REVIEW: VAN HALEN – “Right Now” cassette single

VAN HALEN – “Right Now” (1992 cassette single, Warner)

“Right Now”, the cassette single version, – featuring two non-album versions of the title track.

side one:

  1. Right Now (single mix)
  2. Man on a Mission (album version)

side two:

  1. Right Now (edit)
  2. Man on a Mission (album version)

There are two interesting things about this cassette.  First, I’ve never encountered that “Right Now” remix on any other format.  No CD, no vinyl, nothing that has a longer lifespan than a cassette.  Cassettes are not that durable.  I want to get this thing burned to CD as soon as possible.   Second, the remix is actually quite cool.  It features an organ solo instead of guitar, and you won’t hear this version anywhere else.  Any serious fan of Edward Van Halen would be interested in hearing it.

I find it a little odd that the b-side “Man on a Mission” appears twice.  Shame about that, as I consider it easily one of the worst songs on For Unlawful Carnal Knowledge. 

3/5 stars.  A neat little-known oddity.

REVIEW: Van Halen – 3 (1998 collector’s tin)

Welcome back to the second installment of our Van Halen two-parter review.  Last time we talked about the Can’t Stop Loving You singles.  Today, we’ll be discussing the controversial Van Halen 3, with a special emphasis on this neat but overpriced collector’s tin.

Van Halen – 3 (collectors’ tin 1998)

In this day and age, bands always release different editions of albums, to jack up the price and hopefully also sell multiple versions to the same buyer.  Today we get bonus tracks, entire bonus CDs, or a DVD to get us to pay a higher price.  In 1998, at least with this Van Halen album, we got nothing of the sort.  We got paper, plastic, and tin, but no extra content.  It is bonus content that gets me to pay the higher price, normally.  Throw on exclusive music and the collector in me salivates.

Before we get into all that, let’s talk about Van Halen 3, the album.

Fact: Van Halen shot themselves in the foot when they went through the whole Sammy-quit-now-Dave-is-back-no-he-isn’t thing. I remember watching the MTV Awards in 1996, and thinking that Dave being back in Van Halen was about the best thing that had ever happened.   And then when I found out that Gary Cherone was lead singer?  Hoping for the best, fearing for the worst.

I’d been following Cherone for years, and his touch on Extreme’s III Sides To Every Story was absolutely sublime.  But even though both Extreme and Van Halen had a penchant for flashy solos and the odd ballad, it just didn’t seem like the right match.  Cherone was a spiritual and political lyricist, nothing like the party animal of Hagar nor the ringmaster of Roth.

Van Halen 3 was as complex and mature as you could have hoped, which is fine, but it also sounds decidingly unlike the band Van Halen. And vocally, something is wrong. Listening to this album, Cherone is not singing in his old style. He’s shrieking, pushing his voice to the breaking point, and sounding unfortunately a lot like Sammy Hagar, confusing the fans even more. On top of that, when I played the album I noticed right away that something didn’t sound right with the band itself. Turns out, I was right — Michael Anthony only played on three tracks. The rest was all Eddie on bass and backing vocals.

Van Halen 3 (still don’t really get the name) is a semi-triumph for the band, in certain senses. It is long, mature, diverse, progressive, and paradoxically it is also similar to 1984, soundwise. It has a similar coldness…like a chill was in the room where you can hear Eddie’s amp humming away. “From Afar” is so spare and epic, one can only wonder what would have happened if it was on 1984.  Elsewhere, Eddie’s warm synth has returned on tracks such as “Once”.  The guitars have that warm-amp fuzz to them that you just can’t fake with pro-tools.

Yet it is only a semi-triumph. As much as I want to like this album, I have to admit, these don’t sound like finished songs. Aside from my “highlight” songs (below) a lot of the tunes sound like they’re only half finished. As if Van Halen were songwriting amatures, and this is an overindulgent and underplanned demo tape. Eddie’s guitarwork is great, as always, but much of the time it sounds like he’s just jamming with himself. While this is fantastic to listen to from a technique point of view, you’re not humming the riffs an hour later, like you can every time you listen to Fair Warning or even Unlawful.

My highlights (not including instrumentals):
“Without You”
“One I Want”
“From Afar”
“Once”

Other songs, like “Ballot or the Bullet” just barely hang together.

The album especially stumbles when Eddie takes his first lead vocal on the smoky barroom ballad “How Many Say I”. The song is no good and Eddie can’t sing lead.

The best song, and the most Van Halen-like, wasn’t even on the album. “That’s Why I Love You” appeared on early promos, and should have been the single, but was dropped by Warners in a monumental error of judgement. If it had appeared, and if it was the first single, the fate of this album would definitely have been different. Track it down. You’ll see what I mean.

The tin itself is nice.  It has the Van Halen 3 cannonball guy printed on it, the VH “globe” logo printed on the back.   Incidentally, the CD inside is unique.  The regular retail edition did not have the checker pattern or the “circus” Van Halen logo.  If you’re buying one of these used make sure you’re getting the correct CD with your tin.  Also make sure it’s not scratched.  It is stored in a paper sleeve prone to this.

         

Inside are a pick (a pink one?) with VH logo, a 3 sticker, and numerous pieces of slotted card paper with pictures on them  Some pictures are of the band, and some with just a “3” theme.  The band photos are pretty cool.  It almost looks as if Van Halen were a real band at the time!  Some of these paper cards have lyrics and liner notes too.

The slotted paper cards have instructions that you can assemble them in a number of unique ways.  Never having done this before, I took this review as the opportunity to try it.  Fun??  No, not really.

Rating:

3/5 stars for the album

2/5 stars for the tin

Coda: 

I thought while we’re at it, let’s also take a look at the “Without You” promo CD single.  It contains a 4:57 edit (album version is 6:28 so a significant edit version).  It is mostly notable for its packaging:  A clear red case, giant puffy 3 sticker stuck to it, and a Van Halen logo sticker in the upper right corner.  The CD is designed to look like a 3″ single.  Definitely worth tracking down for collectors who love unique looking discs.

     

REVIEW: New Kids on the Block – Greatest Hits

NEW KIDS ON THE BLOCK – Greatest Hits (2008)

With their triumphant return to the stage recently, it is only appropriate that today we revisit the 2008 Greatest Hits package by the ultimate boy band, New Kids on the Block.

This album, simply titled Greatest Hits, is a collection of the best of the best by the original Fab Five.  Aside from the four bonus tracks, which we’ll talk about later, the album is chock full of smash hits waiting to be remembered.  Starting with their trademark song “Step By Step”, it never lets up til the end.  This is a breathtaking collection of songwriting prowess and vocal excellence.  Truly, manager Maurice Starr had a talent for discovering stars.

This album is, in fact, a reissue of a 1999 edition, which only had 14 tracks.  The new version has 18.  It also omits a C + C Music Factory remix, and subs in “My Favourite Girl” instead, sung by Jordan Knight and Danny Wood, which is a better tune.  There are a few other changes as well, but chances are, this album will do fine for you.  If you really badly want to listen to their Christmas song all the time, it’s only on the 1999 edition).  It has been taken off this release.  Instead, you will get the hit single “Games”.  This is presented in the much tougher “Kids Get Hard” remix.

You will already know the massive hits, “The Right Stuff”, “Cover Girl”, “Tonight”, “Hangin’ Tough”, and “Please Don’t Go Girl”.  Most impressive is Jordan Knight’s lead vocal turn on the epic ballad, “I’ll Be Loving You (Forever)”.  Impressive pipes.  Truly one of the great underrated vocalists of the 90’s.  As a bit of a bonus, you’ll also get a song from 1994’s Face The Music LP, which suffered from lacklustre sales.  This track shows the Kids (then known as NKOTB) taking a more modern turn, while sacrificing none of their sweet harmonies.

There are four bonus cuts on this disc.  One is a “Mega Mix” that will work ideally for parties and dances.  There are two songs from solo albums (Jordan’s and Joey’s), and Donnie’s sentimental duet with Seiko, “The Right Combination”.

Best of all, you even get a full size poster!  This is perfect for wall or ceiling.

5/5 stars

Part 18: Klassic Kwotes III

Without further adieu.

1. This one is painful.  We had a wreath on our store door, with the lights and all that.  There was a note taped to the door next to the wreath.  It was instructions for us.  It said:  “Please unplug the reith every night!”  R-E-I-T-H.

2. “Because I’m the Tattoo Man!  I get a discount at Sears, you know.”  Said to us by Snake the Tattoo Man, on why he deserved a discount.

3. “Kurt!  Stop that!”  Yelled by a young mother at her misbehaving son, while selling her ENTIRE Nirvana collection.

4. Q: “What happens when you put a CD in the microwave?”  A: You buy a new microwave.

5. “I was just trying to see how fast I could run…with a shovel…”  Said to me by a kid who walked in the store, stole our snow shovel, and walked out again.  (I got in shit, by the way, for chasing him down and getting the shovel back.)

6. “What you’re hearing right now is a roll.  You’ve heard of rock, right?  You’ve heard of rock and roll, right?  Well, this song is roll.  Can you hear it?  Can you hear that?  This is roll.  Not rock, and not rock and roll.  This is the first roll performed since 1966.”  Said to us by some dude while we were playing the current album by The Verve, Urban Hymns.  I still have no fucking idea what he was on about.  (If you know, please, comment below.)

7. “Do you have ze Queens?”  Said to me by a guy with a thick German accent, asking for Queen.

8. This one’s not a quote, per-se.  But this guy came in once wearing a T-shirt that said, “Does this cock in my mouth make me look gay?”  He was in the store with his mother!

9. “Can I work here for like, four hours, and you just pay me cash when I’m done?”  Said to me by a really really scary looking weirdo dude type guy.

10. “Can you please do me a favour.  I’d like you to call or write to Sony, and let them know that this DVD is not recorded in DTS.  It says it is on the box, but when I put it in the player, the DTS light doesn’t come on.  Can you please inform Sony about this?”  Sure.  Want me to pick up your laundry too?

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REVIEW: Van Halen – “Can’t Stop Loving You” (2 CD with tin)

You lucky, lucky boys and girls!  Another double feature review?  And this time it’s all Van Halen?  Today, you get Part One – Can’t Stop Loving You!

REVIEW:  Van Halen – Can’t Stop Loving You (parts I & II, inc. collector’s tin.)

In the 90’s, CD singles were a big deal especially in Europe.  Probably due to quirks of the British chart rules which limits a single to 4 songs, bands often doubled up by releasing double singles with each part sold separately.  There were also cases of triple singles, or singles with exclusive tracks on the vinyl versions, in order to get you, the consumer, to buy it more than once therefore charting it higher.

Can’t Stop Loving You by Van Halen was released this way, but without all the bonus tracks that really made it worthwhile.  Instead, you could get a collector’s tin to store both discs in.

Part I of the single (w022cd) came in a standard jewel case and the following b-sides.

  • 2. Crossing Over (non-LP track, Japanese bonus track for Balance)
  • 3. Right Now (live)
  • 4. Man on a Mission (live)

The case has no indication of a second disc being available.  The two live songs are from the album Live: Right here, right now.  The bonus track “Crossing Over” is incredible, and well worth hunting down for any Van Hagar fan.  This thumper is apparently based on music that Edward had written years earlier, and was finished off by Sammy’s haunting lyrics about journeying to the great beyond.  Lyrically it hits the spot, and musically, it cascades atmospherically.  It has a lot of bass, runs very slowly, but is unique in the Van Hagar canon, there is nothing else like it.  It fits the darker, mellow vibe of some of Balance‘s more thoughtful moments.

Part II (wo288cdx)  is only worth buying for the tin itself.  There are no exclusive bonus tracks to be had on this disc.  The tin is your standard CD tin, with the Van Halen “globe”-style logo embossed onto the front.  There’s a helpful (upside down) sticker on the front advertizing that you can also buy the other CD and store it in this case.  There is a foam insert inside to help protect your CD.  The back of the tin has a large sticker with notes and pictures, and a tracklist for the other CD as well — this is handy if you do end up storing them together.

Bonus tracks are as follows.  Once again all bonus tracks are simply lifted from the live album.  The A-side is the standard album version of “Can’t Stop Loving You”, which is also the same as the first CD.

  • 2. Best of Both Worlds (live)
  • 3. When It’s Love (live)
  • 4. One Way To Rock (live)

Rating:

For part one, a solid 4/5 stars for the excellent bonus track “Crossing Over”

For part two, a dismal 2/5 stars.  It’s only there to look at really.

 

Tune in again in a couple days, when we finish this review off with one more RARE VAN HALEN collector’s tin…

Part 17: New Music

1993. Fuck yeah.

RECORD STORE TALES Part 17:  New Music

I had always tried to stay ahead of the curve, musically.  Not so much anymore, but back then?  Definitely.  When I was a younger, more handsome fellow (see above, next to Jean-Luc Picard), I used to buy every magazine that was on the shelf, all the time.  I knew every band coming out,  before they came out.  The record store was an extension of this, bands were coming in all the time that you’d try out.  Big Wreck for example.  I had heard the buzz building about this band for months and then when I saw a CD come in, I tried it and liked it.

Sometimes a CD would just look interesting.   If an album cover struck you, you’d play it on your shift.  If it sucked, you’d take it off.  If you liked it, score!  New fave band.

There was this pseudo “super group” called Neurotic Outsiders in 1996.  T-Rev raved about their debut album, Neurotic Outsiders, so I snagged it.  They consisted of Matt Sorum and Duff McKagan (Guns N’ Roses), Steve Jones (Sex Pistols), and John Taylor (Duran Duran).  It was decidedly punk rock, which was fine by me, and I was finding myself really getting into punk at the time. It was great!  Made my top 10 that year.

Another one was the Sultans of Ping F.C.  That’s a mouthful.  (F.C. was for Football Club).  Their album, Casual Sex in the Cineplex, was discovered by Trevor and quickly spread among us like fungus. It was Irish punk rock with hilarious lyrics!

My brother knows Karl Marx
He met him eating mushrooms in the public park
He said What do you think of my manifesto?
I like your manifesto, put it to the testo   – (“Where’s Me Jumper?”)

That album spread like fungus among us.  One problem:  there was just one copy in the entire chain of stores.  And all of us wanted it.  So, the CD went on hold into a “store play” pile.  Anybody could listen to it on their shift, but it stayed in the store.  That arrangement lasted about a year.

The boss wouldn’t let us just “keep it on hold” for ourselves and not buy it, rightfully so.  It was a product.  Trev put it on the shelves.  He was quite confident that nobody would ever buy it.   We could listen to it in store to our heart’s desires, and it was still “for sale”.

I think that may have been the status quo for like another year, maybe two.  Then they hired this new guy Matty G.  Matty G was not aware of the “nobody may buy the Sultans of Ping” rule.   Matty G bought the Sultans of Ping on his first shift, after hearing Trev playing it in store.

Matt was kind enough to tape it for me, and later on a guy in England burned me a copy.  Yet,   that was to this day the only copy I have ever seen.  If anybody reading this owns a copy:  Name your price.

Part 16: Travelling Man

For the record, I’m not much the traveller.  If I were any shorter and hairier, I’d be a hobbit.  Happy kicking my feet up, at home.

So when I got the phone call one Thursday afternoon that I was needed in Oakville later that same afternoon, my heart just sank.  I’d already pulled shifts at numerous stores.  Because I was the most experienced person in the whole organization, I was the trainer.  I also covered asses when people didn’t show up and got sick.  I’d worked in at least 11 different stores by the end of it all.  But this Oakville stint was different, in that in was both sudden and indefinite.

There was some sort of staffing issue where they lost the main guy and needed someone in right away.  I didn’t want to do it and said so, but I did it anyway.   Thus began what was easily the worst month or two of my entire life.

Commuting on highway 8 to the 401.  401 to the 6 South.  6 South to the 403.  403 to the QE.  Do it twice a day nearly every day, many of those days being a full 12 hours long.  Leave for work at 8 am to get through the traffic, which was always uncertain.  Traffic jams were the only guaranteed thing, and a daily occurance on the 403 on QEW.  Close up shop at 9:30 usually, do the drive home, usually around 10:30 if there’s no traffic on the way back.  Your social life is on hold, your leisure time nearly nonexistent.  My boss noticed I was miserable and took me aside.

He said he noticed I hadn’t “been doing well with the whole Oakville thing.”  Now, the whole time I was responsible for Oakville, I was also responsible for my home store.  This meant keeping the books for both, doing inventory at both (a year-end inventory for both!), and doing the monthly sales books too.  Considering I was literally going insane, I was pissed off that he actually said anything to me about it.

“No, you’re right,” I answered.  “I hate doing that drive every day.  You know I hate driving, everybody knows I hate driving.  I’m not seeing my family, I don’t have time to do anything, all my time is plugged into the store.  And on top of that I still have the other store.  And you’ve got me working full days with no relief on some of these days.”

He pondered that a moment, and then asked, “Does your car have a tape deck?”

“Yeah, sure.”

He then retorted, “Why don’t you bring some of your old tapes with you, and listen to music in the car.  That’ll be a lot of fun for you.”

I’d been doing this and in fact doing it with a theme.  I’d been playing my oldest, most seldom played cassettes from back in the 80’s.  Stuff I hadn’t heard in years, like Winger.  One thing I learned from this commute is; when you’re stuck in traffic on the 403, in a torrential downpour, listening to Winger, it still sucks pretty much as bad as it would if you weren’t listening to Winger.

He didn’t get that, so he reminded me of all that nice mileage money I was making.  I hadn’t been paid any of it yet, but I was looking forward to one day maybe being lucky enough to have a cheque show up.  I was gassing up every day on my Visa card and I didn’t have enough money to cover it.

So off I went to Oakville again, listening to Helix this time, because Helix reminded me of Kitchener.  The next day it was something else, and the next day something else, but the days just blurred together.  Did I mention I was working weekends?

By the time December hit I was running on energy drinks and pepperoni for a diet.  By first snow, my dad was starting to get worried.  He knew my car (a 1998 Dodge Neon) had a history of malfunctions and the tires were getting old.  But there was no time to have a service done, since I was always on the road.

There were still other aggravating factors.  The stay in Oakville was indefinite.  Nobody had any idea when their continued staffing issues would end. I didn’t even know if I’d be working there on Christmas Eve, doing the commute home.  Everything was up in the air so in a sense there really was no light at the end of the tunnel.

The very worst thing about Oakville was this one small minority of customers that had a habit of ruining your day.  Sme of them seemed quite well off.  They drove fancy SUV’s and Hummers, and parked them in the fire lane, too.

Many SUV curb parkers were really nice, chatty, funny.  Others were indifferent.  Another kind completely was the Busy, Very Important Business Man.   Their shoes were very shiny.  Their coats looked expensive and warm.  Their gloves looked like they were made of soft leather.  They were on their lunch.

Now, I need to back up a moment here so you understand the scenario about to unfold.  In Ontario, a used CD store operates like a pawn shop.  There are procedures and laws to be followed.  Anyone selling used goods must be 18 years old or older.  They must present, and I must record, the proper identification.  There were several items on the “good ID” list and many more on the “bad”.

Good

  1. Driver’s license.
  2. BYID (identification to buy liquor)
  3. Up to date passport, as in, you’re not 5 in the picture.

Bad

  1. Health card.  Yeah I know the government puts it out, laws are laws and we were told by the cops, don’t take these.
  2. Library card.  I know that seems obvious.
  3. School ID cards.
  4. Business cards.
  5. A note from your mom.  I didn’t make that one up, some kid tried that and the stupid person working that night actually took it as ID.

When a rich Oakvillian came into the store with a box of CDs to sell, it was always the worst day of the week.  Sometimes I’d bring a sandwich instead of pepperoni, and they’d always come in while I was eating.  Guaranteed.

This one guy, on this one particular day, was ornery.  I mean he was just not having a good day and you could tell.  He was still on his cell when he walked in.  He comes up to the counter, ear still to phone.  He drops the box on the counter.  He’s not even making eye contact with me.  He’s nodding his head and talking.  I stand there looking at him.  He hasn’t even made eye contact with me let alone speak to me.

Finally, the guy motioned to me to start looking through his CDs.  This was not a good start because I wasn’t able to briefly explain our buying policy with him, e.g. what to expect.  I had no idea what his assumptions were, but by experience I concluded he’d think his discs were worth a lot more than I was going to be able to give him.  They were good, classical, jazz and blues.  This stuff sold well in Oakville, and over the internet, but just because it’s jazz and classical doesn’t make it expensive.  A lot of factors played in.  Record labels, remastered, non remastered, retail price, supply and demand.  This guy, you’d think, would understand these business principles.  Turns out he didn’t understand this.  It also turns out he doesn’t like to bargain with the serving class.  Nor does he like to be asked for ID by the serving class, but more on that later.

One drawback to classical and jazz was that they were sometimes more complicated to look up and price.  I mean, Rachmaninov is a lot to type in on the best of days, let along ones where you feel asleep and caffeine buzzed all at once.  I had to take my time.  I wasn’t doing it on purpose.  I had to get it right, so I could say to him confidently that I was doing the very best I could for him.  If he wanted to bargain up ten or twenty bucks, for this many discs, I could have done that, I was able to value the discs higher if I needed to.

He didn’t like the way I priced his discs, and he really didn’t like it when I told him that some, a small number, were scratched.  He got visibly upset about the ones that were scratched a bit too badly for me to take.

“These play fine.  Try them.”

I explained, “There’s more to it than that.  We have extremely high standards to the visual look of a disc.  We have several locations and I have to remain consistent with our other stores, which all are held to a very high standard.  I’m sure the disc plays fine, I really don’t doubt it.  I’ll just never get this disc to look completely new, and that’s what we’re trying to go for.  I’m sorry about that but I really can’t buy that disc.”

“You don’t play a CD by looking at it, do you?  It plays fine, this is absolutely ridiculous.”

He was really pissed off now.

I went through the values I was offering for the discs.  Knowing this was not going to go well, I started with the high ones and worked down to the lower valued ones.  He wasn’t happy right from the start.  Things that I was offering $6 for, which was high, he wanted $10.  I couldn’t do it.  Multiplied across so many discs, I couldn’t bury the cost elsewhere.

I played my $10 bargaining chip and upped my offer.  It just seemed to make him more angry.  I went up $15.  $20.  I started to wonder if his skin would turn green.  I saw it unfold in my head.  It starts at the eyes, they glow green, then his skin, then the muscles burst through the shirt.

“Who do you think you are?” he asked me incredulously.

Who do I think I am?  Who the fuck do you think you are?

“I’m sorry sir, but this truly is the best I can do.”

“This is highway fucking robbery.  I’ll take the money,” said the man in the expensive jacket.

Steeling myself against the barrage I expected, I dropped one final bomb.

“I’ll just need to get some government issued ID from you.”

A pause.  “Who the fuck do you think you are?  I am not giving you my ID.  You legally can’t even ask me for my ID.”

Again, consistency.  If I let this slide and he comes again when someone else is working, they’d get the inevitable “Well, the other guy said I didn’t need ID!”

“I actually have to sir, that’s actually the law.  In Ontario, that’s the law.  The police do come in here to collect our books regularly.”  Which was true.  And I’ve been yelled at and threatened by cops for not following procedure.  It’s less fun than being yelled at by rich guys, truthfully.

He reached into his wallet.  “That’s bullshit.  I’m a lawyer.  I’m not showing you my ID.”  He pulled out a business card.  He was indeed a lawyer.

“Sir, I can’t use this.  I need government issued photo ID, like a driver’s license.  This all goes into my computer, I can’t do the transaction without the proper ID.  If I used that, I couldn’t even complete the screen to do the transaction.  None of the information I need is on here.”

He looked even more exasperated.  He’s not the only customer in the store.  Some glance over, some studiously avoid glancing over.  One’s just completely disinterested.

“What information do you need?!” he bellowed.

Inhaling deep, I answered.  “I can’t do this without your date of birth and address, bare minimum.  I’m sorry sir.  That’s all I can do for you.”

He started stuffing the CDs back into the box.  He stormed to the door.  He turned.

“You’re a real asshole, you know that?”

And that was the last thing he said to me.  I never saw him again.

REVIEW: Pearl Jam – Ten (Collector’s Edition, aka The Mother of All Box Sets!)

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Pearl Jam – Ten (2009 Collector’s Edition, 4LP, 2 CD, 1 DVD, 1 Cassette boxed set)

This is how you do a box set!

Obviously, due to the price tag ($250 give or take), this box is not for every fan. This set is for the diehards — the ones who try to collect all the live bootlegs, all the singles, are members of the Ten club, and go see them live every year. Or, this is for people who just want to own something monstrous and cool looking. No matter who you are, if you have the disposable income, you will not be disappointed. There are some things that I was mildly disappointed with (which I shall get to in a moment) but on the whole, if you bought this, you got exactly what you wanted.

This box is packed full of goodies so numerous that I can’t list them all. Needless to say, don’t let the kids get into it or stuff will go missing. From Vedder’s scrap book, to photos, to even a reproduction Mookie Blaylock rookie card! (Pearl Jam’s original name was Mookie Blaylock in case you wondered.) Like I said, this box is loaded. It will take days to absorb all the goodies inside, all packed within a very sturdy and attractive black case. Amazon shipped this set very well packed.

To some, all that stuff is just paper and doesn’t matter next to the music, and in some sense they’re right. So onto the music.

This box includes the original Ten on vinyl and CD. It also includes the 2009 remixed Ten on vinyl and CD. The CD version contains 6 bonus tracks. Brendan O’Brien himself helmed the remixes. I have never been fond of the sound of Ten, until now. If you liked the remixes done for Rearviewmirror, you will like this. I have always found the original mixes too muddy and dull, now they are very bright and crisp. Dare I say it, they are heavier and more rocking. But the essence is the same, and casual fans will probably think this is the way the album always sounded. The six bonus tracks are mostly demos, all very rare.

Also included on DVD is the complete MTV Unplugged performance, previously unreleased and longer than the original broadcast version. This DVD was also included in the more affordable regular retail version so don’t shell out just for this DVD, although it is truly excellent and a great performance.  Legendary performance in fact.  Back in the early 90’s, this is one that spread by word of mouth.  We didn’t get MTV up here in Canada so it was even harder to see stuff like this.  Generally you had to buy a bootleg video at some shady store in Owen Sound or something.  And it looks and sounds a heck of a lot better than bootleg video.  5.1 surround sound plus “Oceans” which did not make the broadcast.

There’s exclusive music in this box, which is another real reason to get it. Drop In The Park, included on vinyl only, is a September 20, 1992 concert at Magnuson Park in Seattle. This is a 9 song album, two records (four sides!) with a 12 minute version of “Porch”. This is a fantastic early concert, a highlight of which was “State of Love and Trust”. As an added bonus, and one not heavily advertized, was that the album comes with a tiny coupon with a download code. You can download the whole album on mp3 and burn it to CD. Nice added touch.

And more!  Also included is a reproduction of Pearl Jam’s original demo cassette, Momma-Son. Right down to the cassette shell and J-card, this replicates the tape that Eddie and the boys made. These early arrangements are really interesting, with “Once” being quite different. This being a cassette, it sounds like…well…a cassette. I would recommend playing it just once, and burning it if you have the technology to do so. After all, tapes wear out fast.  One play could screw it up if it doesn’t like your tape deck.

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I mentioned earlier that some tunes were not included. What I wish they did was give you a download code to get mp3 versions of Momma-Son. Throw in some mp3s for MTV Unplugged, and now we’d be cooking. However these items were not made available for mp3 download. Astute fans may already have them on mp3 anyway…(wink).

Also not included were the four bonus tracks available for sale on the iTunes version. For the record, those tracks were “Why Go”, “Even Flow”, “Alone”, and “Garden” recorded on December 31, 1992 at The Academy Theater in New York. After spending this much money, I felt ripped off that I needed to buy those tracks separately. So being the obsessive compulsive collector that I am, I shelled out.  Again.  I had to buy the whole album again to get the four tracks.  I guess different retailers need different exclusives, it’s what makes the music world go ’round?

There are also MIA bonus tracks from earlier versions of Ten. Europe had “Alive (live)”, “Wash” and “Dirty Frank”, while Japan had “Master/Slave” and the Beatles cover “I’ve Got a Feeling”. For a box set of this stature, I’m afraid to say that these songs really had to be included. Otherwise, this is an incomplete picture of what Ten was and is. In my opinion. Some of that stuff can be easily found on singles and Lost Dogs, others not.

Yet Ten is an historic album.  It is one of very few that you cannot deny was part of a dramatic movement that shook the music world to its core.  Not the rock world, the music world.  Don’t forget, two years later, Pearl Jam were collaborating with Cypress Hill.

I’m going to be totally truthful to admit that Ten is not my favourite PJ album (Vitalogy is), and that I don’t really listen to it much anymore.  I’ve heard “Jeremy” a lotta times…let’s put it that way.  Still, I have never been tired of “Even Flow”.  The guitars of Stone and McCready are strait out of 1970, they are buttery smooth.  Sounds like Fenders and Gibsons to me!  You can’t go wrong with the basic album, even if you don’t like every single song.  It’s an album, it’s a portrait, and it friggin’ rocks at times!

The bottom line is, armed with this information, only you can decide whether this edition of Ten is worth the money. Another drawback to consider: After spending this money, do you really want to play the CDs in the car? It does look awesome on the shelf, but unless you have the money to burn, you may be wiser get the scaled down edition.

5/5 stars. My complaints are mostly nit picks.

Part 15: Dating a Radio Station Girl

RECORD STORE TALES Part 15:  Dating a Radio Station Girl

You would think a Record Store Dude and a Radio Station Girl would make beautiful music together.  (Sorry I couldn’t resist saying that…I promise I’ll never do it again.)

When I first starting dating Radio Station Girl in 2003, I was really excited.  She seemed pretty cool and she worked at a radio station, so how awesome was that?  We had the music career thing happening.

Disappointingly, she turned out to be so un-musical, it was crushing.  She worked at 1240 CJCS in Stratford Ontario.  They were in what she called the “oldies” format.  She also enjoyed cheesy stuff like Barenaked Ladies.

Our first date was the Kelsey’s on the main street of Stratford.  She was moonlighting at Blockbuster video, so I picked her up there and we went to Kelsey’s.  It was February and it was snowing but we were having a great time talking about our respective careers, food, and movies.

Then the Beatles came on.  I can’t remember which song.  Either way it seemed like a good topic of conversation.  George Harrison’s death was still fresh in my memory, as he was my favourite one.

“Elli, who’s your favourite Beatle?” I queried.

“I don’t know.  I can’t name any of them.”

Say what?  Whathefuck??

She worked at a radio station, and couldn’t name a Beatle?

John Lennon maybe?  Ring any bells?

I really should have known.  Honest.  But is bad musical taste enough to not date someone?  If it is, it’s a crime I’ve commited on numerous occassions.  I dated girls who listened to crap dance music, and no fewer than three who have seen New Kids on the Block live.  That I know of.  That is, there were three who admit it. 

I married one of them, but let’s not get into that now!  I love my wife dearly, in spite of and sometimes because of her flaws.

Anyway, the musical sins continued.  She made me download a whole bunch of crappy songs and burn them for her, because in Stratford in 2003, all they had was dial-up.  It was truly awful, like not even kidding awful.

We broke up three times total.  That is, she dumped me three times.

The first time we got back together, she emailed me saying she just finished eating a tub of Hagan Daas.  This guy I worked with says, “That means she wants you back, dude.”  She did, and we got back together.  I made her a mix CD with “Disturbing the Priest” by Black Sabbath on there.  Just a little surprise, you know?  Like a middle finger for dumping me in the first place and then eating a tub of ice cream and changing her mind.

The second time we broke up, I think she probably just got back together with me so she had a date to this one CJCS radio station charity event appearance.   That was actually cool, I got to throw a pie at her face.  Afterwards, I forced her to listen to Thick as a Brick in the car as sort of a retribution.  She had never heard Jethro Tull before in her life.  She didn’t get it.

There would be no third reconciliation.  She made up a bullshit story about moving to Vancouver, and I never saw her again.  The nice thing about that is that I’d never have to hear Moxy Fruvous, Puddle of Mudd, or fucking Gilbert O’Sullivan ever again.

Coda:

What followed this was actually one of the top five worst weeks of my life.  I was house and dog sitting for my parents, when I suddenly got a throat infection.  So I got dumped by this girl, I can’t swallow anymore, I’m taking care of two houses and a stubborn dog, that’s enough to handle already.  Schnauzers, you know how they are.  Well this one particular bad schnauzer is named Ani.  Ani pooped herself and got all the poop matted in her butt fur.  It was stuck in there so bad that I had to cut it out with a scissors, and then bathe her, all just minutes before I had to leave for work.  And then, just when I thought that the week was over and things would get back to normal soon, I busted my glasses.  I was scraping the ice off my windshield, and I slipped.  I somehow got caught onto the antenna which sprung loose and thwacked me right in the face.  My glasses, minus one lens, was down in the snow.  A fucking brilliant week.

REVIEW: Queens of the Stone Age – Rated R (deluxe edition)

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QUEENS OF THE STONE AGE – Rated R (2010 deluxe edition)

Any serious heavy rock fan worth his or her salt own at least one QOTSA album, usually Rated R. I mean, let’s face it…do you need integrity in your rock music? Could you give a crap about comercial stuff? Rated R is the album for you. While my personal preference is the Songs For The Deaf LP, Rated R is a close second.

This two disc edition is awesome and renders obselete any old versions you own. I happily gave away my previous UK only two-disc edition which came with the “Feel Good Hit Of The Summer” single and video. This new deluxe edition even replicates the colour scheme of the Rated X LP version which had the bonus track “Ode To Clarrisa” (included here).

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Every B-side from the Rated R years are included, live and studio. It also includes a concert, live at Reading from 2000, expertly captured by the BBC. That concert is awesome, containing QOTSA hits as well as the Desert Sessions classic “Millionaire”. (Later re-recorded by QOTSA on Songs For The Deaf as “You Think I Ain’t Worth a Dollar, But I Feel Like a Millionaire”. Personally, I don’t think you can go wrong with live QOTSA, and this isn’t just live QOTSA…this is live QOTSA with Nick Olivieri still in the band. I lost interest to a certain degree after Nick was fired.

What of the album itself? Well, of course this edition sounds awesome. You should know some of these songs, especially “Feel Good Hit”. You may have heard “Monsters In The Parasol” from Desert Sessions or the QOTSA live album. Mark Lanegan’s vocal turn on “In the Fade” is awesome, and forshadows that singer’s awesome work on Songs For The Deaf. “Leg Of Lamb” is awkward but undeniably catchy. My personal favourite track is “Better Living Through Chemistry”, exotic, atmospheric and grooving. Perfect for late nights with a beverage by the campfire.

Noteworthy cameo:  Rob Halford (who was not in Judas Priest at the time, but in fact was in Halford).  He’s on “Feel Good Hit of the Summer”.  I couldn’t hear it at first, but, according to Uncle Meat:

Yes you can…put the song on right now…I am serious…do it!!  Listen closely at about the 2:03 mark … the little cuh-caine … about 2:03 or 2:04. Go do it!

He’s right!  That’s Halford!

Pick this up, if you’re only going to own one QOTSA album, this one is fully loaded and well worth the cash!

5/5 stars…rated awesome