Tomorrow: Polychuck’s back!

The LeBrain Train: 2000 Words or More with Mike Ladano and Tee Bone

Episode 106 – The Return of Polychuck

Polychuck has remained busy since I last spoke to him back in July of 2021.  Since that time he’s released the EP Shadows Remain, and his current single “Hero” featuring Derek Sherinian of Dream Theater on keyboards.  We can’t wait to talk to him about the song, its important meaning, and the band he has backing him on it.  This talented multi-instrumentalist has been creating a catalogue of songs that defy categorisation.  As if that wasn’t enough, he’s also a mixed martial artist!  Polychuck literally and figuratively kicks ass!

We always like to support Canadian talent, and Polychuck hails from beautiful Montreal, where he also teaches music.  Truly, the guy is inspiring and if you don’t know that already, you will this Saturday at noon on the Train.  Please join myself, Polychuck, and special co-host Tee Bone for this sure-to-be awesome episode.

Special Time!

SATURDAY April 23, 12:00 Noon E.S.T.  on YouTube, Facebook and also Facebook!

 

 

REVIEW: Brent Doerner’s Decibel (2006)

BRENT DOERNER’S DECIBEL – Bd=I0log(P₁/P₂)=dB (2006)

The Doctor, Brent Doerner, departed Helix in 1989.  His presence was missed by long time fans.  Although he rejoined in the 90s, it was only briefly.  Through the decade, he maintained his chops and took up country music in the clubs.  This added new dimensions to his playing when he inevitably returned to rock.  After spending a decade and a half as a “guitarpenter”, Brent decided he wanted to get back into music and make a statement on his own.  “I was bound and determined, come hell or high water, to make an album,” he said.  With a new band called Decibel consisting of Shane Schedler on lead guitar, the late Ralph “Chick” Schumilas on guitar, and Dan Laurin on drums, Brent did just that.  “If you don’t write good songs, it ain’t gonna fly baby,” says Brent.  Fortunately, the guys had a bunch of them.

The band lineup included three guitar players, two of them soloists.  On this disc, the triple axe attack is joined by future Helix guitarist Kaleb Duck on a couple tracks.

Opener “The Sum of 2 People” begins with a lethal riff and a slow, determined groove.  It then detours into a psychedelic, watery sound with Doener’s clever lyric contrasting love with math.  “X and y are the fractions, multiplied by nine!  Our love exceeds the math of the sum of two people.”  Good song, excellent set of words from the Doctor, showing off his underappreciated lyrical talents.  The track itself is quite varied, with a variety of connected parts and a classic sounding guitar solo.

Brent plays bass on most of the album, but Mike Benedictine guests on the wickedly choppy “A Body For You”.  “I’d hide a body for you, baby!” goes the chorus, but the riff is the real killer.  This is a challenging song, but check out the cool dual guitar bit in the middle.  Very vintage Helix.

The highlight track is third in line:  the pure boogie of “Takin the Color Right Outta Da Blooze”.  This is an upbeat, slide-laden track made for shaking asses.  Had there been a single, this is the clear choice.  It has the taste of twang, and unforgettable hooks.  It’s pure joy set to music.  “We’re getting bull-ridin’-ready!” sings the good doctor.  This is just a song about letting loose, and it’s the perfect accompaniment to doing just that.  Awesome track.

Another killer track, “On Bended Knee” has a vibe similar to early 80s Kim Mitchell – think songs like “Miss Demeanor”.  Simply excellent mid-tempo sentimental rock.  There’s something slightly majestic about the chorus guitar hook.

Drummer brother Brian Doerner guests on “Fire in the Bedroom”, a suitably upbeat rocker.  Giddy up, says Brent.  Solid advice.  The excellent solo features some of that twang but this otherwise pure rock and roll smoke.  Just fun.  Brian on drums adds a different flavour; a little more sophisticated rhythm and brainy fills.

If you like bands with multiple lead vocalists, then you will be pleased to note that guitarist Shane Schedler takes the microphone on “Never Turn Yer Back”.  He has a higher tone to his voice, and he throws in a soulful twist.  The song itself has an early Van Halen kind of vibe.  Mike Benedictine is back on bass, but that’s not him on the impressively dexterous intro!  “I play that, says Brent.  “I play the intro and the exit on that.  That’s from me being a guitar player; it sounded cool on bass.”  He’s right!  Another album highlight.

“Breathe My Name” has a cool kick to it, and an unorthodox groove.  A lot of the tunes on this album are smarter than you’d think.  They’re not meat and potatoes rock.  They have different rhythms throughout, changing and shifting and then suddenly sounding like another genre.  “Breathe My Name” largely rocks, but not in a brick-headed way.

There are no ballads on this album, but “Stainless Steel Emotion” is the most laid back of the songs, and really emphasises a southern twang.  Again, the riff recalls early Kim Mitchell, which might be why it sounds so classic.  “Got up late, felt not so great, with alcohol blues.  She just laughed, turned on the gas and waited for the boom!”  A funny, quirky song about love gone sour.  You can’t particularly compare “Stainless Steel Emotion” to any single band.  Brent likes writing unique songs, and this one has the right fit to be second last on an album.

Hilliard Walter, who would later join the band on bass and vocals, sings lead on the unique “Dancing Frogs (The Zamboni Song)”.  The powerhouse soul-blues vocalist kicks the song up about eighteen notches with class and sass.  The vibe of the song evokes the classic image of the dancing frog from the Warner Brothers cartoon One Froggy Evening.  “You can just picture the dancing frog with the top hat and the cane,” Doerner explains.  Why “The Zamboni Song”?  Because Hills Walter drove one!  “We’ve got the best damn Zamboni operator/driver/singer/lead vocalist in the country, man!”  There’s an old automobile “ooga” horn in there too, as a final original touch.  Do Zambonis have horns?

It must be stated:  Brent Doerner did not create an “immediate” sounding album on his debut.  He didn’t set out to make simple music.  The songs have twists in them, but also great hooks that will get you in time.  You notice by second listen, the hooks have started to set in.  The running order could probably be improved by opening with something catchier like “A Body For You” instead of the menacing “The Sum of 2 People”, but your experience may vary.  If only the album had big-budget production.  Some of the songs could have had potential.

Must-haves:  “Takin the Color Right Outta Da Blooze”, “A Body For You”, “On Bended Knee”, “Never Turn Yer Back”, “Stainless Steel Emotion” and “The Zamboni Song”.

4.5/5 stars

The Adventures of Tee Bone Man – Chapter Three: Hell Ain’t A Bad Place To Be

Previously…

“Ready?”

“As I’ll ever be” came Tee Bone’s reply. “Let’s do this”

The Australian pressed the accelerator, and with the roar of the eight-cylinder engine, the car lurched forward and began its journey towards Hell. The needle climbed with every passing second, but even with the power of Tee Bone’s Scotch coursing through it, the old Ford was not what it used to be.

The Australian began to worry. They were not going fast enough, and they would run into a turn or, worse, another car soon. He threw his head back towards the direction of Tee Bone

“I don’t think we’re gonna make it!”

“Hold on!” Tee Bone yelled back. Then he began to wind his arm around a couple times, gathering air. The supercharger roared with delight. Then he hit the loudest power chord he had ever played, and the car surged forward as the world seemed to disappear in a flash of white.

For several seconds the only sound either of the men heard was the engine in front of them. Then colour returned to their vision. The colour red.

They had made it to Hell. Now they just needed to find the source of these disturbances, stop them and get back to the real world without dying. Somehow.

CHAPTER THREE: HELL AIN’T A BAD PLACE TO BE

“How did I get into this mess?” asked the Australian to himself, hiding behind a rock. “48 hours ago, I was grooming my moustache in my room, listening to the superior Blaze Bayley…and now here I am trapped in Hell with a madman!”

The flying madman in question, dressed in tights and cape, and wielding an electric guitar, was like a whirling dervish in the middle of a hellish landscape too twisted and horrific to describe.

Yet the sound of it all was music to the mustachioed Australian’s ears.

Earlier…

The spell had worked, and the pair entered Hell. With world-rending earthquakes set to ravage the Earth, Tee Bone Man and his young accomplice sought to find the source of the seismic waves, at the very core of the underworld. Surely they did not expect the entrance to the everlasting fire be unguarded, but what they faced before them was beyond their sickest nightmares.

Staring the pair down were thousands upon thousands of monsters. Assorted ghouls from the tradition of fire and brimstone: demons, goblins, evil spirits, orcs, darkfriends, dragons, and worse. If Tolkien had crossed paths with George R.R. Martin to write the ultimate battle scene, you’d still be looking at a day at a picnic compared to what our heroic duo now stared down!

Tee Bone Man was unshaken.

“Hold this?” he asked casually of his smaller friend, handing over his trademark black Van Halen mask for safekeeping.

“This means business.” Tee Bone Man reached behind his electric guitar, and unscrewed a compartment.

“Secret stash,” he winked as he grabbed a tiny capsule. “Scotch on the rocks.”

Tee Bone Man opened the capsule and downed the noxious substance inside. Suddenly he glowed in radioactive green light as he seemed to grow two times in size.

“Listen, friend,” Tee Bone said to the Australian. “I’m sorry you got dragged into this. But we’re not alone. Use this transmitter, call for help. Ask for Superdekes.” He handed the smaller man a pager-like device with a picture of an amp head on it. “We’ve opened the gates of Hell, he should be able to get in without having to do the spell over again, right?”

“Affirmative,” answered the Australian. “But the portal only stays open for one day. If you’re expecting help, help better hurry.”

Tee Bone Man winked again. “No problem for this guy. He’s inventive.”

With that, the hero grabbed his guitar, and began shredding. Lightning and flame ripped from the instrument, striking the demons and orcs charging their way. Tee Bone Man then ascended above them and dive-bombed the demons with the kind of power riffs they had never heard before. Even for hellspawn, the brain-melting power of the music was far too much to handle. Dozens at a time, the monsters were slain by the flying guitar slinger, banking to and fro in the air, dodging spears, axes and arrows.

“Take cover!” he yelled below to his friend.

Hiding behind a rock, the Australian pushed a button on the transmitter given to him by Tee Bone Man.

Somewhere in the tundra of Thunder Bay, Superdekes was fretting.

The quakes were worsening. They were worldwide. And he had not heard from his friend Tee Bone Man. Tracking him was usually routine, but this time he disappeared off the map. Not that Tee Bone Man couldn’t take care of himself, but this was the most critical adventure yet. This wasn’t just saving a bunch of southerners from a Sasquatch, this was saving the world!

A crackle on the radio.

“Come in? Tee Bone?” begged Superdekes into the microphone.

He paused and waited. “Anyone there?”

Suddenly another crackle, louder this time.

“Hello, I’m looking for Superdekes,” came a voice with a unique accent that was uncategorizable. “Come in Superdekes!”

“This is Superdekes, who’s this on Tee Bone’s radio?”

“This is Harrison Holden in Australia…well, Hell actually. Tee Bone Man and I are outnumbered and we need your help! Can you track us from this signal? The portal will only be open for 23 more hours and I don’t know if Tee Bone Man can hold them off that long!” A short pause followed and then the voice returned. “I am completely unarmed and hiding behind a rock. Not the most comfortable position to be in while being divebombed by parademons.”

“Oh boy,” said Superdekes to himself. “What did Tee Bone get himself into this time?” He pushed the button on his device again. Into the radio he spoke. “No problem kid. I can be there in a jiffy. I’ve been working on something. As for being unarmed, I got your back. Sit tight. What did you say your name was again?”

“I’m Harrison, from Australia,” the young man answered. “They call me the Man with the Moustache.”

“See you soon, Moustache Man,” answered Superdekes. He opened the door to the garage of their headquarters, Deke’s Palace.

Deke’s old black motorcycle helmet and suit hung on the wall, but the bike in the center of the room was brand new. It glimmered with a fiery red sheen, seemingly independent of the ambient light in the room. It evoked power, speed, and stealth all at once. It was a beauty.

“I was hoping to give this baby a trial run first, but duty calls. And you always gotta do your rock and roll duty.”

Superdekes opened a weapons locker, packed a couple bags, and sat atop the bike. With the push of a button, the whisper-quiet engine was engaged. Superdekes lowered the visor of his helmet and revved. The garage door opened and he rode out into the Thunder Bay arctic sun. It was frosty for August, as his breath formed clouds in front of his face.

With a sudden charge, the fire-red bike tore off, down the secret driveway onto the road.

“Here we go,” said Superdekes with a tinge of concern. He opened a control panel on the dash of his bike and flipped a toggle. As he accelerated down the road, flaps emerged from the sides of the bike, forming horizontal wings. At 160 kilometers per hour, Superdekes began to climb!

The flying motorcycle set course for the south Pacific, and Superdekes engaged the afterburners. Like the USS Enterprise going to warp speed, the bike disappeared in the air as it raced to save the world.

Wave after wave had fallen but our hero fought on!

With a stab, he impaled a hideous troll through the back with his guitar. A swing of the weapon removed the head from another. A kick to the face, and another one bit the dust. Focusing all his power, Tee Bone Man created the ultimate power chord and aimed it directly at a dragon overhead. With a thunderous cry, the mighty beast fell, unable to withstand distortion of that magnitude.

But they were getting nowhere! With young Harrison pinned down behind a rock, and Tee Bone fully engaged battling enemies, there was no way to find the source of, and stop the earthquakes.

“This is ridiculous,” said the young Australian. “I’m not hiding here behind a rock all day! I’ve got to find the source of the quakes.”

Venturing out, the man evaded the eyes of evil. He slunk along a line of rocks, using his keen Australian sense of seismic forces to triangulate the quakes. As Tee Bone Man blasted beasts overhead, the young man leaped from cover to cover, sensing he was getting closer.

A flying insectoid beasty landed right before him! It bared its fangs and approached.

“Meesa in big doo doo this time,” sighed the Australian as he prepared to defend himself hand to hand against the giant bug.

As the beasty dove at him to attack, it was distracted by a sound overhead. It looked up.

“Hey, Harrison! El Moustachio! Catch!”

The young Australian looked up and gasped at a sight he’d never seen before: a sleek flying motorcycle, slicing through the air like an arrow! Atop the flying bike, a rider in black. He tossed the young man a weapon.

A moustache-shaped weapon! A sonic boomerang!

“Thanks Superdekes!” shouted the young man with a smile on his face. He raised the moustache-shaped weapon and aimed. He’d been throwing boomerangs all his life, since Grade 1 Boomerang class at the local school. With deadly aim, he fired the weapon, which hummed with sonic cutting power. It swiftly removed an arm and two legs from the beast, leaving it Anakin-crippled in the hot sand.

“I hate sand,” mumbled Harrison Holden to himself, as the moustacherang returned to his deft hand.

Flying overhead and shredding chords, Tee Bone man saw that he had been joined by Superdekes. The tide was turning!

“Nice bike,” said Tee Bone. “When were you planning on telling me about your flying motorcycle?”

With a smirk Superdekes answered, “Since you can fly and I can’t, I was going to surprise you one day when you were on your morning scotch run. Surprise!” With that, Dekes nailed a couple flying demons with the sonic blasters attached to the wings of his bike.

Like old pros, the two formed up a position, and deftly took down a dozen or more airborne threats in one efficient strike. Below them, young Harrison Holden was tearing through a row of demons with his new favourite weapon.

“I do like this thing,” he said to no-one in particular.

Another one down, and the Australian noticed something in the rock wall dead ahead.

“Guys! This is El Moustachio,” he shouted into the transmitter. “I think I found the source. There’s a big door up ahead in the mountain face!”

Tee Bone Man looked down and saw the same thing. “I’ll clear you a path. Get to that door!” He blasted a clearing through the monsters with a supercharged solo from the Satriani book of rock.

As if on cue, the Australian bolted like Harry LaSalles towards the stone entrance. To his surprise, it opened right before his eyes! Could it be a trap? He was prepared for anything. Almost.

Harrison kept running until he entered…a beautifully decorated and lit 18th century hallway, right out of the most luxurious mansion he’d ever seen depicted. He came to a dead stop and looked around him. Paintings adored the walls; sculptures decorated the corners. There was a brightly lit room straight ahead, unguarded, and so he entered. What he saw, he could not believe. A Ming vase…a priceless Stradivarius violin…a Da Vinci sketch…a signed Gretzky rookie card…this place was beyond “millionaire” and straight into “billionaire”. What was it doing in the middle of Hell?

“Welcome, young Holden,” said a sinister voice from a dark corner, the only dark corner in the room.

“Show yourself!” demanded the young man.

“But of course,” answered the voice. On switched a light, and before him Harrison saw a red figure. Exactly as Derek Riggs had drawn him on Iron Maiden’s album covers, sat the Devil himself, comfortably in a plush chair.

“Please allow me to introduce myself, but I think you already know my name.”

“I do,” said Harrison with a lump in his throat. He certainly didn’t expect to have to face off against the great Satan all by himself. Then he remembered the transmitter in his pocket and covertly opened a channel.

“What do you want, foul one?” he said mustering all the courage he could find. “What do you want with the world? Stop your earthquakes or I’ll finish this myself!” He could not believe he was hearing himself say these things, but here he was! He felt stronger and more confident than he ever had before.

The unholiest saw through it. “You cannot hurt me, boy. But you do not have to hurt me. Let’s get to it. What I want, you have already brought with you.”

Now truly scared, Harrison answered defiantly, “Oh yeah? What’s that you evil wretch? Whatever it is, you won’t get it!”

A smile went from pointed ear to pointed ear. “I want Tee Bone Man’s autograph.”

A long pause.

“Say that again?” asked the young man.

“What I want,” said the sinister Devil, “is Tee Bone’s autograph. You see my collection here. Over there to my right, in the frame on the wall?” He pointed a long red fingernail at a record on the wall. “That’s an original. Beatles Yesterday and Today with the ‘butcher’ cover. Beautiful picture, I might add.” Lucifer paused and snickered to himself. “You know, it’s funny. All the shit that John Lennon took about being ‘bigger than Jesus’? You’re probably too young to remember that. They all said he’d be going straight to Hell for saying that. But do you see John Lennon here? No. Some of the people who swore he’d be coming here are now my neighbours, but one thing I don’t have in my collection is John Lennon.” He paused a moment, seemingly in sadness. Could a being this evil ever truly know sadness? “At least I could have Tee Bone Man’s autograph.”

A muscular figure loomed in the doorway. “If that’s what it will take to end this, then let’s talk, Devil.” Tee Bone Man, weary from the battle and covered with demon blood, entered the room. His supercharged presence lit the area even brighter. He winked at Harrison. Turning on that transmitter was a good idea.

“But why the hell — pardon the pun — why the hell didn’t you just ask me?” asked Tee Bone quite logically.

“Ask you how, exactly?” the great Satan answered. “Nobody plays records backwards anymore, there was no way to get your attention. If God can talk to people in the form of natural disasters as they claim, why can’t I?” He seemed pretty defensive, for a guy who’s supposed to be the ultimate evil.

“Listen,” the Devil started over again. “I’m not all that bad. Yes, I’ve done a lot of bad shit, but most of what goes down on Earth? That’s all you. Humans being shitty to each other. Until now, I haven’t intervened in human affairs in many years. Not since George W. Bush. He was the last one I swear. Since then, honestly, you guys have been doing a pretty good job of my work for me.”

Tee Bone Man looked down in contemplation.

“If what you say is true, then I truly have my work cut out for me up on Earth,” he said after a thought. “But dude, we just fought the armies of Mordor to get here. That was completely unnecessary!”

“It sure was awesome though, wasn’t it?” answered the demonic one.

Tee Bone sighed. It was the Devil, after all. Evil’s gonna evil.

“You can have your autograph, Lucifer.”

The Devil jumped up out of his chair and did a little dance. Just as he did, Superdekes entered the room and removed his helmet.

“Oh my God is that…did you bring…Superdekes? I thought he couldn’t fly? Sorry I’m such a big fan. Can I have his autograph too? I didn’t think there would be any way I could get both your autographs! In fact I never thought I’d ever see either of you here in Hell.” The Devil danced across the room as if on ice. He slid over to a massive bookshelf and removed his treasured autograph book.

“See? I already have a page set aside for you with your picture on it!” said the Devil to Tee Bone Man. “Sorry your picture is not in here, but I truly never expected to see Superdekes!”

“Mildy creepy, but OK. Got a pen?”

With that, pens appeared in Superdekes and Tee Bone Man’s hands.

As they signed the book, the Devil noticed young Harrison standing behind, slightly aloof.

“Come here, you,” motioned the Devil. “I want your autograph too! As far as I’m concerned, you’re part of the team now.”

With a smile, young Harrison Holden saw a pen in his hand.

“See, Tee Bone Man? What happened on that battlefield today made this young man with the moustache into a bonafide hero. The evil that I do often has a purpose.” Satan smiled from one pointed ear to the other again, his sharp teeth gleaming white.

Harrison the Hero leaned over and signed the book right under Tee Bone and Superdekes. Then he paused.

“Wait a minute,” he asked. “How do I know I didn’t just sign my soul over to you?”

Satan laughed. “Look, I may be the Devil, but the rules of contracts are very specific. For me to take your soul via a signed contract, the contract must be clear and understood by all parties. You signed my autograph book, that’s all. Look, check out page three.” The Devil magically flipped to the correct page. “That’s Elvis. And that one? Bruce Lee. You know how hard it was to get those autographs? Those guys aren’t here either. But Hitler is! I could give you a thousand numbered Hitler autographs to sell on eBay, if you want?”

“Uhhh, no thanks!” the three answered in unison.

“Then I thank you for your additions to my collection. I can’t wait to invite Adolf and Joseph to check them out! Farewell, you heroes!”

The Devil snapped his fingers and the three began to fade.

“Bye guys…” waved Harrison to the other two. They both waved back as all three disappeared, leaving the Devil alone with his new treasures.

Deke’s Palace, Thunder Bay.

The two materialized back in their old headquarters. Without a word, each took an armchair and sat, exhausted.

Long silence. An hour. Two hours.

Then Tee Bone stirred.

“Hey Superdekes. Pass the scotch? I could use a drink.”

“You got it, pal,” answered Superdekes. Their glasses clinked, a record spun, and the two friends drank. “You never got that replacement AC/DC vinyl on the Albert Productions label,” he reminded Tee Bone as an afterthought.

“Oh yeah,” said Tee Bone with a yawn. “No worries. We’ll go back and thank that Harrison Holden kid for everything one day. Then we can get you all the new vinyl you want.”

“Right on pal,” said Superdekes as the two friend clinked glasses again.

Until the next adventure!

#982: Sounds (On This Day, 15 Years Ago)

This entry comes from my journal 15 years ago today, April 19 2007.

RECORD STORE TALES #982:  Sounds

When I was a young single guy still working at the Record Store, I liked to customize my home computer experience.  The sound scheme in particular was something I enjoyed fiddling with.  I would download .wav files from TV shows, movies, and Homestarrunner cartoons.  Nobody wants just the default sounds, I figured.  Let’s have some fun with them, I reasoned.  For example  During my Homestarrunner phase, I always had the character announce incoming emails, as below.

Homestar: “Email”

The journal entry below reveals other favourite system sounds I employed.  Jen didn’t care for them, and I must have loved her or something, because the below implies that I changed them for her!

2007/04/19 21:18

Every time I upgrade my computer I switch sound schemes around. I’m sure Jen will appreciate it that my computer won’t be swearing constantly anymore. My old sound scheme featured such classics as:

  • New person logs into MSN Messenger: “Who the fuck is this asshole?” as spoken by Samuel L. Jackson.

Jackson:  “Who the fuck…”

  • New email (Outlook): “(gunshot) Oh I’m sorry, did I break your concentration?” again by Samuel.

Jackson:  “Oh I’m sorry…”

I also changed some old favourites, just for the sake of change. My computer no longer quotes Clerks at startup and shutdown anymore:

  • PC startup:  “I’m not even supposed to be here today!”

Dante:  “I’m not even”…

  • And PC shutdown:  “My love for you is ticking clock Berzerker! Would you like to suck my cock Berzerker!”

Olaf:  “My love for you…”

Of course, those old favourites will be cycled in again one day. But now I’m sure she’ll be happy that for now, MSN Messenger has just has Fred Willard saying, “Hey, wha happen?”

 

I strongly recommend you brighten up your day by customizing your own soundscapes in computerland!

 

#981: I Got A Bad Feeling About This: Euphoria

Part Twenty-One of the Def Leppard Review Series

RECORD STORE TALES #981:  I Got A Bad Feeling About This: Euphoria

Without sounding like a broken record, the 90s were a rough time for rock and roll bands.  Those who suffered did what they had to do to survive.  When that didn’t work out, they’d revert to formula.  In the case of some high-profile groups, the moves were quite obvious attempts to recreate the past.  Take, for example, Bon Jovi.

1995’s These Days was a daring attempt to do something different, a little more laid back and organic.  The result was, with the benefit of hindsight, one of the band’s best records.  But it sold half as many copies as 1993’s Keep the Faith, which sold less than a third of what New Jersey sold, which sold just over half of what Slippery When Wet sold.  The law of diminishing returns.  So what did they do?  The wrote a song called “It’s My Life” which was just “Livin’ On A Prayer 2000” no matter what they admitted to.  Back was the talk box, Tommy, and Gina.  It was embarrassing.  The fans didn’t mind though, and they ate it up like crack-covered ice cream.

Hell, even Motley Crue got back with Bob Rock for a couple new throwback tunes.  They stepped back from the cliff of Generation Swine and scored some minor redemption before Tommy Lee fucked off.

In 1999, Def Leppard were faced with a similar situation.  Like Motley Crue, they leaned into the 1990s on Slang.  The difference was that Def Leppard made a coherent disc that felt natural, unlike the slop that Nikki Sixx fed us.  Instead of selling half of what the triple-platinum Adrenalize sold, Slang only mustered up gold in the US.  Alarm bells were ringing and something had to be done.  And like Bon Jovi at the same time, Leppard too attempted to recreate the past.

A certain Robert John “Mutt” Lange was summoned, and one of the resultant tracks called “Promises” sounds a dead ringer for “Photograph”.  And then, this artwork was released.

“After Pyromania and Hysteria comes…Euphoria.”

My buddy T-Rev was working at the Cambridge location of the Record Store.  He received the press release for Euphoria featuring that slogan in his morning shipment of CDs.  He laughed and gave me a ring to tell me.

Another “-ia” album.  For fucksakes…

I can’t recall my exact words, but I do remember my exact feeling:  “I got a bad feeling about this.”

It was as if the last decade didn’t happen.  Let’s forget the last couple records, no matter how good they may be.  And the cover art?  The dominant blue recalled the past hits, but the return of the classic logo was a clear message.  You’re going to get the Def Leppard you remember.  You’re going to get the Def Leppard album that should have followed Hysteria.  That’s the message here.

While the majority of fans were in love with the idea, I had reservations.  It seemed contrived.  Slang deserved better than to be buried like this.  In fact this move really does a disservice to the whole Slang era.  That album was a brave attempt to try some new hats on.  This looked like a timid step back into safe territory, afraid to do anything but.

Is that what happened?  Find out next time.

Previous:  

  1. The Early Years Disc One – On Through the Night 
  2. The Early Years Disc Two – High N’ Dry
  3. The Early Years Disc Three – When The Walls Came Tumbling Down: Live at the New Theater Oxford – 1980
  4. The Early Years Disc Four – Too Many Jitterbugs – EP, singles & unreleased
  5. The Early Years Disc 5 – Raw – Early BBC Recordings 
  6. The Early Years 79-81 (Summary)
  7. Pyromania
  8. Pyromania Live – L.A. Forum, 11 September 1983
  9. Hysteria
  10. Soundtrack From the Video Historia – Record Store Tales
  11. In The Round In Your Face DVD
  12. “Let’s Get Rocked” – The Wait for Adrenalize – Record Store Tales
  13. Adrenalize
  14. Live at the Freddie Mercury Tribute Concert
  15. Retro-Active
  16. Visualize
  17. Vault
  18. Video Archive
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Sunday Screening: Stranger Things 4 trailer featuring the music of Journey

Those of us addicted to the Netflix original series Stranger Things generally agree:  the soundtracks kick ass.  Taking place in the 1980s, the series is nostalgia-heavy.  Intentionally evoking classic 80s Steven and Stephen (Spielberg & King), the series has pulled the right strings.  Season 4 appears to be no different, with that haunting version of “Separate Ways (Worlds Apart)” by Journey taking center stage.

The song is not just a cool tune for the show, but important to the themes of this season.  Our characters are indeed worlds apart, separated for the first time.

Joining the cast this year is the original Freddie Krueger, Robert England himself.  According to creators the Duffer brothers, this is the classic horror season of the show.  Expect that Nightmare on Elm Street vibe.

#980.5: The Adventures of an Anxious Walmart Shopper on Easter Saturday

“Hey Jen, if you’re up early enough, let’s go to Walmart tomorrow morning.  I want to look for that new Coke,” I said stupidly, not thinking about what weekend it was.

“Sure,” she agreed, and that’s how it ended up that we left for Walmart at 9:45 on Easter Saturday morning.

The “new Coke” I was referring to is “Coca Cola with Coffee”, available in three different brews:  Caramel, Dark, and Vanilla.  I want to try all three.  I was a big fan of Coca Cola Blaq about 15 years ago, their first attempt to mass market a coffee/Coke hybrid.  Coke Blaq was delicious, like regular Coke but with the extra note of coffee bean.  I’m eager to try these new ones.  Coke Blaq came in a small black bottle in these come in cans, which makes me wonder if they are similar to those creamy coffee beverages, with a Coke taste?  Or something more like Coca Cola Blaq?  Inquiring minds wanted to do, and I had heard that these were showing up in Walmart stores.

Walmart was already pretty busy and then I smacked myself and realized, “Of it is.”  Ah well.

I wore an N95 mask this time; my first time.  Easy breathing but hard on the ears.  If I’m wearing one long term I’ll have to do something about the ears.  About 75% of Walmart shoppers were masked, and 100% of the staff.  This is good since virtually everybody I know has Covid, or has had a recent close brush.  I can’t believe this is my third Covid Easter.

First I made my way to the entertainment section where I picked up the newest Blue Rodeo album, Many A Mile.  On slide guitar, The Sheepdogs’ own Jimmy Bowskill, once a child prodigy discovered by Jeff Healey at age 11.  Blue Rodeo are one of those bands where I just want to own all the albums, and stay current, even if the last five or six albums have been good but not memorable.  There’s never anything wrong with ’em.  Many A Mile is as good as any.  In some regards, it’s a throwback to the classic first three Blue Rodeo albums.  Lots of awesome guitar work and hooks.  Just gets hard to remember the songs, record after record after record.

Also found in the music department were the new albums by Slash and Greta Van Fleet, but I found myself staring indifferently at them.  I didn’t even know Greta had a new album out.  Have they already dropped off the radar that badly?

Come on, where are you Spiderman: No Way Home?  Not in stock – sold out!  They had a three-fer with all three MCU Spidey films in one, but I wanted something with the bonus features that I crave.  Ah well, next time, I’ll get you Spiderman!

Finally a trip to the toy section.  No Marvel Legends figures at all, and only a couple Star Wars Black Series.  They were well stocked in Transformers and I noticed they had some reissue Beast Wars toys.  Hard to believe Beast Wars was 25 years ago.  I never bought an original Beast Wars toy, and wanted to give one of these reissues a shot.  They only had Optimus Primal and Megatron, so obviously I chose the dinosaur.  Beast Wars has always been an enigma to me.  When it was new, the toys seemed to barely transform.  The cartoon was very primitive in terms of computer animation.  But Beast Wars appealed to kids worldwide and it saved the Transformers franchise.  Curiosity got the better of me and now I am the happy owner of a reissue purple dino Megatron.

Finally, the Coke. I scoured the racks but they did not have the coffee beverages that I require.  I shall have to try convenience stores and gas stations next.  I love Coke.  I try every variety that I can get my hands on.  I have no problem with Pepsi, but it’s Coke that I want to catch ’em all.

Walmart did have two sweet looking consolation Cokes:  Quebec Maple, and British Columbia Raspberry.  Only having enough hands for one case, I chose Quebec Maple.  Upon paying, I realized that someone swapped out one bottle of Maple and replaced it with a Raspberry.  Win!  I get to try both.

I only had one panic attack while waiting to pay, and I managed to breathe my way out of it.

Walmart had run out of plastic bags and only had the more expensive cloth ones.  I could feel the tension as word spread among the customers.  I hate standing in line at grocery stores and Walmarts.  Everybody does, but I get tense.  It passed; my glasses fell off because of the way the N95 pulls on my ears, but I paid for my stuff and got out.  Didn’t need a bag.  Didn’t have the energy to look at Sunrise Records or Toys R Us.  Just came home.

Put the Coke in the fridge, pulled up a chair and started listening to the Blue Rodeo.  They’re usually pretty good for reducing the anxiety. I feel a lot better already!  Happy Easter everyone, and stay away from places like Walmart if you can!

Rapid Fire Friday with Rob, Harrison & Meat

A wonderful social gathering tonight with some rapid-fire action!  Robert Daniels stepped up to the plate at short notice to talk music, movies and TV.  We were joined by Harrison the Mad Metal Man, and Uncle Meat for some quiz fun.  It was an impromptu night of loose and entertaining chatter among friends.

Topics discussed:

  • Star Trek: Picard, The Original Series, and Animated
  • The new Ghost album Impera
  • Soundtracks
  • Van Halen, Roth & Easter
  • The Batman
  • And a random quiz of 11 questions that included audience participation answers!
  • Tons of fun!

We also played a bunch of music including the debut of a track called “Bones ‘N’ Clothes” by Plasticine, featuring Rob Szabo and Steve Strongman.  This song was very well received by our viewing audience and will definitely be heard again.

Thanks for watching!

Next week:  POLYCHUCK

 

Friday Music & Entertainment Chit Chat with Rob Daniels

Happy Easter weekend everyone! Without going into too much detail, Covid has upended plans here at LeBrain HQ, so we’re going live tonight instead. Don’t worry…as I write this, Jen and I are not sick, but people close to us are and as a result, I am not going away this weekend as planned. Instead it’s gonna be a LeBrain Train weekend.

Please welcome pinch hitter Robert Daniels tonight as he joins Harrison and I to discuss what we’ve been listening to and watching these last few weeks. Those who watch Rob’s mid-week live streams know he has been working his way through a couple of big projects. One is listening to all his soundtracks in alphabetical order. Another is watching all the Star Trek episodes (and series) in order. Huge projects, on a galactic scale!

We’ll be playing lots of videos (Max the Axe, Tee Bone and more), and deep-diving on some music and movies.

Friday April 15, 7:00 PM E.S.T. on YouTube, Facebook and also Facebook!

#980: Uh! All Night

RECORD STORE TALES #980: Uh! All Night

My final year of grade school, 1985-86 was momentous.  I’ve written an entire 1986 saga about those times.  I had mono which kept me home sick for much of the end of Grade 8.  This meant plenty of music listening time while I recovered.  Music and comic books.  Discovering so many new songs and bands made it a uniquely special time.  Being sick wasn’t so bad.  It kept me away from the bullies while learning about Van Halen songs such as “Unchained” and “So This Is Love”.  I sat in the basement and watched a lot of Pepsi Power Hours, during (arguably) the peak era of the show.

Additionally, it was the year I decided my favourite band was Kiss.

Kiss were hot on the TV with “Tears Are Falling”, the first single from their newest album Asylum.  Kiss were one of those bands that just made me want to collect them all.  Although I had acquired some used Kiss records in a trade, Asylum was my first brand-new Kiss purchase from a store.  That’s a special thing, because it felt like a rite of passage.  A year earlier I would have been walking up to the counter with an action figure in hand.  In autumn of 1985 I approached the cash register with what was once forbidden fruit.  Kiss used to seem dangerous, even disgusting when I was a kid.  Here I was buying the new Kiss album, for the first of many times.

I like to think that I have a knack for picking the singles for albums today.  It all started with Asylum and their little ditty called “Uh! All Night”.  While “Tears Are Falling” was a really obvious choice for single #1, it seemed to me that album closer “Uh! All Night” should be second.  A lot of albums I owned back then seemed to have a handful of good songs, and a lot of filler.  Asylum has filler (mostly the Gene songs) but “Uh! All Night” was catchy from first listen.  It was also far more upbeat than “Who Wants To Be Lonely”.

If Kiss were out to corrupt young minds, then they would have been happy to know that my sister and I jumped around the basement singing, “When you work all day you gotta UH! all night!”

I wasn’t 100% certain what “uh!” meant in this case.  The Pepsi Power Hour was little help.

With VCR at the ready, I watched attentively as VJ Christopher Ward introduced the video on the Power Hour for the first time.

“What does it mean, ‘Uh! All Night’?” teased Ward.  “Do your homework all night?  I think it means do your homework all night.”

I figured “uh” had to be something naughty.  Partying?

The video came on, and Paul Stanley descended a dark staircase wearing a white captain’s hat.  He removed his overcoat revealing more sequins, reflectors and hair than I could take in.  Dated looking by today’s standards.   The epitome of cool for 1985.  All of them looked cool, except for Gene who really struggled to find the right image, until the Revenge era.  The stage set was cool, like a construction zone at night adorned with lights and speakers.

Kiss danced, and posed, and lipsynched up a storm.  Kiss were designed for pubescent boys like me, who were giving up on action heroes and discovering rock and roll.  And girls.  The “Uh! All Night” video was criticised for, of course, objectifying scantily clad women.

Funny enough, this is where Kiss missed the mark with me.  I liked girls, but not…not the ones in “Uh! All Night”.

I liked David Lee Roth’s “California Girls”.  I ogled the ones in the video for “Blondes In Black Cars” by Autograph.  I didn’t like the platinum blonde Dolly Parton lookalikes in “Uh! All Night”.  Not at all.  Their striptease with the white nylons did nothing for me.  After Bruce Kulick whips out a wicked solo with tapping and guitar faces, the Partons beds turn into bed/car hybrids with headlights and grills.  But the Partons couldn’t drive the car-beds; they had to push them.  Dozens of Partons pushing the car-beds wearing fuzzy high heels and lingerie.  It was ludicrous and completely un-hot.

At least Kiss looked cool, so I watched the video over and over, doing my best to ignore the Dolly Partons in their white beds.

David Mallet directed “Uh! All Night” and the other two singles from Asylum as well.  They all share a similar look, but “Uh! All Night” stands out among them, and not for any good reasons.  Considering the good stuff that Mallet did direct (Maiden, Bowie, Leppard, Queen, AC/DC and many more) it’s best if “Uh! All Night” just goes forgotten on a dusty shelf somewhere in the Kiss archives.