Movies

Top Five(s) of 2013 – Part 2: Movies, TV and the rest

If you missed the Top Five Albums of 2013 lists, click here!

Some people got carried away and submitted more than 5 in their lists this year, Uncle Meat being the number one offender. But since Tom & Uncle Meat were good this Christmas, here are the Top Five (or Six) (or Ten) Movies of 2013.  And while we’re talking about movies we may as well do a Top TV Shows of 2013 as well huh?

Tom

SMAUG

Movies

6. Sound City
5. Star Trek: Into Darkness
4. This Is The End
3. John Dies At The End
2. The World’s End
1. The Hobbit: The Desolation of Smaug

TV Shows 

SCHANGhhhhhhhh10. Rick and Morty
9. PTI
8. Colbert Report
7. Daily Show
6. Eagleheart
5. Venture Brothers
4. The Jeselnik Offensive
3. Aqua Teen Hunger Force
2. Community
1. Game of Thrones

Meat

Movies

SOUND CITY
10. Carrie
9. Kick Ass 2
8. Pacific Rim
7. This is the End
6. Man of Steel
5. Star Trek: Into Darkness
4. 42
3. Sound City
2. The Hobbit: The Desolation of Smaug
1. The Wolf of Wall Street

TV Shows

Meat came up with a Top Nine.  Sure, why not!

HEISENBERG9. Marvel’s Agents of S.H.I.E.L.D.
8. The Following
7. The Killing
6. Walking Dead
5. Californication
4./3. Tie: Mad Men/Breaking Bad
2. American Horror Story: Coven
1. Game of Thrones

Seb

Movies

man-of-steel-25. Iron Man 3
4. Pacific Rim
3. Star Trek: Into Darkness
2. The Incredible Burt Wonderstone
1. Man of Steel

Seb also had some Top Concerts he wanted to mention:  “Brian Setzer and Meshuggah….. Yeah, I know its weird….he he he!”

Mrs. LeBrain

SHELDONTV Shows

5. Jeopardy!
4. Dragon’s Den
3. Blue Bloods
2. The Big Bang Theory
1. Hockey Night In Canada

LeBrain

For a variety of reasons I don’t get out to the movies often, so I decided to just post Five Movies I Saw in 2013!

MoviesGARY KING

5. Man of Steel
4. This is the End
3. Sound City
2. Star Trek: Into Darkness
1. The World’s End

TV Shows

When Mrs. LeBrain wasn’t watching hockey, I watched these shows in 2013:

5. Star Trek re-runs (best I could come up with)
4. The Liquidator
3. Toy Hunter
2. Survivorman
1. Breaking Bad

LES

MOVIE REVIEW: Fido (2006)

I hope you all enjoyed your Christmas breaks if you had one! I always like to binge on movies at this time of year. Here’s one!

FIDO 2FIDO (2006 Sony Pictures)

Directed by Andrew Currie

It is the 1950’s. Post-Zombie War America is serviced by a new megacorporation called ZomCon.  Radiation caused the dead to rise, but the Zombie Wars have been won.  Zombies are domesticated, tamed, made into servants and pets.  The do the tedious jobs, the ones that nobody wants to do.   They do it without complaint and they are part of life in the subburbs.  Children are taught from gradeschool how to kill a rogue zombie with a headshot.  ZomCon controls the zombie popular with an iron fist, and electronic collars that render them harmless.

Since winning the Zombie Wars, humans must always be on guard; after all, everyone dies eventually.  Therefore each death (natural or otherwise) keeps the world going with a steady supply of new zombies. ZomCon provides security, keeps the peace, and maintains order down to every facet of society, including education.  Cities and towns are fenced off from the wild  no-man’s land in between.

Within the town of Willard, an everyday small town in Anywhere, America, the neighborhoods are inhabited by fascinating characters, both human and zombie.  Mr. Theopolis (Tim Blake Nelson) for example is an ex-ZomCon employee who now lives with Tammy, a young blonde fresh zombie who died of a brain aneurysm.  A wealthier owner has six zombies, a symbol of decadence.

Little Timmy Robinson’s family are the only one on the street who don’t have a zombie housekeeper.  Mr. Robinson claims they just can’t afford one, but the truth is he has a deep seated fear of zombies, going back to when he had to put a bullet in the brain of his own dead father.  When the ZomCom head of security moves in across the street, Mrs. Robinson buys her own zombie (Billy Connolly) so to keep up appearances.  Timmy quickly bonds with the zombie, whom he named Fido, after Fido saves him from the school bullies.  Zombies, it seems, retain a modicum of their original personalities.

Without a control collar, a zombie will eat anybody nearby.  When Fido’s collar malfunctions, he eats mean old lady Henderson!  This sets off a cascade of events that forces Timmy to cover for his zombie friend.  As the situation worsens, the death count rises…and with it the wild zombie population!  Things get weirder when it becomes apparent that Mrs. Robinson (Carrie Ann Moss) and Fido have feelings for each other.  Mr. Robinson sure doesn’t think much of Fido, nor does Mr. Bottoms, the ZomCom veteran.  As events spiral to the blood-splattered but satisfying denouement, Fido and Timmy’s loyalty to each stands firm.

When my buddy Chris recommended Fido to me, I wasn’t all that interested.  I’m on record as a Billy Connolly fan, but isn’t half of what makes him so hilarious that accent of his?  His rich weathered voice and mannerisms are priceless.  Yet somehow, Connolly pulled off a wonderful Billy-zombie hybrid.  Connolly does some of the best grunt dialogue I’ve ever heard.  His zombie-acting is spot on.  Connolly allows Fido to emote, while remaining dead.

I really enjoyed the details of this alternate Bizarro-universe that is Fido‘s 1950’s America.  Having won a war against zombies, Life magazine is now Death magazine.  Funerals are expensive affairs to arrange, with ornate head coffins to ensure that you stay dead.  Handguns can be weilded by 12 year olds (self defense), and marksmanship is taught to ZomCon cadets in school.  The world of Fido was obviously well thought out, as it is rich and detailed.  Visual and audio clues fill in the subtleties in this world.  Best of all, the Canadian filmmakers managed to do so with a budget of $8M.  Compare that to World War Z‘s $400M cost.  

I recommend Fido to fans of clever zombie films, and to fans of Connolly who just want to see him do something completely different.

4/5 stars

120x160 Aff Fido PersosK’Sun Ray as Timmy Robinson
Billy Connolly as Fido
Carrie-Anne Moss as Helen Robinson
Tim Blake Nelson as Mr. Theopolis
Dylan Baker as Bill Robinson
Henry Czerny as Jonathan Bottoms

Gallery: Christmas Haul 2013

Music, movies, and books! I’ve been very occupied these last couple days.

I get the Guiness’ Book of World Records, and the Ripley’s Believe It Or Not books every year. I imagine my surprise when I discovered a friend of ours in both books! Apparently, Sweet Pepper Klopek holds the world record for “Most Baking Sheets Buckled Over the Head for One Minute.” This is a guy who has been on my living room couch!  Lemon Kurri says:

“He’s in there a couple times. Most mouse traps sprung on a tongue in 1 min too.”

 

Lemon Kurri & Sweet Pepper

Gallery: Christmas Comes Early

IMG_00001667_edit

The “A” is for Aaron!  Thanks man!  This parcel wasn’t a total surprise but the contents inside sure were!  I’m really excited about many of these items.  (The Olivia Munn film looks great…)  I’m so overwhelmed I don’t even know where to begin.

Ahh hell.  Yes I do.  Let’s start with Pearl Jam!

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MOVIE REVIEW: Paths of Glory (1957)

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PATHS_0001PATHS OF GLORY (2010 Criterion Blu-ray, originally 1957)

Directed by Stanley Kubrick

It is the First World War. The French have dug into trenches, 500 miles long, from the English Channel to the border of Switzerland. As the film’s intro eloquently states, victories are counted in hundreds of yards gained, at the cost of hundreds of thousands of men. This is the setting of Paths of Glory, certainly and easily one of the greatest war movies of all time.

Paths of Glory, one of several Stanley Kubrick masterpieces, contains some of the most realistic First World War battle scenes ever put to film. The landscape is a cratered no-man’s land of mud, wire and bodies. The desperation is captured beautifully. The references to “shell shock” are historically accurate (it was considered to be a mythical condition by the generals of the day).

Kirk Douglas is Col. Dax, once a lawyer in his old life, now ordered to take the “Anthill”.  It’s a fortified position that German forces have held for a year. Now the French intend to take it and keep it.  All they have to do this with is tired and worn out men. Dax doesn’t think it can be done, but cannot disobey an order. The only alternative for him would have been to be relieved of duty, and Dax won’t abandon his men when they need him.

General Mireaux, his ambition clouding his judgment, set up an impossible undertaking. As is inevitable, the man are slaughtered, not even able to clear their own  barbed wire.  The few survivors were forced back by more guns and shells. A humiliated and embarrassed General Mireaux then orders his artillery to fire on his own trenches (that should keep them from retreating to them, right?)  When that order is refused, he decides to charge them for cowardice in the face of enemy. After all, someone must take the blame for this failure, and why should it be an officer? Col. Dax returns to his role of a lawyer and defends the three token men chosen at random to face the charges of cowardice.  Then, the movie morphs into courtroom drama.

PATHS_0002

Paths of Glory paints a picture of the way it was, based loosely on the practice of executing men for cowardice before they “infect” the rest of the men with it.  It’s not a pretty picture.  The trenches in the film are perhaps drier than the real trenches but the landscapes look very real indeed. Kubrick’s style here was still that of an observer, which came from his years as a newspaper photographer. He places his lenses where an observer would sit, and you can watch the events unfold like a fly on the wall.

Kirk Douglas is joined by Kubrick regulars Timothy Carey (two Kubrick films to his name), Joe Turkel (three Kubrick films) as well as Adolphe Menjou and a very young Christiane Kubrick.

The story itself is a heart wrenching look at the realities of First World War Europe, and also the human spirit. It attacks our prejudices and practices while reminding us that we are all the same regardless of our station in life. Kubrick seems to have been both fascinated by war while being repulsed by its necessity.

This being such an historically important film, I am glad that it finally received the Criterion treatment.  The restoration is very well done compared to the original DVD edition. The audio is in mono just as the original film was. I appreciate that nobody tried to tinker with the audio to make it multi-channel. This is the way Kubrick made it. Supplemental features are here including audio commentary, an essay, and a fun interview with Kirk Douglas from the 1970’s, among numerous others.

This is absolutely necessary for any fans of real war films and Stanley Kubrick. Hopefully this ushers in a set of brand new Kubrick Criterion editions. I bought two copies; the second was for my dad.

5/5 stars

Kirk Douglas … Col. Dax
Ralph Meeker … Cpl. Philippe Paris
Adolphe Menjou … Gen. George Broulard
George Macready … Gen. Paul Mireau
Wayne Morris … Lt. Roget
Richard Anderson … Maj. Saint-Auban
Joe Turkel … Pvt. Pierre Arnaud

MOVIE REVIEW: Incident at Loch Ness (2004)

“I’ve always been interested in the difference between fact and truth, and I would call it the ecstatic truth.” — Werner Herzog

 

INCIDENT AT LOCH NESS (2004 20th Century Fox)

Directed by Zak Penn, written and produced by Zak Penn and Werner Herzog

Joe has a knack for recommending movies that I end up liking.  We have a very similar sense of humour, we both find amusement in the absurd.  Joe got me to buy Werner Herzog’s Grizzly Man as well as Incident at Loch Ness, both from his bargain bin at the price of $5.99 each.  While Incident at Loch Ness has all the appearances of a Herzog film, it’s actually a documentary within a documentary within a mockumentary directed by Zak Penn (The Grand).   Incident At Loch Ness is a wry, smart rib-tickler that many just won’t get.  But I do, and I have watched it a couple dozen times over the years.

Here’s the setup: A camera crew is filming a documentary on noted filmmaker Werner Herzog called Herzog in Wonderland. At the same time, Herzog is embarking on own documentary film called Enigma of Loch Ness.   He will be shooting on location on the loch itself, and he plans to investigate the mythos surrounding it. Herzog is more interested in why people want to believe in monsters, rather than the monster itself. His producer, Zak Penn (Penn, as himself) has different ideas, and will resort to unethical trickery in order to get the blockbuster film he envisions.  The pair travel to Scotland with a film crew, but Herzog is unaware of Penn’s duplicity.

Penn hires a sexy sonar operator (Kitana Baker, as herself) with no sonar experience, and a strange cryptozologist (Michael Karnow, as himself) for comedic relief. Penn makes absurd demands of the crew, such as having the engines on the boat replaced by significantly weaker ones in order to get better sound coverage.  Through the chaos, Herzog just wants to make his movie, but the project is doomed to fail.

Incident At Loch Ness doesn’t try to be profound. Herzog (the character) never finds out just why people want to believe in a modern dinosaur. Herzog (the actor) plays it straight while Penn and Karnow play it for laughs.  The style is largely improvised, and I would rate Incident at Loch Ness equal to some of the better Christopher Guest films.

I also loved the DVD bonus features, which shed a little light (but not too much) on the making of the film. There is a comedic audio commentary track with Zak Penn that takes the gag even further as well, before cutting out abruptly mid-movie. Incident at Loch Ness is a low budget classic that I hope will appeal to those who are sick and tired and the same old comedies. It will especially appeal to fans of Herzog.  As the straight man, he’s absolutely perfect.

5/5  stars

Werner Herzog … Himself/Writer/Producer
Kitana Baker … Herself
Gabriel Beristain … Himself
Russell Williams II … Himself
David A. Davidson … Himself
Michael Karnow … Himself
Robert O’Meara … Himself
Zak Penn … Himself/Writer/Producer/Director
Steven Gardner … Himself

NSS

MOVIE REVIEW: Hot Tub Time Machine

HOT TUB TIME MACHINE (2010, Unrated)

Directed by Steve Pink

Warning:  The delightfully titled Hot Tub Time Machine is the same as every other modern comedy.   Outrageous situations! Gross-outs! Swearing!  Hollow characters!…but I liked it. What can I say, I’m easily amused. I don’t mind this kind of movie, plus it has an 80’s metal slant.  The performances by John Cusack and Rob Corddry  were good enough to keep me entertained long enough.

Plot in a nutshell: Three dudes plus Cusack’s nephew are going nowhere in life and in their relationships. Trying to dip back into the past, they visit the same ski resort that they went to back in ’86. It’s gone downhill since then, but after a drunken night in the hot tub, they wake up (gasp!) back in 1986, forced to relive one of the most interesting vacations of their lives! Will they do things the same? Will they try to change the future? Can they even get back to the future? What about the nephew?  Watch to find out!

Each character has his own trip to relive, Corddry’s being the lynchpin of the whole situation. The plot is pretty simple but the movie is fun. Great music from the 80’s — Poison, Motley Crue, and more — make this a movie for the balding generation. Heck, there’s even a vintage-looking Poison concert complete with some dude that looks exactly like C.C. Deville circa Look What The Cat Dragged In.

To its credit, the ending was a twist I didn’t expect, and I enjoyed the cast including Chevy Chase. It was fun revisiting some aspects of 1986 (even though some tunes, such as “Kickstart My Heart” didn’t come out until ’89).

Blu-ray special features include commentaries, deleted scenes and extended scenes. The best deleted scenes were multiple hilarious takes of Corrdry, who’s comes across as a pretty funny guy. Digital copy is included but don’t ask me about it, because I don’t use them. All I know is that the digital copy is just the “rated” version of the film.

3/5 stars. Don’t stop believin’!

  • John Cusack as Adam Yates
  • Rob Corddry as Lou Dorchen
  • Craig Robinson as Nick Webber
  • Clark Duke as Jacob Yates
  • Chevy Chase as Hot Tub Repair Man
  • Crispin Glover as Phil Wedmaier

MOVIE REVIEW: Grizzly Man (2005)

This is by unofficial request of the mighty Heavy Metal OverloRd.  Click and kneel before his blog of steel!

Grizzly Man has some powerful music so it totally fits LeBrain’s Record Store Tales and Reviews.

GRIZZLY MAN (2005, directed by Werner Herzog)

Wernor Herzog in his inimitable fashion constructed an intriguing portrait of a unusual subject: A man named Timothy Treadwell. Treadwell spent 13 seasons all but alone in Alaska, with the grizzly bears in their habitat.  He filmed them (getting unprecented footage), played with them, and “protected” them from their enemies (man). He got really close to the bears, making physical contact. He befriended them as much as you can befriend an animal in the wild.  He played with them, got amazing footage, but forgot the boundaries that exist between man and beast.  Especially when that beast weighs several times what you weigh, and comes equipped with sharp claws, teeth, and raw strength.  A fatal error of profound misjudgment at the end of Treadwell’s 13th season reminds us all that there are immutable boundaries that are never meant to be crossed. To do so is universally pure folly.

Herzog utilizes Treadwell’s own remarkable footage extensively through the film. Nobody had ever gotten so close to these bears in their natural habitat, and observed and learned their behaviors this extensively. Treadwell knew their individual personalities and habits, but he got too comfortable. Watching these videos of his is both profound and tragic. While documenting his own expeditions, Treadwell sometimes lapses into hysterical rants regarding society and authority, and anyone who he sees as an impediment to his way of living. Clearly, a deeply distressed individual lurks beneath the beatnik exterior of the animal lover and protector.

Treadwell’s undeniably unique passion for bears results in some special moments. I bought this DVD from Joe (I paid $5.99).  He recommended it to me, saying it was “unintentionally hilarious,” and that I would know what he meant when I saw it.

Maybe an hour into the film, I watched Treadwell admiring a pile of bear poop, and I understood.

“There’s your poop!  It just came out of her butt.  I can feel it.  I can feel the poop.  It’s warm.  It just came from her butt.  This was just inside of her.”

A fascinating glimpse at a singular, one of a kind persona, Grizzly Man is another unique Werner Herzog film that looks at his subject with a focused curiosity. Herzog conveys a childlike sense of wonder, tempered by the practical wisdom of a modern adult. As such, despite its dark subject matter and ominous aura, Grizzly Man is entertaining, educational and re-watchable. Herzog wisely avoided any graphic imagery or sounds. An audio tape of Treadwell’s final moments is only discussed and never heard in the film. Once hearing it himself, Herzog is visibly distressed and gravely advises destroying the tape.

I think Grizzly Man is among the best Herzog documentaries.  I watch it a couple times a year.

5/5 stars

Also included on this DVD is a nice feature on the music of Grizzly Man, an important part of its emotional makeup.  In particular the use of the excellent Don Edwards song “Coyotes” is unforgettable.

MOVIE REVIEW: Machete (2010)

In anticipation the of the soon-to-be-released sequel Machete Kills!

“Machete don’t text.”

MACHETE (2010, 20th Century Fox)

Directed by Robert Rodriguez

I really didn’t know what to expect when I bought Machete, sight unseen.  Can you really expand a novelty joke movie trailer into a full length movie?  If so, can you have it remain as funny, as action packed, and creative as that 3 minute spot? Robert Rodriguez answers us, “Yes”!

“They just fucked with the wrong Mexican”

Danny Trejo is awesome as our anti-hero and titular character. An unemployed machete-wielding vigilante, he has been offered a considerable sum of money to assassinate a corrupt senator (Robert DeNiro). However, it’s a double cross! The attempted shooting only boosts the senator’s popularity, thus ensuring his election victory, based on anti-immigrant propaganda.

Machete is not alone. His brother the Padre (Cheech Marin) is a gun-totin’ pot-smokin’ priest with a determination to right some wrongs. Blood, gore, people’s intestines being ripped out and used as a rope…this movie has everything you were hoping for and some things you weren’t. Done in the same campy style as Grindhouse, scratchy film and all, if you’re in on the joke you will love Machete. If you don’t get it, hey that’s cool.  They’re still making Fast & Furious films.

Jessica Alba, Michelle Rodriguez, Don Johnson, Jeff Fahey, and Steven Segal round out the cast, and they were all clearly having a blast. DeNiro especially seems like he was having a great time camping it up with his cheesiest character yet. And then there’s the most overrated star of all time, Lindsay Lohan. I’m not sure what she’s doing here, except to attract some more viewers who want to see her frolicking around topless.

Blu-ray bonus features are kind of sparse, but there are deleted scenes. There’s also an audience reaction audio track, and I always enjoy those with a film like this.  It gives you the feeling of being there in the theater.  Still, I was hoping for more bonus features, like another one of Robert’s cooking features. They’re fun. Ahh well.

If you are a fan of this genre, and liked movies such as Grindhouse or Black Dynamite, you will love Machete. If you’re looking for glossy Hollywood action, look elsewhere.

5/5 stars

MOVIE REVIEW: Tenacious D in The Pick of Destiny (with bonus DVD)

TENACIOUS D in THE PICK OF DESTINY (2007 Alliance Atlantis, Best Buy exclusive 2 DVD set)

Starring Jack Black and Kyle Gass, directed by Liam Lynch

I shudder to think what some poor soul who liked Jack Black in The Holiday would think if they gave this one a try. This is for one, and only one, group of people: the rabid, dedicated fans of Jack Black & Kyle Gass as Tenacious D.

PICK OF DESTINYThe titular Pick of Destiny is a guitar pick, made centuries ago, out of the tooth of Satanus (that’s Latin, for Satan) himself. Since then it has been seen in the hands of Angus Young, Jimmy Page, Eddie Van Halen, and many more.  This bequeathed upon them their amazing guitar-shredding abilities. The only way that JB and KG can pay the rent would be to win the talent contest, and the only way to do that would be to play the greatest song ever written…with the Pick.

Ben Stiller informs them that the Pick is located, under heavy security, in the Rock N’ Roll History Museum.  Tim Robbins tips them off about the deadly laser grid guarding it. Undaunted, our heroes still quest after the Pick, even when Dave Grohl as Satanus himself comes to reclaim what is his.

There’s a whole lotta drug use (hey, it’s Jack Black), so make sure your kids don’t see this. Hell, the very first sequence before the the movie even begins is a cartoon about lighting up a joint, eating a burrito, and farting. Just so you know what kind of film you’re looking at here.

I’ve been a huge D fan, and I love this movie.  My friends love this movie. This is a party movie. The best time I ever had watching this movie was at a party.

The Demon Code prevents me from declining a Rock-off challenge

The new original Tenacious D soundtrack is remarkable in both quality of the songwriting and lyrics.  The performances are equally impressive.  “Beelzeboss” and “Kickapoo” are two personal favourites. Dave Grohl, Meat Loaf, and Ronnie James Dio all contribute guest vocals in their own signature styles. In a weird way, The Pick Of Destiny is actually a musical.

The movie was also available with a limited edition Best Buy bonus disc, if you can find it. The second disc is over an hour long, and contains 17 extended and deleted scenes. You’ll see a slightly longer version of the Neil Hamburger cameo, and a lot of alternate takes and bloopers. Best of all are the “Hell O’Clock News” segments. These were originally web-shorts that were done to promote the making of the film (in Hell, apparently). Each one features Jack, Kyle, or director Liam Lynch, in funny (ridiculous) skits. Very watchable, and more importantly, re-watchable. I assure you that buying the 2 DVD version is your wisest course of action.

5/5 stars