Sunday Chuckle

Sunday Scary!

I hope you had a great Halloween.  Did you have good fright?  If not, check out that picture.  I was leaving my office one day and this snow man was just…standing there…in a doorway.  Chilling!

 

Sunday Un-funny?

This Sunday Chuckle comes courtesy of one of my neighbours in this building.  I think he’s the annoying guy who lets his dog run loose in leashed areas, but I’m not sure.  You can be the judge if his joke is chuckle-worthy.

I was taking out my garbage last weekend, and I was wearing my mask because legally in Ontario, masks are mandatory inside common areas of condos.  I exited the building on my way to the dumpster and I passed by the neighbour guy.

The neighbour raised his hands in the air like he was being robbed, looked at me and said, “Take the keys, you can have the car!”

I looked back at him puzzled and said “I’m sorry?”

“Because you’re the Masked Man!” he said, pointing out my mask and hat.

OK then!

Schnauzer Report Cards

Spring 2011, I found myself dogsitting.  There were three Schnauzers:  Lacey, Ani, Ali.  I am glad that I kept a record of that day.  Oh, the memories (and my eardrums)!  One of the pooches was so ill-behaved that I went to the trouble of writing up a report card for when their human-mommies came home.  I stuck it to the fridge so the doggies could be judged by everyone.

Incidentally the artwork at top was by a young Dr. Kathryn Ladano long before she was a Dr.  It is titled “The Rad Schnauzer”.

 

This Sunday Chuckle is brought to you by Samuel L. Jackson

I just think it’s cool that I have two Samuel L. Jackson figures in the same scale from the same toy company and from two of my favourite franchises.

The two figures are Marvel Legends’ Nick Fury (from Captain Marvel) and Star Wars The Black Series Mace Windu (Episode II and III).  They use this new digital facial scanning technology to get the faces eerily accurate.  Which do you think looks most like Jackson himself?

 

 

Sunday Chuckle: Things You Don’t See Every Day

I’m amused by things you don’t see every day.  This week I saw something I’ve never seen before in all my days.

You may have heard of this thing called the “Keto diet”.  I won’t get into details (not necessary) but it’s basically a low-carb diet that burns fat and happens to also be good for epilepsy.  Someone at work just started the Ketogenic thing.  Someone ordered a bucket of KFC chicken and she was in the kitchen taking a picture of it.

Intrigued by anything to do with KFC, I was curious and asked what was up.  She showed me the bucket’s contents.  Nothing but a sorry mix of bones and chicken skin.  All the skin, in fact — the best part of the chicken!  (In fact some KFC locations used to sell just the skin as a snack item.)  “It’s the carbs in the breading,” she explained.  I got it immediately, though not without pity.

At the same time it was a memorable moment for me.  I’ve never seen a KFC bucket with all the skin left behind before in my life.  And that’s why I chuckle!

Sunday Chuckle: Elephant Farts

My dad has a few favourite jokes.  Here’s an old one he told me when I was a kid.

“What’s the difference between a place you go to drink, and an elephant’s fart?”

“One’s called a bar room, and the other goes BAR-ROOOOOM!”

Sunday Chuckle: Toad in the Hole

My dad is legendary.  At the cottage, he likes to go “on patrol”.  These are just short walks.  His footwear of choice when going on these “patrols”?  Rubber boots.  Always.  Ever since I was a kid, he’s been patrolling in rubber galoshes.  It’s what he likes.

One time when we were younger, he put on his boots to go for a stroll.  He couldn’t quite fit his foot in there.  He didn’t know what was wrong but his toe wouldn’t go all the way to the end.  Damned if he knew what was wrong.  Until he took it off.

Evidence was that a frog had made that boot his home, and was alive until that point.

Despite this…unfortunate turn of events, my dad still loves his rubber boots and I can all but guarantee that he will have them on his feet at some point in the day today.

Love you dad!

Sunday Chuckle: Things Jen’s Mom Did to Make Me Smile

I’ll admit it, I’m a bit of a pest.  Sometimes when I’m out with Jen, I’ll sneakily reach over and tickle her while pretending I did nothing.  It drives her nuts, but it used to make her mom smile.  When I used to drive them around, Jen’s mom would sit in the back.  When I was stopped at a red light I’d sneak a tickle.  Jen would scold me and then her mom would say “Listen to Jen, Michael.”  Then I’d turn around and she’d wink at me and whisper “Do it again!”  So I would, and Jen wouldn’t believe me that her mom was encouraging me!

Jen’s mom was a special lady.  We only lost her two years ago, so I’m always happy to share those stories that make us smile.

 

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Sunday Chuckle: Microwave Cuisine

The steel mill where I work has been there for decades.  As we clean it nooks and crannies preparing for closure, we keep unearthing the funniest stuff.  One that that work places have to do is replace microwave ovens every few years.  I guess they used to package coobooks specific to the microwave with them many years ago.  From underneath who-knows-what, we excavated the two books seen below.  (The more recent of the two below was dated 1994, the other had no date.  Can you guess by the graphic design which is the book from 1994?)

I find them hilarious.  Microwave specific recipes!  I either a) just reheat stuff or n) follow the instructions on the box!  Mmmmmm!  Look at that…roll of something?  Salmon?  Looks like salmon.  Mmm, microwaved salmon.