Part 152: Carnival of Lost Souls

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RECORD STORE TALES Part 152: Β Carnival of Lost Souls

The Year: Β 1996

The Place: Β Dr. Disc, Hamilton Ontario

The Guilty Party: Β Me

Remember when the original Kiss reunited back in ’96? Β It was a huge deal. Β Everybody was talking about it. Β What very few people were talking about was the studio album that the previous Kiss lineup (with Eric Singer and Bruce Kulick) had completed prior to the reunion. Β That album,Β Carnival of Souls, was shelved to avoid confusion.

It was, however, leaked. Β Or, at least most of it was. Β It revealed a new, grungier Kiss ready to take on the likes of Alice in Chains and Soundgarden. Β Not a bad album in fact, and some songs such as “Hate” and “In My Head” were downright vicious. Β A buddy of mine, Len Labelle, hooked me up with a poor-sounding cassette. Β It was better than nothing.

Both Gene and Paul pooh-poohed the idea of a release. Β You’d read things like, “We don’t know when it’s coming out,” or “We have no plans to release it right now.” Β But I was digging that tape and I wanted a CD, dammit!

T-Rev, Tom and myself were at a record show in Hamilton, and we stopped at a local Dr. Disc. Β I went over to the Kiss section. Β I saw two discs, both at $30 staring me in the face: Β the ultra rare Japanese import Chikara, a greatest hits album, and a bootleg copy of Carnival of Souls…

I had a limited budget and could only buy one. Β I chose Carnival of Souls. Β I’ve never seen a copy of Chikara again. Β And Kiss officially issued Carnival 9 months later, rendering my bootleg obselete. Β I can’t give it away, today.

It was a bad call, Ripley! Β Bad call!

So what about this bootleg that I bought? Β Well, it has a few notable features.

  1. The title is wrong. Β The title on the bootleg is Carnival of Lost Souls.
  2. The wrong lineup is on the front and back covers. Β They show the original Kiss, in makeup.
  3. Even though it says it’s “the complete 11 track version” on the front cover, Carnival of Souls has 12 tracks. Β Missing is “I Walk Alone”, the lone Bruce Kulick lead vocal.
  4. The songs are in the wrong order, and most have the wrong titles.

For example:

  • “Hate” = “Hate (Is What I Am)”
  • “Master & Slave” = “Tell Me”
  • “Rain” = “I Think It’s Gonna Rain (Down On Me)”
  • “It Never Goes Away” = “It Never Ends”
  • “In the Mirror” = “(Take A Look) In the Mirror”
  • “I Confess” = “You Confess”

At best, this is now just a weird oddity that sits in my closet, unlistened to, unwanted, unloved, for the rest of eternity. Β There’s $30 I’ll never get back again. Β Yeah, like I said, it was a bad call!

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REVIEW: Iron Maiden – “The Reincarnation of Benjamin Breeg” / “Different World” singles

Part 40 of my series of Iron Maiden reviews!

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IRON MAIDENΒ – “The Reincarnation of Benjamin Breeg” / “Different World”Β (CD, vinyl, DVD, download singles)

There were a lot of B-sides made available for A Matter of Life and Death, so let’s talk about ’em all, shall we? Β It’s the last time we’ll have a chance to do so, as since this time Maiden haven’t released any B-sides at all.

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“The Reincarnation of Benjamin Breeg”Β (CD, 10″ vinyl)

This awesome song was made available in two formats. Β Both had BBC Legends sessions. Β The CD has a great version of “Hallowed By That Name”, which is also the iTunes bonus track. Β If you’re like me, no doubt you prefer a physical format to a bunch of 1’s and 0’s floating invisibly on your hard drive, yes? Β  If that is indeed the case, then the CD single is where it’s at, and it’s a corker. Β I love the sound of the three guitars on this one. Β Not one, but two playing the melody, with one playing the rhythm.

There’s also a beautiful 10″ vinyl, with a sticker. Β Clear 10″ vinyl, very cool. Β The vinyl had two more songs from this session: Β “The Trooper” and “Run to the Hills”. Β Now, if you’ve been following along, then you’re already aware there are plenty of live versions of all three of these tracks on the various Maiden live albums, not to mention previous B-sides, and the Eddie’s Archive box. Β What’s the difference? Β Well, if you want all the power and breakneck energy of a Maiden live performance without crowd noise, this is the way to hear it. Β It’s live in the studio.

CD

  1. “The Reincarnation of Benjamin Breeg”
  2. “Hallowed Be That Name” (Radio 1 ‘Legends’ Session)

10″ vinyl

A. “The Reincarnation of Benjamin Breeg”
B1. “The Trooper”Β (Radio 1 ‘Legends’ Session)
B2. “Run to the Hills”Β (Radio 1 ‘Legends’ Session)

5/5 stars

“Different World” (US CD single, UK CD single, DVD single, 7″ single,Β download)

This is where things start getting a little crazy. Β Yes, you had to buy five different formats to get all the tracks. Β Incredible. Β It’s stuff like this that makes me miss the simpler old days of collecting! Β Let’s go through these, one by one.

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US CD

This one was redundant if you already own the “Benjamin Breeg” singles. Β This one repeats “The Trooper” and “Hallowed” from that single, leaving “Run To The Hills” as a vinyl exlusive.

  1. “Different World”
  2. “Hallowed Be That Name”Β (Radio 1 ‘Legends’ Session)
  3. “The Trooper”Β (Radio 1 ‘Legends’ Session)

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UK CD

Europe had their own exclusive CD B-side, however.

  1. “Different World”
  2. “Iron Maiden” (Live in Copenhagen on the A Matter of Life and Death tour)

So, yes, I shelled out for a live version of a song that I already have numerous live versions of! Β (4 versions on the BBC Archives album alone!) Β Life of a collector. Β How does it differ from other live versions? Β Shit, I don’t know.

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DVD single

DVD singles seemed to be a passing fad, somewhat. Β I hope so anyway. Β I don’t like ’em. Β I don’t see the point of 1) putting out a single that you can’t play in some countries due to region codes, and 2) putting out an audio track on a video format. Β This being Maiden though, I made sure I bought this, from the UK Amazon site.

  1. “Different World”
  2. “The Reincarnation of Benjamin Breeg”Β (Live in Copenhagen on theΒ A Matter of Life and DeathΒ tour)
  3. “Hocus Pocus”

At least the music has some value to it! Β A live version of “Benjamin Breeg”, the first and thus far only live release of that song. Β And as per Maiden’s usual high standards, it’s freaking great.

But the real cool thing is “Hocus Pocus”, a cover of, yes, the song by Focus! Β Lead vocals…sort of…are by Nicko. Β No yodeling though. Β Just Nicko’s usual nonsensical ramblings in the background! Worth having for sure, but as a cover…what’s the point without the yodeling? Β As a cover version, it’s disappointing. Β Nicko yodeling? Β That would have been awesome.

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7″ single

A picture disc, and a sweet looking one at that, this one has a live version of “Fear of the Dark”.

A. “Different World”
B. “Fear of the Dark” (Live in Copenhagen on theΒ A Matter of Life and DeathΒ tour)

Once again, it’s a B-side that we already have lots of live versions of, nothing wrong with it, but nothing especially different either.

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mp3 download single

  1. Β “Different World” (Live inΒ Aalborg on theΒ A Matter of Life and DeathΒ tour)
  2. “Interview with Steve Harris onΒ A Matter of Life and Death”

And another brand new live track! Β Once again, this one has yet to be released on any live albums, so it truly is an exclusive. Β It was available via the official Maiden site. Β It’s cool to hear Steve and Adrian joining Bruce on the chorus, it sounds great.

The interview with Steve, 10 minutes long, I do not have. Β Interviews are not high on my priority list for collecting, and it is no longer available. Β It was only made available to those who pre-ordered the mp3 single, which I did not do. Β There was also an interview disc made available with the Eddie’s Head box set, which I do not have. Β Not a big deal to me, the music has always been what I’ve aimed to collect.

4.5/5 stars

Most Anticipated New Releases of 2013 (?)

I was having an offline discussion with the mightyΒ Heavy Metal OverloRdΒ andΒ The CD WhispererΒ about the albums we’re most excited about in 2013.

It’s easy to think back just one year and remember how we couldn’t wait to see if the new Van Halen would be a triumph or disaster. Β Now it’s the end of the year once again, and as long as the world doesn’t end on December 21, there are some cool releases lined up for the new year.

What are you most excited for? Β Is there something in particular that you KNOW you’ll be buying before you hear a single note?

I have five must-buys in 2013. Β Here’s my list.

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5. QUEENSRYCHE

This could end up being a total disaster. Β Replacing a beloved (albeit knife-weilding) original frontman with a relative unknown is a huge risk. Β Kudos to the band for trying, I’ll play along. Β The key will be to walk a fine line between avoiding a retread of the past, and reminding fans how good they used to be. Β Not an easy task. Β Will Todd La Torre be up for it? Β Time will tell.

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4. MOTLEY CRUE

Nikki has said the band is writing music to follow the lacklustre singleΒ “Sex”. Β They’ve got tour dates with Kiss lined up in the new year. Β I’ll admit I’m actually not that excited about a new Motley release, but I have been faithfully following this band through ups and downs through their entire career. Β I even bought New Tattoo!

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3. VOIVOD – Target Earth

This one has a confirmed release date of January 22. Β Although some may say that the idea of a new Voivod album without the late guitarist Piggy isΒ sacrilege, life goes on. Β This is the first album in over two decades with Blackie on bass. Β From what I’ve heard of the first single,Β “Kluskap O’Kom”, it does sound like Voivod. Β I’ll be supporting the boys in 2013, count on reading my review in the new year.

Sabbath Logo

2. BLACK SABBATH

Some might say that the idea of an “original” Sabbath album without Bill Ward is sacrilege! Β Hell, I might be one of them! Β But I love this band, and I have to have faith that the combined might of Sabbath plus Rick Rubin will produce something worthwhile. Β Will “Scary Dreams” be on there? Β I sure hope so. Β First album with Tommy Clufetos on drums, a much more metronomic drummer, so I wonder if Sabbath can capture that loose vibe of the precious first 8.

Purple

1. DEEP PURPLE

Confirmed for an April 26 release. Β Confirmed that Bob Ezrin is producing. Β Confirmed song titles: Β β€œOut Of Hand,” β€œHell To Pay,” β€œWeirdistan,” β€œUncommon Man” and β€œAbove and Beyond.” Β “Above and Beyond” is a tribute to late organist Jon Lord, who passed away far too soon. Β “Weirdistan”? Β I love it. Β That title can only come from Ian Gillan. Β Astoundingly this is the fifth album with Steve Morse and third with Don Airey. Β And some said they’d never last without Blackmore! Β I will most definitely be pre-ordering whatever cool editions the band has lined up.

What are you psyched about in the new year? Β I want to hear from you.

REVIEW: The Hellacopters – Disappointment Blues (EP)

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THE HELLACOPTERS –Β Disappointment Blues (1998 EP, Augogo)

I don’t know too much about this EP, but when I found it at my local record slinger for $6.99 (plus 20% off, sweet!) I had to snap it up. Β I only have three other Hellacopters albums: on vinyl,Β Grande Rock and Payin’ the Dues. Β On CD, the more polished and streamlined By the Grace of God. Β Finding a Hellacopters EP for under $6 was a no-brainer.

Disappointment Blues seems to compile a five rare non-album singles and compilation tracks, with two new songs (“Ferrytale” and “455 SD”). Β It seems to be designed for the Australian market as itΒ advertisesΒ several 1998 Aussie tour dates inside.

It’s another raw, high-energy rock n’ roll batch of songs, not too different from Grande Rock or Payin’ the Dues. Β  In the liner notes, the band refers to their sound as “hot action rock”. Β Sounds good to me! Β The tempos are fast and falling apart at the seams. Β The riffs are early Kiss on speed, the solos pure rock n’ roll. Β The songs meld together in the memory like one marathon tune with a little breathing space between sections. Β Again, much like Grande Rock or Payin’ the Dues. Β The bassline on “Speedfreak” is taken from the Lemmy Kilmister book of licks, the song itself could have been on any Motorhead disc.

Best song: Β the title track, which has a little more emphasis on melody and is totally memorable.

Best band member: Β the piano player because he goes by the name of Boba Fett!

4/5 stars

REVIEW: Iron Maiden – A Matter of Life and Death (2006 CD/DVD)

Part 39 of my series of Iron Maiden reviews!

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IRON MAIDENΒ – A Matter of Life and Death (2006 CD/DVD)

“Majestic” is the best word I can think of to describe A Matter of Life and Death, the 14th studio album by Iron Maiden (and 3rd of the “reunion era). That, and “classic”! This truly is classic Maiden: Most songs running between 7 and 9 minutes long, recorded virtually live off the floor, raw and epic. I truly believe that this represents the absolute peak of Maiden’s creativity. While not a concept album like Seventh Son, it does indeed follow themes: war, religion, humanity.

Anybody who thought Dance of Death sounded tired had better get ready to be blown away by a revitalized band. This is the best album of the reunion era, my favourite from the sextet period, and a shining moment in the Maiden canon. Β 10 songs, over an hour of music. Β If you’re not a fan of long-winded Maiden, then perhaps this one’s not for you.

While “Different World” starts the show in a fast and furious way, similar to “Wildest Dreams” from Dance of Death, this is no re-tread. This time, melody is at the forefront, especially when Bruce lets rip in the chorus. Β To boot, there’s a great dual guitar solo before Adrian (the master of melody) takes one of his own. Β This one was written by Steve Harris and Adrian Smith, which almost always proves to be a ferocious, melodious combination. Β But it is also the shortest number on the album, and not in any way indicative of the challenging songs to come!

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As if the opening was not good enough, “These Colours Don’t Run” is next. Β Going through multiple tempos, from that slow-burn Maiden opening that they’d become known for, to a pounding march, this is another winner. Β It is a seven minute epic with many changes, never getting dull, dueling guitars and complex rhythms, always sounding like Iron Maiden. Β Producer Kevin Shirley says that Bruce laid down all his vocals live off the floor. Β If that’s the case, it explains why there is so much magic in his voice. Β This is incredible. Β The lyrics reflect an older, wiser Maiden. Β No longer satisfied with simple war epics, there is a sadness here now.

Far away from the land of our birth
We fly a flag in some foreign earth
We sailed away like our fathers before
These colours don’t run from cold bloody war

“These Colours”, and the next song, “Brighter Than A Thousand Suns” were written by the triumvirate of Bruce, Steve and Adrian, which has produced so many Maiden classics in the past. Β The lyrics for “Thousand Suns” reflects religion, war and the atomic bomb. Β I’m a big fan of Bruce’s lyrics. Β There is even a subtle reference to Robert Oppenheimer:

Whatever would Robert have said to his God?
About how he made war with the sun
E equals MC squared, you can’t relate
How we made God with our hands

This song is not as immediate as the first two, and the chorus still has that repetition that had plagued previous albums, but its melodic quality and epic solos allow it to rise above. Β It’s 9 minutes long, probably could have been shorter, but aside from a couple repeated lines of chorus, I don’t know what I would cut. Β I like it all.

A shorter one (but still over 5 minutes), “The Pilgrim”, was written by Steve and Janick. Β Religion and war are the themes here, seen through the eyes of Steve. Β Musically it starts with a stomp, similar to a section of “Afraid to Shoot Strangers”, but then they release the brake and accelerate, culminating into another melodic chorus. Β Short songs like this help balance the longer material, although the previous songs are superior.

“The Longest Day” begins ominously, like a landing craft gliding quietly through the water. Β Once again, Steve, Adrian and Bruce have written a war classic. Β Something about Bruce’s lyrics, they’re never simple. Β They always have layers to them, and “The Longest Day” is like that. Β He spits the words out like a rifle, and the song is spellbinding for its entire 8 minute length, guitar harmonies intertwining with Nicko’s relentless war march. Β And that ends side one.

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“Out of the Shadows” begins side two on a somewhat mellow note, acoustic guitars mixed with electrics, and a slower tempo. Β Bruce wrote this one with Steve, a rare pairing. Β It is probably a good thing to sequence a slow song somewhere in here, as the relentless pounding of the previous five may well have left your brain nothing but mush. Β Fortunately there is an epic chorus here to keep us firmly in Maiden-land.

And oh-my-God, if you happened to sleep through “Out of the Shadows”, then Benjamin Breeg has arrived to wake you from your slumber! Β I’ll say it again: Β the rare occasions that Dave Murray writes a song, it usually produces gold. Β “The Reincarnation of Benjamin Breeg” is a monstrous epic, and even though it starts slow, that riff will make the dead rise from their graves. Β “Benjamin Breeg” is certainly one of the most immediate songs on the album, no mean feat for a song that is 7 1/2 minutes long! Β That time goes by in a blur so quickly, you’ll want to hit the back button on your player of choice and see what you may have missed. Β Awesome song, and a very brave choice as first single. Β There is no question: Β This one would make any Iron Maiden mix tape that I put together, hands down.

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And as if that wasn’t enough, almost 10 minutes of “For the Greater Good of God” follows. Β Another condemnation of the combination of religion and war, “For the Greater Good of God” is the only song written solely by Steve. Β That too is a rare thing, as in the past he usually provides half an album on his own. Β A Matter of Life and Death truly is a collaborative effort. Β  Twisting and turning through many sections, light and shade, this song too would fight for space on any Maiden mix CD that I make. Β I have heard criticism that its flaw is Steve trying to cram too many syllables into one line during the choruses. Β After a few listens, you don’t really notice anymore.

If you still have any life left in you after that pummeling, then prepare to meet the “Lord of Light”. Β Yet another Smith/Dickinson/Harris composition, it too exceeds 7 minutes. Β Starting quietly, it soon turns into a relentless pummeling, the three guitars behaving as one, Bruce soaring overtop. Β Nicko and Steve drive the whole Beast forward, this is probably the heaviest song in many respects, with a great chorus and many changes in tempo.

And finally, “The Legacy”. Β Almost 10 minutes long, “The Legacy” is very different for Maiden. Β It is a Steve/Janick composition, mellow, and lyrically devastating.

Sent off to war to play little games
And on their return, can’t name no names
Some strange yellow gas
Has played with their minds
Has reddened their eyes, removed all the lies

As if the acoustic “Journeyman” from the last album injected a new dose of courage into the band, “The Legacy” is a daring way to end an album this heavy. Β It begins acoustically and takes a little while to start cooking. Β  When it does kick into gear, it is a relentless rhythm, and a total triumph. Β One of Maiden’s more challenging but rewarding epics.

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The sound of this album is the perfect mix of heavy and raw with just enough polish. The sound straight from the mix was so hot, the band and Kevin Shirley chose not to master this album. Β The CD on the shelves is straight from the mixing desk, an unusual choice in mainstream music. Β I can’t name another album that wasn’t mastered! Β But the sound is perfect, I can’t fault this choice. Β It has an immediate, lively, vital sound. Β Certainly Bruce’s vocals are a highlight, and if they were live off the floor then more power to him.

(Hey, what happens when they eventually remaster the Maiden catalogue? Β What will they call this album? Β Just “mastered”?)

As far as the direction goes, the tempos are more “march” and less “gallop”, and that’s fine. Β It’s not about repeating the past, it’s about making a great heavy metal album, and Maiden have done that. Β Did I miss “the gallop” on this album? Β No more than I did on previous Maiden platters like Brave New World. Β The album is riff laden, complex, and layered. Β You can’t “get” it in just a couple listens. A Matter of Life and Death demands that you devote a great deal of time to it, but when you do, it will pay you back a hundred fold.

Even the cover art is a vast improvement over Dance of Death. Even though Eddie is in the background this time, it’s a great piece of art, by Tim Bradstreet with Grant Goleash. Β It is evocative of the music and lyrics, and just a great picture to look at.

iTunes offered a bonus track, a live version of “Hallowed Be Thy Name”, but it is available on some of the singles that we’llΒ talk about later. Β Stay tuned and we’ll discuss all the bonus tracks and B-sides. Β There is also a bonus DVD, a documentary on the making of the album. Β Included is the “Benjamin Breeg” video, a photo gallery, and an in-studio performance of “Different World”.

In summation, I believe that A Matter of Life and Death is the greatest album of reunion era Maiden. Β I also believe it to be their best album since Seventh Son, perhaps even surpassing that lofty masterpiece in some respects.

5/5 stars

Part 151: 24kt KISS…cheap at twice the price

RECORD STORE TALES Part 151:

24kt KISS…cheap at twice the price

Spring, 1998. Β Saturday. Β A rare day off.

I was out with a friend named Shannon. Β Me being the geek that I am, I thought it would be a good idea to take Shannon to a comic book store. Β So I did. Β Off we went to uptown Waterloo, to my favourite comic book store in the whole universe, Carry On Books.

The owner, Andy, warmly welcomed us and immediately started trying to sell me some Star Trek goods. Β I said, “Not today, Andy. Β Do you have anything Kiss?”

He did. Β He had this Kiss 24kt gold-plated framed Destroyer CD. Β It was $250. Β But he was willing to sell it to me for $200 if I paid cash.

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Sure, why not. Β Sold.

Shannon and I ran down to the cash machine, and I eagerly inserted my card. Β Selected the dollar amount. Β Waited. Β And waited. Β And waited. Β The machine spat out my card, and a statement saying I’d taken the money out. Β But no money emerged from the machine!

I stood there for a moment before saying, “Shannon, is it just me, or did no money come out?”

I was ripped off by a cash machine!

I repeated the transaction, this time getting the money, but my bank account was lighter by twice the amount!

Shit!

I went back to Andy’s store, told him the tale, bought the Kiss plaque, and went into the bank to get my missing money back. Β Turns out I would have to wait for them to cash out that night and see if they balanced. Β And I wasn’t going to be in town! Β I was headed to the cottage later that day. Β I had to wait the weekend through before finding out the fate of my hard-earned dollars.

Thankfully, when I called the bank on the Monday, they had found an overage and refunded my money. Β But for that entire weekend, I had worried that I paid $400 for this Kiss plaque!

CODA: Β And today, the plaque is still worth…just $200 on eBay. Β Oh well. Β An investment, it wasn’t. Β But it does look cool on my wall. Β Thankfully I also kept the box, these things are often only worth their full value with the box intact.

REVIEW: Iron Maiden – The Essential (2005)

Part 38 of my series of Iron Maiden reviews!

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IRON MAIDENΒ – The Essential (2005)

…And the era of Maiden compilations had begun. Β And I did buy them all.

The Essential is a series. Β I have The Essential Johnny Cash as well as others. Β  So, this one was not put together by the band. Β There’s no Eddie on the cover, no exclusive content, no liner notes from Rod Smallwood nor Steve Harris. Β Instead there are liner notes from Lonn M. Friend of RIP Magazine. Β They’re aimed at newbies, but at least all songs get full musician and writing credits.

Much like 1996’s Best of the Beast, the tracks are reverse-chronological. Β This time, it works better than on Best of the Beast. Β The cool thing is that this means you start with the incredible epic “Passchendale” from Dance of Death. Β What an opening. Β Every album (studio and live) is visited, including four Blaze Bayley tracks.

Everybody bitches about what tracks should have been left off, and which should have been included. Β Here’s mine:

1. I would have included no Blaze tracks, and instead included live versions of Bruce singing them.

2. Those are the only times I would have included live tracks.

3. I could do without “Holy Smoke” and “Bring Your Daughter”. Β Give me “Tailgunner” instead.

4. Give me “Stranger In A Strange Land” instead of “Heaven Can Wait”.

But that’s about it. Β You get a healthy mix of hits along with great album cuts such as “Wrathchild”, “Killers”, and glory be, “Phantom of the Opera”! Β Those, plus “Passchendale”, make this a passable greatest hits disc.

Tracklist is below, but only you can decide if this one’s worth buying. Β I bought it for “the collection”. Β As far as a complete career-spanning set goes, this is about as close as it got without having to buy multiple sets. Β However it’s now out of print, so the point is moot.

3/5 stars

Disc: 1
1. Paschendale
2. Rainmaker
3. The Wicker Man
4. Brave New World
5. Futureal
6. The Clansman
7. Sign Of The Cross
8. Man On The Edge
9. Be Quick Or Be Dead
10. Fear Of The Dark
11. Holy Smoke
12. Bring Your Daughter..To The Slaughter
13. The Clairvoyant
Disc: 2
1. The Evil That Men Do
2. Wasted Years
3. Heaven Can Wait
4. 2 Minutes To Midnight
5. Aces High
6. Flight Of Icarus
7. The Trooper
8. The Number Of The Beast
9. Run To The Hills
10. Wrathchild
11. Killers
12. Phantom Of The Opera
13. Running Free (Live)
14. Iron Maiden (Live)

S*** LeBrain’s Dad Says: Howlin’ Banshee!

One day in the winter, I was getting up for another day at the record store. Β My dad was already up obsessing about the Weather Network.

“Are you going to work today?”

“Yeah dad…why wouldn’t I? Β It’s Thursday.”

“Well you better be careful, it’s a howlin’ banshee out there today!”

I look out the window, and saw literally two snowflakes floating through the air.

Sheesh!

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Part 150: Smells Like Presents

RECORD STORE TALES Part 150: Β Smells Like Presents

Our original computerized inventory system forced us to manually type in every album title ourselves. Β Out of sheer boredom, often we’d shake it up a bit. Β For example, just for laughs, we’d often input Alanis Morissette’s album Jagged Little Pill in the system as Jagged Little Pillow. Β Or whatever.

When we saw this Celine Dion Christmas album come in, somebody came up with a clever custom title for our system. Β Remember that Marilyn Manson album, Smells Like Children? Β Take a look at the Celine Dion album cover. Β You’ll understand why we used to call this one Smells Like Presents!

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Part 149: And the award for most embarrassing goes to…Puff Daddy!

RECORD STORE TALES Part 149:

And the award for most embarrassing goes to…Puff Daddy!

The year: Β 1998

The place: Β My store

The guilty party: Β Me

Remember that shitty 1998 movie, Godzilla? Β It’s OK if you didn’t. Β There are movie executives and Matthew Brodericks worldwide that want to forget it, too.

The soundtrack was OK though. Β “A320” is a non-album Foo Fighters track, and one of the first to feature Taylor Hawkins on drums. Β “No Shelter” is a rare Rage Against The Machine track. Β Ben Folds Five and Green Day contributed. Β I’m sure most of these bands would rather forget the movie itself.

The lead single, though, was a song called “Come With Me”, by Puff Daddy. Β You may remember this one, a remake of “Kashmir” but with ol’ Puffy himself providing new, enlightened lyrics.

Huh huh, yeah
Huh huh, yeah
Huh, huh huh, yeah
Huh, huh huh, yeah
Huh, huh huh, yeah
Huh, huh huh, yeah, yeah

Here’s one of the, um, better verses.

You said to trust you, you’d never hurt me
Now, I’m disgusted, since then adjusted
Certainly, you fooled me, ridiculed me
Left me hangin’, now shit’s boomerangin’

Anyway. Β The song features Jimmy Page and Tom Morello too, which is really too bad, because that put it in my obsessive-compulsive collector’s sights.

Then I saw the CD single come in

Track list:

  1. Album version
  2. Morello Mix (cool, right? basically, more guitar squonk)
  3. Radio album version (?)
  4. Live version (???)

Live version? Β Yeah. Β Although I’m sad to say that Jimmy Page performed live with Puffy more than once, this one is from Saturday Night Live. Β I don’t know who the drummer was, but he ain’t no Bonham (John or Jason), that much is clear. Β Jimmy Page does play on it, but I really hate when mid-song, Puffy proclaims, “I think I wanna dance!”

I don’t remember what I paid for this single, probably $3 with my discount. Β Forgivable? Β I hope you think so. Β But I have a lot of ‘splaining to do any time somebody sees it in my collection.

Then another differentΒ single showed up! Β It has two more tracks:

  1. Extended radio edit
  2. Radio versi0n II

Don’t ask me the difference except the swear words are replaced by Godzilla roaring on the radio versions. Β I ended up getting this one for free. Β I turned down the guy who was selling it, because it did look like a cheap promo (no booklet, for example, and the crappy track list), but he left it behind. Β And that’s how I ended up with two copies of a Puff Daddy single.

I like my CD collection to be displayed for all to see. Β I’m (mostly) proud of it. Β I ain’t so proud of this, even with the presence of Page and Morello. Β It’s always hard to explain and justify to guests, who never fail to notice it.

Therefore, the award for most embarrassing CD of all time goes to ME, for “Come With Me”, by Puff Daddy, not one version but two!