Gucci Gang

WTF SEARCH TERMS: Lars Ulrich Trout (Thunder Bay) edition

WTF SEARCH TERMS XL: Lars Ulrich Trout (Thunder Bay) edition

It’s that time again…the 40th time in fact!  It’s those “WTF” search terms that somehow brought people to this site.  Let’s skip the chatter and get to the weird.

  • lars ulrich trout warrant thunder bay ontario

I had to ask Thunder Bay’s hardest rocker, Deke Dekerson, if he could possible explain this one.  He had no idea.  Warrant did open for Metallica in 1990, and our own Uncle Meat has written about it.  There were no dates in Thunder Bay, and I don’t want to know what Lars was doing with a trout.

  • gene simmons vault is stupid

Well, I don’t know about that!  He’s having no problem selling it.  The only thing “stupid” about Vault is that there is no pricing affordable to regular people.

This is a great question!

  • ten game0f galishow

Nooo idea.

  • styx equinox bakelit lemez

You lost me.

  • give me any diolock

I’m not giving you squat!  I think this guy was looking for Lock up the Wolves by Dio?  He could also have been searching for “dicklock“.

  • coverdale page 4cd tour edition box set

Definitely in the “wishful thinking” category.  There wasn’t really such thing as “tour editions” back in 1993, and sadly all you can get to this day is the standard single CD of Coverdale-Page.

  • the swedish penis enlargement pump and me (this definitely is my thing, baby)” by austin d. powers

I admire the amount of effort this person went to, to be as specific as possible.

  • liam payne chenine lozano midnight memories def leppard copyright infringement

I tuned out after reading “Liam Payne”.  The fuck does he have to do with Def Leppard?  I don’t care enough to look.

  • how to work in a record store

You came to the right place, friend!  The one and only and original Record Store Tales can be found right here!

 

 

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WTF Search Terms: jeff vwcj edition

WTF SEARCH TERMS XXXIX:   jeff vwcj edition

It’s time for 10 more WTF Search Terms!  WTF Search Terms are those weird and wacky things that people typed into search engines to get here.  This instalment is a mixed bag, some of which I can explain and some I cannot!

 

1. is jeff vwcj bliw vy blow valuable

This person, with fingers too large for their phone, is asking if Jeff Beck’s Blow By Blow album is valuable.  Would you have figured it out?

2. what year did ozzy do the randy rhodes tribute tour

A reasonable question — except there was no such “tribute” tour.  The Randy Rhoads Tribute live album came out in 1987 and there was no tour to support it.  It was recorded on 1982’s Diary of a Madman tour.

3. has bret michaels and richie kotzen made up

Again, a minor detail is wrong here — Richie Kotzen had an affair with Rikki Rockett’s fiance, not Bret’s.  And I doubt they have spoken since!

4. gucci gang song, rhetorical analysis

You’re in luck!  I already did a lyrical analysis of this Lil’ Pump hit song.  There wasn’t much to analyse in “Gucci gang, Gucci gang, Gucci gang, Gucci gang, Gucci gang, Gucci gang, Gucci gang, Gucci gang.”

It’s all downhill from here, though.  A series of dirty searches from dirty minds make up the remainder:

5. mary wiseman ass

Mary Wiseman is one of the cast members on the new Star Trek.  No pictures of her ass here, sorry.

6. xxx kissing videos in hd bluray

Wait…xxx kissing videos?  Xxx rated videos of people kissing?  Just trying to understand, here.  Glad you’re onto HD though….

7. fuaking juniar

It just sounds dirty.

8. amanda seyfried feet porn

Jesus not again!?  This is the second time!  Well, here is the picture you like, one more time:

9. new boys fucking

Gross.

10. bigbas porn

It’s all about the bass? I dunno. I’m reaching here!

#654: “Gucci Gang” – A lyrical analysis

GETTING MORE TALE #654: “Gucci Gang” – A lyrical analysis

Over the last few months, you may have been aurally assaulted by a track called “Gucci Gang” by a young Florida mumble-rapper named Lil Pump. (Real name: Gazzy Garcia.  I know, I know). Yet another product of proud Florida, Lil Pump boasts being kicked out of Grade 10 – for starting a riot!  An auspicious beginning for the young star who, as of press time, is currently under house arrest.

A guy at work started playing the track “Gucci Gang” just to irritate people.  I tend to really take jokes too far, so of course I grabbed the ball and ran with it.  It’s really awful, which in turn made it funny to watch people cringe at the sound of it.  Lil Pump’s “Gucci Gang” is surely one of the worst songs of the decade, which leaves me baffled as to how it currently has 505 million views on Youtube. Perhaps because it’s so bad, people are listening to it for comedy relief like us? Sort of a Rebecca Black effect?

Lyrics and flow are critical for good rap.  Let’s analyze the lyrics of Lil Pump’s biggest hit.


Oooh, brrrpt, brrpt,
Gucci Gang, ooh, yeah, Lil Pump, yeah, Gucci Gang, ooh
Gucci gang, Gucci gang, Gucci gang, Gucci gang
Gucci gang, Gucci gang, Gucci gang (Gucci gang!)

OK, then.  In rap music, I think it might be important to say your own name. I’m not sure why, but Lil Pump nails it in the first line. Then he repeats the song title a few times, interjecting a few “uhs” and “brrrrrrpts” in between. (Is that the sound of a phone ringing?  The consensus of my lyrical analysis team is that it’s supposed to be a gun sound.  I think it’s a phone.)  The repetition is so you know what song you just clicked on, in case you’re illiterate.

Next up: boast about wealth you don’t have, because you’re shitty with finances:

Spend ten racks on a new chain
My bitch love do cocaine, ooh
I fuck a bitch, I forgot her name
I can’t buy a bitch no wedding ring
Rather go and buy Balmains

My lyrical translation team believes that “ten racks” is $10,000. That’s a lot of money to spend on a new chain, though gold ones go for up to $20,000 on Amazon, so maybe he got a good deal.  But then, Lil Pump complains that he can’t buy a wedding ring for his cocaine-loving “bitch”. This is clearly selfish behaviour. He shouldn’t have spent ten racks on that new chain. His “bitch” needs a ring, but he’d rather go buy Balmains (French designer clothes). Don’t complain that you can’t buy that ring, Lil Pump. Get with the game. Maybe get your “bitch” some rehab for her cocaine problem.

Lil Pump repeats the title again, 12 times for the illiterate, and then repeats the entire first verse again. This requires no further analysis, except maybe to point out an attention deficit problem.

Let’s skip ahead:

My lean cost more than your rent, ooh
Your mama still live in a tent, yeah
Still slanging dope in the jets, huh
Me and my grandma take meds, ooh

“Lean”, like “syzurp”, is a drink consisting of soda and codeine. I’m not sure how that costs more than anyone’s rent, but Lil Pump has already established that finance is not his strong suit. It is implied here that he and his grandmother may both have drug problems.  The fact that he’s boasting about his so-called wealth while making fun of someone’s homeless mother indicates deep insecurity.  What a douche!

None of this shit be new to me
Fucking my teacher, call it tutory
Bought some red bottoms, cost hella Gs
Fuck your airline, fuck your company
Bitch, your breath smell like some cigarettes
I’d rather fuck a bitch from the projects
They kicked me out the plane off a Percocet
Now Lil Pump fly a private jet
Everybody screaming “fuck West Jet!”
Lil Pump still sell that meth
Hunnid on my wrist sippin on Tech
Fuck a lil bitch, make her pussy wet

Yeah, I’m sure all the “bitches” are dying to get with a guy who also fucked his own teacher. While his education suffers he continues to spend his money on clothes. “Red bottoms” cost “hella Gs”, and he boasts about flying on a private jet. Yet let’s remember, he can’t buy a ring for his “bitch”. Something is definitely wrong here. Does Lil Pump have an accountant? Probably not; it’s hard to put “selling meth” on your tax return.  It is obvious that Lil Pump has not learned any lessons from all the broke former one-hit-wonders out there.

“Hunnid on my wrist” means he’s wearing a hundred dollar watch (not that impressive?) and “sippin on Tech” is another reference to that codeine drink. Something tells me that Lil Pump is going to lose that private jet if he doesn’t take better care of his money.  He should also be concerned about his codeine dependency.  That’s serious shit that’ll start giving you health problems early.

Pump then repeats the title (over and over) and first verse again…and again!

Is it popular for the novelty value as a joke?  Is this considered a good track?  General consensus via reviews is the song warrants a low to middling rating.  Why so popular then?  I don’t have a fucking clue.  Not a single blessed idea.  A frightening review from Florida states that nobody at a Lil Pump concert was older than 22.  Kids are buying and listening to this shit?  They knew every word to every track.  Considering the phenomenally stupid lyrics, that’s terrifying.  If you clicked the track above, I’m sorry for wasting your time.

Lil Pump is creatively and intellectually bankrupt, and financially soon to be the same.

These lyrics are a fail.

0/5 stars