Author: mikeladano

Metal, hard rock, rock and roll! Record Store Tales & Reviews! Grab A Stack of Rock and more. Poking the bear since 2010.

REVIEW: One Drop – One Drop (2004)

Thank you @darcyska for gifting this CD!

ONE DROP – One Drop (2004)

One Drop, from Victoria BC, (not to be confused with the San Diego band) is a seven piece reggae rock band boasting saxophones and keyboards.  They’ve been around 20 years, and have at least three releases out.  Having said that, this will be my first listen (and first impression) of this band and their music.  With sax and keys, it should be a rich sound.  Let’s get on with it!

“Rudy” opens this 13 track album with loops and a beat.  Even Marillion were experimenting with loopy beats in 2004, and I definitely recognize some of those drum loops (distant and steady) as being fashionable at the time.  Then, the track kicks into gear with the saxophones and a bouncy low bassline.  The vocals are partly rapped, but it works within the song.  There are even guitar solos.  Excellent track!

“Three Four Reggae” is a brief song featuring acoustic guitar and rolling bass.  It’s a gentle track that lulls you in, leading right into the hard hitting “Big Bang”.  This blast of a song hooks you in with a saxophone line at the forefront.  It alternates between cool reggae beats and the crash of heavy guitar chords.  There’s even a wicked guitar solo.  Shades of the Mighty Mighty Bosstones can be heard on this song.

Another brief interlude comes in “Tango” featuring an old sample mixed with a modern beat.  Again, this seamlessly leads into a heavy-hitter.  “Look the Other Way” is fast and hard punk rock, complete with snotty nose.  Just as suddenly, we’re in the slow groove of “Never Rest”.  The saxophones are back center stage, and the bass continues to roll while Blair Douglas raps an anti-war message.  George W. Bush is lambasted, as the Iraq war raged on.  This track would probably have been awesome to hear live back in the day.  There’s a brilliant, soft alto sax solo at the end that just reeks of atmosphere.  Brilliant tune.

The pace picks up on “Someday”, which jangles its way into your skull right down to your feet.  On “Never There”, the groove slows and becomes bitter.  This song doesn’t jump out immediately.  It may require further listening.  “Bloodshed” again tackles serious subject matter, with a gentle guitar rhythm backed by solid bass.  Better though is “Gotta Relate” which has a more rock and roll feel, with a classic guitar riff backed by reggae bass.  This transitions to a more traditional reggae guitar part, and I get a bit of a Sublime vibe.  This is a great song, period.  The chorus is catchy as hell.  Then, an epic “Rich Man Poor Man” plays with different sections, different tempos, and almost comes off as…progressive rock reggae?  Is that a thing?  If it is, that’s “Rich Man Poor Man”.

The album closes on two long bombers.  “Rudy Dub” is what it sounds like:  a slow dub groove.  The organ is the main feature here.  This is a cool instrumental that works as the penultimate track on an album.  The final track, “The Projects”, takes a while to get going and might have benefited from some editing.  It has all the energy, drive and punch it needs, but lacks hooks.  A killer hook or two, and this album would have ended on an unstoppable note.  One Drop get too clever for their own good, going from section to section like a progressive rock band, but in search of that killer hook needed to slam it out of the park.  Just once you think they have one going, the song changes into something else.

Good album from a talented band.  I bet they are awesome live.

3.5/5 stars

 

#1127: Walter – An Uncle Paul story

RECORD STORE TALES #1127: Walter – An Uncle Paul story

My Uncle Paul loved his “spot”.  It was a comfy armchair at the cottage, right next to the patio screen door, and right in front of the TV.  The phone was on an end table right next to it, and fridge was never far, with a fresh supply of cold beer.   It was cool, shaded, comfortable, and perfect.  On many days he’d prefer to sit there than come down to the beach, or playing cards.  Who could blame him?  Though we were often elsewhere while Uncle Paul did his thing, he was never alone.

He had Walter.

In reality, there was probably more than one Walter.  Chipmunks typically only live two to three years, yet Walter, in one form or another, returned to his screen door year after year, looking for peanuts.  There was also a second chipmunk that he named Fang.  Doctor Kathryn recalls, “the other chipmunk he fed, he named Fang. Fang had part of his ear missing, and looked really banged up!”  He probably ran afoul of a cat or Schnauzer.

We always had loads of chipmunks at the cottage.  They’re not a pest, but they’re timid and not very brave by nature.  If you left peanuts out (always shelled, unsalted), then you could gradually condition them to come closer and closer.  Still, many would cower afar, especially since there were Schnauzers about, and Schnauzers and chipmunks are natural sworn enemies.  This rivalry has been documented through history, most notably in the German children’s fable “The Chipmunk that Stole the Schnauzer’s Hat” (“Der Streifenhörnchen, der den Hut des Schnauzers Gestohlen“).

Through patience and time, Uncle Paul had trained little Walter the Chipmunk to come to his screen door and be rewarded with a peanut.   The little brown, black and white creature would approach tentatively with caution, grasp a peanut his two front paws, stuff it in his cheeks, and dart off!  He scampered across the deck, down to the ground and off into the unknown trees.  But he’d be back, minutes later, ready to stuff another peanut in his cheeks.  Uncle would always have an ample stash of nuts ready to serve.

This year, Jen and I have been visited by a new chipmunk friend on the front porch.  It’s our first summer there since Uncle Paul passed in November.  I’ve decided to name him Walter 2, in honour my uncle’s original friend.

I think uncle would like that.

Rock Daydream Nation: Mötley Crüe – can we defend Theatre of Pain?

This’ll get the trolls out!  Nothing gets the Motley fans in a tizzy more than critiquing a favourite album, or praising a later one with the wrong lead singer.  Our rock heroes are not infallible, and Theater of Pain might be the best example of this.  After two screamin’ and bangin’ hard rock/heavy metal albums, Motley made a slight change of image & sound, and left us in a Theater of Pain….

Peter Kerr of Rock Daydream Nation assembled a killer crew for this topic. With Joe B., John Clauser, Steve Deluxe, Melissa Nee and myself, we talk memories, impressions then and now, and most importantly, the songs.  We discuss every elephant in the room, from the tragic car crash that ended a life, addictions, and direction (or lack thereof).  This tumultuous period of Motley history is full of drama, superstardom, great music videos, and tragedy.

I’m excited to watch this show that I was proud to be a small part of.  Theater of Pain is one of my favourite musical topics, and I think we fairly covered all the bases here, and them some.  How do you feel about Theater of Pain?

Debuts at 8:00 AM E.S.T. on May 22 2024.

 

REVIEW: Alice Cooper – Breadcrumbs (2024)

ALICE COOPER – Breadcrumbs (2024 earMUSIC, expanded reissue of 2019 Edel EP)

Wait a second…”Breadcrumbs“?  I thought the full title was The Breadcrumbs EP?  It was, but with the addition of two bonus tracks, it appears that Breadcrumbs has been upgraded to an album, with a modified title and altered cover art.  Interestingly now the artwork highlights the production of Bob Ezrin.

Back in 2019, Alice Cooper wanted to do a Detroit garage rock record and pay homage to his roots.  The Breadcrumbs EP was originally six tracks of stripped down goodness on 10″ vinyl and limited to 20,000 copies.  (I own #48!)  Now on CD, it is expanded to include the 2020 standalone Covid-era single “Don’t Give Up“, and a live track from 2022.

For the first six tracks (the original EP), Alice is backed by the MC5’s Wayne Kramer, bassist Paul Randolph, Grand Funk’s Railroad Mark Farner, and Detroit Wheel Johnny “Bee” Badanjek. A remake of Alice Cooper’s “Detroit City” (from The Eyes of Alice Cooper) is an appropriate starting point:

Me and Iggy were giggin’ with Ziggy and kickin’ with the MC5,
Ted and Seger were burnin’ with fever,
and let the Silver Bullets fly,
The Kid was in his crib, Shady wore a bib,
and the posse wasn’t even alive.

That’s some rock and roll poetry right there.  Not one of Alice’s finest songs but worthy of a second chance.  Then “Go Man Go” is a new original composition co-written by Wayne Kramer.  It’s punk rock Alice, as authentic as the bands he’s paying tribute to.  Bob Seger’s “East Side Story” is anchored a steady groove, right out of Hendrix’s version of “Gloria”.  A really funky “Your Mama Won’t Like Me” (Suzi Quatro) is the centrepiece of the EP.  Horns blastin’, Alice hasn’t been this funky since his dance-oriented Alice Cooper Goes to Hell in 1976.  “Devil With a Blue Dress On” (Mitch Ryder and the Detroit Wheels) is the soulful side that Alice occasionally shows.  It’s merged with “Chains of Love” (J.J. Barnes) which pulls everything back to rock.  Finally “Sister Anne” by the MC5 puts the snot on the nose and the grime in the rock.  Kramer’s simply awesome riff is perfectly complemented by Cooper.

The world suddenly changed in March of 2020.  By May, Alice had made his statement on Covid-19:  “Don’t Give Up”!  It’s the most direct, most topical, and the least “Alice” song of the bunch.  Why?  Because this time he’s not telling stories, or covering a rock classic.  This time he’s addressing the listening directly and talking about current events.  Wisely, he just stuck to the feelings.

“Yeah, I know you’re struggling right now. We all are, in different ways. It’s like a new world that we don’t even know. It’s hard to sleep, even harder to dream. But look, you got seven billion brothers and sisters all in the same boat! So don’t panic. Life has a way of surviving and going on and on. We’re not fragile and we sure don’t break easy.”

Since it was 2020, the single was recorded in home studios and eventually released on vinyl, with a different version appearing on the Detroit Stories album.  This is the first CD release of the original 2020 version.   Musically you could call “Don’t Give Up” a power ballad.  It has a very 80’s guitar figure, with Alice speaking his message over it.  The chorus is more modern, with Alice singing as plaintively as he can.  It was never a remarkable track, but it was an important one in its time.

2020’s live version of “Go Man Go” features his live band, including Hurricane Nita Strauss on lead guitar.   This is a short blast of live track, and well recorded, at Hellfest 2020.  Probably just because of the live vibe, it’s a more enjoyable listen.

Nobody likes getting double-dipped and having to buy the same thing twice.  However, we’re used to getting fleeced by now.  It’s easy to ignore.

3.5/5 stars

#1126: Mail Shenanigans & Look at the Arkells’ Disco Loadout SIGNED CLEAR SPLATTER VINYL with Peter Kerr/Rock Daydream Nation [VIDEO]

RECORD STORE TALES #1126: Mail Shenanigans
& Look at the Arkells’ Disco Loadout signed clear splatter vinyl
with Peter Kerr/Rock Daydream Nation

Supplementals:

It has been a hell of a week.  There’s an untold story here; one that I have elected not to tell.  Let’s just say I’m out a lot of money, and other setbacks have caused me to take a step back from social media for a few days.  Just too much going on for me to deal with in a calm and cool manner.  Better to retreat into the shadows a bit.

As always, the Show Must Go On, and so I was determined to do my best on Friday May 17’s Arkells special on Grab A Stack of Rock.  It was the first show I’d done without a co-host (just a special guest) in a long while.  I felt unprepared despite a whole week of listening.  Things came together at the last minute, and all I needed was the new Arkells album, Disco Loadout Volume One, for the show to go right.  I planned to spend the afternoon listening to the CD and hoped to open up the autographed clear splatter vinyl live on the show.

The thing about going live is that it’s a double-edged sword.  The plus is you get the rush of live viewer feedback, and that sparks the show to be so much more exciting.  The negative is that when things go wrong, there’s nothing you can do about it.  That’s live for you.

My record was supposed to arrive on May 15.  It didn’t.  May 16 came and went.  Surely, it would be in my mailbox by May 17, the release date.  It had to be.

I arrived home from work early on Friday.  I raced with my heart pounding to the mailbox.  “It’ll be in there,” I reasoned to myself.  “Why wouldn’t it be?  It has to be.”

It wasn’t.

Furious, I went right to my computer and called up the tracking.

“Good news!” said Canada Post.  “Your parcel was delivered to your locked condo mailbox on May 16!”

Umm, no it wasn’t!  I picked up the phone.  I searched for a phone number.  Do you know how hard it is to call Canada Post on the phone and get a human being on the phone?  I was completely unsuccessful.

I went ’round and ’round on phone menus for half an hour.  I called my local post office, only to go to voicemail after an agonisingly long wait.  I swore up and down, and let out a primal yell that would have frightened the upstairs neighbour, had he been home.

I called Encore Records, and fortunately they had CD copies of the album in stock.  I ran downtown, grabbed the album from them (and a few other discs as well).  I was greeted there by old pal Chris, and I want to thank Encore for saving the day.  Once home, I immediately played the album once-and-a-half times, and began my show prep.  (I also picked up three other discs – a 4 CD Faster Pussycast set, the new Beatles single “Now and Then“, and the new Ace Frehley 10,000 Volts.)

I wouldn’t be able to open the signed splatter vinyl live on the show, but I filed a report with Canada Post.  It was all I could do.  There were no other options available.  Showing a CD copy wouldn’t be as exciting, but at least I had it in hand and could read the credits while listening.

The show went incredibly well; far better than I expected.  This was due to special guest Nurse Kat and her enthusiasm, and to some excellent notes from D’Arcy Briggs.  I’m really happy and proud of the show we did together.  I’d never attempted to do a show on a new album, on the day of release before.  We were treading new ground in multiple ways, and while it almost didn’t work, it ended up being one of the best shows to date.  The passion for the music came through.

Two days later, there was a knock on the door.  A tall gentleman from down the hall had a parcel for me.  It had been delivered to his unit.

How this happened, I’ll never understand but someone at Canada Post wrote the number “103” on the parcel.  Even though my correct unit number was written clearly on the parcel where the address was, this scribbled “103” put my parcel in the tall man’s mailbox.  Fortunately he is one of the good ones, and not all of them are.  Just this week, an upstairs neighbour had an expensive Amazon parcel opened and stolen.  It’s not a good feeling to have mail thieves in our building, but I have been victim twice before.  I’m glad this wasn’t the third time.

Even though I didn’t get to unbox it live, Peter Kerr from Rock Daydream Nation was kind enough to join me for a quick look at a beautiful record.  It looks as great as it sounds.

And so the week of stress comes to a happy ending.  The other bit of good news is that the social media hiatus was a good idea.  I went on a writing bender like never before.  Expect loads of reviews this spring and summer.

Thank you to the guy down the hall, to Peter Kerr, to D’Arcy Briggs, and to Nurse Kat for turning this potential disaster story into one of triumph!

 

REVIEW: Arkells – Disco Loadout Volume 1 (2024)

ARKELLS – Disco Loadout Volume 1 (2024 Universal)

Five albums in five years.  Album #10!  First covers album.  The Arkells show no signs of slowing down!

Hamilton Ontario’s Arkells are the kind of band that clearly love music.  You get this feeling from certain bands, such as Foo Fighters, or Weezer:   that the members just love playing music, and sometimes want to bust out a favourite song for fun.  Many of the songs here are tracks that the band have played live.  Disco Loadout exudes fun from every groove (or 1’s and 0’s if you listen digitally), and yes, it does include some disco (Abba)!  11 tracks: the perfect length.  Genres range from modern pop (Robyn, Harry Styles) to classic rock (Bruce Springsteen, Hall & Oates, Huey Lewis & the News) and pop (Whitney Houston, The Jackson 5).

Robyn’s “Dancing On My Own” has a chugging “Eye of the Tiger” kind of riff, paired with a rich horn section.  Drummer Tim Oxford opts for a big beat on this one, with his usual swing.  Singer Max Kerman pours it all in, and delivers big hooks on the chorus.  Check out that bassline by Nick Dika, a thrumming pulse that gets the blood pumping.  “Dancing On My Own” gets the album off to a fast paced start, upbeat and celebratory.

Keyboardist Anthony Carone takes the Jackson 5’s “I Want You Back” to the right place from the start, but it’s those big thick horns that really nail the authenticity factor.  This is not a song for the meek to cover.  The Arkells have had a soulful side that really came to the fore starting with Morning Report.  This track allows them to really let it out.  Without a bump, Hall & Oates’ “You Make My Dreams Come True” continue the blue-eyed soul vibe.  A favourite song of any Toronto Maples Leafs fan, this song is sure to be a popular one in Canada.  The Arkells do a wonderful version, and though it’s hard to top Darryl Hall’s vocals, Max does an admirable job.

Harry Styles’ “As It Was” has a keyboard line similar to “Take On Me” by A-Ha.  It has a nice retro vibe and a taut bassline by Nick Dika.  I like when they change the lyric “Harry, you’re no good alone,” to “Maxie, you’re no good alone.”  It has a beat and you can dance to it, but it’s not as classic as the other tracks on this album.

Guitarist Mike DeAngelis gets to sing co-lead vocals on Peter Gabriel’s “Sledgehammer”, and it’s a delight.  His voice is more similar to Peter’s, so when his lines kick in, it really adds to the authenticity (there’s that word again).  Speaking of authenticity, “Sledgehammer” lays on the horn section heavy once again.  This is a really fun cover.  Anthony Carone has the right 80s keyboard tons, and Oxford plays it for the beat, but not without throwing in some cool rhythmic tricks.  The saxophones are nice and thick, and you could swear it was 1986 all over again.

The first of two ABBA covers is a re-recording of “Gimme Gimme Gimme (A Man After Midnight)”.  An earlier version was on 2022’s Apple Music Home Session.  In both versions, Nick Dika shows an expert level knack for danceable but powerful bass.  Meanwhile, Tim Oxford is absolutely killing it on the drums, nailing both the groove and a hard-hitting power.  This song is a showcase for the upper echelon rhythm section of the Arkells.  There’s even a bass solo.

Speaking of bass, it’s prominent on Dolly Parton’s “9 to 5”.  Dolly is having a moment again, so the timing is right to cover a Parton hit.  It’s just pure fun, and not too serious.  The horns are back to thicken things up with sass and melody.  Lyrically, the song actually fits in well with some of the Arkells’ earlier hits like “Oh, The Boss Is Coming!” as a protest over the big guys in the expensive suits.  Stay tuned for a great sax solo, followed by a rowdy trumpet solo, and completed by a trombone showcase!  As if that wasn’t enough, Tim Oxford gets a drum solo, before Max orders that they go “New Orleans”!  What a trip!

“I Wanna Dance With Somebody” by Whitney Houston might be the most unlikely song on this album, but of course no pressure.  The Arkells have it covered.  Once again the bass is up front in the mix, really allowing the groove to come through.

Album highlight:  “Dancing In The Dark” by Bruce Springsteen.  The Arkells have gone with a Springsteen sound before (“Nowhere to Go” featuring Jake Clemons) so they clearly know what they’re doing.  This song drives harder than Bruce’s version, while retaining all the hooks.  Some may think Max Kerman is ill-suited to sing a song by a guy with a raspy voice like Bruce Springsteen, but no issue.  Awesome track, and hopefully a future live staple.

Huey Lewis’ “The Power of Love” is a definitive 80s anthem.  Of course, the Arkells are all over it.  Anthony Carone’s keyboards are particularly noticeable, while the rest of the guys just sit back and let it groove.  Mike DeAngelis has a fun guitar solo, and the reliable horns deliver those familiar hooks that you remember so well.  Every base is covered.  A perfect version.

The album closes, as it should, on the last ABBA cover, “Dancing Queen”!  What can one say about “Dancing Queen”?  It is one of the world’s most perfect songs, but also, be wary:  to cover a song this familiar and this classic is to frolic on thin ice.  Yet the Arkells, with the combination of ace rhythm section, the essential keyboards, and horns, manage to pull it off.  Max Kerman’s delivery is pure love and enjoyment of singing a classic song.

Engineered by Harem Scarem’s Harry Hess, this album sounds absolutely fantastic, with highs and lows coming through loud and clear.  Hopes are high that a Volume Two will eventually follow!

4.5/5 stars

ARKELLS

  1. Jackson Square (2008)
  2. Michigan Left (2011)
  3. High Noon (2014)
  4. Morning Report (2017)
  5. Rally Cry (2018)
  6. Campfire Chords (2020)
  7. Blink Once (2021)
  8. Blink Twice (2022)
  9. Laundry Pile (2023)
  10. Disco Loadout Volume One (2024)

…and more to come

The Most Comprehensive Arkells Deep Dive on the ‘Net! With a Harrison Kopp cameo, a D’Arcy Briggs list, and the great Nurse Kat

Thank you once again Nurse Kat for coming on Grab A Stack of Rock to talk about a band we both love:  Hamilton Ontario’s Arkells.  It isn’t her first time, as last year we did a show focusing largely on her 13 concert experiences (now 20).  Check out Nurse Kat’s first show by clicking here!

This time, we did a deep dive.  We went album by album, from Jackson Square to today:  the brand new release, Disco Loadout Volume One.  If I do say so myself, I think this is the most comprehensive Arkells deep dive you will find.

My friend D’Arcy Briggs was unable to attend the show, but he provided ample notes and we presented his views on each album in the form of short videos.  Additionally, we ran excerpts with commentary of three Arkells music videos:  “Oh, the Boss is Coming”, “All Roads”, and “Past Life”, which allow us to view the evolution of the band.

Show highlights:

  • Concert stories with Kat, including a brilliant one about a port-a-potty in a rainstorm whilst the band played “A Little Rain”.
  • Favourite songs from each and every album.
  • A discussion on the music, artwork, and lyrics of the Arkells.
  • What is a “Michigan Left”?
  • First impressions on Disco Loadout.
  • A heartwarming Kopp cameo.

That’s right.  The Mad Metal Man himself, who also ordered Disco Loadout, made a brief cameo at the end of our show, and we love him for it.  I missed my Mad Metal Man.

Thank yous:

  • Nurse Kat for spending your time with us instead of Bob’s Burgers.
  • Harrison Kopp for saying hello.
  • Chris and Mark at Encore Records for saving the day and getting me the new album when Canada Post lost it.

Next week is a re-run of Top Five Bald Artists.  Speaking of which, I may look a little different this week.  Spot the change!

 

 

My notes:

 

Jackson Square – 2008

  • Deadlines – heaviest tune?
  • Oh the Boss is Coing!
  • Ballad of Hugo Chavez – “Night of the sun”
  • Heart of the City – anthemic
  • The Blueprint – sounds awesome a-capella

Michigan Left – 2011

  • Book Club
  • Michigan Left
  • Coffee
  • Bloodlines
  • Whistleblower

High Noon – 2014

  • Too many good songs to mention, but has the best first three song opening of any Arkells album.  Add in Leather Jacket and we have a winner

Morning Report – 2016

  • Too many good songs!  Knocking at the Door, Hung Up, Making Due, My Heart’s Always Yours, Savannah, Passenger Seat, A Little Rain, And Then Some

Rally Cry – 2018 – sudden change in cover art style, more political than personal lyrics

  • Hand Me Downs, but the version with Frank Turner is even better
  • American Screams

Campfire Chords – 2020

  • Three new songs:  Years In The Making, Quitting You, A Little More

Blink Once – 2021

  • All Roads
  • Strong
  • Nobody Gets Me Like You Do
  • Years In The Making
  • Arm In Arm

Blink Twice – 2022

  • Past Life (Cold War Kids)
  • Teenage Tears (Tegan & Sara)
  • Nowhere To Go w/ Wesley Schultz (Lumineers) & Jake Clemons

Laundry Pile – 2023

  • Life
  • Skin

Disco Loadout Vol. 1 – 2024

  • Gimme Gimme Gimme (A Man After Midnight)

Disco Loadout! The Arkells Discography ranked on Grab A Stack of Rock with Nurse Kat

GRAB A STACK OF ROCK With Mike and the Mad Metal Man
Episode 60: Disco Loadout! The Arkells Discography Ranked!

Please welcome back superfan Nurse Kat, returning to discuss the Arkells one more time!  Last time she was on, she talked about seeing the band 13 times in an 18 month span.  Now, a year later, I wonder how many more times she’s caught the band live?

The occasion?  Today’s release of the new covers album Disco Loadout Vol. 1, featuring songs by Hall & Oates, Peter Gabriel, Abba, Bruce Springsteen and Whitney Houston among others!  The Arkells have always had a knack for covers, and today they put their money where their mouths are with their first full-on covers album.  Our copy is pre-ordered and we hope to have it in hand to show tonight.

Kat and I will be talking favourite songs, from album to album, and then I will attempt to rank all 10.  A daunting task; I will not be relying on my written reviews for this job.  I will listen to them all with fresh ears and try to figure out a ranking.  We will even be running clips from our favourite videos.

Tune in tonight for the epic of Arkells appreciation!

 

Friday May 17 at 8:00 P.M. E.S.T. / 5:00 P.M. Pacific.   Enjoy on YouTube or on Facebook!

REVIEW: Pretty Maids – Red, Hot and Heavy (1984)

Thank you to Thor Blackmore for this CD!

PRETTY MAIDS – Red, Hot and Heavy (1984 Sony)

I ignored Pretty Maids when I first heard of the band.  “Pretty Maids?  What kind of name is that?”  Shallow kid stuff, but impactful, because now in 2024 this is my first real listen to Pretty Maids with intent.  Red, Hot and Heavy was the debut album for the Danish hard rock band, after a self-titled EP in ’83.  The six-piece band had some moderate success with the album, so let’s have a listen.

Opener “Fortuna Imperatrix Mundi” is actually an excerpt from Carl Orf’s “Carmina Burana”, and is credited as such on the back.  It’s just a few seconds.  The real opener is “Back to Black”, a scorching metal number with tempo and riffs sharpened and at the ready.  The raspy vocals of Ronnie Atkins differentiate the song from the works of other metal groups such as Iron Maiden and Judas Priest.  The keyboards give a highbrow neo-classical vibe.  It’s heavier and fuller than Dio, but with all the drama and guitar solo shenanigans.

The title track is slower and nastier.  A rallying cry for metal heads, “Red, Hot and Heavy” doesn’t pretend at being anything more than it is.  A slow metal banger, perfect for fist-pounding and shouting along with at the concert hall.  The shout chorus is custom made for the stage.  The duel guitar solo is pretty cool.  A stock metal chugger, but there is a need for a drum-bashing, stompy riff-rocking concoction such as this.

The highbrow keyboards return on “Waitin’ for the Time”, a very European sounding song which builds from a ballady opening to an upbeat pounder.  Sounds a bit like the Swedish band Europe during their Wings of Tomorrow era, with a hint of Def Leppard in the riff.  It’s an excellent song with light and shade, and a complete musical journey without exceeding five minutes.

“Cold Killer” begins with news broadcast dialogue, and then goes in a fast and ominous music unlike the other songs.  The rather clunky lyrics are about the weaponization of space, a hot topic in 1984 with Reagan’s “Star Wars” program in the nightly news.  But…clunky.  “There should have been a paradise, instead there’s a killer out in space.”  We’ll give them credit for trying at least, which is more than could be said for many bands of the 80s.  Musically it’s a terrifically fun ride through sweet guitar riff and solo action.  The keyboards add a progressive vibe, though some might say pretentious.

The anti-war theme flips over onto side two, with “Battle of Pride”.  Again, it’s not poetry, but the lyrical theme was very popular in metal at the time.  Musically it’s a fast Dio-like rocker with the keyboard accents giving it a different flavour.  Ronnie Atkins’ rasp continues to separate Pretty Maids from other bands, but by the time we hit side two, the ear is craving more variety in the voice.

“Night Danger” is a pure blitzkrieg, now more in the wheelhouse of a band like Accept.  These guys are not slouches when it comes to riffs over 80 mph in speed.  The irony is that, even at that speed, the song doesn’t really go anywhere.  It’s speed for its own sake, and that’s actually fine, because it’s plenty fun and doesn’t need to be anything else.

Acoustics join the electric guitars on “A Place in the Night”, one of the most impressive songs on the album.  Mid-tempo melodic rock, and dialing down on the vocal growls, is exactly what the album needed at this point.  The chorus explodes with passion and power at the right moment.  The keyboards add to the mixture by thickening up the melodic accents.  Brilliant deep cut late in the album.

“Queen of Dreams” has an Yngwie vibe again, though Malmsteen wouldn’t put as much emphasis on the other instruments.  The keyboards add a regal synth-trumpet sound over the guitars, but when the drums kick in, there’s no nonsense.  It’s that kind of metal that is obviously influenced by Deep Purple and Blackmore’s Rainbow, but amped up for the 80s.

The surprise is the closer:  a cover of Thin Lizzy’s single “Little Darling”.  Formerly a horn-laden rock classic, Pretty Maids heavy it up a bit and increase the tempo.  Though “Little Darling” will always be a personal favourite, I don’t think Pretty Maids did it any favours.  Their backing vocals are too shrill for the chorus, and without the horns, it loses that something special.  A swing and a miss for Pretty Maids, which is terribly unfortunate.

Red, Hot and Heavy is a strong debut.  Obviously the band grew and expanded their sound, and still continue today.  This is the foundation.

3.5/5 stars