How I came to own this turd of a CD: I got this one used, from my old store’s web order service. It was like $9, free shipping if you spend $30, or whatever. So I picked a couple discs and added this one to my cart. Imagine my surprise when it arrived and I took the CD out of the case — somebody had written, in big black magic marker, “MARILLION SUCKS”, on the artwork under the clear CD tray! This was clearly an intended for me, my love of Marillion being well on record. I don’t know who wrote it on there, nobody would own up to defacing the Simmons CD! I brought it back to my buddy Joe who was a little surprised himself. It took a few months, but they finally got in a replacement copy later on.
Thing is, that first copy I got, I was so flabbergasted about the defaced artwork that I returned it before even playing it. If I had played it…I probably wouldn’t have replaced it with the same item. I think I would have picked something else.
This. Sucks!
There’s a reason Gene Simmons isn’t a standup comedian or a motivational speaker. It’s because he’s not very good. As a speaker, he’s a great bass player. Put it that way.
Recorded at two engagements and consisting of Simmons’ well-known philosophy of life, this is beyond tedious. If you want to hear Gene plug his merchandise, or tell you never to get married or trust a woman with your money, then go for it. Vulgar, unfunny, and dull, this is time you won’t get back. Another thing you won’t enjoy is that the CD is formatted with just one track, so it’s impossible to skip around. So even if there were the odd funny bit that he goes on about, I couldn’t skip to it in the car. Useless!
Besides, it’s just an audio of the DVD version — so while it sounds like there are visuals to go with what you’re hearing, there aren’t. Useless!
No stars, crappy careless release, for the Kiss fans who have to have everything (like Big Idiot Me) and nobody else. Take Gene’s own advice, and save your money.
0/5 stars
The final kicker — in 2011, Gene Simmons and Shannon Tweed got (GASP) married!
A short while ago, longtime LeBrain reader Jon from E-tainment Reviews brought up QRIII as a contender for Worst Quiet Riot of All Time. Digging into the discussion, I mentioned 1995’s Down to the Bone as another possible contender. Jon also mitigated QRIII by reminding us of the teriffic single “The Wild and the Young”; the only reason to own it. So the jury is technically still out….
QRIII certainly sucks. I knew that I could do one of two things for its review: Take a shit on the album cover and post a picture of that as the review, or lambaste it verbally and harshly. Unable to decide between the two approaches, I instead decided on a first for mikeladano.com: the very first Choose Your Own Review!(™) Choose A) The Short One, or B) The Long One!
REVIEW A: The Short One
REVIEW B: The Verbose One
QRIII (actually Quiet Riot’s fifth album) did nothing to revitalize their career. DuBrow was fired shortly after, leaving no original members. Quiet Riot soldiered on for one more album and tour anyway (with Paul Shortino on the creatively titled album but redeeming QR), before breaking up. In ’93 they finally reunited with Dubrow intact, on the decently heavy Terrified CD.
QRIII, released in 1986, was a sign of desperation closing in. Rudy Sarzo was out, and in was Chuck Wright. The band had flatlined commercially, so what did they do? They copied everybody else’s formula for success. That means they incorporated an overabundance of keyboards, buried the guitar way down in the mix, sampled everything, recorded sappy and faceless ballads, glossed it all up, and basically snuffed out any spark that this band once had. I felt that they also copied Kiss somewhat in image, with bouffant hairdos and sequined gowns that looked like hand-me-downs from Paul Stanley’s Asylum wardrobe. DuBrow’s new wig didn’t help things.
There is the one song that rises above the stinky, putrid toxic morass that is QRIII. “The Wild and the Young”, despite its reliance on samples, is actually a really strong hard rock rebellion. On this track, the studio techno-wizardry did its trick. The song is irresistible, and remains a personal favourite. The drums kill it, and the gang vocal chorus is catchy as hell. The song was accompanied by a creative video, so I was suckered into buying the tape. If I had only known there was just one good song, I wouldn’t have spent my hard earned allowance on QRIII. More to the point, if I had known just how bad the rest of the album actually was, I would have steeredway clear. Everything is choked down in a mechanical slop of keys and samples. These songs are so nauseating, so tepid, so embarrassing, that I really can’t say it with enough vigor.
The lyrics: mostly pathetic nonsense. “The Pump”:
Well let’s pump pump pump pump, Strike it rich what you’re dreamin’ of, Let’s pump pump pump pump, We’re gonna hunt for gold, Gonna dig for love.
Then, throw in a Plant-esque moan of “Push, push, push, oh! oh! oh!.” Serious.
Lastly there are the sadly misguided attempts at a “soulful” direction, which crash and burn gloriously. I’m sure in the studio, producer Spencer Proffer assured Quiet Riot that he was producing a hit album. This would get them on radio and MTV, he might have guaranteed. Meanwhile, the real situation was more like, “Let’s throw anything and everything to the wall and see what sticks, because this band’s asses are on the line this time.” But it was the band who wrote this slop with Proffer, so they bear equal responsibility for the calamity. I’m sure there were so many drugs in the air that “The Pump” actually seemed clever at the time.
QRIII will be remembered not as the album that knocked Quiet Riot down, (that honor goes to Condition Critical) but as the album that flat-out buried them. They would never be a serious commercial property again.
Do you enjoy the crash and burn of an astonishing train wreck? QRIII is for you.
New releases were almost always Tuesdays. There are only so many Tuesdays in a year, and many music stars avoid releasing their albums on the same day as a rival’s. Others like to go head to head, or try to beat other artists to the punch by releasing their albums early. Record labels plan release strategies around these Tuesdays like generals going to war. Advertising blitzes are ordered, interview campaigns co-ordinated, and personnel rallied.
Most often, bands didn’t want to compete with rival bands over limited consumer dollars. On June 14, 2005, the three big releases we stocked that day weren’t fighting over the same customers. Foo Fighters’ In Your Honor was the album I had been waiting for, but my good buddy Dan Slessor from Kerrang! magazine sent me a UK copy with the bonus track “The Sign” so I was going to keep waiting until it arrived. In Your Honor and its single “Best Of You” remain highlights of the Foo œuvre. I expected steady sales.
On the same day, the Backstreet Boys returned from a lengthy hiatus. Extending that hiatus was the release date of their comeback CD Never Gone (ha ha) which was pushed back almost a year. I didn’t expect much mileage out of this album. Then in the rap section, we had Fat Joe. All Or Nothing was the name of his album. Rap was usually a quiet but reliable seller. Although some rap albums were sluggish and often died quickly, if you ordered in conservative quantities we could usually do well with rap. You just had to know when to drop the title before people stopped buying it. This is the kind of argument I would get into with our Head Office people all the time. Sometimes they were right, sometimes they were wrong and I was right. However I felt that they often used my well-known love of Heavy Metal music against my arguments, any time I was in favour of dropping a rap or dance title. “You just want to get rid of it because you don’t like it,” they would say. There’s just nothing you can say when somebody has that set in their minds already.
Anyway, on this Tuesday I proved to be wrong about first-day sales predictions. I dug up my journal from that day. And the winner is…
A tie!
Date: 2005/06/14 17:35
I have sold just as many Backstreet Boys as Foo Fighters today.
But nobody bought Fat Joe.
For the record, I’m also the one who predicted that Nick Carter’s solo album would outsell Justin Timberlake’s. It really didn’t turn out at all like that!
I acquired this DVD for ridiculously cheap at my old place of employ via their web order service, but after I left their employ so no staff discount. Its condition is impeccable! Very impressive.
BRUCE DICKINSON – Anthology (2006 Sanctuary)
Bruce Dickinson is that rare kind of artist, one whose solo work has the same level of quality, integrity and emotional impact as the work with his better-known band. I think it is safe to say that most Iron Maiden fans have enjoyed Bruce Dickinson’s solo work, or at least most of it. This DVD Anthology is a complete collection of all of Dickinson’s solo video material in one 3-disc package.
Up first is Bruce’s live video supporting his first solo album whilst still in Maiden, Tattooed Millionaire. This video, which was extremely rare when it first came out (I never located a copy), was called Dive! Dive! Live! and featured Maiden guitarist Janick Gers. It also features every song from that Tattooed Millionaire performed live, plus several B-sides and a handful of covers. No Maiden. As Bruce was proud to say, this video is very raw. Also on the first DVD is the video Skunkworks Live, which was released in the mid 1990’s. It featured Dickinson’s new solo band, also called Skunkworks, featuring guitarist Alex Dickson. I was not a huge fan of Skunkworks, as I found their style (particularly the bass by Chris Dale) not to mesh so well with Bruce’s songs. Most of the Skunkworks album is performed live, plus some older songs and B-sides, and one Maiden cover (“The Prisoner”). This is another very rare performance as once again, the original video was very hard to find.
Disc 2 is the Scream For Me Brazil show, featuring my favourite lineup of Bruce’s band. Roy Z and Adrian Smith on guitars, the hulking Eddie Casilias on bass, and the talented tribal and bizarre Dave Ingraham on drums. This to me was Bruce’s finest moment as a solo artist. The performance itself was never meant to be released at first, this is a rough and raw video feed. However, as grainy as it is, the raw energy and sheer performance chops of Bruce and his ace band come through. The tracklist is a mix of songs from the three albums featuring Roy Z (Balls to Picasso, Accident of Birth, and Chemical Wedding).
Disc 3 is my personal favourite disc, seeing as Bruce’s music videos were rarely shown on Much. Every video is included here. There are some really off the wall videos directed by Storm Thorgerson (check out “Tattooed Millionaire”! Shoes for hats?) and some really cool horror-chiller-theater-type videos directed by Julian Doyle. Further on, I loved “Accident Of Birth” (directed by Bruce himself), mainly because Dave Ingraham makes awesome faces while playing the drums, and is wearing this funny leather aviation hat through the whole thing. But that’s nothing, wait until you see “Road To Hell”. Ingraham is now wearing a gas mask through the whole thing! Julian Doyle’s “Abduction” video is also cool, as Bruce himself is captured by mysterious Men in Black, and experimented upon….
But there are some pretty bad videos too. “Tears of the Dragon” comes to mind, a great song, but a terrible video. Here’s Bruce, looking all pensive…then there’s some weird sumo wrestler looking guy…fire…a beach…Bruce wrecking stuff…I would have preferred to see his band. It was the early 90’s, and this was the kind of video that people were sick of seeing, pompous and self-important. Awful video.
Lastly as a bonus there is an old Samson video directed by Julian Temple. I don’t even know what to say about Biceps of Steel except it’s an odd one! There is also a lot of supplimentary bonus material, including some introductions and explanations from Bruce himself….
This package was extremely well assembled, and is very enjoyable for all Bruce Dickinson fans. You won’t be let down. Completists in particular will appreciate that Bruce is very hands-on with his product and tends to give the fans what they wanted along with stuff they didn’t know existed. Full endorsement from LeBrain.
W.A.S.P. – W.A.S.P. (1997 Snapper Classics, originally 1984)
I remember having this self-titled cassette back in the 80’s, and for whatever reason the word on the street was the album was actually called Winged Assassins. I’m still not sure how that started but strangely enough W.A.S.P. later did an album called Double Live Assassins, so there must have been something to it.
This album was well overdue for a remastering. The original CD sounds tinny and weak, not at all like the way I remember it sounding originally. This CD fixes that. It also adds the bonus track “Animal (Fuck Like A Beast)” which fits right in. I guess Blackie wanted the track to open the album originally but cooler heads prevailed. Anyway, given the opportunity to do a remaster Blackie has restored that song to the beginning of the album as originally intended. The hit single “I Wanna Be Somebody” is now the second track.
If you’re a W.A.S.P. fan, then you already know and love this album and you’re not going to disagree with anything I say about these classic meat n’ metal toons. If you’re not a W.A.S.P. fan yet…well, grab hold of something bolted to the ground when you push play. Blackie & his original cohorts had the pedal to the metal all the way through this disc, with the exception of “Sleeping (In The Fire)”. That “ballad” had a powerful enough chorus to keep you going, even if the verses were too lightweight for us as kids.
But seriously though: “L.O.V.E. Machine”… “The Flame”… “B.A.D.” (enough with the abbreviations!)… “School Days”… everything on this album kicks. Hard, heavy, rated R and sometimes X.
But catchy! That’s the thing, really, isn’t it? Blackie has always said his prime influence was the Beatles. I don’t hear it myself, but he obviously learned a lesson or two about the construction of a melody. Blackie’s songs are memorable and melodic without once giving an inch, or sounding like anything less than heavy metal purity. Unfortunately my feeling is that later on, Blackie’s songs all sounded the same. On this first album, he was writing standouts and some would argue that he’s never reached these heights again.
Bonus material at the end includes the B-side “Show No Mercy” which I also have on a CD soundtrack for a movie called Dudes. Great song. Easily as good as the album. “Paint It, Black” is the only song that sucks. From the Tea Party, to Glen Tipton, Vanessa Carlton and Deep Purple, I’ve never heard a good cover of this song. W.A.S.P.’s is no different.
Packaging is awesome, loaded with cool pics, blood, and Blackie telling you how he sees things. If you’re a fan this remaster is a must. If you’re not yet, this is the logical place to start. It’s one of the few W.A.S.P. studio albums that I would consider essential (the other being Headless Children).
Found in the late 1990’s at Natural Sound in Kitchener.
LEATHERWOLF – Leatherwolf (1988 Island)
I first saw Leatherwolf in a 1988 Hit Parader magazine. Their gimmick was the “triple-axe attack”. Their singer, Michael Olivieri, doubled on guitar so during those twin harmony solos, the rhythm guitar wouldn’t drop out. Yeah, I know, that doesn’t sound like much, now that Maiden have three full time lead guitarists. At the time it was enough to get me interested enough to have a listen. I saw the video for “The Calling” on MuchMusic — instant fan!
This album, originally released on Island records (then home of U2), is quite good. It’s an amalgam of thrash metal’s heaviness and pounding double bass — and glam rock. An odd mixture, but it works. The first album Endangered Species was pretty straight forward thrash, but this self-titled is tempered by keyboards and ballads.
Leatherwolf commences with some sweet acoustics: “Rise Or Fall” soon kicks into gear with some march-style drums and “Genghis Khan” (Iron Maiden)-style riffing. Then, another time change and the song careens into high gear with thick backing vocals, time changes, and guitar harmonies. The aforementioned “The Calling” was the anthemic first single. A fist pumper. I love the riff on this one. Very cool and chunky. The chorus ain’t too shabby either, nor the verses. Although it’s a bit early for a balld, “Share a Dream” is next. Most metal guys out there will probably have no problem skipping this too soft keyboard ballad. I don’t mind it, but it’s a jarring change of pace.
At first you might think “Cry Out” is another ballad, but once the intro is over the song nails it. This one is quite the anthem, with plenty of shouted backing vocals, and power to spare. That was the side closer, and side two was introduced by “Gypsies And Thieves”. Like the album opener, it’s complex with plenty of changes and fast parts. Good for getting back on track. Leatherwolf are a metal band after all, not Bon Jovi!
I was enamored with “Bad Moon Rising”a a teenager. Yes, the CCR cover, but performed as a fast-paced two-minute thrash rocker. Some won’t like it, as a cover is always a dangerous weapon to behold. I always thought it would have made a great theme song to an 80’s horror movie. Remember back when you absolutely had to have a rock theme song in every horror movie? In fact, in the 12th grade I gathered my friends Anand and Danesh with the intent of creating a student film along those lines. Unfortunately we only finished one scene before our star one day just decided to stop showing up at school!
“Princess Of Love” is not a ballad, but it is quite keyboard heavy and gothic. Another winner in my books. “Magical Eyes” is one of the only dull songs on the record. It’s heavy, but inferior in quality to a song like “Rise Or Fall”. Skip button territory. Because it would have been folly to end the album on anything but, “Rule The Night” is a metallic anthem. Shout-able choruses redeem the album. Leatherwolf threatens to run off the rails once or twice, but it always centers itself before it’s too late.
As you have seen, Leatherwolf walks the fine line between thrash metal and commercial pop metal. As such the band never fell in with either camp and broke up after the next album Street Ready, which was actually way better than this one. Some closed-minded listeners didn’t get this strange mixture of seemingly contradictory styles. That’s too bad. There’s a lot to like here. The only real drawback to this CD is the 80’s production values by Kevin Beamish. It’s a little too dense, a little too echo-y.
The band reunited in the 90’s with the live Wide Open CD, and went through several lineup changes in the lead vocals department. Olivieri left to be replaced by former Racer X singer Jeff Martin who did some awesome demos with them (check them out). Then he in turn was replaced by ex-Crimson Glory singer Wade Black on the studio album World Asylum. When he left, World Asylum was re-recorded with Olivieri back on vocals and retitled New World Asylum! Whew! And I believe the band are working on new music as you read this. Stay tuned.
Uncle Meat is former co-worker, now friend. He worked at one of the other record store locations for about a year. Back inPart 78, he told his side of the story, but I thought I should return the love.
RECORD STORE TALES Part 258: Uncle Meat
My first encounter with the man known as Uncle Meat (his parents still call him Eric) happened in 1987. I didn’t meet Meat in 1987; I met Meat officially in the 1990’s when he was hired at one of our stores. As we chatted about people we both knew, we pieced it together: Both of us were friends with a talented local singer/songwriter named Rob Szabo. Way back in the 80’s, Rob was in a band then called Under 550, and they won the Battle of the Bands at Grand River Collegiate Institute in ’87. I remember they knocked out a version of Rush’s “YYZ”. They were sent to the next round, to battle it out regionally at the Center In the Square.
They added a lead vocalist for the big competition, and temporarily changed their name to Over 550. 550 lbs was the total combined body weight of the band. They were just under 550 lbs, until they added the singer. Get it? They were up against a neighbor of ours, George, who was playing bass in a band called Zephyr. Also in the running were such luminaries as Stomach Acid, and F.U.H.Q.
It was when discussing this gig that Uncle Meat and I realized we were both in the same place at the same time — except he was on the stage and I was in the crowd! I have a distinct memory of watching a very heavy thrash metal band. They were just too heavy for most in attendance, but they had chops and a good singer. That singer was Meat. One thing I’ll never forget about his set is this: a whole row of long-hairs ran down in front of the stage during the first song, and banged their heads through it all. When Meat had played his two songs, they went back to their seats. I’d never seen anything like it before, at that tender age of 15.
Spring 1991 – Uncle Meat singing “Fairies Wear Boots” with Heavy Cutting
Many years later, I worked a shift at the store with Uncle Meat, and that was our first “official” meeting. I remember that it was a pre-Christmas shift, and I was helping out another store. It was the two of us and Meat’s arch-nemesis, a girl who did not get along with him at all. (The story of why was recounted in Top Five Discs That Got Us In Shit.) It was a fun shift, busy as hell, and I remember stopping at an HMV store on my way home and picking up a Savatage CD (their then-latest, Wake Of Magellan).
Here I am, almost three decades later, remembering that night in ’87 like it was yesterday. I could tell you details like what jacket I was wearing (a dark blue leather one). I could tell you who I went with: Bob, Scott, and Todd Meyer. I couldn’t tell you who won anymore, but I do know this: It was fate. It was fate that Meat and I should meet. When we work together on a project, it’s peanut butter and jam. Thanks for friendship Uncle Meat, and thanks for contributing so much to mikeladano.com.
Same night, same gig: Szabo on axe shreds some Judas Priest.
Listen to that fucking singer!
When Rudy Sarzo rejoined Quiet Riot, re-completing the classic Metal Health lineup, there wasn’t much fanfare. There also wasn’t much fanfare for this album which came and went without so much as a whisper. The reason is pretty simple. Like most of Quiet Riot’s post-1983 output, it’s not that great.
It’s better than I feared though. Some of these new songs are darnright good. “Against The Wall” is the best of the new songs, a rocker that would have fit on Condition Critical as one of the best tunes. It’s a peppy, upbeat motivational rocker. “Angry” is also not bad, being pretty heavy with a great vocal delivery from DuBrow. It is incredible that right up until his death, Kevin DuBrow’s voice was as strong as ever. “The Ritual” is a groover, something previously unknown for Quiet Riot. It’s mean and nasty and it works really well.
The rest of the new material isn’t all that hot. Quiet Riot’s problem has always been poor songwriting. Much of their best material were either covers or co-writes. There are awkward choruses that just don’t hit the spot; bridges and verses that jar with the riffs. These songs don’t sound like completed songs, they sound like a bunch of parts stuck together. Witness “Too Much Information” (which I actually like the lyrics to quite a bit), “Don’t Know What I Want”, “Alive and Well”, and “Overworked and Underpaid”. These are not great songs. They have neat parts and nice bits buried within them, but as a whole…sorry, no. There is also one truly awful song, the funk-crap of “Slam Dunk (Way To Go)”. What an awful song. Truly a terrible, terrible song that never should have made it past the demo stage.
There’s one previously released track, the AC/DC cover “Highway To Hell” (previously released on the AC/DC tribute album, Thunderstruck). It’s OK, but let’s face it, very few bands can cover AC/DC. Carlos Cavazo can’t play that rhythm part and make it sound right. Sarzo’s bass is a little too bouncy. Otherwise, it’s an OK cover, but once again Quiet Riot are padding out albums with covers…
The record company made them re-record six of the old classic tracks, and here they are tacked onto the end. Some are OK. “Don’t Wanna Let You Go” (one of my personal favourite Quiet Riot songs) has been rearranged acoustically. Carlos’ acoustic guitar is beautiful, and because this song presents a new arrangement, I think it’s worthy of inclusion. The rest offer very little of interest. Why re-record old classics? There’s no real artistic reason, only financial reasons. I guarantee you that you will not replace your old copy of “Metal Health” with this re-recorded version. And the new version of “The Wild and the Young” is just bad, bad, bad. All the techy-uniqueness of the original has been replaced by pseudo-heaviness and funk. Yes, funk, there’s a funky break right in the middle that should have been excized. It’s just awful.
As an album, Alive and Well has enough good going on to make it listenable, but this is no comeback. This is treading water, zero growth. Amazon is loaded with positive reviews, fanboy-ish as they are. Well, I am the biggest Quiet Riot fan around. And I’m just being objective here when I say this: Unless you’re die-hard like me, you don’t need this album.
Soundgarden was one of the first Seattle bands I tweaked onto, mainly because Soundgarden (and Alice in Chains) were the most metallic in their approach. I refused to call them grunge — not with riffs this Sabbathy and a singer who could have been Ronnie James Dio’s protege!
Soundgarden broke up for 13 years, and Chris Cornell started (in my opinion) a lucklustre solo career, while Matt Cameron fared better as the longtime drummer in Pearl Jam. There’s a certain renaissance for these kinds of bands now, what with recent critically acclaimed albums by Alice in Chains and Pearl Jam (and that new studio Soundgarden record) being very well received. Telephantasm acts as a sort of “Anthology” collection. Back in the 90’s this deluxe edition would have been considered a boxed set. Just that today, we’ve done away with the box! It’s not quite a greatest hits set (live versions of “Jesus Christ Pose” and “Pretty Noose” are subbed into for the familiar singles), and not quite a rarities set (9 of the 24 tracks are rare or unreleased).
What Telephantasm is, is a really good overview of one of Seattle’s best. From the Deep Six compilation to their final pre-breakup album Down on the Upside, this set chronologically presents Soundgarden at their very best, live and in the studio. Personally I haven’t listened to old Soundgarden in a while. I have a bunch of albums and singles at home, but after I quit the record store, I reverted back to my metal roots and didn’t listen to Soundgarden much anymore. For me, this was almost like the first time again. Hearing the songs in this new context didn’t take away from what they were on albums either.
Outstanding classics for me include: “Fopp”, “Superunknown”, “My Wave”, “Dusty”, “Burden In My Hand”, “Rusty Cage”, and “Spoonman”. I mean, every fan of musicianship absolutely needs a song in their collection with a killer spoons solo!
Outstanding rarities for me were: the video mix of “Fell On Black Days”, and live versions of “Pretty Noose”, “Flower”, “Blow Up The Outside World”, and a frenetic “Jesus Christ Pose”. Hard to believe that Cameron can play those complex rhythms live. Unbelievable!
Of course there is the much hyped “Black Rain”, an unreleased track from the Down on the Upside sessions. Sounds great. Could have been written for Badmotorfinger. Liner notes are excellent. There are two essays, one by guitarist Kim Thayil (who seems like one of the coolest guys in rock). There are a handful of photos and exhaustive credits. I’m not too keen on the cover art, but there is a big fold out revealing the whole thing, and it’s quite expansive.
Of course there’s the DVD, for some this will be worth the price of purchase alone! This is a pretty comprehensive collection of music videos including uncensored and international versions. For new fans who are upset that they didn’t get the studio versions of “Jesus Christ Pose” or “Pretty Noose” on the CDs, they are here on the DVD.
There is a bonus track on some versions — the unreleased song “The Telephantasm”. However the best way to get that song is to buy the 7″ single, which also includes a killer, killer live version of “Gun”. This is a brand new live version by the reunited band. If you want the truly complete picture of Telephantasm, go out and get that single while you still can. Also required, but much more expensive and still unacquired by me: There is a bonus track on the deluxe vinyl version of the album: “Beyond the Wheel”, live by the reunited band. This is on a included 7″ single, which I would very much like to get.
Lastly I’ll have to say a few words about the mastering of this album. Unfortunately the “Loudness Wars” can add Soundgarden to its body count. The album was mastered way too loud, and it really takes its toll on the sound. You can really hear it on the cymbals. It’s unfortunate, since so many of these songs are previously unreleased. This is the only way you can hear them, and it’s not as good as it should be, thanks to the record company mastering this damned thing too loudly.
Bought at HMV, Stone Road Mall, Guelph ON, on import for $29.99 in 1996.
BLACK SABBATH – The Sabbath Stones (1996 IRS)
The Sabbath Stones, a record-company cash-grab, is a greatest hits compilation of Sabbath’s Tony Martin years (mostly) plus a smattering of bonus tracks. While it is not perfect, and so many great songs were omitted, it is still a really great listen from start to finish. Tony Martin is probably the most derided of all Sabbath vocalists. Having seen Sabbath live on their final tour with Martin (also including Cozy Powell and Neil Murray) I can say that I quite enjoyed that incarnation of Sabbath. Also, in 1996 when this was released, albums such as Headless Cross and The Eternal Idol were very hard to find on CD. With that in mind, read my track-by-track breakdown.
1. “Headless Cross” — This compilation is the IRS years (that’s the record label, not the government agency) and thus starts with their first IRS album, Headless Cross. The title track is one of those underground classics. The groove here is monstrous (thanks, Cozy) and the notes Martin hits in the chorus are superhuman. This track, back in 1989, was Sabbath getting back to a truly heavy evil sound. Shame that the keyboards (on all tracks by Geoff Nicholls) are mixed so high!
2. “When Death Calls” — One of my favourites from Headless. Beginning with fretless bass (by temp bassist Lawrence Cottle) and haunting vocals, you’d almost think this was a ballad. By the end, it’s breakneck, with Tony Martin singing these evil lyrics about how “your tongue will blister” when Satan says you’re to die! The guest guitar solo by Brian May will sear your soul.
3. “Devil and Daughter” — A third great track from Headless, an album loaded with great tracks. This is an uptempo one all the way through!
4. “The Sabbath Stones” — From 1990’s underrated Tyr album. I quite liked Tyr. “The Sabbath Stones” is a fast one, wicked, but muddy in sound as was all of Tyr. Once again, Martin hits inhuman high notes by the end.
5-7. “The Battle Of Tyr/Odin’s Court/Valhalla” — These three tracks are actually all bits of one long piece, on Viking mythology. Sabbath at the time were trying to get away from the “Satanic thing”, and Vikings were still evil enough to sing about. Some fans didn’t like that turn of events but I think Sabbath were well ahead of their time. “The Battle Of Tyr” is a keyboard-y bit, just an intro to get you in the mood. “Odin’s Court” is acoustic, with Iommi picking a simple melody while Martin sings about “leading us on, to the land of eternity, riding the cold cold winds of Valhalla”. That takes us into the main meat of the trilogy, the “Valhalla” portion. One of the most powerful of all Martin-era tracks, with great keyboard accents and a memorable Iommi riff, this was my favourite track off Tyr. (It’s either this one, or “Jerusalem”.)
8. “TV Crimes” — A brief departure from the Tony Martin years. In 1992, he was out and Ronnie James Dio, Geezer Butler, and Vinny Appice were back in. The album was called Dehumanizer and even though it did not sell well, a hardcore following now consider it among the very best Sabbath albums of all time, and possibly one of the best things Dio’s ever done. Why it was underrepresented here with just one song is beyond me. There should have been at least three Dehumanizer tracks on this CD (I would have nixed “Devil and Daughter” and “The Sabbath Stones” in favour of two more with Dio singing.) Anyway, “TV Crimes” (the single) is here, and while not one of the best songs from Dehumanizer, it and “Time Machine” were the two most well-known.
9. “Virtual Death” — Tony Martin is back, with Rainbow’s Bobby Rondinelli and Geezer Butler too! That would not last long, as Geezer soon fled back to Ozzy’s solo band to record the Ozzmosis CD. “Virtual Death” is hardly one of the better songs from the Cross Purposes album, a decent record if a bit soft. Having said that, the soft tracks were really quite good and “Virtual Death” was just a grunge song. Black Sabbath influenced that whole scene, but they ended up copying Alice In Chains’ trademark vocal style on “Virtual Death”. That double tracked vocal melody could have come right off Dirt.
10. “Evil Eye” — Another puzzling Cross Purposes selection. I can’t think of a reason to include it. There was once a legend that “Evil Eye” was co-written by Eddie Van Halen, who went uncredited. The same rumour suggested that Van Halen either performed the guitar solo or wrote the solo for Iommi to play. Joe Seigler of black-sabbth.com has busted this rumour as false. My two tracks from this album would have been “I Witness” (fast one) and “Cross Of Thorns” (slow one).
11. “Kiss Of Death” — Finally we arrive at the end of the Martin years with the dreadful Forbidden album. It’s sad because it wasn’t the end that Tony Martin deserved. The album just got out of hand and next thing you know, Ozzy was back. This track was at least one of the strongest ones. A killer, slow closer with some unbelievable Cozy Powell drum fills, if it had been recorded right it would have just slammed you in the face.
12. “Guilty As Hell” — Another Forbidden track, and one of the weakest. “Can’t Get Close Enough” should have been subbed in. Just filler.
13. “Loser Gets It All” — TREASURE! The Japanese Forbidden bonus track, finally available domestically! (Please note, the Cross Purposes Japanese bonus track “What’s The Use” is still unreleased outside Japan, dangit.) This song, a shorty just over 2 minutes, is actually stronger than all the other Forbidden stuff. Good riff, good keyboards, not bad sounding. Shame it was buried on a Japanese release. Why? Who knows. Maybe Tony Martin does. Tony, drop me a line. I’d love to talk.
And that finishes the final IRS album, and the final one for Martin. He’d been replaced once before by Dio, and now finally by the once and future Ozzy, and it’s all over for him. Since then he’s taken a back seat to his more famous predecessors, although he released the strongly reviewed (by me) Scream solo album in 2005. He also did a number of albums with guitarist Dario Mollo, two of which I own but have to revisit.
There are three “bonus tracks”, songs that were included under license, from the period before the IRS years. The inclusion of these songs really make the album a fun listen.
14. “Disturbing The Priest” — My favourite incarnation of Sabbath was 1983’s Gillan/Iommi/Butler/Ward and this is my favourite song from Born Again. It’s so evil you’ll feel like you need to confess your sins after listening! I have no idea how Gillan managed such demonic screams. Brilliant selection!
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15. “Heart Like A Wheel” — I’m actually quite fond of the Glenn Hughes fronted album, Seventh Star, but this song has no place on this album. Granted Sabbath played it live on the ’86 tour with Ray Gillen subbing in for Hughes, but it’s too slow and bluesy. The title track or “In For The Kill” should have been subbed in.
16. “The Shining” — Tony Martin triumphantly ends the album with his first single with Black Sabbath. “The Shining” has a vintage Iommi riff, and more ungodly high notes. There are early demos of this song from before Tony joined the band, with other singers, as Iommi had this riff a long time before. A 1984 demo entitled “No Way Out” was recorded with Ian Gillan’s short-lived replacement singer, David “Donut” Donato. Then it was re-written and re-sung by Ray Gilllen, and this version was recently released on the Eternal Idol deluxe edition. Tony Martin’s version then is the third incarnation of the song that I have, and it’s a triumphant one. I love the way this album was bookended with Tony Martin songs.
That’s the CD: 80 MINUTES LONG! You just can’t argue with cramming that much music onto one disc. And yes, you can get 80 minutes onto a CD, and this album is the proof.
While I have argued against the inclusion of some songs, by and large this is a well-made compilation, for a record company cash-grab. Considering the Martin years have been buried, I think it is well worth owning. I listened to it all the time.
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