I took a little bit of online flak for this picture, but I think it’s funny. This was a McDonalds in Cambridge Ontario. The combination of the track pants, the lazy half-assed wearing of the shoes, and the golden arches struck my funnybone.
It’s OK if you don’t think this is funny. I’m cool with that. But don’t be a dick about it. I wouldn’t take a picture of a homeless person, or a disabled person, but lazy people seem like fair game to me.
I mean, just look at dem shoes.
LED ZEPPELIN – “Rock and Roll” / “Friends” (2018 Atlantic Record Store Day single)
The hype for Record Store Day exclusives is as strong as ever, but most of these releases are just empty cash grabs. Coloured vinyl reissues of this, that or the other thing…nothing will compete with a mint original. Sometimes you’ll see vinyl releases for albums that used to be exclusive to CD, but rarely will you be able to buy exclusive music.
Led Zeppelin saw to it that your Record Store Day dollars did not go to waste.
And as if you thought Led Zeppelin had “cleared the vaults” of unreleased material! Here’s two more unheard mixes. These cannot be found on the Zeppelin deluxe editions. If you’ve collected all those already, then prepare to add two more tracks to your collection. This is a pretty clear indication that Jimmy Page is not finished dusting off old tapes to sell.
There are no liner notes to explain when these mixes were done or by whom, but “Rock and Roll” was mixed at Sunset Sound. Alternate mixes are fun for a fresh sound on an old favourite. You can hear different nuances. “Rock and Roll” has a nice clear heavy sound and maybe a little more echo. “Friends” (from Olympic Studios) has a harsher sound, with the percussion part prominent in the mix. The old intro is trimmed off in favour of a clean start with the acoustic guitar.
The yellow vinyl is a gorgeous bonus. Add it to your Zep treasure chest.
4/5 stars
Thanks to Mr. James for picking this up for me. You are a true gentleman, with a creepy Facebook avatar.
GUNS N’ ROSES have announced an APPETITE FOR DESTRUCTION deluxe edition coming in June. While “Rocket Queen” will certainly be on it, it’s highly unlikely the interview track below will.
GUNS N’ ROSES – “Patience” (1989 Geffen 12″ single)
Fans of vintage Guns N’ Roses (what other kind are there?) should always be alert and eyes open for old singles. Whether CD or vinyl, some of those old Guns singles have buried treasure on them. One is “Patience”, released several months after the Lies EP from which it sprang.
Here’s some truth for you, and it’s rather strange. “Patience” simply sounds better with the crackle of vinyl. I can’t explain it but I sure can testify. Just a little bit. Just enough to transport you back in time to 1989 when people were spinning Lies on vinyl (or at least cassette tape) nightly. The delicate strum of acoustics accentuate one another, and hot-damn, it’s hard to deny the timelessness of “Patience”. The missus and I played it at our wedding reception and it was a highlight of the evening. Almost every couple dancing to it that night is still together. Magic, people! It’s real.
But no, the real treasure is on side two, and it’s not “Rocket Queen”. Don’t get me wrong! “Rocket Queen” is an amazing showcase and could still today be the best tune Guns have ever laid to vinyl. It’s heavy, it’s soft; it has a bit of everything. I’d put it in my top five. But you already have Appetite for Destruction, so you know this already. What you have probably never heard before is the second track on the B-side, a vintage interview (7:44 long) with the elusive W. Axl Rose himself.
Conducted in his apartment among his broken platinum albums, Axl is asked some point-blank questions. Did you know Duff had his own comedy version of “Patience” that could have come out at some time? Axl even dropped lyrics from a new Izzy Stradlin song still two years down the road. “Double talking jive, get the money motherfucker, ’cause I got no more patience…” He also revealed they had a lot of ideas…anything from “10 songs to 30 songs”. (Turns out, it was 30.)
Axl confessed that his violent streak comes from frustration and stress, and that he has always smashed his things. It’s clear that this guy, sitting at the very top of the rock pile, needed some mental health care. Bon Jovi, after all, didn’t smash his platinum albums. He even went as far as to warn psycho fans to stay away or deal with the consequences of getting in his face.
It’s an odd interview, and revealing. That’s why it’s a treasure worth seeking. A single like this is valuable to fans who need to know these bits of trivia and minutia.
4/5 stars
SWORD – The Best Of (2009 Unidisc reissue)
There are two versions of this CD: a 2006 release on Aquarius, and a 2009 reissue on Unidisc. Don’t waste your time on the 2006 CD, which is made up of previously released material. Go for the 2009 disc, with three unreleased bonus tracks!
Sword (not The Sword) are a Canadian band from Quebec who released an impressive heavy metal debut album in 1986. They gained the attention of Motorhead who took them out on tour. They followed it in ’88 with Sweet Dreams, just as good as the first, but commercial success eluded the band. They toiled away on a third album, but eventually the band dissolved leaving only singer Rick Hughes. He returned in 1992 with Saints & Sinners, and a new hard rock sound, but that was fated to sell poorly too. It was inevitable after grunge hit.
Rick Hughes remained active as a singer in Quebec and in 2016, he released a Sword live album, Live Hammersmith, recorded in ’87 on the Motorhead tour. Then, unexpectedly in 2018, the original lineup reunited! They have already played live gigs and are recording a new Sword album. If you plan on catching up (and you should!) then check out the 2009 Best of Sword disc. Besides the three unreleased demos, you’ll get a dozen rockers and thrashers that will melt skin.
The first salvo of “Stoned Again” and “F.T.W.” are a pair of killers. They were the singles from the first album, well loved by Canadian fans of the Pepsi Power Hour. “F.T.W.” is a smokeshow, with a blistering gallop and brain-burning chorus. On the other hand, groove is all about “Stoned Again”, a surprisingly catchy number that is hard to forget. Strangely, their final single “The Trouble Is” (from Sweet Dreams) isn’t on here. “Life on the Sharp Edge” is also missing.
Omissions aside, The Best of Sword showcases the sound of the band with a lot of their best material. More serious and topical songs like “Land of the Brave” will appeal to the thinking metal head. Meanwhile “State of Shock” will rip skulls right off — be careful you don’t play it too loud!
The first of the bonus tracks, a song called “Get It While You Can”, might be a demo from the third album, before they transitioned into Saints & Sinners. It’s the most “hard rock” Sword song of all of them. It definitely sounds like a stepping stone to what would become the Saints & Sinners album. The other two tracks are demos of “Runaway” and “Stuck in Rock” from the first LP, with different lyrics.
Because the first two albums are out of print, The Best of Sword is an easy way to sample their tunes before that third album comes. Go for it — but only the full 15 track version.
4/5 stars
GETTING MORE TALE #675: 5% (This House is Not for Sale)
My dad, an old school banker, used to tell me, “Never pay somebody rent when you can put that money towards owning something of value.”
I lived in a rental apartment with T-Rev for a little while in the 90s, but mostly I lived with my folks. That allowed me to save a lot of money for a place to live. In 2002 I bought a condo. I was lucky. It was the first and only place I looked at. It was 10 minutes away from work, 10 minutes away from my parents, and absolutely perfect for me. I soon as I saw it, I started planning where the stereo would go.
I wanted to have my own place before I turned 30, and I was the first Record Store employee to buy one. I could tell the office Bully was jealous. When I told everyone I bought my own place, they all sent their congratulations, except the Bully. She sent a back-handed email about how I had it easy living with my parents all this time. I hit “delete”, but I did not forget. It was a pattern of belittling that continued over the years.
I wasn’t trying to boast. Just sharing my happy news with people who I thought were my friends.
I got married, continued to work hard, and a couple weeks ago, I finally got the phone call from the bank that I had been waiting 16 years for. “Congratulations! You are now among the 5% of Canadians that own their homes with no mortgage!”
What a feeling! It doesn’t seem like 16 years. More like 10.
Back when I moved in, I insisted that only I carry my treasured CD collection. If any jewel cases were broken, I could only blame myself! (Only a couple broke.) My whole family helped. We had the place painted later that night and I was entertaining my first guests two days later!
First movie played at the new place: Star Wars Episode I.
Those kinds of things are important, you know.
After I got married, we meant to find a bigger place. We both had great jobs and the time seemed right. Unfortunately Mrs. LeBrain got sick – really sick. Epilepsy has changed our lives and we have not been able to move. Too many far more important things to do. We’ve outgrown this place, but we will make it work.
We own it free and clear. It’s ours. The roof over our head is a security blanket that we never take for granted.
Sigh.
There’s always a story behind these things. A few weeks ago, they had to do some work on the pipes in our condo. The water in the whole building was shut off at 9 am. I forgot to tell Jen about it.
I was reminded when I spoke to her on the phone, and she mentioned the toilet wouldn’t flush and the bathroom was stinky.
And that’s why, at work, I was awarded the Husband of the Year Award with a picture of a toilet on it.
ALICE IN CHAINS – MTV Unplugged (1996 Sony)
MTV’s Unplugged series is responsible for some of the best live albums you’ll find. Certainly Kiss’ instalment is up there, and so is Alice in Chains’. It’s somewhat strange that Alice’s first live album was an acoustic performance, but they have always been a two sided band. At least in the early days, you could count on an acoustic EP between electric albums. Their Unplugged focuses on mellow(ish) moments from everything but their debut, Facelift.
“Nutshell” from Jar of Flies is a brilliant opener. It sets a dark, quiet tone that follows through the whole album. For this show, Alice added guitarist Scott Olsen to free up Jerry Cantrell’s hands to solo. The eerie quiet of the audience only adds to the tension. “Brother” from Sap is next; a showcase for the harmonies of Layne Staley and Jerry Cantrell. Their vocal blend was Alice’s most defining feature. The big single from Jar of Flies, “No Excuses” rounds out this trio. Once again the harmonies kill it. MTV Unplugged is an unforgiving format. They had to do it live. They could do multiple takes, but one of them has to be perfect. “No Excuses” is perfect, and just listen to the percussion work of Sean Kinney!
A number of album tracks, better known as heavy electric songs, are next. Right after a lil’ bit of “Enter Sandman”, Alice in Chains do the newbie “Sludge Factory” for the first time ever. Due to Layne’s health, Alice were unable to tour in ’95-’96. They played only five shows; Unplugged was the first. (The other four were opening for Kiss, who also had an Unplugged album in 1996.) “Sludge Factory” is a difficult song from a murky album. Though was well received, “Down in a Hole” from Dirt earns more shouts of familiarity. Layne clearly poured himself into the song.
“Angry Chair” is one of Alice in Chains’ heaviest songs; to hear it unplugged is strange but oddly appropriate. Instead of raging, it simmers. “Rooster” too is more peaceful, though an undercurrent of angst is always present. It’s a song about Jerry’s dad, a Vietnam vet. Sean Kinney’s marching band style drums give a slight military feel. Layne absolutely wails on “Got Me Wrong” from Sap, and if you want intensity then check out “Would?”. Even though the band hadn’t played live in ages, and despite Layne’s fragility, they were certainly as good as ever on MTV Unplugged.
A cluster of new material lies on the back end. “Heaven Beside You” was always (largely) acoustic, but live it has a swagger. For songs that were always challenging, “Frogs” is certainly one, and it is no less so unplugged. It is more about the atmosphere than the notes. “Over Now”, however, is a blast.
Alice finished the set with a new song called “Killer is Me”. Like many of their songs it has atonal qualities that make it a difficult pill to swallow. It has never been recorded in the studio, which makes the unplugged show that much more special.
Listening to MTV Unplugged, you can’t help but miss Layne. A fun side of him shone that night. “I just wanna hug you all!…but I’m not gonna,” he exclaims at the end. It is true that the band eventually found a way to carry on with William Duvall, and they have done so very well. But Layne…he was something special that only happens once.
4.5/5 stars
ALICE IN CHAINS – Alice in Chains (1995 Columbia)
Alice in Chains (known colloquially as Tripod) is a difficult album. It was difficult to make, and it’s hard to listen to. Singer Layne Staley was in the throws of heroin addiction, but what came out of it was a portrait of everything the band went through. It’s ugly, atonal, and occasionally brutally heavy.
Guitarist Jerry Cantrell stepped up with more lead vocals, while Layne harmonized. Lead track “Grind” is one example of this. Layne’s role on this song is limited but critical to the overall vibe. His distorted snarl is integral to what amounts to an angry, lead-footed song. “Brush Away” is more conventional, though Jerry’s droning guitar melodies keep it on the edge. It drones on even while the riff is going its own way. “Brush Away” is relentless but “Sludge Factory” takes it back to a slower grunge. A song like “Sludge Factory” is a perfect definition of grunge at its best. Who knows how the hell they came up with these ideas. Pairing a weird “woo ooo” vocal with the heaviest of riffs and an avante-garde solo is innovative indeed.
“Heaven Beside You” is one of the easier songs to listen to, though MTV had to censor it. “So there’s problems in your life, that’s fucked up, I’m not blind.” Jerry sings lead on this acoustic number that sounds like a bridge between the acoustic band of Jar of Flies and the electric one of Dirt. It has a bit of a winter chill, just like the lyrics suggest. Don’t forget though, that Alice in Chains really like to write fucked up music. “Head Creeps” is one of those tracks. It sounds like an audio portrait of heroin withdrawal. “No more time…just one more time.” But listen to Sean Kinney just killing it on the unorthodox drum patterns. They close the first side with an intense single called “Again”. Once more it’s heavy, atonal and not at all commercial: metal sludge with “doot doot” singing.
The second side is even darker. A slow “Shame in You” is beautiful but sounds like depression embodied in sound. “God Am”, though, is angry and bitter. The lyrics are clever, and the riff is a beefy stutter. “Can I be as my God am?” asks Layne in one of his most provoking songs. “I’m not fine, fuck pretending.” That may as well be the theme for the entire album. They were not fine, and they were not pretending. Despite this, musically Alice in Chains could not be touched by their contemporaries. Only Soundgarden could have been capable of playing music of this complexity.
Writer’s block seems to come up in the storming “So Close” and “Nothing Song”. “It’s the same old sit-down roll-around chewed-up pen,” says Layne in “So Close”. His humorous side comes out in “Nothing Song”, with a stream of consciousness lyric that veers from autobiographical to bizarre. It’s one of the weirdest songs on the album, and Jerry’s shrieking guitar is an absolute treat.
“Frogs” and “Over Now” end the album on a pair of slower-paced songs. “Frogs” simmers low and slow, but “Over Now” is an another acoustic one with a brighter center. Jerry sings what might be about as close as Alice ever got to a campfire singalong song.
When it was first issued, you could get Alice in Chains in two different coloured jewel cases. Most were yellow with a purple spine, but the very rarest ones were purple with a yellow spine.* Even the cassettes came in coloured cases — yellow, with a purple tape inside. Whichever you choose, prepare yourself for an album that will stubbornly refuse to open up to you on just one or two listens. It’s good, but not for the meek.
3.5/5 stars
* I’ve seen it, but never in good enough condition. The case is always scuffed or broken. Inspect before you buy.
GETTING MORE TALE #674: Bad Moon Rising
A sequel to Getting More Tale #455: How to Make a Music Video (The Old-Fashioned Way)
Best buddy Bob and I shot and edited a successful music video for Poison’s “Nothin’ But a Good Time” in the 11th grade. We were sent to the local Charlie awards, representing our school in a film competition. We didn’t win one (audio sync issues caused by the unreliable cassette format) but by summer holidays, I was back to the drawing board.
I called up a couple friends: Danesh and Anand. They came over and we hashed out an outline for a horror movie. The truth is, I just wanted an excuse to do another music video but I needed a different concept this time. It had to be a step up. That summer, I was enthused about Leatherwolf’s second album, and their cover of Creedence Clearwater Revival’s “Bad Moon Rising”. I thought it was the perfect track for a cheesy horror movie. Any 80s horror film needed a heavy metal theme song. Leatherwolf’s “Bad Moon Rising” struck me as perfectly fitting. “I hope you got your things together, I hope you are quite prepared to die.” So I had the idea of a double feature: a horror movie with a heavy metal music video accompanying. The other guys were into it.
Over a fun afternoon in the basement, we came up with our little movie. Bob was no longer available. He would be in college the next year. It was my first film project without him. As the film’s lead actor, we chose David Kidd, who was the “drummer” in my Poison video. He was a drama geek. His nickname was “Emperor Kiddspeare”. He’d be perfect.
At the start of grade 12, we approached the Film Education teacher about our new project. She was not enthused and objected to the music video. “Why don’t you just use the original song?” she asked about “Bad Moon Rising”, when I explained the concept of the heavy metal tie-in music video. She just didn’t get it. The video was the whole seed of the idea! Maybe she was completely unaware of the metal/horror relationship, based on past movies such as Friday the 13th and Nightmare on Elm St. We proceeded with the project anyway. Trying to make your own horror movie is like a rite of passage. Hasn’t every school kid tried?
We only shot one scene. It was a hospital scene where the lead character played by David moved a chair with his mind. It looked great although we were already short on footage. We had to loop a couple shots to edit together the full scene. So we did, and it was a start.
But I had just started my first part time job, at Zehrs at the mall. This cut into my after school hours and the film project dissolved. I don’t have the scene we shot; it is lost for good. So is our script.
For a project of that size, I really needed a partner with the dedication and creativity of Bob, but he was off in college doing his own thing. We couldn’t get it done in grade 12 without him. Grade 13 was also hopeless for a film project.* Everybody was far too busy trying to get into University. Everybody except Emperor Kiddspeare. He seemed to go off the rails a bit when he started smoking. First, he burned a “lucky horseshoe” into his hand with a cigarette lighter. Then he just stopped showing up for school. Danesh and I used to (jokingly) calculate the odds that he was dead during Algebra class. Every once in a while, he would actually show up, throwing all our “calculations” to the wind. Either way, I didn’t have Bob, and Dave was a write-off. There would be no more highschool film projects. Bad Moon Rising was dead in the water.
Emperor Kiddspeare ended up becoming a goth, and is very popular in the local industrial music scene. The last time I saw him, a decade ago on a sweltering hot July day, he was wearing a full length leather trenchcoat. Good on him.
* Partially. One weekend, Bob and I rented a camera and we shot a video for our long-distance girlfriends. It was called Mike & Bob’s Cross-Kitchener Adventure. I still have that but it’s not particularly watchable.
mikeladano.com 