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INVESTIGATIVE REPORT & REVIEW: Spastic Phono Band – “Wings Under Japan” 7″ single – What’s the story behind this band?

SPASTIC PHONO BAND – “Wings Under Japan” (1980 7″ single, Slipped Disc Records)

INVESTIGATIVE REPORT – 45 years ago…

[Editor’s note:  the authors of this report have asked to retain their anonymity.] 

The year:  The harsh winter of 1980, remembered for its deep cold and snow.   In the realm of popular music, all four Beatles were still alive, even though the band had been broken up for a decade.  One of the Beatles soon found themselves in a wee bit of trouble.  This trouble would spill all over the world news, causing rippling effects and ramifications far beyond the shores of England, for that winter in New York State, a band would go on to record a song….

The Beatle in trouble was the still-babyfaced Paul McCartney.  It was no secret that he was already known for enjoying the green leaf.   Back in 1972, McCartney was arrested in Sweden for possession of Lady Ganja.  He was released without charges at that time, but his reputation was now cemented.  McCartney wanted to book a Japanese tour in the mid-70s, but the country was very strict about illegal substances and refused Paul permission to play.  The fans in Japan would have to do without.

Finally, in 1980, Japan had a change of heart and granted permission for Paul McCartney and Wings to tour in the Land of the Rising Sun.

He just needed to make sure he packed appropriately for the trip.

Paul McCartney is an undisputed musical genius.  His songs will last 100 years.  That does not mean that Paul always used his head.  Despite the scrutiny he was bound to experience upon entering Japan, he decided to bring a stash with him.  He was arrested upon discovery at the Narita Airport with 220 grams of Hawaiian green.  Reportedly, he didn’t even attempt to hide the electric lettuce, just packing it in his carry-on bag with his clothing.  Paul subsequently spent 10 days in the keiji shisetsu (刑務施設); actually the Tokyo Metropolitan Police Department.  Teenage girls numbering about 50 serenaded the station during Prisoner 22’s incarceration.

Unfortunately for Paul, the nature of this arrest and jailing far away from home meant headlines all over the world.  “PAUL IN CHAINS” and “EX-BEATLE ARRESTED IN JAPAN” went the articles, along with a photo of McCartney being escorted by Japanese officials.  It was huge news, especially in the UK where it became a bit of a media circus.

The judge in the case determined that McCartney brought the drugs for personal use and not trafficking, and decided that Paul had spent enough time in jail.  He was taken to the airport, and flown to Holland, where he was (perhaps surprisingly) refused entry.  He still had time for a chat with the press.

“How did you get out?” asked the reporter.

“Walking on foot,” answered Paul in typical cheeky Beatle humour.

The experience was “a drag” for Paul.  “I was woken up at six in the morning, then had to sit cross-legged for a roll-call. It was like Bridge on the River Kwai. They shouted out ’22’ in Japanese, and I had to shout back, ‘Hai!'”

The 11 date Japanese tour was cancelled at the cost of 2.5 million dollars and 90,000 tickets.

Did he learn from his experience?

“Now I have made up my mind never to touch the stuff again. From now on, all I’m going to smoke is straightforward [cigarettes]. No more pot.”  He later acknowledged his own stupidity.  “Well, to this day I have no idea what made me do it. I don’t know if it was just arrogance or what. Maybe I thought that they wouldn’t open my suitcase.  I can’t put myself back into that mindset now…to this day I have no idea what made me do it.”

Over in America, shortly after shoveling out from a massive dumping of overnight snow, a young songwriter named “Vic Trola” was inspired to write a song.  At least that’s how the credits read on the actual record.  A recent online theory postulated that “Vic Trola” was indeed a pseudonym, but these writings are mostly found in conspiracy theory discussions.  A fringe group that splintered off the main conspiracy theory group added that “Vic” was short for “Victoria”, not “Victor” as previously assumed.   These theories are largely dismissed by the other groups.  Our own extensive research has failed to unearth any other compositions written by Trola; just the one that you are reading about today.  We do know, thanks to documents obtained in the process of researching this article, that after catching their breath from shoveling the drive on that cold winter day, Trola went inside and began writing.  The surviving notes from Vic Trola’s respirologist confirm these facts.

Vic Trola’s song, as it evolved into its final form, was the product of on-stage gigging by the mysterious Spastic Phono Band, and that is where our story really begins.  Though their names are now lost to time, and their relationship to Vic Trola is clouded, we do know that they consisted of a tight rhythm section.  Both the drummer and bassist were exceptional.  They boasted a dual guitar configuration, and multiple lead singers including one female vocalist who appears prominently on their sole recording called “Wings Under Japan”.

The Spastic Phono Band had experience.  They had already been working on a set of originals and comedic covers.  Favourite hits by Santana and the Might Zep were endowed with new witty words, and they found an audience who shared their sense of musical comicality.  Encouraged by the audience reception to these songs, the Spastic Phono Band turned their attention to the hot news of the day:  Paul’s arrest in Japan.  Presumably with Vic Trola’s lyrical input, they started playing bits of his Beatles and Wings hits in a medley.  Egged on by the crowd, and adding throwaway lyrics here and there, the song “sort of wrote itself”, according to a maraca player who claims to have been there at the time (and requested complete anonymity).  It took only three or four shows for the song to come together as we know it today.  The Paul medley became an instant live hit.  The crowds ate it up.  They learned the words, sang along and shouted for more!  Clearly, the song needed to be recorded in a studio, and put out on a record.

Unfortunately for the band and Vic Trola, who were based out of Liverpool (New York, pop. 2400), there were few studios around within the reasonable driving distance of a beaten-up touring van.  Their studio of choice would be unavailable for three weeks, and time was of the essence.  The Paul story was hot now, not later!  Even if they recorded the song immediately, it would have to be mastered and pressed at a record plant, meaning they had to act immediately.  The scarcity of nearby studios presented a challenge.  Would these young musical minds be able to publish their Paul pastiche in time?

As they used to say, the Spastic Phono Band let their fingers do the walking:  They picked up the phone and eventually connected to something that somehow passed as a recording studio.  The old schoolhouse that they booked was certainly was not conceived as a studio when it was built in the last decade of the 1800s.  The top floor housed the recording space, but in a decidedly inconvenient design and safety choice, it was only accessible via an outdoor fire escape.  All the band’s equipment had to be hauled up the emergency exit:  drum after drum after drum, followed by amp after amp.  Bags were passed from vehicle to musician and up the fire escape, which wobbled with every tentative step.  Also, it was winter.  Members of the band were not sure if they were going to survive the combination of snow and ice, metal steps, and gravity.   To our great fortune, they did.

The studio owner was also the engineer, and his soul still lived in the 1950s.  He didn’t grasp the nuance, or understand the Spastic Phono Band’s particular brand of humour.  He did, however, have a friendly personality and got along with the band.  A good sounding record began to take shape on tape.  The band nicknamed the engineer “Eddie”, a reference to a classic Leave It To Beaver character, Eddie Haskell.  Eddie’s studio had all the necessary equipment (minus an elevator).  He even had an ARP synthesizer which can be heard on two segments of the recording: “Silly Drug Laws“ and “Banned in Japan”.  Though the band did not have the budget to spend more time in the studio to do some further work on the guitars, the band climbed down the fire escape holding in their mittens a reel-to-reel tape of their hard-earned work.  Physicists specializing in the behaviour of water at low temperatures speculate that the tape was almost dropped once on the way down, but saved from an icy fate in the snow.

The schoolhouse was demolished in 2025 at 131 years old.

Though recorded, the song still had to be mastered and cut to vinyl.  With time slipping away, and Paul McCartney finally starting to experience a decline in the media frenzy over his Japanese vacation in the big house, the Spastic Phono Band were in an ever-increasing time crunch.  Their song, heavily dependent on McCartney’s imprint in the public consciousness, had to make its way to a physical record that you could buy.  Their preferred manufacturer was fully booked and the band could not wait any longer.  The track was complete, mixed and ready to be mastered…but where?

Through furious searching and some tense bidding on eBay, we have obtained some of the logs, unfortunately anonymous, detailing the following sequence of events of the recording:

Monday.

Tempus is fugiting.  Much to our dismay, the cute Beatle’s troubles in the Far East are rapidly becoming old news.  Also with windchill, it is about four degrees today.

The Paul story was soon displaced by other current events.  The Iranian Revolution made fresh headlines, and soon came the hostage crisis.  Front pages were dominated by the tense 444 day crisis, during which 66 Americans were held hostage at the US Embassy in Tehran.  As it happens, another band in the same area as the Spastic Phono Band, a trio, were working on a song referencing these events.  One of the songs in their regular set, popular in some of the local Irish venues around the area, was Jerry Jeff Walker’s “London Homesick Blues”.  It featured the unique chorus of “I wanna go home with the armadillo.”  (Who wouldn’t?)   This was easily adapted into “I’ve had enough of the Ayatollah”.  The clever lyrical substitute worked, and the band approached the club owners documented only as “The Brothers Three”.  The Brothers actually owned three clubs, which seemed poetic.  The Brothers Three liked the song, feeling that it tapped into the sentiment of the day.  The reached into their pockets and financed a studio recording of the Walker cover.  They were now in the record business.

The Spastic Phono Band, who were familiar with the trio in question, learned of this.  Realizing it was a good idea, they decided to make their own pitch to the Brothers Three.

Wednesday.

They went for it.  Sure, they argued a bit and the oldest one may have smacked the youngest one, but we did get a unanimous decision.  The Brothers Three are going to allow us to use the disc maker where they pressed the Ayatollah record.  

The record would be made in a little postage-stamp sized record plant (if you could call it that) in Connecticut.

Tuesday. 

One of the Brothers Three picked me up in his MG convertible today.  We took the tape to a dumpy little record pressing company.  Mission accomplished.  We ordered 300 copies to be made.   Then headed home, but my companion driving the convertible decided to put the top down.  It may be February thaw, but it was so cold I still don’t have feeling back in my nose.  Considering calling an otolaryngologist.

Frozen noses aside, when the boxes containing 300 copies of “Wings Under Japan” finally arrived, the McCartney story was equally cold.

Friday.

Believe it or not, there isn’t a lot of demand for a record by a band that nobody’s heard of.

The records were delivered to stores, who tried their best to push it, but were fighting an uphill battle. The record was not a hit.  The 300 copies did eventually end up in the hands of the public.  There are no documents detailing any sales, so we do not know if the band sold them at shows, or by mail order, or any of the other quaint methods available in 1980.   Mr. McCartney never stumbled upon the record, as far as the evidence suggests.  At least, we know he hasn’t sued.  But could he even locate the Spastic Phono Band if he wanted to?  We could not.  Vic Trola has pulled a DB Cooper:  Taken the money (if any) and flown.

Though only the original 300 copies were made, we were able to track one down for this article.  It was clearly loved in its previous home.

Housed in a yellow-brown sleeve (the original?), the 45 has a nice maroon label, stating this is on Slipped Disc Records.  Charmingly, the song “Wings Under Japan” is split over the two sides…sides 3 and 4.  (It has been suggested that this release, with sides 3 and 4 instead of 1 and 2), gave George Lucas the idea to number The Empire Strikes Back as Episode V instead of Episode II as expected.  With that film releasing in May 1980, we cannot completely dismiss the claim.)

The track is just over seven minutes combined.

Leavin’ on a Japanese roadtrip,
Headin’ down a London runway,
Paul said ‘I need to bring along some good weed,
Because it helps me relax when I play.’

Guffaw!  The song begins with a spoof of “The Ballad of John and Yoko”, now called “The Ballad of Paul and Linda”, with a similar structure, but words about Paul.  “The way things are gooooin’, they’re gonna scrutinize me!”  And they did…but not long enough for the Spastic Phono Band.  The song continues.

Staring at the man with the baggie.
Paul said, ‘Maybe I’m amazed!
It only amounts to less than half an ounce,
Why do you have to get so carried away?’

In perhaps the most obvious yet fun twist, the song then goes into Wings’ “Hi Hi Hi”…but re-written as “High High High”.  This is funny because it’s so obvious, it had to be done.  It’s amazing nobody else did it.  Incidentally the harmony vocals in this section are rich and excellent.

Next up in the Paul medley is “Silly Love Songs”, redone as “Silly Drug Laws”.  “What’s wrong with drugs, I’d like to know, ’cause here I go again!  I’m in jail…”  Another example of great singing by the Spastic Phono Band, but listen to that 1970s groove and the dexterous bassline!  This is some serious playing.

Side “3” ends, and so we flip to side “4”.  Fortunately in the modern era, we can use our digital capture software to seamlessly edit the two into one track!  Next is “Band On the Run”, revised as “Banned In Japan”.  In this case, the original song is almost a medley of different sections itself.  The Spastic Phono Band do several of them here.  “Stuck inside these stone walls, might be here forever!”  There is a poignant moment coming here, frozen in time.  Little did they know that John Lennon had only months to live, for in December of 1980, he would be murdered in New York.  So to hear the line, “I’ll join with Ringo, and George and John and we’ll put the reunion on,” reminds us that finite period of time when such a thing was indeed possible.

A brief pause and then, just like on Abbey Road, wait for a Beatles-y coda.

“Wings Under Japan” is, quite frankly, one of the best parody medley songs (or however you want to describe it) you’ll ever find, for three reasons.

  1. The mystery.  Who are the Spastic Phono Band anyway?  We may never know.  (Or, more accurately…we may never tell.)
  2. The musical prowess.  There is some serious playing and singing on this brief single, and your life would be richer if you heard it.
  3. Though depicting events before some of you were born, the lyrics are still hilarious due to the timeless nature of weed jokes.

5/5 stars.

 

REVIEW: Ginger Baker’s Air Force – “Man of Constant Sorrow” single (1970)

GINGER BAKER’S AIR FORCE – “Man of Constant Sorrow” (1970 ATCO 7″ single)

When Blind Faith broke up in 1969, Ginger Baker formed the Air Force featuring musicians such as Steve Winwood, Alan White and Denny Laine.  They released two albums, Air Force and Air Force 2, with the debut being a live album recorded at Albert Hall.  They also released one single, a studio version of the traditional “Man of Constant Sorrow”.  Its live counterpart was on the debut Air Force album, but the 3:31 studio version was only on the single.  Today you can buy several compilations and additional live albums, but in 1970 this single would have been one to seek.

Most people today are familiar with the version of “Man of Constant Sorrow” that was released as a single from the soundtrack O Brother Where Art Thou.  Based on the same traditional music, Ginger’s version is vastly different, though clearly the same song.  Opening with soft electric guitar picking by Denny Laine, Ginger soon comes in with a pitty-patter that is distinctly him.  Fiddles join in, and ample soulful backing vocals.  Aside from Laine’s emotional lead vocals, the defining characteristic of this song is the bombastic (but not out of place) drum pounding of Ginger Baker.  Horns join in at the halfway point, lending the song a celebratory Mardi Gras kind of feel.  Though it starts quiet and unassuming, it ends as a magnificent folk-soul monolith.

The single B-side is an instrumental live cut of the original song “Doin’ It” from the debut Air Force.  It was recorded 15 January 1970 at the Albert Hall with a ten-piece band including three saxophones and Hammond organs.  This is a tribal but funky jam, with the bass by Ric Grech blazing the trail.  Like “Man of Constant Sorrow” it builds louder and louder as it goes.  This short 3:47 (fade out) jam is in and out before you know it, but works as an intense but fun workout from some of the greatest musicians ever to hit the stage.  Certainly, the drums and two additional percussionists are a main focus and worth paying attention to.

A terrific single that is not too hard to find.

4/5 stars

EPSON MFP image

On This Day: June 16 2023 & 2024

On this day in 2023, June 16 fell on a Friday.  As usual, Grab A Stack of Rock was scheduled to go live that night with our very first Iron Maiden episode (which I shall re-edit and re-broadcast in 2025).  It was Iron Maiden rarities with Harrison, Aaron and a cameo by Jex Russell.

It almost got cancelled at the last minute.  Why?  See below.

I’m glad we re-ran the Adventures in Epilepsy episode last week so you can understand how it effects our lives every day of every week of every year since 2008.  She fell, and as you can see, she took a faceplant.  She insisted the show go on.  She never wants to be the reason a show gets cancelled.  And so the show went on.

On a brighter note, on this day in 2024, it was a completely different story.  Well, not completely:  Aaron was there with me once again, as we embarked to Toronto for our very best record shopping excursion to date!

Check out these episodes of Grab A Stack of Rock, and be sure to like and subscribe on YouTube!  WordPress is fun but it doesn’t keep the lights on.  If you could support us YouTube, it helps a lot!

 

 

GREAT Friday with Ash Geisler and Johnny Metal

A record-setting Grab A Stack of Rock Good Friday afternoon was had yesterday afternoon!  With co-hosts Johnny Metal and Ash Geisler (awake at 4:00 AM just to do this show!), we had views exceeding the legendary 2023 Good Friday show that featured, as Jex’s mom put it, “a good view”.

Unfortunately Jex Russell was heading out of town for his Easter weekend, and was unable to attend (though Johnny Metal had him on a shirt).  Ash showed off some cool Australian finds, from pop punk to harder edged tunes.  Johnny Metal’s new arrivals included the complete CD catalogue of Dr. Kathryn Ladano, so we spent a little time talking about brain injuries and the album Anatomy of the Recovering Brain.  Of course, Johnny Metal also brought plenty of metal, including one LP that tied into 50 Years of Iron Maiden.

As for me, I had three main things to focus on:

  1. A brand new record sent to me by Dan Chartrand, from OfftheCharts…and some bonus music, of his own band Dead Culture Society!
  2. A batch of new music that arrived this week.  My thoughts on Epitaph by April 16th, Dreams On Toast by the Darkness, and Rock N Roll Party Tonite by Mystique.
  3. An absolutely epic purchase of rock CDs from old friend Len Labelle.  More to come on this in a future video showcasing even more CDs from the bulk purchase.

If you liked this episode, then join us next week for our 100th.  We’re going to have a party!

 

Good Fridays Past:

Good Friday Afternoon April 7 2023:  @MarriedandHeels and Jex Russell began the tradition for a special episode celebrating California music, Easter manicures, and shiny silver boots!  Our first Good Friday afternoon episode, we did it at this time slot to enable @MarriedandHeels to join us from California.  It was a fun afternoon, and look how shiny those boots are!

Good Friday Afternoon March 29 2024: Top 5 Albums From Our Birth Years with Jex Russell and Uncle Meat.  This was a special episode!  Jex and I wanted to continue the Good Friday tradition, but this was a special reunion for Meat and I, who had not done a show together in a year and a half.  Jex surprised me – and my surprise is in the thumbnail image!  A blessed good show!

NEXT WEEK:  OUR 100TH EPISODE!  A LIVE MIX TAPE WITH JEX, HARRISON AND JOHNNY METAL!

 

🅻🅸🆅🅴 GOOD FRIDAY AFTERNOON! New Music Mania with Ash Geisler and Johnny Metal

GRAB A STACK OF ROCK With Mike and the Mad Metal Man
Episode 99:  Good Friday Afternoon – New Music Mania with Ash Geisler and Johnny Metal

A Good Friday tradition:  For the third time, Grab A Stack of Rock goes LIVE this afternoon with special guests and special music!  We have a ton of new music here to discuss at Grab A Stack of Rock HQ.  You’ve heard all about the new Darkness album Dreams On Toast?  Well now it’s my turn.  I have SEVEN COPIES (six physical and one digital) to get all the tracks, and I will be discussing my impressions.  I also have the new Rock N Roll Party Tonite EP by Mystique, and some vinyl from Dan Chartrand from OfftheCharts to unbox!  What could be inside?  You’ll be electrified.  Time permitting, I may also show off my massive haul from a forthcoming video on a big, BIG purchase.

We’ll see how much we can get through, because joining me will be Ash Geisler and Johnny Metal, with their own new musical scores to show off.  What could be new in southern Australia and the state of Alabama?  We’ll find out this afternoon!

The Good Friday afternoon episode is a tradition now in its third year (see below).  Sadly, Jex Russell could not be with us this time, but Ash and Johnny should be up to the task, even if the time zones make it tricky.  Remember, this episode is LIVE so join us for the fun and let us know in the comments that you’re with us!  See you this afternoon to Grab LOTS of Stacks of Rock!

Friday April 18 at 3:00 P.M. E.S.T. / 4:00 P.M. Atlantic.   Enjoy on YouTube or Facebook.

Good Fridays Past:

Good Friday Afternoon April 7 2023:  @MarriedandHeels and Jex Russell began the tradition for a special episode celebrating California music, Easter manicures, and shiny silver boots!  Our first Good Friday afternoon episode, we did it at this time slot to enable @MarriedandHeels to join us from California.  It was a fun afternoon, and look how shiny those boots are!

Good Friday Afternoon March 29 2024: Top 5 Albums From Our Birth Years with Jex Russell and Uncle Meat.  This was a special episode!  Jex and I wanted to continue the Good Friday tradition, but this was a special reunion for Meat and I, who had not done a show together in a year and a half.  Jex surprised me – and my surprise is in the thumbnail image!  A blessed good show!

NEXT WEEK:  OUR 100TH EPISODE!  A LIVE MIX TAPE WITH JEX, HARRISON AND JOHNNY METAL!

 

Friday Preview! A Massive Music Haul!

I came home from work last Friday to find not one, not two, not three, not four, but FIVE parcels containing new music!  Of course, if you unbox something these days, you have to do it on camera.  All of this music will receive a closer look on our annual Good Friday Afternoon Show on Grab A Stack of Rock, tomorrow!  However, nothing can top the first look at a musical surprise!

Catch my reaction as I look at:

  • Six versions of the Darkness’ Dreams On Toast album, which will be discussed in more detail on Friday.
  • A brand new EP of previously unreleased music by Mystique!
  • Killer metal from the UK.
  • A surprise gift of a Japanese import.
  • A very special gift from Blotto!

All here in this spontaneous and magical unboxing video!  Tune in tomorrow for our Good Friday show and a deep dive into all this new music, and much more!

“Hey, You Like Records!” – Grab A Stack of Free Records – Bonus Episode!

GRAB A STACK OF ROCK With Mike and the Mad Metal Man

Special Edition Episode:  “Hey, You Like Records!” – Grab A Stack of Free Records

One day, Jen came home from bowling with a stack of records from a near-stranger!  “Hey, you like records don’t you?” said the person as he dumped all this ancient vinyl in her hands.  She knew I’d be able to make a video of them, if nothing else.  So that is what we did.

Join Harrison and I for a look at some musty records with a couple surprises.  Apparently, if you like Led Zeppelin, the Who and the Beatles, then we discovered the Canadian equivalent of those bands for the “over 25” crowd.  Please welcome…the Moms and the Dads!

Gospel, Hans Albers, Wurlitzer, Bill Haley & the Coments, songs about cats and dogs…we got it all on this weird bonus episode of Grab A Stack of Rock!

This episode is live on YouTube now!  Hit up the channel, like and subscribe!

#1174: Big Feelings & Why I’m Upset With the Arkells

RECORD STORE TALES #1174:  Big Feelings & Why I’m Upset With the Arkells

I bought my first Arkells album High Noon back in 2017, but I really fell hard for the band in 2023.  The Canadian pop rock quintet hadn’t put out any songs I disliked, but in 2023 a combination of personal drama and a need for Canadian tunes led me to dive into the band all the way.  It was May, and in less than a year I had acquired all the albums.  That is a short period of time to absorb so much new music, but I did, and I loved virtually all of it.  There are actually few bands I love as much as the Arkells, and only a handful that I fell for so quickly.

I love their lyrics, from everyman tales of not being able to pay the rent, to social discourse and critique.  Singer Max Kerman was a Poli-Sci major, and also has his finger on the pulse of the youth.  This results in some pretty cool lyrics.  As for the band, their musicianship is top notch.  Drummer Tim Oxford is in my top Canadian drummers of all time, and you know that’s an elite list.  I’m also a big fan of bassist Nick Dika, who always has deep tones and fabulous bass melodies.

Shortly after I went all-in, the band released a new album called Laundry Pile, an acoustic affair with melancholy feelings.  A bit of a slow burner, but a brilliant album.  This was followed by the 2024 all-covers LP, Disco Loadout.  I enthusiastically went bonkers for it, and got it on CD and signed vinyl.  Their eclectic set of tunes, from Abba to Whitney interpreted by the rock band, satisfied deeply.  They threw in a couple rock tunes by Springsteen and Hall & Oates, and I just liked the whole album.  Could I fall in love any more with the Arkells?

Full stop to the summer of 2024.  So soon after the Disco Loadout album, Arkells announced the release of a new single called “Big Feelings”.   “It came together quickly,” said the band. “It started with a bold drum loop that Tim made, and was quickly arranged when the band assembled for a session in February.”

A few weeks after Aaron and I visited Sonic Boom records in Toronto, the Arkells announced an appearance at the store.  They brought with them 150 copies of “Big Feelings” on 180g clear vinyl, hand cut by Red Spade Records in Calgary, Alberta.

150 copies were all that were made.  And they sold out that day.  No copies have ever shown up on Discogs.

And this is why I’m upset with the Arkells.  I had just been to Sonic Boom a few weeks earlier, and there was no way I could make it down for that store release.  Trying to get there early enough to get one of the 150 copies…being in a crowd like that…no, no thanks.

I guess you could say, “Why are you upset, Mike?  It’s on you that you didn’t go.”

Sure, that’s true.  However, I think I’m on record for despising these kinds of releases that I’ll never get my hands on physically.  Maybe I’m not mad at the band; maybe I’m mad at the practice.  However it is the band that I have taken it out on.  “Big Feelings” remains the only Arkells song I don’t have, because I refused to buy it on iTunes.  I haven’t even put a “like” on the music video. Oh sure, I’ll probably give in eventually.  It just really bugs me that a band of Arkells’ stature, with thousands of fans who value physical media, would only release 150 copies in such an exclusive way.  Some might see that as indi-cool.  I don’t.  Arkells aren’t some garage band.  They have fans, and I feel a real disservice by this release.

Call me a curmudgeon, but that’s how I feel.

REVIEW: Vollmer – It’s A Pleasure Doing Business (2024 vinyl release)

VOLLMER – It’s A Pleasure Doing Business (2024 Helix Records vinyl reissue)

In 1993, Helix released one of their best, most unsung albums:  It’s a Business Doing Pleasure.  It featured a more acoustic-based side of Brian Vollmer’s writing, who penned the majority of the tunes with Marc Ribler as a solo project.  At the same time, Helix guitarist Paul Hackman was writing his own set of tunes for the next Helix album.  When Paul was tragically killed in a 1992 tour bus accident, Brian had no choice but to use his solo album as the next Helix record.  This never sat well with the frontman, who felt it did not represent the hard rockin’ down n’ dirty core of Helix.  Brian said in his book Gimme An R, that the album was “a huge mistake on my part, and I take full credit for the blunder. The really sad thing about it all was that I was really proud of all those songs on the album and they were wasted because they did not fit under the Helix name.”

I occasionally differ with Brian Vollmer’s opinions on such things.  I loved the album in 1993 and it still sounds brilliant today, and not at all dated to the time.  While Helix’s new sound came as a surprise, it was not an unpleasant surprise.  In an age when every band was getting heavier to compete with grunge, Vollmer took the opposite tack, and I loved him for it.  It’s a Business Doing Pleasure was a brilliant album, “Helix” or not.  A rose by any other name…

I can understand why Vollmer chose to reissue this album under his own name, seeing as it was intended to be from the start.  To differentiate from the original, he changed the title to It’s A Pleasure Doing Business, which unfortunately loses the wink-and-nod cleverness of the original title.

Vollmer also chose to axe and replace two songs.  The closing duo of “Sleepin’ in the Doghouse Again” and “Mad Mad World” are lost, which is a real shame.  “Doghouse” featured Kim Mitchell on lead guitar, though it was the hardest and most Helix-like of the tracks.  “Mad Mad World” was just melodic brilliance, with whistling!  Two crucial songs.  They are replaced here by new recordings.  “Still Got that Look in Your Eyes” is a previously unheard track, featuring Helix members Fritz Hinz and Daryl Gray.  “Hung Over But Still Hanging In” is not a new version of a Helix deep cut from Vagabond Bones.  This seems to be a completely new song with the same title.

There are some serious unrecognized tunes of brilliant melodic composition here.  “That Day Is Gonna Come” remains a Helix pinnacle of sorts, a passionate callback to the golden years with that delicious acoustic backing.  “Tug ‘o War” is a ballad that Brian and Greg Fraser once performed live in the MuchMusic studios, and a strong one at that.  “Look Me Straight in the Heart” is a duet with Lee Aaron, that used to open side two of the album.   Another ballad, but one that really should have been a hit.  You’d think Lee and Helix on one big ballad would have set Canadian radio on fire.  “Wrong Side of Bed” has some kick, and funny lyrics.  Side one closer “Can’t Even Afford to Die” is actually upbeat, and features some brilliant twangy soloing by Ribler.

“Still Got that Look in Your Eyes” is a really decent 80’s-sounding pop rocker.  It is an awkward fit on the album, because though it suits the poppy direction of It’s A Pleasure Doing Business, the keyboards differentiate it.  It’s also played by different musicians, which the subconscious mind of the Helix fan can pick up on.  Brian’s voice is a little lower, since 30 years passed between songs.  Good tune though, perhaps even great!  It will take some getting used to in this running order.

“Trust the Feeling” is another shoulda-been classic from the original album.  Though a ballad, this album didn’t really feel like it had too many of them.  It just felt like everything fit.  Ribler plays some very nice slide parts here.  “Love Is a Crazy Game”, though…what a ballad!  There’s a rock version of it on another Helix album, but this fully acoustic version of it is flawless.  Vollmer was in peak voice, and peak songwriting.  His vocals just speak, the way only great singers can do it.  There’s plenty of acoustic excitement with the guitars too.  No drums.  The album may have been a stripped back affair in terms of rock, but not in arrangement.  There is plenty going on with percussion, vocals and acoustics to occupy the ear.

“Misery Loves Company” is a solid country rocker from the original album.  More rock than country, but the twang is undeniable and nothing wrong with that.  It has a shout-along chorus that would still do well today, if Helix ever decide to bring this gem onto the stage.

The other new song, “Hung Over But Still Hanging In”, closes the album.  It seems like only the title was re-used from Vagabond Bones.  This is a nice drinking ballad, with a bit of a kick compared to the rest of the ballads.  It matches very closely the vibe of the original album, featuring Helix guitarist Mark Chichkan on guitar,

Here’s where the constructive criticism comes in.  The original album title and font on the cover were better.  This new zoomed-in cover with the Vollmer logo on it feels…off.  The original was a piece Hugh Syme art, and the new version was re-created by Brent Doerner.  It’s hard to improve perfection, and that’s not Doctor Doerner’s fault.  I wish this album had a big Helix logo on the front cover.  The original album never had the classic Helix logo.  Imagine if this did!  There is also a laissez-faire approach to capitalising the song titles on the back cover, but it’s a gatefold cover at least.

For 30 years, this was a Helix album.  It just doesn’t feel right filing it under “V”.  (However it’s my collection and I’ll file as I please!)  Since it was intended as a solo album back in 1992, it’s logical to do a reissue under the Vollmer name.  It makes sense to add new material.  Shuffling the running order for a pleasing listening experience on vinyl is fine, but losing two songs is unfortunate.  This reissue could have been a 5/5 star bang-on wish fulfilled.  So close to the mark!

4/5 stars

#1156: To What Lengths? (Shelf Wear)

RECORD STORE TALES #1156: To What Lengths? (Shelf Wear)

We, as collectors in this community, generally buy our music on a physical format to listen to it, but also value its condition and cosmetic perfection.  We don’t want creases in the inner sleeve, or banged-up covers if we can avoid it.  We especially don’t like being the ones responsible for damage.  It does happen.  Sometimes it’s as simple as pulling a favourite CD or LP out of its designated filing location too many times.  Scratches and scuffs appear on the jewel case or sleeve, if not protected.  Most people protect their vinyl LPs in plastic, and a small minority of CD aficionados do as well, which mitigates damage to just those moments you remove the packaging from that sleeve: the dirt and oils in your hands, the dust in the air, the light wear from handling.

If you’re new here, this is a judgement-free place!  If you go to tremendous degrees to protect your jewel cases (I had one customer who bought them 5 at a time and insisted each one be in its own separate little bag) then I applaud you.  I wish I had your discipline, honestly.  I’ve cracked and scuffed many-a-case over my years as a fan and collector.

Another fact known to CD collectors:  Many, especially in the 1990s, came in specialised jewel cases that could not easily replaced if damaged.  The best you could hope for was a Krazy Glue solution.  Example:  Pet Shop Boys’ Very CD in 1993, which came in a unique, opaque orange case with lego-like bumps on the front and a sticker with track listing on back.  It had a matching orange tray inside.  Fortunately, these were a bargain bin perennial and if you broke you case, you could buy a replacement for under $6 bucks.  If not, you could do a reasonable repair job with glue.

Coloured jewel cases were another variation.  With collector’s allure, Alice In Chains’ self-titled CD in 1995 came in two variations.  The common one was a yellow case with a purple inlay.  The very rare reverse was purple case with yellow inlay.  So rare in fact that in my 12 years in music retail, I never saw a copy come my way without one or both components damaged.  Less rarely, Kiss’ 1996 CD You Wanted The Best, You Got the Best came in a wine-red case with yellow tray.  I may or may not have swapped some at my store with plain cases, allowing me to keep the wine-red and yellow for myself, for other Kiss releases.  Perhaps I did.

 

 

Regardless of how you acquire such packages, the ideal collection has them relatively intact for the duration of their stay at your home.  How to do ensure this to the best of your ability?  As implied, I don’t want to put every CD I own in a sleeve.  However, I do make sleeves for discs like the above.  Simple ones out of clear comic bags (for example) cut down to size.  They even make sandwich bags in the exact right size if you feel lazy.  Remember:  no judgement!

Of course, this cannot prevent breakage all the time.  If you have ever moved house with boxes of CDs, you probably endured some damage.  When I moved, I did two important things:  1) I insisted only I handled the boxes marked “CDs”, and 2) I packaged all specially-cased CDs in a special padded box, also handled by myself.

Another variation, and perhaps my favourite, is the engraved jewel case.  One of the most common is the Prince “Love Symbol” CD, fairly easy to find multiple intact copies.  My most treasured engraved case is Deep Purple’s 25th anniversary edition of In Rock.  (Now we’re over 50 years…)  I bought my copy in 1996, in Toronto, at (I think) Sunrise.  It was there or HMV, and I was present with the mighty T-Rev, who braved the streets of Toronto with no air conditioning on a hot summer day in my Plymouth Sundance.  He drove – I wouldn’t.  I cradled my precious Purple in my arms so carefully on my way home.  I could see easily that the signatures and text on the front were in the plastic of the case, and not printed on the booklet.

I made a plan, and carefully executed it.  My solution protects my CD to this day.

Using a Swiss Army knife, I carefully slit the right side of the plastic wrap, all around the entire CD, and removed this side flap.  I then carefully coaxed the CD out of its plastic home, and upon success, pushed it back in.  I had created a little sleeve that protected my new purchase upon my shelves.  It still functions today, and my copy of In Rock still looks pretty good despite hundreds of plays.

Fingers crossed!