bob

Sunday Chuckle: The Stulk

My favourite single comic book growing up was Marvel Star Wars issue #47:  “Droid World”.  I have three copies today including the one I originally had back in 1981.  The post-Empire period is the one I remember most fondly, even though Han Solo was absent from the story, frozen in Jabba’s dungeon.  I took this issue everywhere with me.  It is tattered but still barely holding together.  At the lake or at home, I kept it near.  I tried to draw the robots inside, with the comic pages splashed open on the driveway.  Best friend friend Bob was with me with pen in hand.

I recently opened it again and came across a page that had to be Bob’s handiwork.  He was the destructive one, not me.  In ink he scrawled a word bubble on an ad page featuring the Hulk and a dollar bill with the face of Stan Lee.  Stan Lee + Hulk = Stulk?

Whatever the reason for this comic book graffiti, at least I have my two backup copies of “Droid World”.  I can’t remember him doing this but it had to be Bob!

 

#838: Wild Nights, Hot & Crazy Days

A sequel to #548:  Bad Boys

GETTING MORE TALE #838:  Wild Nights, Hot & Crazy Days

I couldn’t believe it when that red Daytona pulled into the cottage driveway.

“Is that Bob?” asked my dad.  It sure was!

Bob’s parents had a trailer not too far from our cottage, part way between Kincardine and Goderich.  It wasn’t unusual for him to drop in, but this time was different.  He was about to start a new job and wanted a little vacation before his first day.  He chose to come and stay at the cottage with us!

You might think it strange that he just showed up unannounced, but that’s not unusual for cottagers.  My dad’s friend Ron often showed up with his whole family, completely unexpected.  Bob had an open invitation; he was always welcome.

We raised hell that week.  Bob didn’t know, but my cousin Geoffrey and his family were also scheduled to visit.  Geoffrey was…how do I put this?  Hyperactive was the word they used, but at that age, he was…impossible!  I am glad he had since turned into a fine normal young man, but back then you could only take so much Geoff at a time!  Naturally, Bob and I ganged up against him, which was a nice change of pace!  It was during that week that Geoff infamously pierced his ear, while we took the blame for it.  I didn’t trick Geoff into anything, I just chickened out.  But that was just one of the many things we did that week.

Bob was obsessed with one album in particular that summer:  Extreme’s Pornograffitti.  In that Daytona, we all cruised endlessly to the sounds of that album.  My grandmother, in the cottage two doors down, was not impressed by our loud hootin’ and hollerin’.  I was at that age when I thought being loud and obnoxious was funny.

Pornograffitti is a special album, but that summer it was extra-special.  We played it on a loop, and I had just about every song memorized.  I asked for and received it for my birthday later that month.  While I liked all the rockers, “Hole Hearted” really hit me where it counts.  Its melancholy exuberance reflected how I felt at that time.  (I know that sounds like a contradiction!)  I was both excited and scared to be starting a new journey in my life, at University.  Fall was only a couple months away and I was nervous.  Whatever the case, the acoustic strumming of “Hole Hearted” was exactly how I felt, before I jumped into the deep end of school.

It was a beautiful summer, bright and warm.  Bob and I took the canoe out onto the lake.  There was a rock far from the shore, that was just inches below the water.  Finding it was the trick.  We were determined!  I knew roughly where the rock was located, but once you’re out on the featureless water, it was difficult to pinpoint.  Yet we found it relatively easily, by carefully looking for little crests of water where it rolled inches over that rock.

We dropped anchor and stepped onto the rock.  There was room for both of us.  Singing heavy metal songs at the top of our lungs, we both “mooned” the shore.  We were so far out that nobody would have been able to see.  I guess I’ve always been an exhibitionist.  But we did it — we mooned a crowded Lorne Beach.

As my dad likes to remind me, we could have been arrested!

Ah well.  “We didn’t,” was my answer then and now!

We had huge beach fires at night, and found plenty of activity during the days.  There was one afternoon that we took a trip up to Bruce Nuclear.  We usually did that once a year, to go on the tour.  There were actually two tours: one indoors through the visitor’s centre, and a bus tour through the grounds.   Bob came with the family on the bus tour.  And we were awful.  I don’t mind saying so.  That poor tour guide had to put up with our running commentary.  The grounds included nature preserves, and she was telling us about the wild deer that you could sometimes see in the trees to our right.

“Yeah, that one has two heads!” chuckled Bob out loud.  Chuckled, or heckled?  That’s up to interpretation.

I like to say that we were like Tom Green, but without the video camera.  If only we had one!  We were definitely a public nuisance.  And I’m definitely an old fart now, because I would find that behaviour annoying today.

But we didn’t hurt anybody.  Nobody got arrested.  We were loud and annoyed a few people, but at the time I thought that was very rock n’ roll.  We were ahead of our time.  My cousin started his summer by getting a hole in his ear and Bob and I had one last hoorah together.  That all sounds real good to me.