Bafflingly, and for many many years, people believed that Toronto got album releases before anywhere else in Canada. As if albums were delivered by the Pony Express.
Levels of hoaxes so complex it’ll make your head spin. SuperShadow was a supposed Star Wars inside informant who leaked prequel plots and characters. He was a notoriously hated spreader of fake Star Wars news, but the layers of intrigue here go down to all the way to…me…who posed on MySpace as a “fake” SuperShadow, in hopes of smoking out the real one. Fake news of fake news!
Finally my favourite – Record Store Tales Part 285: Chinese Democracy
In an interview with Slash published in the March/April 1994 issue of M.E.A.T Magazine, the guitarist claimed the next Guns N’ Roses album would be out the following summer of 1995. Heh. Won’t get fooled again?
There are of course many “fake news” stories through the history of rock and roll. “Paul is dead.” “2 Pac is alive.” “There are two Nikki Sixx’s.” “Joey Tempest is a demon.” What are your favourites?
I thought it would be fun going forward to re-post old chapters of Record Store Tales that you may have missed. Enjoy this Christmas-themed re-post!
RECORD STORE TALES Part 150:SmellsLike Presents
Our original computerized inventory system forced us to manually type in every album title ourselves. Out of sheer boredom, often we’d shake it up a bit. For example, just for laughs, we’d often input Alanis Morissette’s album Jagged Little Pill in the system as Jagged Little Pillow. Or whatever.
When we saw this Celine Dion Christmas album come in, somebody came up with a clever custom title for our system. Remember that Marilyn Manson album, Smells Like Children? Take a look at the Celine Dion album cover. You’ll understand why we used to call this one Smells Like Presents!
It’s the regular feature where I reveal weird search terms that somehow led people here. These are the WTF Search Terms!
WTF Search Terms XIX: Heavy Porn Metal edition
There seem to be two clear majorities in search terms categories that I get here: Heavy metal and porn. Here are 10 new ones for your perusal. (For the last WTF installment, A Mixture of Elements edition, click here.)
10. geoff tate ruined queensryche (No argument from me.)
9.porn right motley crue shout at the devil (2 hits.)
8.blaze bayley implant crane (I have no idea what this guy’s looking for.)
7.rock shemale heavy metal ass pics
6. joe perry journey (Wrong band.)
5.why was bobby dall arrested in your mama dont dancs video (You know, I have wondered this ever since that video came out. I have no idea. Anybody?)
3.sebastian bach model trains (I love that Trailer Park Boys have turned this into a common urban myth that has come up in my search terms repeatedly!)
2.how much is my 1993 aerosmith get a grip cd worth(50 cents, big spender!)
1.why does peter criss have a huge bass drum (Maybe you’re thinking of Tommy Lee?)
NINE INCH NAILS – broken (1992 Interscope EP) / halo five
I remember seeing this in my local HMV store in 1992. I thought, “Nine Inch Nails have cool packaging,” because you didn’t see too many digipacks back then. It’s cooler than just that though, with three panels unfolding in a “T” shape each with a letter on it. “n”…”i”…”n”…
Gotta give Trent Reznor credit for packaging, he usually has very striking and original concepts for his discs. Also cool how the packaging for broken nicely complements the remix album fixed once both are bought. broken technically qualifies as an EP I guess, or a mini-album maybe, even though it is longer than most classic Van Halen albums.
There is a version of broken out there that was once considered one of the Holy Grails of Nine Inch Nails collectibles. I guess the advent of eBay made it much easier to get, because eBay has one as of this writing for $12, free shipping, VG condition. It is a 2 CD version, with the two “hidden” tracks on a separate 3″ CD enclosed within the digipack. This was supposedly discontinued because unscrupulous store owners were taking out the bonus CD and selling it separately. Or so goes the legend. I think cost would also have been a factor in discontinuing the bonus CD. On re-releases like I own, the bonus tracks are included as #98 and #99, with 91 tracks of 1 second silences preceding them.
“Pinion” serves as a brief intro to “Wish” and they are always presented together. This serves to intensify the mighty “Wish”, the heaviest song released by Nine Inch Nails up to the time. What sounds like a blowtorch punctuates a frantic drum rhythm. This progresses into a mélange of bizarre sounds, shredding guitars and a sledgehammer riff. “Last” follows, a slower more relentless riff. At times its the industrial version of “Sad But True”, but with a synthpop style chorus. Reznor maintains his angry snarl throughout, bitching about whatever he’s bitching about. “Pigs” are referenced, he sounds upset, angry, sad…aww!
“Help Me I Am In Hell” is one of the coolest tracks, a quiet two-minute guitar n’ noise respite. It sounds a lot like some of the quieter moments that would later come on The Downward Spiral (a genius album if there ever was one). Then, “Happiness in Slavery” serves as a barrage to the noggin’, Trent yelling stuff about slaves screaming in a distorted voice. There are some cool, ascending metal-y guitar licks and another synthpop chorus. If I had to guess, I’d say the lyrics are a thinly veiled discourse on getting screwed by your record label, as Trent was at the time.
The final song of this batch of tracks is “Gave Up”, another fast metallic song. It’s hard to discern the melodies from it, such is the distortion of the track. It does have a bad-ass keyboard solo though. Trent sounds like he’s singing on a broken tape deck and the guitars sound like they’re on the same cassette too. It’s my least favourite song on the EP, although I remember it had a cool “live” style music video with Marilyn Manson on guitar.
After 91 tracks of silence (a quaint-oh-so 90’s gimmick that I sidestepped by not ripping them) are the bonus cover songs. “Physical (You’re So)” is an Adam and the Ants tune, morphed into something that sounds like a cross between Nine Inch Nails and Motley Crue. This is a great track. Among the best on the album. There are jackhammer sounds, plenty of distortion and unidentifiable but cool sounds. “Suck” is a Pigface cover (from Gub) that Trent originally sang and co-wrote anyway. It has a powerful chorus and riff much like the rest of broken, but the verses (pun intended) kind of suck. That funky bassline…it’s not my thing, I guess.
One weird thing. I don’t know where it came from, but I somehow got a booklet for a Japanese version of broken. I found it inside my copy…I must have found it laying around at the store. Kinda neat to have, I can’t read a word of it, but cool. My CD appears to just be the regular single disc US release otherwise.
“Here We Go Again” with more WTF Search Terms! Everything seen below is an actual search term, that a real person clicked to somehow get here to mikeladano.com. As David Coverdale might say, “Here’s some rock and roll for ya!”
jon mikl thor arnold the beatles greatness (One of these things is not like the other)
DAVID LEE ROTH / DLR BAND: DLR Band (1998 wawazat!!)
In 1998, David Lee Roth was angry. He’d been conned by Van Halen into appearing on the MTV awards with them to promote their new greatest hits, and implying that Dave was back. Dave was not back. Van Halen released the derided Van Halen III with Gary Cherone earlier in ’98, while Dave sat back waiting to unleash the DLR Band.
The DLR Band consisted of Dave himself on vocals, John 5 (yes, the John 5) and Terry Kilgore on guitar, and Ray Luzier on drums. Of course, today John 5 is well known for his work with Marilyn Manson and Rob Zombie, and Ray Luzier is in Korn. Terry Kilgore had been working with Dave since 1994’s Your Filthy Little Mouth. Cover art was simple, a picture of Bettie Page over an American flag and no real indication that this was David Lee Roth. A lot of stores didn’t know either, and filed it under “DLR Band” instead of Roth, guaranteeing lack of sales.
So this was one smokin’ band, and with John 5 on board, a hot guitarist to rival the flaming fingers of St. Eddie. John 5 sounds to me like a cross between Van Halen, Steve Stevens and Tom Morello. For the bluesier sounds on the album, Terry Kilgore’s strat aptly filled the gaps. And that basically sums up the album. It goes from bluesier grooves such as “Lose The Dress (Keep The Shoes)” to space-age fast-paced VH shuffles like “Slam Dunk!” Additional guitar and writing is supplied by Mike Hartman.
Dave’s not as poetic on the lyrics this time, with “Counter-Blast” being particularly bad. I can’t think of one good song about the internet, and this is no exception. “I’m gonna fax you into the atom age”? “Your page or mine”? Sorry Dave. Stick with what you know. Hot cars, girls, a drink and some philosophy of life.
Highlights for me are many. On the faster, space-age side are “Slam Dunk!”, “Relentless”, and the aforementioned “Counter-Blast” which is great musically. On the groovier, sleezier side are “Wa Wa Zat!!”, “Weekend With The Babysitter”, and “Lose The Dress (Keep The Shoes)”. The album ends with “Black Sand”, an atmospheric sunset-stained journey. But really, there are no lowlights on this album of strong rock songs. No ballads.
The sound of the album is crisp and tight, recorded in just 10 days like the Van Halen albums of old. No gloss, no flourishes, no flashy production except in John 5’s guitars. Where this album differs most from Van Halen classics is Dave’s voice. On the old albums, Dave could hide his voice’s weaknesses behind Mike and Ed’s backing vocals. Here, Dave’s voice is naked, sometimes flat, sometimes sharp, sometimes wheezing.
Having said that, I still recommend DLR band to fans of Roth who love that attitude and hot guitar. However, if you’re expecting the man to sing like he’s 25 again, best to stick to the old albums.
It’s time for THE TENTH installment of WTF! Like the others, this is a collection of strange/humorous/whatever search terms that somehow led people to mikeladano.com. If you missed the last one, “Top ten edition”, click here!
who was the hunchback on the vban halen pretty woman video (It was David Lee Roth himself)
joe elliott kissing phil collen (No.)
iron meiden son so seven son yu tube
mike patton quiet riot(I have no idea what these two things have in common.)
Welcome to the latest installment of WTF Search Terms! This series presents actual search terms that real people typed into Google, somehow leading to my site. If you missed the last installment, click here!
I’ve noticed there are a lot of confused people out there. I thought I would do a public service, by correcting some people’s misconceptions. Enjoy.
Welcome back to WTF! Click here if you missed the last one. This edition collects some musical Google searches that somehow led people here to this blog. Enjoy these head-scratchers and WTFs!
This first guy’s obviously an idiot.
10. steve morse sucks
9.is paul stanley loosoing his voice?
8.i wouldl like to hear mob rules (why, how polite!)
7.life+it+up+kiss
6.black sabbath paranoid deluxe edition where is the 3 disc (right there.)
5.phrase from what tv show – it’s the final countdown!! (Arrested Development.)
4.puff daddy’s embarring habit
3.new kids on the block poster greatest hits
2.real elvis videos tumblr hornny holes
And this week’s winner:
1.marilyn manson with butt plug
Like the WTF’s? Then come back soon, or better yet, subscribe!
Fight was kaput. Rob had a new band, a photo of whom appeared in Metal Edge magazine. The band was called Halford, and although that would change, Rob used his surname for another band later on. I remember a weird looking blonde dude wearing a silver skin tight suit of some kind (more on him later), and I thought, “Well, OK then. This is going to be different.” Soon after the Metal Edge photo, the name had changed from Halford, to Two.
I had a buddy, Nathan, who was really into Nine Inch Nails. This Halford project was on his radar as well, due to Rob’s collaboration with Trent Reznor. At the time, Rob Halford insisted that the resulting album, an industrial/rock hybrid, was the sound he was going for all along when he quit Priest in ’92 and formed Fight.
I don’t believe that, but they did come close on the Mutations EP. I think Fight was exactly what he wanted to do at that time. When the second Fight album fizzled I think Rob questioned his musical direction, hooked up with Trent, and did this experimental record.
Two (stylized as 2wo) were experimental by Halford’s standards, but not by industrial music standards in general. Voyeurs has all the expected bells and whistles, including but not limited to: distorted vocals, the word “pig” in a song title, thumpy bass, ticky-ticky sounds, bloops, bleeps, and other stuff that sounds like broken machinery.
What does make this album special is that the band was “Two”, not “One”…meaning there is a second guy involved here, and what a talent he was. That guy was guitar player John 5. This was his breakthrough release. After this he hooked up with David Lee Roth, Marilyn Manson, Rob Zombie, et al. John 5’s involvement means there is some wicked guitar work here, including “I Am A Pig” which features a solo that sounds like a mashup of Morello and Satriani.
Highlight songs include “I Am A Pig” (Reznor sure loves his pig imagery), “Stutter Kiss”, “Hey Sha La La”, “Water’s Leaking”, and the epic closer “Bed of Rust”. “Bed of Rust” could have made a pretty cool Fight track. I would say in fact that there are no throwaway songs here. All of them have something worthwhile to offer. Just don’t think too much about the lyrics. Halford’s delivery is understated and, at times, whispery. No screams. At Reznor’s suggestion, instead Rob explored other aspects of his voice.
Other notable names: Bob Marlette plays bass and produces. Dave “Rave” Ogilvie does some production work. Trent Reznor “executive produced”. I always wondered what that means. I picture it meaning that Trent gives the project either a “thumbs up” or a “thumbs down” when the real work is done.
Of course many Priest fans didn’t get it, although a chunk of the Reznor fans (who at the time would buy anything on Nothing records) accepted and enjoyed the album for what it is. I think if this was a release by a more popular band, like say Nine Inch Nails or KMFDM, it could have spawned two or three singles.
Japan had a bonus track called “In My Head” which is absolutely impossible to find, so good luck. I’ve never heard it.
3.5/5 stars
Postscript:
It was during this period, promoting the Two album, that Rob Halford came out. People joked for a good number of years that Rob’s sexuality was the worst kept secret in rock. That can’t negate the courage that it took for Rob to come out in a musical genre that isn’t always kind to anyone who’s “different” (hello, Blabbermouth!).
“I think it’s difficult for everybody, you know, in making the decision to come forward and be who you are, based on peer pressure, especially if you’re a teenager,” Halford said. “That’s where a lot of the anxiety begins, and so maybe people like myself and others that do step in front of a camera and let the world know, maybe it’s of some help, where there’s an individual that’s been successful, that’s been able to achieve dreams and visions and goals in life and not let the issue of sexuality be something to hold them back, so I think it’s an important thing.”
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