The Arkells are not slowing down! With last year’s surprise release of the unplanned acoustic album Laundry Pile, not to mention the two Blinkalbums, the band are back in 2024 with their first full covers album! Of note, this album includes Abba’s “Gimme Gimme Gimme (A Man After Midnight)”, previously only available on an iTunes EP. This is its first physical release.
Tracklist
01) Dancing On My Own
02) I Want You Back
03) You Make My Dreams
04) As It Was
05) Sledgehammer
06) Gimme! Gimme! Gimme!
07) 9 to 5
08) I Wanna Dance With Somebody
09) Dancing in the Dark
10) The Power Of Love
11) Dancing Queen
WHY DISCO LOADOUT?
A disco loadout is a term in our industry that describes a very humbling act. Many bands have experienced this, and we certainly have. Sometimes when you’re on tour you might pull up to a venue to find there is a later show happening the same night. The promoter, looking at his spreadsheet, has decided that it makes financial sense to book two separate shows on the same night. Your band is playing the early show, and when you are finished, you must load your gear down the stairs and out the door while a lineup of people waits to get into the venue for the next show. The later show is usually a cover band, performing songs that everyone knows and likes.
We have been humbled by this in the past and instead of living with the embarrassment, we have performed and recorded those songs for you. We’re taking the term back.
Disco Loadout Vol 1. Songs Arkells like to play when we need to party like it’s a late show.
This has been a weird year. Comforting, nostalgic sounds in the age of Covid have dominated at LeBrain HQ. There are two Kiss albums that have been absolute joys this summer for blowing the blues away. They have been Dressed to Kill, and Unmasked. Originally rated 2.5/5 stars, I was definitely wrong on Unmasked. The band may have disowned it, and it might not be hard rock, but reviewing it is not as “Easy As It Seems”. This album definitely has “Two Side of the Coin”. It might not be “What Makes the World Go ‘Round” but this summer, I just want to say one thing to Kiss Unmasked: “You’re All That I Want”.
One reason I may have judged Unmasked harshly before is that first impressions are strongest. In a case of Classical Conditioning, my first impression was not good. In fact, for the first two years of hearing Unmasked, my copy was all but unlistenable. In the beginning, I taped my first Kiss albums from next door neighbour George. He fancied himself a bass player. While he was recording Unmasked for me, I sat in his bedroom while he played bass along to it. Every song. Unbeknownst to him, his bass bled onto my tape. Every time I played the album, it was like a remix with George overdubbed on bass, and I had the only copy. Sometimes he continued playing well after the fade, other times he came in prematurely. Either way, my first two formative years with this album were awful. Even after buying a proper copy on cassette, I couldn’t hear the album without the auditory illusion of George’s bass ringing in my skull. Though not the only factor, that had to be one of several reasons for my dislike of the album. A dislike which in no longer: in 2020, it’s love. Just a fun anecdote to colour in some history, nothing more.
“Is That You?” asks Paul Stanley on the opener, a Gerard McMahon song that boasts grinding verses and a killer chorus. Piano tinkles quietly in the background, but the guitars are nice and rich, especially Paul’s solo. His lead vocals absolutely rip, while a sultry Gene sings the backgrounds.
A second Paul vocal follows, and it’s the big hit “Shandi”. Listening with 20/20 hindsight in the year 2020, it’s amusing to ponder how anybody thought this was Peter Criss on drums. It was a secret that Anton Fig played on Unmasked and Dynasty, but it’s really obviously not Peter Criss. That disco groove is too impeccably perfect to be the Catman. Paul is, in fact, the only Kiss member to play on “Shandi”. And while this song is a softie, it ain’t a baddie. It’s clear that Kiss were not the rag-tag rock and roll beast they once were. They had evolved. Temporarily, at least.
If the first two tracks were light on Ace Frehley, that’s not indicative of the album. Three lead vocals for the Spaceman this time, including the single “Talk To Me”. Shiny and chromed-up, Frehley’s songs are among the best on Unmasked and “Talk To Me” could be the top track.
I always had problems with “Naked City”, but part of that might be that I can still hear George come in early on the bass. Gene Simmons makes his album vocal debut here, and while the chorus and riff are still not top-notch, the verses are excellent. Songs like this also demonstrate that Gene is an underrated singer. He’s more versatile than people realize.
Paul strikes a cool riff on “What Makes the World Go ‘Round”. He often talks about how the album had good songs, but they should have sounded different. This one sounds like it could have turned out more like the first three albums. You can imagine how the riff would have been more prominent. As it is though, it’s one of the most unabashedly catchy songs Paul’s ever written, and his guitar solo is simply delicious. You can slag Paul for doing something so pop, but can you slag him for doing it so well?
Side B’s opener is “Tomorrow”, with Paul’s vocals cleanly produced as per the pop trends of the day, with slapback delay and airy EQ. But like “What Makes the World Go ‘Round”, this is pop rock done really well. The keyboards are too prominent, but at least Ace gets a tasty solo here. As Kiss songs got catchier, so did the Spaceman’s solos. Frehley’s next lead vocal follows on “Two Sides of the Coin”, the song title which inspired a podcast (“Three Sides of the Coin“). Y’see, Ace just can’t pick a girl! But he has to. “Two sides of the coin to choose from, I’m getting weary. Which one should I choose? I need time.” He insists that the girls don’t mind, but I question that assertion. But he has to pick a mate because he’s “tired of all those dates”! Silly words aside, Ace has knocked out two top-notch songs on Unmasked so far.
Gene’s back on “She’s So European”, a song about a girl with a French accent who drinks pink champagne. I’ve softed my stance on this one too. You can certainly hear the rock n’ roll riffiness that it could have been. That’s been replaced by keyboards and slick beats, and it’s fine. “Easy As It Seems”, a Paul song, really sneaks up on you. It disappears into the fabric of the album until one day you just can’t get it out of your heard. Paul lays down another fine solo, and weaves a plaintive tapestry with his incredible voice. What range he had.
An album highlight is the third and final Frehley concoction — a weird little number called “Torpedo Girl”. Surf rock meets the Space Ace. The guitar lick is a tricky little off-beat riff, but with Anton Fig behind on drums, Kiss could do complex stuff like this. Especially since that’s Ace playing the bouncy bass part too. It’s also one of Frehley’s most entertaining lyrics. A submarine with a pretty girl on the bridge has surfaced in the bay! Better go check it out.
The final track, “You’re All That I Want” is a Gene number. Like “Easy As It Seems”, one day it just catches you. Especially Paul’s “answer” vocals in the outro. One thing (among many) that made Kiss truly special is the multiple lead singers. And unless you’re a Catman diehard, you don’t really miss Peter in that mix. Frehley more than made up for the lack of Criss. While four singers is better than three, remember that Kiss only had three lead singers for their first five studio albums.
I don’t want to have to three-view the entire Kiss catalogue but it is amazing how Unmasked just opened up to me this summer. I’m enjoying more than ever, with that nostalgic glow for days gone by. The “good old days” were not always good, but at least the music was.
“I think Unmasked is a pretty crappy album. It’s wimpy” – Paul Stanley, KISS Behind the Mask
Here we are at Unmasked, the very album that inspired the Kiss Re-Review series in the first place. It’s a polarizing platter. The band often trash it and shun it in concert. Meanwhile, some fans have grown to appreciate it, particularly in Europe and Australia. There is even a tribute CD on a German label with covers of the entire album. Indeed, Unmasked is not without strengths. Ace Frehley contributed another three songs of his own, continuing the growth he demonstrated on his solo album and Dynasty.
On the other side of the ledger, there were factors that fans see as a diluting of the Kiss sound. Co-writers were now the norm. Returning producer Vini Poncia had eight co-writes. They used a track by songwriter Gerard McMahon. Even ghost guitarist Bob Kulick had a co-write on Gene’s “Naked City”. Most importantly, but publicly unknown at the time, was that Kiss had effectively become a trio. Peter Criss’ substance issues had come to a head and he was not involved with the album at all. He was on the cover, and in the credits, but all Peter did was mime some drums for the “Shandi” music video. When that shoot was done, Peter was gone. Anton Fig (Dynasty, Ace Frehley) returned again to fill the gap behind the scenes.
The album demonstrated a slick turn towards pop rock. Not disco so much, although the compression on the drums and guitars gives it a disco sound. The keyboards and slick production sweetened the album to the point that the thunder of Alive! or Love Gun was completely absent. Kiss were becoming caricatures in pursuit of megahits.
The Gerard McMahon song “Is That You?” was selected to open Unmasked. This sexy grind is one of the best tracks, with Paul in peak voice showing off what he can do. The slow and dirty pop rock number gets the job done, with minimal loss of integrity. That’s Paul on lead guitar too, one of several songs on which he solos, though it is hard to tell. In fact Unmasked is one of those Kiss albums on which you can’t be sure who played what.
Only one Kiss member appears on the big single, “Shandi”, and that’s Paul Stanley. On bass was Tom Harper, and Holly Knight on keyboards. There is little doubt that “Shandi” is a fantastic song, and it worked particularly well live in the acoustic setting. While Unmasked blurred the lines between rock and pop, “Shandi” is pure pop joy — almost adult contemporary!
Frehley’s first track was a favourite called “Talk to Me”, a song many Kiss fans easily embraced. These first three songs were performed on the Unmasked tour, which demonstrates their worth. “Talk to Me” has a cool guitar riff and one of Ace’s most infectious choruses – an instant classic. Ace had really grown as a singer by this point.
The waters get murkier after the first three tracks. Gene’s “Naked City” is a grower. It possesses hooks and great verses, but the main guitar riff doesn’t hit the spot. Gene’s falsetto voice is employed to great effect. It takes a few spins, but “Naked City” has a cool darkness to it and a strange kind of class. That is followed by the very pop “What Makes the World Go ‘Round”, a keyboard-heavy Paul Stanley tune. It sounds very little like Kiss, but Paul’s performance (guitar solo included) is stellar. Falsetto must have been very popular at the time. Bee Gees, anyone?
Paul’s side two opener “Tomorrow” is just as pop as “What Makes the World Go ‘Round”. These would be great songs for somebody else’s album. Perhaps Rick Astley. Fortunately the side is quickly redeemed by Ace’s excellent “Two Sides of the Coin”. Notably, this song inspired the title of Michael Brandvold’s Kiss podcast, “Three Sides of the Coin“. Ace’s track is a fan favourite, upbeat and melodic with just enough guitar bite. If the production was meatier, as on Ace’s solo album, it would be an absolute killer.
Gene continues chasing the ladies on “She’s So European”, a filler track with familiar themes. “She makes love on a brass bed, because her parents are still awake.” Not Gene’s finest moment. “Easy As It Seems” is a Paul track, and also not one of his finest, but the bouncy bass (by Paul) is quite great. But is that a bloody keyboard solo that I detect?
One of the most interesting tracks, and most instrumentally impressive, is Ace’s surf rock classic “Torpedo Girl”. This is just a fun summertime track with infectious ooh-ahh vocal hooks. His role within Kiss resulted in some of their more unique songs, and “Torpedo Girl” is unorthodox. Ace’s picking is enviable, and the lyrics are just pure fun. “Come on, get your feet wet.”
Album closer “You’re All That I Want” is one of Gene’s tunes, but Paul’s vocals on the outro sell it. It’s a little on the light side, as is much of Unmasked, but it remains a good song.
On a personal note, I have one very strong memory of Unmasked. I first heard it by taping it off a friend, my late neighbor George. George dropped the needle on the record, hit record on my tape, and then got out his bass and played bass along to every song. Unbeknownst to him, his bass playing bled onto the tape. From that point until I finally got a store-bought cassette copy, I always heard George’s bass on the fade-outs of every song. I can still hear it in my head. I suppose that’s one way that George is still alive, in my memory.
Unmasked was released on May 20, 1980, with a bright cartoony cover including Peter Criss. Meanwhile the band were already preparing for their first of many lineup changes, something that was kept quiet until the right moment.
In July, Kiss were ready to unveil the new member. Paul Caravello, from Brooklyn, impressed Kiss with his audition and humble personality. The story that everybody remembers is that Caravello asked the guys for their autographs in case he never saw them again. No worries there; the job was destined to be his. But Kiss couldn’t have another guy named Paul, and his last name was too “ethnic” (obviously Italian), so his name was changed to Eric Carr. (Fortunately, Gene’s suggestion of “Rusty Blades” was discarded.) The newly dubbed Eric was an energetic mighty-mite of rock, and the band quickly grew to love him. Everything was new to him.
“The Hawk”
A new makeup design was required. This was a big deal — a new challenge. A hawk concept was tried, but in the costume Carr looked more like Big Bird than a rock star. He drew up an inspired fox design which immediately clicked. The new character was born!
Carr’s first appearance with the band was at their only US date on this tour: New York on July 25 1980. The rest of the tour took place in Europe and Australia where “Shandi” became a hit. There were only 41 shows in total. Despite their best efforts, Kiss’ fortunes were shifting. Opening acts on the tour included Iron Maiden, which must have been quite the mismatch. Given Maiden’s reputation for blowing away headliners (much like Kiss when they started out), you must wonder how this went down. Girl, featuring future Def Leppard guitarist Phil Collen and future L.A. Guns singer Phil Lewis, also opened a handful of gigs.
Unfortunately for fans, especially in North America, this was the last tour for a long time. It was also the only tour featuring this lineup. While Kiss had endured their first lineup change, that was only just the beginning of the problems to solve.
Today’s rating:
3.5/5 stars
Uncle Meat’s rating:
4.5/5 steaks
Meat’s slice:Unmasked was released in May of 1980. A couple of months later I had heard that Kiss was going to introduce their new drummer on a show called Kids Are People Too. Seeing Kiss in the Phantom movie on TV was one thing. But knowing they were being interviewed, and introducing their newest member…Eric “The Fox” Carr. I watch it today on YouTube, and it’s so…umm…not what I remember. But it was monumental at the time for me. At this point, I had heard Unmasked once at a friend’s place and was underwhelmed. But I loved the album cover and still think it is probably their best. My take on Unmasked is much different now, and was how LeBrain’s Re-Reviews started in the first place. First of all I will address this. Mike referred in the beginning of this series to the two “Disco” era Kiss albums of Dynasty and Unmasked. Dynasty has one Disco song. Unmasked does not have anything close to a Disco song. Some would say “Shandi”, but that is Kiss capitalizing on the Soft Rock success of the day. Unmasked may not be a typical Kiss album, but thanks to Vini Poncia it’s a great album of Rock tunes and one of my favorite Kiss albums.
The drumming on this album is a major high point. Anton Fig shines all over this disc. Ace also continues his consistent roll with great rock songs like “Talk To Me”. He has such a great Rock and Roll voice. The background vocals are great too. “Two Sides of the Coin” is another song with incredible drumming, and a single writing credit. Both this song and “Talk To Me” are the only two songs on the album that don’t have an outside writing credit. Subsequently these songs sound more like classic Kiss than the rest of the album. However “Torpedo Girl” is another story. This might be the shining moment of Ace’s career in Meat’s opinion. Unbelievable guitar riff and funky drum beat. I have had it in my head for days now.
It seems that the addition of Vini Poncia to the Kiss machine inspired Gene Simmons as well. Unlike Dynasty where his songs were mostly forgettable, a couple of his songs on this album shine here. “She’s So European” is “completely ridiculous” but a “great fucking tune” (according to my longtime Kiss-mate Scott) . That about says it all. “Naked City” sees the falsetto of Gene Simmons on display here in another catchy song. There are great hooks within this song, which is indicative of the whole album really. However the album closer, “You’re All That I Want” might be the weakest track on the album. I do though love the ending, which you hear Stanley screaming in his typical live-show style.
Paul Stanley’s contributions on this album are good as well, with a few curveballs thrown in. “Shandi” was a massive Australian hit, and even though the song is about as limp as it can be, I still love the song. Reminds me of the Little River Band and Ambrosia songs of the Soft Rock era that I still dig. “What Makes the World Go ‘Round” is a solid song, with some of the greatest solo guitar playing Paul Stanley has put to record. “Tomorrow” sounds a lot like .38 Special to me and is just OK. “Easy As it Seems” is a solid song that incorporates keyboards in an interesting way, and might be the best Stanley song on Unmasked.
Overall Unmasked is a misunderstood, understated classic. I am curious to see if time has changed LeBrain’s take on this album. All I can say is…this may be Kiss’s last truly great album. From here on in, the “Meat’s Slice” section will start to get a lot shorter, with a couple exceptions.
Favorite Tracks: “Torpedo Girl”, “Shandi”, “Is That You”, “Talk To Me”, “She’s so European”
Forgettable Tracks: “You’re All That I Want”, “Tomorrow” (both borderline)
– Dynasty (1979 Casablanca, 1997 Polygram Japan remaster)
“The Return of Kiss”. It sounds quaint today, that after a two year absence they called it “The Return of Kiss”. Two years today means nothing. But for Kiss, who were doing two releases a year, it did actually mean something. Their last project was their series of four solo albums, one for each member, and unified by cover art. This project only reinforced the idea that the whole is greater than the sum of its parts.
The truth is, the original Kiss were already over. Peter Criss returned from his solo album and a car accident as a changed man, and not in a good way. Upon walking in the door he insisted upon seeing sheet music for the new tunes. That was a first. It was quickly apparent that Peter was not in a condition to perform. The band had even hired his solo album producer, Vini Poncia, to helm the new Kiss. Poncia deemed Criss’ current abilities inadequate and he was replaced for the album by Anton Fig. Anton was Ace’s solo drummer, and more than capable of filling in. Previously, when Bob Kulick was hired to replace Ace on side four of Alive II, he was instructed to “play like Ace”. Anton Fig was given no such instruction and was free to drum as he pleased. Some Kiss fans were able to pick up on that. Ultimately Peter Criss played drums on only one song, his own called “Dirty Livin’”. And that would be Peter’s final appearance on a Kiss studio album until 1998’s Psycho-Circus, on which he also played drums on only one track. Kiss was indeed broken, but few on the outside knew it. Peter would never play on a whole Kiss album again.
A lot had changed. Kiss’ massive marketing campaigns paid off, but was that a good thing? Little kids were now coming to Kiss concerts. Paul Stanley was actively seeking hits. Together with new songwriting friend Desmond Child, Paul wanted to write a dance single. Inspired by the clubs of New York, the pair produced “I Was Made For Lovin’ You”, the song that gave Kiss the “disco” tag. The single sold a million copies. Needless to say, it was not the last Kiss single written with Desmond Child.
The album went platinum and became the hit it was designed to be. Inside the sleeve, the music was streamlined and more commercial than before. “I Was Made For Lovin’ You” led the way, demolishing the walls between dance and rock. Frehley had a hot solo in the mix, and the bouncy bass was performed by Paul Stanley. The song had all the right ingredients and though thin sounding by today’s standards, it’s still a great little dance rock number.
The real revelation about Dynasty wasn’t the turn towards slicker, highly compressed recordings. It was Ace Frehley coming out of his shell. Newly confident after his hit solo experience, Frehley had three songs to sing on Dynasty. Ace covered the Stones on “2000 Man”, a version that may be more beloved than the original. It certainly sounds at home. Ace rocks it up significantly. Ace also had lead vocals on “Hard Times”, a track about growing up as an aimless youth in New York. “We’d go to school, then we’d cut out, go to the park, and space our heads out.” “Hard Times” is not an exceptional song, but it’s interesting since it’s so autobiographical. Ace’s last song was the more aggressive “Save Your Love”. This track closes Dynasty with the kind of rock that people often forget is on the album. Ace’s tracks are the only ones that can be classified purely as “rock”. He has more guitar riffage on “Save Your Love” than the other songs combined. Without the Space Ace, Dynasty would have been a much weaker album.
The increase in Ace’s participation was balanced by a decrease in that of Gene Simmons. Gene only had two songs on the album, neither of which were singles. “X-Ray Eyes” and “Charisma” inhabit the same kind of compressed audio landscape as the rest. “Charisma” is the best, due to its unusual echoey vocals, fitting for the demon persona. Gene’s prime interest was still the opposite sex, and both songs have the demon’s stamp. The main hooks on both are delivered by the backing vocals during the choruses.
The dominant force on Dynasty — and as it turns out, for the coming decade – was Paul Stanley. Not only was “I Was Made for Loving You” a massive hit, but the second single “Sure Know Something” was also one of his. Paul wrote this dancey ballad with producer Vini Poncia. It’s not all simply dance floor moves though, as the chorus has the power chords and lung power that Kiss fans expected. Stanley also wrote “Magic Touch”, a lesser known album classic. “Magic Touch” burns slow, but hot. Paul’s falsetto was a sign of the times, but the power chords explode on the chorus.
And that leaves poor Peter. “Dirty Livin’” was written with Stan Penridge and Vini Poncia, and it was written as something more R&B in direction. It was Kiss-afied and included on the album as Peter’s only appearance. You can hear that it’s not the same drummer and that it’s a very different vibe.
For all outside appearances, Kiss maintained an image of solidarity. There was no mention of a session drummer, and Peter was there on tour for all 82 shows. However there were some cracks visible. Several shows had to be cancelled for poor ticket sales, in areas such as New York City and Pontiac Michigan. With the toys, comics and merchandise, Kiss were beginning to be seen as a kids’ band. Dynasty was the hit it needed to be, but the situation was not sustainable.
Today’s rating:
4/5 stars
Uncle Meat’s rating:
4/5 steaks
Meat’s slice: The first of the two supposed “Disco Era” Kiss records LeBrain referred to in the introduction of this series, Dynasty really just is a pretty solid rock and roll record other than the mega-hit, “I Was Made For Lovin’ You”. There really is not another song on the record that could be classified as Disco. But more on that when I talk about Unmasked.
This album sees the beginning of a couple new eras in Kisstory. The first being the band’s writing collaboration with Desmond Child. “I Was Made For Lovin’ You” was the first hit of many for Desmond Child. He has “songwriter” credits (and yes I am using that term loosely) on such deplorable pap as “Livin’ La Vida Loca”, “She Bangs”, and upcoming Kiss dung like “Let’s Put the X in Sex” and “Uh! All Night”. Basically when a band gets shittier, they go to Desmond Child. When Ratt got shittier, in came Desmond. When the Scorpions got shittier, he pops up again. When Aerosmith started becoming a glossy joke, here comes Desmond Child and “Dude (Looks Like a Lady)”. Yes, as good as this album is, Kiss was starting to get shittier.
As George Costanza would say, worlds collide for me on this album. For years I had no idea Peter Criss only played drums on his own song on Dynasty. His phantom replacement turned out to be Mr. Anton Fig, who played drums in one of my favorite bands ever, Paul Shaffer and the World’s Most Dangerous Band. Even Anton’s dry humor on the show was a high point in Late Night with David Letterman for me. I am a true Letterman head and always will be. Anton Fig went on to be Ace’s drummer in Frehley’s Comet, so maybe Fig’s presence somehow inspired the Space man, since he is a high point of Dynasty. The Rolling Stones cover “2000 Man” is a fucking great tune. “Hard Times” is just as good and a personal favorite of many Kiss fans.
There are a few weaker-ish songs on the album but nothing egregious here. Very good rock album with ONE disco song. Thank you Desmond Child for injecting Kiss with your “Bad Medicine”. (Yes, he wrote that too. As well as writing songs for such wonderful artists like Hanson, The Jonas Brothers, Lindsay Lohan and Clay Aiken.) Hey Desmond…in the words of Ricky…you are truly a FuckGoof.
RECORD STORE TALES MkII: Getting More Tale Report: Aux 33 Tours in Montréal
My sister, bass clarinetist Kathryn Ladano, just completed the east coast leg of her Canadian tour last month. This was followed by a western leg, but while returning home from the east there was a stop in Montréal. Kathryn is a collector too, though not to the extent that I am. She doesn’t need the physical musical media in her daily life like I do. She still collects some of her favourite bands, and has recently started buying vinyl. While in Montréal, she visited a record store called Aux 33 Tours, located at 1373 Mont-Royal Est. According to their website, it is the largest record store in the city. She emailed me the following day, May 27, raving about the store. I’ll let her take it from here! Enjoy the pictures.
I found the most amazing record store in Montréal yesterday! I found almost all The Spoons’ albums on LP, including ones that aren’t available on CD. I also found a promo live album by them that didn’t have a proper cover because it wasn’t supposed to be sold. They were all dirt cheap – like $2 – $7. One of them was autographed and personalized “To Martin”! [Fortuitously, her husband is also named Martin!] I also got Kid A on record. Kid A and Sgt. Peppers are reissues with heavy packaging. They had an original Sgt Peppers, but the reissue was cheaper, so I got that.
I spent about $140. Which I think is good for that many albums! Note: the Simon and Garfunkel and Gord Downie ones are Martin’s.
I’d also like to point out how rare that Bryan Adams single is. He really tried to bury that song! Watch the video, you’ll hear why. (They sped up his voice which gives him a Chipmunks sound.)
And finally, gratuitous photos of Schnauzers and Starfleet collars:
RECORD STORE TALES Part 276: Character Study – HH and Rasputin
HH (aka “Hobbit”) and Rasputin were regulars. They came to T-Rev’s store first, always selling, never buying. HH was known for her outrageous makeup. Usually the lipstick started somewhere below the nose and went down to the chin. Trevor used to say, “She looks like that woman from David Lee Roth’s ‘Just A Gigolo’ video! Remember her?”
“DAVID! DAVID! MY KIDS WILL DEFINITELY KILL ME IF YOU DON’T SIGN THESE PICTURES FOR THEM!”
That’s kind of how she looked. Very close. In the summer, HH wore these short skirts that were just way too little clothing. T-Rev had to deal with her more often than I did. I don’t know how he didn’t claw his own eyes out. T-Rev tells me that once, HH pulled up to his store riding a little banana seat bike, wearing that short skirt. He remembers her so clearly. “Yeah! The ‘hobbit’, the ripped nylons and the short skirt with her ass hanging out…yuck. She looked like she had a Botox stroke in her face!” he says.
Rasputin, unsurprisingly, looked a lot like Grigori Rasputin, the famous “mad monk” of Russian history. All he lacked was the long hair. His long trench coat even remotely resembled Rasputin’s long monk robes. T-Rev nicknamed him Rasputin, or Razzy for short. He had a lazy eye.
They would come in, selling crappy scratched used CDs. HH would often say she was selling them for her son. That meant she had procreated, a scary thought in itself. She never specifically identified Razzy as the father, but that certainly could have been the case. Razzy never spoke. When we would make an offer on the CDs, HH would turn to Razzy. Razzy would either nod yes, or shake his head no. Then they’d try to haggle. Their CDs were rarely worth haggling over. But haggle they did. According to Trevor, “I remember her always haggling for a better price out of me…like ‘this CD is really popular right now with the kids’. Fuck you!”
Those summers of HH and Razzy are long gone, now. I wonder if Razzy ever shaved off that black beard. I wonder if she’s still riding that bike in her skirt. I may never know…I don’t really want to know.
One can indeed judge a book by its cover. David Lee Roth is hands-on with every aspect of his product, be it a photo shoot, a recording session, or an interview. He must have known his Diamond Dave album was crap, so he made a terrible cover to match it. Check out the tan, that wig and them pants! (Also notice: furry walls!)
This album, following up another aborted Van Halen reunion and the surprisingly powerful album DLR Band, switches gears and shows Dave’s “multi-faceted side”. Sure, we all know Dave likes disco, jazz, blues, showtunes, and standards. It’s Dave doing what he did very successfully on Crazy From the Heat, and trying to do so again. To make an album of this stuff would be fine, but Diamond Dave lacks any sort of zap. At all. It’s just one “who cares” cover after another, a couple crappy originals, and a Van Halen tune.
Dave’s voice just doesn’t generate the heat it once did, and all of Diamond Dave suffers for it. The way Van Halen did A Different Kind of Truth used a lot of production on Dave. Here, Roth is a whimper, a wheeze, a breathless gasp at the greatness that once was. To listen to this album in one sitting is an exersize in stamina. I know because I’ve done it.
Positives: Instrumental moments on the Steve Miller cover “Shoo Bop”. The ace rhythm section of LoMenzo and Luzier are complimented by a guitarist named Brian Young who is shit-hot on this. Then Dave goes all dance-y on it…ugh. “She’s Looking Good” is old-school and well done.
The indigestible: The Doors’ “Soul Kitchen”. Nobody needs to cover the Doors; Dave makes them sound like Smash Mouth. Hendrix’ “If 6 Was 9” has too much of Dave’s boring talking voice, but not enough crooning. His cover of the otherwise excellent Beatles number “Tomorrow Never Knows” (which he actually had the audicity to rename “That Beatles Tune”!?) sucks all the life and innovation out of a great song, as he wheezes to the finish line. This is by far the worst song, even though he also covers “Let It All Hang Out”.
There is only one number here worth owning, which is his Las Vegas version of “Ice Cream Man”. He did this shortly after Your Filthy Little Mouth with Edgar Winter, Omar Hakim, Greg Phillinganes, and Nile Rodgers! According to Dave’s autobiography Crazy From the Heat, this was recorded in a live in a video shoot. The video was never released, but the audio finally was. It lives up to the hype if not the wait.
Decide what you are willing to pay for one or two songs, and buy accordingly.
WATCHMEN : The Ultimate Cut – The Complete Story (2009 Warner 4 disc blu-ray set)
Directed by Zack Snyder, 216 minutes
What’s the greatest comic book movie of all time? I’ve seen a lot of them. There’s quite a few I haven’t seen as well, but it’s a great topic for discussion. I always have to put Watchmen on the table when discussing great comic book adaptations.
Watchmen is a complex tale. Its original comic was ambitious, containing page after page of dense backstory information in the form of documents and faux-magazine articles, all very relevant. There’s even a parallel story taking place, a comic within a comic, which directly reflects one (or arguably more) of the characters in the main story. Characters and their psychology are key. In addition, neither the comic nor the movie are linear. The story unfolds within different time periods, flashing back and forth, as we learn more about the characters, their motivations, and the world they inhabit.
It is the world they inhabit that was the hook for me. I’m a sucker for alternate universe stories. Here’s one that sets us on Earth, 1985, but things have unfolded very differently. The influence of various superheroes/vigilantes has caused history to unfold very differently. Specifically, it is the presence of Dr. Manhattan, who puts a swift and decisive end to the Vietnam war, who influences history the most. In this 1985, Richard Nixon is still president, and masked vigilantes are now outlawed.
The Watchmen are a group of such vigilantes, originally known as the Minutemen. Some, such as Dr. Manhattan truly are superhuman. Others, such as Nite Owl and his successor Nite Owl II, are mere mortals with high-tech gadgetry and skill as their allies. All have retired, some in fame and some in anonymity…all but one. Rorschach. He remains active, alone and wanted.
The movie begins as a murder mystery. Someone has managed to identify and kill Edward Blake — The Comedian, once one of the most dangerous heroes alive. To overpower and murder Blake would require an individual of tremendous resources. Who? And are other former vigilantes also at risk? Rorschach seems to be the only one who wants to know.
Being a fan of the graphic novel, I was very happy with the way that Zack Snyder captured Watchmen. It was done with love and care. The things that are discarded, I didn’t miss so much. The things that he changed, I understand why it was done. There’s one layer to the story/mystery that has been discarded, probably to keep this thing under 4 hours! The things that are reverently exactly the same as the comic made my jaw drop in awe. The acting performances are what they are, but I have to give special mention to Jackie Earl Haley as Rorschach.
The soundtrack is one of the best in recent memory. Outside of Wes Anderson, I haven’t loved a soundtrack this much in a long time. It’s awesome from the stunning Bob Dylan classic “The Times They Are A’Changing”, to Nat King Cole, to Simon and Garfunkel, Hendrix and Philip Glass, and probably the weirdest use of Leonard Cohen’s “Hallelujah” in movie history. The soundtrack is where it’s at. The movie even contains a Village People sighting! I’ll skip My Chemical Romance.
This Ultimate Cut weaves the comic-within-a-comic, Tales Of The Black Freighter, previously only available on its own, into the main body of Watchmen. These segments are narrated by Gerard Butler. New live action linking sequences connect the movie to Black Freighter, much like it worked in the graphic novel. People who haven’t read the graphic novel might not understand what “Black Freighter” is doing there, but they should probably start with the less daunting theatrical cut to start with anyway.
The box set includes four discs, beautifully packaged. Hardly a complaint to be registered. The box is heavy and sturdy. Included is Watchmen: The Motion Comic, packed in its own case, 5 hours long on its own. One disc is the expired digital copy of the theatrical cut (whoop de do) and another disc is loaded with special features. Best of these is Under The Hood, which is based on the graphic novel segments covering Holis Mason. Mason, the original Nite Owl I, wrote an autobiography called Under the Hood; this film is a faux-documentary on his story. It is presented as a television program from 1975 re-run in 1985, including commercials and scratchy footage. At 35 minutes, this is an absolute must. Other special features include brand new audio commentaries, for those who dare to keep going deeper. This set is just loaded. Unfortunately I found the sound level inconsistent, I had to turn it up and down frequently.
Having said that, I’m not going to discard my Director’s Cut of Watchmen. Clocking in at almost four hours, watching this version is a commitment. I know that occasionally, I will want to watch the “shorter” version of the film. Since a digital copy of the theatrical (shortest) cut is included here, maybe you won’t feel the need to double-up on Watchmen editions. For an enriched viewing experience, set aside the four hours one afternoon and enjoy.
November/December 1995 was freakin’ busy. We sold a lot of discs that Christmas. What we didn’t do was listen to a lot of discs! No; our boss really, really liked Don Henley and TLC. He played them ad-nauseum. Like on repeat three times in a row. I’m not kidding about that. I distinctly remember the repeat. Here are the Top Three Discs I Had to Listen to Until My Ears Bled, December 1995.
3. Boney M – Christmas Album
2. Don Henley – Actual Miles
1. TLC – CrazySexyCool
Trevor on the other hand was introducing me to Oasis and managed to get a few cool discs into rotation:
3. The Beatles – Anthology Vol. 1 (usually just disc 2)
2. Foo Fighters – Foo Fighters
1. Oasis – (What’s the Story) Morning Glory?
We were also working with this new guy, Donnie, and we let him pick Dance Mix ’95 a few times. Unfortunately, the Big Shiny Tunes series hadn’t begun yet.
I didn’t get to pick as many discs as the others — the boss didn’t like my picks. When I did, I chose the new Def Leppard – Vault (Greatest Hits 1980-1995).
Looking back, there were also a few albums that I found utterly disappointing that season. They included:
3. AC/DC – Ballbreaker
2. Lenny Kravitz – Circus
1. Savatage – Dead Winter Dead
All three were albums that I was solidly looking forward to, but largely disappointed me. I never did buy Circus. I own the other two, but only because I’m a completest (and I got AC/DC for $3).
Finally there were three albums that really got me through that season. I had just been dumped by my first serious girlfriend and I was really angry about it. Away from work (my boss didn’t want these ones played in the store) these three albums totally spoke to me that Christmas:
3. Alice in Chains – Alice in Chains
2. Ozzy Osbourne – Ozzmosis
1. Iron Maiden – The X Factor
Let me tell you something people: I still fuckin’ hate TLC. I’ll never go chasin’ waterfalls, ever again.
Blank discs are so cheap, and musical tastes so fleeting today, that I wonder if anybody but me still has the first mix CD they ever burned?
I’m hoping some of you have, and I’m hoping to hear it about from you too. My first disc was made in early 2001 when we got our first burner. It was made for a very specific purpose.
At the store, there was an informal rule that if you were closing one day and opening the next, it was “OK” to borrow a movie overnight, watch and return it. So if that was true for movies, why not a CD? Why not a dozen? A few nights after having the CD burner installed, I borrowed a bag full of discs and burned this compilation on a Maxell CD-R 650. 74 minutes! Up to 16x certified!
I returned the discs the next day, all albums that I wanted one or two songs from, but not the whole album. Many were soundtracks and tribute albums. I ended up buying The Strokes’ album a few weeks later, an ill-advised purchase that yielded only two or three listens. I don’t have that one anymore. But I still have my mix CD with “Last Nite”!
The Robbie Williams + Queen track is taken from the soundtrack to A Knight’s Tale. I shall maintain the anonymity of the store employee who had the crush on Heath Ledger and inundated us with this soundtrack. The same disc also yielded “I Want to Take You Higher” by Sly and the Family Stone.
Track 3 is an industrial-rock hybrid tune called “Violent New Breed”. I later purchased the Violent New Breed album by Shotgun Messiah. Industrial rock fans will know that Messiah’s original bassist/singer was Tim Tim, aka Tim Sköld of KMFDM, Marilyn Manson, and his eponymous band. I liked the title track enough to later buy the album and the prior one too. Both were keepers.
I’ve been a Goo Goo Dolls fan for a while so I thought I would grab their INXS cover “Don’t Change” from an Ace Ventura soundtrack. Their cover of “Bitch” came from the 1993 No Alternative compilation album.
Apparently I was on a Warrior Soul kick at that time as well. Shame that there isn’t a great Warrior Soul compilation album that suits all my needs. I bought and sold their studio albums. As for Michael Jackson, I later decided to add a single disc compilation to my collection, offsetting my burning of “Billie Jean”.
This being a real odds n’ ends disc, it’s not a spellbinding listen today. It’s fun to remind myself of some oddball tracks that I liked enough to burn but not enough to buy. I’m also amused by the title Mix One, the first of many! And I was even doing cover art back then, too. On the cover is myself dressed up as the alien from Part 148: Navigate the Seas of the Sun!
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