Marillion have 16 studio albums: Four with original poet and singer Fish, and 12 (going on 13) with Steve “H” Hogarth. (I’m not counting the album of acoustic versions called Less Is More.) Like any band who have had more than one beloved singer, it is very difficult to try to arrange their albums in any sort of rated order. How can you compare an album like Brave to Fugazi? They are nothing alike. They share similar DNA, and the ambition to play intelligent rock music, but to say one is better than the other? I wouldn’t want to do that.
But I must. This was a request. I have to oblige.
Starting from the bottom, here are Marillion’s studio albums from weak to strong.
16.Somewhere Else (2007). Following an album like Marbles (2004) is damn near impossible. Somewhere Else has never completely clicked with me and it remains foggy in my memory. Incidentally, the vinyl version has three live bonus tracks and a slightly shuffled song order, as well as a warm sound that benefits the listening experience.
15.Happiness is the Road (2008). Consisting of a massive eight sides of vinyl (!), Happiness is the Road is broken into two albums: Essence, and The Hard Shoulder. While both discs contain memorable songs such as “This Train is My Life”, the set is too sprawling and slow to be enjoyed frequently. (The vinyl version contains bonus live tracks from the album Happiness is Cologne.)
14.marillion.com (1999). I love that the band were digging into trip-hop and writing catchy poppy songs, but as a whole the album doesn’t rank higher than…
13.Holidays in Eden (1991). Some like it, some consider it too commercial. I fall into the second category.
12.This Strange Engine (1997). I still like this mostly acoustic album (I own three copies), but it’s a departure. Iron Tom Sharpe calls this “the one that sounds like Hootie and the Blowfish”. It retains progressive moments but also stretches out into celtic folky sounds and tropical celebrations.
11. Anoraknophobia (2001). A decent album, a bit long winded but a progression over 1999’s marillion.com
10.Sounds That Can’t Be Made (2012). I think Marillion really grabbed this album by the balls. It’s fearless.
9.Afraid of Sunlight (1996). This middle grouping of albums on the list are really so close it’s meaningless. It’s splitting hairs to put them in a meaningful order. Afraid of Sunlight scores high due to the excellent title track.
8.Brave (1994). This is where Marillion-with-Hogarth really came into their own. It is still one of the most ambitious Marillion albums and an emotional roller coaster of a concept record. There’s also a heavy 10 minute jam released as a B-side called “Marouette Jam” that necessitates buying of the remastered 2 CD edition.
7.Seasons End (1989). The most difficult album of a career is gonna be the first album with the new singer. By retaining their classic sound with a few new twists and a new charismatic frontman, Marillion successfully rode through the transition.
6.Radiation (1998). I love this noisy reject of an album. It’s brilliant.
5.Script For a Jester’s Tear (1983). Fish finally makes his first appearance on this list with the very first Marillion album. Genius poetry but complicated tunes make this one a jagged-edged favourite.
4.Marbles (2004). Marillion’s first double CD studio album, never wearing out its welcome. Like Brave, but grilled to perfection and with all the accouterments.
3.Fugazi (1984). Fugazi is not an easy album to get into, with a pugnaciously opaque second side. The first side is pure genius.
2.Misplaced Childhood (1985). The record company shit their pants when they heard that Marillion were doing a concept album for their third record. The band had written two 20+ minute pieces of music tentatively titled “side one” and “side two”. After honing it live, they unleashed Misplaced Childhood to the stunned masses.
1.Clutching At Straws (1987). It not difficult to put Clutching at Straws as #1. It is one of Marillion’s most beloved, and Fish’s favourite. The dark poetry and sharp songwriting makes it a timeless perennial favourite, never stale, and always revealing new facets to its personality. An utter classic.
Marillion have numerous live albums (I lost count but well over 50 or 60) and greatest hits with exclusive material to boot. Ranking those is all but meaningless. Having said that, one essential purchase for a serious Marillion fan is their first double live, The Thieving Magpie (1988). This epic contains a full performance of Misplaced Childhood, as well as non-album cuts like “Freaks”. Another great record to own is B’Sides Themselves (also 1988), containing some of Marillion’s most memorable B-sides. These include the 18 minute epic “Grendel”, and more concise classics such as “Tux On” and “Market Square Heroes”.
Dig into some Marillion and see what the frak you’ve been missing!
RECORD STORE TALES MkII: Getting More Tale #411: Stop Playing ‘Beth’ – The Post-Sausagefest Countdown
Perhaps the only bigger production than going to Sausagefest is coming home from Sausagefest. At least when you’re travelling with Uncle Meat.
As we have previous years, Uncle Meat rode up with me. This time he slept in my car too. This pretty much left me responsible for him. I roused bright and early from a restful slumber on Saturday morning to evacuate my bladder. Imagine my surprise when I found, at 6:30 in the morning, Uncle Meat, Bucky and Matt still up from the night before. They were just starting to fall asleep when I took my morning shit. I then went back to sleep in my tent for a few more hours.
Our Saturday morning tradition is to hit up the Flying Spatula in Flesherton for our breakfast fill-up. Sebastien, driving his 4×4, stopped by my tent and asked if I was riding up with him. Ready for some bacon and eggs, I hopped on board with Seb, while Meat snoozed away in my car’s passenger side seat.
My first controversy of the weekend was not waking Meat up for breakfast. Being that he had only gone to bed a couple hours before, I thought I was doing him a favour. Apparently not. “Breakfast before sleep!” he said. Apparently that’s the Meat priorities.
Saturday went off without a hitch, breakfast arrangements aside. I will post the full 78 song countdown (plus a couple odds n’ ends) in the days ahead. Saturday night was loaded with long bombers, such as “Rime of the Ancient Mariner” (13 minutes), the live “Child in Time” from Made In Japan (12 minutes), and “Shine On You Crazy Diamond” (25 minutes). The excellent countdown (dubbed “the greatest songs of all time”) ended after midnight.
Sunday morning, I found I had the most difficult job of all. It took me an hour and a half (close to two hours) to wake Uncle Meat from his slumber. As the others were packing up their tents and heading off into the sunrise, I found I had a passenger unwilling or unable to rouse himself. “If you let him sleep in your car again next year, then there will be nobody to blame but you,” said Troy.
I cranked “I Stole Your Love” at max volume. No reaction. Tom threw a 12-pack of socks at his head (photo above). No reaction. I played Kiss’ “Beth”, followed by the 1988 Eric Carr re-recording. Still nothing. Only when I put the car in drive and started moving it around did Meat finally decide to wake himself. I took him on a drousy “drive of shame” to visit all the people who had no trouble waking up. “I have a boner” he announced. Yes, it’s true — Uncle Meat woke up with wood.
After telling us all about his boner, he kept shouting “Stop playing ‘Beth’!” even though the song was no longer playing. This continued when we pulled into our first stop, Top of the Rock, for him to get his first coffee. “Stop playing ‘Beth’!” he shouted in a barely-there voice, any time somebody was in his vicinity.
“Stop playing ‘Beth’!” he shouted, when his roomate Zack also pulled into Top of the Rock. Zack informed us, “That’s just him. He’ll just keep repeating it unless he gets something new in his head.” Zack paused and said, “Watch. Rododendron!”
“Rhododendron!” shouted Meat, parroting his roomate. “Rhododendron! Stop playing ‘Beth’!”
And that was it pretty much the rest of the ride home. A selection of brief statements, repeated ad nauseum: “Rhododendron!” “Stop playing ‘Beth’!” “Coffee!” Repeat.
The weekend more than made up for the ride home. Sebastien and I shot lots of footage, including underwater stuff with his GoPro. For the first time ever, we will be combining footage and doing the annual videos together. Be patient, this will be worth it.
Three albums I must own, after this year’s Sausagefest:
RECORD STORE TALES MkII: Getting More Tale #410: Doing it Right
I’ve complained about the way I was treated toward the end of the Record Store Days, but that was a small part of my life there. In the beginning before we grew too big for our britches, it was a wonderful place to be. There were a lot of things we did right, and there are hundreds of great memories of that era.
What did we do right, or differently, to make it so special for us?
No uniforms! I remember the staff at HMV had these ugly shirts they had to wear. We had plain T-shirts with a logo, which were optional most of the time.
A better listening selection. Although the rules about this got more restrictive later on, back then we could listen to pretty much any one of the thousands of used CDs we had in stock. Big chain stores at the time had less flexibility in their playlists.
I felt a real “all for one, one for all” attitude. It was inclusive. I felt like we were the up-and-comers, underdogs ready to take on the big record stores. Management were excellent at sowing this kind of feeling, that we were all on the same team even if we worked at different stores. When the owner took a step back and let others run the show, the feeling of camaraderie changed into a feeling of exclusion. Nothing lasts forever, but I felt much more job satisfaction when I felt like I was contributing to a real team.
Rewarding the staff. We had an annual Christmas party, and an annual summer house party. These were epic. “Time to release the hatch!” As a store manager, I always did my best to reward my own staff, by buying them CDs that they wanted. I did this voluntarily with my own cash because that’s the kind of manager I tried to be.
The owner was willing to help out. I remember him saying in a newspaper interview that he “still washed the windows sometimes.” While I never saw him wash the windows, he was always willing to jump behind the counter when we were busy. This continued even into my last year.
People power. I don’t know if anything is more important in the workplace than the quality of the people you work with. Work is a second home. In some cases you spend more time with your co-workers than your family. Both the owner and his people were very good at hiring excellent staff. There will always be a certain percentage of bad apples and people who don’t work out, but I had the privilege of working with some of the best. I feel genuinely blessed to have the experience of knowing and working side by side with these unique folk
I’ve somehow managed to find great places to work with amazing people. Today I work with another completely different crew, and each and every one of them is awesome. I’ve never seen a more diverse bunch and that keeps it fun and interesting every day!
RECORD STORE TALES MkII: Getting More Tale #409: Mirror Mirror
Our original store was my favourite. It was this teeny tiny little CD shop in the middle of an uncool mall. It was small and the rent was too damn high, but it was a cool place to work. It was the best place to work. There were only three of us back then: The owner, myself and T-Rev. Because we had to make due with such a small store, space was a commodity that we were constantly trying to make the most of.
One clever thing the owner did to make the store appear larger was install big mirrors on the rear wall. The mirrors started about waist-high, from about where our CD shelves were also placed, and went to the ceiling. If you looked in, the illusion was a store that was much deeper than it appeared.
The crappy thing about mirrors or any glass surface in a store is that they attract fingerprints and smudges like a magnet. Kids with sticky, dripping hands love to touch anything. The mirrors looked good, and that was the main thing. In fact, when they were clean it was enough to create an optical illusion for some shoppers….
I was working one evening as an old man in a walker was browsing our easy listening section near the back. After letting him browse for a few minutes, I approached him to ask if he needed any help.
“Yeah!” he responded swiftly. “Is that section back there closed to cripples and old men?”
“I’m sorry?” I responded, confused at first what he was talking about. The isles between our shelves were narrow but accessible. Maybe he thought we had a back room with washrooms he can use.
“No you can browse anywhere you like, is there something I might be able to help you find?”
“Just a way to get back there!” he responded testily.
“Back where?” I asked. I was still confused.
The man pointed towards the mirrors, apparently not noticing our reflections in them.
“Oh!” I said finally cluing in. “These are just mirrors, there is nothing back there at all. See?” I waved to myself and showed him.
“OH!” said the old man, quite embarrassed. “I’m sorry to bother you!”
“Not a problem sir!” I said to the man with a smile. “It happens, it used to confuse me too when I started shopping here,” I lied. I felt bad for the old guy. Just another day in the life of the Record Store!
On our old store applications/music test, one of the questions we asked was, “Who would play you in the movie of your life?” (It may have said “musical of your life”, I don’t quite remember exactly.) We had some good answers to the question. I always said that if I had taken the test, I would have answered “Meat Loaf”.
The musical or movie of my life would have be centred on Record Store Tales, obviously. That would require a lot of creative casting in order to fully capture the eccentric personalities. We couldn’t just try to re-capture the vibe of High Fidelity or Empire Records. We would strive for finding the perfect actors for the roles.
In addition to writing and producing the feature, I would also insist upon the last word when it comes to casting. I’ll be a control freak a-la E.L. James on set. I would seek out Martin Scorsese to direct.
The movie would not be without its challenges. How, for example, do we film the famous Open Door Shit scene? I would insist on it being in the movie. Otherwise, what’s the point of it? I would throw a Christian Bale-sized temper tantrum if it were to be cut. We’d also have to get permission to use a lot of great songs, which can be tricky to secure.
But what about the cast? This is how I picture it.
RECORD STORE TALES MkII: Getting More Tale #407: Summertime
I’ve always been a summer guy. I was born in July. I don’t like the snow. My spirits are stronger and moods happier in the summer. Summer holidays were glorious days to be spent at the cottage. The beach, swimming, new music, no school…plus my birthday. My whole year revolved around July and August!
Working at the Record Store in the summer was fun. The sun pouring through the windows, opening the door and letting the breeze in…it was wonderful. Not to mention that, as a single male, I didn’t mind female customers coming in dressed for summer.
Of course summer wasn’t all peaches and cream. It meant the return of the infamous “No Shirts, No Shoes, No Service” sign and its enforcement thereof. I hated having to kick people out for coming in with no shirt, but it had to be done.
Me: “Hey, do you mind putting on a shirt in the store?”
Him: “Why, are you serving food here?”
No, it’s just that I don’t want to have to watch the bead of sweat dripping off your nipple ring.
T-Rev made a different sign. His said:
Because highschool is free, And Jerry Springer does not work here, Shoes and Shirts must be worn in store.
But I don’t know if he ever hung it up. I hope he did.
People with no shoes were just as bad, particularly the Barefoot DJ who tried to fight us for his human rights to walk around with no shoes on. All I know is that I had standing orders to kick him out, human rights be damned. You can do whatever you want out there, but inside the store where insurance companies tell us what to do, you gotta obey the rules! (If a CD case fell off the shelf and broke, and he stepped on a piece and cut his foot, he could sue. And CD cases fell of the shelf and shattered every day.)
Because we had these big glass windows, sometimes the heat in the summer would get to be too much. It was like a greenhouse. There was always a constant battle over the air conditioning level, and it seemed we could never arrive at a compromise that made everyone comfortable. My final summer at the store (2005), it was so hot inside that I tended to leave the big overhead counter lights off. It made it harder for me to inspect incoming CDs for quality, but it also kept me from sweating all over them.
Summer album releases were memorable. Metallica’s Load (June 4 1996) was the soundtrack to that summer for me. In store, in car, it didn’t matter. Load saw a lot of store play. I’m quite fond of Load, and I’m sure the fact that it was Metallica that could be played in-store had a lot to do with that. The same summer, Kiss were out there on their reunion tour, and I had their You Wanted the Best live compilation (June 25 1996) to keep me company at work.
I expect summer 2015 to rock just as much. I don’t know what my album for the summer will be this year, but Van Halen’s Tokyo Dome Live in Concert is a contender. I’ve already shorn my mane to cope with the summer heat.
Still, when it comes to summertime, I truthfully think Sammy Hagar said it best:
“We made it through the cold And that freezin’ snow is gettin’ old, hey!
Woo! Summer nights and my radio (Ah-ah) Well that’s all we need, baby. Don’tcha know? We celebrate when the gang’s all here (Ah-ah) Ah, hot summer nights, that’s my time of the year-ow!”
RECORD STORE TALES MkII: Getting More Tale #406: All of the Aerosmith…
The following challenge was posted to me by reader chrisjcombs:
“I humbly request an entry that ranks —- in order of your preference —- Aerosmith’s entire discography. I would love to see where you’d place albums like Rock in Hard Place and Night in the Ruts when lined up against the likes of Just Push Play, Nine Lives, Get A Grip, etc.”
Having recently re-listened to virtually all of the Aerosmith, in order for my Box of Fire series of reviews, I had to oblige.
In order to give some ground rules to Chris’ request, I will have to stick to studio albums. I don’t own A Little South of Sanity, so for the purposes of this list, I will exclude live releases. I also don’t have all the different greatest hits, so I’ll leave those out too. What’s left is 15 studio albums. Since I’ve reviewed most of these albums already, I won’t be adding too much in terms of commentary. Let’s give’r!
After some deliberation here’s all of the Aerosmith, from worst to best:
I think Nine Lives is a real underdog of an album — a latter-day gooder, that often gets lumped in with shit like Just Push Play. Pump, in my opinion, is Aerosmith as close to a peak as possible, and very close indeed to the top of the pyramid. Sonically and song-wise, I think Pump is as F.I.N.E. fine as anything the did in the 1970’s!
I hope you enjoyed this list, and thanks to Chris for the suggestion!
RECORD STORE TALES MkII: Getting More Tale Report: Aux 33 Tours in Montréal
My sister, bass clarinetist Kathryn Ladano, just completed the east coast leg of her Canadian tour last month. This was followed by a western leg, but while returning home from the east there was a stop in Montréal. Kathryn is a collector too, though not to the extent that I am. She doesn’t need the physical musical media in her daily life like I do. She still collects some of her favourite bands, and has recently started buying vinyl. While in Montréal, she visited a record store called Aux 33 Tours, located at 1373 Mont-Royal Est. According to their website, it is the largest record store in the city. She emailed me the following day, May 27, raving about the store. I’ll let her take it from here! Enjoy the pictures.
I found the most amazing record store in Montréal yesterday! I found almost all The Spoons’ albums on LP, including ones that aren’t available on CD. I also found a promo live album by them that didn’t have a proper cover because it wasn’t supposed to be sold. They were all dirt cheap – like $2 – $7. One of them was autographed and personalized “To Martin”! [Fortuitously, her husband is also named Martin!] I also got Kid A on record. Kid A and Sgt. Peppers are reissues with heavy packaging. They had an original Sgt Peppers, but the reissue was cheaper, so I got that.
I spent about $140. Which I think is good for that many albums! Note: the Simon and Garfunkel and Gord Downie ones are Martin’s.
I’d also like to point out how rare that Bryan Adams single is. He really tried to bury that song! Watch the video, you’ll hear why. (They sped up his voice which gives him a Chipmunks sound.)
And finally, gratuitous photos of Schnauzers and Starfleet collars:
This is an incredibly difficult, but very important story to write. I did a draft back in November…put it in a drawer and didn’t want to see it again. Even now I don’t want to look at it.
There’s stuff in here that people don’t know, because I haven’t discussed it.
It’s clear to me now thatfinishingthe original Record Store Tales without this chapter was a big mistake. It should have been in there, to explain how things went from “point A” to “point B”. Any questions left lingering after that ending should now be answered.
RECORD STORE TALES MkII: Getting More Tale #403: Bully
Bullying is a huge issue today. Every week it seems we’re seeing kids kill themselves, because their bullies are everywhere. They don’t disappear. They’re online, they’re in the classroom, and they’re on the job. I tend to think that everybody has been bullied somewhat, so my story is no more important than yours. I’ve been criticized for talking about some of my experiences publicly. One or two people might not even believe me that these events happened.
Tough.
The experiences are mine. I don’t want them buried. I want somebody to draw some kind of strength or inspiration from them. That’s how I have chosen to turn a negative into a positive. If you don’t like it, I invite you to read something else today.
Grade school was tough. Teachers turned a blind eye. One teacher specifically teamed me up with my bully in gym class. This kid had been picking on me straight from grade 2. I don’t remember anymore what started it. I probably tattled on him for talking in class, but who knows now. He focused on me like a laser beam, right from grade 2 up. I could not shake this kid. He was always there, picking on me, through grade school. My 7th grade teacher, knowing all this, decided to team us up in gym. God knows what she was thinking. Did she assume that because we had to throw a ball back and forth, we’d suddenly become friends? Bonding over ball throwing? I hated that teacher. I hated that bully. That guy was so persistent, that once we hit highschool, he skipped his own gym class and attended mine, just to continue. My highschool gym teacher was so out of it he didn’t even realize he had an extra student.
What got me through these things? Music.
I saw a guy like Dee Snider take a stand against his own bullies. They called him a “sick mother fucker”. He turned it around and showed them he didn’t care. “Yes, I am a sick mother fucker. Thank you very much.” Later on, Twisted Sister even named their fan club the Sick Mother Fuckin’ Friends of Twisted Sister. SMF’s for short. He took something negative, robbed it of its power, and created something positive from it.
Twisted Sister, Motley Crue, and especially Kiss had lyrics about not letting these guys bother you. I took them to heart, and listened to the music day and night. The fact that not one kid in my school liked Kiss, Twisted Sister, or Motley Crue only made me that much more fanatic. “If the others don’t like these groups, and I don’t want to be like them, then this music is meant for me.”
Around grade 9, the bullying finally stopped. I made it through the rest of my school life without incident. The bullies had dropped out of school. Or switched schools. The truth is I don’t know what happened to them, I was just glad to be rid of them.
My love for my music never died. It grew stronger as I became more obsessed. Music eventually lead me to the Record Store where, unfortunately, after time, bullying began again.
It happened again in 2000. I remember 2000 quite clearly. There were two or three separate incidents in 2000. One event is permanently emblazoned in my memory, never fading, always vivid as it was 15 years ago.
One person in the organization, who happened to also be my supervisor, had been working for weeks and months on our master CD pricing catalogue. [Some of us refer to this person as “She Who Shall Not Be Named”.] Shortly after the CD master had been completed, I was buying some CDs from a customer. I will never forget they were Roch Voisine discs. For some reason Roch was not in our CD master catalogue. I couldn’t find him under “V” or even “R”. The owner was in my store that day, so I asked him.
“Hey, I can’t find Roch Voisine in the CD master. It’s supposed to be done now right?”
“I’m not sure,” he responded. “Why don’t you phone her [She Who Shall Not Be Named] and find out?”
I called and asked the question to her, my direct supervisor. She somehow took this as an insult and me trying to undermine her seniority. “You’re just mad that your precious Steve Vai isn’t in the CD master!” she shouted at me. I’ll never forget the words, “your precious Steve Vai.” It underlined things that were wrong about this person being in authority: she was making it personal.
During this rant, I was told that I was trying to sabotage her position in front of the big owner. When this person eventually arrived at my store, she walked past me at the counter, scowled and told me that I was “so dead for this.”
What? So dead for what? What did I do? I noticed Roch Voisine was not in our master list. My boss asked me to find out why. So I did. I was accused of this “sabotage”, and had the Steve Vai comment thrown at me, and then told I was “so dead”? I was absolutely floored.
She stopped speaking to me for two weeks straight. My direct supervisor, working almost daily in the same location as me, completely ignoring me, for two weeks. The tension could be cut with a knife. One customer, witnessing the tension and action of my supervisor one day, said “I can’t believe they treat you like that at work.” I developed a nervous twitch in my left eye that would not go away for months. My sleep was disturbed nightly. I was a tense, stressed out disaster on a daily basis at work. Then two weeks later it blew over, as if nothing had happened. The supervisor was once again friendly as pie. I think that is one reason why some don’t believe me that these events happened. Not everybody got to see that side of her. Some did. I remember them. Lyne, who couldn’t hack it anymore and bailed to work at HMV. They knew what I was going through, because they went through something similar with the same person.
Another thing about being bullied – victims sometimes protect their bullies. Sometimes they don’t tattle. They pretend everything is fine. They do this to avoid more retribution, to regain favour of the bully, and to hide embarrassment at being bullied in the first place. I know because that’s what I did. I did bring it up to the owner once, and he asked me if I wanted him to speak to her about it. I reacted in terror. “No! Then I’m afraid it will get worse!” So nothing happened.
Then it happened again…and again. Repeating the same pattern of bullying at work. The worst was not being spoken to for weeks on end by my supervisor. The next time it happened, it lasted three weeks. I’d be asked by the owner, “Mike, why didn’t you get this done?” Because nobody told me to do it.
The second time was worse because it was personal. It had nothing at all to do with work. This supervisor had an acrimonious split with her fiancé, who also worked within the company. I knew them both. I won’t go into any details on this, because the people involved probably don’t want to be reminded of this epic shitstorm. In fact one of my bully’s friends emailed me three years ago when I first started publishing Record Store Tales, hoping I had no plans for writing about that very shitstorm. He said he was losing sleep over the thought. I told him I was not going to talk about it, because it had nothing to do with me, and I still have respect for some of the people involved. Suffice to say – there was a relationship that ended within the store, and even though it shouldn’t have, it affected the store. And me.
There was a show in town that I had attended one Saturday night. My supervisor also attended it, along with several staff members. After the gig, I said goodnight and told everyone that I was heading home, see you all Monday.
On the way home, I realized that it was her ex-fiance’s birthday, and that he was celebrating at a bar that was on my way. So I stopped in to wish him a happy birthday, and resumed my trek home.
On Monday, my supervisor confronted me about it! “You told me you were going home, but you lied to me! I found out you went to see him after the show! I don’t care if you see him! Don’t ever lie to me! If you ever lie to me again you are dead!”
I denied having lied to anyone, but she was on a roll. I was in tears when she was done. I knew that I was going to be treated to more weeks of silence and bullying, and it had nothing to do with work at all. It had to do with someone who was in a position of power, who was not able to keep her work and personal lives separate. Although the first bullying incident nearly destroyed me, the second one was worse, and I knew that there was no way I was ever going to shake this person as long as we both worked for the same company. I tried to out-last her, but she out-lasted me and I quit first. I broke the cycle by removing myself from it.
Someone once asked me, “Was it bullying, or just somebody being an asshole repeatedly?” It sure felt like bullying to me, although it took me years to admit it to myself. The pattern of protecting the bully and pretending everything was normal continued for six years, out of fear. It was like grade school all over again. It felt exactly the same. I consider myself a survivor. I made it through. I had to quit the store to do it, but I did it.
After leaving, I began to put the pieces together. That what I had experienced wasn’t “normal” like some seemed to think it was. Calling it something else didn’t change the fact that this person was a total bully. My bully. And like most bullies, she was good at wearing two faces. That’s why, I guess, some of her friends today choose not to believe me that it sucked as bad as it did. Just because she was nice 50% of the time didn’t negate the stuff they didn’t see. A bully can still be mean to you part of the time, even if they bring chocolates to work and act nice the rest of the time. It was an experience that drove me close to the point of nervous breakdown (or beyond), and nobody is going to tell me that it didn’t happen, or that it wasn’t as bad as it was.
It did happen. It made me a stronger person today.
I’m grateful that artists such as Paul Stanley and Dee Snider went through something like what I went through, and survived to sing about it. Now it’s my turn to tell you about it. Somewhere out there, I hope there’s a kid who decides not to take any more shit from their bully. Break the cycle.
I have disabled comments for this chapter. I want the story to stand on its own, and I don’t want to talk about “She Who Shall Not Be Named” any more. Thank you.
16. Somewhere Else (2007). Following an album like Marbles (2004) is damn near impossible. Somewhere Else has never completely clicked with me and it remains foggy in my memory. Incidentally, the vinyl version has three live bonus tracks and a slightly shuffled song order, as well as a warm sound that benefits the listening experience.
15. Happiness is the Road (2008). Consisting of a massive eight sides of vinyl (!), Happiness is the Road is broken into two albums: Essence, and The Hard Shoulder. While both discs contain memorable songs such as “This Train is My Life”, the set is too sprawling and slow to be enjoyed frequently. (The vinyl version contains bonus live tracks from the album Happiness is Cologne.)
14. marillion.com (1999). I love that the band were digging into trip-hop and writing catchy poppy songs, but as a whole the album doesn’t rank higher than…
13. Holidays in Eden (1991). Some like it, some consider it too commercial. I fall into the second category.
12. This Strange Engine (1997). I still like this mostly acoustic album (I own three copies), but it’s a departure. Iron Tom Sharpe calls this “the one that sounds like Hootie and the Blowfish”. It retains progressive moments but also stretches out into celtic folky sounds and tropical celebrations.
11. Anoraknophobia (2001). A decent album, a bit long winded but a progression over 1999’s marillion.com
10. Sounds That Can’t Be Made (2012). I think Marillion really grabbed this album by the balls. It’s fearless.
9. Afraid of Sunlight (1996). This middle grouping of albums on the list are really so close it’s meaningless. It’s splitting hairs to put them in a meaningful order. Afraid of Sunlight scores high due to the excellent title track.
8. Brave (1994). This is where Marillion-with-Hogarth really came into their own. It is still one of the most ambitious Marillion albums and an emotional roller coaster of a concept record. There’s also a heavy 10 minute jam released as a B-side called “Marouette Jam” that necessitates buying of the remastered 2 CD edition.
7. Seasons End (1989). The most difficult album of a career is gonna be the first album with the new singer. By retaining their classic sound with a few new twists and a new charismatic frontman, Marillion successfully rode through the transition.
6. Radiation (1998). I love this noisy reject of an album. It’s brilliant.
5. Script For a Jester’s Tear (1983). Fish finally makes his first appearance on this list with the very first Marillion album. Genius poetry but complicated tunes make this one a jagged-edged favourite.
4. Marbles (2004). Marillion’s first double CD studio album, never wearing out its welcome. Like Brave, but grilled to perfection and with all the accouterments.
3. Fugazi (1984). Fugazi is not an easy album to get into, with a pugnaciously opaque second side. The first side is pure genius.
2. Misplaced Childhood (1985). The record company shit their pants when they heard that Marillion were doing a concept album for their third record. The band had written two 20+ minute pieces of music tentatively titled “side one” and “side two”. After honing it live, they unleashed Misplaced Childhood to the stunned masses.
1. Clutching At Straws (1987). It not difficult to put Clutching at Straws as #1. It is one of Marillion’s most beloved, and Fish’s favourite. The dark poetry and sharp songwriting makes it a timeless perennial favourite, never stale, and always revealing new facets to its personality. An utter classic.
Marillion have numerous live albums (I lost count but well over 50 or 60) and greatest hits with exclusive material to boot. Ranking those is all but meaningless. Having said that, one essential purchase for a serious Marillion fan is their first double live, The Thieving Magpie (1988). This epic contains a full performance of Misplaced Childhood, as well as non-album cuts like “Freaks”. Another great record to own is B’Sides Themselves (also 1988), containing some of Marillion’s most memorable B-sides. These include the 18 minute epic “Grendel”, and more concise classics such as “Tux On” and “Market Square Heroes”.
The Owner – Joe Flaherty (as Guy Caballero)
She Who Shall Not Be Named – Since Margaret Hamilton is dead, we will have to audition this role.
Annoying solicitors – Tom Cruise and John Travolta
and featuring Meat Loaf Aday as “LeBrain”
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