RSTs Mk II: Getting More Tale

#783: Take A Look at this Photograph

GETTING MORE TALE #783:  Take A Look at this Photograph

One day in mid ’95, Tom Morwood brought a camera to work at ye olde Record Store.  It was the earliest of days, and I was still working at the original mall store.  “What are you taking pictures in this place for?”  He snapped one of me flashing the devil horns behind the counter.  “Just for the memories man,” he answered.  I’m glad he did it.

He dug up that very same old photo recently, and a like a rush of blood, suddenly memories flooded my brain.  I barely recognised myself, but the store?   I’ll never forget it.  Let’s have a look at the anatomy of this picture and dissect it for details!

Detail #1: Handmade signage!

Before we went corporate, most of the signage was hand made.  Most was done by T-Rev, though “DJ Donny D” helped.  “NOW PLAYING”, “CD CASES”, “RAP/DANCE”.  It looks totally ghetto, like a real record store.  None of this professionally printed generic signage like today.  Now all the stores have to look exactly the same, like a chain.  Back then we could be artistic and do what we wanted.  The boss didn’t think I was very good at making signs so he let T-Rev do the majority.  He was probably right, though it wasn’t for lack of effort, just ability.  And it looks like an actual cool record store.  Not a video arcade or whatever they’re trying to be today.

There’s one sign that isn’t hand made, and that’s the “no smoking” sticker at the cash register!  Can you imagine needing that sticker in a store today?  Also:  cash register!  The first and last one I ever used.  Everything was done on computers after this store closed.

Detail #2:  The fuck is up with ma hair?

It looks black.  It was not black.  I dyed my hair dark once in 2000, but this picture is not from 2000 (as we’ll get to).  It must just be the lighting.  That’s definitely me though.  You can just make out my mullet.  I loved that Laurier sweatshirt!  I’m guessing it’s not summer; it must be a colder month or I wouldn’t be wearing a sweatshirt.  I’m assuming here, but I look really goofy and totally uncool.

Detail #3:  The front racks.

On the top left of the photo you can clearly make out CD and cassette copies of REM’s Monster.  That dates this photo to sometime in 1995.  The album came out in ’94 but Tom wasn’t hired until ’95.  There’s no way it was still front racked all the way into 1996, so it has to be ’95.  I can’t make out the other titles on the front rack.  You can see the plastic security cases that we kept the CDs and tapes in.  Anti-theft devices were not cheap, by the way, but a future chapter called “A Case For Security” will get into this in more detail.

Detail #4:  The magazines.

We used to sell Rolling Stone and Spin.  Funny enough, here we have them displayed in a rack for Vibe magazine!  We stopped carrying Vibe in 1994 but kept using the rack.

Detail #5:  The mirror.

If you glance over to the far right, you can see a vertical line in the wall slats.  That’s actually a corner; the back wall was a mirror.  As told in Getting More Tale #409, it fooled some people.  One day an elderly gentleman asked me if “that section back there is closed to cripples and old men?”  Nope, it’s just a mirror, not a secret room!  We must have kept it pretty clean if we fooled him!

Detail #6:  The CD cases.

Notice there are no clear CD cases there?  Just the ones with the black spines?  We didn’t carry clear cases.  If memory serves, our supplier didn’t carry them until a year or two later.  That meant clear cases were a rare treasured commodity to us.  I have a few memories of needing clear trays to replace broken ones, but not having any lying around.  We had to conserve them.

Detail #7:  Overstock.

See all those CDs behind me?  Those are overstock – additional copies of stuff that was already on display on the racks.  Generally these were titles that were not moving, and I can absolutely guarantee that there are multiple copies Motley Crue ’94 and David Lee Roth’s Your Filthy Little Mouth in this picture.

Detail #8:  Happiness.

Don’t let the metal faced scowl fool you.  This was my happy place.  I don’t care what ex-bosses and regional managers thought.  That store was special.  One of the bosses used to tell me that my nostalgia for the old store was warped by rose-coloured glasses.  I disagree.  Look at this picture.  It’s one guy working in a cramped little music store.  There is nobody looking over my shoulder, no “suits” wheeling and dealing.  We were free to make that store as cool as possible.  We could listen to music of our choosing with few but sensible limits.  Nothing like the spiteful “No Kiss” rule of later years.  (Although you can see here I didn’t display anything under the “Now Playing” sign.  I didn’t like the way the alligator clip could scuff up a case.)  We were responsible for cashing out, doing the bank deposit, and closing up.

Sure, it was a little like working in caveman times to a certain degree.  We had no computer, just a gnarly old cash register.  If you look behind me, under the overstock shelves you can see boxes full of clear plastic baggies.  Each one had a CD inside.  If somebody wanted to know if we had a used CD in stock, we’d flip through the baggies which were in alphabetical order.  Not an exact science but we got the job done.

As the store got bigger, we became more sophisticated, had more buying power, and better stock as a result.  Yet it’s the original store that I’m nostalgic for, not the second or third one with the larger floor space and computerized inventory.  Those stores had their own perks and problems, but they didn’t have as much personality.  Some may disagree.  This isn’t a critique on the owner, either.  He had to do what he had to do in order to grow, put bread on his table, and follow his own dreams.  We understand.  He had a vision and it led him to success.  Together as a tight team, we ran a pretty cool music store.  We all contributed ideas and our talents, and did the best with what we had.  The fact that so many people tell me they have fond memories of that store means it couldn’t have been all that bad.

When I look at this photograph all I see are good memories.  Thanks for the foresight, Tom.

 

 

 

 

 

 

#782: Eliminated Headlight Restored

A sequel to #760: Eliminated Headlight

I saw Eliminator was now a one-eyed cyclops car. A headlight came off and was nowhere in sight. It’s gone. If it had simply fallen off, it would be on the shelf, next to the car. I only had two suspects. One of the two was more credible, while the other claims to know nothing. I know it was my dad!

 

 

GETTING MORE TALE #782:  Eliminated Headlight Restored

The old cottage bedroom isn’t the safe storage space it used to be!

For over 30 years, my old Monogram model kit of ZZ Top’s “Eliminator” car sat undisturbed.  The shelf it occupied was shared by a stunningly beautiful red Ferrari Testarossa, some old books, and several Lego battle droids.  Eliminator’s structure held sound, with only minor repairs needed over the years to keep it intact.

Then one day in 2019 a headlight went missing.  We didn’t need a confession to know that my dad did it while puttering around!

I thought the story was over, but a few weeks ago my dad said to me “I found your headlight”.

What?  Did it just fall behind the bed?

“No, I got you a new one!”

Right on, thanks dad!  Did you find an old model kit on Ebay?

“No, I saw a brand new one at the hobby store and picked it up for you!”

I couldn’t believe my luck!  But what are the chances the kits are the exact same?  Could I simply swap out an old headlight for a brand new one?

Turns out, I can.  Both kits are 1/72 scale, and though the new one is made by Revell instead of Monogram, they are identical.  Revell actually bought out Monogram in 2007, so they must have acquired these old molds and reissued the exact same kit.

Opening the kit and seeing the exact parts, I found myself at a crossroads.  I did a good job back in 1987-88 when I built my original Eliminator.  There are some things I would change; I would have painted the red engine block to be more accurate if I had another crack at it.  And now I do.  Or, I could just glue the new headlight onto the old car and leave it be.

Pros to building a new car:

  • Fixing mistakes I made as a kid, like the engine colour.
  • A higher budget, better tools, access to more paints.

Cons:

  • Possibly screwing up and wrecking a new model kit.
  • I hate, hate, hate water decals.
  • Realising I’m not as good at this as I used to be.

“You know my hands aren’t as steady as they used to be,” I told my dad.

“Fuck your hands!” he responded.

I turned to my mom and asked if she just heard what he told me to do.  She did and said I should write about it.

Betcha didn’t expect that’s where this story would go at the start!  I neglected to take my father’s advice, but vowed to tell the tale in my own way.

The end.

 

 

The ZZ Top Eliminator Project will continue in Summer 2020.  What would you do with the model kit?  Let us know in the comments below.

 

#781: What Happened to C-3PO’s Hand? (Video story)

GETTING MORE TALE #781: What Happened to C-3PO’s Hand? The Story

Pardon the volume on this video, I really struggled with it and then said “fuck it”.

#780: Radio Friends & Exes

GETTING MORE TALE #780: Radio Friends & Exes

I’ll always be grateful to radio for giving me a start.  I won’t rehash the whole story but I used to be a call-in contest winner and then became a semi-regular guest.  Radio is a lot of fun, though I don’t really listen to commercial stations anymore like the one that got my name out there originally.  (I still appear on Rob Daniels’ Visions in Sound, and I’ll be back there in December at the latest to talk about new Star Wars music.)   One thing that hasn’t changed is that I have met so many solid people through radio.

There’s Jolene the Jays fan, always raising money for good causes.  Or Greg, the contest winner who seems to have free tickets to offer to me all the time.  I met one of my best friends, Jay, through the radio.  He noticed I was talking about Transformers one day and next thing you knew, we were buddies.  And let’s not forget about Jamie, an old-school rocker who was writing articles for Access magazine under the tutelage of Keith Sharp back when I used to read it!  It used to be that we listened to the same radio station, but in 2019 I was honoured to be a guest at Jamie’s wedding.

I’m very happy and proud to have met such good people thanks to radio.  I think a lot of it has to do with the fact that radio stations and their personalities are often very active in the community.  They bring people with similar interests together, while making the city a better place.

Of course, like any platform, it’s not exclusively good people.  There have been some seriously weird fucks that I’ve come into contact with thanks to the airwaves.  Like Dean, the conspiracy theorizing anti-vax, bike-riding vegan.  Or amateur wrestler turned far-right radio mogul Raymond.  A few Proud Boys.  The usual assholes.

I have fresh wounds from another radio listener.  I never met him.  Mike Lorbetski.  He moved out to Alberta for work.  He was one of those guys who would periodically have serious life problems and post them all over social media.  Then he’d disappear a while and come back a few months later.  His latest problems involved a workplace injury.  He needed antibiotics and was short $28.  He sent me a private message.

I thought about what my old man has said in the past.  “If you loan somebody money, consider it a gift because you’ll never get it back.”  And my dad is right; I’ve helped people out in the past and don’t usually get repaid.  Sometimes it’s because I said “Don’t worry about it, you need this more than I do.”  But usually it was just people stiffing me.

For whatever sympathetic reason, I sent the guy $30.  He even sent me a picture back of the medication to prove that’s what he spent it on.  I have no reason to disbelieve any of his story.  He asked me for money again a few weeks later, promising to pay back the original $30.  I said no that time.  Then he asked for $20 for bus tickets.  He caught me on a good day that time.  A few days later he needed $25; I sent him a final $30 and said this would be the last time I could help him out.  I left it unambiguous:  this is the last time I can help you out.  “Man I love you!” he responded.

One weekend in late September I heard frantic messages on my phone.  I checked and it was him, needing $44 urgently.  He was being evicted and was short $44 to rent a U-Haul van to move his stuff.  He sent screenshots of landlords that owed him money.  He sent screenshots of his bank balance in single digits.  He showed an angry message from a landlord explaining that he already had three days’ court-ordered notice to pick up his stuff, and it would all be taken to the dump on the weekend.  I was getting all these messages while my wife was recovering from a humiliating public epileptic seizure.  I told him that I was very sorry, but I could not help him.  The messages continued through the night as I was dealing with my own shit.  He was promising me $88 in return for $44, within 24 hours.

I sat there, thinking to myself.  On one side, I felt for the guy.  Assuming he was being honest with me, he had only a few hours to raise $44 and move his stuff in a U-Haul.  He was going to lose all his possessions that day.  I felt terrible for him.  I was already down $80 so what’s another $44?  On the other hand…is there nobody else he can ask for help?  Somebody who lives in the same province as him?  Somebody who’s actually met him in person?  Friends?  Family?  Not a stranger that he used to listen to on the radio?

Sunday afternoon my wife had another seizure.  I heard my phone dinging but I didn’t answer it.  I had bigger things on my mind.  Later that evening, I checked my messages.  His belongings had been taken to the dump.

“This is the point I’m done with social media,” the message began.  From that I gather he’d been asking other Facebook “friends” for money.  “Needed $44 to save thousands, got zero. Will be lucky to maintain an empty apartment on my wife’s money, my tools are gone so I can’t contribute.”  Guilt trip time?  I couldn’t believe this guy.  Why should Facebook, or me for that matter, be responsible for you?

“Likely never hear from me again. I’m out.”

This one I responded to.

“Likely never hear from you again…even though you owe me money?”

I felt terrible the whole time I wrote this, but it had to be said.

“I told you last time, I would not be able to help you again. I don’t even know you. We have never met face to face. And now you are guilting me and threatening to rip me off?

“I am sorry but at this point I have no choice but to block you. I will never see my money again, I know that, but I refuse to be guilted when I have already been so generous.

“I hope whatever your problems are, you sort them out, but I cannot have this in my life.”

Alternating between feeling the guilt that I said I wasn’t going to let myself feel, and wondering what the fuck this guy expected of a total stranger, I went on with my night and worrying about my own wife. But what did he expect? I gave him money three times before. Small amounts, but I knew I wasn’t going to be paid back, and I told him on the third time that was it. Did he think we were…actual friends? Because he knew my voice on the radio, and because I write about my life in public, did he think we were…friends? He also wrote things about his life, but I tried to stay out of that. He seemed to be having problems with his job, his wife, and his sexual identity and I wanted nothing to do with a stranger’s problems. I have plenty of my own, believe me.

I tried to be a good person. I feel like I was a good person three times, but had to draw a line somewhere. The day that my wife was in the hospital having a seizure seemed like the right time to draw that line.

As for lines? The bottom line is that I have made some amazing friends through the radio, and I wouldn’t change that, ever. But you always have to have your guard up for the problems that come with it.

#779: Loch Ness

GETTING MORE TALE #779: “Loch Ness” – A Lyrical Analysis

Judas Priest are known not just for their incendiary riffing, but also vivid lyricism.  It’s often a winning combination.  Witness such metal concoctions as “Blood Red Skies” or “Metal Gods”.  When it works, it works.  When it fails, it fails gloriously.  Let’s have a look at Judas Priest’s most epic failure.  That would be the 13:28 long “Loch Ness”, from 2005’s reunion album Angel of Retribution.

Musically, “Loch Ness” is utter garbage; lethargic rock for the sleepy.  The lyrics are a little better, though not enough to save the song.

Judas Priest usually create their own mythology.  Characters such as the Painkiller, the Sentinel and the Jugulator are three such examples.  This time, Priest dipped into cryptozoology and Scottish legends for their subject matter.  Today, the general consensus is that there is no monster in the depths of Loch Ness.  It’s still fun to speculate and imagine what might have been.

The first verse of “Loch Ness” sets the scene.  The loch is the largest (by volume) in the UK, with an incredible depth of 755 feet.  Because of the loch’s depth and murkiness, long has there been uncertainty about what may be down below.  Using sonar and other modern technologies, nothing of any great size has ever been found.  Though legends remain strong today, it is highly unlikely that a large monster lives in Loch Ness.  What say Judas Priest?

Grey mist drifts upon the water,
The mirrored surface moves,
Awakened of this presence,
Dispelling legends proof.

Stories of a beast in the loch date back almost 1500 years.  A definitive modern day sighting would indeed be the proof needed to move the monster from legend to reality.  Rob Halford references the grey mists, and how the movements of the “mirrored surface” can look like a creature is swimming beneath.  This is how most sightings begin.  Then “Nessie” rises from the water:

A beastly head of onyx,
With eyes set coals of fire,
It’s leathered hide glides glistening,
Ascends the heathered briar.

Physical descriptions of “Nessie” the monster vary wildly.  A head attached to a long neck is a defining characteristic.  It is usually described as dark, which Halford here exaggerates as “onyx” (black) in colour.  It’s eyes being “coals of fire” seems to be a Halford invention.  Likewise the hide, which is usually not described in much detail.  Out of necessity, Rob had to elaborate on the myth in order to describe the beast.  An interesting line is “ascends the heathered briar”.  Indeed, in some of the older sightings, the beast is seen climbing onto land – once even crossing a road.  When seen in full, the creature is often described as similar to a plesiosaur.

This legend lives through centuries,
Evoking history’s memories,
Prevailing in eternities,
On and on and on.

More interesting than the physical descriptions of the beast are the old legends. Water beast legends were not uncommon.  Why was Loch Ness always such a hotspot for such tales?  There is no simple answer.  Recently, large eels were filmed in the loch.  A mistaken sighting of an eel could account for many of the stories.  With the advent of modern media in the 1900s, tales of the monster spread worldwide and stories were reported with more frequency.  Proponents of the monster theory point to the oldest legends as proof that there was always something mysterious about the loch, though there is no proof that there is any connection to the “Nessie” of today.

Loch Ness confess,
Your terror of the deep,
Loch Ness distress,
Malingers what you keep,
Loch Ness protects monstrosity,
Loch Ness confess to me.

This chorus is a contender for the worst on any Judas Priest album.  There is nothing here to sing along to.  The words are awkward and juvenile with overly simple rhymes.

The speaker is addressing the loch itself; asking the loch to give up its secrets.  But “Terror of the deep”?  Few today find the idea of the Loch Ness monster to be terrifying .  True, early sightings would have been quite scary. Even if the creature spotted was only an otter or an eel, in the dusk or fog it could have been startling.  As you’ll see, however, it is implied this song takes place in the modern age.

The most interesting word choice here is “malingers”, meaning to pretend to be sick in order to avoid something.  It’s possible the word is being intentionally misused because it simply sounded good.  Insofar as meaning goes, “distress”, “malinger” and “protect” all imply the creature isn’t actually threatening.  Perhaps it or its young need protection.  Halford begs the beast for the truth, but the truth is not to be found.

Somehow it heeds the piper,
From battlements that call,
From side to side it ponders,
In passion in the skirl.

Scottish imagery here, implying that the monster will appear if a piper plays its song.  “Skirl” refers to the shrill sound of bagpipes.  “From side to side it ponders, in passion in the skirl” is a variation of the old saying that music soothes the savage beast.  Otherwise, the connection between the pipes and the monster seem to be a Halford construction.  There is also an old joke:  “Bagpipes and the Loch Ness Monster have two things in common – they both attract tourists and terrify little children.”

This highland lair of mystery,
Retains a lost world empathy,
Resilient to discovery,
On and on and on.

“Resilient to discovery” isn’t the most accurate phrasing.  “Resilient” means to recover quickly.  The Loch Ness monster is more “resistant” to discovery than “resilient”, though the legend certainly is resilient.  It goes on and on regardless of a narrowing scope of possibilities.  “Retains a lost world empathy” probably refers to the age of the beast.  It is so old that it comes from a simple time when people had more empathy than today.

This legend lives through centuries,
Evoking history’s memories,
Prevailing in eternity,
Your secret lies safe with me.

These lines simply refer to the age of the old legends, which will live forever.  Rob assures the beast that if it reveals its secrets, he will not tell.

This creature’s peril from decease,
Implores to mankind for release,
A legacy to rest in peace,
On and on and on.

Finally the last verse goes back to the idea that the creature is in some sort of distress.  It’s unclear what the peril is, but mankind is a part of it.  Is it the call of the pipers?  The monster simply wants to be at peace. Perhaps this is a hint of an environmental message, for conservation.

The lyrics to “Loch Ness” are not overly complex. Their simplicity, combined with slow monotonous music, make the 13 minute song seriously drag.  A few unusual word choices tend to obscure meaning, but “Loch Ness” is otherwise a fairly straightforward Judas Priest lyric.  When sung aloud, it begins to sound a little foolish.  “Loch Ness, confess, your terror of the deep” is not poetry.  It’s something you would have written in highschool English class.  While the words mostly stand up to analysis, they are not resilient to singing aloud.  In this manner (perhaps the only manner in which rock lyrics really matter), “Loch Ness” flounders.

“Loch Ness” has never and will never be played live.  It’s a shame that one of the greatest cryptids in all of legend has been given such a weak heavy metal song!

 

#778: Bi-curious

GETTING MORE TALE #778:  Bi-curious

You could tell Mrs. Powers didn’t like Elton John, and why.

I was just beginning my exploration of rock and roll, at a very young age.  I knew who Elton John was.  He had at least two songs that I knew and liked: “Sad Songs Say So Much” and “I’m Still Standing”.  Although in the 80s he had toned down his image, my mom explained that he used to be known for his crazy hats and glasses.

I don’t know how Elton John came up, that day in Catholic school.  It was grade 7 or 8, so 1985 or 1986.  Powers was strict and believed in public shaming.  Like the time she said “Shame on you!” to me for choosing a non-Catholic highschool, in front of everyone.  My sister had Powers a few years later, and got in shit in front of the class because she wasn’t as good at math as (presumably) her dad, who was a bank manager.  She was just a nasty teacher.

However Elton’s name came up that day, it doesn’t particularly matter.  What I remember was what Mrs. Powers said about him:  “And I don’t care that he’s BI-SEXUAL.”  Emphasis on that “BI-SEXUAL” part.  The immediate undertone was that she did care, very much, or she wouldn’t have brought it up.  And her feelings on the matter were in the negative.

Questions swirled in my head.  Elton John, the guy with the glasses and hats — was bisexual?  Most importantly, what the fuck did that even mean?

If you think Catholic school sex-ed curriculum covered things such as bisexuality, or even homosexuality, you’d be sorely mistaken.  She dropped that word, “bisexual” in a sentence and didn’t elaborate.  My immediate assumption (and you can see how I got there in my thinking) was that Elton John probably had both genitalia.  It’s not like I was going to raise my hand and ask.

I don’t know how many years I went about my life, thinking that Elton John had both a wiener and a vagina.  But I did, and it was because of a Catholic school teacher.  Nice, eh?  In many regards, although I went to class every day like anyone else, I think I was largely homeschooled until I got to highschool.  I learned more about history, science, and the arts at home thanks to my mom and dad.  At a young age, I was watching Carl Sagan’s Cosmos with my dad, and listening to early Canadian rock and folk music with my mom.

The second takeaway from this story is the negative tone when Mrs. Powers said “BI-SEXUAL” like that.  I don’t need to explain how that just reinforces negative stereotypes.

The irony of course is that, bisexual or not, Elton John has been with his husband David Furnish for over 25 years, and they have proven to be model parents to their two kids.  I wonder if Mrs. Powers has since changed her tune on Elton John.

#777: Road Rage

GETTING MORE TALE #777: Road Rage

On 19 September 2010, a Wikipedia user posted the following on the talk page for the rock band Quiet Riot’s entry on the site.

Hello,
This is the official Quiet Riot band and management. We are slowly and steadily attempting to clean up the vast array of inaccuracies on this page and post a historically correct bio. Please be patent [sic] and please do not come behind us and vandalize or attempt to “correct” this page. Thank you.

This note and a number of edits were allegedly made by Regina Russell, now the wife of current Quiet Riot drummer Frankie Banali.  This raised a number of red flags, notably conflict of interest.  Nobody may edit their own Wikipedia article, or one they have a vested interest in.*  The edits were made using an account called Pinkmermaid.  Going down the rabbit hole, you could see Pinkmermaid also made a number of contested edits to the Regina Russell Wikipedia article.  But the Quiet Riot wiki became a constant battleground.  For example Pinkmermaid objected to people like Tracii Guns being listed as members, even though he was confirmed as one by Frankie Banali (for a single rehearsal) in an interview with the late C.C. Banana.

There are a few people listed as members that were not. As for me or the band editing the page or “allowing” this person or that person to be listed. That is a joke. Anything that the band camp has edited just gets deleted. I barely began deleting lies and false members (it would be a big job) when the trolls took over so this page is now abandoned by anyone who could verify actual facts. This page is largely inaccurate. Siting [sic] “references” that are nothing more than blogs or interviews that are not truthful. If anyone is coming to this page for info about this band they are just getting a mish mosh of myths & rumors anyway.

The Quiet Riot camp and the Wikipedia community went back and forth over the edits.  At that time, I was writing reviews, and editing Wikipedia articles on the side for fun.  I’m personally responsible for all the Helix articles created on Wikipedia from 2009-2010, and I’m very proud of doing so with proper references.  Obviously, this Quiet Riot drama was as fascinating as a car crash.  I couldn’t look away.  I followed the digital breadcrumbs left by the Pinkmermaid account and attempted to make some fixes, all over Wikipedia.

Things came to a head over the Metal Health article.  Pinkmermaid made an edit to the article claiming that Metal Health was Quiet Riot’s debut.  I changed it back, as it is actually their third LP after two that were released in Japan only.  This sparked an “edit war” between the two of us.  On 7 October, I posted the below on the Metal Health talk page in order to settle the matter once and for all.

This section is to resolve a dispute between Quiet Riot’s manager and the article as it stands, whether Metal Health is the first, or the third, Quiet Riot album.

My feeling is that management is trying to re-write history to make it look like the current Quiet Riot, which contains no members from the album Quiet Riot I, does in fact have original members. I have never in 27 years of being a collector, nor 12 years of running my record store, have ever heard of Metal Health being referred to as Quiet Riot’s debut album. North American debut, yes. But I strongly resist the band’s manager making this change as I believe it is self serving to their agenda, which is legitimizing the current lineup which in actuality has no original members.

The band has posted an interview with DuBrow where he refers to it as their first, however I think this is questionable as many bands like to rewrite their own history. Helix for example are going around saying they are touring with the “original lineup”. When in reality their only original member is the singer. Just because a band says something doesn’t make it so. There are also intefviews [sic] with DuBrow where he refers to QRI as the first album, such as Guitar For the Practicing Musician.

Management are arguing that the original Quiet Riot broke up, and then they started a new band (with two members from the first QR, DuBrow and Sarzo) also called Quiet Riot, and Metal Health is their debut album. I cannot see a single example on Wikipedia of any band whose discography is split between two phases of the band and considered separate entities. Deep Purple, for example.

Please discuss. I think is where a serious conflict of interest comes into play.

Things got nasty.  From Pinkmermaid:  “That IS a DEBUT. I know you are some fan and you have feelings about the subject. You don’t really know much about it though.”  When I asked her if we could agree to disagree and let Wikipedia decide, she answered “I don’t agree with you in any way. I’m just busier than you doing other things. Stalking wiki pages can’t be a full time obsession for me.”

Ouch!  She said “stalking” because I made the mistake of going down the rabbit hole and fixing more of her conflict-of-interest edits.  Big mistake.  Should not have poked the bear.  She did get the “obsession” word right, at least.  My OCD is a stickler for details.   I advised her to review the Wikipedia code of conduct.  She accused me of “stalking” more than once, I guess not realizing that Wikipedia has thousands of people constantly editing articles, including hers.  One day she even turned up on my Amazon reviews.  She didn’t like the part of my Quiet Riot Rehab review where I complained about the reunited Quiet Riot having no original members.  Apparently writing that review was “stalking”.  I hope she never sees my Quiet Riot 10 review….

Ultimately Wikipedia agreed that Metal Health is the third Quiet Riot album, and Pinkmermaid left it alone.

In January 2017, Wikipedia investigated her edit activity and blocked her indefinitely, for “advertising or self-promotion”.  This was in regards to the movie she directed, Quiet Riot’s critically acclaimed Well Now You’re Here, There’s No Way Back.

I wasn’t planning on telling this story.  In 2012, I said all I had to say with “Cum On Feel the Disgrace – A Quiet Riot Rant”.  But a strange thing happened in 2017.  Quiet Riot acquired James Durbin on vocals and made a really, really good album.  I reviewed it, rated it 3.75/5 stars, calling it “Easily their best album since 1993’s Terrified or even before”.  I gave Live in Milan 4/5 stars.  Any beefs I had with Quiet Riot’s trajectory were assuaged.   Until now.  James Durbin is out, and Jizzy Pearl is back in as lead singer.  And strangely enough, I seem to be blocked on Facebook by Frankie Banali.  I’ve never interacted with Banali.  I smell a Pinkmermaid.

That’s why I’ve decided to finally talk about what happened between Quiet Riot and myself.  The backups are all on Wikipedia, can’t be erased, and are available for you to read.  Just browse the talk pages and edit histories and see for yourselves.  As usual, I will continue to judge Quiet Riot by the merits of their music.  If their next album, Hollywood Cowboys is good, you can count on an honest review.  Same if it sucks.  For now, I’m going back to the beginning and playing Quiet Riot I.

“It’s not so funny,
Just a kid, nobody listens to me,
Ain’t got no money to do what I want,
Somethin’s got to set me free.”

* In the interests of full disclosure, I’m no saint and I have broken the Wikipedia rules on Conflict of Interest.  Though I have not touched it since 2010, I did make a small number of edits to the Kathryn Ladano Wikipedia.  

#776: (Wag)yu Shook Me All Night Long

GETTING MORE TALE #776: (Wag)yu Shook Me All Night Long

For highway driving, nothing quite hits the spot like AC/DC.  It feels right.  Who Made Who works as a quickie “greatest hits” selection for a quick spin down Highway 401.  Mrs. LeBrain and I were heading to the GTA to celebrate 11 years as a married couple.  We rocked to “You Shook Me All Night Long” on the dance floor that night, and we were returning to the very same location once more.

Highway 401 is in a perpetual state of construction, but good music helps take the edge off.  This was my first drive that way in the new vehicle, and also the first with my latest gadget, a nifty dash cam that is sure to provide lots of content for my YouTube channel in the coming months.

Sorry, quick tangent:  Phil Rudd is the “man”, but Simon Wright doesn’t get enough credit for his time on the AC/DC drum stool.  AC/DC isn’t an easy beat to get the feel for, and every AC/DC drummer has their own approach.  The 1980s were a period of hard-hitters and Simon Wright was the perfect drummer for that era.  His precision is absolute on “Who Made Who” and it just sounds right.  Compare the original to Chris Slade’s interpretation on AC/DC Live.  That’s all I have to say about that.

We arrived at the hotel mid-afternoon and I settled into the jacuzzi pretty quickly.  I wanted to do a funny gangsta style photo in the hot tub with me holding a couple of American dollar bills.  I was thinking about when Floyd Mayweather threw the $1s at Conor McGregor.  And holy shit did Facebook react.

“Dude you look like if Kuato from Total Recall was successfully removed from his twin, grew up, lived a long and depressing life and got really excited when someone gave him 2 bucks to sh!t in the local YMCA jacuzzi.”

Two things:  Yes, I had pants on.  And yes, that “gang sign” is the Vulcan salute.  Relax.  Let a man enjoy his jacuzzi, publicly on social media like damn 20 year old.  Are you not entertained?!

We did some shopping.  Because, like an idiot, I forgot to bring a nice pair of shoes for dinner, I had to get a new pair just for this one night.  Then we met up with Jen’s best friend Lara for lunch.  Did some more shopping.  I wanted to go to stores that we don’t have at home.  There isn’t much of that, just the same old chains.  We did hit one up cool store, where I bought something called “Jean Guy”, but we couldn’t find any cool music or toy stores.  At least I got my shoes!

So where were we headed?  In ’08 when we got married it was the Pavilion Royale, but now it is a high end restaurant called 17 Steakhouse & Bar.  It’s very different on the inside, but recognizable.  There was the dance floor, where I once spun to “You Shook Me All Night Long”.  But we chose 17 for more than sentimental reasons.  The main draw was the real Japanese A5 wagyu.  And that’s what this chapter is really about.

I’ve never had real wagyu in my life and American wagyu was not going to do it.  You only live once.  Carpe diem.  Go big or go home.  It’s only money.  All that bullshit.  I’d done my research, I knew what I was getting my wallet into.  I’d been planning it over a year.

We started with a simple but delicious field green salad, with incredible goat cheese.  The smoothest goat cheese I’ve ever tasted.  Only when we finished the salads did they began firing our steaks.  None of that “here comes your main dish before you’ve finished your starter” nonsense.  Jennifer chose the US prime T-bone, medium rare, and let me tell you, that alone could have been the best steak I’ve ever tasted.  It was 25 oz, so more than enough to share.  So tender!  With cripsy, tasty fat.

Jen’s steak could easily have been the most tender I’ve ever tried, if not for my Japanese A5 wagyu.  Market price was $30 per oz.  I chose an 8 oz striploin, medium rare.  You should always get a wagyu steak cooked to medium rare.  I was electric with tense anticipation.  The steaks arrived, cooked precisely to order.

I gently cut a thin slice, which came off like butter.  There was a lovely char on the outside, a crisp splash of flat, and then the most tender meat you can imagine.  It was seasoned simply and perfectly, the saltiness enhancing that beefy umami.  On the tongue, it was like butter with only the slightest sensation of a meaty texture.  I probably didn’t even have to chew.

It’s a very rich piece of meat, far more than I anticipated.  I’d estimate that I finished about 3/4 of my meal, leaving a $60 chunk of wagyu in my takeout bag.  And that chunk of leftover wagyu was the best lunch I ever had the following day.

For sides, we ordered the fingerling potatoes roasted in duck fat and thyme, the asparagus with hollandaise, and the scalloped potatoes au gratin.  Of those three, the asparagus was the clear winner, with the potatoes au gratin in second place.  Only I liked the fingerling potatoes; Jen didn’t care for them, leaving her batting average with any form of duck to be zero.

We had an incredible dessert of cheesecake, Crème brûlée and whipped cream which was supernaturally good. Everything was.

Having had probably the most expensive steak I’ll ever buy, was it worth it? If you are a steak lover, then yes, it is worth it.  And I love steaks.  A little goes a long way, but every steak lover should try real Japanese wagyu once.  It’s unlike anything I’ve had before and it is easily categorised as a true delicacy.  Having said that, should we return to 17 Steakhouse in a year, I don’t know that I would order it again, and that is only because there are other interesting features on their menu that I would like to try.  The 36 oz tomahawk would be a sight to behold, though I couldn’t eat it all myself.  I would also like to try the Porterhouse, the lobster bisque, and beef tartare.

Yes, the wagyu was worth it, and I can still taste and feel its texture on my palette.  It won’t be for everyone except in small doses.  They have a 4 oz minimum order, and I suggest that may the perfect size to experiment with.

17 Steakhouse & Bar gets 5/5, and so does the wagyu. 

We started with AC/DC so we’ll finish with AC/DC.  Who made wagyu?  17 Steakhouse did, and it was hell’s bells!  I couldn’t wait to sink the pink steak in my mouth.  It’ll shake your foundations just like it shook mine.  It’s a little bit of a ride on, down the 401, but worth the drive.  Hell ain’t a bad place to be(ef)!*  For those about to rock, I wagyu.

* Courtesy 1537

#775: Eleven

GETTING MORE TALE #775: Eleven

It was eleven years ago this weekend that life changed forever.

On August 31 2008, I dressed up in a tux, gathered a hundred of our closest family and friends, and got married.  It was the best decision I’ve ever made.

We didn’t get to celebrate ten years.  At this time last year, Jen’s mom was terminally ill.  We were at her bedside.  I know what she would have said to us if she knew what day it was.  “You guys go out, have a nice dinner, on me.  Enjoy yourselves.”  That’s just who she was.  But we didn’t feel much like eating or celebrating.

I think “mum” would appreciate that this year, we are going to celebrate #11.  We’re going to remember her, and we’re going to be thankful that we have each other.  Making #11 our year to celebrate seems appropriate for us; we’re the couple that is 1) always late, and 2) rarely doing anything the “normal” way.

In order to do things right, I’ll be taking a break from mikeladano.com but we will all re-convene back here after Labour Day.

It’s a well deserved break!  We have some general ideas but the plan is just to take it easy and go with the flow.  I just bought a 2 terabyte external hard drive, so I’ll actually be able to take all my music with me, in the car and on the laptop.  I couldn’t do that eleven years ago!

Here are some songs that mean the most to Jen and I.  Turn ’em up and we’ll catch up again next week.

Stompin’ Tom Connors – “Sudbury Saturday Night”

As told in Record Store Tale Part 20: I Believe in a Thing Called Love:

It started with Stompin’ Tom. I think I had told her that I had a stack of new movies, a huge bag of chips & a case of Red Bull, and was ready for the weekend or something. She responded, “Sounds like you’re ready for a Sudbury Saturday Night.” So right then and there, boom! She was speaking my language.

The Darkness – “I Believe in a Thing Called Love”

I was into The Darkness in a big way.  As told in Record Store Tales Part 80, these guys were absolutely one of my favourites when we met.  “I Believe In A Thing Called Love” was a major feature at the wedding reception.

Guns N’ Roses – “Patience”

This was one of Jen’s favourites from the reception. When it played, all the couples slow-danced together. She thought it was a really sweet moment, and a lot of those couples are still couples today!

The Beatles – “Revolution”

When I asked Jen to pick a song she liked, this was the first one she named.

Van Halen – “Why Can’t This Be Love”

Before we met, Jen actively disliked Van Halen (classic rock in general). Today this is one of her favourite songs. Rock radio had a lot to do with that.

Neil Peart – “The Hockey Theme”

Before I met Jen, I’d never heard this theme in my life.  Today, I can name pretty much every Maple Leaf and dozens of other players too.  I can’t believe she’s done this to me!  But don’t you dare call me a “hockey fan”.

The Traveling Wilburys – “Handle With Care”

No story, we just love this song.

Johnny Cash – “In My Life”

I’m sure everybody plays this at their weddings, don’t they? We knew that, so we chose Johnny Cash’s version. Let me tell you, that was a really cool moment, in the church signing the registry to this song. I hope my buddy Tom appreciated that, being such a huge Cash fan. I was psyched for him to hear it at a wedding instead of the usual.

I hope you enjoy some of our songs too.

 

#774.5: Seasons End

Like an old termite-ridden stump, summer 2019 is burned up.

We planned to spend as much of the summer outdoors as possible.  We did that.   I didn’t want to use the precious summer months pounding out words about music.  So I wrote as much as I felt like.  I didn’t get to comment as much.  I had to sacrifice something to make the most of my favourite season.  Music was there with us every day.  I just wanted to enjoy the moments instead of figuring out how to write them down.

Hard to believe another summer has burned away.

There was no single artist who dominated this summer (like Blotto did in 2018).  We enjoyed a variety of Van Halen, Judas Priest, Stompin’ Tom, Whitesnake, Deep Purple, Rainbow, and Helix without rhyme or reason.

It’s already getting colder.  The nights are starting sooner.  I can feel the end of the season creeping, and our summer at the lake is over.

At least we made the most of it.

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