Thussy here with another Sunday Chuckle Takeover. You can buy absolutely anything on the internet, and Wish.com is definitely a site that offers some of the weirder things. Here comes another four that the powers-that-be think we cannot live without.
Chicken helmets, and they come in seven different colours. I want to go out and buy a chicken just to buy it a little helmet. Ride down the road on a motorcycle with a chicken sitting on the gas tank. Pull up to a biker bar with little Oscar Goldman.*
A home laser tattoo removal system. There are some things that should never be done at home and tattoo removal is definitely one of them. What are they going to sell next, My First Home Laser Eye Surgery Kit? Don’t add another stupid decision to an already stupid tattoo choice. If a professional put the tattoo on you get a professional to take it off you.
Where the hell was this when I was a kid? A muffler for when you put a playing card in your spokes. So then I wouldn’t just be annoying my parents riding around the driveway I could amplify it and annoy the entire neighbourhood.
Meat socks, all I know is my bacon budget would go way up because every time I wore these they make me crave bacon. Also why is one of the options to make your socks looks like shoes, just wear shoes.
Thussy here again with another Sunday Chuckle. Being a veteran contributor for the WTF column, this one came naturally.
Are these fart panties? Do they freshen the scent or muffle the sound? If the top right of the picture didn’t exist I would just think ok these are maybe some sort of padded biking shorts. Admittedly they looks like they would make long distance bike riding more comfortable. Is the top right of it just to show that they are breathable because it just looks like a fart?
This just looks messed. Is this some sort of medieval torture device that just eventually rips your nail off? The two side arms look like they would rip right through the nail making whatever problem these are supposed to solve so much worse.
$8 for what mouldy bread or cheese or maybe fruitcake? I swear this is some joke item someone trys to sell on eBay. I can just see the write-up now. “I found this wrapped up in the back of my fridge. Don’t remember what it is, eat at your own risk or make your own penicillin from it.”
Russian nesting knives? I’m an amateur cook and have a good set of knives and the one thing I know is you need a strong comfortable knife that are well balanced for weight. These look like they fulfill none of those categories.
NINE INCH NAILS – broken (1992 Interscope EP) / halo five
I remember seeing this in my local HMV store in 1992. I thought, “Nine Inch Nails have cool packaging,” because you didn’t see too many digipacks back then. It’s cooler than just that though, with three panels unfolding in a “T” shape each with a letter on it. “n”…”i”…”n”…
Gotta give Trent Reznor credit for packaging, he usually has very striking and original concepts for his discs. Also cool how the packaging for broken nicely complements the remix album fixed once both are bought. broken technically qualifies as an EP I guess, or a mini-album maybe, even though it is longer than most classic Van Halen albums.
There is a version of broken out there that was once considered one of the Holy Grails of Nine Inch Nails collectibles. I guess the advent of eBay made it much easier to get, because eBay has one as of this writing for $12, free shipping, VG condition. It is a 2 CD version, with the two “hidden” tracks on a separate 3″ CD enclosed within the digipack. This was supposedly discontinued because unscrupulous store owners were taking out the bonus CD and selling it separately. Or so goes the legend. I think cost would also have been a factor in discontinuing the bonus CD. On re-releases like I own, the bonus tracks are included as #98 and #99, with 91 tracks of 1 second silences preceding them.
“Pinion” serves as a brief intro to “Wish” and they are always presented together. This serves to intensify the mighty “Wish”, the heaviest song released by Nine Inch Nails up to the time. What sounds like a blowtorch punctuates a frantic drum rhythm. This progresses into a mélange of bizarre sounds, shredding guitars and a sledgehammer riff. “Last” follows, a slower more relentless riff. At times its the industrial version of “Sad But True”, but with a synthpop style chorus. Reznor maintains his angry snarl throughout, bitching about whatever he’s bitching about. “Pigs” are referenced, he sounds upset, angry, sad…aww!
“Help Me I Am In Hell” is one of the coolest tracks, a quiet two-minute guitar n’ noise respite. It sounds a lot like some of the quieter moments that would later come on The Downward Spiral (a genius album if there ever was one). Then, “Happiness in Slavery” serves as a barrage to the noggin’, Trent yelling stuff about slaves screaming in a distorted voice. There are some cool, ascending metal-y guitar licks and another synthpop chorus. If I had to guess, I’d say the lyrics are a thinly veiled discourse on getting screwed by your record label, as Trent was at the time.
The final song of this batch of tracks is “Gave Up”, another fast metallic song. It’s hard to discern the melodies from it, such is the distortion of the track. It does have a bad-ass keyboard solo though. Trent sounds like he’s singing on a broken tape deck and the guitars sound like they’re on the same cassette too. It’s my least favourite song on the EP, although I remember it had a cool “live” style music video with Marilyn Manson on guitar.
After 91 tracks of silence (a quaint-oh-so 90’s gimmick that I sidestepped by not ripping them) are the bonus cover songs. “Physical (You’re So)” is an Adam and the Ants tune, morphed into something that sounds like a cross between Nine Inch Nails and Motley Crue. This is a great track. Among the best on the album. There are jackhammer sounds, plenty of distortion and unidentifiable but cool sounds. “Suck” is a Pigface cover (from Gub) that Trent originally sang and co-wrote anyway. It has a powerful chorus and riff much like the rest of broken, but the verses (pun intended) kind of suck. That funky bassline…it’s not my thing, I guess.
One weird thing. I don’t know where it came from, but I somehow got a booklet for a Japanese version of broken. I found it inside my copy…I must have found it laying around at the store. Kinda neat to have, I can’t read a word of it, but cool. My CD appears to just be the regular single disc US release otherwise.
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