Part 116: IRON MAIDEN’s Gonna Get Ya…No Matter How Far! (The first 10, in 2 CD picture discs!)

Alright folks, strap yourselves in and get ready for the ride.  After the positive feedback from my series of Kiss reviews, I’ve decided to go with popular demand and do all the Iron Maiden next.  We’re going to talk about every studio album, every live album, every compilation, and every rarity that I have access to.  But why not start off with a Record Store Tale?  Here’s how I acquired rare editions of the crucial first 10 albums….

 RECORD STORE TALES PART 116:

IRON MAIDEN’s Gonna Get Ya…No Matter How Far!

My love of Maiden is well documented.  The very first blog here at LeBrain’s Record Store Tales, Part 1, was called “Run To The Hills”. It describes the first time I ever heard the band.  I don’t need to explain to you why I love Iron Maiden.  If you’re reading this, chances are that you already understand.  Iron Maiden are more than just a band.  They are a passion.  With a band like Maiden, the fans strive to own everything.

The setting:  Early 1996, when we still carried new CD stock.  One of our suppliers dropped off a brand new catalogue.  Inside, was a new listing.  An exciting new listing!

Iron Maiden were reissuing their first 10 albums in 2 CD editions, with a bonus disc of B-sides!  Picture discs!  Iron Maiden, Killers, The Number of the Beast, Peace of Mind, Powerslave, Live After Death, Somewhere In Time, Seventh Son, No Prayer, and Fear of the Dark!  Knowing that Maiden usually released a minimum of two singles per album, with a minimum of 2 B-sides per single, this was a MUST for me.  I didn’t have all the Maiden singles.  Not even close.  Some of these songs, like “Burning Ambition” and “Invasion”, I’d never even heard before!  Now I was going to have the chance to own them on CD.

The discs were expensive, even with my staff discount.  But there was absolutely no way I was missing these.  As an added incentive, I didn’t even own all the Maiden albums on CD yet.  Most of these albums I still only owned on cassette or vinyl!  So really, it was a win-win situation.  Not only was I getting the B-sides, but I was also getting all the Maiden albums on CD with a minimum of overlap with my existing collection.  Plus, these were picture discs with Derek Riggs’ singles artwork.  Picture discs were something of a novelty at the time.  Today, most CDs are picture discs and nobody cares if they are.


My boss warned me:  “If you order these, you better make sure you buy them all.”  There was absolutely no question of that, I’m surprised he even mentioned it, knowing what a collector I am.  It’s too bad we didn’t order more, for stock.  The rarity of these discs has shown that we could have sold them quickly, or better yet, hung onto them for a couple years and jacked up the price once they were out of print.

The supplier we were ordering from, the name of which escapes me, was a small-time supplier, and usually couldn’t get everything we ordered.  They had about a 50% success rate.  Yet he listed all these European imports that our main supplier usually shied away from.  The Maiden reissues were all from Europe.  I crossed my fingers.  I wanted all 10.  Not “some”, but all!  “Some” would not do it!

A week later, the first five Maidens arrived!  The following week, another chunk of Maiden shipped!  They only failed to get me one disc: Fear of the Dark.  Resolving to get it somehow, it turns out I didn’t need to worry about it.  Two weeks later, even that one arrived.  Total expenditure:  About $300 with taxes!  I had all 10.  My Maiden B-side collection:  almost complete!  [Note:  When I go through the Maiden reviews, we’ll cover all the B-sides, including songs that are not on these deluxe editions.]

I settled in for some long, long nights of listening.  I made a compilation tape of all the B-sides that I had (including up to the current album, The X Factor), and it ended up being 3 tapes, 100 minute cassettes, which I still have.  To knock so many songs off my wishlist in one fell swoop like this was the kind of thing I lived for.  This was the perk of working in a record store.  What a score!  Today, I don’t know anybody else who has the full set of 10.

Be sure to check back in the coming days and weeks for all the reviews, starting with The Soundhouse Tapes, to the present day…

REVIEW: The Polyphonic Spree – Together We’re Heavy (2004)
 
THE POLYPHONIC SPREE – Together We’re Heavy (2004 Hollywood Records)
 

Together We’re Heavy= The Beatles + Queen on ‘roids. I can’t think of a better distillation of The Polyphonic Spree. I usually hate it when people describe albums as, “Take band A, mix in band B, add a sprinkle of C, and you get this!” It’s a lazy explanation, but in this case I think it works. If early-middle period Queen took the fearlessness of the Beatles to explore multiple genres and call it rock, then the Polyphonic Spree is the logical next step beyond that.

It’s not that simple though. The Polyphonic Spree, all dressed in colourful robes like some sort of rock choir revival, barely use rock instruments. Oh sure, Tim DeLaughter (ex-Tripping Daisy frontman) plays guitar as do other members of this band, but the dominant instruments in the mix are the horns and strings: Trumpet, flugelhorn, trombone, viola, french horn, double bass. At times it can be a cacophony, mixed very loudly in the speakers, but it seems controlled. Every blast of a trumpet sounds like it was labored over to be there at that exact moment.

How are the songs? Well the band seems to call them “sections”. Each one is catchy and memorable, and melodies recur throughout the album, rhyming like poetry. My favourite section is 12, “Hold Me Now” (actually track 2 on the CD, but let’s not get into that). From that familiar piano riff that you think you’ve heard before, to the dense, intense and plaintive chorus.  This song is a keeper.  Dramatic.

And that’s a word to use: dramatic! If you like a flair for drama in your rock music, and aren’t afraid of a lil’ french horn, then pick up Together We’re Heavy by The Polyphonic Spree. For what it is, this album is absolutely perfect, flawless, a gem merely waiting for your discovery.  It came with a bonus DVD too, The Adventure of Listening, with live stuff and Tim DeLaughter talking about the Spree.

4/5 stars.

REVIEW: Motley Crue – Generation Swine (1997)

MOTLEY CRUE – Generation Swine (1997, 2003 Motley Records reissue)

It is hard to believe that the mighty Crue, who had released the record of their lives in 1994 (Motley Crue with Corabi on vocals) put out this bunk next. Such was the 90’s. Fans did not embrace Corabi as predicted, the album flopped, and immediate pressure was on the Crue to kiss and make up with Vince Neil.  So that’s what they relectantly did. 

The Crue were already in experimental mode when Corabi was still on board. They had already said that this album wouldn’t be produced by Bob Rock (a shame, that was) and that it would be more “raw” and “heavy”. Then, as time went on, you started hearing things like, “The new album is Motley Crue meets Sisters of Mercy with the intensity of Nine Inch Nails”. Bands that have nothing to do with the Crue’s roots. In the end, the band was spinning tires so fast that Corabi couldn’t handle it anymore and Vince was brought back. All of this is well documented in the latter half of Motley Crue: The Dirt.  A five-piece Crue with Neil singing and Corabi on rhythm guitar was briefly considered (damn! that would have been sweet!), but it was the original four-piece sans Corabi that became the next Motley Crue lineup.

And what they made together was just…what the fuck is this?  Remember when Crue showed up at the AMA’s and lip-synced that new techno-y sample ridden version of “Shout at the Devil”?  What the hell was that?

I place the blame squarely on the head of producer Scott Humphrey. Humphrey was actually from around here.  People who know Humphrey personally have said he’s always been a tech-head.  Just listen to his records with Rob Zombie.  That’s fine.  But here, Humphrey uses all his techno-wizardry to suck the life out of Motley Crue, no mean feat. The band must also share the blame, as they should have stopped the directionless proceedings before it got too far. In the end though, Motley Crue continued on with this sound, even over Mick Mars’ very strong objections. Mars was sidelined in the recordings, but it turns out Mick was right about Generation Swine.

Generation Swine (formerly: Personality #9 while Corabi was in the band) is the most confusing, un-Motley disc ever recorded. The drums are processed and sampled to the point where there may as well have been no live drummer.  It may as well be a computer rather than Tommy Lee, for what it sounds like.  The guitars, also sampled, squeezed, processed and spat out by a computer, show little of Mick’s spark and feel. I can see why Mick was pissed off.  Vince’s return was hardly worth bally-hooing, as he’s barely able to wheeze out a passable melody here. In fact, both Sixx and Lee take lead vocals, too. What kind of reunion album is that?

The real shame of it is that these songs could have turned out quite well. Check out “Let Us Prey”. It is easy to imagine what this sounded like when Corabi was singing it. In fact he insists that his vocals are still intact in the mix, and that you can hear him scream on the choruses. Corabi also says his rhythm guitar parts on the album are intact too.

But I digress. The point is, songs like “Let Us Prey”, “Generation Swine”, “A Rat Like Me”, and “Anybody Out There?” show enough of the original Motley spirit that this could have been a halfway decent album. However each of those four songs are choked to death under a muffled blanket of samples, sound effects, bells & whistles, and processed unnatural guitars and drums. It’s a shame because any of those four songs (the only solid hard rockers on this disc of slow paced dreck) had potential. Also decent was the single, “Afraid”, although it sounds more like Def Leppard.

To add weirdness on top of the confusion, the album closes with a track called “Brandon” sung by Mr. Thomas Lee Bass himself. “Brandon, I love you. I love her. She is your mom.” Yes, he actually sings that.  God knows what he was thinking when he wrote that lyric.  Nikki Sixx’s “Rocketship”, a hippy dippy ballad for his wife is slightly better, but why not get Vince, the singer of Motley Crue, to sing it?  Nikki’s not an especially good singer – that’s why he plays bass. Yet he insists on singing three songs, on Vince’s comeback record.  I still don’t get that.

People, do yourself a favour. It doesn’t matter that Vince Neil came back for this album (it was mostly finished before he came back anyway). Check out the 1994 album with Corabi, a truely heavy beast that will probably blow your head off if you’re not wearing a helmet. It is a beautiful record.  This is not.  And don’t worry about the bonus tracks on the reissue.  The demos are no better than the album tracks. Nobody needed a demo of “Confessions” with Tommy singing.

Excluded: A techno song only released on the Japanese disc called “Song To Slit Your Wrist By”. An expensive trinket.  I don’t own it myself.  The only time I saw it up close and personal was at a record show in London, and the vendor was asking $70 for it.

2/5 stars

Part 115: The Rockmobile!

RECORD STORE TALES PART 115:  The Rockmobile!

In the early 2000’s, somebody thought it would be a good idea to spend money on some company cars.  Now, I’m no accountant.  I’m no expert on finances.  But I would have thought it would make more sense to pay mileage cheques on time than to buy a mini-fleet of cars!

They were Azteks.  They were painted in our store colours and had G-I-A-N-T store logos plastered all over them.  It was like driving a giant logo board.  They were hideous.  I only rode in one, once.  They tried to get me to lease one though.

“Hey Mike.  How would you like to drive one of these babies?”

Wha?  Why would I want to when I had my own car that I bought, that wasn’t a big ugly moving billboard?  Let me tell you something people.  They weren’t just ugly, they were fugly!

I guess the idea here was advertizing;  mobile advertizing.  I’m not too sure if that worked.  I don’t know how many people driving down the street would see a car like that and go, “Quick honey, write down that phone number — I need some CDs!”

SAM_0492

Coincidentally, GM slashed the price of the Aztek right around the time we got ours…

I think two or three people drove the Azteks.  I heard they weren’t that great.

One afternoon working in the head office, I overheard a phone call.  A customer was calling in to complain about somebody driving one of our Azteks.  I knew it was Meredith, one of the favourites.  She must have pissed someone off in traffic, like “Hey, that idiot in the CD Car cut me off!  I’m phoning their boss.”  I’d hate to own one of those and somebody see it in my driveway.  “Hey, that’s the guy who only gave me $1 for my Mellencamp!  Let’s go egg his house!”

So, I happily drove my own car instead of one of those ugly RockSuckmobiles.  They were phased out a couple years later.  The great experiment had presumably failed, because the Azteks were no more.  Never to be seen again.  Thank God.

 

 

REVIEW: Journey – Trial By Fire (Japanese import, 1996)

JOURNEY – Trial By Fire (1996, Japanese import with bonus track)

The classic Journey lineup (Steve Perry, Neal Schon, Ross Valory, Jonathan Cain, and Steve Smith) were back however briefly in 1996 with this triumphant reunion album.  I remember in the store in 1996, nobody was buying it.  How sad.  This is among the very best Journey albums.  In fact with Steve Perry’s voice showing a little more weathering and character, and the band having a more mature sound, I think it is the best.

It’s a mellow journey, very much suited to Perry’s incredible pipes.  The opening track, “Message of Love” storms across the speakers with Perry singing as powerfully as ever with Schon’s patented guitar melodies behind him.  Cain tinkles at the ivories at precisely the right moments, while Smith demonstrates the timing and style that makes him a top jazz fusion drummer today.

And that’s just the first song!  The slower but equally powerful “One More” follows, and then we’re onto the first signature Perry ballad.  “When You Love A Woman” was the single, but to me it’s filler.  Much better is the ballad that follows it, “If He Should Break Your Heart”.

“Don’t Be Down On Me Baby” demonstrates Perry’s soul roots.  Whether on the ballads or the rockers, Perry nails every song perfect.  If anybody else was singing on this Journey album, it wouldn’t have half the impact.  As great as the songs are (and I believe they are a collection of Journey’s strongest ever), it is Perry that drives them home with his ballsy, epic delivery.

I don’t want to bother listing all my favourite tunes.  Basically all of them, with the exception of “When You Love A Woman” and the mid tempo rocker “Castles Burning”.  Everything else is great, and distinct from one another.  Each song inhabits its own space, style and sound.  Yet it sounds like a cohesive whole, thanks to expert producer Kevin Shirley.  And Steve Smith makes the ballads as smooth as butter.  Just listen to “Still She Cries”.

The Japanese bonus track is called “I Can See It In Your Eyes”, and is sequenced in the body of the album.  This is a straightforward rocker, perhaps compensating for the lack thereof on the rest of the album.  While not one of the better songs, it does have its place in appeasing those who think Trial By Fire is too soft.

4.75/5 stars.  They should have toured.

Part 114: Albums That Don’t Exist

RECORD STORE TALES Part 114:  Albums That Don’t Exist

I had plenty of requests for albums that didn’t exist.  Or at least, I don’t think they exist.  Am I right or wrong?  Leave a comment.

Who.  Not The Who.  Not The Guess Who.  Just…Who.  I was told that albums by this band exist.  I can’t imagine how a band could be called just “Who”, but the customer swore up and down that’s the band, not to be confused by the other two.

Jewel’s first album, before Pieces Of You.  Maybe she released an indi album?  Regardless, the thought of any showing up in a used CD store in southern Ontario, all the way from Alaska, wasn’t too likely if they existed at all!

Blue Rodeo’s Greatest Hits…but years before they actually released one.  In the mid to late 1990’s A lot of people were baffled by a band that had 7 or 8 studio albums, but no hits collection.  Yet it was insisted to me by a customer that not only did they have a greatest hits CD, but that they’d seen it for sale elsewhere.

Five solo albums, by all five Backstreet Boys, released simultaneously.  A feat to make Kiss jealous, unfortunately such albums do not exist.  Which makes me wonder what the lady was smoking when she mocked me for not knowing about them, since “Walmart has them!”  Don’t know how they got something that doesn’t exist.  But that’s what she said.  I guess that makes me the dumbass.

Black Sabbath 1991, an album that supposedly came between Tyr and Dehumanizer.  The guy kept calling for this album that never existed.  My best guess is that he was looking for Lynyrd Skynyrd 1991?

Comment below!  Do any of these albums exist?

REVIEW: Budgie – “You’re All Living In Cuckooland” (2006)

BUDGIE – “You’re All Living In Cuckooland” (2006 Noteworthy Productions)

24 years passed between this and the last Budgie studio album. Not that you can tell, as “You’re All Living In Cuckooland” sounds like classic Budgie to the last detail. The cover art even looks like classic Budgie! No computer generated images here, and the classic Budgie logo is intact! Drummer Steve Williams has returned, and the guitar slot was filled by the excellent Simon Lees (although I understand Craig Goldy of Dio toured with them a lot).

Right from the first track, “Justice”, you know that Budgie are back. Burke Shelley’s unmistakable voice is as vintage-Geddy as ever, and the sound of this band has hardly changed at all. Maybe there are some slicker effects on the guitars, but the style is 100% Budgie.  The songwriting is still idiosyncratic Budgie, except for some unaccompanied acoustic tracks which Burke wrote alone. Musicianship is in the forefront and production is sharp, although I can’t hear enough bass for my tastes. To me, early Budgie was all about Burke’s slinky bass lines, and I want to hear them!

Highlights include:

  • The solidly heavy “Justice”.
  • “Dead Men Don’t Talk” and its positively squirrly solos.
  • The psuedo-title track, “We’re All Living In Cuckooland”, an acoustic number that remained lodged firmly in my skull for days.
  • “I’m Compressing The Comb On A Cockerel’s Head”, the 8 minute closer with its stuttering tremelo guitar solos. Yet another oddball Budgie song title too. I love it!

Everything here is a winner. No filler.

5/5 stars

Part 113: Destiny (“It’s Like It Was Meant to Be”)

RECORD STORE TALES PART 113:  Destiny (“It’s Like It Was Meant To Be”)

Sometimes, like destiny, something cool arrived on my counter at random. Something I’d been hunting for.  Something special, that hit the spot at exactly the right time.  That was the beauty of used CD’s.  Even more than a box of chocolate, you truly never knew what you were going to get!

For example:

IAN GILLAN – The Best Of

I had pretty much cleaned up on Deep Purple, and I was ready to start exploring the solo projects of people like Gillan, Glover and Lord.  Like it was meant to be, suddenly The Best Of Ian Gillan showed up!  This compilation covered his two most recent solo releases, Tool Box and Naked Thunder.  Both albums are hard to get, and I still don’t have them!  This compilation hit the spot.

I remember Statham coming into the store while I was playing the opening track, “Hung Me Out to Dry”.  He chuckled at the opening screams!  “What is this?” he laughed.  But he respected my choice instead of mocking it which is more than I can say for some of the coworkers!   You never see this stuff used in these parts, but once in a blue moon.  I truly felt like I’d hit a home run!

Another example:

DEEP PURPLE – “Haunted” (CD single)

I’d been planning on ordering this one online. I found it on the German Amazon site, but only there so far.  All the single had was a bonus remix of “Haunted”, but as a Deep Purple completist, this is the kind of rarity that I seek.  CD singles tended to be a European thing and hard to get here.  I was prepared to have to pay up to $15 for this single….

When suddenly a guy brought in not one but TWO promotional copies with the bonus track!  Unmarked promotional copies, as in only the case was marked, which you can replace.  SCORE!  I saved myself some cash on that lucky happenstance, and the other copy sold off the shelf in short order.

A third great example:

JOURNEY – Trial By Fire (Japanese import)

I had been collecting Journey rarities, especially the Steve Perry years.  I saw a Japanese import of the final album they did with him, Trial By Fire, at HMV 333 Yonge in Toronto.  It was $40 or $45.  The bonus track was “I Can See It In Your Eyes”.  It just wasn’t in the budget that day.  I had several Japanese imports in my hands that day, and something had to be sacrificed.  Journey didn’t make the cut.

And then a couple weeks later, one of my regulars, Conrad, sold me a mint condition copy, bonus track intact.  Instead of paying $45, I paid $15!  Score!

REVIEW: The Black Crowes – Before The Frost…Until The Freeze (2009 CD, vinyl)
THE BLACK CROWES – Before The Frost…Until The Freeze (2009 Silver Arrow)
I didn’t know what to expect when I cracked the seal on my brand new vinyl LP of Before The Frost…Until The Freeze. The Crowes do something different every time. Reemember how different By Your Side was from Three Snakes? And how Lions was from both of those?  Not to mention Southern Harmony compared to Money Maker…
The Crowes have done it again, with an album different from their others, and they did it right.  Not that Warhorse was a bad album at all, although it’s one that remains tucked away on my shelves most of the time.  This time, the Crowes are digging way, way back to their roots.  The album is evocative of many eras of American music, from the 1920’s to the 1970’s, with an emphasis on the blues.  There’s also some bluegrass on this album, plenty of acoustics, and a little bit of funk.
And interestingly,a lot of it seems to be recorded live in front of a studio audience. Amazing atmosphere on Before The Frost…Until The Freeze!

I will say that this album should really be owned on vinyl. I own both the vinyl and CD formats, and vinyl is the most enjoyable listen.  The vinyl comes with all 20 tracks in a more logical order.  The CD comes with 10 songs, and a download code to the get the rest.  It’s nice that you can get all 20 songs via download, but I’m too old-school for that. I want to own these songs on some form of plastic.  Some form of physical product.  I want to hear these songs breathe on vinyl, because the Crowes are meant for vinyl.

Here’s your track list for both LPs.  The first record is more mellow, rootsy and acoustic.  The second, more electric and blues-driven.

Record one — Green vinyl!

“Aimless Peacock” – 6:40
“Good Morning Captain” – 3:24
“Been a Long Time (Waiting on Love)” – 7:47
“Greenhorn” – 7:12
“Appaloosa” – 3:35
“The Shady Grove” – 4:42
“The Garden Gate” – 4:21
“Shine Along” – 4:47
“Roll Old Jeremiah”- 4:40
“Houston Don’t Dream About Me” – 5:05

Record two — White vinyl!

“I Ain’t Hiding” – 5:57
“Kept My Soul” – 5:23
“Lady of Ave. A” – 5:20
“Make Glad” – 4:18
“And the Band Played On…” – 4:12
“What Is Home?” – 5:13
“So Many Times” – 4:53
“A Train Still Makes a Lonely Sound” – 4:23
“Fork in the River” – 4:11
“The Last Place That Love Lives” – 4:57

To give you an example of why you need to hear this on vinyl, the first track, “Aimless Peacock”, is a nice acoustic instrumental. It segues pretty seamlessly into “Good Morning Captain”, a beautiful song. Well, if you buy the CD, “Good Morning Captain” is track 1, and “Aimless Peacock” is track 1 of the free downloads. So you miss that transition.

The best songs for me:

“The Garden Gate” — pure bluegrass. Could have been on the O Brother soundtrack. Beautiful song, amazing song. And this one isn’t even on the CD version, just the vinyl/download.

“I Ain’t Hiding” — wow. You go from the very bluegrass first LP, to this opening track on record two, which is pure 70’s disco funk. That’s why you need to hear this on two LPs! This is track 5 on the CD, which makes its appearance more jarring.

Other standouts include “Appaloosa”, “Roll Old Jeremiah”, Rich’s “What Is Home?”, and “Good Morning Captain”, but really this is a great album, all 20 songs. It’s a great one to just chill and relax to.  I think it’s becoming my favourite Crowes album.  I’m a big fan of Amorica, but when I can find the time to devote to it, I think I prefer Before The Frost…Until The Freeze.

5/5 stars

CD tracklist for the curious:

  1. “Good Morning Captain” – 3:24
  2. “Been a Long Time (Waiting on Love)” – 7:47
  3. “Appaloosa” – 3:35
  4. “A Train Still Makes a Lonely Sound” – 4:23
  5. “I Ain’t Hiding” – 5:57
  6. “Kept My Soul” – 5:23
  7. “What Is Home?” – 5:13
  8. “Houston Don’t Dream About Me” – 5:05
  9. “Make Glad” – 4:18
  10. “And the Band Played On…” – 4:12
  11. “The Last Place That Love Lives” – 4:57

Part 112: Klassic Kwotes IX!

RECORD STORE TALES PART 112:  Klassic Kwotes IX!

1. “I just have this image of Josh shaking his ‘thing'”.  Not actually spoken in-store, this was found on the ground on a piece of pink notepaper, after a gaggle of school girls had left the store.  Odd.

2. “I’ll tell you something, somebody’s getting fat off that Gumbo thing!” said the surly old man when I showed him the price of the Forrest Gump soundtrack.  Too rich for him!

3. “So how is the new N’Sync CD, is it decent?”  Why would you even ask this question of a guy wearing a Kiss shirt?

4. “I hear good things about it.”  My response.  This was a standardized response for if you hadn’t heard the album in question, or had heard it but hated it.  For example, “How’s the new Nickelback?”  The correct answer would have been, “I hear good things about it.” 

5.  Another standardized answer for questions like that:  “If you liked their last album, you’ll like this one.”

6. “Can I try these out?” said the guy holding about dozen discs, 10 minutes before closing time.  (Luckily, we had a policy of shutting down the CD players 15 minutes before close to avoid these situations.)

7. “Sorry man.  These things are on timers.  I can’t even turn it on.”  This is what you said if a simple, “No, sorry man, we’re closing,” wasn’t good enough.  And people believed it!  There was a neat trick.  The headphones were hooked up to these little amps.  But if I shut down the amp, there was a good 20-30 second delay before the music died.  So I covertly could flip a switch to kill the amp, walk across the store, and be doing something else before the customer’s music stops.  Then when they’d say, “Hey, the music stopped, I don’t know what happened,” I would respond:  “Sorry man.  Those things are on timers. We’re closing and they automatically shut down at this time.”  This was reserved for the jerks who abused the players.

8. “Sorry man, this CD is too scratched for me to take,” said I, to the customer selling the disc.  His classic response?  “Fuck!  That’s what you said when I brought it in last time!  But this time I fuckin’ buffed it in Turtle Wax!”

9. When we first opened, we had a big huge sign that said “WE PAY CSAH FOR USED CDS“.

10. The man from the sign company came in to fix the sign.  He said to me, and I swear to God I’m not making this up — he said to me, “That’s Bill.  He spells ‘cash’ wrong on every sign.”

BONUS 11! “Hey man.  You spelled ‘cash’ wrong on your sign you know.”  No kidding?  And Bill fuckin’ spelled it wrong, not me!