Record Store Tales

#1063: Life is Like a Lake

RECORD STORE TALES #1063: Life is Like a Lake

Over the course of 51 years on the shores of Lake Huron, I have witnessed the power of nature and the change it brings every season.  Change is the one constant in life, isn’t it?  For better or worse, everything changes.  Nothing can remain static.  Things wear and decay, and are eventually replaced by newer, younger things.  This is obvious every spring on the shores of Huron.  The coast changes, the rocks, the trees, everything.  In a way, life is like a lake.

When we returned this spring, much had changed.  The seasons are unrelenting.  We found several large rocks, freshly cracked, and sharp like blades.  Over the summer and fall, water found its way through microscopic cracks in the stones.  Over winter, it froze and expanded, breaking rocks clean in half.  The remnants are like ancient stone cutting tools, sharp and jagged.  In a way, that’s parallel with relationships.  Sometimes things set in, year after year, until they eventually expand and crack the relationship in two.  I’ve experienced this recently.  The edges that cut are still painful.

Things die over the winter.  Some young trees do not survive.  Older ones fall, only to become firewood for the coming year.  Just like life, and the losses we experience more and more as we get older.  It never gets easier.  It’s a matter of picking up the pieces are carrying on.

The only constant at the lake is change.  Eternal change.  This is especially obvious when you look back at old photographs.  The lake levels change, the beach is covered with rocks one year, and sand the next.  The changes cannot be predicted, except that the land will change.  Where men once pushed the forest and weeds back, now they encroach again when left untended.  It’s quite amazing how quickly nature can retake a patch of land left untouched.  Just like life.  Neglect an aspect of your life, be it physical or mental, and you will notice the difference.  Life must be worked, at constantly, or you will lose what you gained.

Some years, there is more life than others.  Some years, wild turkeys.  Other years, foxes.  Perhaps the foxes scared away the turkeys.  Once in a while we’ll have a dear, or a bear.  Raccoons, porcupines and skunks are common.  When the animals disappear, you can only guess as to why.  Kind of like being “ghosted” in life.  Sometimes they return unexpectedly.  Always a delight.  Like a friend returning after a long absence.

One thing that is clear at the lake:  You cannot return to the past.  The past is gone, like the ghost of a memory.  Things only move forwards, not backwards.  The massive winter ice sheets we used to get are gone now, likely never to return in my lifetime.  The rivers carve away the landscape, leaving different shapes.  The cliffs we used to walk as kids no longer exist, or are now on inaccessible private property, built over and paved.  There is no return.  Those things are gone.

And that’s life in a nutshell.

 

 

 

 

 

#1062: Return to Trillion Dollar Treats with Max the Axe

One does not question the mighty Max the Axe why he has three kites (and one has propellers).  One simply walks into his garage and purchases two of the kites.  And a CD to boot.

I don’t understand how many of Max’s treats weren’t snapped up by his hordes of fans and followers a few short weeks ago.  He did have a kite I was interested in.  As a gift, to my sister, Dr. Kathryn.  In fact, on my show a couple weeks ago, I told Jex Russell that I was going to return to Max’s and buy one of his kites for my sister.  I even said, “She’s not watching this anyway.”  But she was, and so she knows she’s getting a new kite.  It truly is a beauty.

For $10 each, I took home two $30 (retail) kites.  The dragon one, we know it flies — because at Max’s sale, it caught a gust of wind and took off down the street!  The other is still sealed in package.  And I didn’t buy the one with propellers because it looked pretty complicated and didn’t have instructions.

The CD I bought for $5 was Around the Next Dream by BBM (1994) – Jack Bruce, Ginger Baker, and Gary Moore.  You might recognize that as the Cream rhythm section but with Gary Moore on guitar instead of Eric Clapton.  All these years and I’ve never heard it before now.  Good score.

It wasn’t for sale, but I had to snap a picture of Max’s one of a kind signed Sheavy poster.  A great band that no longer exists, but really should.  A piece of history right there on his wall.

Max is having another sale with his whole neighbourhood next month.  Be sure to check out Trillion Dollar Treats on June 17 for more goodies and treasures!

 

#1061: Musical Flashbacks and Flame Throwers (VIDEO)

RECORD STORE TALES #1061: Musical Flashbacks and Flame Throwers

I know how to pick the tunes.

Trip up:  Of course, it had to be High Noon by the Arkells.  Had to be.  That album has become too important to me.  And so we played and I sang along, and really struggled and failed to hit the one “ooo ooo ooo” in “Never Thought That This Could Happen”.  One of many signs of my aging body this weekend.

Three day weekends are really special.  Sure, we didn’t get to finish everything we wanted to.  But we did have fun.  For the first time, we checked out a local shop called the Beef Way.  We picked up a delicious tomahawk steak and some apple pie jam.  Highly recommended.  We are all done with Robert’s Boxed Meats in Kitchener.  For the second time, he sold us steak that had gone bad.  Never again, Robert!  Beef Way has our money now.  Guy was super helpful.

When we arrived on the front porch, it was all about the music once again.  I captured some on video for you to enjoy, and I hope it gives you that “being there” feeling.  The idea this weekend was, once again, to travel back in time.  Listening to albums in the place I first heard them:  the cottage.  Priest…Live!  Misplaced Childhood by Marillion.  White Lion’s Big Game (who Jen understandably confused with Bon Jovi).  This time it just made me glow.

The biggest deal about this weekend was the unprecedented spotting of wildlife!  I managed to capture all of it either on photo or video.  There was a beefy raccoon.  We had a turkey.  There was a beautiful skunk.  Best of all, our fearless little chipmunk friend returned to visit us on both front and back porches.  On Saturday we had a Lego session, and he came right out to help.

A word about Lego:  It sure has changed a lot since we were kids.  Now there are angles for every degree and orientation, slopes we never had before, lots of pieces that have both right and left-handed counterparts, and building techniques that involve going sideways just as often as upwards.  It was challenging for both of us.  But we’re both making progress!  And I thought we’d be done in a weekend….

If YouTube allows the music, then check out my picks.

2023 is off to a banging start!

#1060: Max the Axe’s Garage Sale (Trillion Dollar Treats)

RECORD STORE TALES #1060: Max the Axe’s Garage Sale

A huge thank-you to my host Max the Axe today at a fantastic garage sale!  BEHOLD!

“9:00 AM!” he said.  “Serving shots and weed to my Facebook friends starting at 9 AM!”

There was no way I was missing this garage sale.

I only had four hours sleep, and a large Tim Horton’s coffee, to prepare me.  I didn’t think I could make it.  After the events of last night, which left me rocked (in a bad way), I didn’t think I was up for it.  But at 9:00 AM I said “to hell with it, let’s go,” and Jen and I were in the car off to the Trillion Dollar Treats that Max had on offer.

First up:  cassettes!  I picked up six:

  • Poison – Flesh & Blood
  • Metallica – Metallica
  • Van Halen – Diver Down
  • Extreme – II:  Pornograffitti
  • Ozzy Osbourne – No Rest for the Wicked
  • Van Halen – Women and Children First

You can blame Tim Durling for my sudden interest in buying Cassettes That I Already Own On Remastered CDs.  He did point out the Diver Down cassette was an unusual cover variant, with the image slanted taking up the whole cover.

Speaking of Tim Durling…

  • Led Zeppelin – Led Zeppelin IV

I’ve caught the 8-track bug, baby!  Tim remarked that my copy was in better condition than his.  Max had more 8-tracks but none from bands that I collected.

So that’s cassette and 8-track.  What about CD and vinyl?  Maxie has plenty of both, but my tab was starting to rack up.  I gave him $20 for this rare AC/DC longbox, still sealed.

It’s the live “Highway to Hell” single, with long box intact and not in terrible shape.  I used to have CD longboxes, but I foolishly tossed them when I moved, assuming their were worth next to nothing.  Just paper.  But now…

Next up:  Max has been trying to sell me a tape deck for years.  This one was $20, a Kenwood.  My old Sony has seen the better of days, and Max says this one runs perfectly.  I guess we’ll find out soon enough, to try out these new tapes I just bought, huh?

Finally, we have the magazine scores.  Some MAD, some Cracked, some Star Wars, and some music!  Even a M.E.A.T Magazine!  A little bit of everything, and…woah, that’s Lee Aaron!!

Max has so much stuff, and you still have time to get down there.  Kites, speakers, tape decks, collectables, magazines, all killer deals!  Blank media galore.

Am I ever glad I went to Trillion Dollar Treats to see Max the Axe on my Saturday morning.  My Friday was brutal – absolutely brutal.  I am sure you will eventually be reading about it in one way or another.  My real life has a habit of becoming public knowledge, because when I’m hurting inside, I need to get it out.  My only weakness.  Thank you to everyone who sent helpful messages and offered to talk.  I need to single out Boppin, Jex, Tim, James and especially Jen for talking to me last night and this morning.  I love you all.

 

#1059: Dear D

RECORD STORE TALES #1059: Dear D

 

Nine years ago, after the explosive finale of Record Store Tales where I revealed why I quit for the very first time, the fallout was pretty epic.  I had to end two friendships over it.  One of them sent me an email about it all, that I never read until today.  I was searching through my old email address, looking for unpublished Record Store Tales that I could use for something.  Boy did I find one.

The sender said that I wasn’t allowed to use his email for story content, so I’ll paraphrase.

This former Record Store employee seemed to be primarily upset about the fact that I wasn’t cool with the Record Store demanding that I keep my personal cell phone on 24/7.  I spoke to a lawyer; they can’t do that.  It’s funny how upset these guys were about that.  “Oh, your boss that you hated always kept her cell phone on 24/7.”  Yeah.  Because it was her work phone.  She didn’t pay for it.  She had to keep it on.  It was for work.  My phone was for getting lost on road trips into the GTA.  Came in handy a lot for that.

This sender also engaged in some one-upmanship.  “Oh if you think you had it bad, you should see what I see in my current field of work.”

Never was a competition, dude.  Although he seemed to like to make it one in a lot of his past comments.

“Oh wow, you had an alarm company call you at night?  I had one call me three times in one night.”

That kind of thing.  Competitive.

He loses all credibility by referring to Spoogecakes’ legendary hateful comment as as “constructive feedback”.  You be the judge.  Seriously?  Biased much?  No grip on reality?  If I had been the one to send that “feedback”, you’d be singing a different tune, Bub.

My nine-year belated response:

 


Hi D!  Long time no chat.  It appears that nine years ago, you sent me this email that I never read.  I stumbled upon it just now.

I can’t help but notice that both you and your buddy ignored the fact that my cell phone was my own personal phone, nothing to do with the Store, paid for by me, for my own personal use.  As you know, an employer can’t suddenly demand that you keep a personal cell phone on 24/7.  If I did not tell anyone that I had a cell phone, nobody could have called it, and nothing could have been done about it.  It would have been my personal secret.  The manager of our biggest store, Joe, did not have a cell phone at all, as you well know.  Why was that OK for him, but I had to leave my personal phone on 24/7?

You know all this because you’re an expert on such matters.  You didn’t have to consult a lawyer on such things, like I did.

It’s funny that both of you ignored that unethical behaviour from our old boss.  Wouldn’t have anything to do with her being your friend, would it?  She was at your wedding, as I recall.  Both you and your buddy’s weddings, in fact.  You wouldn’t have a bias here, would you?

Hope you’re well,

Mike

“Write a letter, you’ll feel better”

#1058: I Love It Loud

RECORD STORE TALES #1058: I Love It Loud

Lately, after Grab A Stack of Rock on Friday nights, my wife and I have enjoyed watching old 80s music videos.  I’m not sure the program she watches – I’m not a TV guy – but they always have a lot of old videos that I remember from childhood, along with a bunch that I don’t.  Conversation ensues for a few solid hours, and it’s often the highlight of my week.

“Tears Are Falling” by Kiss is one video that runs semi-regularly.  I explained to my wife that I was 13 years old when that video came out, just discovering girls, and hot for the one in the Kiss video.  Then on will come an old Scorpions video, or Motley, or Priest, or Ozzy.  I’d laugh at all these images I used to take so seriously, and think were so cool!  But the songs…they still rock!

Skid Row, Whitesnake, Bon Jovi…all these definitive bands for my teen years.

On comes “I Can’t Drive 55” by Sammy Hagar and I’m splitting my sides, laughing in memories.  There is one specific shot.  The courtroom scene.  The judge is stamping “REVOKED” on Sammy’s driver’s license, in a big close up shot.  All you can see is two fingers on the stamp, it’s so close up.  My friend Allen Runstetler thought the two fingers looked like a bum.

“Is he stamping his license with his ass?”

Gotta laugh.  Wouldn’t put it past an 80s music video to do that, but it was just a hand!

They play a lot of Kix videos on Friday nights.  I was never a big Kix fan.  They actually play a lot of bands that I never got into, especially from 1990-91-92.  I was getting tired of hard rock and seeking heavier sounds like Testament.  Danger Danger and the like?  Just couldn’t get into ’em.  I wanted bands with stellar musicianship and less-silly lyrics by then.  A lot of the music I listened to wasn’t exactly respected in musicians’ circles, but could still play circles around the competition.  Winger had Reb Beach and Rod Morgenstein.  Mr. Big had Paul Gilbert and Common Knowledge.  Even Poison joined the upper echelon in 1993 with a stellar album featuring Richie Kotzen on guitar.  I wanted music that at least had a little bit of integrity.  I wasn’t hearing that so much in Danger Danger.

As the music videos come and go, I feel like I’m in highschool again.  Especially when they play “Sleeping My Day Away” by D-A-D!

“Oh my God Jen!  I was sitting in Bob Schipper’s basement when this video played on the Power Hour for the first time!” I marveled.  “Bob was obsessed with the two-string bass that they had!”  And together we’d rock out.  In 1989 with Bob, and in 2023 with Jen.  Fists still pumping.

When Jen and I first met, she didn’t know any of these songs.  She didn’t think she’d even like many of these songs.  Now she knows most of ’em by heart.  I’d like to consider that a job well done.  I’ll talk, and talk, and tell my stories, and for some reason, she loves it!  I’ll take that as a life win.

#1057: “To Each Their Own!” – The P*ss Blanket Story

RECORD STORE TALES #1057: “To Each Their Own!” – The Piss Blanket Story

Guilty as charged.  I was filming a dumpster diver.

I was leaving for work Friday morning when I saw this guy picking through the bottles in recycling, as they often do.  He was soon joined by a second guy, and they tore through the recycling looking for anything of value.  When the second guy jumped into the dumpster, I couldn’t resist.  The bad part of me wanted a video, so I shot a little bit of video and then pocketed my phone again.

I watched as the guy found a box with a deep fryer in it, but then my jaw dropped as I saw him liberate a large, white blanket….

[continued in video]

As I drove off, I saw the two guys riding the bikes, with the one fellow clutching the piss blanket holding his precious deep fryer.

Weird Friday.

#1056: Spring Metal on the Other Side of Winter

RECORD STORE TALES #1056: Spring Metal on the Other Side of Winter

I think many people share my sentiment that this winter was absolutely brutal.

Since ages past, it has always been a celebration when the sun emerges warmly after a long, cold winter.  Memories flooding back.  So many memories.

1986.  On the back porch at the cottage, playing “Turbo Lover” and “Locked In”, freshly recorded in mono from MuchMusic, from the brand new Judas Priest album Turbo.   I was probably told to turn it down….

1987.  On my bike.  I had received The Final Countdown by Europe for Easter.  It was difficult for me to get into; different from what I was used to.  I remember cruising down Carson Ave on my bike with that album in my head.  Best track for me:  “Cherokee”.  I loved the keyboard hook and the chorus.

1988.  I was given Skyscraper by David Lee Roth for Easter.  It became a “warm weather album” that spring, played many times weekly in a Walkman while riding a bike or strolling through the neighbourhood looking for girls.  (Not that I ever found any.)  Memories of setting up my ghetto blaster on the front porch, with Skyscraper serenading the street.  That cassette wore out rapidly.  It was one my first CD re-buys a couple years down the road (spring ’91).

1989.  Trying to look cool, and practicing my guitar on the front patio for the world to see.  I was never any good, but I am sure that “Mary Had A Little Lamb” really delivered the spring-like vibes I was laying down.  In my earphones were things like New Jersey by Bon Jovi, House Of Lords’ self-titled debut, Quiet Riot’s latest with Paul Shortino on lead vocals.  Amazingly though, 1987’s Hysteria by Def Leppard was still in my Walkman.  The album had incredibly long legs.  I was hoping for one more single, which never came to be.  I picked “Love and Affection” as my favourite in ’89.  Then, I had some new buys!  We had just joined Columbia House.  I split the membership with my sister and picked up these treasures that rocked my whole spring:

  1. Leatherwolf – Leatherwolf
  2. Motley Crue – Girls, Girls, Girls
  3. Hurricane – Over the Edge
  4. Stryper – To Hell With the Devil
  5. Stryper – In God We Trust
  6. White Lion – Pride
  7. Sammy Hagar – VOA

Shortly after the first seven, I added Triumph Stages to the list, which carried on rocking me into the summer of 1989.  That year was one of the most critical in my life as a music fan, and the spring motherlode from Columbia House had a lot to do with it.

1990.  I was now working at the local grocery store, Zehrs.  Short-haired and geekier than ever, I was really getting in Black Sabbath.  Pushing the shopping carts in long lines, singing “Sweet Leaf”, but having no idea what it was about.  When I declared it as my favourite Black Sabbath song, people reacted strangely and I didn’t know why.  I guess they thought I was into the pot!  I thought the “Leaf” of the song was a girl named Leaf.

1991.  The end of highschool loomed…I felt very free.  Very excited about the future.  The future of hard rock.  Little did I know!  I was listening to a lot of the new Mr. Big that spring, an album called Lean Into It.  I thought they had really refined their sound.  I had also taken the dive into indi rock, and Raw M.E.A.T was absolutely one of my favourite CDs that spring.

Good place to end this trip down memory land:  happy memories, all of them!  I wonder what will be dominating the car stereo with the windows down this spring?

#1055: Alone Again

RECORD STORE TALES #1055: Alone Again

I think I’ve felt alone most of my life.  Alone inside my head.  Sometimes creating worlds of imagination, sometimes overthinking the world around me.  I guess not much has changed in that regard.

Eventually you come to crave that alone feeling, even when you would be better off out with friends.  Just because that alone feeling is what is safe and comfortable to you.  It’s a situation you can control.

I suppose this lonely feeling began in grade school, where I did not fit in and had few kids that I would consider truly friends.  We were not “friends” because we liked one another, we were “friends” because we were in the same grade at school.  It was a case of proximity and temporal coincidence and nothing more.  Those kids — Kevin Kirby, Ian Johnson, Kenny Lawrence — they were not my friends.  We might have spent time together, but by the end of the 8th grade they had sided with the bullies and expelled from my life.

My friends from my neighbourhood were the real deal.  But we weren’t in school together.  We were separated most of the time.  And so for just about all of grade school, I felt alone.  Hearing conversations I was not a part of, wishing I was in on others’ jokes, or longing to be picked first for something.  Anything.  It was not meant to be for me.

As I got older and friends moved on with work, school, and families, I spent a lot of time in my room listening to music.  Though it is not something I do anymore, and kind of wish I did, I used to lay on the bed, playing an album for the first time, and reading the lyrics along line by line.  Studying them, trying to penetrate the meaning.  Squinting the eyes to read the tiny print on the inside of a cassette J-card.

Though I’m not alone today, and have not been for 17 years, it’s startling sometimes how easily I can slip back into that mindset.  It can happen in the car or on the couch.  I retreat into my head, and those feelings of isolation creep back like the tide.  I remember loving and hating the Rush song “Subdivisions”.  A great song, with a phat synth riff that echoes in the head for days.  But the lyrics hit a little too close to him.  “Be cool or be cast out.”  Was that my fate, to be cast out every time I tried?  Only when it stopped mattering if people were cool or not did I finally feel like I was no longer alone.

Sometimes retreating into those lonely spaces one more time can result in helpful introspection.  Other times, it just brings me down.  The constant has always been the music.  Music has always been there.  If it’s not in my ears, it’s always in my head.  I can hear songs in my mind when I need them.  The songs of my life’s soundtrack will always be there to accompany my smiles and tears.

#1054: The Darkest Winter

RECORD STORE TALES #1054: The Darkest Winter

I think I’m going to go ahead and declare winter “over”.  In Canada that can be a rather meaningless gesture, but I’m going to do it anyway.  So let’s talk about mental health during the winter of 2022-23.

Winter started mild.  Most importantly though, I had this plan, see….

Well you know what they say about plans.

It was a simple plan, and it did work for the first part of the winter.  Because I have Seasonal Affective Disorder, winter can be the most difficult time of year for me.  Winter in Canada can be unpleasant.  Dark, wet, cold, often all three at once.  The nights are long.  The days are spent in an office.  When I arrived at work, it was still dark.  When I left for home, it was already dark.  This takes its toll.  So what was the plan, then?  The plan was to try and see winter through new eyes.  My American friend MarriedandHeels has never experienced winter.  I thought it would be fun to share images and videos of things she doesn’t see every day, like giant icicles, road salt, snowbanks and all the rest of it.  For a time, it worked.  The novelty of it was really fun.  Some of these snowbanks were mountains!  Her reactions were entertaining (especially to the idea of road salt).  However, as the months dragged it, this wore itself out on me.  Every day seemed like a repeat of the last.  The snow lingered and lingered on, accumulating and dominating the images.

Things started to go to hell.  Everyone in my family except my dad has had Covid, including my 98 year old grandmother.

Oh, my grandmother.

She took ill early this year.  We thought was was gone, twice.  I wrote her eulogy!  I came home from work early and wrote a eulogy…and she keeps hanging on.  I have grieved her twice this year already!  But she is currently doing well.

My sister has been sick, my mom has been sick, my dad is feeling the years take their toll on his body.

I’ve been sick twice, once with stomach ailments and once with Covid.  Same with Jen, but she’s had a much longer dance with Lady ‘Rona.  The isolation also takes its toll.

I would say I fell apart a couple times this winter.  Two people thought I should see a psychiatrist and get put on happy pills.  I have tried happy pills before and they do not work for me.  They wreak havoc on my stomach and I prefer to do this without prescriptions.  MarriedandHeels expressed her concern that I had fallen into a depression, and I agreed with her.

But then things started to change.  The clocks went forward, giving more daylight during the leisure hours.  The snow started to finally melt.  The birds are returning.  And soon the snow tires will be off!  And that can only mean one thing.  Cottage season!

I’m starting to feel like myself again.

This has been without a doubt the most brutal winter since the winter of cancer, 2018.  Did you know it was actually the darkest winter in Ontario in 80 years?  That means it was the darkest winter most of us have ever experienced.

Winter took its toll, did its damage, but I won.  I am still standing and it is gone.

I won.