That was tasty. And the music wasn’t bad either.
Heard some Priest, Maiden, Drive By Truckers, Orange Goblin, Boz Skaggs, Queensryche, Funkadelic, and lots more. Wonder what’s up for Day Two? Stay tuned right here.
We have arrived! I got a sweet setup and lots of shade. Drinking a coffee beverage and getting ready for day one of the Countdown!
I had one of the best swims of my life!
Sausagefest 2019
New vehicle. New tent. New canopy. New chairs. New camera. New Kiss Crocs. New jokes. New songs. Same old me.
I have the meat, now I just need the Meat. I have specially curated a number of 8 gig flash drives full of music, including the entire Kiss catalogue. There’s an old riddle dating back to at least 2015: “How many versions of “Beth” does it take to wake up Uncle Meat?” We’ll find out!
I’m in a Bosstones mood so let’s rock! I will be openly campaigning for enough votes to get this song on the Countdown in 2020.
VINYL DISC
If you love physical media (and chances are that you do or you wouldn’t be reading this) then you probably love it in all its myriad shapes and forms. Let’s be honest, when it comes to sheer varieties, there are far more weird vinyls out there than CDs. Picture discs, shaped discs, discs with liquid or actual objects inside the record, odd speeds, colours, thicknesses…you can take the vinyl LP in so many different directions. When you mess around with the CD format (shaped discs, enhanced discs, CD/DVD DualDiscs) you often end up with a product that won’t play in all players. Vinyl tends to be good to go for whatever turntable you have, though you will need a manual over an automatic when it comes to the Vinyl Disc. That’s because it’s a 5″ disc, not a 7″, so you want to make sure you drop the arm on the media and not the platter.
When it comes to odd formats, Youtuber Techmoan (or Mat if you’re not into handles) is the expert. When I saw his video on the subject, I knew I wanted to get a Vinyl Disc just for the novelty value. This is a CD that has normal CD content on one side, but a groove on the other. This groove can be played on a record player, revealing a bonus track. I wondered if any bands I liked had ever released one.
It turns out, one had: The Hellacopters, who are vinyl-mad in the first place. I have a couple albums of theirs with vinyl-only bonus tracks. I didn’t own the album Head Off, so I went to Discogs and got the Vinyl Disc version.
In his video, Techmoan complained of the poor sound quality on the vinyl side of the CD. My copy of Head Off was factory sealed, but still suffers from pops. Perhaps I should not have played the CD side first. The vinyl side could have picked up dust from inside my computer. I played the vinyl side twice, the second time after a light cleaning. Both times there were loud, distracting pops. You can see them clearly in Audacity.
The sound quality was never going to be as good as a real record, not with those grooves packed so tight. And how deep can they actually be? Of course it has to play at 33 1/3 RPM. While it’s not as bad a flexi-disc quality, don’t expect much better performance than that. It’s flat and indistinct.
You also end up with inner groove distortion over the entire song, simply because a Vinyl Disc is basically all inner groove. Look at the pictures below. The entire disc is well within the runout groove on an LP, being just a little larger than the label. It’s darned close on a standard 45. Point is, compared to real vinyl, this disc is tiny, and that has consequences.
Distortion and noise matters less with a band like the Hellacopters. A little inner groove distortion sounds OK on them, but not for other groups. So, the vinyl side of the Vinyl Disc is a novelty. Serious record fanatics are not going to want to listen to it, because it won’t be up to par for them.
What about the CD side? No issues whatsoever. It plays exactly like it should, with no side effects that sometimes plague non-standard CDs. In this case, the album is only 36 minutes long, which I am sure will have many people asking “then why bother with putting another song on the other side? Why not put them all together on the CD side?”
A very good question.
Look, this type of CD was launched in 2007 and only lasted about a year. There was a reason it didn’t catch on, and you can hear that reason. For 99% of the population, all they would have needed was all the songs on the CD. It’s the 1% of us nutters that love weird stuff like this. There is a very, very low number of people who sit up at night thinking, “Would it possible to play a CD on a record player if it had grooves?” But I promise you, we exist, and our questions have been answered.
Yes, it’s possible.
But no, there really isn’t a good reason to want to do it. Oh, I suppose if you had an album that was just over 80 minutes, and you needed to leave a song off (like Extreme did), you could have put it all on one Vinyl Disc. But for far less cost, you also could have just included two CDs.
The vinyl disc comes with a little spacer, like a foam donut, so the larger CD hole will fit nicely on a record player. This ensures nice smooth play.
Whoever it was that figured out how to marry a CD to a record, they are unsung geniuses. They answered the questions of insomniac format-heads worldwide, and they got it to work.
Just because it doesn’t work particularly well doesn’t mean it wasn’t worth it.
It’s Canada Day up Canada way. I hope you had a safe and happy one. Here’s what I did on my Canada Day vacation.
HELIX – Icon (2018 Universal vinyl)
New Helix vinyl? Yes please.
The Icon series of compilations used to be a budget CD line that you could pick up for $5 or under. Now, you can even get ’em on vinyl. Buy ’em direct from Helix mainman Brian Vollmer and he’ll sign it for you. This copy is signed by all five current Helix members, including a pre-injury Fritz Hinz.
As far as Helix compilations go, you can’t do much with just 11 tracks. Even so, Icon has some surprises and plenty of pleasers. There’s also enough difference from 2016’s compilation Rock It Science to justify it. Opening with the one-two punch of “Rock You” and “Heavy Metal Love”, Helix top loaded this thing with their best known songs. Perfect for the newcomer, or just a great party.
From there it’s “The Dirty Dog”, a long time Helix concert favourite. This is followed in quick succession by some great singles: “Gimme Gimme Good Lovin'”, “Wild in the Streets” and the dark ballad “Deep Cuts the Knife”. All three songs are considered to be Helix classics. “Deep Cuts the Knife”, written by guitarist Paul Hackman, is a particularly powerful ballad. The entire first side is from the Capitol Records years, featuring the best known Helix lineup: Vollmer, Hinz, Hackman, Brent Doerner and Daryl Gray.
Side two has a different flavour. Only the hit “The Kids are All Shakin'” originates in the 1980s. This top Helix pop rock track is followed by the Helix of the 90s and today. “Good to the Last Drop” is another ballad, but much brighter than “Deep Cuts the Knife”. This is the original album mix, with minimal keyboards. Then it’s “Runnin’ Wild in the 21st Century”, kicking your teeth in at lightspeed. The last two songs feature some help from guitarist extraordinaire Sean Kelly. A razor sharp “Even Jesus Wasn’t Loved in His Home Town” comes from 2014’s excellent Bastard of the Blues. The aggressive rocker is based on the fact that Helix can’t even their new songs played on the radio in their home town of Kitchener, Ontario. Finally, the 2016 single “Gene Simmons Says (Rock Is Dead)” tells the demon where it’s at! Maybe Helix don’t get radio play in Canada but rock ain’t dead — not if Vollmer and Co. have anything to say about it!
When it comes to Helix compilations, they are so numerous that you can really take your pick. If you really care about the band, then just buy ’em direct from Vollmer at Planet Helix. There are loads to choose from, but only this one was ever made on vinyl. Or, you can just go CD! Either way, support the boys if you’re gonna buy some Helix.
4/5 stars
EXCLUSIVE! Dr. Kathryn talks about new album MASKED out later this year!
In Record Store Tales #733, I revealed the name I wished to use if I ever got good enough to have a band: Joy in Blue. This week, I discovered lost recordings of the very first incarnation of the band. At least that is how I billed it on the cassette that I found.
There were three of us in my parents’ basement that day in ’92. Tim Solie on ukulele. A guy named Aaron (but not this Aaron or that Aaron) on electric guitar. Me on acoustic guitar and lead vocals. My biggest influences on this song are James Hetfield and Mike Patton, and I think you can hear that.
Please enjoy:
“(Can You Tell Me How to Get To) Sesame Street” (take two)
Written by Joe Raposo and performed by Mike, Tim & Aaron.
I was going to save it for my box set, but I’ll let you hear it for free.
HELIX –
Helix have really done it this year. They have a new album (Old School) made up of some pretty excellent songs that were never completed before. On top of that, you can also get brand new reissues of their first two indi albums, Breaking Loose and White Lace & Black Leather. Those two albums have already been reviewed in full, so this time we will focus primarily on the perks of these new CD versions.
Both discs feature lyrics, rare photos, and liner notes by Brian Vollmer. All essential things for a reissue, so what else? Unreleased tracks, that’s what else. Good ones! The hell, Brian? Where have you been hiding this stuff? If anyone assumed thought Helix cleared the vaults with their B-Sides album, they were mistaken. Maybe Universal should have been storing their tapes at Planet Helix….
Too soon?
Breaking Loose features “Let Me Take You Dancin'” (not the Bryan Adams song), apparently the first song they ever recorded, at the behest of manager William Seip. You can understand why they didn’t put it out, considering the Disco revolution going around. It’s too dance-y for what Helix wanted to be: a rock band. With 40 years hindsight, it’s bloody brilliant. Full-on horn section blasting away on a blatantly commercial rock song with just a whif of surf rock. Nothing wrong with any of that in 2019. “Sidewalk Sally” is the very first Brent Vollmer/Brian Doerner composition and you can tell by Dr. Doerner’s trademark chunky riff. This song is strictly outtake quality, but it’s notable for historic reasons (and the pretty advanced drumming by Brian Doerner).
The second album, White Lace & Black Leather, has two interesting bonus cuts as well. Brent Doerner wrote and sang a killer tune called “When the Fire is Hot”, which is one of the songs submitted to Capitol that got them signed. It’s never been released. It’s a very unpolished demo, but with a serious stomp and stunning guitar solo. The final bonus track is an unreleased early version of “White Lace & Black Leather”, which was re-recorded for their third album No Rest for the Wicked. See, for the first couple Helix albums, you had to wait until the next record to get the title track!
A brief talk about the albums themselves: both are chock full of great, unpolished youthful rock. Helix were just learning how to make records, but they had more than enough original material. Between the key songwriters (Paul Hackman, Brian Vollmer & Brent Doerner), they had plenty of quality songs. “Billy Oxygen”, “I Could Never Leave”, “Here I Go Again”, “You’re a Woman Now” and “Wish I Could Be There” from the first album alone are must-haves. Nobody should be forced to live their life without hearing “Billy Oxygen”. The second LP was almost as great as the first. “It’s Too Late”, “Breaking Loose”, “Mainline”, and “It’s What I Wanted” stand with the best material from the first. Sure, the band were rough around the edges, but they could already sing, play and write. They were goin’ places!
As for the mastering job, the music is not brickwalled like the versions of some songs on the Rock It Science CD. These discs are the versions to get; the expanded tracklist making them musts to the collecting fan who already own them all. Best of all, Planet Helix is offering them and the new Helix album for just 40 bucks. 40 bucks for 3 CDs is a ridiculous deal. I daresay these two albums have been steady companions to me over the years, and I look forward to re-enjoying them in this new form.
5/5 stars for Breaking Loose
4/5 stars for White Lace & Black Leather
GETTING MORE TALE #764: Go Wild!!
It’s a rite of passage for children and adults alike: going to see the animals at African Lion Safari in southern Ontario. The children thrill to the sights of lions, rhinos, elephants and all sorts of exotic birds. Adults panic at the monkeys climbing on their cars. Sure, you can always visit the Safari in one of their tour buses, but that’s no fun.
At the African Lion Safari, the animals run free while the humans stay safely locked in their cars. Open doors and windows are prohibited, and you absolutely must not feed the animals. I saw what happens to fools that do.
We won’t get into the ethics of animals in captivity — that is not what this story is about. Many are passionate about animal rights, and that’s a good thing. This is just a simple tale of our adventure at the Safari in the early 2000s. Incidentally it’s also the last time we went.
It started with a conversation. “When was the last time you were at African Lion Safari?” My sister Kathryn, our friend Shannon, and I decided to relive our childhoods. The key was driving through the Safari in your own car. Tour buses are for chumps. To do this, you had to be willing to accept potential damage to your vehicle. I’ve never seen anyone rammed by a rhino, but windshield wipers are regularly ripped off by excited monkeys. My sister was driving a white Neon, and she decided she was willing to accept whatever happened.
We needed tunes. Stopping at an HMV store, my sister and I both bought CDs that were indicative of the times. Although it was far from my favourite album, I re-bought Crush by Bon Jovi. For the third time in a row, they re-issued their new studio album with a bonus CD. Keep the Faith had a bonus live album, while These Days was loaded with rarities on the second CD. I was disappointed but not surprised that I would be buying their new album twice, as it was becoming the norm. Crush was the weakest of the three albums. It was the first to be co-written by Billy Falcon, and it was a sign of things to come. But I had to have that bonus live CD.
Kathryn picked up a double Savage Garden. She was very much into the Australian pop rock duo, as they reminded her of an earlier band she loved — Roxette. Like Bon Jovi, Savage Garden reissued their album with a bonus live CD. Don’t scoff. Savage Garden (or just “Savage”, as I learned their fans shortened it) could really write songs. Unlike Bon Jovi, they didn’t rely on external songsmiths. And Steve Smith of Journey played drums on their second album.
We had the tunes, we had the white Neon, and we lined up to enter.
It was a scorching hot August day; thanks to God for air conditioning. Taking the car allowed us to linger in certain habitats, and skip through ones we were less interested in. Early in, we saw one family that must have been feeding animals, because now they had a big brown bear leaning on their car, staring through the closed windows. This is why you don’t open the windows or feed the animals. Fortunately there are park workers in zebra-striped trucks roaming the grounds to keep an eye on things. Injuries are rare, though recently a trainer was badly hurt by an elephant.
We were having a great time right into the monkey habitat. Unlike most drivers, we were hoping to catch a few monkey passengers. Swiftly, one attached himself to Kathryn’s side view mirror. I say “himself” because he sat on that mirror with his legs wide open, balls blowin’ in the wind. He was having a great old time, sitting on her side view with his balls dangling free. I like to think that Bon Jovi’s “It’s My Life” was playing at that exact moment. It looked quite relaxing and comfortable for our monkey friend. His balls hung like red Christmas ornaments.
You can tell this story is pre-cell phone cameras. Otherwise we would have video and photos to prove it.
As Monkey Nuts let it all hang out over my sister’s mirror, I noticed behind us a car full of children. They had New York license plates, and they were pointing and laughing hysterically. At first I thought they were laughing at the testicles, like I was. They were not. I figured that out when Monkey Nuts jumped ship for somewhere else to hang.
“What are they laughing at?!” I asked with frustration in my voice. They were still pointing at us!
“Don’t worry about it!” scoffed Shannon.
I was still puzzled.
We figured it out in short order.
After exiting the Safari, we all got out of the car to stretch our legs. Then, it was all clear. On the roof of my sister’s white car was a perfectly hilarious monkey poo. While Mr. Testicles was distracting us on the side view, a friend of his must have been on the roof, using it as his own personal commode. After leaving his deposit, it began to cook in the hot August sun.
As Jon Bon Jovi said himself, “Say it isn’t so. Tell me it’s not true”. Ah, but it was.
Our first stop on the ride home: a drive-through car wash. It was tragically too late. The poo residue was stuck on there, and good. She was going to have to clean this one up manually, and she was on her own with that.
Savage Garden probably said it best on “The Animal Song”.
“Cause I want to live like animals,
Careless and free like animals,
I want to live,
I want to run through the jungle.”
Let your balls hang free on the side view mirror of life.
mikeladano.com 