Record Store Tales

Part 306: Happy Birthday to Me

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RECORD STORE TALES Part 306: Happy Birthday to Me

Today is my birthday!

20 years ago…20 YEARS AGO!…I was hired at the old Record Store. It wasn’t 20 years ago today; I don’t remember the exact date. But it was mere days before my birthday, two weeks at best. I was given some money for my birthday, and I remember the exact CD that I bought on July 19, 1994. It was Rush. Chronicles.

So here’s a confession, something I’ve never admitted to here before. Privately yes, but not publicly. That Rush Chronicles that I bought 20 years ago today was my first Rush album. Ever.

I was pretty late to the Rush party. I didn’t really start to pay attention to them until the 1990’s. Growing up in the late 1980’s, in my age group, none of my friends liked Rush. As far as I could tell, nobody liked Rush. They simply were not in my hemispheres. I had seen their music videos on Much, but for the most part I didn’t like what I saw. A funny looking guy, keyboards, a guitar player wearing a tie…I overlooked Rush.

I did like one song. “Subdivisions”. That song was undeniably cool, with that slick synth part as the main hook. This song, I dug. Way more than “Tom Sawyer”. Way more than “Red Barchetta”. Definitely more than “Time Stand Still”, which I considered an embarrassment at the time. “Subdivisions” stuck with me, through highschool, through university. I decided I needed to get it, so I finally started exploring the Rush repertoire. And I started with Chronicles.

I would have got it sooner, but I didn’t have the money. Now I had money, a staff discount, and access to hundreds of used CDs in great condition. I had arrived in my own musical paradise!

I was soon enthralled with Chronicles.  Many songs that were new to me were quickly becoming favourites: the new-to-CD live version of “What You’re Doing”.  The silly but instantly likable “The Trees”.  Most of all though, “Red Sector A” from Grace Under Pressure.   For a brief while, this song unseated “Subdivisions” as my favourite Rush track.

On this day, I’m going to extend a hearty virtual handshake to the man who gave me a chance at that job, the owner-founder of the store. He did it just because he knew my dad, and my dad asked him to help me out. He didn’t have to, he didn’t even ask for a resume. He just asked me to come down one afternoon and talk. That one talk irreversibly changed my life, and I look at that moment as the end of one life and the beginning of another. It was one of those proverbial turning points.

Thank you.  Now, I’m off to party!

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Part 305: The Return of the Wiseman

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RECORD STORE TALES Part 305:  The Return of the Wiseman

Seeing Wiseman at Sausagefest XIII brought back a flood of memories.  Some I can share, some I definitely cannot!  I didn’t think I’d ever see the cat again, but it truly is a small world after all.

He was a party animal, that guy, and presumably he still is.  Nice guy, smart too, but when he tied one on, he didn’t do it in half-measures.  Partying for him was the full Monty.  So here are two things I remembered about the guy:

1. Bacontinis.  Like a Martini, but with bacon instead of olives.  Count on Wiseman to try something like this, years and years before the current bacon trends.  Now people are trying bacon in everything, thanks to people like Epic Meal Time.  Wiseman was way ahead of the times when it came to alcoholic beverages.

2. Christmas.  I was scheduled to work the evening shift on December 23, with Wiseman.  He initially wanted the night off, because he had a “Christmas party” to attend.  Getting the night off wasn’t possible due to scheduling, so he came to his shift fully prepared to party afterwards.  He packed everything he needed, so he could go straight to the party afterwards.

For Wiseman, these crucial party supplies included a sleeping bag, copious amounts of liquor, a hose, and a funnel.  I kid you not.  Like I said, Wiseman didn’t do parties in half-measures.

I was glad to see at Sausagefest XIII that Wiseman hasn’t killed himself yet.  It’s comforting to know he’s still out there, bringing the party wherever he goes.

Part 304: The Richard Parker Files

RICHARD PARKER

RECORD STORE TALES Part 304: The Richard Parker Files

Don’t you hate it when you see an able-bodied driver flagrantly park his or her vehicle in a no-parking zone? That’s one that drives me nuts. For example, at one of the local malls, you’ll see people constantly parking in the lane where the NO PARKING signs are quite clearly visible. They run into the cash machine and run out again, even though there is a 15 minute parking spot available right near the cash machines, that is always empty.

Obviously these people must be in a rush. They may feel like they are more important than you or me and everyone else who actually properly parks their vehicle in a spot. It might be a fire lane, but no firetrucks were about to pull up, were they?

Maybe it’s just the asshole in me, but I didn’t like to see that in the Record Store Days. Once in a while, I wouldn’t serve a customer who parked in front of the store. Especially when I can see dozens of empty spots mere meters away. My store was not in a busy plaza. There were always close spots available. The laziness and attitude of entitlement really ground my gears.

I recall one instance very clearly. A young man pulled up to my store one store morning, and parked on the curb. There were NO PARKING signs along that curb that he chose to ignore. He came in with a bag of CDs for me to buy.

“Hi. How are you? I want to sell these,” he said.

“Sure!” I said with a broad smile. “Why don’t you go and move your car to a parking spot, and I’ll get right on it.”

He paused a moment, but had no problem with my request. “Sure, I’ll be right back,” he said. We did the transaction and I had no problems with the guy. I just politely asked him to move his car for me to proceed, and he did. No big deal.

I didn’t do that often. You could tell when the customer wouldn’t have listened to you anyway. But I looked at it as a service. Once, a guy got ticketed right out front and he didn’t notice. I was working at another location, with a more cramped parking lot. Likewise the curb lane was also narrower. It pissed me off when people parked in it, making it hard for others to get around, but it happened every day.

This guy pulled up, parked on the curb, and shopped around. I saw the parking control person outside the window, writing tickets. I laughed to myself. The customer was too busy looking for CDs to notice, even though his car was right out the window.

The parking control lady left a nice ticket on his windshield. The driver was in my store for about half an hour, and didn’t notice until he was done. I had to chuckle. That’s what happens when you’re a Richard Parker.

Part 303: Marking Your Discs

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RECORD STORE TALES Part 303:  Marking Your Discs

In the 1990’s, stealing CDs and selling them to a pawn shop or a used CD store was a fairly common way for thieves to make some money.  Today I doubt it happens at the levels I saw in the 1990’s.  You just can’t get as much for a CD today, not even close.

I had seen too many people lose valuable music to theft, and never get the discs back.  I received many visits and phone calls from upset customers, hoping that someone had sold their stolen discs to me.  But a lot of thieves were too smart to sell them in town.  They’d go somewhere else to sell them, assuming that they’d be harder to catch then.   When somebody lost dozens of CDs in a break-in, they would call all the used stores in town.  “If you see a guy bringing in a huge collection of Jazz box sets, including about a dozen Miles Davis remasters, call me.”

It was always best if you could somehow identify your collection.  Jazz box sets and Miles remasters (for example) would be easy to spot.  If somebody else called and said, “Somebody stole all my rock CDs…I had Stone Temple Pilots, Korn, Creed, Days of the New…” well, there wasn’t much hope.  These are titles that we often saw, probably every single day.  If you could somehow mark the discs as your property, however…

Different people used different methods.  In 1995, I got a call from a guy who worked at the downtown Dr. Disc.  His collection had been stolen.  He marked his discs in a unique way.  He placed a strip of tinfoil underneath the CD tray.  If somebody came in to sell a hundred CDs and they all had tinfoil under the tray, there’s your guilty party.

Most people, who didn’t care about the packaging or condition of their discs so much, would just write their name inside.  Either on the booklet, the inner tray, or the front cover.  I could never deface my music like that, and neither could T-Rev.  He came up with his own method.  Rather than mark the CD packaging itself, he wrote his initials on a tiny red sticker, and placed that somewhere unobtrusively on the CD.  If he ever wanted to remove it, he could do so without wrecking anything.

Tom didn’t share our “no permanent marks” philosophy. He embossed the front covers of his discs with a press that imprinted his initials on the front cover.  Tom gave me a couple CDs once – his initials always bothered me.  When I had the chance to swap covers with a copy that was in better condition, I did.  Tom tells me he doesn’t emboss his CDs anymore.  I’m glad he came to his senses.

T-Rev and I both have had CDs stolen, unfortunately.  Both of us had our vehicles broken into.  T-Rev never recovered the handful of discs that were in his Jeep. (I remember that one was the excellent Barstool Prophets albums Last of the Big Game Hunters.)  They never showed up, anywhere in town.  As for me, I only lost one disc – Fish’s 1998 compilation Kettle of Fish, which was inside my Discman (also stolen).  They didn’t take the CD case.  I imagine they probably threw out the CD; chances are these thieves would not enjoy the subtle sounds of Derek William Dick.  At that time, the album was not available in Canada, and I believe I had to order it directly from the official Fish site in the UK to replace it.  That cost me about $30, to replace a CD that I originally paid $7.99 for.  That was not a good day.

 

Part 302: Blackie Lawless

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RECORD STORE TALES Part 302:  Blackie Lawless

W.A.S.P. singer, founder and leader Blackie Lawless is known among fandom for his raging douchebaggery.  Witness a recent event in Russia, where Blackie ignored the one and only fan at the train station asking for his autograph.  Everybody should understand a human being’s need for privacy when they live in the limelight, but asking for an autograph at a train station is hardly imposing, especially when they’re the only fan in the place.

Blackie don’t sign nothin’!

Even back in the Record Store days, I was hearing stories about Blackie being an asshole to fans.  Witness the evidence below, an interaction I had with a customer in the late 1990’s:

Customer:  Hey, do you have any W.A.S.P. albums?

Me:  We might…are you looking for a specific one?

Customer:  No.  Just one that has a picture of the singer.  Blackie’s his name right?

Me:  Yup, Blackie Lawless.

Customer:  Here’s the thing.  I just want to see what he looks like.  I was in Toronto a couple months ago, and I swear I saw this guy.  I asked him, “Hey, are you in a rock band called W.A.S.P.?”  The guy said no, but I was sure it was him.  I said, “Come on, you’re him.  You look exactly like him.”  He had the long black hair, and he was really tall, man.

Me:  Well, Blackie’s definitely known for his hair and his height.  Sounds like him.  Hey, I have a CD called Headless Children here and there’s a picture inside.  Let’s take a look.

So we grabbed the W.A.S.P. CD and opened up the booklet.

Customer:  That’s him!  That’s the fucking guy!  I knew he was lying to me!  What an asshole.

Me: Yeah, he’s known for being one of those too!

Part 301: A Nice Pair

“Feet-ture” image:  @heelsofmine

RECORD STORE TALES Part 301: A Nice Pair

I was working the afternoon shift, and another guy named Dave was working the morning. I arrived at work at about 1:30 in the afternoon, with a big box of used stock in my hands. Upon entering, I saw that Dave was already dealing with a big box of CDs. A customer was wandering around the store, as Dave picked through his big box of discs.

I saddled up to help Dave go through the discs. The customer, a male in his early 30’s, was just looking around while he waited. He liked to talk a lot, and would periodically pipe in with a comment. “This here is a great CD, eh?” There were other customers in the store as well, including a well-dressed woman. The dude took a gander at the woman, who was wearing high heels.

When the woman was out of earshot, he said (to no one in particular):

“Woah. That’s a nice pair of feet.”

And that was something I never heard in public before. The end.

 

Part 300: Manic Nirvana

Do you own this?

MANIC

RECORD STORE TALES Part 300: Manic Nirvana

T-Rev has always been talented at building things. He built for me my first two CD towers, not to mention my cassette storage shelves built into my closet doors. No design was too elaborate. I liked a simple CD tower myself, just some shelves and some stain. T-Rev was always pushing himself to build something cooler. One of the best towers he ever built had side doors for VHS compartments, and a big black light to illuminate the whole thing. Inside the doors were stickers from some of his favourite bands. The whole thing was painted gray, it was a masterpiece.

By coincidence, T-Rev also owned a semi-rare copy of Robert Plant’s 1990 solo album, Manic Nirvana. Both of us liked to collect “rare” versions of albums. T-Rev had a red digipack copy, with symbols embossed on the cover. It’s pretty hard to find, although we did see a couple copies float by in the Record Store. There’s weren’t any bonus tracks, but the rare packaging made it something desirable.

So what’s the connection between the CD tower and Manic Nirvana?

T-Rev was checking out the Plant CD one day, and happened to take a look at it under his black light. Lo and behold, suddenly symbols appeared on the cover, previously hidden! The front cover showed what appeared to be a big “H”. The back and inside covers had their own symbols that showed under black light.

It was a mystery! The symbols didn’t seem to have any meaning that we could discern. Maybe they were intentional, maybe not? Maybe they were just a byproduct of the manufacturing process. Other similar digipacks did not show anything special under a black light.

My questions regarding this CD are as follows:
1) Have you ever owned the red digipack version of Manic Nirvana?*
2) Have you ever looked at it under a black light?
3) WHAT DOES IT MEAN?

*Aaron discovered via the Discogs listing that this seems to be a promo release.

 

Part 299: More Journals

RECORD STORE TALES Part 299: More Journals

A sequel to Part 244: Diary of a Mad Record Store Man.  I think the journal entries speak for themselves, so here they are.

Date: 2004/08/10
On this Marillion live disc, Fish just dedicated the entire Misplaced Childhood record to Phil Lynott…he must have just passed away when it was recorded.  That’s heavy, man.  My two lyrical heroes, Fish and Lynott…

Date: 2004/08/24
Crazy to think that I’ve been in this business for 10 years, and only now am I starting to listen to Buddy Holly. Sad to think what I’ve been missing all these years!  I can’t believe how great Buddy’s music was.  It’s really clicking with me, I just love Buddy Holly!

Date 2005/01/30
Some dude was just in here throwing a pencil at us because he didn’t have a receipt.  I AM TOO OLD FOR THIS SHIT.  I need to get THE FUCK out of here.

PENCIL THROW

 

 

 

Part 298: Why I Couldn’t Give You A Quote Over the Phone

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RECORD STORE TALES Part 298:
Why I Couldn’t Give You A Quote Over the Phone

 

We advertised that we paid cash or credit for used CDs.  A lot of customers used to call with the titles of their CDs, to get a quote over the phone for selling them.  “Hey, I have 30 CDs here to sell, if I read off the titles, can you tell me what you’ll pay me for them?”

The answer was no, for a number of good reasons.  For us, buying used CDs wasn’t a science.  We tried to create a system as best we could, but there were so many variables.  In addition, a lot of the process is subjective.  I’ll try to help you understand.

First and foremost – quality.  We were exceptionally picky about all discs that we bought.  If the disc was scuffed, we could buff certain scratches out.  (Not top scratches and pinholes though!  They are a whole other chapter to the story.)  A lot of customers would call and say, “My discs are all mint.”  Well, I found that for some, “mint” had a broad definition.  It could mean anything to brand-new to scratched like a hockey rink.  If a customer said “mint” you couldn’t go by that.  Likewise with “they all play fine.”  Until I look at it, I don’t know if it’s in a condition good enough to sell to my customers.  You probably have your own standards regarding CDs you want to keep in your collection.

But there’s more to quality than just the CD itself.  Is the front cover present?  How about the back?  A lot of customers discarded the back covers, in order to store their discs in those stupid travel wallets.  Bad idea, since those wallets scratch up CDs, sometimes beyond repair.  Not to mention, we wouldn’t take a CD missing its back cover.  Maybe the front cover is also water damaged – we couldn’t take a CD when the pages of the book were stuck together like a teenager’s Playboy mag.  That happened a lot more often then you might expect.

When it came down to the pricing of the CD, we had a lot of additional factors to consider.   How much do we sell it for?  How many copies do we have?  Do any of our other stores need a copy?  It is rare, or scarce to find used?  For example, Pink Floyd’s Dark Side of the Moon was not a rare CD, but it was hard to find copies used in good condition.  I’d be interested in paying more for Dark Side of the Moon than I would Van Halen’s Balance, even if we sold them both for the same price.

Let’s say you’re an annoying customer, and you called my store looking for a price quote.  Let’s say the person answering the phone forgot the rules, and gave you a quote over the phone.  Then when you actually come in to sell them, I’m working instead, not the person who gave you the price quote.  So imagine that scenario.

You come in and I start going through the discs.  Immediately, you’re pissed off that I’m passing on that scratched up Metallica CD that somebody quoted you $5 for.  The reason?  A hard-to-spot top scratch that cannot be fixed.  Or a missing back cover.  Or a deep scratch I can feel with my fingernail.  Or perhaps I could take it, but I need to have the scratches buffed out and I can only pay you $2-3.

Then next up, you have a Guess Who Greatest Hits.  When you called for your quote, I had none in stock.  Now I have two.  (It happens!)  So I can’t give you what the other person quoted, because now I have two copies and I don’t need it as badly.

Finally, let’s say you were quoted that you were going to get $3 for your Hanson CD.  The person you spoke to on the phone saw that we didn’t have any Hanson in stock.  However, I know that is an unusual happenstance and we always have tons of Hanson everywhere.  I might pay a buck where somebody else offered you $3, because I know better.  Them’s the breaks, right?

This doesn’t even account for other stupid things that can happen.  For example, a customer saying to you that he has Metallica Garage Days when he actually has Garage Inc.  Basically if you could think of a way information could be miscommunicated over the phone, it happened.

Customers seldom understood.  “I don’t want to come all the way down there unless I know I’m going to get good money for these discs.”  Unfortunately, coming down there was the only way.  No ifs, ands, buts, or exceptions.  People sucked sometimes.

Part 297: “The World Must Change”

EARTH

RECORD STORE TALES Part 297: “The World Must Change”

1997. A middle-aged mustached gentleman walked into my store with Eric Clapton’s latest single, “Change the World”.

“Hi,” he said. “I bought this at HMV, but it’s not what I wanted. I’m looking for a song, I think it’s called “The World Must Change”. Do you know it?

I searched my memory for a bit but drew a blank.

“I heard it on the radio. It’s a real hard-driving song,” he said, “and I could swear in the lyrics, he was singing ‘the world must change’. I told the girl at HMV and she said it was Eric Clapton. She sold me this, and it’s definitely not the right song.”

If he told the girl at HMV that it was a “hard-driving” song, I don’t know how she came up with “Change the World”, unless she’d never heard “Change the World” before. It is anything but hard-driving.

The fellow searched my rock section for pretty much any CD that look like it had songs about changing the world, and listened to a number of them, but came out blank.

A Google search today reveals little, aside from a George Benson song called “Everything Must Change”, but that is even further away from “hard-driving” than the Clapton track.

He ended up selling his Clapton single to me for $2, because HMV wouldn’t take it back once opened. It was a huge drop from the $9.99 sticker price, and he wasn’t happy, but $2 was pretty much top dollar for us to buy CD singles at the time (unless you had something rare, like an old Metallica single). I felt genuinely bad that I couldn’t find that song for him. I suggested he call the radio station on which he heard the track.

Now today, I appeal to the Internets at large:  Any ideas what song it could have been? Post a comment!