RECORD STORE TALES Part 114: Albums That Don’t Exist
I had plenty of requests for albums that didn’t exist. Or at least, I don’t think they exist. Am I right or wrong? Leave a comment.
Who. Not The Who. Not The Guess Who. Just…Who. I was told that albums by this band exist. I can’t imagine how a band could be called just “Who”, but the customer swore up and down that’s the band, not to be confused by the other two.
Jewel’s first album, before Pieces Of You. Maybe she released an indi album? Regardless, the thought of any showing up in a used CD store in southern Ontario, all the way from Alaska, wasn’t too likely if they existed at all!
Blue Rodeo’sGreatest Hits…but years before they actually released one. In the mid to late 1990’s A lot of people were baffled by a band that had 7 or 8 studio albums, but no hits collection. Yet it was insisted to me by a customer that not only did they have a greatest hits CD, but that they’d seen it for sale elsewhere.
Five solo albums, by all five Backstreet Boys, released simultaneously. A feat to make Kiss jealous, unfortunately such albums do not exist. Which makes me wonder what the lady was smoking when she mocked me for not knowing about them, since “Walmart has them!” Don’t know how they got something that doesn’t exist. But that’s what she said. I guess that makes me the dumbass.
Black Sabbath1991, an album that supposedly came between Tyr and Dehumanizer. The guy kept calling for this album that never existed. My best guess is that he was looking for Lynyrd Skynyrd 1991?
BUDGIE – “You’re All Living In Cuckooland” (2006 Noteworthy Productions)
24 years passed between this and the last Budgie studio album. Not that you can tell, as “You’re All Living In Cuckooland” sounds like classic Budgie to the last detail. The cover art even looks like classic Budgie! No computer generated images here, and the classic Budgie logo is intact! Drummer Steve Williams has returned, and the guitar slot was filled by the excellent Simon Lees (although I understand Craig Goldy of Dio toured with them a lot).
Right from the first track, “Justice”, you know that Budgie are back. Burke Shelley’s unmistakable voice is as vintage-Geddy as ever, and the sound of this band has hardly changed at all. Maybe there are some slicker effects on the guitars, but the style is 100% Budgie. The songwriting is still idiosyncratic Budgie, except for some unaccompanied acoustic tracks which Burke wrote alone. Musicianship is in the forefront and production is sharp, although I can’t hear enough bass for my tastes. To me, early Budgie was all about Burke’s slinky bass lines, and I want to hear them!
Highlights include:
The solidly heavy “Justice”.
“Dead Men Don’t Talk” and its positively squirrly solos.
The psuedo-title track, “We’re All Living In Cuckooland”, an acoustic number that remained lodged firmly in my skull for days.
“I’m Compressing The Comb On A Cockerel’s Head”, the 8 minute closer with its stuttering tremelo guitar solos. Yet another oddball Budgie song title too. I love it!
RECORD STORE TALES PART 113: Destiny (“It’s Like It Was Meant To Be”)
Sometimes, like destiny, something cool arrived on my counter at random. Something I’d been hunting for. Something special, that hit the spot at exactly the right time. That was the beauty of used CD’s. Even more than a box of chocolate, you truly never knew what you were going to get!
For example:
IAN GILLAN – The Best Of
I had pretty much cleaned up on Deep Purple, and I was ready to start exploring the solo projects of people like Gillan, Glover and Lord. Like it was meant to be, suddenly The Best Of Ian Gillan showed up! This compilation covered his two most recent solo releases, Tool Box and Naked Thunder. Both albums are hard to get, and I still don’t have them! This compilation hit the spot.
I remember Statham coming into the store while I was playing the opening track, “Hung Me Out to Dry”. He chuckled at the opening screams! “What is this?” he laughed. But he respected my choice instead of mocking it which is more than I can say for some of the coworkers! You never see this stuff used in these parts, but once in a blue moon. I truly felt like I’d hit a home run!
Another example:
DEEP PURPLE – “Haunted” (CD single)
I’d been planning on ordering this one online. I found it on the German Amazon site, but only there so far. All the single had was a bonus remix of “Haunted”, but as a Deep Purple completist, this is the kind of rarity that I seek. CD singles tended to be a European thing and hard to get here. I was prepared to have to pay up to $15 for this single….
When suddenly a guy brought in not one but TWO promotional copies with the bonus track! Unmarked promotional copies, as in only the case was marked, which you can replace. SCORE! I saved myself some cash on that lucky happenstance, and the other copy sold off the shelf in short order.
A third great example:
JOURNEY – Trial By Fire (Japanese import)
I had been collecting Journey rarities, especially the Steve Perry years. I saw a Japanese import of the final album they did with him, Trial By Fire, at HMV 333 Yonge in Toronto. It was $40 or $45. The bonus track was “I Can See It In Your Eyes”. It just wasn’t in the budget that day. I had several Japanese imports in my hands that day, and something had to be sacrificed. Journey didn’t make the cut.
And then a couple weeks later, one of my regulars, Conrad, sold me a mint condition copy, bonus track intact. Instead of paying $45, I paid $15! Score!
THE BLACK CROWES – Before The Frost…Until The Freeze (2009 Silver Arrow)
I didn’t know what to expect when I cracked the seal on my brand new vinyl LP of Before The Frost…Until The Freeze. The Crowes do something different every time. Reemember how different By Your Side was from Three Snakes? And how Lions was from both of those? Not to mention Southern Harmony compared to Money Maker…
The Crowes have done it again, with an album different from their others, and they did it right. Not that Warhorse was a bad album at all, although it’s one that remains tucked away on my shelves most of the time. This time, the Crowes are digging way, way back to their roots. The album is evocative of many eras of American music, from the 1920’s to the 1970’s, with an emphasis on the blues. There’s also some bluegrass on this album, plenty of acoustics, and a little bit of funk.
And interestingly,a lot of it seems to be recorded live in front of a studio audience. Amazing atmosphere on Before The Frost…Until The Freeze!
I will say that this album should really be owned on vinyl. I own both the vinyl and CD formats, and vinyl is the most enjoyable listen. The vinyl comes with all 20 tracks in a more logical order. The CD comes with 10 songs, and a download code to the get the rest. It’s nice that you can get all 20 songs via download, but I’m too old-school for that. I want to own these songs on some form of plastic. Some form of physical product. I want to hear these songs breathe on vinyl, because the Crowes are meant for vinyl.
Here’s your track list for both LPs. The first record is more mellow, rootsy and acoustic. The second, more electric and blues-driven.
Record one — Green vinyl!
“Aimless Peacock” – 6:40
“Good Morning Captain” – 3:24
“Been a Long Time (Waiting on Love)” – 7:47
“Greenhorn” – 7:12
“Appaloosa” – 3:35
“The Shady Grove” – 4:42
“The Garden Gate” – 4:21
“Shine Along” – 4:47
“Roll Old Jeremiah”- 4:40
“Houston Don’t Dream About Me” – 5:05
Record two — White vinyl!
“I Ain’t Hiding” – 5:57
“Kept My Soul” – 5:23
“Lady of Ave. A” – 5:20
“Make Glad” – 4:18
“And the Band Played On…” – 4:12
“What Is Home?” – 5:13
“So Many Times” – 4:53
“A Train Still Makes a Lonely Sound” – 4:23
“Fork in the River” – 4:11
“The Last Place That Love Lives” – 4:57
To give you an example of why you need to hear this on vinyl, the first track, “Aimless Peacock”, is a nice acoustic instrumental. It segues pretty seamlessly into “Good Morning Captain”, a beautiful song. Well, if you buy the CD, “Good Morning Captain” is track 1, and “Aimless Peacock” is track 1 of the free downloads. So you miss that transition.
The best songs for me:
“The Garden Gate” — pure bluegrass. Could have been on the O Brother soundtrack. Beautiful song, amazing song. And this one isn’t even on the CD version, just the vinyl/download.
“I Ain’t Hiding” — wow. You go from the very bluegrass first LP, to this opening track on record two, which is pure 70’s disco funk. That’s why you need to hear this on two LPs! This is track 5 on the CD, which makes its appearance more jarring.
Other standouts include “Appaloosa”, “Roll Old Jeremiah”, Rich’s “What Is Home?”, and “Good Morning Captain”, but really this is a great album, all 20 songs. It’s a great one to just chill and relax to. I think it’s becoming my favourite Crowes album. I’m a big fan of Amorica, but when I can find the time to devote to it, I think I prefer Before The Frost…Until The Freeze.
1.“I just have this image of Josh shaking his ‘thing'”. Not actually spoken in-store, this was found on the ground on a piece of pink notepaper, after a gaggle of school girls had left the store. Odd.
2.“I’ll tell you something, somebody’s getting fat off that Gumbo thing!” said the surly old man when I showed him the price of the Forrest Gump soundtrack. Too rich for him!
3.“So how is the new N’Sync CD, is it decent?” Why would you even ask this question of a guy wearing a Kiss shirt?
4.“I hear good things about it.” My response. This was a standardized response for if you hadn’t heard the album in question, or had heard it but hated it. For example, “How’s the new Nickelback?” The correct answer would have been, “I hear good things about it.”
5. Another standardized answer for questions like that: “If you liked their last album, you’ll like this one.”
6.“Can I try these out?” said the guy holding about dozen discs, 10 minutes before closing time. (Luckily, we had a policy of shutting down the CD players 15 minutes before close to avoid these situations.)
7.“Sorry man. These things are on timers. I can’t even turn it on.” This is what you said if a simple, “No, sorry man, we’re closing,” wasn’t good enough. And people believed it! There was a neat trick. The headphones were hooked up to these little amps. But if I shut down the amp, there was a good 20-30 second delay before the music died. So I covertly could flip a switch to kill the amp, walk across the store, and be doing something else before the customer’s music stops. Then when they’d say, “Hey, the music stopped, I don’t know what happened,” I would respond: “Sorry man. Those things are on timers. We’re closing and they automatically shut down at this time.” This was reserved for the jerks who abused the players.
8.“Sorry man, this CD is too scratched for me to take,” said I, to the customer selling the disc. His classic response? “Fuck! That’s what you said when I brought it in last time! But this time I fuckin’ buffed it in Turtle Wax!”
9. When we first opened, we had a big huge sign that said “WE PAY CSAH FOR USED CDS“.
10. The man from the sign company came in to fix the sign. He said to me, and I swear to God I’m not making this up — he said to me, “That’s Bill. He spells ‘cash’ wrong on every sign.”
BONUS 11! “Hey man. You spelled ‘cash’ wrong on your sign you know.” No kidding? And Bill fuckin’ spelled it wrong, not me!
They said there could be no Accept without Udo! But here we are, two albums deep onto a healthy Accept rennaissance with Mark Tornillo at the mic. Wolf Hoffman and company have carried on with class. Has there ever been a metal band that so seemlessly replaced their beloved longtime original throat?
I think on Stalingrad, Tornillo’s fitting in better than ever. It seemed to my ears that they have upped the SPM (screams-per-minute) on this Accept album, and Tornillo’s never sounded better honestly. I guess that big long tour really tightened everybody up, because the whole band sounds awesome.
Stalingrad is very much a companion record to the successful comeback Blood Of The Nations. It sound like a natural succession, with perhaps a little more emphasis on melody and catchiness. The tracks are still as Teutonically heavy as before, but there seems to be just the oddest incremental increase in melody.
Strongest songs:
“Stalingrad”, “Flash To Bang Time”, “Shadow Soldiers”, “Us Against The World”, they’re all good! I also liked the 9/11 song “Never Forget”, which is a bonus track on some editions.
On a final note, I think Peter Baltes is a damn fine and underrated metal bassist. He sounds great on this album!
IRON MAIDEN – Virtual Lights Strikes Over France (1998, bootleg CD)
This awkward title was a disc I was really looking forward to playing. I snagged it in early 2000 at a record show in London, Ontario. I remember wanting to look at the discs before I bought it, because cheap bootlegs on CD-R’s were becoming more common. I wanted to make sure this was an actual factory pressed CD, not a CD-R, and the seller pretended she didn’t know what a CD-R was!
I like the Blaze-era Maiden albums and I was eager to have a live document of those years of some kind. A quick glance at the back cover reveals this concert to be an excellent choice. Not only do they play 7 of the 8 songs from Virtual XI, but there are three bonus tracks from 1996’s X Factour as well. All in all, an excellent cross section of Blaze material, with a smattering of Bruce and Paul.
Upon first listen, however, I was horrified! Blaze is shockingly tuneless! The rumours of his voice being shot during the Virtual XI tour seem to be confirmed. Judging by his recent solo output, his voice is much stronger today. But in 1998, something was clearly very wrong. He misses notes more often than he hits them on this one. Neither Blaze nor Steve Harris have really elaborated on the why’s.
Gratefully, the 1996 recordings are much stronger. Blaze’s voice here was album-quality strong. These three tracks are truthfully the only thing on this disc that I can stand listening to. The rest is just tunelessly bad.
I remember getting this for Christmas of 1994. “Blown away” about sums it up.
Is Dogman their best album? No, but it sure was a shock to my system when I first heard it. Back in the 1990’s, I skipped the previous (self-titled) album and picked this up based solely on the strength of the killer first single “Dogman”. I could not believe the song — groovy, basic, heavy, angry but loaded with soul and melody. Just like King’s X in general, but “Dogman” upped the heavy and downplayed some of King’s X whimsy.
When I got the album Dogman, one thing surprised me — not one song was sung by Ty Tabor! Except for the bridge on “Dogman”, all lead vocals were handled by Doug Pinnick. This was disappointing to me as I like bands with two lead singers. I never heard why Ty doesn’t sing on it, but I adjusted. Truthfully every song on Dogman is a winner, and are suited to Doug’s vocals. In hindsight, it fits the direction.
I mean, this band is so freakin’ talented! From the sheer unique sound of this band, mixing progressive rock with heavy metal and soul, mixed with the Beatles and so much more…you can’t see enough good things about King’s X. I love Doug’s bass, I think he’s playing 8 or 12 string in spots. But what makes this band unique is Doug’s voice. Nobody else has that.
Doug’s lyrics are quite obtuse (I don’t know what “Tide, underside my pillow, willow, whoa-oh, thundering” means) but the way he sings it sure sounds like he has something to get off his chest. “Passionate” might be one way to describe these songs. At the same time there are slower songs like “Flies and Blue Skies” that I won’t call a ballad, but have that ballady vibe.
Highlights: The title track, “Shoes”, “Cigarettes”, “Pillow”, “Pretend”, “Fool You”, “Go To Hell”, “Complain”, and…hell. All the rest.
I really like “Cigarettes”…it’s just mournful. “Shoes” is more upbeat and grooving, although still with dark undertones. Really, the whole album has darker undertones than previous King’s X releases. And that’s just fine. It was 1994. What are you gonna do?
Lowlights: None. There are no weak songs. Maybe just the live version of “Manic Depression” (Hendrix). I liked that they tacked on a live cover at the end of the album, it’s just not my favourite Hendrix tune by a good margin.
Notably, this is King’s X first album without Sam Taylor producing. It was crushingly produced for the 1990’s by Brendan O’Brien.
RECORD STORE TALES PART 111: The Girl In the Sam Roberts Shirt
Saturday, Sept. 17, 2005. I had a rare Saturday off, and I wasn’t wasting it.
I was single, and interested in a couple different girls. First there was Mel. She was a nice but just always in a hurry. She drove like a maniac and for her it was all rush-rush-rush. We had a “date” that Saturday morning. We were heading to St. Jacobs to go to the market.
Well, this wasn’t the kind of market excursion I was used to. She was rushing from vendor to vendor, getting what she needed, with no time to look around! I had a couple things I wanted to buy and she paced and tapped her toes waiting as I looked. It wasn’t comfortable. I ended up buying some T-shirts (Bob Marley and Slash) and a Lego set. The Lego set, the Ultimate Collector’s Series Y-Wing fighter, was $200. She wanted to pay for it. That creeped me out a bit, considering I barely knew this girl. I said no. And that was basically it. She drove me home, and that was all. No sparks, just the creeps.
Before I went on my date with Mel, I was up all night talking to Jen. Jen was from Brampton. She was a hockey loving Christian who also liked Johnny Cash and Nirvana. I didn’t even sleep that night, we were on the phone until daylight. I said to Jen, “I have this date with this Mel girl in a few hours. But I don’t even really want to go.” In a way I was relieved that the “date” didn’t go well. I wasn’t into it, and even though she was a hockey-loving Christian, and I hadn’t been to church in almost 20 years, I had a much better connection with Jen.
I spent Saturday putting together my Lego set. It actually took me all week to finish. It was massive.
Sunday the 18th I had to work. I grew to hate working Sundays. I don’t remember anything about that work day at all — maybe I’ve blocked it out? Jen recalls a little bit. She remembers me telling her that I was having a shitty day at the store. Sundays were usually pretty busy right from the get-go, and Sundays we were usually inundated with jerk knobs and dipsticks. It wasn’t a great part of town to work in. We attracted a high ratio of customers that did not carry any kind of currency, but needed to kill time listening to music at a CD store.
“Hey!” she said. “Are you doing anything tonight?”
“Well, nothing I can’t cancel,” I said. “Why?”
“Do you want to come down to Brampton and hang out?”
Sure! I was down for that. She gave me the directions, and I hopped in my green Dodge Neon and hit the highway.
I pulled into the driveway, and a blonde girl wearing a Sam Roberts T-shirt, with the bluest eyes I’d ever seen was waiting for me. She smiled a smile that lit up the whole day. I was wearing the Marley shirt that I bought the day before. The night flew by. We went to a park and played on the swings. We went to Sonny’s, and had some of their legendary poutine, and probably the best cheeseburger I’ve ever had in my life. The night flew by.
I had to work Monday morning, as usual. I left Brampton around 9 so I could get home and get to bed at a decent hour. As I drove down Dixie Road towards Highway 401, I said to myself, “That girl is special. Whatever you do, you have to make sure she doesn’t get hurt. She’s different than the others you’ve met.”
And she was. And 3 years later, Jen became Mrs. LeBrain.
While I’m qualified to talk about Helix, I’m not qualified to talk about what this single means to a Toronto Maple Leafs fan. For that reason, I’m handing this one over to Mrs. LeBrain!
HELIX – “All I Want For Christmas is the Leafs to Win the Cup” (2012 Helix Records 7″ single)
Helix has their Heavy Mental Christmas – This is the carol I will sing to my great-grandchildren…
All I want for Christmas… Is the Leafs to win the CUP. That is a present worth fighting for.
From my earliest memories I have been “torontomaplegirl”. This song sings to everything that I am. The Toronto Maple Leafs have one of the longest droughts in professional sports, but their fans, oh their fans will be loyal until the end of time.
We load up in cars and airplanes to watch them play in other cities because it is impossible to get decent seats at their Bay Street home. We decorate our homes with a Maple theme and select our cars and clothes in that delicious royal blue that sets us apart. (I convinced LeBrain that we wanted a blue car that I have since named Dougie Carmour.)
“Go LEAFS Go” are the first words we teach our children, and Brian Vollmer has them wonderfully placed throughout the song’s chorus. He makes a quick reference to the hundred year old rivalry with the Montreal Canadiens in a cute way – advising that a Habs jersey would be an unpleasant gift during the Christmas season. He also references 1967: the last year that the Stanley Cup was in the place it belongs. (I have kissed the Stanley Cup on 1967 during a trip to the Hockey Hall of Fame in 1994, hoping it would bring the glory back to Toronto – we made it to game 7 of the western conference finals that year.)
The song is available in two places. It can be found on the new Helix Best Of CD covering hits from 1983 – 2012. Available for the serious collector is a vinyl single, autographed by Brian Vollmer in green vinyl. It has a heavy mental “Jingle Bells” on the other side. In future releases, the vinyl will be released in different colours. I am patiently awaiting the Maple Leaf blue coloured single to make it into the LeBrain family home. [The vinyl release also comes with a download code in case you can’t play vinyl — nice touch. – LeBrain]
Now we just have to get working on my Thanksgiving gift wish of firing Gary Bettman so we can get this lockout bullshit taken care of.
4/5 stars
Below: Helix sells the single, album and T-shirt as a bundle
Way to leave the closet door open behind you while taking a photo of yourself, LeIdiot!
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