THE FOUR HORSEMEN – Death Before Suckass – Live at Saratoga Winners (2012)
“No edits. No overdubs. No bullshit.” No kidding! There also also no frills, just seven songs and 30 minutes of rock and roll.
Death Before Suckass, recorded fall 1991, sounds like a crowd recording. You can tell by the douchebag talking before the Horsemen’s set. “You should see our drum kit! It fuckin’ blows that one away! $5000 Yamaha…” Whoop-de-do, fucko. Because no matter how much your kit costs, I doubt you could hammer on it as hard as Ken “Dimwit” Montgomery did on his.
Dimwit swiftly kicks things into motion, with “75 Again”, a screamy rocker that is about 9 out of 10 on the AC/DC scale of kickass. Lead singer Frankie Starr’s voice was primed for screaming, and could do it better than most. Without even a pause, “Hothead” follows up. In a groove now, lead guitarist Dave Lizmi greases up his Gibson and lays down some beautifully fluid solo work. In the realm of heavy bluesy rock and roll, few can touch Dave Lizmi. Then rhythm guitarist Haggis takes out his slide for the single “Tired Wings”, soaking it in whiskey stained blues. Frankie’s charismatic singing shares the spotlight with the biting licks.
A non-album Savoy Brown that used to get some live play was “Can’t Get Next to You”, an AC/DC blues a-la “The Jack”. There is a sloppy edit into “Wanted Man” but as Haggis says in the liner notes, there is nothing perfect about this CD. “Wanted Man” comes close, with Lizmi again doing some really impressive playing on the six string. The most familiar songs are the singles “Nobody Said it Was Easy” and “Rockin’ is Ma Business”. The beat is a little faster, a little more intense for the stage. The only tragedy is the fidelity of this CD does not capture the thunder. You can hear it on the stage, but you cannot feel it shake the floor. Too bad, because you can be assured it all but certainly did shake the floor.
And this leads to a quandry. This album is packaged intentionally minimalist. It suits the recording inside. But it has hard to ignore that what is recorded inside is only 30 minutes, and costs $18 US plus shipping. Yes, it definitely costs The Four Horsemen a lot to press up these independent discs, and they surely don’t make a lot of money on them. Still, it is hard for the cash-strapped fan to justify that kind of money, unless you are a superfan. And unfortunately, it is likely that only superfans will be able to appreciate Death Before Suckass as the valuable noisy treasure that it is.
RIK EMMETT & RESolution9 – RES 9(2016 Mascot Music)
Rik Emmett had a long productive career as 1/3rd of Triumph, but he has rarely looked back. Post-Triumph he has released a steady stream of jazz, rock, blues and acoustic music, sometimes revisiting Triumph songs in re-arranged form. Finally the ice thawed and Triumph successfully conquered Sweden Rock. In 2016 Rik released RES 9, a new rock album with his new band RESolution 9.
RES 9 is in fact a time machine. Dial up track 1. You will be transported back to 1990 with the rock boogie of “Stand Still”. This is a spiritual sequel to “Drive Time” from Rik’s first solo album Absolutely. Then punch track 2. “Human Race” (not a Red Rider cover) could have been a single from 1986’s The Sport of Kings. With Alex Lifeson guesting on guitar, Rik and the band tapped into the hookiness of 80’s Triumph, but with a modern integrity. When you hit up track 3, you will find yourself in the future. Accompanied by fellow Canadian James LaBrie (Dream Theater), Rik turns in a modern rock anthem with “I Sing”. Big and uplifting choruses preceded by mellow verses are built for radio. LaBrie’s vocals are the perfect compliment. Without a shred of hyperbole, “I Sing” is absolutely one of the best songs Rik’s ever recorded.
The bluesy soul ballad “My Cathedral” gives Rik a chance to show off his impeccable chops. His tone — unbelievable! Moving on to “The Ghost of Shadow Town” effectively dials up 1976 in the time machine, with a dark heavy Zepp-ish blues. “When You Were My Baby” continues down smoove blues street, throwing in some jazz licks. “Sweet Tooth” is turn down a brightly lit side avenue, a sweet treat indeed.
A hard Triumph-like vibe permeates “Heads Up”, another fine hard rocker for the radio. “Rest of My Life” adds the jangle of acoustic guitars to the rock and roll mixture, creating another fine concoction just begging to be a hit. Things toughen up with the pure rock power of “End of the Line”, featuring the returns of LaBrie and Lifeson. The sheer star power of all these Canucks in one studio must have driven the temperatures well below freezing. Still the track smokes, and if you’ve ever wanted to hear Emmett and Lifeson go head to head, then wish no more.
But it is not the end of the line. Back to the future, we have a bonafide Triumph reunion featuring the full trio of Emmett, Gil Moore and Mike Levine. This long awaited reunion happens on the bonus track “Grand Parade”. The genuine surprise here is that it’s not a hard old time hard rocker, but a thoughtful and musically deep blues ballad. It strikes me as appropriate that this much anticipated track sounds nothing like old Triumph. That was, after all, a long time ago.
With RES 9, Rik has re-established his rock credentials. Whether he does another album like this is beside the point. RES 9 is the point; a damn fine album indeed.
GETTING MORE TALE #537.3: 2016 Can Suck Balls Year End Lists, Part 3 – LeBrain
Regardless of the music, 2016 will go down in history (for most of us) for just one notorious reason: The sheer number of stars that we lost, both young and old. Even after I had completed a list of the most significant pop culture deaths in 2016, I had to add even more names: Debbie Reynolds, and Carrie Fisher. Princess Leia was one of my first heroes. I was five years old. Carrie was an incredible woman, who lived a hard life and came out laughing.
Perspective.
But we’ll save the deaths for last.
Ever since the Record Store days, I have always done my albums as a Top Five. We had a newsletter and employees were asked to submit their Top Fives of the year. That being the case, I’ve always stuck with that tradition even when my compatriots have submitted some pretty awesome Top Tens.
You can check out the submitted Top Ten lists here:
Some extras! The TV shows below are the only ones I bother with. If you haven’t watched American Dad yet, after all my badgering, I don’t know what else I can say about the funniest show on TV!
Actually I do — American Dad has the best musical jokes. You will hear plenty of great tunes: Metallica, The Sword, Stan Bush, Satriani, Rush, Queen, and many more. And even the songs you don’t like (Owl City, Kelly Clarkson?) are hilarious, because of the context. That’s what makes a musical joke work. You can find a complete list of songs used in American Dad by clicking here.
Top four TV shows:
4.Family Guy
3.The Grinder
2.The Walking Dead
1.American Dad
Dropping off the list is the Big Bang Theory which started to suck a couple years ago, a few noteworthy episodes aside (such as any time Wil Wheaton shows up).
Top Movies of 2016
Movies were…just movies. There was nothing this year with the emotional impact of The Force Awakens. The films below are not in any particular order. They are just movies, nothing more and nothing less. 2016 was a somewhat disappointing year for the silver screen. (I have not yet seen Arrival.)
And sadly, the real dead pool. These are just some of the musicians, actors, writers and sports heroes we lost in the year of 2016. Many went way too young. At the 11th hour, I received this sketch of Carrie Fisher as Princess Leia. It was drawn by Wardy who you may know as regular reader here. Thank you Wardy for sending and giving me permission to post this great sketch. (Wardy is one talented guy with a pencil.) Rest in peace to all below.
Paul MacLeod
David Bowie
Prince
Alan Rickman
George Michael
Rick Parfitt
Ralph “Chick” Schumilas
John Glenn
Muhammad Ali
Florence Henderson
Gene Wilder
Arnold Palmer
Leonard Cohen
Dave Broadfoot
Glenn Frey
Gordie Howe
Harper Lee
Phife Dawg
Sir George Martin
Anton Yelchin
Garry Shandling
Christina Grimmie
Alan Thicke
Kenny Baker
Leon Russell
Merle Haggard
Paul Kantner
Jimmy Bain
John McLaughlin
Abe Vigoda
Chyna
Pat Harrington Jr.
Keith Emerson
Greg Lake
David Huddleston
Maurice White
George Kennedy
Rob Ford
Ralph Stanley
George Gaynes
Alan Young
Frank Sinatra Jr.
Lonnie Mack
Nick Menza
Prince Be
Bernie Worrell
Matt Roberts
Mr. Fuji
Alexis Arquette
Stanley “Buckwheat” Dural Jr.
Jose Fernandez
Jean Shepard
Pete Burns
Robert Vaughn
Bobby Vee
Leonard Haze
James Wooley
Sandy Pearlman
John Berry
John Thomas
Dale “Buffin” Griffin
Carrie Fisher
Debbie Reynolds
Rest in peace, and thank you for making our days a little brighter.
Please welcome — for the first time ever! — a guest shot fromJ from Resurrection Songs! Please welcome J with his Top Albums list of 2016.
GETTING MORE TALE #537.2: 2016 Can Suck Balls Year End Lists, Part 2 – J from Resurrection Songs
It’s been a right strange year. A right grim one if you consider the musical losses, not to mention the political shenanigans. Soon we’ll be populating a post-apocalyptic world. Hopefully more Mad Max than The Road. For some of us, at least. Soundtracked, it’s a year that I’ve been discovering more older releases than newer releases thanks to the writings and recommendations of fellow bloggers. However, there have been a fair few new releases that I have really enjoyed and I figured I’d hang out at Ladano’s place and say “here’s my top ten albums”.
The following are without a doubt my favourites of the year. These are the albums that grabbed my attention beyond the first side. That continue to pull me in. I am a man immersed in all their sonic awesomeness as I slip deeper and deeper into their grooves.
10. Gojira – Magma 9. The Tragically Hip – Man Machine Poem 8. The Cult – Hidden City 7. Black Mountain – IV 6. Sturgil Simpson – A Sailor’s Guide to Earth 5. Causa Sui – Return To Sky 4. Radiohead – A Moon Shaped Pool 3. The Claypool Lennon Delirium – Monolith of Phobos 2. Iggy Pop – Post Pop Depression 1. My Jerusalem – A Little Death
Note: Lists are tough, but the top five were particularly tough to separate (all stellar in my opinion). Also, I need to spend a bit more time with Bowie’s Blackstar, Nick Cave & The Bad Seeds’ Skeleton Tree, case/lang/viers, and, of course, pick up the latest Leonard release now it’s available on vinyl.
Welcome to the first of many year-end lists here at mikeladano.com! I’ve decided to call this series“2016 Can Suck Balls“. We will discuss the celebrity deaths that plagued this year on my own list, but first up to bat is the man the myth the legend — Dr. Dave Haslam. His heavier-than-fuck lists always generate a lot of interest, so Dave’s going first!
Please welcome Dr. Dave with his Top Albums list of 2016.
GETTING MORE TALE #537.1: 2016 Can Suck Balls Year End Lists, Part 1 – Dr. Dave Haslam
Well, it was an…interesting…year. The deaths came fast and furious, and the tail end of the year for me went from the sublime (Cubs win!) to the ridiculous (Trump wins!).
It will be fun watching the dumpster fire that is the United States over the next year, and perhaps a few of these tunes will serve as a compelling soundtrack for that.
10.A 3-way tie between Opeth – Sorceress, Winterfylleth – The Dark Hereafter, and Nails – You Will Never Be One Of Us.
Why a three way tie? Because “Top Tens” are an arbitrary convention. I understand that we use the decimal system on this planet, but we’re talking music here, not distance, or measurement, or even the weight of your momma. Opeth was certainly phenomenal live, and there are parts of Sorceress (particularly the title track) that I love, but there is a lot of fluff on this album, a lot of acoustic bits that just didn’t grab me. If even 75% of it was of the calibre of the title track then it would easily be my #1 album. As it is, it merely shares a tie with Winterfylleth, who are awesome, but released an album that was pretty meagre compared to their recent efforts, and Nails, a band I probably wouldn’t even like that much except that the pure, unhinged fury of You Will Never Be One Of Us pretty much encapsulates my reaction to the election of Cheeto Mussolini by our terminally stunned neighbors to the south. Check out the title track (hmm, I see a theme here) if you want the most succinct example of unbridled aggression released this year.
9. Deathspell Omega – The Synarchy of Molten Bones
So Spellcheck flags “synarchy” as a spelling mistake, which casts a poor light on Spellcheck’s recognition of obscure political terms. And, now that I notice it, Spellcheck also considers “Spellcheck’s” (the possessive form of the noun Spellcheck) as a spelling error as well. What is my takeaway from this? That Spellcheck doesn’t like being talked about, or having particular qualities or characteristics ascribed to it. Well fuck you too, Spellcheck. I don’t even need you, so blow me.
Anywho, this is a half-hour long EP, and it sure isn’t Drought, an EP from 2012 which demonstrated new levels of variety and composition from these devout French Satanists. Instead, this returns to their classic sound: eerie, frenetic, bewildering, and very very fucking evil. There’s a reason why these guys don’t do gigs – it would probably be impossible to do this live. I can only chuckle at the thought that the U.S. Army uses Metallica or some other mainstream band to torture Muslim detainees when they could be using this instead. Then again, maybe that’s for the best. This music would likely have Navy SEALs shitting their undies.
Sample only if you’ve given up on sanity as a “life goal.”
8. Meshuggah – The Violent Sleep of Reason
Recorded together live in the studio, this album has a more organic sound than any of their more recent releases. If you know them, then you know what to expect. They are a consistent, well-oiled machine, and there are few surprises or major deviations here. The song that really hooked me is “MonstroCity” (cool title, bro), which has a lurching, idiot-man-child-on-meth kind of funk to it – my favorite tune on the album. This album almost didn’t make the list, as my ability to truly appreciate Meshuggah depends on my mood; however, since I have been in a “smash-shit-up” kind of mood lately, here it is.
7. Devin Townsend – Transcendence
This fucking guy. Devy likely won’t get his proper due until years from now, but now is the time to get on board, if you haven’t already. Is it my favorite release of his? No (I’m looking at you, Ocean Machine). But when you can be as heavy as Devy can, and be as melodically lush and compelling, then you are as far past the run of the mill as it gets. As Rush rides into the sunset (did I mention that 2016 was a very trying year?), Devin Townsend is the Canuck that will pick up that torch and run with it. Time to recognize this national treasure while he’s still alive. Give “Failure” a listen and disagree. I dare you.
6. Dunsmuir – Dunsmuir
My love for Neil Fallon (and Clutch) is hardly a secret. He is the hard-rock equivalent of Tom Waits, but that comparison fails once I realize that Fallon’s tales and subject matter are even more compelling to a freak like me than Waits’. The band behind him soars, snarls, and grooves in a way that sharts on much of what we consider “classic metal.” This is why Vinny Appice replaced Bill Ward in Black Sabbath, and why Tim Sult can access limitless possibilities at the blusier end of heavy guitar. “Crawling Chaos” should give you a good idea.
5. Alcest – Kodama
A fine return to form from the French pioneers of blackgaze (black metal + shoegaze). Unlike last album Shelter, this one has bite to it, adding much appreciated energy to their lushly melodic soundscapes. With clean vocals and blackish wails, blast beats and proggier grooves, Kodama is an almost perfect balance of their disparate influences. Yes, this requires patience, and it is designed to be atmospheric rather than fist-pumping. Go to bed, turn out the lights, spark one up, and listen to this at volume on good-quality headphones. Immerse yourself. “Oiseaux de Proie” should serve nicely as an introduction.
4. Gojira – Magma
A third French band on my list? Tabernac! This one’s a grower, not a shower. This is a pretty new band for me, and I’m sure getting on the Gojira train at Magma station is like not getting into Mastodon until Once More Round the Sun or The Hunter (“Dude, like, haven’t you heard their early stuff? It kicks this album’s ass, man!”). Yeah, fine, whatever. That doesn’t change the fact that this album has a certain something that I can’t quite put my finger on. While they might have kicked your ass in a more aggressive and complicated fashion a few years ago, they’ve allowed some restraint and melody into their sound, and it has paid off in a big way. “Stranded” is what sold it for me, starting with a Meshuggah-esque riff overtop a deep but spacious groove, which then morphs into a simple bridge riff that is as cool as it is accessible, until the three and a half minute mark, when the real earworm of the song kicks in. Composition might be a four-syllable word, but it’s certainly not a four-letter word. Sometimes simplicity really is the closest step towards genius.
3. Deftones – Gore
I’ll save my rant about how unfair it is to lump these guys into the nu-metal category alongside vastly inferior bands like Korn and Chimp Trisket for a later time. Suffice it to say that this album rewards multiple listens. The story is that guitarist Stephen Carpenter had thoughts about stepping away from the recording of Gore because of how atmospheric and subtle the ideas were compared to their earlier albums. And it’s good that he didn’t, because there is still plenty of succulent riffage here. Chino Moreno is still a very versatile vocalist, going from a whisper to a scream to a croon in no time, and the rhythm section is always tasty and totally underrated. “Pittura Infamante” is probably the best example of how this band has grown – although each of their last three or four albums are totally wicked. This song resembles Gojira’s “Stranded” in that it shows how deceptive simplicity can be the secret weapon that veteran bands use to economize their songs for maximum appeal while still maintaining their true identity. And watch out for one of the riffs of the year at about the 2:25 minute mark. Wow. Then again, listen to “Hearts/Wires” for a more relaxed version of this album. Or the first track. Oh fuck it. It’s all amazing.
2. If These Trees Could Talk – The Bones of a Dying World
I had no idea that these post-rock alchemists got signed by Metal Blade, and I knew nothing about this album’s existence until I randomly came across it at Encore Records, which is where I had to special order their two previous albums about a year ago. This is textbook post-rock, and if you are confused by that particular genre designation then listen to “The Giving Tree.” It’s less spacey and discordant than Mogwai, less stoner-rock than Pelican, and much more immediate than Godspeed! You Black Emperor. There are a lot of layers, textures, and dynamics to be explored with three (3) guitarists, and ITTCT indulge that potential without it all turning into a sprawling, unfocused mess. I get a Steve Rothery vibe from “The Giving Tree,” although it is quite a bit heavier than you would expect from the heart and soul of Marillion. I’m glad that music like this exists. Sometimes you just don’t need a vocalist to get to the real heart of the matter.
1. Abbath – Abbath
After an acrimonious split with his Immortal bandmates, Abbath made the best Immortal album since 2000’s stone-cold classic Sons of Northern Darkness (one of the best heavy metal albums of the past 30 years, by the way), albeit under his own moniker and with a different rhythm section. And that rhythm section kicks massive ass, driving the kind of militant and triumphant anthems that will inspire you to crush your enemies, see them driven before you, and hear the lamentations of the women on some frosty tundra where glaciers loom and wolves lie in waiting to feast upon the bodies of the vanquished. It doesn’t get more metal than this. Like Slayer, Abbath knows that downshifting to mid-tempo is where the truly heavy and epic begins, and “Winterbane” is a perfect example of this. Merry Christmas, motherfuckers.
Close but no cigar: Metallica – Hardwired…To Self-Destruct (good, but too much meh); Russian Circles (haven’t heard it enough); Khemmis (so close…); SubRosa – For This We Fought the Battle of Ages (not as good as More Constant Than The Gods); Inquisition – Bloodshed Across the Empyrean Alter beyond the Celestial Zenith (crazy title, great black metal album).
My main obsession in 2016 that does not involve a particular album released in 2016:
Live MGLA – I’ve spent most of my YouTube time in the past year listening to and watching this Polish black metal band slay audiences and perfect heavy metal with an aggressive yet understated style that simply beggars comparison. This is THE SHIT. The drummer is unbelievable, the riffs are unimpeachable, and the compositions are incredible if you consider that hypnotism is just as valuable as anything “showy” or “obvious.” This gets me hard more than anything else in the universe right now. No grandstanding, no histrionics, no drama, no “image,” no trying too hard. This is simply perfect heavy metal. For a short, two-song sampler, check out “Brutal Assault 21 – Mgla (live) 2016”. Or for a boringly- filmed but excellent-sounding full gig, check out “MGLA – Live at Dark Easter Metal Meeting 2016 – Full Show” on YouTube.
“I don’t care ’bout the weather, the band’s here to play.”– Jon Harvey
MONSTER TRUCK – Sittin’ Heavy (2016 Dine Alone 2 LP edition)
Why are you not rocking? This is the question that Monster Truck ask to open their 2016 release Sittin’ Heavy, easily the best record the quartet have released to date. “Rock and roll might save your life, it might save your life tonight.” Perhaps this is the Truck’s modus operandi, because judging by Sittin’ Heavy they are interested in delivering the rock and doing it right.
From the short blitz of an opener, Truck go right into the first single “Don’t Tell Me How to Live”. The track has been a radio staple in Canada for most of 2016, and it’s easy to see why. The slow riffy groove is easily digestible by rock fans craving that sound, backed by a searing chorus about eagles and lions. Some have compared this band to another Nickelback, but on Sittin’ Heavy they have moved far beyond those measures. Nickelback has never delivered anything this classic sounding. Track three, “She’s a Witch” has a modern swampy vibe that Chad Kroeger couldn’t hope to taint. Three songs in, Monster Truck delivered three completely different tunes, though all with the rock solid Truck groove. One ingredient that separates the Truck from the crowd is the soulful organ provided by keyboardist Brandon Bliss. “She’s a Witch” is one track with a bizarrely heavy soul-metal vibe. That vibe culminates with “For the People”, an uplifting track that closes side one of the vinyl. The soul-rock vibe is obvious and augmented by Ian Thornley of Big Wreck who lays down some of his trademark wicked slide guitar. The Wreck-ifying of the track unites the two bands in a cool, celebratory way.
Flip the vinyl, and take a moment. “Black Forest” is a organ based track, slow and mournful, and very different from any of the four on side one. When a band like Monster Truck turn down the volume, they risk revealing that there is little substance beneath the howling distortion. This is certainly not the case here. “Black Forest” has a more subtle touch, and the band allow it to breath. As a result it’s one of the most stand-out tracks.
“Another Man’s Shoes” walks us back into familiar territory. The Truck don’t make things complicated, and guitarist Jeremy Widerman’s Frehley-like solos are just what the doctor ordered for these musical bruisings. They take a left turn down Abbey Road next by adding some Beatles-like piano vibes to “Things Get Better”, an outstanding track. “I got a feelin’ thing’ll get worse before they get better,” sings Jon Harvey but he couldn’t be more wrong. Sittin’ Heavy keeps getting better the more you play it, and “Things Get Better” is a high water mark. Side two blasts its way to a finish on “The Enforcer”, which races home with plenty of the Truck’s trademark “woah-woah-woah” gang vocals.
The third and final side (we’ll talk about that shortly) begins darkly with a Sabbath-like “To the Flame”. Widerman and Harvey seemed to study at the feet of Iommi and Osbourne when composing this menacing crawl. “Midnight” takes the tempo back up to cruising speed. Going in at low altitude, the Truck bomb your senses with a vinyl-only bonus track. Considering the price you pay for a record vs. a CD, it is nice to get something like a bonus track for your dollars. In the 80s, it was common to put a bonus track on the CD, since it was the most expensive format at that time. Now the situation is reversed.
A choppy riff introduces “New Soul”, a purely enjoyable return to the church of soul-rock. It’s a head-bangin’ good time. Clap your hands for a good time (unless you’re listening to this while driving, in which case, keep ’em steady on the wheel). Then the final track is appropriately the ballad “Enjoy the Time” which sounds like a natural way to end a soulful rock album like Sittin’ Heavy. Its Supertramp-like keyboard tones lend it a unique sound over the rest of the album. It also sums up the vibe of the whole album: “Enjoy the time we have, before they’re gone away.”
But what about the fourth side? What’s on that? Check out the etched vinyl, baby!
If you are looking for a new rock album that sounds classic, then you have found one. Those who like a rock record to be a journey of highs and lows and with a satisfying conclusion, then Sittin’ Heavy is the one. With little doubt, this one is going to be on a few best of 2016 lists at the end of the year.
This Christmas has been tinged with sadness. Rick Parfitt, George Michael…and a man you haven’t heard of named Peter Cavan Sr. I grew up with his son Peter Cavan Jr. Pete was the best man at my wedding, and his dad Peter Sr. always treated me well. The Cavans made me feel like part of the family. In my first year of university, I decided to stay home from the cottage on Thanksgiving weekend, so I could study for my first exam undistracted. Alone that Thanksgiving, Pete’s family had me over for dinner. I’ll never forget their kindness. I always enjoyed Peter Sr.’s stories, of growing up in Germany during the Second World War. Those are tales you don’t hear every day. And he was funny. Peter Sr. was truly funny. Whether intentionally or not, I knew his stories entertained us for many hours over the years. I received the sad message on Christmas morning that Peter Sr. passed after a short battle with cancer, peacefully at home that morning.
So it is with profound sadness that I give you this year’s annual post-Christmas commentary. My entire family knows and loves the Cavans, and we hope Pete and Joanne know we are there for them.
As it does every year, Christmas began early for me, at our office Christmas luncheon on November 25. Just look at that food. When you like the people you work with, an office Christmas party is a very rare and special chance to unwind with them.
My sister hosted Christmas Eve at her new place. What a spread she put out! Cheesey good appetizers, steak fondue, cheese fondue (the surprise winner), and chocolate fondue to boot. The guests had a spirited debate on the merits of CD versus vinyl, with myself being the only holdout who still prefers CD. (I know I’m not alone, just ask rock journalist Mitch Lafon which format he prefers.) My sister did a great job of decorating her tree. Have a gander.
And now, on to the good stuff. Broken down into categories, let’s give’r!
Stuff You Listen To:
I have only played the Rik Emmett so far, given to me by Mrs. LeBrain who met Rik back in highschool as part of her guitar class. Pretty cool! It features a Triumph reunion on the bonus track, “Grand Parade”. The Queen set is six discs of radio recordings. The Rush set I am both grateful for and bitter about. This is the third time I’ve received Rush 2112 as a gift in the last five years! First as part of the Sector 1 box set, then the “deluxe edition“, and now this 40th anniversary edition which has some tracks not included on the deluxe (and a slew of artists covering Rush including Jacob Moon, Alice in Chains and Foo Fighters). However, the 40th anniversary edition doesn’t include the 5.1 surround mix of the album, meaning…you kinda need both. It’s sad that Rush reissues have become so exploitive.
The Keel reissue of The Right to Rock has a bonus track, a remix of “Easier Said Than Done”. And this is my first time owning any version of Jethro Tull’s first album, This Was.
Stuff You Read:
Stuff You Play With:
The Force Is With This Stuff:
Stuff You Watch:
The Sopranos set I orchestrated myself. Sometimes-contributor Thussy and I both always said: “If the blu-ray set drops below $100, we’ll buy it.” A few weeks ago he texted me that Amazon has it on for 24 hours only at just $80! So this Christmas holiday, we will be enjoying some Sopranos and Italian food.
Stuff That Transforms From Stuff Into Robots:
Pictured below are the official Transformers Titans Return Astrotrain figure and a couple very interesting third party figs. These are Masterpiece scale and heavy as fuck with plenty of die-cast parts. Please meet Generation 1 Decepticon Reflector, incarnated here as KFC’s Eavi Metal series “Opticlones”. Representing the Autobots is Dinobot Snarl, produced by the excellent Fans Toys in their Iron Dibots line as “Sever”. I long ran out of room for more Masterpiece figures (especially Dinobots)…but who cares.
And finally…
Stuff That Flies:
I always wanted to try flying a drone. My mom and dad surprised me with this starter drone, and is it ever a lot of fun. I can almost get it to hover! Getting it to fly in the direction I want is still a challenge. So far there are no serious injuries. Jen has a couple bruises. I think my mistake was calling her into the room when I got it into the air, rather than when I figured out how the controls worked. That was a lesson there.
That’s another Christmas for the books! I hope each and every one of you had a safe and happy holiday. As I think of my friends the Cavan family, I ask you to remember that life is short. Tell the people who matter that you love them. Let’s try and make the world a better place in 2017.
“It is a period of civil war. Rebel spaceships, striking from a hidden base, have won their first victory against the evil Galactic Empire.
During the battle, Rebel spies managed to steal secret plans to the Empire’s ultimate weapon, the DEATH STAR, an armored space station with enough power to destroy an entire planet.
Pursued by the Empire’s sinister agents, Princess Leia races home aboard her starship, custodian of the stolen plans that can save her people and restore freedom to the galaxy….”
STAR WARS: ROGUE ONE (2016)
Directed by Gareth Edwards
If you are familiar with the opening crawl from Star Wars: A New Hope (1977), then you are already familiar with the last third of Star Wars: Rogue One. With Disney now in control, we will see Star Wars movies to fill every nook and cranny in the mythos. Rogue One is just the beginning, and it’s a logical place to start. A New Hope began mid-action. Princess Leia is under attack and captured by Darth Vader, but R2D2 and C3P0 have escaped his clutches with the plans to the Death Star. Did we need an entire movie to see how they got there?
Of course we didn’t. That’s why George settled for an opening crawl. The story of how the Death Star plans got into Leia’s hands has gone through many iterations over the years. The original Star Wars radio drama was one variation. In another, the video game Dark Forces, you steal the plans yourself as a character named Kyle Katarn. Now we have the official story featuring a new band of rebels: Jyn Erso (Felicity Jones), Cassian Andor (Diego Luna), K2S0 (Alan Tudyk), Bodhi Rook (Riz Ahmed) and the charismatic pair of Chirrut Îmwe (Donnie Yen) and Baze Malbus (Jiang Wen). They are assisted by the forces of Saw Gerrera (Forest Whitaker), an extremist character originally from the Clone Wars television series. Together they must get those Death Star schematics into the hands of the Rebel Alliance.
If only it didn’t take so long to do it.
Rogue One is a long running movie, with a final battle that is stunning eye candy but too slow. As X-Wings, Tie Fighters, Y-Wings and new ships such as Tie Strikers and U-Wings do battle over the planet Scarif where the Death Star plans are stored, you get to watch…someone trying to flip a master control switch. Someone describing the location of the switch. Someone trying to locate a file in an archive. Someone trying to align an antenna and send a file. Almost sounds like another day at the office, and it takes forever to get from A to B.
Fortunately, Rogue One delivers in other respects. Planets new and old (you’re gonna shit your pants when you see which old) are to be seen. One strength of the original trilogy was the variety of planets. We visited five different worlds: desert, ice, cloud, swamp and forest. The prequel movies brought fire and water planets. Rogue One debuts the exotic Jedha, a spiritual home of the Jedi religion and a source of the Kyber crystals that power their lightsabers. There is also a tropical paradise planet, torn up and exploited by the evil Empire.
There are also cool new ships and stormtroopers to feast your eyes on. The coolest of these are the black Death Troopers, the personal force of Director Krennic (Ben Mendelsohn). Krennic is the prime villain of the film, an ambitious yet bumbling higher-up in the Empire who finds himself on the wrong side of Governor Tarkin (a CG Peter Cushing) and Lord Darth Vader himself. And as you shall see in the climax of the film, being on the wrong side of Darth Vader is not a place you want to find yourself. Mendelsohn shines in the role, especially in any scene in which he is paired with Mads Mikkelsen who portrays Jyn’s father Galen Erso. The character of Galen Erso is revealed to have made a major covert move in the war, that changes A New Hope in one significant way.
In trying to please Star Wars fans who weren’t into The Force Awakens or the prequel trilogy, perhaps Rogue One went too far. A film with Tarkin as a major villain is a Star Wars fan’s dream, but CG isn’t at the stage yet where he looks perfect. The uncanny valley strikes again, and somewhere between your eyes and brain, you can tell something is “off” about the character. The same can be said about another surprise cameo from the past. Other characters seem shoehorned into the film without a good reason. (Was there any logical reason to see Pignose and his friend, Scott?) On the other hand, there is some very clever use of original, unused footage from 1977 to bring other characters back who absolutely should be there. You’ll know the shots when you see them. Best, and most significant of the nods to the past are appearances by Bail Organa (Jimmy Smits) and Mon Mothma (Genevieve O’Reilly), two senior leaders of the Rebel Alliance.
Felicity Jones and Diego Luna are as fantastic as Mendelsohn is. Jones can do more acting with her face than most can do with 10 lines of dialogue, but her character isn’t fleshed out. We know a little bit about who she is, but not about what makes her tick and what she feels. Luna’s Cassian Andor seems to have more depth. He seems to have some more skin the game. Jyn Erso is just along for the ride until she changes her mind mid-way and does a complete 180. Too many times, characters don’t take actions that are consistent or logical.
The biggest flaw with Rogue One is you already know how it ends. And if you don’t, you will be able to predict death scenes well in advance, so obviously are they telegraphed.
What makes Rogue One special despite its flaws are the ways it brings childhood dreams to the big screen. For decades, kids have been flying their X-wings through the back yard, strafing their stormtroopers on invented planets. Others lucky enough to have an AT-AT in their collection enjoyed target practice with a group of Rebel soldiers. Younger fans brought up on Star Wars video games will enjoy settings and action right out of the Jedi Knight series. Rogue One also lifts the veil on the Empire a little bit, an organization we actually see little of in the original trilogy. Think about it. Most of the time, you were following around Luke and his friends, on the run from the Empire and doing their own thing. You didn’t see much of what life under the Empire is like. Now you do. Mass electronic surveillance, police state tactics, punishment and coverups are the order of the day.
The last issue to discuss is the score by Michael Giacchino, which is intentionally different from a John Williams soundtrack. It is different and good, but lacks the standout themes that the saga films are known for. That was the right direction to take, as Rogue One should and does feel like a different kind of Star Wars movie. It should not be confused with the concurrent saga films, which follow the story of the Skywalker family.
It’s not Giacchino’s fault that Rogue One doesn’t deliver the same kind of awe-inspiring story of the other films. While it does venture into the mythos of the Force via the blind guardian Chirrut Îmwe, it is not intended to unveil the same kind of chilling revelations. There is no “I am your father” moment. There is no self-discovery of inner power as we saw in the past with Anakin, Luke and Rey. Instead Rogue One travels the road of the soldiers, the grunts on the ground fighting the Empire both openly and secretly. There are no Jedi to save them, no chosen ones. Only luck, if you believe in that sort of thing.
The most encouraging thing about Rogue One is how “right” it was done. Its heart is in the right place at all times. When the prequels came out to fill in the blanks, they left us more puzzled than anything. Wait…Darth Vader built C3P0? Obi-Wan was actually trained by Liam Neeson? Princess Leia’s mother died in childbirth even though Leia remembered her as being “beautiful, but sad?” Rogue One doesn’t trample on the continuity at all, it only enhances it. And that’s all we really needed.
It was bands like Warrant, and albums like Cherry Pie, that made the 1991 grunge onslaught inevitable.
If Motley Crue were the poor man’s Kiss, and Poison were the poorer man’s Motley Crue, then Warrant are the pauper’s Poison. Heck, Poison’s C.C. Deville even shows up on guest lead guitar on Cherry Pie‘s title track. Think about that a moment. How bad do a band have to be to warrant (no pun intended) a C.C. Deville guest guitar solo? Guitarists Joey Allen and Erik Turner even confessed to having guitar tutors in the studio helping them come up with their own lead work.
Cherry Pie was an improvement in some regards over the prior album Dirty Rotten Filthy Stinking Rich. The second single, “Uncle Tom’s Cabin”, remains a high point for this band. Swampy bluesy guitars and a kick ass melody? Who cares if that’s not Warrant playing on the acoustic intro (it’s singer Jani Lane’s brother Eric Oswald), and so what if that’s not Warrant on the banjo (that’s producer Beau Hill)? “Uncle Tom’s Cabin” is one of those rare Warrant songs that you just have to get. Instead of singing about girls, Jani chose to write a story about a murder and a coverup. It’s far more entertaining than “She’s my cherry pie, put a smile on your face ten miles wide.”
Speaking of “Cherry Pie”, as embarrassing as it is, did you notice that’s not Jani Lane on the opening scream? It’s an uncredited Dee Snider, sampled from Twisted Sister’s song “I Want This Night (To Last Forever)”. Guess who produced both albums? Beau Hill. Rather, he overproduced the hell out of both albums. Rather misleading.
Warrant’s biggest hit was a ballad, and so Cherry Pie has more. “I Saw Red” was glossy and enhanced with piano, but the acoustic version that was later released as a B-side was better. The second ballad, “Blind Faith” had more heft, though it is little more than a rewrite of “Heaven”. Another acoustic track called “Thin Disguise” was even better than either of these songs, but was relegated to a B-side. Too bad. This album could have used it.
Warrant are better when just rocking out. There are a couple indispensable Warrant rockers on Cherry Pie. “Mr. Rainmaker” is remarkably powerful with dark clouds. It’s in the same mold as “Uncle Tom’s Cabin”, with a chorus that is still memorable today. “Bed of Roses” and “Song and Dance Man” are strong also-rans. There are other notable songs (“Sure Feels Good to Me” set speed records for this band) but on the whole they are a harsh blend of sound-alikes.
Buyers should be aware there are two versions out there of Cherry Pie, “clean” and “dirty”. The “clean” version is missing the track “Ode to Tipper Gore”, and has a naughty word beeped at the start of the Blackfoot cover “Train Train” (1979). How unexpected it was to hear that beep, and how ripped off did we feel since it was not advertised as a censored version? A beep in a rock song is a rare thing indeed. If you get the uncensored version, you’ll hear the “All a-fuckin’ board!” intro correctly, which is important since “Train Train” absolutely smokes. “All a-BEEPin’ board!” just didn’t cut it. Covering “Train Train” was one of the best decisions Warrant made on this album. Warrant transforms it from a hard southern rocker to a plain old hard rocker, but the transformation works and the groove is the only solid one on Cherry Pie.
As for “Ode to Tipper Gore”, it is just a joke track made up of naughty outtakes from Warrant concerts spliced together into one stream of “fuck”. (Tipper Gore was behind the PMRC, the scourge of 1980s censorship.) It is included on the 2004 Sony remastered edition, along with two bonus tracks. Strangely enough the two bonus tracks have nothing to do with this album. “Game of War” is the long-sought 1988 demo that garnered Warrant attention at the labels. It’s unpolished but you can hear how an A&R person looking for the next Poison would have signed this band. Finally there is a track called “The Power” from a 1992 Cuba Gooding Jr. movie called “Gladiator”. It is the only song on the CD not produced by Beau Hill. Erwin Musper gave the band a less cluttered sound, and the song has a corny stadium-ready stomp like “Rock and Roll, Part 2”.
Although you don’t need the remastered version if you just want to check out Cherry Pie, you do need to at least seek out the uncensored version with “Ode to Tipper Gore”. That way you won’t have to listen to the beep in “Train Train”, which is a song worth having.
I thought it would be fun to re-post old chapters of Record Store Tales that you may have missed. Enjoy this Holly-Jolly re-post!
RECORD STORE TALES Part 255:‘Twas the Night Before Christmas
December 24th. One of our busiest days of the year. Not the busiest though – that would often fall on the last Saturday before Christmas, on the 23rd, or our annual Boxing Day sale on the 26th. Nearly two months of buildup and hard work, and it’s all over in what feels like a blink!
The 24th could sometimes be a fun day to work. Not all customers were your typical cranky shopper, although we certainly saw those too. Many of our Christmas Eve customers were simply killing time. Some were spending their Christmas money a little bit early. Some didn’t care what day it was, particularly those who came in to sell CDs for cash.
Yes, many people did come in to sell even on Christmas Eve. A few were looking for credit to buy gifts, some were just looking for money to buy a Christmas dime bag. Either way it was always a busy day, and we were kept moving on our feet. Many dollars exchanged hands on the 24th.
I recall Christmas music was in such demand that a few years I was left with 4 or 5 Christmas CDs left in stock. Often these would be the ones that always sat, year after year, unwanted, unsold. As a person who’s never liked Christmas music, I could never understand the NEED to have it, just to listen to it once a year. To me, that’s what the radio was for. But I wasn’t there to try to analyze the wants and desires of the people. My job was to sell them whatever crap we had left.
The 24th was a messy day. Usually you could count on snow getting tracked in on the carpets (which were only cleaned a few weeks prior – why??). Also, most customers could not seem to put discs back where they found them. This was a combination of poor shelf design, customers who didn’t give a shit, parents that don’t watch their children as they tear the store apart, and people who didn’t know the alphabet. Discs would be everywhere by the end of it all, scattered hither and yon, with no rhyme or reason as to why they were left there.
I always wore a suit and tie on Christmas Eve. This was a tradition begun by the boss and owner in the early 1990’s, but I was the only one who carried on this tradition. The first time we did the suits T-Rev said, “I like it, it makes me feel important!” People do treat you a little differently when you’re wearing a tie.
After all the rushes of customers died down, we’d start hanging the signs in preparation for the big Boxing Day sale on the 26th. Buy 3 Get 1 Free! Or something like that. Not good with any other special offers though, so people would have something to bitch about. “Why can’t you stamp my card too?” Etc. etc.
One year (’96 or ’97) after close at 6 pm, the boss told me to stay late and help him hang these signs. They were big banners for our Boxing Day sale. He climbed a ladder to clip these huge hanging signs from the ceiling. I was there on the floor in my tie trying to hold the sign aloft as he worked. Then he dropped a clip to the ground and we couldn’t see where it landed. And apparently we didn’t have any spares.
On hands and knees I searched and searched. We even got out a flashlight to try to find the damned thing. No luck! Meanwhile the clock ticked and ticked. 6:30. 6:45. 7:00. The parking lot outside was quickly resembling a frozen ghost town, as people raced home to begin their own festivities.
Just as I found the damn clip on the ground, the phone rang. Normally I wouldn’t answer the phone this late after close on Christmas Eve, but my boss answered, and it was my mom.
“When are you sending my son home to enjoy his Christmas Eve dinner with his family?” she chided.
“Oh I’m sorry Mrs. Ladano!” my boss responded. “We’re almost done. You’ll have him soon.”
I think if my mom hadn’t called, we would have been there all night hanging those stupid signs!
At home there was plenty of hot food to enjoy, as I let my body relax after a long day of serious hard work. Thankfully I did not have to work Boxing Day, probably the longest most tiring day of the whole year. I therefore had two whole days to relax, watch movies, and spend time with the family.
On that note, I wish all of you a Merry Christmas. Whether you celebrate the holiday or not, be safe and warm this season. And most important I hope you all make it home on time and don’t have to stay late hanging signs!
THE FOUR HORSEMEN – Death Before Suckass – Live at Saratoga Winners (2012)
mikeladano.com 