RECORD STORE TALES #1066: Sausagefest Intro by Jeff Woods
Jeff Woods is a radio personality known for The Legends of Classic Rock, and the Records and Rockstars Podcast. Mr. Woods was kind enough to record a sketch for our Sausagefesting adventures, and you won’t believe what the guys got him to say.
Three cheers for Jeff Woods, a good sport and a great human.
Music: The Last Train by Tee Bone Erickson.
RECORD STORE TALES #1065: Even the Best Weekends Can Turn to Crap
It started great!
Thursday night, the music on the trip up to the lake was amazing. We began with The Cult’s Fire Woman EP, and moved on to Michigan Left by the Arkells. Jen fell asleep in the car and I was left to sing along by myself. Never a problem!
We came packed with lots of Lego, and plenty of new music to unbox live on Grab A Stack of Rock. We arrived with coffee, treats and tunes! Immediately I set up on the front porch and started playing mellow music. Jim Cuddy’s All In Time is one of the best cottage front porch albums for dancing that I have ever heard. From rockers to tear-jerking ballads, what an album! I used to consider it “just a Blue Rodeo album without Greg” but it’s actually far more than that. Articulating it is hard, but the album evoked emotions and dance moves that Blue Rodeo didn’t. We also played some of Alice Cooper’s more emotional, cinematic tunes that night. It was a magical start.
Friday was a wonderful day! I commenced with some more porch music, and then we hit The Beef Way for our weekend meat! We chose two T-bone steaks, a turkey breast fillet (for Jen) and a beautiful duck breast (for me). It was my first duck breast. I seasoned heavily with salt, pepper and garlic powder to offset that gamey taste. I scored the fat, cooked it skin side down in a frying pan for 10 minutes to get it cripsy, and finished it in the BBQ. When finished, you could have mistaken it for steak, it was that good. The skin was the best part, and I’ll get duck breast from The Beef Way again. Just an awesome lunch!
Of course, Friday night was Grab A Stack of Rock, and an excellent show was had, almost two hours long! I’m calling it the “No More Heels Tour of 2023”. This was my first cottage weekend since August 2022 where I wasn’t making videos and taking pictures for my former friend, Manda. With that friendship now ended, it was hard to be motivated to produce fun nature images. However, one door closes and another opens. I focused on music instead, and Grab A Stack really did rock this time! Lots of new music revealed, to be reviewed in the coming weeks/months, including Journey Through Time.
First thing Saturday morning, I taped an excellent Tim’s Vinyl Confessions, reviewing the new Def Leppard Drastic Symphonies. I cannot wait until this airs! Although we were both kind but critical, I’m sure the Fanboy trolls will be out when it’s released on YouTube. I will of course be posting it here for ease of viewing. It was possibly my favourite Tim’s Vinyl Confessions that I’ve been involved with to date!
We did “Jazz Saturday” morning with Herbie Hancock’s Quartet. By recommendation of Robert Lawson, next Jazz Saturday will be to Pat Metheny’s Bright Size Life. It’s ordered and on its way. Then we switched to the back yard, and built Lego all afternoon. We are both enjoying the Lego “Speed Champions” series of licensed car models. They are all roughly the same scale and although they are similar in design, very few of them use the exact same design techniques. Jen also build a New York City skyline, while I finally finished my knockoff Titanic set. I’ll never buy knockoff Lego again. It looks cool complete, but it was very hard to build with confusing instructions and bags. The final fitting pieces were not up to Lego’s standards. It does look good, but never again.
It was Saturday evening that turned everything to shit.
I made the steaks, damn perfect if you asked me, and Jen proclaimed “I’m gonna eat the whole thing!” I was already half full from snacking on chips so I knew I was keeping leftovers. As she took a mid-meal break, Jen had a seizure.
The coffee spilled. The Coke spilled. I could stop neither because I was busy keeping her from falling off her chair. Eventually I got her safely down, where she soaked herself in spilled coffee. It took some work to get her into bed. More seizures later that night. She fell off the bed, and once again Mike managed to pull off a save. I’ve lost track of the rest of the seizures that night but we figured it was four or five total. Not the most restful night, and I was completely exhausted from cleaning up the spills. I went to bed early and slept in late. Not the way I usually do things at the cottage. I like to stay up late and enjoy the creatures of the night. That didn’t happen this weekend.
I came home Sunday completely exhausted and Jen slept the entire way. Music on the way home was also mellow: Ward One: Along the Way and When the Bough Breaks by Bill Ward. Really good and felt appropriate to my mood.
We will have more Lego to build next time. My Jazz Quartet set looks challenging and interesting. Hopefully the next trip will be less eventful!
RECORD STORE TALES #1065: Even the Best Weekends Can Turn to Crap
It started great!
Thursday night, the music on the trip up to the lake was amazing. We began with The Cult’s Fire Woman EP, and moved on to Michigan Left by the Arkells. Jen fell asleep in the car and I was left to sing along by myself. Never a problem!
We came packed with lots of Lego, and plenty of new music to unbox live on Grab A Stack of Rock. We arrived with coffee, treats and tunes! Immediately I set up on the front porch and started playing mellow music. Jim Cuddy’s All In Time is one of the best cottage front porch albums for dancing that I have ever heard. From rockers to tear-jerking ballads, what an album! I used to consider it “just a Blue Rodeo album without Greg” but it’s actually far more than that. Articulating it is hard, but the album evoked emotions and dance moves that Blue Rodeo didn’t. We also played some of Alice Cooper’s more emotional, cinematic tunes that night. It was a magical start.
Friday was a wonderful day! I commenced with some more porch music, and then we hit The Beef Way for our weekend meat! We chose two T-bone steaks, a turkey breast fillet (for Jen) and a beautiful duck breast (for me). It was my first duck breast. I seasoned heavily with salt, pepper and garlic powder to offset that gamey taste. I scored the fat, cooked it skin side down in a frying pan for 10 minutes to get it cripsy, and finished it in the BBQ. When finished, you could have mistaken it for steak, it was that good. The skin was the best part, and I’ll get duck breast from The Beef Way again. Just an awesome lunch!
Of course, Friday night was Grab A Stack of Rock, and an excellent show was had, almost two hours long! Grab A Stack really did rock this time! Lots of new music revealed, to be reviewed in the coming weeks/months, including Journey Through Time.
First thing Saturday morning, I taped an excellent Tim’s Vinyl Confessions, reviewing the new Def Leppard Drastic Symphonies. I cannot wait until this airs! Although we were both kind but critical, I’m sure the Fanboy trolls will be out when it’s released on YouTube. I will of course be posting it here for ease of viewing. It was possibly my favourite Tim’s Vinyl Confessions that I’ve been involved with to date!
We did “Jazz Saturday” morning with Herbie Hancock’s Quartet. By recommendation of Robert Lawson, next Jazz Saturday will be to Pat Metheny’s Bright Size Life. It’s ordered and on its way. Then we switched to the back yard, and built Lego all afternoon. We are both enjoying the Lego “Speed Champions” series of licensed car models. They are all roughly the same scale and although they are similar in design, very few of them use the exact same design techniques. Jen also build a New York City skyline, while I finally finished my knockoff Titanic set. I’ll never buy knockoff Lego again. It looks cool complete, but it was very hard to build with confusing instructions and bags. The final fitting pieces were not up to Lego’s standards. It does look good, but never again.
It was Saturday evening that turned everything to shit.
I made the steaks, damn perfect if you asked me, and Jen proclaimed “I’m gonna eat the whole thing!” I was already half full from snacking on chips so I knew I was keeping leftovers. As she took a mid-meal break, Jen had a seizure.
The coffee spilled. The Coke spilled. I could stop neither because I was busy keeping her from falling off her chair. Eventually I got her safely down, where she soaked herself in spilled coffee. It took some work to get her into bed. More seizures later that night. She fell off the bed, and once again Mike managed to pull off a save. I’ve lost track of the rest of the seizures that night but we figured it was four or five total. Not the most restful night, and I was completely exhausted from cleaning up the spills. I went to bed early and slept in late. Not the way I usually do things at the cottage. I like to stay up late and enjoy the creatures of the night. That didn’t happen this weekend.
I came home Sunday completely exhausted and Jen slept the entire way. Music on the way home was also mellow: Ward One: Along the Way and When the Bough Breaks by Bill Ward. Really good and felt appropriate to my mood.
We will have more Lego to build next time. My Jazz Quartet set looks challenging and interesting. Hopefully the next trip will be less eventful!
RECORD STORE TALES #1064: “Mean People Suck”
Working retail, year after grinding year, can wear you down. I have friends who have been doing it for over 30 years, and I don’t know how. I barely lasted ten. In the end, I checked out before hitting my twelfth anniversary.
I outlasted T-Rev by a couple years. He had been complaining to me a long, long time about retail. He managed our Cambridge location. He was really tiring of the predictable daily routine. People arguing over prices, condition, or the right of the customer to use our washroom or not. (Not!) I worked at his location for many weeks one summer. They had a cutout from a magazine in the bathroom that said “MEAN PEOPLE SUCK”. They modified it to read “PEOPLE SUCK”. Not the kind of thing you want your customers to see.
It was true though. We were inundated with a such a myriad of stupid and flat-out meanness over the years that it could wear down Mt. Everest to gravel. I’ve been called an asshole, four-eyes, deaf…and you’re just expected to take it all. You have to take it with a smile on your face when a customer tries to pull one over on you. You have to absorb all their rage when you screw up. Just take it.
I couldn’t always take it. Some of these guys triggered me and I lashed back verbally. And I was better at it than any of them. It happened three times, that I can remember. And let me tell you, they had it coming!
I paid for it in spades, but they had it coming.
One thing that I blame for this was management’s strict rules about things like returns and reservations. I didn’t like getting yelled at for accepting returns that I shouldn’t have, so I erred on the side of caution. I probably could have gotten away with things, like a return without a receipt, and I think other people probably did, but instead I got blasted by customers. It was kind of a lose/lose. Having said this, if I remembered the person buying the CD, no problem! If I didn’t…
Here’s something funny, a lot of customers expected you to remember them. “Hey! I’m back!” was a phrase I heard frequently from strangers. We had regulars that we knew by name, but there were always total strangers who would say, “I was here two weeks, and you sold me a Skynyrd CD, remember?”
When I was a kid, grade 3 or 4, I remember being put in charge of selling things from a table at a school sale. I had to take change and sometimes make change. I loved it. I loved the interaction with the other kids, and all the smiles. I think I was only there for an hour, but I felt amazing. I came home from school that day all aglow, telling my dad that I knew what I wanted to do when I grew up. It’s a shame the reality didn’t live up to the childhood expectation.
Smiles were infrequent. You’d think people would be happier buying music. I am. On the other hand, just as those customers who berated me on every visit didn’t know me or anything about me, I also did not know them. Their reasons for their ill tempers were none of my business.
I think we can still all agree on one thing: mean people suck!
RECORD STORE TALES #1063: Life is Like a Lake
Over the course of 51 years on the shores of Lake Huron, I have witnessed the power of nature and the change it brings every season. Change is the one constant in life, isn’t it? For better or worse, everything changes. Nothing can remain static. Things wear and decay, and are eventually replaced by newer, younger things. This is obvious every spring on the shores of Huron. The coast changes, the rocks, the trees, everything. In a way, life is like a lake.
When we returned this spring, much had changed. The seasons are unrelenting. We found several large rocks, freshly cracked, and sharp like blades. Over the summer and fall, water found its way through microscopic cracks in the stones. Over winter, it froze and expanded, breaking rocks clean in half. The remnants are like ancient stone cutting tools, sharp and jagged. In a way, that’s parallel with relationships. Sometimes things set in, year after year, until they eventually expand and crack the relationship in two. I’ve experienced this recently. The edges that cut are still painful.
Things die over the winter. Some young trees do not survive. Older ones fall, only to become firewood for the coming year. Just like life, and the losses we experience more and more as we get older. It never gets easier. It’s a matter of picking up the pieces are carrying on.
The only constant at the lake is change. Eternal change. This is especially obvious when you look back at old photographs. The lake levels change, the beach is covered with rocks one year, and sand the next. The changes cannot be predicted, except that the land will change. Where men once pushed the forest and weeds back, now they encroach again when left untended. It’s quite amazing how quickly nature can retake a patch of land left untouched. Just like life. Neglect an aspect of your life, be it physical or mental, and you will notice the difference. Life must be worked, at constantly, or you will lose what you gained.
Some years, there is more life than others. Some years, wild turkeys. Other years, foxes. Perhaps the foxes scared away the turkeys. Once in a while we’ll have a dear, or a bear. Raccoons, porcupines and skunks are common. When the animals disappear, you can only guess as to why. Kind of like being “ghosted” in life. Sometimes they return unexpectedly. Always a delight. Like a friend returning after a long absence.
One thing that is clear at the lake: You cannot return to the past. The past is gone, like the ghost of a memory. Things only move forwards, not backwards. The massive winter ice sheets we used to get are gone now, likely never to return in my lifetime. The rivers carve away the landscape, leaving different shapes. The cliffs we used to walk as kids no longer exist, or are now on inaccessible private property, built over and paved. There is no return. Those things are gone.
And that’s life in a nutshell.
One does not question the mighty Max the Axe why he has three kites (and one has propellers). One simply walks into his garage and purchases two of the kites. And a CD to boot.
I don’t understand how many of Max’s treats weren’t snapped up by his hordes of fans and followers a few short weeks ago. He did have a kite I was interested in. As a gift, to my sister, Dr. Kathryn. In fact, on my show a couple weeks ago, I told Jex Russell that I was going to return to Max’s and buy one of his kites for my sister. I even said, “She’s not watching this anyway.” But she was, and so she knows she’s getting a new kite. It truly is a beauty.
For $10 each, I took home two $30 (retail) kites. The dragon one, we know it flies — because at Max’s sale, it caught a gust of wind and took off down the street! The other is still sealed in package. And I didn’t buy the one with propellers because it looked pretty complicated and didn’t have instructions.
The CD I bought for $5 was Around the Next Dream by BBM (1994) – Jack Bruce, Ginger Baker, and Gary Moore. You might recognize that as the Cream rhythm section but with Gary Moore on guitar instead of Eric Clapton. All these years and I’ve never heard it before now. Good score.
It wasn’t for sale, but I had to snap a picture of Max’s one of a kind signed Sheavy poster. A great band that no longer exists, but really should. A piece of history right there on his wall.
Max is having another sale with his whole neighbourhood next month. Be sure to check out Trillion Dollar Treats on June 17 for more goodies and treasures!
RECORD STORE TALES #1061: Musical Flashbacks and Flame Throwers
I know how to pick the tunes.
Trip up: Of course, it had to be High Noon by the Arkells. Had to be. That album has become too important to me. And so we played and I sang along, and really struggled and failed to hit the one “ooo ooo ooo” in “Never Thought That This Could Happen”. One of many signs of my aging body this weekend.
Three day weekends are really special. Sure, we didn’t get to finish everything we wanted to. But we did have fun. For the first time, we checked out a local shop called the Beef Way. We picked up a delicious tomahawk steak and some apple pie jam. Highly recommended. We are all done with Robert’s Boxed Meats in Kitchener. For the second time, he sold us steak that had gone bad. Never again, Robert! Beef Way has our money now. Guy was super helpful.
When we arrived on the front porch, it was all about the music once again. I captured some on video for you to enjoy, and I hope it gives you that “being there” feeling. The idea this weekend was, once again, to travel back in time. Listening to albums in the place I first heard them: the cottage. Priest…Live! Misplaced Childhood by Marillion. White Lion’s Big Game (who Jen understandably confused with Bon Jovi). This time it just made me glow.
The biggest deal about this weekend was the unprecedented spotting of wildlife! I managed to capture all of it either on photo or video. There was a beefy raccoon. We had a turkey. There was a beautiful skunk. Best of all, our fearless little chipmunk friend returned to visit us on both front and back porches. On Saturday we had a Lego session, and he came right out to help.
A word about Lego: It sure has changed a lot since we were kids. Now there are angles for every degree and orientation, slopes we never had before, lots of pieces that have both right and left-handed counterparts, and building techniques that involve going sideways just as often as upwards. It was challenging for both of us. But we’re both making progress! And I thought we’d be done in a weekend….
If YouTube allows the music, then check out my picks.
2023 is off to a banging start!
RECORD STORE TALES #1060: Max the Axe’s Garage Sale
A huge thank-you to my host Max the Axe today at a fantastic garage sale! BEHOLD!
“9:00 AM!” he said. “Serving shots and weed to my Facebook friends starting at 9 AM!”
There was no way I was missing this garage sale.
I only had four hours sleep, and a large Tim Horton’s coffee, to prepare me. I didn’t think I could make it. After the events of last night, which left me rocked (in a bad way), I didn’t think I was up for it. But at 9:00 AM I said “to hell with it, let’s go,” and Jen and I were in the car off to the Trillion Dollar Treats that Max had on offer.
First up: cassettes! I picked up six:
You can blame Tim Durling for my sudden interest in buying Cassettes That I Already Own On Remastered CDs. He did point out the Diver Down cassette was an unusual cover variant, with the image slanted taking up the whole cover.
Speaking of Tim Durling…
I’ve caught the 8-track bug, baby! Tim remarked that my copy was in better condition than his. Max had more 8-tracks but none from bands that I collected.
So that’s cassette and 8-track. What about CD and vinyl? Maxie has plenty of both, but my tab was starting to rack up. I gave him $20 for this rare AC/DC longbox, still sealed.
It’s the live “Highway to Hell” single, with long box intact and not in terrible shape. I used to have CD longboxes, but I foolishly tossed them when I moved, assuming their were worth next to nothing. Just paper. But now…
Next up: Max has been trying to sell me a tape deck for years. This one was $20, a Kenwood. My old Sony has seen the better of days, and Max says this one runs perfectly. I guess we’ll find out soon enough, to try out these new tapes I just bought, huh?
Finally, we have the magazine scores. Some MAD, some Cracked, some Star Wars, and some music! Even a M.E.A.T Magazine! A little bit of everything, and…woah, that’s Lee Aaron!!
Max has so much stuff, and you still have time to get down there. Kites, speakers, tape decks, collectables, magazines, all killer deals! Blank media galore.
Am I ever glad I went to Trillion Dollar Treats to see Max the Axe on my Saturday morning. My Friday was brutal – absolutely brutal. I am sure you will eventually be reading about it in one way or another. My real life has a habit of becoming public knowledge, because when I’m hurting inside, I need to get it out. My only weakness. Thank you to everyone who sent helpful messages and offered to talk. I need to single out Boppin, Jex, Tim, James and especially Jen for talking to me last night and this morning. I love you all.
RECORD STORE TALES #1059: Dear D
Nine years ago, after the explosive finale of Record Store Tales where I revealed why I quit for the very first time, the fallout was pretty epic. I had to end two friendships over it. One of them sent me an email about it all, that I never read until today. I was searching through my old email address, looking for unpublished Record Store Tales that I could use for something. Boy did I find one.
The sender said that I wasn’t allowed to use his email for story content, so I’ll paraphrase.
This former Record Store employee seemed to be primarily upset about the fact that I wasn’t cool with the Record Store demanding that I keep my personal cell phone on 24/7. I spoke to a lawyer; they can’t do that. It’s funny how upset these guys were about that. “Oh, your boss that you hated always kept her cell phone on 24/7.” Yeah. Because it was her work phone. She didn’t pay for it. She had to keep it on. It was for work. My phone was for getting lost on road trips into the GTA. Came in handy a lot for that.
This sender also engaged in some one-upmanship. “Oh if you think you had it bad, you should see what I see in my current field of work.”
Never was a competition, dude. Although he seemed to like to make it one in a lot of his past comments.
“Oh wow, you had an alarm company call you at night? I had one call me three times in one night.”
That kind of thing. Competitive.
He loses all credibility by referring to Spoogecakes’ legendary hateful comment as as “constructive feedback”. You be the judge. Seriously? Biased much? No grip on reality? If I had been the one to send that “feedback”, you’d be singing a different tune, Bub.
My nine-year belated response:
Hi D! Long time no chat. It appears that nine years ago, you sent me this email that I never read. I stumbled upon it just now.
I can’t help but notice that both you and your buddy ignored the fact that my cell phone was my own personal phone, nothing to do with the Store, paid for by me, for my own personal use. As you know, an employer can’t suddenly demand that you keep a personal cell phone on 24/7. If I did not tell anyone that I had a cell phone, nobody could have called it, and nothing could have been done about it. It would have been my personal secret. The manager of our biggest store, Joe, did not have a cell phone at all, as you well know. Why was that OK for him, but I had to leave my personal phone on 24/7?
You know all this because you’re an expert on such matters. You didn’t have to consult a lawyer on such things, like I did.
It’s funny that both of you ignored that unethical behaviour from our old boss. Wouldn’t have anything to do with her being your friend, would it? She was at your wedding, as I recall. Both you and your buddy’s weddings, in fact. You wouldn’t have a bias here, would you?
Hope you’re well,
Mike
“Write a letter, you’ll feel better”
RECORD STORE TALES #1058: I Love It Loud
Lately, after Grab A Stack of Rock on Friday nights, my wife and I have enjoyed watching old 80s music videos. I’m not sure the program she watches – I’m not a TV guy – but they always have a lot of old videos that I remember from childhood, along with a bunch that I don’t. Conversation ensues for a few solid hours, and it’s often the highlight of my week.
“Tears Are Falling” by Kiss is one video that runs semi-regularly. I explained to my wife that I was 13 years old when that video came out, just discovering girls, and hot for the one in the Kiss video. Then on will come an old Scorpions video, or Motley, or Priest, or Ozzy. I’d laugh at all these images I used to take so seriously, and think were so cool! But the songs…they still rock!
Skid Row, Whitesnake, Bon Jovi…all these definitive bands for my teen years.
On comes “I Can’t Drive 55” by Sammy Hagar and I’m splitting my sides, laughing in memories. There is one specific shot. The courtroom scene. The judge is stamping “REVOKED” on Sammy’s driver’s license, in a big close up shot. All you can see is two fingers on the stamp, it’s so close up. My friend Allen Runstetler thought the two fingers looked like a bum.
“Is he stamping his license with his ass?”
Gotta laugh. Wouldn’t put it past an 80s music video to do that, but it was just a hand!
They play a lot of Kix videos on Friday nights. I was never a big Kix fan. They actually play a lot of bands that I never got into, especially from 1990-91-92. I was getting tired of hard rock and seeking heavier sounds like Testament. Danger Danger and the like? Just couldn’t get into ’em. I wanted bands with stellar musicianship and less-silly lyrics by then. A lot of the music I listened to wasn’t exactly respected in musicians’ circles, but could still play circles around the competition. Winger had Reb Beach and Rod Morgenstein. Mr. Big had Paul Gilbert and Common Knowledge. Even Poison joined the upper echelon in 1993 with a stellar album featuring Richie Kotzen on guitar. I wanted music that at least had a little bit of integrity. I wasn’t hearing that so much in Danger Danger.
As the music videos come and go, I feel like I’m in highschool again. Especially when they play “Sleeping My Day Away” by D-A-D!
“Oh my God Jen! I was sitting in Bob Schipper’s basement when this video played on the Power Hour for the first time!” I marveled. “Bob was obsessed with the two-string bass that they had!” And together we’d rock out. In 1989 with Bob, and in 2023 with Jen. Fists still pumping.
When Jen and I first met, she didn’t know any of these songs. She didn’t think she’d even like many of these songs. Now she knows most of ’em by heart. I’d like to consider that a job well done. I’ll talk, and talk, and tell my stories, and for some reason, she loves it! I’ll take that as a life win.
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