustachio” Holden, the hero of Australia who joined the duo on their battle through Hell to save the world from Satanic earthquakes. Tee Bone, expecting the worst, put the receiver to his ear and answered.

“Hey guys! How’ve you been?”, the Australian’s voice rang out. “Actually, save that for when you get here. I’ve got some great news for you. We’ve got a CD and record fair running here tomorrow. If you’re still looking for that Albert Productions Highway to Hell this’ll probably be your best chance to get it”.

Tee Bone turned to Deke, who was already up and packing.

“We’ll be there. Keep a roo warm for us”

The Australian laughed.

“You’ll have our finest steeds awaiting upon your arrival”

 

24 hours later Tee Bone and Deke were across the world, surrounded by vinyl, facial hair and smiling faces. Their trip was already a smashing success. Not only had they found the Albert Productions Highway to Hell they were after, but they had also found first edition printings of the other Bon Scott albums. Deke was suitably chuffed.

The Australian, meanwhile, had scored an Australian tour edition of Blaze Bayley’s Tenth Dimension album. While he prided himself on his knowledge of the British baritone, he never knew Blaze came down here. But the disc title didn’t lie.

But what Tee Bone had in his hands now was rarer and more interesting than all of those put together. And, as it would turn out, far more dangerous.

“Hey, come take a look at this”, Tee Bone said, holding an album with an image of a demonic flaming skull on it. The other two men came over. The record in question was old- very old- and had no track titles. As Tee Bone handled it in his hands the fire seemed to flicker with the movement of the album cover.

This was no ordinary record, and they knew it. A cold wind blew through the building. Harrison had a bad feeling about this. His moustache senses were tingling.

And for good reason. Out of nowhere, the windows and doors of the building crashed open, as a variety of fiends and parademons poured in. One made a beeline straight for Deke, snatching the demonic record out of his hands and attempting to fly away with it. This plan was foiled, however, by a whistling, razor-sharp moustache-shaped boomerang courtesy of one particular Australian in the room.

Seeing the record fall from the dead demon’s hands, Deke dived forward, catching it in mid-air and landing with a crash behind a display of LPs. Emerging shortly after, demonic record in hand, Deke joined Tee Bone and Harrison in repelling the unwanted guests. While these fiends were far from the threat the KISS were, there was a lot of them and only three of our heroes.

Things were starting to look dire. Tee Bone hadn’t brought his guitar and Deke’s bike and gear were in the parking lot. El Moustachio’s razor-moustache was powerful, but it could only do so much. There was only one option left, but it was a cardinal sin of the highest order for the two music lovers.

The two men looked at each other. Tee Bone nodded grimly. Deke nodded back, grabbing a crate of records, and setting it down between them. Tee Bone started sifting through them.

Technical Ecstasy?”, Tee Bone asked, looking at the first album.

“Toss it”, came Deke’s quick reply.

Pulling the record out, Tee Bone mustered all the super strength he had and hurled the record like a frisbee, cutting the nearest fiend’s head clean off. He immediately turned back to Deke, who had the next album in hand.

Ram it Down?”, Deke asked.

“No objections”, said Tee Bone, already in the process of hurling it at the nearest demon.

Of course, the pair didn’t agree on everything. One album in particular caused a bit of an argument.

“Don’t you dare”, said Tee Bone

“Christ, Tee it’s rubbish”, came Deke’s impatient rebuttal.

“But it’s got Tommy Thayer on it”, Tee Bone insisted.

“On backing vocals”, Deke countered.

“And Tom Allom produced it”, Tee Bone continued.

Running out of patience, Deke snatched it out of the crate and threw it before Tee Bone could object further. It found its mark, lodged in the skull of a now-dead demon. Tee Bone huffily returned to sifting through the records.

And then there was the curious case of Chinese Democracy, which spun furiously as it went, but only moved forward through the air at a snail’s pace.

 

 

Nevertheless, with the added ammunition the tide began to turn, and eventually every one of the denizens of Hell that had entered the building lay in pieces on the floor. All except for one. This particularly crafty parademon had bided its time the entire fight and, while Tee Bone and Deke were distracted with the crate of records, had swooped in, snatched the demonic record and made itself scarce before he could be subject to the business end of an LP.

As the dust settled, Tee Bone looked around for the demonic record before realising what had happened.

“Blast it! One of them got away with the strange record.”

Deke smiled.

“On the contrary” he said, pulling out a red-sleeved LP with a picture of a band on the front. “They only got the demonic record’s sleeve. I switched the LPs when I was down behind the tables after that diving catch”.

Tee Bone’s demeanour changed immediately, as hearty guffaws came out of his mouth.

“You legend you. Oh, Satan’s going to love that” He said, in between laughs and breaths for air.


Satan did not, in fact, love that. The ‘music’ that now pierced his ears elicited a string of expletives so foul that if we translated them from their original Infernal for you, they’d turn this page black and burned.

Ripping the record from his ornate turntable, he turned to the demon in the room with him.

“What about the fiends at the castle?”

The demon did not look enthused at having to answer that question. But he did, with a series of negatory grunts.

Satan swore some more. And then a bit more, just for good measure.

“Throw this piece of crap in the first volcano you find!” He yelled, referring, of course, to the LP in his hands. The demon moved to grab it.

Then Satan had a most diabolical thought.

“Actually, give it to the guys in HR. I think this will make fine listening for the tortured souls I preside over.”

The demon obliged, backing out of the room in a bow so low it was a miracle he got out the door on the first try. Satan then stalked over to the cabinet containing Alexander Graham Bell’s prototype telephone. It had been magically connected to the other circles of Hell, and so he only had to speak into the receiver to connect to his desired recipient.

“Baal!”, he spoke, audibly frustrated.

“Hey Lucy. What’s up?”, came Baal’s reply.

Overlooking the mild vexing he had just received, Satan got straight to business.

“I need to redeem that favour you owe me for getting you out of that mess in Bulgaria.

“Negated by that time I got you out of that spat with that Ed fellow, mate”

“Oh, come on, I had him. Besides you still owe me for that business on Cato Nemoidia as well”

“That doesn’t count, remember? It was overruled by the Devil Council.”

Satan was running out of curses to utter.

“Well, in that case, allow me to owe you one. I need a favour”

“Will have to be two, mate. Your repayment rate’s pretty low, so your exchange rate for favours is two owed for every one gained”

Satan got so mad that his skin colour actually changed saturation slightly.

“Fine”, he growled. “The Knights in Satan’s Service are out of action, and I need some replacements to send on a retrieval mission”

“Oh yes, of course. I can absolutely get you some replacement knights”, Baal jovially responded “They’ll be there within the hour”

Hearing enough, Satan cut the line and began to sulk. He mused to himself that things had better start to go his way. If these inconveniences continued to pile up, he might get mad.

 


Back in Australia, Tee Bone and Deke were helping the attendees of the CD and record fair clean up and patch their wounds while Harrison researched the curious LP in front of him. It had taken a lot of digging, but he finally had something from a source that was at least vaguely credible.

“Hey, sounds like we’ve got something really dangerous on our hands here guys” he said. Listen to this.”

He began to read from his phone.

Despite his military prowess and thirst for conquest, the vampiric Count Infernus faced the problem of transporting his armies as readily as he himself could. To counteract this he forged this record, and a number of medieval record players, using dark magic from realms beyond.”

 Tee Bone and Deke looked at each other. They didn’t remember dropping any blueprints for a turntable in the dark ages during their jaunt through time. Harrison continued.

“The Infernum record, as it has come to be known, is the earliest known LP in existence. It holds the screams of the damned, and by playing the record on one of his players he could instantly summon his armies directly from Hell to wherever he was”

“Infernus placed these record players in his strongholds around the world and took the Infernum record with him wherever he went. His terror reigned supreme, until a gathering of heroes from around the world managed to fell him.”

 “While the majority of Infernus’s record players were also destroyed in the following years, the one in his Romanian stronghold remained unlocated, and the Infernum record has since been lost to time.”

This was not good news. Tee Bone knew exactly why Satan’s demons were here, and he could bet where they were going next. Deke was on exactly the same wavelength.

“Looks like we’re going to Romania” he mused.

“Yep”, Tee Bone confirmed. “But what are we going to do with the Infernum record? It would be foolish to take it with us.”

“I think the safest place for it is in El Moustachio’s hands”, Deke said, nodding to Harrison.

The Australian nodded back and surreptitiously put it in his bag. To anyone in the room it would have seemed like nothing out of the ordinary, and no one would have given it a second glance. But Tee Bone, who was closer, caught a glimpse of the inside of Harrison’s bag. Now he wasn’t completely sure, but he could have sworn he saw some acorns in there.

“I’ll defend it with my life”, El Moustachio avowed.

“Hopefully it won’t come to that” Tee Bone said with a smile, forgetting all about what he had seen. “But we really have to be going now.”

“Of course. Good luck” Harrison replied, with a wave as Deke fired up his motorbike. The two accelerated down the road, before shortly taking flight and disappearing into the atmosphere as Harrison watched on.

With everyone now safe at the CD and record fair, the Australian set off for his house, making sure to double check his bag was still fully zipped up. After all, he didn’t intend to get caught in public with the cover of Bad English sticking out of his bag.

 


If Baal hadn’t already been one of the Lords of the Dead, Satan would have killed him. He’d provided replacement knights for Satan’s service, all right. Actual knights. The four beings that stood before him were mostly just simple men who had found themselves in Hell for their deeds on various Earths. Nothing like the all-powerful humanoids of destruction he had sent to the Snowman’s house.

First there was Nocturn Nuit, the famous French warrior who always struck under the cover of night. Possessing the power of seeing perfectly in the dark, it was quite ironic that he met his end tripping over a raised root and impaling himself on a tree branch.

Then there was the notorious Black Knight. Despite being shaded in a deep purple in his first appearances, this comic-universe villain’s heart as black as the armour he was entirely clad in. A nasty piece of work, it took the combined efforts of the Rainbow Warrior and the White Snake to finally fell him.

Thirdly stood a golden-armoured knight from a dimension of monsters and magic. Or, at least, his armour did. The man’s quest for immortality had resulted in his body fading away as his armour remained together, possessed by a singular will to live on.

And lastly there was Bernard. The poor sod had been mistaken for an intruder and was arrowed to death by his own comrades. And then, to add insult to injury, he’d been mistakenly sent to Hell to pay for crimes he had not even committed.

But Satan did have one secret weapon up his…uh…sleeve. A cavalryman that could lead the sorry bunch before him to victory. At least he’d better lead them to victory, or there’d be Hell to pay.

Satan gave a sharp whistle and the Headless Horseman himself walked through the door, making a pointed effort to stoop for a door beam that he’d clear regardless. Satan, tossing a cage with the man’s head in it to himself, addressed the horse-bound man.

“I need Count Infernus’s record and last surviving record player. Take this pathetic bunch to his castle and get it for me. Succeed and you’ll be one step closer to earning this little thing back”

The Headless Horseman severely doubted that. Satan was fond of “contract extensions” as he liked to put it. But he didn’t really have a choice so, devoid of any other way to indicate assent, he gave Satan a thumbs-up. The Headless Horseman then swiftly turned and led the group out the door, being very sure to make another one-digit gesture towards Satan as he exited.

 


Meanwhile in Romania, Tee Bone and Deke had just landed in the village on the outskirts of Infernum Keep. It was just before midnight now, and Deke hoped they weren’t too late, as they had made a short detour to pick up Tee Bone’s guitar and suit on the way there.

Dismounting the bike, the duo began to make their way through the dilapidated buildings and crooked trees. Every shadow was a deep ebon, and it seemed like every corner could hold a demon. Deke was on edge. Tee Bone kept looking over his shoulder. As they walked, villagers shrank away from them, either in fear or awe.

 

But having passed through the village without incident, our heroes began to climb the hill that led to Count Infernus’s castle. Halfway up a wolf’s howl pierced the silence, and Tee Bone got the feeling they were being watched.

His unease didn’t subside when they reached the castle’s outer gate, finding that it had already been wrenched off its hinges. Tee Bone started to worry. The whole night was alive, but nothing had attacked them yet. He knew something was going to happen sooner or later, but the suspense was killing him.

Tee Bone did not have long to wait though. Mere seconds after the duo had reached the front gate, the sky split open, as eerie purple light bathed the entire world around them. Tee Bone squinted at the chasm in the sky, swearing he could see figures in it.

But they had bigger problems. With the aid of a set of binoculars, Deke had spotted five figures moving towards them at an alarming pace.

“Tee! We’re about to have company!”, he yelled to his left.

Snapping out of his stupor, Tee Bone took the binoculars from Deke and observed four knights and a headless horseman carving a path through the village. There was no doubt what was keeping the villagers indoors now.

“We can’t take them all at once”, Tee Bone flatly stated.

“I agree. We’ll have to lose them in the castle and take them out one by one”, Deke added.

The two men in agreement, they both turned and ran through the grand double doors to Count Infernus’s castle, immediately finding themselves in a large, grand hall.

“I’ll go right, you take left”, Deke said, not taking any time to marvel at their surroundings.

Tee Bone nodded, immediately heeding Deke’s words. Deke himself exited the hall through the second door on the right, finding himself in a stone hallway lacking furnishing. He cautiously continued on into the dim light. After a series of twists and turns he wasn’t sure he had memorised, he found himself in what appeared to be the armoury.

This was the first good news Deke had got since the CD and record fair. Taking a brief moment to consider his options, he selected a fairly lightweight shortsword that fit in well in his hand and continued searching for a good room to make a stand in, or the one that held the ancient record player. He wasn’t too fussed which one it was.

Elsewhere in the castle, Tee Bone was exploring the ornate corridors that made up the second floor. Countless paintings, candles and doors marked the path he had taken to now find himself in the massive castle library. And that wasn’t all he had found. Barely distinguishing itself from the statues around it, the living golden armour silently strode forward and drew its sword.

Deke had also encountered a statue. This one didn’t seem to be moving though. At least, not yet. Deke was also on the second floor now and had found Count Infernus’s personal office. Exquisitely furnished, and full of expensive trinkets, it was a picture of opulence.

But the curious item in the office was the grey statue at the end. Expertly sculpted, there was one thing amiss with it: it’s right hand, the sword hand, was at an odd, unnatural angle, actually breaking up the sculpt. Plus it was missing its sword. Deke knew exactly what this meant so, with no infernal warriors challenging him yet, he began scouring the office for clues.

 

Across the castle Tee Bone was locked in a ferocious battle with the golden armour. Both in possession of superhuman strength, they battered each other’s defences to no avail. But Tee Bone was still fighting a losing battle. His guitar could not survive much longer against the golden knight’s broadsword. He needed a guitar solo to end this quickly. But which one?

Then it hit him. The solo idea, not his opponent’s sword. Jumping backwards, he began to play. Simple, at first, but with each successive string of notes he raised the complexity and the speed. He was, in essence, turning up the heat.

And the armour was feeling it. With every note a flash of lightning shot from Tee Bone’s fingers, striking a point on the armour. And it turns out being comprised entirely of metal plates had its downsides when your opponent was basically casting the heat metal spell.

Mired in place by gloopy, half-melted greaves, The golden armour could only stand and watch helplessly as Tee Bone wound his arm up to strike a massive power cord that sent bits of melted armour splattering all over the walls. The armour was finally no more, but Tee Bone couldn’t rest on his laurels just yet. First, he had to extinguish his fingers, something he achieved shortly after with the liberal application of his powerful lung capacity.

Back in the office Deke had finally found what he was looking for. There were a number of photos on the desk, and the one currently in his hands had an image of some tall vampire lady on it and the words “To remember my visit by. Yours, Alcina”. Ugh. But, crucially, the photo had also been taken in the very room Deke was now in, and it showed the statue with a sword in its hands. What’s more, he had seen that sword before. Back in the armoury.

“Unbelievable”, Deke moaned, trying to remember the route back to the room of weapons.

Tee Bone was not having the best time either. No sooner had he left the library was he challenged by the Black Knight, who jumped down from the third floor, landing with an almighty thud. Tee Bone, tired and in need of a short rest, thought he’d try and stall with some diplomacy.

“C’mon now, you’ve nothing to gain from this. Let’s just save ourselves some trouble”, he said, quickly gathering his strength.

The negotiations were short. The Black Knight didn’t bite.

“Hush! You fool no one. You’re tired and weak. Prepare to face your maker!”, he boomed, drawing a greataxe and advancing on Tee Bone.

“Your funeral”, Tee Bone said, with a shrug. “I might just take your life.”

And he grabbed his guitar, preparing to do exactly that.

Having made it to the armoury without bumping into any knights, Deke went straight to the sword in the picture. It was a notched steel sword with an ebon blade and a cruel, jagged appearance.

Deke picked the sword up, instantly triggering a booby trap that sealed off the door he had used to enter. Fortunately, the architects of the castle had the foresight to engineer multiple ways to get to the weapons room, and Deke quickly found a hidden passage in the floor.

He turned his attention back to the sword in his hand. It was cool to touch, and it seemed like shadows pulsed and ebbed along its surface. There was no doubt that this was the sword he needed.

Wasting no time, he jumped down the trapdoor into the dank cellar. The splash of his landing echoed around the dark room.  He took a few steps forward toward the exit, signified by a light at the end of the tunnel he was in.

While it had initially appeared he was alone, he now knew that was not the case. The light at the end of the tunnel had been partially obscured by the silhouette of a man with a sword. Deke instinctively ducked behind a crate of wine bottles.

“Voux ne pouvez pas te cacher. Je vois tout”, the figure called out.

Emerging from behind the crate, Deke drew his sword and reluctantly engaged Nocturn Nuit.

“En guarde you canard!” he cried.

“Tête de merde”, the French knight muttered under his breath, meeting Deke’s challenge.

The two fought, and Deke immediately noticed a problem: he was not much of a swordsman. Though Deke’s eyes were adjusting to the dim light, the Frenchman knew he still had the advantage and he pressed hard.

But Deke still had his wits about him. Though Nocturn Nuit was anticipating his lunges and ripostes, Deke had something up his sleeve he knew the French knight wouldn’t’ see coming.

Jumping back a few steps, he tossed his sword up to himself, carefully caught the tip of the blade between his fingertips and hurled it dead-straight at Nocturn Nuit’s face. Half a second later the pommel struck the Frenchman straight between the eyes, and he fell to the ground unconscious.

Standing triumphant over his foe, Deke could not resist savouring his victory.

“Night night, night knight”

Chuckling to himself as he ran out of the cellar, he made his way back to the office without further incident, save for a stomach-turning shortcut through the kitchen. With everything he needed at hand, he placed the ebon-bladed sword in the statue’s hand. It settled itself in there like it had always belonged there. He followed this up by turning the statue’s hand back into its natural position. It came to rest with a satisfying click.

This was followed by several other clicks, thunks and grinding sounds that came from inside the statue and the walls of the room. When they had finally finished, an opening in the west side of the room had opened, with Infernus’s last record player sitting on a pedestal inside it.

Deke cautiously approached it. Despite not having not set off any more traps, he was on guard. He reached the pedestal and, keeping an eye on his surroundings, snatched the player and jumped back in one swift move. Nothing happened. Deke waited a few more seconds, and then let out a breath.

But he had no time to waste. The record player needed destroying, and he knew just the perfect way to do it. Hurrying back to the kitchen, he threw the player into a large cauldron of green liquid.

The result was immediate. The liquid inside the cauldron broiled and writhed, hissing as noxious smoke filled the room. The last Deke saw of it as he ran out of the room the contents of the cauldron had now overflowed, setting the room on fire.

 

Back on the second floor, the battle raged on. Tee Bone and the Black Knight were locked in fierce combat. So far Tee Bone had been able to dodge the swings of the knight’s greataxe, but his sonic blasts had been failed to unseat the dark warrior.

But then there was a twist in the tale. An opportunity had just opened up for him. The latest swing of the greataxe found the weapon lodged into one of the statues in the hall and, as the stone leaned on the axe, it was only getting tighter.

Tee Bone took immediate advantage, and fired a sonic blast right into the statue, sending the top half of the Spanish archer crashing down on top of his armoured foe, shattering into pieces as it struck him.

The effect was immediate. The evil knight was sent staggering, with a deep gouge in his chestplate. Wasting no time, Tee Bone followed this up by turning his guitar perpendicular to his body and sending off a fireball right into the Black Knight.

“Burn!”, he yelled triumphantly, as the blast found its mark.

Tee Bone continued his assault, battering the knight with blast after blast, and finally began to wear him down. The dark warrior cried out to his compatriots for help, but no one came. Tee Bone caught a look in the man-demon’s eye that he hadn’t seen yet: fear.

“No no no”, the knight softly spoke.

But it was only for an instant. The Black Knight had found his greataxe among the ruins of the fallen statue and got to his feet. No more than a living wreck by now, he resorted to feral swings in Tee Bone’s general direction.

But these we easy to anticipate, and Tee Bone effortlessly dodged them. This only enraged the Black Knight, who allowed himself to be manoeuvred right next to the railing that overlooked the lower hall.

And it was here that Tee Bone made the difficult decision. This was only ending one way now, and he had to face that fact. It was time to kill. Timing his next sonic blast with the latest swing of the greataxe, he sent the weapon flying skyward. He followed this up with a smashing hit across the Black Knight’s helmet, sending him flying over the railing to his death.

The battle was finally over, but the victory was not without its costs. In his hands Tee Bone now held the neck of his guitar, strings awry, and completely devoid of its head. Weakened by the battle with the golden armour, the final strike against the black knight’s head had shattered the instrument into the countless pieces that now lay at Tee Bone’s feet.

Mournful and fatigued, he tried to take a moment to catch his breath. But this was rudely interrupted by one of the doors behind him being thrown open.

“Now what!?” Tee Bone yelled. Turning to face his next opponent.

But it was only Deke, in a bit of a rush.

“Oh it’s good to see you buddy. What’ve you been up to?”, Tee Bone asked wearily.

“Fought some French knight and found the record player”, he replied between breaths for air.

“And that cloud of green smoke behind you?”, Tee Bone prompted.

“Destroyed the record player, but now there’s a fire in the basement”, Deke continued.

“Then we’re out of here”, Tee Bone confidently stated.

The two heroes turned to the doors in the grand hall that led to the outside world. Or, at least, they would have led there, had the Headless Horseman not been waiting quietly waiting and biding his time in front of them.

“The ramparts then”, Deke quickly said, and the turn men took an about face and headed for the third floor. The Headless Horsemen galloped after them, of course, but Deke was counting on this.

Soon enough, the three men found themselves standing atop the castle’s ramparts. What had once been a castle full of rascals had now been reduced to the elevated trio in question. (Bernard, of course, had wandered off to the village pub half an hour ago).

 

The purple light from earlier had disappeared, along with the crack in the sky that had created it, but in its place the green smoke billowing from the burning castle below them obscured their vision. Well, Tee Bone and Deke’s visions. The Headless Horseman seemed unaffected, charging directly at the two heroes.

Two worn-down and tired heroes who didn’t have the energy or the armaments to take on the speeding cavalryman bearing down on them.

So they did the exact opposite of what anyone expected. They jumped of the edge of the ramparts. Well, perhaps “jumped” isn’t the best word, because moments later Tee Bone was flying away from the burning fortress with Deke in tow holding on to his cape.

And the Headless Horsemen finally realised how he’d been fooled. He spun around to look at the door back to the castle, but it had been completely obscured by the thick smoke all around.

Unable to escape the ramparts without becoming a splattered mess on the ground below, he sat and waited, savouring the brief moments he had spent in the realm of the living before the fires of hell claimed him once more.

Back in the village, Tee Bone let Deke dropped off to recover his bike. He hung in the air for a moment, contemplating.

“What should we do with the Infernum record then?” He asked, thinking of El Moustachio back in Australia.

“Well it’s little more than an old trinket now”, Deke said. “And I think I know just the man who’d appreciate it. But what about your guitar?.”

“Finished”, Tee Bone replied. “I’ll have to do without it for the meantime, while we look for another one.”

And so Deke took a detour on the way back to Thunder Bay, picking up the Infernum record from Australia and dropping it off to a certain Snowman in America. Upon his return to Deke’s Palace, the Scotch flowed liberally as the two friends celebrated their triumph over evil.

And Satan, so thoroughly beaten now, and with no hope of a quick conquest of the Earth, sat and sulked, turning his sights towards other worlds.

 

 

 

 

 

More Classic Iron Sheik Tweets

Here are a dozen more tweets from the Iron Sheik’s Twitter account.  Rumour has it that his account is handled by a couple Canadian guys.  What do you think based on the Can-Con in some of the tweets below?  Canadian Beer Day and Carly Rae Jepson?  There’s definitely something Canadian going on with his Twitter.

Love you Sheiky Baby!


RE-REVIEW: Def Leppard – Slang (2014 Deluxe edition bonus tracks)

Part Forty-Five of the Def Leppard Review Series

Original review:  Slang 2014 Deluxe Edition

DEF LEPPARD -DEF LEPPARD – Slang bonus tracks (Deluxe Edition, 2014 Bludgeon Riffola)

‘Twas a surprise when 1996’s Slang received the deluxe edition treatment in 2014.  The Viva! Hysteria celebrations were a success, and now another album was getting a little bit of attention, although the word “deluxe” really pushed it.  As the Heavy Metal Overlord once stated:

When it turned up I wis pure gutted. I thought the booklet had better be snazzy but it wisnae either. Just a wee hing where Joe tried tae mind stuff fae back in the day. Nae liner notes. Nae lyrics. Nuhin. Just some shite photies. My old copy had two discs, a slimmer case and lyrics. And some photies an aw! Gid wans. One of them oan a bus like they were aw goin doon the toon or somethin. How wis that no deluxe but this is deluxe? If they’d called it a “2CD Edition” that wid huv been awrite but they didnae. This is “deluxe”… cept it isnae. I don’t have a Scooby whit they’re playin at. Eejits.

Exactly.

Deluxe or not, the expanded edition of Slang gave new focus to the cult-status album.  Radically different versions of album tracks, unreleased songs, and works in progress offer a look at an album that really has never received its due credit for what it was.

The Slang deluxe featured a number of bonus tracks, and some iTunes exclusive bonus tracks as well.  Thankfully, the Def Leppard CD Collections box sets include some of these bonus tracks. Today we’ll mostly focus on the ones not included in previous reviews, from the Slang deluxe.

Here is a list of the iTunes bonus tracks, later included on one of the CD Collection box sets.  We’ve discussed these before in more detail.

1. “Truth?” (Demo Version) – Previously on “Work It Out” CD single.

2. “Work It Out” (Demo Version) – B-Side from “Work It Out” with Viv singing and completely different from the other versions on the Deluxe. Viv referred to it as his “Crowded House” version.

3. “When Saturday Comes” From the film When Saturday Comes and “All I Want Is Everything” single.

4. “Jimmy’s Theme” From the film When Saturday Comes and “All I Want Is Everything” single.

5. “Cause We Ended as Lovers” (Solo track by Phil)  From the Jeff Beck tribute album Jeffology: A Guitar Chronicle and “All I Want Is Everything” single.

6. “Led Boots” (Solo track by Viv)  From the Jeff Beck tribute album Jeffology: A Guitar Chronicle and “All I Want Is Everything” single.

There are also two iTunes exclusive bonus tracks that remain exclusive to iTunes.  We’ll get to those.

The Slang deluxe’s first bonus was track 12 on disc one, the buttery “Move With Me Slowly”, the original Japanese bonus track for Slang.  This is a beautifully recorded, raw, smooth, and sexy Def Leppard song.  An incredible song, as we have discussed on the CD Collection Vol. 2.  We’ll say it again:  should have been on the album.  We’ll add:  those guitar solos are so incredible.  Full of feel, organic sounding tone.  Some of the best guitar playing on a Def Leppard song.  Another good one is track 16, the acoustic “Can’t Keep Away From the Flame”, a B-side and Japanese bonus track to the Vault CD.  Another song that deserved a proper place on an album.  “Worlds Collide” is also on this set, a really heavy metal track, originally released on the B-side to “Goodbye” during the Euphoria era.  Heavy, but definitely B-side material.  We also have “Burn Out”.  Great little rocking groover, more like old Def Leppard than the final Slang album.  No loops, no electronic instrumentation, so acoustics.  Just chug, chug, chug and rock and roll.  Joe’s vocal is full of attitude.

Let’s go through all the remaining Slang bonus tracks and have a listen to a largely misunderstood album, as it might have been.

1. “All I Want Is Everything” (Demo) – iTunes only.  A unique version of the song, with the some of the lyrics intact and everything radically different.  The chorus has the final melody, but delivered as a more traditional rock shout.  The melancholy mood of the final version is taking shape, but there is no question that “All I Want Is Everything” was better in its final version.

2. “Turn to Dust” (Phil verse vocal version)  (Track 1, disc two.)  This version of the second Slang album track is similar to the final, though with Phil Collen singing the verses, with Joe on the chorus.  Phil’s raspier voice adds a different, laid back direction.  The backing track is not the final mix though the sitar and some of the effects are in place.  Collen fans will love it.

3. “Raise Your Love” (version of “Slang”)  (Track 2, disc two.)  Choppy rock guitars are the main feature here!  Joe’s opening rap is intact, but the song deviates from there.  The chorus is a very different refrain of Phil singing, “Baby raise your love!”  Cool track for sure, but the final song became something far more unique as we’ve seen.  If you wished “Slang” was a more rocking tune, then you better check out “Raise Your Love”.

4. “All I Want Is Everything” (1st draft) (Track 3, disc two.)  Somehow, the “1st draft” is more complete and closer to the album version than the “demo”.  Were the two versions mislabelled?  This sounds more like a demo, with the other being the first draft.  In fact this is so close to the final album mix, that you might be able to fool your friends.  The guitar solo is missing, as are the big vocal hooks that follow, which is the biggest clue.

5. “Work It Out” (1st draft) (Track 4, disc two.)  Like the above, this is very close to the final album version.  Very different from Vivian Campbell’s demo, one of the aforementioned iTunes bonus tracks.  Joe’s vocal is not the final take, but the backing track sounds almost ready.  The stuttering guitars and droning strings are all there.  You can hear, in the layers of guitar, the skeleton of Viv’s original idea.

6. “Breathe a Sigh” (Feb ’96 rough mix) (Track 5, disc two.)  All the pieces are in the place but the atmosphere isn’t captured yet.  The final mix would nail that R&B crossed with Def Leppard vibe.

7. “Deliver Me” (Feb ’96 rough mix) (Track 6, disc two.)  Again, very close to the final mark.  Just an earlier, less elaborate version of the final album mix.

8. “Black Train” (version of “Gift of Flesh”) (Track 7, disc two.)  The main riff is there.  The verse melodies are there.  The chorus is the major difference, with this one being a shouty affair.

9. “Blood Runs Cold” (Feb ’96 rough mix) (Track 8, disc two.)  Of all the rough mixes, “Blood Runs Cold” is the most indistinguishable from the final track.  The chorus is the most different, with Phil prominently assisting Joe.

10. “Where Does Love Go When It Dies” (1st draft) (Track 9, disc two.)  Has an almost Marillion-like sheen to the opening guitar textures.  These fade and the mix goes purely acoustic.  This excellent song was already in fantastic shape at this stage.  Could have been on the album as-is.

11. “Pearl of Euphoria” (Feb ’96 rough mix) (Track 10, disc two.)  The epic album closer from Slang, in an early mix.  Similar, but the final version sounds busier, which enhances it.  They made some different choices in the middle section of this mix, but the in-your-face guitar is quite delectable.

12. “All on Your Touch” (2012 revisit) (Track 11, disc two.)  A Slang-era track never properly finished until 2012.  Laid back, dark ballad.  Understated, with shades of “Love Bites” in the guitars, but with an explosive hard-edged chorus.  Awesome solo work on this song.

13. “Anger” (“Deliver Me” 1st draft) (Track 12, disc two.)   Different from the above “final mix” which was very close to the album.  This “first draft” has a different chorus:  “Anger, I’m feeling so much anger!”  It fails to deliver the intended punch, and so it is good they revised it and kept working on it.  They obviously knew the chorus was not the needed hook.

14. “Move On Up” (Vivian demo) (Track 13, disc two.)  Completely unreleased song, a Campbell demo.  Neat punchy riff, with a hint of Jimmy Page.  Vivian sings, and his vocal melody is melodic, different and enjoyable.  It’s too bad the guys didn’t take this song further.

15. “Gift of Flesh” (Phil vocal) (Track 14, disc two.)  Another treat for those who love the raspy voice of Phil Collen on lead vocals.  The backing track is not all the way there yet, but Phil’s vocal track provided the blueprint for the final album version.

16. “Move with Me Slowly” (1st draft) – iTunes only.  The buttery smooth “Move With Me Slowly” appears again, this time in a “first draft” version exclusive to iTunes.  Rougher, slightly rawer mix.  The outro goes out longer, lingering like flavours on your tune.

While it was nice to see Slang get a reissue with a wealth a bonus material, it was a shame the packaging didn’t quite rise to the occasion.  With two tracks remaining unreleased in physical form, and not all the material from the era available in a single place, it’s not too late to do a super deluxe.

4/5 stars

Previous:  

  1. The Early Years Disc One – On Through the Night 
  2. The Early Years Disc Two – High N’ Dry
  3. The Early Years Disc Three – When The Walls Came Tumbling Down: Live at the New Theater Oxford – 1980
  4. The Early Years Disc Four – Too Many Jitterbugs – EP, singles & unreleased
  5. The Early Years Disc 5 – Raw – Early BBC Recordings 
  6. The Early Years 79-81 (Summary)
  7. Pyromania
  8. Pyromania Live – L.A. Forum, 11 September 1983
  9. Hysteria
  10. Soundtrack From the Video Historia – Record Store Tales
  11. In The Round In Your Face DVD
  12. “Let’s Get Rocked” – The Wait for Adrenalize – Record Store Tales
  13. Adrenalize
  14. Live at the Freddie Mercury Tribute Concert
  15. Retro-Active
  16. Visualize
  17. Vault: Def Leppard’s Greatest Hits / Limited Edition Live CD
  18. Video Archive
  19. “Slang” CD single
  20. Slang
  21. I Got A Bad Feeling About This: Euphoria – Record Store Tales
  22. Euphoria
  23. Rarities 2
  24. Rarities 3
  25. Rarities 4
  26. Cybernauts – Live
  27. Cybernauts – The Further Adventures of the Cybernauts (bonus disc)
  28. X
  29. Best Of (UK)
  30. Rock Of Ages: The Definitive Collection
  31. Yeah!
  32. Yeah! Bonus CD With Backstage Interviews
  33. Yeah…Nah!  (Record Store Tales)
  34. Songs From the Sparkle Lounge
  35. “C’Mon C’Mon” (picture disc)
  36. Taylor Swift & Def Leppard – CMT Crossroads (DVD)
  37. B.Sides
  38. Yeah! II
  39. Yeah! Live
  40. Mirror Ball: Live & More (Japan bonus track)
  41. iTunes Re-recordings
  42. Viva! Hysteria (CD 1 & DVD)
  43. Viva! Hysteria (CD 2 & bonus features)
  44. Viva! Hysteria (Japanese bonus track)

Next:

46. “Helen Wheels” (from The Art of McCartney)
47. Def Leppard (Deluxe and Japanese versions)

#1019: Lil’ Buddy

RECORD STORE TALES #1019: Lil’ Buddy

Early 2006. Jen and I had been dating a few months, and I was placed at a brand new job at United Rentals in Cambridge.  Things were looking up!  I escaped the hell hole that was the Record Store, the office Bully had lost all her power over me, and I had met the girl that I knew I was going to stick with.  Life was coming together!  It was during this glowing golden time that I briefly met and fell in love with Lil’ Buddy.

We were out walking one cold Sunday in the neighbourhood when a little stray puppy with no tags strolled up to us wagging his little tail.  We greeted him and looked around for his human.  There was no-one around.  The little guy kept following us.  We didn’t know what else to do.  We brought him home and gave him some water and warmth.  I just fell for the little guy immediately.  He was so friendly, affectionate and quiet.  I named him Lil’ Buddy.  We spent a few hours with him before doing what had to be done.

It was the hardest thing to do, but the only right thing to do.  We bundled him up into the car and took him to the humane society.  It was very emotional for me, and I asked them, please please call me if he is not claimed.  He would have a loving home with us.  I didn’t know how I was going to handle a dog in my little apartment but I didn’t care.  I’d figure it out.  The little guy had won my heart.

I waited a couple days, and then called the humane society on my lunch break.  It was bittersweet to find out that Lil’ Buddy had been claimed.  I was glad that he found his human, but I was really hoping he could have stayed.  Apparently Lil’ Buddy belonged to an elderly woman, so she certainly needed his company more than I did.  I’m sure she loved him very much.  How could she not?

We only spent a few hours with him, but I’ll never forget Lil’ Buddy.  We had a very special Sunday afternoon together.  We could have been friends.  He was very special.