julian

WTF Search Terms: Fan Favourites – First Grade Math edition

Everybody seems to have their favourite kind of content.  My buddy Thussy comes here mostly for the WTFs!  Every once in a while, I’ll send him a list of all the weird and wacky search terms that have (somehow) lead people to mikeladano.com.  As he did in WTF Search Terms XV, he’s picked his favourites.  Please welcome back Thussy for this Guest Shot edition of WTF Search Terms.

WTF Search Terms XXIV: Fan Favourites – First Grade Math edition

It’s been a year since my last installment of WTF search terms so here it is: My list of fucked up shit people want to see on the internet and then somehow make it to Lebrains blog. And when I say shit it sometimes literally means shit.

10. share this click to email this to a friend
I had to include this one because how the hell does this get you to a blog about music?

9. i don’t exist
Then don’t google yourself.

8. wild party
I am a wild party.

7. shower poop guy
Why do people keep searching this?

6. swedish made penis
This sort of thing aint my bag baby.

5. first grade math
Is this the answer to the question, “what did Lebrain fail in school?”

4. orangie took like 6 shooters and some bong tokes
Excellent season, the Boys still have it.

3. porn mcgangbang
It is definitely food porn.

2. Japanporn
If this is anything like Japanese imports they are way too expensive.

1. selling piss julian
“Meth?!?! He’s selling piss, you fucking dumb dumb.”

PISS

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MOVIE REVIEW: Trailer Park Boys – Live in F**kin’ Dublin (2014)

NEW RELEASE

TRAILER PARK BOYS – Live in F**kin’ Dublin (2014 Netflix)

Some things never change!

Some time before the events of Don’t Legalize It, our boys Ricky and Julian had to help Bubbles make a music video, to win a chance to go to Ireland with Rush. Bubbles, dressed as Alex Lifeson, chose a shot-for-shot remake of the “Closer to the Heart” video. Ricky, wearing a false nose, is Geddy Lee (Ricky thinks it’s “Freddy Lee”). Julian taped a piece of chicken skin to his chin to get the look of Neil Peart’s Fu Manchu ‘stache. Drumming one-handed with a glass full of rum and coke in the other hand isn’t easy, but Julian pulls it off.  The video wins the contest! Alex calls Bubbles personally and the three are soon on a private jet bound to Ireland (“Ironland” according to Ricky), with Randy tagging along.

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Unfortunately for Ricky, a private plane isn’t a free license to bring your own dope into Ireland. The judge, however, is sympathetic. Since the boys are so popular in Ireland, he will drop the jail sentence if the boys will perform a show for community service, about the dangers of drink and drugs. The boys agree to a show in Dublin (“Doobylin”), and the live portion of the program begins.

The Trailer Park Boys live on stage in this case consisted of a puppet show, some audience participation contests, a couple of live songs (including Bubbles’ hit “Liquor and Whores”) and a lot of fuckery. If you have seen the boys live, then you know their show is basically just organized chaos. Audience members are invited on stage (the two dumbest ones, apparently) to play Cory and Trevor for the evening.

Highlights included the appearances of the Green Bastard (from “Parts Unknown”) and the evil puppet known as Conky. Apparently Conky must have survived being drowned in the episode “A Shit River Runs Through It”. I also enjoyed Ricky’s trick of “hippotizing” the crowd. He learned how to do it by watching Reveen, and wears a Reveen-esque magician cloak for it.

The film ends with the boys returning to Canada, having missed the Rush concert.  As a bonus, you do get to see their Rush video in its entirety, side by side with the original. A nice addition, as this video is the highlight of the film.

3.5/5 stars

Further reading:
TRAILER PARK BOYS – The Movie (2006 Alliance Atlantis)
TRAILER PARK BOYS – Don’t Legalize It (2014 E One)
TRAILER PARK BOYS – Big Plans, Little Brains: The Complete 1st and 2nd Seasons
TRAILER PARK BOYS – The Complete Third Season
TRAILER PARK BOYS – The Complete Fourth Season
TRAILER PARK BOYS Xmas Special (Conky Puppet, Dope and Liquor Editions)
TRAILER PARK BOYS – The Complete Fifth Season
TRAILER PARK BOYS – The Complete Sixth Season
TRAILER PARK BOYS – The Complete Seventh Season
TRAILER PARK BOYS – Say Goodnight to the Bad Guys

Blu-ray REVIEW: Trailer Park Boys – Don’t Legalize It (2014)

NEW RELEASE

Thanks to Chris Thuss for loaning this disc to me.

TPB3_0001TRAILER PARK BOYS – Don’t Legalize It (2014 Entertainment One)

Directed by Mike Clattenburg

Two years prior to the start of the new Trailer Park Boys opus, Ricky and Julian were released from jail for the 17th time.  Jim Lahey has suffered from a Ricky-induced stroke.  He now limps with a cane, hooked on coke (“white liquor”), still beside an increasingly disgusted Randy.  Lucy is living with mall cop George Green (aka “Fucky McFucksnapper”).  Ricky and Julian have ceased working with each other.  Ricky’s growing dope on an unprecedented scale, in a house in the subdivisions, but the Shitmobile only drives in reverse.  Bubbles is delivering chicken and beer on bicycle, living under J-Roc’s front step.  Terry & Dennis (the Flappy Bird Brothers) and Sam Losco are working for Cyrus.  And Lahey’s buying coke from Sam.  It’s a viscous circle.  Julian was bouncing at a local club, but now has taken a step up (?) in the world by selling piss.

Let me repeat that: Julian is selling piss.

IMG_20140816_193148

Clean piss, stolen from the military, at $60 a vial.  Paying $60 to pass a drug test and keep your job is apparently worth it in Julian’s world.  “Liquid gold,” he calls it.  The quality and freshness of the piss is important to his customers.  Ricky’s business of choice, however, is about to be shut down.  Canada is legalizing marijuana, turning Ricky from king of the hill to unemployed overnight…unless he can stop legalization.

Allow me to repeat that too:  Ricky needs to stop the legalization of marijuana.

Bubbles then receives a mysterious letter from a lawyer: his long-lost parents have passed away, but have left Bubbles a piece of land in Kingston, Ontario.  All he has to do is claim it.  Since Ricky needs to get to Ottawa to stop legalization, and Julian needs to get to Montreal to sell his stolen piss, it only makes sense to combine road trips.  Or a “working vacation,” says Julian.  He’s turned the Dirty Burger into a “Piss Wagon” to transport the liquid gold.  And Lahey’s following them.

Will things go off the rails when Randy dumps all Lahey’s “white liquor” out of the window of their station wagon?  Can Julian trust Cyrus?  Will Bubbles stay in Kingston?  And can Ricky stop his precious illegal crop from being legalized and taxed by government dicks?  All will be decided by the time they get to Ottawa…

Trailer Park Boys shows are known for the mangled English known as Rickysisms.  Some of my favourite lines and Rickyisms in this installment included:

“Instant carla, fucky!” – Ricky.

“Just shutty that fucky!  What’s with your hair man, you think you’re a fucking Beavil or something?” – to Randy regarding his “Beatles ‘do”.

(Laughs) “Meth!?  He’s selling piss, you fucking dum-dum.” – Ricky to Lahey, who thought the test tubes and hazmat gear meant Julian was cooking crystal meth.

“Cocksuckers chicken-jacked me!” – Bubbles after being mugged for chicken.

“Julian, can you stop handling the weiners for a second?” – Bubbles

The movie is dedicated to Richard Collins, aka Philadelphia Collins, who passed during the filming of the movie.  Phil Collins has some excellent scenes in this installment despite being confined to a wheelchair.  It is also dedicated to Brian Huggins (Shitty Bill) and Rita MacNeil.

TPB3_0002

Special features: a 1976 vintage VW camper is discussed in the “Cars Of” feature.  Apparently that camper was a bitch!  The Laheymobile is an ’89 Crown Victoria station wagon that Randy is not allowed to fart in.  Ricky’s Shitmobile is a ’75 Chrysler New Yorker, which had to be drastically revamped structurally just to make it safe to film with.  Then there’s the Dirty Burger, which is actually an old camper that Robb Wells and John Paul Trembley bought years ago.  “Dogs, Busses & Barf Tubes” reveals the origins of Bubbles’ bus.  My favourite featurette is “The Cock Bomb Problem”.  What’s the “Cock Bomb” you ask?  The crew and cast ceaselessly pranked each other by drawing cocks on all of their stuff.

I felt that Trailer Park Boys went a little too dark on the last couple outings.  The final TV episode before the recent revamp of the show was the dour “Say Goodnight to the Bay Guys”, which was followed by the similar downer movie Countdown to Liquor Day.  Don’t Legalize It has its own moments of sadness and quite a few tears, but measured against its predecessor, it’s a much funnier and re-watchable film.  I think this captures the heart of the series better than the last film, even though many characters are absent or have smaller roles.  The core is the triumvirate of Ricky, Julian and Bubbles, along with the evil duo of Randy and Lahey.  As long as you have those ingredients, you have potential for a lot of fuckery.  Don’t Legalize It delivers.

4/5 stars

Further reading:
TRAILER PARK BOYS – The Movie (2006 Alliance Atlantis)
TRAILER PARK BOYS – Big Plans, Little Brains: The Complete 1st and 2nd Seasons
TRAILER PARK BOYS – The Complete Third Season
TRAILER PARK BOYS – The Complete Fourth Season
TRAILER PARK BOYS Xmas Special (Conky Puppet, Dope and Liquor Editions)
TRAILER PARK BOYS – The Complete Fifth Season
TRAILER PARK BOYS – The Complete Sixth Season
TRAILER PARK BOYS – The Complete Seventh Season
TRAILER PARK BOYS – Say Goodnight to the Bad Guys

Part 218: Liquor and Whores

RECORD STORE TALES Part 218:  Liquor and Whores

The year:  Early 2004.

A new original TV show was starting to make waves in Canada.  I hadn’t caught wind of it yet — I didn’t have cable back then — but our destinies would soon intertwine.  The catalyst was my old childhood and highschool friend, Scott.

Scott remembers the story much like I do.  He used to come into my store every Wednesday to visit and check out new arrivals.  He had just become addicted to this new TV show in question, and was spreading the word.  According to Scott:

“I was trying to get everybody into that show…90% success rate by the way.”

That doesn’t surprise me at all.  Because when you’re talking about a show as Canadian, as original, and as funny as Trailer Park Boys, the series sells itself.  Scott figured I would be an easy convert.  “I just knew you were a Rush fan,” he tells me.  It was the Rush connection that initially caught my attention.

Scott was talking to me at the front counter.  “Have you heard of Trailer Park Boys?” he asked me that day.  I hadn’t.  “It’s hilarious,” Scott continued.  “You have to see this guy Bubbles.  In the best episode, he meets Alex Lifeson from Rush.  He gets to go on stage with Rush, play guitar with Alex, and everything.  He’s actually a pretty good musician.”

Going into more detail, Scott explained:  “Do you remember that band, Sandbox?”  I did.  “Bubbles is played by a guy from that band.  He’s got these big thick glasses, always swearing…Bubbles is the best!”

I had seen Sandbox eight years earlier, opening for Barenaked Ladies actually.  I was really impressed by their show and their single “Curious”, so I picked up their album.  In fact I think their ambitious second album, 1997’s A Murder in the Glee Club, is among the finest albums our country has to offer.  Their lead vocalist was a guy named Paul Murray, nephew of Anne.

Wanna see what Bubbles would look like with a shaved head?  Watch this.

So I was in.  As soon as the first box set came into inventory, I bought it, without seeing a single episode.  Dandy ratted me out for buying two DVDs in one week (which was against the rules at the time), but once I got the discs home, I put on the first season.  I was hooked by the second episode.

Now that the boys are coming back for an 8th season on SwearNet, it’s never too late to get yourself hooked on this incredible show.  After all, if Axl Rose, Sebastian Bach, and Alex Lifeson are all fans, aren’t you curious what you’re missing?

See Guns N’ Roses play “Liquor and Whores” with Bubbles on vocals & guitar

Liquor and whoresSAM_0436
Liquor and whores
Cigarettes and dope and mustard and bologna
Liquor and whores

I went down
Drinkin’ at the legion
I met a girl she was nice
She was pretty and pleasing

She said “Hey boy
We should do some marrying”
I said sure but before we do
There’s something that you should know

I like
Liquor and whores
Liquor and whores
Cigarettes and dope and mustard and bologna
Liquor and whores…

Then one night down at the legion
She walked in, I was drunk on gin
Dancin with a lady friend
She said hey boy, You’d better fly the fuck home
I said no cause five little words I coulda
Swore I said to you

I like
Liquor and whores
Liquor and whores
Cigarettes and dope and mustard and bologna
Liquor and whores…

REVIEW: Trailer Park Boys – The Movie (2006)

Are you a Tragically Hip fan?  Then read on.

TRAILER PARK BOYS – The Movie (2006 Alliance Atlantis)

Directed by Mike Clattenburg

The story goes that Ivan Reitman, who produced Trailer Park Boys: The Movie (aka “The Big Dirty”), wanted to do a movie that would re-introduce the characters and target them to a new audience.  He preferred the flavour of the earlier seasons and steered the movie in that direction.  This is sort of a good and bad thing.

The movie is out of continuity with the TV series, unfortunately.  There are characters and events in the movie that would never be referenced in the series.  Lahey loses the roof of his car in both the movie and the TV series, but in different ways.  You’ll notice Trinity is played by a different actress (Lydia Lawson-Baird), and her character is slightly different in tone as well.

Remember those movie trailers where the Boys are auditioning actors to play themselves? I think it’s best to think of this movie in that context: It’s the Boys playing themselves, in a movie based on themselves.  Even though we’re talking about fictional characters in a mockumentary movie.

The plot:  Ricky and Julian go to jail (again) and are about to be released (again). No fair! cries Ricky, who wants to play in the jail hockey tournament against the prison guards, captained by Donny.  The rivalry between Ricky (a goalie) and Donny (Gerry Dee) result in a few classic exchanges:

Ricky – “Suck it, Donny.”

Donny – “You suck it.  More.”

Ricky – “What kind of comeback was that?  I said ‘suck it’ and you just added ‘more’ to it.”

Donny – “Because it’s more, you suck it more.”

TPB_0002Out of jail, Rick goes home to Sunnyvale trailer park, only to find that things have changed. Lucy’s got a new job.  “An awesome new job,” according to Sarah.  “She workin’ at Horton’s again?” asks Ricky.  Nope, it’s not a coffee shop, it’s a “gentlemen’s club”.  This “gentlemen’s club” is owned by Sonny (Hugh Dillon, of the Headstones), and he’s banging Lucy.

Julian, also out of jail, has an idea to get rich “without getting caught”: Do small crimes.  Steal change!  Ricky, on the other hand, has met a lot of really “smart” guys in jail, and they all say “the big dirty” is the way to go: one big crime, and you’re retired. The two ideas are combined and a plan is set in motion. Will Ricky still be able to play in the hockey tournament?

In addition to new characters like Sonny and Donny, look for cameos by Alex Lifeson (Rush) and Gordon Downie (The Tragically Hip). The soundtrack kicks ass, featuring Helix, April Wine, and lots of The Tragically Hip.  I always think of this movie now when I hear the songs “Bobcaygeon” and “38 Years Old”.  Hell, Julian even goes to see a movie called “The Dark Canuck” in the film.

I really enjoyed Trailer Park Boys: The Movie even if it’s not quite pure Trailer Park Boys. It sort of attempts to recapture what worked in the early seasons (you can tell by casting Trinity as a younger girl) and by and large, it works. Sonny works as a replacement antagonist, a role that Cyrus often filled on the show.  All your favourite regulars such as Philadelphia Collins, Jacob Collins, and Officer George Green are here. Lahey is suitably drunk, and Randy as shirtless as ever.

This actually works pretty well as a way for newcomers to get into the show. It distills what worked best in the earlier years, into a two-hour package that stays funny and doesn’t wear out its welcome. Bonus features include the music video for “I Fought The Law” (featuring Geddy Lee and Alex Lifeson!), and lots of alternate takes.

5/5 stars. Two smokes, let’s go.

“I could easily fuck over 10 pieces of chicken”

REVIEW: Rush – Moving Pictures (CD/blu-ray deluxe edition)

 

Everybody got to evelate from the norm…

RUSH FRONT

RUSH – Moving Pictures (2011 Anthem remaster with 5.1 blu-ray)

The great musical academic, Tom Morwood, once called Moving Pictures “the greatest album of the 1980’s”. I think he has an arguable position. Besides the obvious “Tom Sawyer”, you get such classics as “Red Barchetta”, “YYZ”, “Limelight”, and of course “Vital Signs”. This is back in the day when 7 or 8 songs made an album, and Moving Pictures’ 7 songs are a hell of a concoction.

Although the Rush catalogue was last remastered back in ’97 (or there ’bouts), this was the first Rush deluxe edition to hit the shelves. Unlike most deluxe editions, this one contains no “bonus tracks” per se, at least none in CD form. Disc one is Moving Pictures, in stereo, and disc two is the entire album in hi-def 5.1, plus three music videos. Disc one has been remastered (yet again!), but don’t fret — unless you’re an audiophile, you don’t need to worry about that. The 1997 CD edition sounded fine, as does this. You’re buying this for the 5.1, and if you can’t play 5.1 just stick with the original CD which sounds pretty much the same to the average Joe Listener.   (There’s also a “96k PCM stereo” with “256 times more resolution than a CD” on the blu-ray disc.)

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If you don’t own this album yet, then what are you waiting for?  You couldn’t find a better CD to start with.  Although Geddy had brought the keyboards out, this album still represents the perfect mix of Alex’s guitar and Ged’s keys — not fighting for space in the mix, but sharing it equally and powerfully.

RUSH CD

Do I really need to talk about “Tom Sawyer”?  It’s Rush’s most recognizable riff.  I can think of few other songs where the drum part carries just as many hooks as the other instruments.  But that’s Rush, that’s the Professor.  That’s part of their genius.

“Red Barchetta” is a futuristic tale.  The Motor Law has been passed, banning cars.  Romance for the old vehicles still exists in some, who seek the thrills.  I always felt the subject matter was similar to the movie The Last Chase, which didn’t come out until the following year.  Musically, the song twists and turns like the roads it’s about.

“YYZ” is perhaps Rush’s best known instrumental, a slammin’ piece of polyrhythmic madness.  It’s stuff like this that Rush is best known for, and “YYZ” is one of the best examples of it.  Alex’s guitar work is nothing short of stunning, meanwhile Geddy’s bass licks are perfect.

Meanwhile, “Limelight” represents the simpler pop side of Rush that the band were interested in exploring at the time.  It is still anchored by a solid riff, but with Geddy’s vocal melody enduring.  A song like this is an appropriate lead-in to “The Camera Eye”, a more complex piece featuring Geddy’s synth.  It’s over 10 minutes long, and perhaps the kind of thing people expect from Rush.

“Witch Hunt” is a shorter one, but ominous and dramatic.  Alex’s riff is the main focus, although Neil certainly throws in plenty of interesting accents.  The final track, “Vital Signs”, is my favourite.  Finding words to describe it is difficult.  It’s perfect — an amalgam of incredible playing with interesting influences and complex arrangements.  There is a clear reggae vibe, as they had been listening to a lot of The Police.  It’s also extremely memorable.  Neil’s drum work on this is stunning.

And that’s the album!  Seven songs done and dusted.

RUSH BLU RAY

The 5.1 mix, done by Toronto’s own Richard Chycki (he’s been doing Rush and Triumph remixes for years now) is pretty damn good. It’s different. Listen to “Vital Signs” for example. It’s different, the balance of instruments and vocals. Considering the original stereo mix was perfect, and you can’t fairly compare to perfection, I will just say the mix is different. It’s definitely a great listen on a good system, I liked what Chycki did. Again, listen to “Vital Signs”. What he did there just creates this amazing field of sound. There’s a great separation of instruments. Moving Pictures was a great choice to mix in 5.1, you can really hear the individual playing.

The music videos are old, and don’t look so hot, even on blu. I have always loved watching the “Tom Sawyer” video, Neil bashing his kit in Le Studio with that big glass window behind him in the dead of winter. Geddy with those big glasses.  My best friend Peter, he loves Geddy’s glasses!  There’s also “Limelight”, which is seen less frequently.  The “Vital Signs” video, from the same taping, is previously unreleased.

The liner notes are by David Fricke, and are quite different from the who-played-what-when notes in previous deluxe editions. Fricke’s don’t go into great detail regarding the making of the album nor the 5.1 mix, as previous deluxe editions do. However, it’s David Fricke, and therefore a good read. Enjoy while immersed within this album, in sublime hi-def 5.1.

5(.1)/5 stars

REVIEW: Trailer Park Boys Xmas Special w/ Conky Puppet, Dope and Liquor Editions! With Video! (DVD)

TRAILER PARK BOYS Xmas Special  (Conky Puppet, Dope and Liquor Editions)

Upon first release in 2004, I bought the Trailer Park Boys Xmas Special.  It was a compulsory purchase.  This excellent show, one of the funniest on TV, had yet to issue the special as a part of a box set.  Plus it came with a Conky puppet!  Fans of the show know Conky to be the evil but hilarious puppet who has a tendency to take over Bubbles’ brain.  Surely, “Conky” is one of the two best episodes of the show.  The other would be “Closer to the Heart” featuring Alex Lifeson.

See the video to check out LeBrain’s Conky puppet!

I remember Tom used to put the Conky puppet on top of his Christmas tree!

Then, in 2006, I found the reissued “Dope and Liquor Edition” at a store for $5, and re-bought it, even though I already own the version that came with the Conky puppet. Why?

1. Because I’m crazy like that and I love TPB.
2. Because it was cheap enough to warrant the second purchase.
3. Because the previously unreleased (on DVD) “Trailer Park Boys 101” special as hosted by Alex Lifeson was worth it to me.

This double-length episode (actually titled, “Dear Santa Claus, Go Fuck Yourself”) on its own is one of the best the series ever produced. Taking place in 1997, well before the fictional adventures of Ricky, Julian, and Bubbles were documented, this episode reveals a lot of Trailer Park Boys backstory and delivers a lot of laughs.

Ricky is bailed out of jail on Christmas Eve to help Julian with his present stealing racket. Ricky’s unhappy because Christmas is the best time to be in jail (“12 days of partying,” Ricky says). It doesn’t take long for Mr. Lahey to get wise to the theft scheme, and with his new friend Randall in tow, he promptly gets back on the liquor. In the meantime, sidekicks Jamie and Tyrone discover rap music and marijuana, while Ricky and Julian use “nerds” Corey and Trevor to help steal Christmas trees.

Some of the funniest dialogue in the show’s history was right here in the Christmas special. Ricky mistaking God for Santa Claus is priceless (if you’re not offended).

Ricky: Dad, I write letters every year, you know that. I mean, I’m sending a letter off to the big guy tomorrow. So, it’s taken care of. Done. No problem.

Ray: Huh?

Ricky: The letters… You and Mom got me to write them every year at Christmas. I’m sending one off tomorrow again.

Ray: To Santa Claus, Rick?!

Ricky: Yeah, the big guy.

Bubbles: The big guy?! The big guy? That’s God, Ricky.

Ricky: Yeah, God. That’s what I said. Santa.

Ray: Ricky, come on, you know Santa and God aren’t the same guy, right?

Ricky: Dad, you didn’t know that? I mean, think about it! How would he get around the world in one night? Of course he’s the same person. Right, Bubs?

Bubbles: No, Ricky. Santa and God, that’s two different things.

Ricky: What? Oh my fuck! You know, I did maybe think that I fucked that up. I wasn’t sure, and I didn’t want to say anything just in case Santa was God. Like, it would obviously, probably, wouldn’t it piss him off that I got that mixed up like that?

By the time you get to his big speech at the end, (“Christmas is about getting drunk and stoned with your family!”) you’ll be howling.

Like I said, this is hilarious if you’re not easily offended. If you are, I would advise you to stay far away from everything Trailer Park Boys. If you enjoy well delivered, largely improvised dialogue performed by the east coast’s favourites, then dig in for some Christmas dinner.

The special features here are the typical TPB fare. Alternate takes, extended takes, bloopers, and so on abound, making this worth your coin. As I mentioned before, to make up for the lack of the Conky puppet, the Dope and Liquor Edition has the Alex Lifeson documentary. As a Rush and TPB fan, this was worth the re-buy for me. You also get a preview for the first TPB movie, although this is well out of date now.

Merry Christmas, make sure mom is nowhere around when you watch this!

5/5 stars (for both)

Conky