REVIEW: Jethro Tull – Songs From the Wood (Remaster)

For JT!

Scan_20150807JETHRO TULL – Songs From the Wood (1977, EMI 2003, remaster)

I love the jaunty, lighter side of Jethro Tull.  One of the reasons I started listening to Tull was that acoustic side.  It’s unique among rock bands.  They could still be pompous, but in a fun kind of way.  The critics called it “folk rock”, but that is misleading. It’s much more complicated than that.  Songs From the Wood might be considered the epitome of this kind of Tull music.  It was also the first for keyboardist David Palmer as an official member of the band, and perhaps that has something to do with the direction of the album.

The title track begins things immediately with this type of soft playful Tull song.  A multi-layered Ian Anderson sings harmonies with himself, and then the band come in backing him with gleeful but complex music.  Palmer’s synthesizer is immediately obvious, as he doubles down with John Evan, also on keys.  Certainly Barriemore Barlow has to be one of the most underrated drummers in rock, and his work here is as excellent as it is difficult.

Ian plays all the instruments himself on personal favourite “Jack-in-the-Green”.  This character from old English folklore is usually associated with the coming of spring, and the music is appropriate for that kind of imagery.  This kind of song was in part inspired by the countryside that Ian had relocated to.  While there he read a book on folklore, and that made its way into the music.  It’s hard not to like “Jack-in-the-Green”, unless you’re just a Grinch.  “Cup of Wonder” is brilliant, a celebration with orchestration and bright melodies.

“Hunting Girl” is the first song that delivers a big heavy riff (thank you Martin Barre). The song has a gallop to it, as if you are riding horseback with the Hunting Girl herself.  Martin’s guitar solo is a delight, a brief moment of rock genius.  Up next is a song that was re-recorded many years later for The Jethro Tull Christmas Album:  “Ring Out Solstice Bells”.  It doesn’t feel at all out of place on Songs From the Wood.  It fits the direction and lyrical concept of other songs, with the solstice theme.  Barrie Barlow’s drums on the outro are something else!

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Side two of the album opened with “Velvet Green”, a very percussive song.  Of the tracks thus far, it is the least instantaneous.  It’s one of the longest track at six minutes, and has a very progressive bent.  “The Whistler” on the other hand is pretty instant.  I used to mis-hear the lyrics.  I thought Ian was singing, “I have a pipe, and I’ve come to play.”  I prefer my words to the actual ones, “I have a fife and a drum to play.”  This brilliant little song is about as bright and jaunty as Tull get.  “Pibroch (Cap in Hand)” gives Martin Barre a chance to make a lot of cool noises…weirdly Kiss-like, actually.  “Pibroch” is a long bomber (8:35) and a bit too long at that, but the moments of brilliance shine through, as always.  Especially enjoyable are the quaint “Dr. Who” sounding keyboards near the end.  Just great stuff.  The closer is “Fire at Midnight”, a title that Blackmore seems to have ripped off for his Fires at Midnight album.  It is a brief mostly-acoustic number that returns to the bright spring-like sound that commenced the album.

The Jethro Tull remaster series has been excellent.  Songs From the Wood only has two bonus tracks, which is a darn shame.  “Beltane” shares lyrical themes with other songs on the album.  I don’t know if it’s a B-side or what have you, but it’s clearly from these sessions.  It boasts some of Ian’s best flute work on the disc.  It’s of excellent quality, a worthy bonus track for a great album.  The other extra is a live version of “Velvet Green”, every bit as complex as its studio counterpart.  It’s a bit more lively, perhaps.

People who like Tull would probably love this album because it emphasizes a lot of traits that are unique about Jethro Tull.  Those who hate “folk rock” or progressive rock, or whatever else Tull gets pigeonholed as (classic rock?*) should keep their distance from Songs From the Wood.

4/5 stars

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* Hey, they won a Grammy as a “heavy metal” band.

#423: The Tyranny of Cassette in the ’80s

RECORD STORE TALES MkII: Getting More Tale
#423: The Tyranny of Cassette in the ’80s

Anyone who grew up in the mid to late 1980s probably enjoyed their music on the most popular format at the time:  cassette.  Vinyl LPs were still around, and still popular, but not nearly as much as cassettes.  CDs were new and only a few of us had CD players yet.  Cassette tapes had the portability factor going for them.  Everybody had a Walkman, and those who didn’t probably had one on their Christmas list in 1985.

Vinyl was a dying breed in our highschool halls.  There were still some older kids who boasted of the superior sound quality, but none of my friends had equipment good enough to enjoy that sound quality.  I certainly didn’t.  All I had was a turntable hooked directly into a Sanyo cassette deck for amplification.  The sound was harsh and tinny.  The scratches inherent with the format were also more distracting than the tape hiss of cassette.

So, it was all about cassette!  Buy ‘em, trade ‘em, swap ‘em and re-record over them when you decide you don’t like the music anymore.  I have a cassette copy of Michael Jackson’s Thriller that had long ago been erased and taped over with other stuff.  When you couldn’t find a fresh blank tape to record on, you could just erase something else.  Everybody did it.  My friend Bob had a cassette of In Through the Out Door that he recorded over with us talking and goofing around!

For teenage highschool kids, cassettes were enough for our musical fixes.  A decent quality name brand tape could hold up to 110 minutes without stretching.   We used them to tape anything and everything.  (I have a tape with the sound of a friend’s dad taking a massive shit — no, I did not record it, they did!)  Since cassettes were re-recordable, that meant that every kid could even record their own music and become a rock star in his or her own basement.  You couldn’t do that with your fancy schmancy LPs, we all thought!  Don’t like your song?  Just rewind and record it again!  Those who didn’t play music could have their own fun, DJ’ing and and writing skits.  And let’s not forget about taping your friends’ albums.  Recording tape to tape would always result in excessive tape hiss, but kids didn’t seem to mind in the 1980’s.  We ignored the hiss.  It was something we considered part of the music, because we really never heard any music without hiss!

Although the flaws of cassettes are patently obvious today, in the 80’s we were just discovering these troubling issues for ourselves.  We overlooked the tape hiss, but it was harder to ignore speed issues.  The biggest problem that I had with cassettes was inconsistent speed.  Some tapes, especially those made by Polygram and EMI in Canada, seemed to have a lot of internal friction.   Grab a small screwdriver and open up an old cassette tape some time.  Inside you will find rollers, spindles, and bits and pieces all designed for the cassette tape to roll smoothly.  Whether they worked right always seemed to be a matter of random luck.  When friction inside caused the tape to run slow, it was immediately obvious.  The pitch would be noticeably lower, and often the tape would warble as your player tried to play it at normal speed, but fought against the friction.

On the other hand, sometimes the problems came down to your player.  Your tape deck had even more spindles and doo-dads to turn that tape around and around.  Those got dirty and worn out, too.  Sure, you could buy tape head cleaners and demagnetizers, but did they ever really have a noticeable effect on your listening experience?  Probably not.  I used to diligently clean the insides of my tape decks with lint-free cloths and isopropyl alcohol.  Although I could see black filth coming off the rollers when I cleaned them, the sound and speed never really improved.  It was always very frustrating when a tape would play fine on a friend’s deck, but went slow as molasses on your own.  My Sanyo went in for service and professional cleaning more than once, but that didn’t help either.

Although cassettes sounded like shit, and only got worse the longer you kept them, they did have a big advantage over CD for me, and that was portability.  I preferred cassettes in the car, up until fairly recently.  The reason for this was, working in the used CD store, I saw so many CDs that were just utterly destroyed by car CD players.  You don’t get that problem so much anymore, but in the 90’s and 2000’s, there were a lot of discs just annihilated by a lot of car decks. It didn’t seem to matter if the car player was a high-end stereo or a piece of crap.  People would bring their used CDs in to me, and ask me how they looked.  I’d usually ask, “Did you play this in a car deck?”  I could always tell.  Customers would ask me, “How did you know?”  Because the CD would be completely scratched, but always in perfect circles.  Some dirt clearly got into the car deck, and scratched up the discs as they were spinning.  Or, the disc was just scraping up against the internal workings of the car player as it spun.  Either way, the result was usually a CD that looks like a kid’s Spirograph drawing.

At least when playing a cassette in the car, those things could take a beating.  I only ever had one or two that were “eaten” by the player.  Compare that to the thousands of CDs that I saw destroyed by car decks over the years.

If life is a musical journey, then cassettes were my travelling companions for over a decade.  We had a necessary parting of ways, and now I am happy to stick to CD and flash drives when on the road!

REVIEW: Death Angel – Act III (1990)

ACT IIIDEATH ANGEL – Act III (1990 Geffen)

I am no stranger to Death Angel.  In the 80’s, I knew them as that thrash band from San Francisco, that grew up listening to Love Gun.  I also thought they were a bit too heavy for my hemispheres.  Whatever “too heavy” means, anyway.  Then I received a review request, from Uncle Meat.  “I want this man to review Act III by Death Angel .   I think it’s a good’er.”

Very vintage Anthrax-like is “Seemingly Endless Time”, and excellently produced by Max Norman too.  The vocals are in the Belladonna range, and the pace is rangingly fast, while paradoxically grooving heavily.  However you want to describe it, it’ll slam you right in the face.  It’s that whole Bay area thrash vibe, honed to a killing edge.  The chorus has an Ozzy-like melodic power.  Then, “Stop” chugs like the heavier side of Testament.  Mark Osegueda has a versatile voice, at times recalling young James Hetfied.  There are plenty of time changes and surprises on this track, enough to challenge the meek.

Speaking of surprises, I didn’t expect the acoustic guitar opening “Veil of Deception”.  Singer Mark Osegueda really gets to show off his pipes on this one, but it’s the guitar duo of Rob Cavestany and Gus Pepa that really impress with their ability and diversity.  Then, “The Organization” (also the name of their next Osegueda-less band) is bone-shaking fast and heavy.  There are still the slithering guitars and melodic vocals to sink your teeth into.  This is top notch metal.  Andy Galeon lays down some complicated beats for “Discontinued” on which he has a writing credit.  It’s Dennis Pepa’s funky bass that reminds me of where guys like Mike Muir were going with thrash.

I remember the ballad “A Room With a View” being played on MuchMusic in ’91, so it is familiar.  Ballads seemed to be working for bands like Metallica and Testament at the time, but it seems more fitting for a diverse album like Act III.  Layers of vocals make it special, as does the acoustic guitar solo.  “Stagnant” opens bright and slow, but shortly an avalanche of menacing guitars is upon us.  This transforms into a funky assault that sounds like 90’s stoner rock.  Then “EX-TC” is old-style screaming thrash, as is “Disturbing the Peace”.  The final track, “Falling Asleep” is anything but sleepy.  It returns to the chugging that works so well for head banging.

I understand now why Death Angel was so critically acclaimed back in the 80’s.  Their ability and musical intelligence was off the charts.  Too bad they were one of the bands that didn’t survive the 90’s.  I’m glad I had the chance to check out this thrash metal cornerstone.  The Devil’s metal indeed!

4/5 stars

All songs written by Rob Cavestany, except where noted.

  1. “Seemingly Endless Time” – 3:49
  2. “Stop” (Cavestany, Mark Osegueda) – 5:10
  3. “Veil of Deception” – 2:35
  4. “The Organization” (Cavestany, Andy Galeon) – 4:16
  5. “Discontinued” (Cavestany, Galeon, Gus Pepa, Dennis Pepa) – 5:50
  6. “A Room with a View” – 4:42
  7. “Stagnant” (Cavestany, Galeon) – 5:33
  8. “EX-TC” (Cavestany, Osegueda) – 3:06
  9. “Disturbing the Peace” – 3:53
  10. “Falling Asleep” – 5:54

Credits and art from Wikipedia.

#422: Sausagefest 2015 – The Complete Countdown (& some quick pics)
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Seb and LeBrain, this year’s videographers

RECORD STORE TALES MkII: Getting More Tale
#422: Sausagefest 2015 – The Complete Countdown

The annual trek to Sausagefest is centred upon the always epic Countdown.  There were many misadventures on the way to the Countdown, and after.  While I am sworn to abide by the credo “What happens at Sausagefest stays at Sausagefest,” I am also bound by my own nature as a storyteller.  Therefore, I can share with you a number of brief tidbits, hints, and insinuations.

Yes founder Chris Squire died only days before the Sausagefest countdown.  It was too late to include a tribute a Squire tribute into the countdown itself, so Tom and Uncle Meat sequenced about an hour of Squire’s best music to precede the actual countdown.  This was a promising hour, but upon hitting “play” on the laptop, it was immediately obvious that something was wrong.  We were only getting one channel.  Yes music, with its layers and wide stereo panning, turned out to be great music to test the four speakers.  Unfortunately it took almost all of the Squire-allotted time, seventeen men* and one record producer to figure out that all the muss was being caused by an RCA adapter somewhere.  We got two Squire songs, excellent as they were.

The Countdown this year was informally dubbed “The Greatest Songs of All Time”, because for the first time in years, the slate had been cleared and any and all songs were open for voting.  Because of this anything goes approach and some younger blood, we got to hear a lot of classic tunes that often are either overlooked or just not up for grabs.  I’m sure this was the first ever appearance of Boston on the countdown.  I can probably say the same for Foreigner.  These top ten hits are offset by more obscure favourites by Ian Thomas and UFO.

Now below, please analyse and enjoy the one and only OFFICIAL 2015 Sausagefest Countdown.  Every track was a winner.  I’ve highlighted songs I voted for (only two this year).

1 Battle Scar Max Webster/Rush
2 Shine on You Crazy Diamond^ Pink Floyd
3 Hallowed be Thy Name Iron Maiden
4 Working Man Rush
5 Sultans of Swing Dire Straits
6 La Villa Strangiato Rush
7 Eulogy for the Damned Orange Goblin
8 When the Levee Breaks Led Zeppelin
9 Natural Science Rush
10 A Day in the Life The Beatles/War mashup

^ The whole thing…parts I-IX.

Look at that majesty.  FOUR RUSH SONGS IN THE TOP TEN!

11 Fatso Forgetso Kyuss
12 Heaven and Hell Black Sabbath
13 Toronto Tontos Max Webster
14 Wish You Were Here Pink Floyd
15 Superstition Stevie Wonder
16 Rime of the Ancient Mariner Iron Maiden
17 Master of Puppets Metallica
18 End of my Daze Trouble
19 Papa Was a Rolling Stone The Temptations
20 The Trooper Iron Maiden
21 Ramble Tamble Creedence Clearwater Revival
22 War Pigs Black Sabbath
23 Penis Ground Groove Daddys
24 The Ocean Led Zeppelin
25 Stranglehold Ted Nugent
26 Sympathy for the Devil The Rolling Stones
27 Muffin Man Frank Zappa
28 Smokin’ Boston
29 Child in Time (Live ’72) Deep Purple
30 Aces High Iron Maiden
31 Into the Void Black Sabbath
32 25 or 6 to 4 Chicago
33 Machine Gun Jimi Hendrix/Band of Gypsies
34 Doctor Doctor UFO
35 Kashmir Led Zeppelin
36 Old Man Neil Young
37 Suite: Judy Blue Eyes CSNY
38 Illegal Smile John Prine
39 Testify Rage Against the Machine
40 Get Up Offa That Thing James Brown
41 Belzelboss Tenacious D
42 Emerald Thin Lizzy
43 Sweatleaf Black Sabbath
44 Tribute Tenacious D
45 Tres Brujas The Sword
46 I Black Sabbath
47 The Temples of Syrinx Rush
48 Space Oddity David Bowie
49 46 & 2 Tool


“Then I fuckin’ diddle-riddle-dee-doo.”

50 Monkberry Moon Delight Paul McCartney & Wings
51 39 Tenacious D
52 What is Hip? Tower of Power
53 Over the Hills and Far Away Led Zeppelin
54 The Mob Goes Wild Clutch
55 Better Living Through Chemistry Queens of the Stone Age
56 Mongoose Fu Manchu
57 Roadhouse Blues The Doors
58 Inside Looking Out Grand Funk Railroad
59 Hurt Johnny Cash
60 Don’t Stop Me Now Queen
61 Careful with that Axe Eugene Pink Floyd
62 The Chain Fleetwood Mac
63 Ophelia The Band
64 Jukebox Hero Foreigner
65 Fairies Wear Boots Black Sabbath
66 Where the Devil Don’t Stay Drive By Truckers
67 Fat Bottomed Girls Queen
68 Under Pressure Queen
69 Fools Overture Supertramp
70 The Pot Tool
71 Tempus Fugit Yes
72 Thunderstruck AC/DC
73 Green Eyed Lady Sugarloaf
74 Duke’s Travels Genesis
75 Red Hot Mama Funkadelic
76 Painted Ladies Ian Thomas
77 Down by the River Neil Young

Please note that double-shot of Queen, above!

Also note the presence of “Penis Ground” by the Groove Daddys (not to be confused with the Groove Daddies, or Groove Daddy).  This was a local trio fronted by guitarist and singer extraordinaire Rob Szabo.  I certainly didn’t expect anything that obscure making the list, considering the diversity of folks that attend.  To rank all the way up at #23?  That’s proof of the sheer quality of the music.  Indi enough for ya?

Once again, a huge thanks to Tom, Meat and everyone else for working so hard for us.  Thanks Craig Fee and Jeff Woods for your much-appreciated willingness to go above and beyond the call of duty.  And lastly thanks to Uncle Meat for being such a delightful travel-mate this year.  Enjoy some of these pictures from the weekend, official video still to follow!

The Setup:

How many ‘Festers does it take…
There are like two wires, Tom.
Supervisin’.

The Live Bands:

The Fest:

The Aftermath:

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* I didn’t take a head-count, but I swear if it wasn’t seventeen guys trying to fix the thing, it was close.  It doesn’t really matter because more wouldn’t have helped!

REVIEW: Queensryche – Take Cover (2007)

Scan_20150801 (4)QUEENSRYCHE – Take Cover (2007 Rhino)

As bad as things got at the end of the Tate era for Queensryche (cabaret, anyone?), Take Cover was a musical low.  Queensryche were busy in 2007, with a double live performance of both Mindcrime albums (Mindcrime at the Moore),  a double best-of (Sign of the Times featuring a new song called “Justified”), and Take Cover, a covers album.  Considering the number of releases in 2007 (double CDs no less), Take Cover looks all the less necessary.

The five members of Queensryche each chose some songs for the album, and you have to admit that most of these choices are pretty cool.  Where things go sideways is in the recording of them, and it usually comes down to Geoff Tate’s voice.  Floyd’s “Welcome to the Machine”, which opens the album, should have been a slam dunk.  The dark musical backbone is there, but Geoff’s shaky multi-layered vocals do not send shivers up the spine the way Gilmour’s did.  It’s nice that Geoff threw some of his trademark sax in here, and the solos (Michael Wilton and Mike Stone) are great.  The problem is the vocal and that’s a big problem.

“Heaven on Their Minds”, from Jesus Chris Superstar, was chosen by Mike Stone, who left the band after this album.  Musically this works, and I never would have guessed its origin just from its metallic riff.  Thumbs up for this one, no complaints about the singing.  CSNY’s “Almost Cut My Hair” is a dud though, and they should have left well enough alone. Following that is a flat “For What It’s Worth” (Buffalo Springfield), a double whammy of stinky renditions of hippy anthems.  Thanks Geoff, for picking those two….

When I spoke to Eddie “edbass” Jackson back in 2001, he told me “I love funk, I really like a really hard driving sound. I tend to focus more on the sonic end of it than the performance end.” That’s a great way to describe his take on the O’Jays “For the Love of Money”. Even Geoff’s sour singing fails to sink it, such is the relentless groove. Queen’s “Innuendo” is another brave choice. Long I have loved this Zeppelin-esque Queen classic. This masterwork of beauty, elegance and strength is rendered limp as a noodle by the vocal chords of Mr. Jeffrey Wayne Tate. This is painfully bad. It reminds me of Bad News’ version of “Bohemian Rhapsody”. Now my head hurts, and I must now do an ear-cleanse by playing the immaculate original as sung by Freddie Mercury. [Note: I’m not kidding, that’s exactly what I did! Here you go.]

From Freddie Mercury to Ronnie James Dio, there are some difficult vocalists here to cover. Right there are two of the greatest of all time, without question. Geoff struggles a little less with the Dio approach on “Neon Nights”. But he’s absolutely screwed on “Syncronicity II” by The Police. Scott Rockenfield, who I have always thought must have been a Stewart Copeland fan, picked this song. One of the things about the original was how effortlessly Sting sang it. He hit each note perfect and cleanly. Geoff is wavering all over the place, and it robs the song of all its biggest hooks.

Geoff Tate recovers on “Red Rain” by Peter Gabriel…oh man, what a song! Edbass shines on this one, as does Scotty Rock. “Red Rain” is one of the album highlights. Tate then indulges his every fantasy on “Odissea”, part of an Italian opera. It’s up to you whether you hit the skip button or not. Just keep in mind what Geoff Tate did to poor defenceless Freddie Mercury. He sings in Italian, so kudos for him for doing this, but the end result is an experiment that doesn’t need repeating. Finally, the live take of U2’s “Bullet the Blue Sky” is by far the best song. This is a recording from the Q2k era featuring Kelly Gray on guitar before he was replaced by Mike Stone. It’s a 10 minute extended workout complete with an epic Tate rant.  “Don’t step outside of that box!  Don’t step outside of that box!  It’s dangerous there…outside that box.”

As much as Take Cover is a slog to get through, “Bullet the Blue Sky” is arguably enough to make it worth it.

2/5 stars

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REVIEW: Deep Purple – Bombay Calling – Bombay Live ’95

BOMBAYDEEP PURPLE – Bombay Calling – Bombay Live ’95 (2003 iTunes)

There are very rare circumstances under which I will pay for a download from iTunes.  I’ve made my case for physical product here over the years many, many times.  When it’s a band that I obsessively collect, like Deep Purple, I make an exception.  Bombay Calling is an interesting live release.  It says “Official Bootleg” right there on the cover art, but I’m not really sure what constitutes an official bootleg anymore.  I look at this as the soundtrack to a DVD that Deep Purple released in 2000, also called Bombay Calling.  That’s essentially what this is — the audio to Bombay Calling, the DVD.  In contains the entire show.

This concert was recorded on April 18 1995, which eagle-eyed fans will realize is well before the Purpendicular album.  Bombay Calling was recorded not long after “the banjo player took a hike” and Purple carried on without Ritchie Blackmore.  Joe Satriani stepped in for a short while, but it was Dixie Dregs guitar maestro Steve Morse that took the Man in Black’s place permanently.  This concert was recorded at the very start of Morse’s tenure, and features a few songs they would drop from the set a year or two later.  It also features a brand new tune they were working on called “Perpendicular Waltz”, later changed to “The Purpendicular Waltz” on the album.

There is one earlier concert available from this period, which is Purple Sunshine in Ft. Lauderdale Florida, exactly two weeks prior.  That one is truly is an official bootleg, taken from audience sources and released on the 12 CD box set Collector’s Edition: The Bootleg Series 1984-2000.  The setlists are slightly different.  When they hit India for this concert, a new song called “Ken the Mechanic” (retitled “Ted the Mechanic”) was dropped, as was “Anyone’s Daughter”.  They were replaced by long time favourites “Maybe I’m a Leo” and “Space Truckin'” from Machine Head.

Special treats for the ears on Bombay Calling include Steve Morse’s incendiary soloing on “Anya” (which would be dropped from the set in 1996).  His feature solo leading into “Lazy” is also excellent, and of course very different from what Ritchie used to do.  Jon Lord’s keyboard solo is among the best I’ve heard, and even features a segue into “Soldier of Fortune” from Stormbringer.  The solo segments that Deep Purple did often allowed them to play snippets from songs from the David Coverdale period of the band, and this one was unexpected and brilliant.

I love a good, raw live performance captured on tape, and Deep Purple don’t muck around.  This one is kind of special, coming from that transitional period when Steve Morse was just getting his feet wet.  Considering how different he is from Ritchie Blackmore, this smooth switcheroo is quite remarkable.  The band had changed, but into something just as good.  How many other groups can make that claim?

3.5/5 stars

Since you can’t take a picture of a non-physical product, here are pictures of the 2 CD set that I burned from the iTunes download!

#421: First It Steals Your Mind, Then It Steals Your Soul

RECORD STORE TALES MkII: Getting More Tale
#421: First It Steals Your Mind, Then It Steals Your Soul

Pop music:  love it or hate it, it does exist!

I have found myself briefly flirting with popular hit songs from time to time, but I find that the rush goes away fast.  You can be totally into a new song, only to be bored with it after hearing it dozens of times over a week or two.  Then, on to the next thing.  This is nothing new, that’s pop music for you.  But why do modern-day pop songs lack longevity?  Whether it’s Ke$ha, Katy Perry, Beyonce or One Direction, their songs are hook-laden and catchy.  Yet there’s nothing about them that sticks with you for long.  People don’t really carry around a Beyonce track for life like they do with a Led Zeppelin number.  Why?

Pop songwriters always try to hit the biggest possible audience.  That’s what they are paid to do.  As such, a lot of pop music ends up sounding very “neutral”.   The songs are vaguely catchy and lyrically bland so as to appeal to “everyone”.   That doesn’t seem to be enough for a song to stick forever.  Rather than try and make a pop song interesting, producers would rather throw in whatever sounds, beats and hooks are “in” right now.  Rather than do something new, they go for something familiar.  That’s what the masses go for – songs that sound like songs they already like.  As long as it’s not much longer than three minutes….

I’m speaking very generally now.  I know there is pop music out there that defies the pigeonholes that people often want their music slotted in.  I’m not talking about those songs.  I’m talking about the same damn beats, same damn words, and the same damn melodies that you hear every day.

How does today’s pop music steal your mind and soul?  Below, find some reasons:

1. Today, pop songs trick you into thinking an artist can really write, play and sing. A look at the credits shows that 18 writers from Sweden wrote that song, and got sued by 7 different writers from America for stealing it.  A computer fixed every missed beat and note.  The song was almost completely untouched by human hands.

2. The lack of innovation and exploration in pop music leads to stagnation. Just copy, copy, copy.  Have a hit with an idea similar to someone else’s.  There’s very little new out there.  How can you expect your mind and musical taste to grow by listening to the same damn song every day?

3. Faceless performers don’t have much ability or personality compared to the golden days of the 60’s. Back then, you knew when it was Aretha singing.  Today, you have to use an app on your phone to see if that was Katy Perry or Demi Lovato.  Listen to them sing live – they do a low sultry voice, and then belt it out on the choruses, aided and abetted by computers.  Sure, Demi has lungs, but her voice gets pretty thin when she’s reaching for notes without assistance.  Thankfully this is usually covered up by the screaming crowds of teen girls.

4. We’re long past the days of people like Michael Jackson being the King of Pop. Jackson, a talented writer, worked with one of the best producers in the world, Quincy Jones.  Together they worked hard and played hard to create real pop music with actual soul.  Who is left in the world of pop of that stature and talent?  Surely not Justin Timberlake.  Timberlake has never written anything with the soul of “Billie Jean”, not that I have heard anyway.

5. Pop music and pop culture have become so intertwined that they have formed a complex web of stupidity. Remember when Britney Spears said, “I think we should just trust our president in every decision that he makes and we should just support that”?  Pop stars today are saying even dumber things.  Witness this zinger from Ariana Grande about “cow tit pus”:

“In America, almost everybody thinks you need to have meat for protein. Protein, protein, protein! And what’s in dairy? Calcium, calcium, calcium. It’s those kinds of proteins that latch onto the insides of your blood stream and make it easier for you to have a heart attack. Look, cows produce milk with nutrients for cows. Maybe that’s why Americans end up looking like cows! Ultimately, no one wants cow tit pus in their food, do they?”

And don’t even get me started on Biebs, the Little Turd from Stratford.

And these reasons, dear friends, are only some of the ways that modern pop music can steal your mind and then steal your soul.  Stick to the classics, and beware!  A mind is a terrible thing to waste.

REVIEW: Ratt – Out of the Cellar (1984)

Scan_20150801RATT – Out of the Cellar (1984 Atlantic)

Out of the Cellar was my first Ratt album, acquired in a trade from next door neighbour George.  Considering how big Ratt were at the time, I expected it to be better.  In the 80’s, I felt like Out of the Cellar was a handful of singles padded out by filler.  I haven’t played the whole album in years (at least five), so this review is coming from a fresh perspective.  Dusting off the CD, I note on the credits the name of producer Beau Hill — never one of my favourites.

One of the aforementioned singles, “Wanted Man”, opens the album on an up note.  The cowboy motif has been popular in hard rock at least since David Lee Roth wore buttless chaps.  Tough, slow and menacing is “Wanted Man”.  Everything about it is classic hard rock.  Finger-blurring solos, thick backing vocals (courtesy of Juan Crocier mostly), and a big chorus are all it takes in the world of Ratt.  “Wanted Man” has always been a high point from Out of the Cellar, and it remains just as cool today.

“You’re in Trouble” kinda smells funny, as rock songs with funky bass often do.  Great chorus, but the rest of the song fails to generate any sort of fist-pumping.  This is easily forgotten since the third track is the big one.  “Round and Round”…what is it about this song?  It’s still irresistible today.  Why?  Everything clicks.  It is the perfect formulation of Robbin’s riffing, Warren’s picking, and Steven’s sneer.  Bobby and Juan keep the pulse tough and punchy.  It’s just one of those magical songs from that era that still has the goods.

Moving on, “In Your Direction” is suitable for an album track.  Ratt referred to their sound as “Ratt N’ Roll”, because according to them, it was their own sound unlike other bands.  That may be so, but unfortunately Ratt N’ Roll is pretty limited as far as genres go.  If you cross “Wanted Man” with “You’re In Trouble”, you get something like “In Your Direction”.  Ratt albums have always suffered from too many soundalike songs.  Smoking solo though — very Eddie-like.  “She Wants Money” is pretty good.  These old melodies are coming back, as are old memories.  “She Wants Money” is one of the strongest non-singles on Out of the Cellar.

Frustratingly, “Lack of Communication” is a good song that lacks a good chorus.  “Lack of communication, back off!”  Something’s not clicking there, which is too bad because the rest of the song was really decent.  What we need now is another single.  “Back For More” was always outstanding for a Ratt song. The acoustic intro was the only soft moment, on an album composed 100% of rockers. “Back For More” is punchy and memorable, a pretty great example of Ratt N’ Roll because it doesn’t sound too much like the other songs.

Stormy guitars and cool Pearcy vocals keep “The Morning After” rocking ’til dawn. “I’m Insane” ain’t too bad, another nondescript pedal-to-the-metal Ratt N’ Roller. “Scene of the Crime” is another fairless faceless Ratt song, which closes the album. It’s a fairly limp ending, and there’s nothing about the production that really aids or abets the album.

Listening to Out of the Cellar today is much the same as it was in the 80’s. It has enough high points to give credit where credit is due, but given the chance to listen to it or a “best of” CD, you’re going to go with the compilation. It’s too bad Ratt couldn’t have tightened up some of these songs a bit first, in the writing stage.

3/5 stars

WTF Comments: Joakim Larsson edition

WTF Comments III:  Joakim Larsson edition

The world of Rock and Roll fandom is filled with many varieties:  The Uber Fan who owns everything, the Casual Fan who owns what they want, and the Obsessed Fan.   They have a complete set of Tico Torres’ toe nails, and a collection of restraining orders against them.  These are just some examples.  There are many more fan types, across every genre of music.  While I’m usually more interested in the collections of the Uber Fan, sometimes the Obsessed can provide hours of entertaining befuddlement.

Based on limited exposure to one of these categories, we at LeBrain HQ have scientifically determined that the rock band Europe have an inordinate amount of Obsessed Fans.  What it is specifically that attracts them to the authors of “Let the Good Times Rock” and “Cherokee”, Trump only knows.  But there is a particularly vehement subsect of the obsessed focusing specifically on their lead singer Joey Tempest, aka Rolf Magnus Joakim Larsson (he of the well-coifed head).  We have first-hand evidence of this, presented below.

 

Our first encounter with an Obsessed Tempest Fan came with someone called “Carieann”, in June.  “Carieann” insisted that Joey Tempest was not really Joey Tempest.  An excerpt from her lengthy comment:

“This is for all those who say that the band Europe is still great or that still make great albums – STOP writing such a shocking nonsenses and stupidities!! All last albums are false and absolutely horrible and this fake band has nothing in common with the real group Europe from the 80’s, now they make fake records, fake and lifeless music without a soul, fake “shows”, all is fake and false and that’s because since the middle of 1989 the real Joey Tempest is not in this band and Joey was truly the only one who has made this group huge with his talents, awesomeness and uniqueness!! And since 26 years there’s such a horrible imposter and liar in this “group”, that’s not the real Joey Tempest!! The real Joey Tempest had to leave the group because of this horrible liar!! It’s so obvious and so clear to see that it’s just someone different (unless you’re blind and deaf, like bunch of ignorants).”

OK, then.  But things took on a religious slant:

“This horrid demon also released solo albums under the name of Joey, still insolently pretending to be Joey Tempest!!! And this disgusting, hideous and rude imposter has nothing in common with the real Joey Tempest, Europe’s vocalist in 1982-1989, not only his looks and sound of voice are completely different but also behaviour, eyes, facial features, personality and absolutely everything!! And the excuse that it could be because the years have passed, it’s just such a stupid and lame excuse!!! This is just a totally different person!! It’s not even a person, he acts like some kind of a devil!! He isn’t even real Joey’ Tempest’s look-alike and never, ever will be like Joey!!! […] There’s not even comparison between him and the real Joey Tempest!! This demonic devil only cares about himself, this whole falsity and not about the “fans”, his main and the only goal is to make fools of as many people as possible to still gain more and more as long as it’s possible undeservedly and you all brainless idiots still help him to do this!!!”

Even though we are all “brainless idiots”, some Googling revealed that “Carieann” had been dumping steaming piles of this conspiracy theory all over the web since 2014.

JOEY THEN NOW

Always looking to prod the grizzly, we posted a parody of a Europe review that lampooned “Carieann’s” comments.  This parody review was loaded with over-the-top statements that served to underline just how weird this conspiracy theory is.  I wish I came up with all of these statements myself, but it was a collaborative effort, with a Godlike genius of the written word who not only refuses to be identified, but has now hired 24 hour security for his premises.  Here are some excerpts from that parody review, which we felt was a fairly obvious pastiche.

  • “Without Joey’s talent and unique abilities, the band is a lost joke; twisted and sad – imagine, it would be like Deep Purple without Nick Simper – just unthinkable!”
  • “Joey would NEVER let his hair go flat like that! Wake up people!”
  • “I have proof written on the back of a beer mat that in 1994 Matt Groening was forced to rewrite a Futurama episode that obliquely referenced the scandal. “

The article was credited to author “Jesse A. Jones” (a portmanteau of noted conspiracy theorists Jesse Ventura and Alex Jones), who is “Professor Emeritus of Applied Conspiracy at the University of Punkeydoodles Corners and author of ‘Paul is Dead: The Amazing Beatles Conspiracy’, ‘Lennon Lives! Why John Isn’t Dead’ and ‘George! Satan’s Favourite Beatle’.”  Not to put too fine a point on it, but we felt this was a pretty obvious joke, especially with credits like those.

All a bit of an innocent giggle; some harmless fun, yes?  Not where the Obsessed Tempest Fans come in!  Several weeks after posting, this parody review was hit with comments from…Joey Tempest’s wife “Miranda” and her friends “Billy” and “Doreen”?!  What is this?!  More disgruntled minor celeb encounters to add to my collection?

At first, I took it all at face value, until I actually looked into Joey’s marital status, which was when it all got a little bit strange.  All sources state that his wife is named Lisa Worthington, not “Miranda Larrson”.  In fact a little digging revealed even more:  accusations that “Miranda” had been making the rounds online “claiming” to be Joey’s wife.  Then I found a slew of Youtube videos by Miranda:  low quality “duets”with Europe songs straight from the album, claiming to be by “Joey and Miranda”.

Come on; we’ve all done it, haven’t we?   I once spent the whole summer of ’90 pretending to be married to Lita Ford.

Read the whole thing unfolding for yourself.  Follow the links below directly for the best comments by Miranda and her friends, “Billy Low” and “All-Caps Doreen” (aka “Caps-Lock Doreen”).    If you’d rather read the whole thing from start to finish, then hit up the first comment from “Doreen” for the beginning of this…discussion. (?)  Make a coffee, sit down and enjoy!

Doreen:  “NEVER READ SO MUCH RUBBISH IN MY LIFE! ANYONE WHO BELIEVES THIS NEEDS TO GET A REALITY-CHECK…”

Miranda Larrson: “Ok…where to begin…must post fast since I’m sure the guys in white coats coming for ya…”

Billy:  “WHAT A LOT OF NONSENSE! ARE YOU FOR REAL? I AM A PERSONAL FRIEND OF JOAKIM LARSSON’S…”

Doreen:  “I FORGOT TO SAY THAT I AM A PERSONAL FRIEND OF JOAKIM LARSSON…”

Doreen:  “IF THIS IS A JOKE, I DO NOT FIND IT AMUSING. NEITHER DO JOEY AND HIS WIFE…”

Billy:  “You read what Joey’s wife has said on here. I am a personal friend of hers too…”

 

After intensive study (at the University of Google), we have concluded that not only does Joey Tempest have at least one fan who think he’s not really Joey Tempest (a mind-boggler in itself), but he also boasts deluded followers who think he’s married to them!  At the very best, even if we took Miranda’s claims purely at face value, and assumed she is indeed the new Mrs. Larrson, then Joey Tempest has friends who have serious problems with reading and comprehension.  The entire thing just went completely over their heads.  That’s the best-case scenario here.  That is the sunniest possible outlook.

The life of a rock star!  We only see the glamorous side, but then you have this dark side dealing with obsession.  Or, as the great man (the real Joey, I mean) sang on “Love Chaser”:

Someone’s at your door tonight,
Someone wants your love,
Is it real or just imagination?

(Posted from our secret underground bunker, Nunavut Canada.)

REVIEW: Max Webster – High Class in Borrowed Shoes (1977)

Scan_20150730MAX WEBSTER – High Class in Borrowed Shoes (1977 Anthem)

It’s only the second Max Webster album, but the band were so tight and perfect that they got three radio classics off it.  “Diamonds Diamonds”, “Gravity” and the title track are all three radio staples, and “On the Road” a live classic that Kim Mitchell occasionally plays unplugged.  Every fan has a favourite Max album, and I think I probably know a couple who would put High Class in Borrowed Shoes as numero uno.

The album opens with the impressive “High Class in Borrowed Shoes”, a blaster that sounds to me like a Canadian Van Halen!  Max had tamed some of their wackier tendencies (“Toronto Tontos”, anyone?) and focussed their chops.  Not that the new Max (now featuring legendary drummer Gary McCracken) was normal by any definition.  Just listen to the lullaby-like “Diamonds Diamonds”.  Great song, but very different for a rock band.  Its dreamlike mood is heightened by the surreal lyrics by Pye Dubois.  Not to mention there are only six lines to the words!

“Gravity” would make my top five Max tracks in a heartbeat.  “What do I know?  I sat under a cloud.  I looked up, afraid to look down.”  Kim sounds like a little boy speaking the words, to great effect.  The chorus is a big one, backed by a Kim’s riffing.  I have no idea what this song is about, but to me the line “Forget that fear of gravity, get a little savagery in your life,” says everything.  Don’t be afraid to take chances.  As Pye’s friend Neil Peart once said, just roll the bones.  That’s what it means to me, anyway.

Proving he has always been capable of tender ballads, “Words to Words” is one of Kim Mitchell’s first.  The keyboards of Terry Watkinson keep it just a little left of center, but Kim’s acoustic work is impeccable and excellent.   Pye Dubois’ lyrics are magical and stirring.  It’s hard to overstate just how quality this song is.  However ballads are usually best followed by scorchers, and that’s “America’s Veins”.  Killer solos, smoking drums, and a chorus built for the concert stage: it’s here in one complete package.

“Oh War!” is an incredible monument of rock.  AC/DC did a song with a similar vibe called “Little Lover”, but “Oh War!” is a completely different animal.  The gonzo solos are more in the “Z” section of the rock aisle, as in “Zappa”.   And check out the words!  “‘Cause I say fuck you instead of thank you, your choice under your breath.”  Yes, that’s what Uncle Kim, Canada’s favourite king of the summertime, just said!  OK, so it wasn’t going to get on the radio with those words…but damn, it should have been.  This song could have been almost as big as “Battle Scar” had it been.

I have a tape here of Kim Mitchell doing “On the Road” live in the MuchMusic studios, acoustically, on their Intimate and Interactive show.  This is what you might call “campfire rock”, but that sells it far too short.  “On the Road” is more than a song that would sound good played live around a fire, it has genuine soul that you can feel.  It’s an incredible song, and once again, I wonder why Max Webster wasn’t friggin’ huge.  “Rain Child” is next in line, which I would describe as a slow burner.  Terry Watkinson’s keys take center stage, never intruding.  “Rain Child” is a classic album track, and perfect for winding down the album.

IMG_20150730_182836

Max Webster went mad on the last track, “In Context of the Moon”.  This is the second of four “Moon” songs on the first four records:  “Coming Off the Moon”, “Beyond the Moon”, and “Moon Voices” are the others.  “In Context” can’t be described easily, because it spans many styles and tempos in just five measly minutes!  How?!  You have to play this one a few times just to get everything that is happening.  It’s certainly one of the most challenging pieces of music Max have recorded.  The four musicians must have rehearsed the shit out of this one.  Anyway, at all times, it smokes.  Whether it’s the bright intro guitars, or the metal riffs that follow them, or the sheer madness (including bass solo) that ensues, “In Context of the Moon” is always riveting.  It’s just non-stop even though by the time you get to the end of it, you’ll wonder how you got there!

Final note:  My good buddy T-Rev, who has guest written here a couple times before, met Gary McCracken after he moved to Sarnia.  He was working at Fastenal when in came a guy to pick up an “order for Gary McCracken.”  T-Rev pondered a bit before enquiring, “I hope you don’t mind me asking, but were in a band called Max Webster?”  Yes, he had.  It was that Gary McCracken, and he was cool.  I love little stories like that.  Gary McCracken was Trevor’s biggest influence as a young drummer!

Popoff's awesome book

Popoff’s awesome book

There is nothing more to be said in just a single review.   For the whole enchilada, get the book from martinpopoff.com!  And be sure to get High Class in Borrowed Shoes for your collection.

5/5 stars