At the conclusion of Record Store Tales (Part 320) I remember thinking “That was fun but I could have written another 320 chapters about the shit that went down there.”
As the sequel series Getting More Tale evolved, I expanded and incorporated a lot of Record Store stories into it. This allowed me to explore some backstory elements that I really should have included in the original Record Store Tales. As time went on and I found my groove, Getting More Tale became a little bit less about music and retail, and a little bit more about me. Thankfully you have hung on for the ride despite my indulgences.
Here we are at #640, the point at which Getting More Tale and Record Store Tales are of equal size.
It’s a potential crossroads. Should I shut down Getting More Tale and that numbering system? Music will remain the primary focus, but could the chapter numbers be a turn off to new readers? Or do they entice people to go back? Should I come up with a new name for this? Getting More Tale became a catch-all for virtually anything I wrote that wasn’t a review.
I put it to you. If you’ve been reading along, you know what I write.
Leave your comment below.
1. Should I shut down Getting More Tale & the numbering system and re-launch as something new?
If you have been keeping up with Cancer Chronicles, then you know that after surgery, passing gas can be a challenge. Even tougher: pooping!
Mrs. LeBrain’s successful surgery resulted in some unpleasant side effects, such as constipation. But don’t worry. She kept me posted every step of the way.
It was a joy when she sent me the text message below:
Thank you Burger King for you assistance in this matter.
Yes folks she’s back! She is home, resting comfortably now. We are celebrating by ordering in Chinese (and maybe sushi for me too). Jen will be watching her beloved Maple Leafs on our nice big screen.
Her strength at this time has been unbelievable. Every movement is pain but she made it back safe and sound. She gets even stronger daily. I can’t wait to see how she’s doing by this time next week. She should be making a full recovery in about six weeks, barring anything unexpected.
Of course, this is not necessarily the end of Cancer Chronicles. We will see Dr. Sugimoto in a couple weeks to go over test results and follow up on Jen’s recovery. Even with clean test results, she will be monitored for the next five years.
So, it’s not “over over”, but for now this battle is won. Fuck you cancer. You didn’t beat us this time. Just look at that face. Does that look like someone who’s been beaten? Not by a long shot. That’s one of the strongest faces I know.
Thanks again for all the wonderful support here in this rock and roll community. I have not have time to respond to anyone, but every message is read and cherished. You rock. And so does Jen!
First year of university involved “frosh week”. All the new students would have events and basically just party for a week. I wasn’t into that and I only attended the first night. It concluded with an Australian comedy band playing some amusing novelty songs. Wish I could remember their name.
My friend Andy, who was accepted at the University of Waterloo, had different entertainment for frosh week. “We had this shitty band called Barenaked Ladies,” he told me. Barenaked Ladies? The fuck was that?
Barenaked Ladies were an acoustic group from Scarborough Ontario who specialised in quirky and often humorous original songs. Little did I know that their Yellow Tape demo was making waves. I was focused on what was happening in Canadian metal. It didn’t take long after that Waterloo gig for the band to gain national awareness. Their excellent cover of Bruce Cockburn’s “Lovers in a Dangerous Time” got a nation wide release on a tribute album called Kick at the Darkness. The quintessentially Canadian music video was in constant rotation.
And for comparison:
The Cockburn cover was impressive. It showed off the central vocal harmonies of Steven Page and Ed Robertson, and it was obvious the band were schooled on their instruments. Barenaked Ladies didn’t focus on mainstream instruments, preferring double bass and congas.
My sister became a fan quickly, and when their first official album Gordon was released in ’92, she dove right in. Before long she had a vast collection of Barenaked rarities, including a bootleg tape she recorded herself at a Kitchener show. Some of the bands’ most popular songs with fans were not on Gordon, such as “McDonalds Girl” and the Public Enemy cover “Fight the Power”.
I casually followed the band along with her, appreciating their lyrical cleverness and occasional emotional depth. I helped her collect rarities at record shows. She sent pianist/percussionist Andy Creeggan a vintage 1977 Darth Vader sticker to put on his congas. And he did. And it can be seen in some video footage if you look hard enough.
I went to see them with her on their 1996 Born on a Pirate Ship tour. I was impressed with a lot of their new songs, especially the intense “Straw Hat and Old Dirty Hank”, a track about an Anne Murray stalker. They played it live at that show (which featured Mike Smith aka “Bubbles” in opening band Sandbox).
As soon as Steven Page hit the stage, he seemed to be simmering. He was dressed in his goofy shorts as usual, but he seemed…angry? Intense. It really came out in “Straw Hat and Old Dirty Hank” which boiled over. I gained a real appreciation for the band that night, and also for Steven Page as an artist. Whatever was bothering him that day (if that was indeed the case), he poured it into the show. It was an incredible night.
Unfortunately for us, Barenaked Ladies evolved into the mainstream over the years. Both of us lost interest as they changed. Andy Creeggan left the band after their second album Maybe You Should Drive, which meant the congas were gone. Jim Creeggan traded his big stand up bass for an electric more often. The emotion seemed to drain from their albums as time went on.
I wasn’t very surprised when Steven Page left the band in 2009. As their music became more campy and often aimed at kids, Page was less comfortable. His drug bust in New York was the real shock, since he was caught doing cocaine. That certainly clashed with the band’s family friendly image.
The band carried on and Page went solo, but there’s a new twist. On March 25 2018, Barenaked Ladies will be inducted into the Canadian Music Hall of Fame. It’ll be done during the Juno Awards broadcast, and Steven Page will be returning to perform with them. “I hope it’s fun,” said Page. “I honestly haven’t been in the same room as the other guys – all the other guys at once – since I left the band. It’ll be good to see them all, but it’s going to be odd. It’s not like we’re getting back together.”
Odd indeed, but stranger things have happened. Will you be checking out the big reunion on March 25?
I’m home now after three nights in London Ontario. Jen is still in hospital recovering from her cancer surgery. Her mom will be taking care of her for a couple days until I return.
I’m exhausted, but I managed to find a few hours to relax during this trying time. A big part of that was being able to watch Star Trek: Discovery on Sunday night before surgery. I’ve learned that it’s important to give yourself small things to look forward to. My weekly treat is Star Trek. It has been a long time since I have watched any kind of Star Trek on a weekly basis. In the 90s, the entire family would watch The Next Generation together. (My dad likes to make up his own names for episodes. For example: “Data’s Head”.)
This week’s episode of Discovery contained some Earth-shattering surprises, and a few theory confirmations. Later on, I took some time to watch After Trek, the talk show that follows. Shazad Latif (Tyler) and “surprise guest” Mary Chieffo (L’Rell) were on this week. They did a funny gag introducing Chieffo, where she got to recite one of her famous lines as L’Rell. “The prayer should make you remember, something is wrong!” She did it in her own Klingon accent, and I had a genuine belly laugh.
So fucking cool. Mary Chieffo helped brighten my week a little tiny bit while my wife was recovering from surgery. She had no way of knowing that, but this really shows something: how much a small insignificant gesture can help make a grey day a little brighter. So thanks, Mary Chieffo, for that one tweet in the middle of a difficult week. You rock. (Chieffo seems like a real fan, plus her Twitter handle is @marythechief which doubles the cool factor.)
Jen’s second day in recovery was more painful than the first. Several people told us that would be the case, as the initial painkillers wore off. She was still kicking ass, but one thing she realized about this particular surgery is: farts hurt! Yes, farts hurt. Passing gas is today’s challenge for her. Please join me in wishing my wife successful farting. Qapla’…? Mary, do you happen to know the Klingon word for “fart”? It’s not in my Klingon dictionary.
Thanks again to everyone who has been leaving comments that I have been unable to respond to! And thanks to Dr. Sugimoto and the wonderful nurses in London.
I have to admit I’m surprised how fantastic Jen looked and sounded post-surgery. I’ve never experienced surgery; it scares the shit out of me. Jen did it like a champion! The hospital staff kept telling us what a great person she is. Of course we know that already!
We spent several hours with her yesterday and she was in top spirits. When we arrived, she was playing video games. We got her hooked up with a TV so she could watch the hockey game. We brought her yarn and needles so she could continue working on her knitting projects. We got her some coffee and she was thrilled. She wasn’t allowed any coffee before surgery. She said it was the best coffee she ever tasted.
A little while later the nurses had her out of bed for her first walk. Part of the long recovery process is walking, breathing and coughing. It hurt — I could see the pain on her face. It will be several days before she’s able to come home.
I, however, have to get back to “real life”. Jen’s mom will be taking care of her for the next few days. At least I know she’s in good hands.
Recovery means she’ll be taking it easy for about six weeks. I’ll be doing double duty on house chores which means much less writing. That’s OK. I had a pretty good five year run of writing almost daily.
Now, you may wonder “what’s with the main photo at the top of this article?” It’s called “Guess The Grossness”, a fun hospital game that Jen plays. Can you guess what the “food” is in the top photo?
Thanks for all your support. It had been overwhelming, and so appreciated. Thank you all!
It was a long anxious day but it’s done now. Jen’s surgery went well We’re all exhausted so this will be a short one.
We didn’t get to see her while she was in the recovery room. We’ll see her Tuesday and we’ll bring her anything that she wants. I miss her. I can’t wait to see her and tell her how amazing she is. Everybody told us how special she is. Of course, we already know that.
The past week was stressful for Jen and I. We met the surgeon on January 9. He didn’t tell us anything we didn’t expect, but still: it was happening. It was real. Time was ticking we couldn’t shut it out of our minds anymore. We had to get ready to Jen’s surgery and aftercare.
Three hours of surgery will be following by approximately a week in the hospital for recovery. Then, six to eight weeks recovery at home. Dr. Sugimoto assured me that if Jen’s home care was too difficult, they would arrange for help. She’s applied for Mobility Plus, the special busses for the disabled. We both really like “Dr. Sugi” as the staff call him. When Jen had her biopsy, she had abnormal bleeding. Dr. Sugimoto came back from home to re-do the gauze. He’s amazing, honestly.
Even though we have incredible support, we are only human. Both of us. After the last meeting with Dr. Sugimoto, I was unable to go back to work. The weight of this is affecting me emotionally and physically. I hoped I could be stronger. I set a goal for myself to keep going to work. That was my mistake and I knew it. It wasn’t a realistic goal. I knew there was a real chance I wouldn’t be able to go to work every day. So, I felt like a failure and it was my fault. I guilt myself like nobody else can.
We’ve never gone through something like this. I don’t know how we’re “supposed” to feel and act.
I think we’re prepared as much as one can be. When she comes home there will be a new set of challenges, but let’s not get ahead of ourselves. When I have news to post, I’ll post it.
In the meantime, every comment and prayer is appreciated. We love you and we’ll be back soon.
GETTING MORE TALE #633: Don’t Take Offence At My Innuendo
I didn’t understand Queen until it was almost too late. When I was a highschool hair metal brat, Queen were “too pop” for my tastes. Much of their music seemed to be novelty songs to me. Highschool pep rally music: “We Will Rock You”, “We are the Champions”. In the late 80s, North America had all but given up on Queen. My exposure to them was minimal until 1991.
MuchMusic began playing a new Queen video called “Innuendo”. The animated short was intense with firey guitar histronics (courtesy of Steve Howe from Yes) and an exotic Zeppelin edge. Having just got into Zeppelin big time, this was very appealing. At school, old pal Scott Peddle concurred. “That new Queen is quite the Zeppelin tune,” and I agreed. As far as I was concerned, any band that could homage Zep’s “Kashmir” with their own unique slant, well, I had to check them out!
M.E.A.T Magazine had a new interview with Brian May that year, and so my learning began. It was the first I heard of Freddie’s rumoured health problems. Queen hadn’t toured since 1986 and this raised questions. Little did I know, but the British tabloids were all over Freddie with candid photos and near-death pronouncements. Brian denied the health concerns, but admitted that it was Freddie who didn’t want to tour. This was because as singer, he couldn’t smoke, drink and party with the rest of the band. He had to take care of his voice. So went the interview. Brian assured readers that Queen would continue, as they were already half-way through the next Queen album, eventually released in 1995 as Made in Heaven.
The next chapter in my learning came during the summer. In guitar magazine interview, Brian May ran through all the Queen albums one by one. I drank in every word, as I got a rough outline of what this band was all about. Diversity, mostly, and I liked that. Zeppelin too was diverse, but I sensed that Queen took it to another level. I made plans to begin collecting Queen.
After highschool, I managed to stay in touch with a guy named Andy. Andy had an older brother with an extensive record collection. Andy told me all about this song called “Bohemian Rhapsody”. He was over one night when my mom came downstairs to tell us some bad news. It was the 23rd of November, 1991. Freddie Mercury had made a statement.
“Following the enormous conjecture in the press over the last two weeks, I wish to confirm that I have been tested HIV positive and have AIDS. I felt it correct to keep this information private to date to protect the privacy of those around me. However, the time has come now for my friends and fans around the world to know the truth and I hope that everyone will join with me, my doctors and all those worldwide in the fight against this terrible disease. My privacy has always been very special to me and I am famous for my lack of interviews. Please understand this policy will continue.”
There was such a stigma surrounding AIDS then, more so than today. It is easy to be critical of Freddie’s decision to keep his illness secret. Unless you were there in 1991, then you really can’t know how difficult it was for AIDS sufferers at the time.
Andy and I were shellshocked. The rumours were true. The denials were false. Brian later admitted that he knew early on that Freddie was sick. Still, Andy and I had no idea how serious it was. We talked, we listened to Queen. Freddie died the very next day (the same day as Eric Carr of Kiss). I had hardly got to know him.
My mom was headed to the mall and she asked if I wanted anything. “Yes,” I answered. “The first Queen album please.” She returned that afternoon with Queen, 1973. It was my first Queen. I intended to collect them in order.
Getting all the albums in original order went sideways shortly after. Less than three months after Freddie’s passing, came a worldwide phenomenon: Wayne’s World.
Overnight, Queen were everywhere again. Everyone knew every word to “Bohemian Rhapsody”. The few months’ head start that I had were meaningless. Two weeks later, Hollywood Records released Classic Queen in North America. This was essentially a revised Greatest Hits II from 1991, (which they didn’t even bother to release here) with older hits thrown in. Later that year came a new version of Greatest Hits, with the track listing revamped to avoid overlap with Classic Queen. Confusing? Indeed, it must have been to old fans who already had the old Greatest Hits with the original cover art. That immediately became a collectable. To new guys like me, I was just trying to keep up.
Hollywood Records reissued all the old Queen albums as part of their 20 Years of Queen series. There were bonus tracks. I had begun my Queen collection on cassette, but I was irked to discovery that some of the CD editions had bonus tracks that were not on the cassettes. And so, I already had to re-buy. Interestingly, some of those old 1991 bonus tracks are remixes that are now out of print and not available on the newer Queen reissues.
It was a blessing that I stopped buying them in chronological order. After all, I didn’t want to wait that long to get Innuendo, an album with more than the average amount of heavy Queen rock. Next, I got News of the World. Its bonus tracks was a pretty awful remix of “We Will Rock You” by Rick Rubin and featuring Flea. Fortunately the album itself was much better. Queen’s best? Quite possibly, due to “It’s Late”, a Queen epic as regal as any. The 6:27 Brian May workout is a clear highlight on an album of nothing but. “It’s Late” sunk its hooks in me deep.
As it was difficult for Hollywood Records to to extract new releases from a defunct band, the reissues continued. Queen At the Beeb was out of print, so it was re-released with new cover art as Queen at the BBC in 1995. This collection of live oldies from Queen and Queen II were not what the hit-buying general public were interested in. My copy was a cassette promo from the Record Store, intended for store play. The boss never played it so I claimed it.
Working at the Record Store, I was able to fill in most of the blanks in my collection. A nice find was a version of The Miracle with 14 tracks instead of the more common 13. I still have that. (The additional track was the 12″ remix of “Scandal”.) It was ol’ buddy T-Rev who made sure I knew these things.
As the years passed, Queen releases became less important. The long-awaited final album Made in Heaven became a shelf warmer at Christmas 1995. Regardless of its deep emotional contents, people didn’t want to know. The unfortunate effect of Queen’s sudden comeback in North America is that people lost interest a few years after they gained it.
Not me. Made in Heaven became a dark favourite. Two years later, Queen indicated they weren’t done yet. The trio of Brian May, Roger Taylor and John Deacon regrouped for one last song: the ballad “No-One But You (Only the Good Die Young)”. It was a tribute to Freddie and Princess Diana, and released on a new compilation called Queen Rocks.
John Deacon retired, but then something strange happened. The duo of Brian May and Roger Taylor reconvened as “Queen +”. This moniker was used for a number of remixes on Greatest Hits III: Queen + Wyclef Jean, for example. There was Five + Queen doing a new boy band version of “We Will Rock You”. Queen + Paul Rodgers did an album (The Cosmos Rocks) and a number of tours. But it wasn’t until a former American Idol TV contestant named Adam Lambert came on board that Queen regained mass public awareness. Now, Queen + Adam Lambert are a hot touring commodity.
That might have to be enough. Because nobody bought The Cosmos Rocks, Queen + Adam Lambert are unlikely at this time to record new music. Instead they will be tearing up stages Down Under in 2018. They promise all the favourites, and a few unexpected oldies. Lambert is a versatile singer who can do it all, so Australia and New Zealand are now on alert: Queen + Adam Lambert are coming and are promising a hell of a show.
Auckland – 17 & 18 February
Sydney – 21 & 22 February
Brisbane – 24 February
Adelaide (first Queen shows since 1984) – 27 & 28 February
GETTING MORE TALE #632: Early Attempts at Songwriting
Because nothing we did in highschool lasts forever, I chose to keep as much stuff as possible. I have an entire binder full of our highschool comic book “Brett-Lore”. Everybody knew that it needed to be kept safe and sound, and so I was the one to do it. 27 years after graduation, I still have Brett-Lore safe and sound. I would never get rid of it. Too many great memories.
I also kept some early attempts at songwriting. Specifically: lyrics. Some of these songs had music written or recorded for them, but it is now lost. Not that it matters, since the lyrics are so hot.
On a page of lyrics “by Mike + Dan”, I found this potential smash hit song.
“Fuck, Hell is Hot”
Fuck it’s hot in this pit,
So damn hot I feel like shit,
I wake up in the morning,
From the torment of my bed,
I had spikes for my pillow,
That went straight through my head.
Guitar solo – end
This was a thrash metal song, which was all the rage in 1990. Obviously a novelty song, it was based off other joke thrash songs I’d heard. A local band called F.U.H.Q. had a song called “Jimi Hendrix Falling Off a Roof”. It was basically just them screaming “AHHHHHH!” and then “I’m dead!”
The next song down is scribbled next to a half-assed Van Halen logo. It’s another novelty song:
“Snake in my Pants”
I got a snake in my pants,
And it loves to dance,
Sometimes it spits venom,
Sometimes it bites victims,
But all the time my snake’s alive.
I remember that one. Definitely my work, not Dan’s. You can tell by the subtle use of metaphor.
Dan and I were really into Led Zeppelin at this time, because they had just released their first box set. We both found Robert Plant’s lyrics a little comical, so over-the-top they were with symbolism. We attempted to write our own version of a Led Zeppelin song. We called it “Abbis’ Stomp”. Abbis was a nickname for a guy in class who was actually named Andrew. I don’t know why they called him Abbis, but he too loved Zeppelin and we named it after him.
“Abbis’ Stomp” was recorded and I still have it on cassette. I sang it and a guy named Dave played guitar. There was a 20 minute instrumental section if I remember correctly.
“Abbis’ Stomp”
The forest is alive and vibrant green,
And here she comes: the reigning Queen,
The moon is bright and over the lake,
And the Queen is on the make.
Oh, oh, ah!
The beat, it pounds in my heart,
The Stallion takes off like a dart,
The streets are deadly in these times,
But killing dwarves is a crime.
Oh, oh, ah!
Great Christmas Tree,
Someday you’ll come back to me,
Beautiful Christmas Tree….
I open the Book of Life and see,
The pages staring back at me,
The dragon breathes its acrid breath,
And fries the Christmas Tree to death.
Oh, oh, oh, oh, ahh!
Reading back, and singing the melody in my head, I understand now why Robert Plant never contacted us for songwriting help. And I see bits of lines that were directly ripped off from Iron Maiden. See if you can spot them.
There was better stuff on other pages. “Unleashed in the Middle East” was a topical song about the Gulf War, written by Dan, myself and a third guy named Andy. It was a more innocent time and this song reflects it. It’s all about driving out evil Saddam. “From this chaos rose a man, a tyrant for all to see…” Then there is “Night of the Serpent”, a lyric Dan wrote solo. It has religious overtones and it’s by far the best thing in the binder. He was a talented writer.
I should contact the guys. We should complete these songs and make an album! I know the binder alone contains more than enough material for one record. We always talked about sitting down and properly recording some originals and covers. We never did because we weren’t good enough. But in the glowing light of nostalgia, anything can have value.
mikeladano.com 