Joe Satriani

REVIEW: Joe Satriani – Dreaming #11 (1988 EP)

JOE SATRIANI – Dreaming #11 (1988 Relativity EP)

Don’t we all just miss the days when a major artist would just casually toss out a new EP between albums like this?  Following the Surfing With the Alien tour, Joe released a brand new song called “The Crush of Love” with three recent live tracks.  It went gold and hit the top 50 on Billboard.  You didn’t have to worry about pre-ordering it, and there was no “late tax” if you missed buying it right away.  That’s the way an EP by a major artist should be.

“The Crush of Love” is a magnificent track, with a overarching wah-wah hook that makes up the body of the song.  The rhythm section is Stu Hamm and Jonathan Mover on all tracks.  Hamm’s chunky bass is like that moment when you hit a big chunk of fudge in the middle of your ice cream.  Mover is the punctuation, while Joe indulges his melodic side with some wonderful lead.  In a Satriani composition, the lead guitar often takes the place of where the singer would normally deliver the hooks.  That’s “The Crush of Love” in a nutshell.  It’s more like Surfing material, rather than the Flying In A Blue Dream sound that Joe would explore 18 months later.

Onto the live tracks, all recorded by the King Biscuit Flower Hour in San Diego, June 11 1988.

“Ice Nine” from Surfing begins with Joe introducing his band, a symbol of their importance.  Then humbly he adds, “Thank you all for coming.  My name’s Joe.”  Onto the thumping “Ice Nine”, which Stu Hamm turns into a bass showcase for impressive fingerwork without overplaying.  Mover perfectly complements him, nailing the moments the drums need to add some explosions, without being too showy.  Meanwhile, Satriani’s causing explosions of his own, but it always comes back to song’s main melody.  Yes, Joe plays the crap out of this song, but it is indeed a song.

Joe takes us back to his debut album Not Of This Earth (which was reissued in 1988 with similar cover art to Dreaming #11) for the last two tracks.  The lengthy “Memories” opens with a guitar exploration, but quickly turns into a catchy little running guitar melody.  It’s an aggressive number and one of Joe’s more challenging to the uninitiated.  As always, Hamm’s playing his mindblowing and catchy.

Finally, “Hordes of Locusts” has a slower grinding groove that ends the EP on an ominous musical note.  Mover and Hamm largely stick to the groove while Joe shreds and strafes.

At over 23 minutes of exclusive music, this EP was well worth the value.  No wonder it went gold.

4/5 stars

REVIEW: Joe Satriani – Surfing With the Alien (1987, 1999 remaster, 2017 RSD 2 LP reissue)

JOE SATRIANI  – Surfing With the Alien (1987, 1999 Sony remaster, 2017 RSD Epic 2 LP reissue)

On October 15 1987, the face of rock music was  shaken when a little instrumental album called Surfing With the Alien started making waves.  The record eventually went platinum, and its songs found itself used on radio and TV for decades to come.  Why?  Possibly because of Joe’s impeccable attention to songwriting.  Though his guitar playing put him on the map, it was his knack for writing catchy rock songs that made this album so special.  Satriani’s songs are written as if the lead guitar is the lead singer.  There are verses and choruses, and attention to structure and melody.  That must be why Surfing With the Alien was nominated for two Grammys in 1988.

Opening with the title track, a striking little chugging riff starts the show.  But then Joe’s melodic lead guitar kicks in, and you realize it’s exactly like if a singer was leading the show!  You can literally sing along to Joe’s guitar and a little wah-wah effect doesn’t hurt.  And then the shred begins, and you feel like, “OK, I get it now.  This guy is an actual genius.”

Yet it’s all accessible.  He may throw in licks as fast as greased lightning, but you can still follow.  Your brain still picks out notes and melodies that satisfy those musical needs.

The cool “Ice 9” is a funky groove (Joe on bass) with a slick melody on top.  Joe can work with mid-tempo grooves just as well as high-speed blazes.  Solos with different sounds and guitar tones add diversity.  A fun tune, but the third song “Crushing Day” has more tension and urgency as the tempo is turned up once again.  The variety of solos, melodies and riffs in one short song is quite remarkable.  Joe’s guitar tone is bright and shimmery, like the Silver Surfer himself.

Incidentally, regarding the striking album cover featuring the titular Marvel character from Silver Surfer #1 (1982), Joe lost the licensing for him at some point in the 2000’s.  This is why the 2017 RSD reissue has different artwork, without him.  (Look carefully at the new art, and you will see that they replaced the yellow streaks with yellow guitar picks!)  Hopefully Joe doesn’t feel too badly about losing the Surfer art.  Marvel comics repaid him for the popularisation of the character outside the comic world by naming a planet after him.

The beautiful ballad “Always With Me, Always With You” might be considered the most famous song.  It received three Grammy nominations in three separate years (live versions, you see) and was prominently featured in an American Dad episode.  It is hard to describe exactly what makes it so special, without you listening for yourself.  The guitar is lyrical and memorable, and it worked so much better than it would have with a lead vocal.  This is an instrumental ballad, made magical.

“Satch Boogie” is arguably just as popular.  Deep Purple played it during the brief period when Joe Satriani was in the band post-Blackmore and pre-Morse.  It has been used on TV, radio and video games.  It is indeed a boogie!  It taps into the Van Halen vibe a-la “Hot For Teacher”, but burns straight through without stopping to talk.  Mid-song, there’s a jaw-dropping solo that is pure tapping nirvana.

An ominous and brief interlude (“Hill of the Skull”) paints an apocalyptic picture.  The programmed drums don’t detract, as it is all about the tale that the guitar is telling, with layered wails.  This serves to set up “Circles”, one of the most interesting tracks.  Echo is employed to great effect on this mellow but dark ballad.  Without pause, the striking chimes of “Lords of Karma” enter the picture, a pounding guitar rocker with drums by Jeff Campitelli.  (Drums on this album are a mix of live and programmed.)  Much like “Crushing Day”, “Lords of Karma” is a bit faster and more intense.

A lovely classical sounding interlude called “Midnight” sets up the final track.  “Midnight” features techniques that an expert will have to identify, except to say it sounds remarkable and innovative.  The spotlight is never really on Joe’s fingers though – just on the notes and sounds he magically produces with them (and an array of effects).  Then the thud of bass opens “Echo”, the last song on this important album.  It’s unlike the previous ones, with the bass so prominent.  The song sounds as if it’s always just bubbling under.  Perhaps it would come as a surprise that the final song on this album of guitar showcases is so much about feel and restraint.

That’s one thing about Surfing that does make it special.  Like any good album, it is sequenced as a full listen, not as a collection of shreds.  Even without the shreds, it’s still not bad.

That’s what the 2017 Record Store Day deluxe vinyl edition is all about.  A bonus LP is included, with all the lead guitar stripped off.  This allows you, the ambitious home player, to try to solo over the bed tracks.  For the rest of us, it just allows us to listen a little bit differently to an album that is very familiar.

The drums seem more prominent on the title track, allowing us to better hear Jeff Campitelli’s fills.  Mostly though, you can still bang your head, and maybe sing along to an imaginary vocal melody.  “Ice 9” is particularly fun in this guise, sounding a bit like an “80s dance remix” even though it’s not.  “Always With Me, Always With You” is still delicate and beautiful.  You get the picture.  These tracks, though needing the lead guitar to be whole, are perfectly listenable without.  Only “Circles” and “Midnight” seem completely barren.  You don’t have to be a guitar player to enjoy this bonus record.  You just have to be interested in music, and how it is constructed in the mix.  You can hear melodies and accents, even on “Always With Me”, that you might have missed on the album version all these years!

There are many ways to acquire copies of this impactful album, that opened the charts to Steve Vai and others a few years later.  There is a 1999 Sony remaster with liner notes and nice packaging.  There is a deluxe edition with a live DVD from the 1988 Montreux Jazz Festival.  The version with the most actual audio tracks, however, is the limited 2017 Record Store Day reissue.  You don’t get the lovely Silver Surfer artwork, but you do get the bonus record of stripped tracks, and red & yellow coloured vinyl.

No matter what choice you make, Surfing With the Alien in any form is an essential addition to a serious rock fan’s collection.  Some may argue it’s the best rock instrumental guitar album ever made.

5/5 stars

 

REVIEW: Joe Satriani – Joe Satriani (1984 EP, 2014 RSD reissue)

JOE SATRIANI – Joe Satriani (1984 Rubina EP, 2014 Relative Record Store Day 180 gram reissue)

In 1984, The Squares guitarist Joe Satriani quietly put out a low-key instrumental EP on his own label, Rubina records.  How limited was the release?  An exact figure is hard to find, but original copies today run about $500.  Four of the five tracks were reissued on Joe’s Time Machine album, but the fifth track’s master tape was damaged.

This is a release most people assumed they’d never own without parting with some serious dough.  Then in 2014, for the 30th anniversary, the original Joe Satriani EP was reissued for Record Store Day.  Unfortunately, due to the lack of liner notes, we don’t know how this was accomplished.  The damaged track, “Talk To Me” is intact and sounds just fine.  Was it sourced from an original vinyl?  Was it restored?  You can now experience a 180 gram “replication” of the original 1984 EP that started it all.

Guitar Player magazine went nuts for the EP, which is remarkably performed entirely on guitar.  Every instrument you hear is a guitar.  The “drums” are Joe tapping on his pickups.  The “bass” is a detuned six string.  The sound effects and other “instruments” are Joe wringing every sound he could think of from his instrument.  It’s truly innovative.  It’s even pretty listenable.

The record opens with “Talk To Me”, which could be seen as a precursor to Joe’s uptempo guitar anthems like “One Big Rush”.  In fact, there’s a familiar lick in this track that Joe used as a main hook on Flying in a Blue Dream‘s “Back to Shalla-Bal”.  This track, thought long lost, is probably the best of the five and most indicative of where Joe was headed.

“Dreaming Number Eleven” is an interesting song, with a suitably dream-like opening that soon gives way to a funky beat complete with “slap bass”.  The experimental side of Joe manifests in the sound of a roaring train, all performed on guitar.

Side two commences with the light and tropical “Banana Mango”, a breezy track with blazing speed laid overtop.  This contrasts with the nuclear “I Am Become Death”, a gothic dirge.  There is a middle section that sounds like the wind blowing through a wasteland.  Then, a backwards guitar section that foreshadows part of Flying in a Blue Dream.  Finally, “Saying Goodbye” is a brief but tender ballad as Joe is known to do.  It is constructed from gentle volume swells.

It’s clear from this record that Joe was going to be a formidable composer, let alone player.  Just as interesting as the guitar work are the arrangements.  They are all meticulously constructed, and though some tracks are more listenable than others, they all make up a snapshot of who Joe Satriani would become.  Within three years of its release, Joe would change rock history by Surfing With the Alien, his talents now fully expressing themselves.  The Joe Satriani EP is an experimental prototype to the genius to come.

3/5 stars

#911: The Pros and Cons of Rediscovery

RECORD STORE TALES #911: The Pros and Cons of Rediscovery

Ever have an artist that you like listening to, but have neglected for many years?  It happens.  Maybe they appeal to you only when you’re in certain moods, or you have forgotten why you originally liked them.  Or perhaps the albums got buried in a corner and you forgot about them.  There are numerous reasons why any serious music fan might not have heard an artist they like in a long time.

Whatever your reasons are, I assume they are good ones.  When I neglect an artist for a long period of time, I blame it on the haphazard way I’ve ripped my CDs to my digital library.  An ongoing project due to the thousands of albums in the house (and more arriving every week), I have not done it alphabetically.  I tried doing it that way, but it was tremendously monotonous, so I resumed “ripping what I feel like” instead.  And if I didn’t feel like listening to somebody, I didn’t rip it, and often forgot about it.

I’ll give you an example:  Joe Satriani.  Recently I was in the mood to listen to all-instrumental music for a day.  I went to my Satriani folder and only found five discs inside.  I knew I had more, but for whatever reason, they never made it onto my hard drive.  I had guesses as to why.  They were albums I wasn’t as familiar with.  I obviously ripped the familiar stuff that I wanted to hear rather than the stuff I needed to spend time with and grow into.

“I forgot about this song,” I mumbled during “Up in the Sky” from Crystal Planet.  I remember buying that CD.  It was 1998 and I was living with T-Rev, and I was excited about new Satch.  I wanted to touch base with my instrumental roots that began when I bought Steve Vai’s Passion and Warfare back in the summer of 1990.  I also made sure we carried Satch in-store.  It sold well enough for us, but I remember being underwhelmed listening to it.  I couldn’t distinguish a lot of the songs, and I found it a bit overlong.  I guess I rarely revisited it for those reasons.

Getting out Crystal Planet again, I might not have been wrong, but there are some cool songs buried within.  The title track has a really cool rhythmic, metallic riff.  “House Full of Bullets” For ballads, “Love Thing” is pretty sweet.  There is good stuff here that I missed out on for a few years due to neglect.

Other artists that I have recently dove back into include Steve Vai and Jethro Tull.  Undeniably, two more challenging artists.  Their music is not designed for simplicity.  I’ve always found Vai’s Fire Garden difficult to digest.  A single disc, it was originally intended to be a double, but still contains the same music because Steve discovered it would all fit on a modern CD.  It’s dense.  As such, it never made it onto the hard drive.  Until now.  Same with Tull’s A Passion Play.

There’s a negative side to this rediscovery as well.

Upon playing these old Satriani, Tull and Vai albums once more, I started looking up their discographies.  Reading about the albums I had, and the ones I didn’t have.

“Oh!” I exclaimed.  “Satriani has a box of all his studio albums plus a bonus disc!”

“There’s a Thick As A Brick deluxe box now!”

“I still need to get an original vinyl Flex-Able Leftovers to get all the tracks!”

Don’t worry.  I didn’t order all that stuff.  The only purchase I made was an RSD reissue of Satriani’s first self-titled EP.  Original copies go for $500, but I found a reasonably priced RSD copy.  It was within budget so that’s on its way.  And that’s it.  I didn’t go hog wild.

Yet.

Lockdown Video #7: Mail Day!

#827: Freestylin’ 5 – Brave New World

GETTING MORE TALE #827: Freestylin’ 5 – Brave New World

Oh, how so much has changed in such a short time. The conveniences I once took for granted are now dearly missed. I feel as if I am living in the early chapters of an old undiscovered dystopian fiction novel. Then there is the paranoia I feel when we get such mixed signals from all around. Don’t go out! But this store is offering pickups. Wear a mask! But only if you’re not able to be more than 2 metres away from the next person. Or not. And what kind of masks? It’s a surreal day that ends with a phone call with your mother about what kind of mask she’s wearing these days.

Look at classic science fiction.  There are very few that feature gloves as part of regular daily attire that are not dystopias!

Because I feel it’s appropriate, I’m listening to Kilroy Was Here by Styx for inspiration while I write.

“We all need control.  I need control.  We all need control.”

And to think we were led to believe that the future dystopia would involve robots and rock & roll rebels.

On the other hand, I feel like I’ve been rehearsing for this my whole life.  In spite of losing hundreds of books and movies in a recent purge (to be discussed in full in another chapter), I still have dozens unwatched and unread here to enjoy.  I was saving them for the proverbial “rainy day”.  Who was to know it was going to be three months of rain?

As a classic introvert, I tended to spend most of my time indoors anyway, nose buried in a laptop, headphones on.  I never particularly sought busy weekends of going out and being social.  I left that to Jen while I did my own thing.  She’s managing as well as anyone else.  What I really miss are the luxuries.  Dropping in at the parents house to steal groceries from their fridge for a visit.  Going out for a medium rare steak when you’re craving it.  Wandering the aisles at the record store.  Even ordering from Amazon.

I am a creature of habit, but with more emphasis on spending locally in social media, a thought occurred to me.  Why am I relying on Amazon for music?  We have Encore Records here in town, and they have been advertising that they ship.  The other day, John at 2loud2oldmusic mentioned that there was a new Joe Satriani coming out.  I liked the track he posted, so I checked and Encore had it in stock.

I don’t believe in ordering “just one” of anything so I browsed a bit and quickly filled my cart.  I searched for “Coverdale” (hey, you never know if something previously unheard will pop up) and their very smart search engine returned me a hit for all his stuff plus some related albums like Vandenberg.  Why not?  It looked like it’s probably one of those sweet Rock Candy reissues.  Love/Hate’s Blackout in the Red Room is an album I’ve wanted for 30 years but never pulled the trigger on until now.  It has three bonus tracks thanks to Rock Candy’s fine series of reprints.  Finally, King Kobra’s second CD Thrill of a Lifetime made it an even four.

I picked my shipping, hit the Paypal button and later the next day they had my order processed.  I’m going to have new music this week!  And plenty of it too!

New music helps keep up the illusion that things are still “normal”, while they are actually anything but.  You can pretend for a while.  I’ll sanitize the parcel when it arrives, a stark foreshadow of what the “new” normal will be like.  I’ll wash my hands when I’ve removed and discarded the cellophane.  Only then will I allow myself to enjoy the CDs without the reminders.

A wise person recently told me that now is the time to spread kindness.  I’m trying to remember that.  Part of that includes being kind to yourself.  I bought myself some CDs.  Don’t be afraid to treat yourself if you can.  I know we’re not all in a situation where we are financially able to do that.  I’m part of an essential service.  As much as I resented that at first, I’m really grateful for it.

As I try to be kind to myself, a dark side of me whispers in my ear.  “You’re being careless.  Everything you let enter the house is a threat.  You already suffer asthma.  You’re not paying attention to the statistics.  You should be working from home.”

We are all facing our own personal struggles right now.  I know a few people who have it bad, real bad, and I can’t do a damn thing to help them except be here to listen.  It’s a small gesture, but can be a huge one in some circumstances.  Don’t underestimate your own personal value as a human being that can listen.

My hopes are high that we will get through this together.  Together, separately.  Humans have a remarkable capacity to work together when we want to.  I don’t dare put a timeline on this in my mind.  I try to take it one day and one week at a time.  We have made it through another week, and all we have to do now is keep on keepin’ on.

So keep on keepin’ on, my friends.

REVIEW: Joe Satriani, Eric Johnson, Steve Vai – G3 Live in Concert (1997)

JOE SATRIANI, ERIC JOHNSON, STEVE VAI – G3 Live in Concert (1997 Epic)

It took me 21 years to finally buy this CD.  Why?  It was hard to get excited about three live Satch songs, three live Vai songs, and so on.  But a collector needs to catch ’em all, and it’s actually a pretty fabulous listen throughout.

Joe Satriani opens the set with “Cool No. 9” from his self-titled blues album.  Blues to Joe Satriani is a different kind of animal.  It’s trick-laden and thick with notes, although this doesn’t mean light on feel.  His landmark classic “Flying in a Blue Dream” is more what people expect from Joe.  I like to describe his albums as regular vocal rock records, just with the lead guitar singing the melody instead of a person.  I think I stole that description from Joe himself.  You can’t really call “Flying” a ballad but it sure is epic.  Finally it’s “Summer Song”, Joe’s big 1992 hit from The Extemist.  It doesn’t get more accessible for instrumental guitar rock.  Joe’s actually the perfect artist to open this CD for that reason.  His music, more than most instrumentalists, is door-opening for listeners.

The sublime Eric Johnson is in the middle position.  “Zap” is a tour-de-force of instrumental prowess, built into the framework of a nice shuffle.  Though you can certainly bop along if you like, the musicianship here is not for the timid.  “Camel’s Night Out” is a busy groover.  One of Johnson’s best tunes ever has to be “Manhattan”, which goes down unbelievably smooth live.  The playing is lyrical and warm.

Steve Vai’s threesome includes “Answers” and “For the Love of God” from Passion & Warfare.  “Answers” is one of Vai’s more challenging songs, fast and funky with weird tones and melodies.  This is probably the most blistering song on the whole disc, including a solo that isn’t in the studio version.  For all that, “For the Love of God” is the most awe-inspiring.  This ballad puts the passion in Passion and Warfare.  This is the one with Steve’s soul in it, every bend and every beat.  “The Attitude Song” is an oldie from the first Vai album Flex-able, just a solid rocker with some shredding.  Live it is much heavier than the tinny studio cut.

Finally, there is a trio of tunes with the three maestros playing together, as is the G3 tradition.  The blues standard “Going Down” is a typical jam, with Joe on vocals.  Then a tribute to Steve’s mentor, Frank Zappa, on “My Guitar Wants to Kill Your Mama” with everyone singing…and shredding.  Finally, Jimi Hendrix’s “Red House” finishes the CD with Eric Johnson on lead vocals.  Of these three tracks, “My Guitar Wants to Kill Your Mama” smokes the other two.

May as well pick up the original G3 CD if you find it in the wild.  It’s good stuff.

3.5/5 stars

REVIEW: Chickenfoot – “Divine Termination” (2017 single)

CHICKENFOOT – “Divine Termination” (2017 Edel coloured 7″ single)

For a band with only two albums, Chickenfoot sure do milk it.  After a single debut album, they did a live DVD called Get Your Buzz On.  Two albums in came a live album called Chickenfoot LV.  (Get it?  LV can mean both “live” and “55”, Sammy’s notable hit.)  Then another package called Best + Live, mixing the “greatest hits” with a new song and an audio release of Get Your Buzz On — which, by the way, was mined for five songs already on the previous LV album!

It’s all too much.  We like Chickenfoot here; really we do, but enough is enough.  Instead of buying all that stuff, we decided to just go for a 7″ single for the one “new” song called “Divine Termination”.  That seemed the most logical purchasing option, all things considered.  It’s a nicely packaged 45, on clear pink coloured vinyl.  The side A label depicts Sammy Hagar and Michael Anthony.  Side B has Joe Satriani and Chad Smith.  It feels nice and heavy in hand.

Unfortunately, it’s not all rose-coloured.  These guys had five years to come up with one good new song.  “Divine Termination” is not it.  Although it does have a neat, vintage sounding Deep Purple riff, the Chickenfoot hooks and harmonies are missing.  The chorus has no meat.  “Divine Termination” is forgettable even though Joe Satriani plays as brilliantly as ever.

On the flipside is another release of “Highway Star”, the Deep Purple cover.  It’s available on Best + Live, but its first issue was on Re-Machined, the Deep Purple tribute album.  Too bad the B-side isn’t something exclusive, but it does blow away the A-side.  Listen to Joe somehow make his guitar resemble Jon Lord’s Hammond Organ.

Maybe Chickenfoot were too creatively spent after years of solo and other projects to come up with a memorable new song.  There’s talk of a third Chickenfoot album in the future.  If so, it has to be better than “Divine Termination”.

2/5 stars

 

#729.4: LeBrain’s Unorthodox Top 10 of 2018

Given everything that happened in 2018 (cancer, more cancer, death), I wasn’t as tuned-in to rock and roll as I normally would be.  I missed a lot of new releases, some on purpose, others by accident.  Therefore, this year I’m doing something different from my Top Lists of 2018.  Before we get to the lists, let’s talk about the past 12 months.

2018: RELEASES IN A NUTSHELL

January saw new CDs by Joe Satriani and Corrosion of Conformity, finally reunited with Pepper Keenan on vocals.  There was new Loudness, and a release by Beth Hart & Joe Bonamassa.  Def Leppard had a low-key EP exclusive to iTunes (The Lost Session).  In February we got the return of the mighty Saxon.  March was a big month, featuring Judas Priest, Stone Temple Pilots, Jack White and Myles Kennedy.  The rock kept rolling in April.  The big metal one here was Stryper‘s God Damn Evil, along with new Godsmack and Thirty Seconds to Mars.  During this time I was personally only able to get the Stryper and Priest.

As temperatures warmed in May, Bad Wolves came out with their novelty cover of “Zombie” by the Cranberries which became a predictable hit.  Frank Turner and Five Finger Death Punch also released new records in May.  News in June was unfortunately dominated by Kanye West and Drake, but don’t forget Ghost, The Darkness (with their first live) and Nine Inch Nails!  In July, Halestorm came out with the critically acclaimed Vicious.  Alice in Chains made their long awaited return in August with Rainier Fog, an album I bought but have not yet fully penetrated.

Autumn began with the biggest name in rock and roll, Sir Paul McCartney himself.  Slash, Paul Simon, Lenny Kravitz and Suicidal Tendencies had records out on the same day.  VoiVod, Therapy?, Metric and even Rod Stewart returned in September as well.  October featured two big soundtracks:  Bohemian Rhapsody, and A Star Is Born.  Ace Frehley, Greta Van Fleet, and The Struts came out with new music the same month.  In November we got Mark Knopfler, the Smashing Pumpkins, Ted Nugent and yet another live Beth Hart.  The month closed with the latest Def Leppard best-of.  December boasted Metal Church but not a lot of rock.  Thank the Metal Gods that Max the Axe swooped in with Status Electric to save the year.

I spent most of 2018 checked out mentally.  I missed most of the new releases and have a lot to catch up on.  The summer was spent on Highway 401, and a flash drive loaded with music helped me survive it.  New releases were not the be-all and end-all for me.  Therefore, my Top Albums of 2018 list includes some oldies that just helped me get through it all.  It seems right to do it this way, since I can’t really do a well-curated list of new releases without absorbing them properly.

TOP 10 ALBUMS THAT GOT ME THROUGH 2018

  1. Blotto – Combo Akimbo (1982)
  2. Max the Axe – Status Electric (2018)
  3. Ghost – Prequelle (2018)
  4. The Darkness – Live at Hammersmith  (2018)
  5. Judas Priest – Firepower (2018)
  6. Blotto – Tonight At Toad’s (1982)
  7. Ace Frehley – Spaceman (2018)
  8. Joe Satriani, Eric Johnson & Steve Vai – G3 Live in Concert (1997)
  9. The Sword – Used Future (2018)
  10. Jeff Wayne’s Musical Version of The War of the Worlds (1978)

 

HONORABLE MENTIONS

  1. Fu Manchu – Clone of the Universe (2018)
  2. Hello Hopeless – Dark Pasts, Brighter Futures (2018)
  3. Mike Slayen – Dude: A Guitar CD (2018)

TOP MOVIES OF 2018

Can’t do a movie list this year.  Not possible.  I didn’t see ’em all, but one movie blew away all the rest.

  1. Avengers: Infinity War

A PEEK AT 2019

What’s hot for 2019?

  1. Star Wars:  Episode IX
  2. Motley Crue‘s long awaited movie The Dirt, and new songs too.
  3. Dream Theater – Distance Over Time
  4. Avengers:  Endgame
  5. Queensryche – The Verdict

Stay tuned….

 

 

 

REVIEW: Derek Smalls – Smalls Change (Meditations Upon Aging)

DEREK SMALLS – Smalls Change (Meditations Upon Aging) (2018 BMG)

So very desperately, I wanted this to be good.  Alas, it is very very remotely far from anything good.  It’s not the line between clever and stupid; it’s just foul smelling putridity.  Spinal Tap’s bassist Derek Smalls, who might be best known for his “Jazz Odyssey”, cannot hold a tune.  There must be a reason why Smalls sings the fewest lead vocals of the three Spinal Tap members.  He’s all but unlistenable.

The gimmick on Smalls Change is twofold.  It’s a collection of songs about getting old, which is a crappy concept to start with.  There is nothing wrong with songs that have some life experience, but who wants to listen to a tune about an MRI?  Who wants to think about it all?  The second gimmick is the roster of guests:  old fogie buddies like David Crosby, Steve Lukather, Paul Shaffer, and so on.  There are few somewhat younger folks here too, such as Dweezil Zappa, Joe Satriani, Chad Smith, and Phil X.  But the guest stars can’t save it.  Admittedly, the lyrics are sometimes funny.  “Butt Call” is about butt dialing!  “Nobody speaks, handset by the cheeks.”  “Memo to Willie” is about erectile disfunction (get it?), a subject I’m sure you like singing about as well.  Then there’s “Gummin’ the Gash” which you can figure out for yourself.

The biggest problem is the voice, which is a cross between a garbage disposal and Otto the bus driver.*  No amount of Spinal Tap references can save it.  When the singer cannot sing, then Houston we have a problem.  And the thing goes on for 14 tuneless tracks!  An hour of gargling words out in an English accent.  Without a David St. Hubbins or a Nigel Tufnel to carry the melody, Smalls is sunk.  When there is an actual melody, that is.

We sadly have to proclaim Smalls Change as the worst, most unlistenable album of 2018.  Clearly, a lot of time and money went into making it, but don’t invest any of yours.

1/5 stars

* Yes, of course we know that Derek Smalls is played by Simpsons actor Harry Shearer.  If Otto was British, this could have been his album.