Part 92: Jingles

We’d always done radio ads. They weren’t mindblowing, but a lot of people responded to them. You’d get people calling every single week saying, “I heard your ad on the radio. You buy used CDs?” Radio ads were also expensive, so obviously you wanted to hit a home run every time.

What I didn’t know is that we had a radio jingle. I didn’t know until I started getting prank called by kids. I’d pick up the phone, hear a couple kids giggling, and then recite this jingle to me. Then they’d laugh some more and hang up. I was perplexed. I had no idea what they were singing.

I went to one of the people in Operations. “These kids just called me singing this song with our store in the words. What the hell was that?”

“Oh that’s our radio jingle. Haven’t you heard it before?”

Hell no! If I had I’m sure I would have spoken my mind. Later on I heard the actual jingle. It wasn’t…bad…it was just…not good. Today, it still haunts my darkest dreams.

Back in the day, the boss used to always ask our opinions on our ads. “What do you think of this one?” We’d throw in our two cents. As the company grew we weren’t consulted anymore. I’m not sure who was consulted, but it sure wasn’t us! We had no issues being honest, positive or negative, and maybe we just said “that sucks” one too many times in the past. Either way our opinion wasn’t sought. But mine sure was given after the fact. When kids start pranking you making fun of your jingle, that’s probably not a good sign.

The funny thing is, Meat already came up with a much better jingle.

Him and Tom used to eat at this greasy spoon place in (I think) London. Tom used to say, “Man, the food here isn’t good, but it’s cheap.” Meat would respond, “Yeah, just think about the money you save on the food.” And that turned into a jingle.

In his best Michael McDonald voice, Meat would close his eyes tight and croon, “Think about the money you saaaaaave on the food!” It was hilarious.

So, the next logical step was, “Think about the money you saaaaaave on the tunes!” Perfect!

The jingle was never used. But what do I know? It’s not like I’ve ever had my own theme songs played on the radio…

Thanks Marko Fox for the sound clip of the first broadcast of my custom made Marko theme!

GUEST REVIEW: Steel Panther – Balls Out & Feel the Steel

LeBrain will always be straight with you when he doesn’t know something. I have had a few requests for a write up on Steel Panther. The problem is, I’ve never actually listened to Steel Panther. Maybe I should change that.

So I asked the infamous T-Rev, aka Trevor from the Record Store Tales to see if he could do a review. He could, and he did. Enjoy.

STEEL PANTHER: Feel the Steel (2009) & Balls Out (2011)

Steel Panther: Your New Favourite Band, by T-Rev

Michael Starr, Satchel, Lexxi Foxx, and Stix Zadinia are Steel Panther. The X-rated, Spinal Tap-esque modern day Hair band. Intent on bringing back Heavy Metal , with a sound that will impress any fan of the “hair” genre. Formed with ex-members of various metal bands in the 1990’s ( Rob Halford’s Fight, Paul Gilbert’s Racer X, and L.A. Guns!) originally as Metal Skool (yes…Metal’s Cool) in the early 2000’s, and a brief stint as Danger Kitty (getting some recognition on MTV and the Drew Carey Show). Feel the Steel, the first album as Steel Panther, stands out because of its period-correct guitar assaults, its bandana wearing 4-armed drummer and the spandex covered, lipstick sporting, teased hair bass player, (reminding me of Warrant circa Cherry Pie mixed with some early Motley Crue attitude!) and of course, its lyrics!

Feel the Steel has it all, killer riffs (often mimicking classic tunes of the past like “Fuck All Night, Party All Day’s” intentional resemblance to Bon Jovi’s “Livin’ On A Prayer”) Hilariously refreshing lyrics (like the first time you ever heard “Fuck Her Gently” by the D) throw in some top notch guest star clout (Justin Hawkins duets with Michael Starr) and top it off with manufactured “rock star” personas (a la Spinal Tap), and you’ve got all the best parts of what a hair metal band should be…SEX & DRUGS & ROCK ‘N’ ROLL! Crazy stories of sex with asian hookers, sex with fat girls, sex with neighbours, and copious amounts of “blow”, all done in a way you’d never expect…even though it feels strangely familiar. Sounding like it came from 1989, but containing enough modern relevance to remind you it’s current. After about the first verse, I knew I was a fan for good. “Eminem can suck it, so can Dr. Dre, or they can suck each other…just because they’re gay” screams Starr on “Death To All But Metal”. “Two in the pink, one in the stink”describes the “Shocker” to newcomers. And “You’re the only girl that I like to screw…when I’m not on the road,” Michael reassures his girl on “Community Property”.

Balls Out, their sophomore effort, continues where F.T.S. left off. A lot of the same sexual scenarios, but the music seems to have picked up another gear, with more focus on riffage (bigger, faster, louder). The lyrics, however, are lacking the furious onslaught they had on F.T.S. Perhaps because the initial shock is over, now I expect it! There is more celebrity name-dropping than before…mentioning that Charlie Sheen “is winning in the bedroom upstairs”, and that Tiger Woods thinks “3 holes are better than a hole in one”. A good album upon first listen…just didn’t have the impact that Feel the Steel did on me. Having said that, this album grows on you…big time! Like any good album…it takes a while for their sauce to mix with yours!

I should also discuss Starr’s instrument…this guys voice is classic, vintage, powerful, cheesy, awesome, hilarious, and adaptive! Vocal range that would bring a tear to Dio’s eye, heartfelt (x-rated), ballads on par with anything Bon Jovi or Poison ever did, rockers that could have appeared on stage with the great Bon Scott! I don’t mean to come across as though I consider this band “flawless”, but, these guys are PRO’s! Certainly impressive musically…sometimes though, they sway over the cheese line a bit, and even take the lyrics too far, but all in all, I do love these albums. Afterall, isn’t it the cheese that we now love about 80’s metal?

You really get the feeling that these guys are true fans of metal, not just cashing in on the novelty of wearing spandex and makeup. Much like the ribbing the Darkness took during their invasion, some people misunderstood the flattery for ridicule. True fans see past the hair and hear the talent in the music…every time I listen to them, they get better! Like a drug that you can’t get enough of…you want to hear it again and again. In a world where Justin Beiber and Nickelback win music awards, this is a welcome addiction. A perfect mix of metal and comedy! Destined to become a staple at everyone’s annual “sausagefest”

Feel the Steel 5/5

Balls Out 4/5

Part 91: Pull the Trigger

There were some discs that we were never short of. We always had them. Cheap. Add your staff discount to that, and you could get a lot of stuff dirt cheap. But the discs themselves were so common, they were always in stock. Therefore they never were a priority for me at the time. Soundtracks and compilations were a great example of this. Last Action Hero, Super Mario Bros, these could be had for super cheap, any time, and they all contained exclusive music by cool bands like Megadeth, Anthrax, Extreme, and so on.

One disc that I never picked up before was the soundtrack to a bad horror movie called Shocker, by Wes Craven. The soundtrack had numerous stars on it – members of Kiss, Motley Crue, Alice Cooper, Whitesnake, Van Halen, and more. The title song was a Paul Stanley rocker performed by Paul and Desmond Child in an all-star band called The Dudes of Wrath, and it wasn’t a bad song. There was also another Paul tune on here called “Sword and Stone”, recorded by a band called Bonfire.

(Now, here’s the interesting thing about “Shocker”, the song. Desmond Child wrote the guitar lick, a very Platinum Blonde-esque part that is almost identical to the one in a Kiss song released at the same time, called “King of Hearts”. And who wrote that? Paul and Desmond Child. It’s the same freakin’ thing.)

Anyway, long story short: I never pulled the trigger while I was at the store. I’m still today in the process of replacing my cassettes on CD, and this is one. The CD was just too common, it was always in stock and I always had better things to spend my money on. I could have got it for $4 at any point over the years. I should have.

Look at this one, that I paid $12 for from Amazon Marketplaces. The spine is cut as a promo. The front is scuffed. The CD has some scratches on it. This is all stuff that wouldn’t have happened in my store. Even if it was a cut promo, every case was replaced if not already like new. Not to mention I had complete control to be picky about quality before I bought. Not to mention that in the past, I had numerous chances to get Shocker uncut. Now, unfortunately, the disc is less common.

I wished I’d pulled the trigger back then!

REVIEW: KISS – Alive III (1993)

Part 31 of my series of Kiss reviews, leading up to the release of Monster!

KISS – Alive III (1993)

I like Alive III, but I don’t think any fan can say it’s as good or better than I or II. How could it be? Artificial or not, Kiss Alive! is one of the greatest live albums of all time. Alive II was a contender. Alive III simply could not live up to either.

If it didn’t sell well, I don’t particularly blame Kiss. It was the summer of “live albums”. Van Halen, Ozzy Osbourne, and Iron Maiden all had double live discs out that summer, and that’s a lot of money to be spent by the devoted rock fan.

Although the first two Alives avoided song overlap, Alive III does contain some old Kiss songs that were previously played on one of the first two:

“Deuce”
“Detroit Rock City”
“Rock And Roll All Night”
“Watchin’ You” (given a funkier touch here by Bruce)

Everything else is a more recent vintage, and rightfully so. Kiss hadn’t done a live album in 16 years at this point, so there were lots of new songs to play. “Creatures Of The Night” had been a setlist staple for ten years at this point.

Performance wise, this is really good. With Bruce Kulick and Eric Singer in the band, Kiss had evolved to a sleeker machine. The songs were played much more expertly, and not as loose. A critic would use the word “mechanically” but it’s just different, and a matter of taste. Bruce Kulick at this point was not playing his solos with as much 80’s trickery, and was now much more suited to playing Ace Frehley’s songs. Eric Singer seemed to master a nice middle ground between Peter Criss and Eric Carr’s styles. He is in fact my favourite Kiss drummer because of his creativity on the kit.

All songs are sung by Gene and Paul, although Eric sings very nice backups. There is one instrumental, Bruce Kulick’s guitar showcase on the “Star Spangled Banner”, never recorded by Kiss in studio form!

On the negative side, I don’t like the production, once again by Eddie Kramer who also helmed the first two. It sounds too polished. The audience sounds artificial, pasted on. When Paul raps, the audience just screams through, there’s no reaction.

Interestingly, there are a total of five songs from Revenge (including the Japanese/vinyl bonus track “Take It Off”). That shows how strong the new material was, and why there aren’t more Kiss oldies. It is a shame that today Kiss doesn’t sprinkle that much new material into setlists.

A point of trivia, at one point the inclusion of a brand new studio song called “Carnival Of Souls” was discussed. It was finally released a decade later on Gene’s solo album, Asshole. So this is the time period from which that song originated. Astute fans will recognize it as the title of an eventual studio album.

A Gene song was even selected as the first and only single: “I Love It Loud”. Personally I feel that even Eric Singer can’t play this song like Eric Carr did. And it’s way too overplayed now.

Alive III is not as essential as the first two, but if you pick up the Alive Box, which is the route I stronly suggest you take, you’ll get them all (with the exception of the symphonic Alive). Listening to I, II and III in a row will reveal growth and a strong catalogue of songs not immediately noticeable otherwise.

4/5 stars

With the long-awaited Alive III now behind them, Kiss began work on a number of new projects, including their own tribute album, a studio album to be called Head, and an acoustic “konvention” tour. Check this space again for all that and more.

REVIEW: KISS – Revenge (1992)

Redemption! Part 30 of my series of Kiss reviews, leading up to the release of Monster!

I still love this video.

KISS – Revenge (1992)

The death of Eric Carr at age 41 was a terrible tragedy. A guy who lived a healthy lifestyle, struck down by cancer, at the peak of his talents.

The initial concept of having Eric Carr play on half of Revenge and Eric Singer the other half was shelved. Carr was simply too sick, something he had a hard time accepting, according to Dale Sherman in his excellent Carr-centric book Black Diamond. When Eric Carr passed, bringing Singer into the fold was a natural step. Singer had already worked with Paul Stanley on his 1989 solo tour.

Eric Carr did manage to record background vocals to the preview single, “God Gave Rock ‘N’ Roll To You II”, before passing in November 1991.

Kiss felt like they had something to prove on Revenge. After a series of poppy albums and lacklustre tours, they found their roots again. In addition producer Pop Ezrin challenged Bruce Kulick to better himself and make his soloing more aggressive. As a hard-fought result, Kulick’s guitar had never sounded better. It is mean, aggressive, like blood splattering on the railroad tracks. Wah-wah pedals and effects came to the forefront and it completely suited the music that Kiss had written.

“Unholy”, the first song and first single, was also the first Gene Simmons lead vocal in a Kiss single since “I Love It Loud”. It sounds like the demonic half-brother to “War Machine” from Creatures Of The Night. Indeed, if Revenge would be compared to any previous Kiss album it should probably be Creatures.

“I Just Wanna” was the second single, a Paul song. Sadly it is quite a transparent rewrite of “Summertime Blues”. It also has a silly chorus: “I just wanna fuh-, I just wanna fuh-, I just wanna forget you.” Despite this it’s also one of the catchiest tunes on the album, and quite irrestible despite its flaws.

Third single, “Domino”, was another Gene track, this one the most vintage-KISS of them all. It is a basic stripped down groovy rock track with Gene singing about a girl named Domino who “got me by the balls”. The video was quite unique in that it featured Kiss playing as a trio, Paul on bass, while Gene was out cruising in his car. Bruce’s soloing here is really good.

Fourth and final single from the album was “Every Time I Look At You” featuring Bob Ezrin on piano. It’s another power ballad, along the lines of “Forever” or the later “I Finally Found My Way”. Sadly in the era of grunge it was quickly forgotten, but aside from a very nice version with strings from MTV Unplugged it is largely forgettable anyway. Inferior to “Forever” despite the superior production values.

The rest of the tracks include “Take It Off”, Paul’s tribute to strippers everywhere, and very similar in style and tone to “I Just Wanna”. Paul’s “Tough Love” channels S&M, a bit and is a very cool heavier rock track with some great Bruce solos. “Spit” is quite possibly the album’s best song, and the most fun. Paul even quotes Spinal Tap: “The bigger the cushion, the better the pushin'”. Its vocals are split between Gene and Paul, a rarity in later Kiss. Bruce’s solo here is awesome. His technique is stunning, the solo is both amusing and jaw-dropping.

“Side 1” of the album ended with a remix of “God Gave Rock And Roll To You II”, previously released on the Bill & Ted’s Bogus Journey soundtrack. Not really an outstanding song, it’s a semi-cover of an old Argent song and again features Gene and Paul splitting the lead vocals.

“Side 2” kicks off with the Vinnie Vincent-penned “Heart of Chrome”, one of Paul’s coolest titles and another outstanding track, somewhat similar to “Tough Love”. Gene’s “Thou Shalt Not” covers similar lyrical territory as “Cadillac Dreams” from the last album, but is a much better song. It is very catchy and has some cool licks on guitar. “Paralyzed” is another Gene track, only this time the verses are cooler than the chorus. There’s also a nifty spoken word bit in the middle as only Gene can do, kind of funky.

The album ends with “Carr Jam 1981”, an Eric song which had circulated in collector’s circles for a long time, except with Ace Frehley on lead guitar. It was recorded by Ezrin during The Elder sessions which yielded a ton of unused song ideas. Ace Frehley decided to use it himself in 1987 as “Breakout”, on the Frehley’s Comet album. This version however replaces Ace’s guitar with Bruce Kulick’s. Eric Carr plays the only drum solo he ever recorded in the studio. It is a very fitting tribute to the man who helped Kiss get through some very tough times, and didn’t live long enough to play drums on this fantastic album.

Some fans heard the heavier sound on this CD and accused Kiss of selling out to grunge. Not so; the album was released in early 1992 and was written before grunge took hold. Music was naturally moving in a heavier direction at the time, and Kiss were part of that. Kiss’ recent evolution had shown that Revenge was the only possible next step.

Well, other than a reunion. And Revenge would prove to be the last studio album released (though not recorded!) before the long-awaited return of the original Kiss.

4.5/5 stars

Part 90: The Speaker

In any business you have to get yourself noticed. You have to make yourself known to the people. You see some places like restaurants and music stores with small speakers outside, playing music, letting people know, “Hey, we’re open!”

We attempted the same thing, but less successfully…I hated that damned speaker.

Somewhere we dug up the biggest oldest speaker from the 1970’s. It was ancient, massive, and weighed a ton. It also sounded like garbage, but was hooked up to a 5 disc changer playing the top 40. That part was OK, because it was always better for me to have top 40 playing outside, not inside!

We all hated the speaker. It was heavy as hell so some people had trouble putting it in and out each day. But that was only one issue. We also had the other problems:

“That speaker is too damn loud! Turn it down or turn it off!” We’d get this complaint from other tenants in the plaza.
We had also our fine neighbors, restaraunts and pawn shops and so on, complain about the lack of variety. Could we please hear something other than Big Shiny Tunes this week? Stuff like that.
Just like our sidewalk sign, it took up half the sidewalk, meaning people would occasionally walk headlong right into it.
“Hey, what’s that song you were just playing outside?” Not a bad reaction, getting people to buy a CD that we were playing. Problem: I couldn’t hear the outside music. So I’d have to take a look at what discs were in the player and take a guess. And when it’s all top 40 crap that sounds the same, well, that could take a while!

I hated polluting the quiet mornings with Much Dance, I just wished one day somebody would have stolen that damned speaker. Hah, fat chance. Not only was it huge but who the hell would have wanted it?

That’s our speaker right there dammit!

MOVIE REVIEW: KISS Meets the Phantom of the Park (aka: KISS in Attack of the Phantoms)

You know what I forgot to review? KISS Meets the Phantom! So, belatedly: Part 29 of my series of Kiss reviews, leading up to the release of Monster!

“I will destroy you! All of you! You, Kiss, will be my instrument!”

KISS Meets the Phantom of the Park (NBC, 1978)

Context: In 1978 Kiss were arguably the biggest band in the world. Like the Beatles before them, they sought to conquer movies as they prepared to do their solo albums. They did it…much less successfully than the Beatles.

I’ll try not to shoot ducks in a barrel here. This made for TV movie is now available in its superior international version on the KISStory II DVD set. It’s marginally better than the version we’ve had to endure here. It had more Kiss music (17 songs) and a different cut to the film.

However if you want campiness at its 1970’s worst, watch the regular version. Bad acting, no budget, bad dubbing (even Peter Criss was dubbed, by Michael Bell!), hell the special effects from the 1967 season of Star Trek are vastly, incalculably superior. The familiar North American version excises much of Kiss’ original music and replaces it with disco funk! Chicka-chicka-chicka guitars and hilarious horns. Oh, and on top of it, Ace has hardly any lines beyond “Ack”!

Phantom stars classic Bond villain Anthony Zerbe as the insane Abner Devereaux, the mastermind behind the amusement park’s “amazing” robots! (Incidentally that’s two actors who later appeared in Star Trek: Bell and Zerbe.) And of course Gene, Paul, Ace and Peter headline as well, even though they don’t even appear in the movie for what seems like an hour.

Plot? Fuck it. Who cares. Madman in theme park is insanely jealous of Kiss. Kiss have super powers. Madman sends robots after them. The end.

The movie is notable on the positive side for some exclusive music: An acoustic version of “Beth”, and something called “Rip and Destroy” which was “Hotter Than Hell” with new (evil) lyrics. I don’t know who plays the guitar on “Beth”, but it’s not someone from Kiss. Paul mimes it in the video. “Rip And Destroy” basically consists of one verse and one chorus repeated ad nauseum. Having said that, fans have been begging for years for an official release of these songs. Maybe on a future box set? That would be cool.

For the film, 1/5 stars.

REVIEW: KISS – “God Gave Rock ‘N’ Roll To You II” single (1991)

Part 28 of my series of Kiss reviews, leading up to the release of Monster!

KISS – “God Gave Rock ‘N’ Roll To You II” (1991 CD single)

As part of their “Hey, let’s try anything!” modus operadi, Kiss decided to record a single with old producer Bob Ezrin. It was all a part of their greater scheme to drop the pop and get back to their rock roots. Working with Ezrin, who produced both their greatest commerial success (Destroyer) and failure (The Elder), was a tentative step to see what the chemistry would be like this time. The single was the perfect chance to test drive the partnership.

Released in conjunction with the movie Bill and Ted’s Bogus Journey, this new Kiss single was also a first in that Kiss were contributing a brand new song to a movie soundtrack. This version is actually a different mix than that later on Revenge, so this single still is an exclusive of sorts.

“God Gave Rock ‘N’ Roll To You II” (my God what a cumbersome title) is a reworking of an old Argent tune, hence the II. At the time I didn’t think much of it, and I still don’t. It’s not a personal favourite of mine. It’s a little slow, although very anthemic and perfect for the live setting. It does feature Gene and Paul singing lead together, a rare thing indeed and a first since…when? A long time anyway. It also has some sweet harmony vocals from Eric Carr…his last recording with Kiss before succumbing to cancer way too young at age 41. While he underwent treatment, Eric Singer played drums on the song. This was all kept secret in 1991 before Carr died; in hindsight you can tell it’s Singer on drums. Carr even gave it his all, playing drums in the music video.

The other two tracks were also exclusive to the movie soundtrack: “Junior’s Gone Wild” by King’s X, and “Shout it Out” by Slaughter. Both bands were experiencing increased success and fans were eager for new music. “Junior’s Gone Wild” sounds like something not too far removed from King’s X in-the-making fourth album. “Shout it Out” is a typical Slaughter party rocker, as good as anything on their debut. A bit shrill and and sweet by today’s standards though.

2.5/5 stars

Part 89: Pranks 3.0 – The Case of the Disappearing Mars Bar

RECORD STORE TALES PART 89: Prank 3.0 – The Case of the Disappearing Mars Bar

Rewind to 1994.

It was just one store, and just the three of us: Trevor, myself, and the owner. We had an awesome comraderie back then, and it was based both on mutual respect and humour. At the time I doubt there would have been a better more knowledgeable staff at any store in town than us three.

But we joked around a lot. It wasn’t beyond us to “tag” another one with a magnetic security tag somewhere on their clothing, setting off alarms everywhere. It was all in good fun.

I showed up for work one night with a small bag, just a soda and a Mars bar inside. I always came in early to check out what was newly arrived. As I unpacked, my boss looked at my sorry excuse for a dinner and admonished me. Always health conscious, he asked me about the Mars bar and if I knew how much sugar that was and so on. “How can you eat this crap?” he finished. I chuckled; I was 22 and hadn’t given it any thought. He was mostly just ribbing me anyway.

Meanwhile, the boss was going through the cash register to decide what we needed in terms of small change. Then, he sent me to the bank to do the change run, before he packed it in for the day. When I returned with the change, he left me with instructions for the evening and departed. I went about my business picking out discs to listen to that night. (Based on the period I calculate with 97.8% certainty that one of those titles would have been Superunknown by Soundgarden, Balls to Picasso by Bruce Dickinson, or Jar of Flies by Alice in Chains.)

It was a slow night, and a couple hours later I had the munchies. My Mars bar…it was gone!

I looked everywhere for it. It could have fallen behind the counter. Or maye I left it on top of a pile of discs? No luck. It didn’t turn up. I know I brought it because I talked about it with…with my boss!

I had fallen victim to the classic “Steal the Snacks” game. It wouldn’t be the last, and it’s a game I took to playing myself. I love the way he blindsided me with the health talk on the Mars bar. I didn’t even see it coming!

REVIEW: KISS – Hot In The Shade (1989)

Part 27 of my series of Kiss reviews, leading up to the release of Monster!

KISS – Hot In the Shade (1989)

When we last met, I was bitching about Kiss going pop and losing sight of its roots. Hot In the Shade represents the first tentative steps back in the right direction. It wasn’t a home run, but it did at least get a runner on base.

By this time, two important events had occurred:

Paul Stanley confronted Gene Simmons about his lack of participation in Kiss. Gene agreed with Paul’s diagnosis and was back on board creatively.
Paul Stanley had completed a small solo club tour with Eric Singer, playing a lot of Kiss’ old music.

Kiss knew they had to get back to rock and roll, so Hot In the Shade represents a scattershot approach: try anything, and see what works. You’ll hear things as diverse as horn sections (“Cadillac Dreams”), female backing vocals (“Silver Spoon”), acoustic slide guitar (“Rise To It”) and speed metal (“Boomerang”). All things rooted in rock, but not necessarily from the roots of Kiss.

It was with baited breath that I awaited the debut of the forthcoming new Kiss video on MuchMusic. Would they finally get back to rock, and drop the keyboards and the dancing?

“Hide Your Heart”, the first single, had a more serious video with a storyline, and Paul was playing a vintage guitar again! He wasn’t posing with it, he was playing it! The song was more rock, no keyboards in sight, and had that irresitable “Ahh ahh ahh, hey hey hey, do do do” chorus. It was a step in the right direction. I couldn’t wait for the album. (Ace Frehley also released his own version of “Hide Your Heart” on his solo album Trouble Walkin’, almost simultaneously.)

I remember buying the cassette tape on a school field trip in grade 12, and listening to it on a Walkman in the bus. The first sounds I heard were Paul Stanley’s* bluesy slide licks as the intro to “Rise To It”. A positive start.

Then, the band kicked in, and “Rise To It” really impressed me. The drums courtesy of Eric Carr were loud and clear, the song a little heavier than previous Kiss tunes, and Bruce was wailing. I opened up the J-card and read the liner notes.

I was surprised to see that Vini Poncia, the producer who did the Kiss disco albums, was back as a songwriting partner with Gene and Paul. I also saw that Tommy Thayer of Black N Blue co-wrote two songs with Gene (“Betrayed” and “The Street Giveth”). This was only Tommy’s first writing credit with Kiss. There would be many more.

I also saw a song written by Paul and Michael Bolton called “Forever”…uh oh, that couldn’t be a good thing.

But it wasn’t bad. “Forever” was an acoustic ballad at least, with only minor texture keyboards in the background. Bruce nailed an absolutely perfect acoustic guitar solo, the kind you can hum the melody to. I still relish Eric Carr’s drumming on it, which is unusually hard hitting for a ballad.

Moving along, I finally I got to the song that Eric co-wrote, called “Little Caesar” which struck me as an odd title. It took a few seconds, but I realized that Eric was singing it too! Finally, a proper original Eric Carr lead vocal. I always felt that Kiss needed to incorporate Eric Carr more in lead vocals, and his version of “Beth” from the previous album was a crappy way to give him his first .

“Boomerang” was and probably still is the fastest song that Kiss has ever done. It’s obvious Kiss were trying to emulate speed metal, which was starting to happen at the time. It wasn’t a great song, but I was impressed that Kiss really were shedding the pop that we all hated so much.

In hindsight, Hot In the Shade breaks down to three good-to-great songs: the singles “Hide Your Heart”, “Forever”, and “Rise To It”. “Little Caesar” is also pretty good, but not up to the standards of the singles. Other songs such as “King of Hearts” have interesting parts or catchy bits, but by and large are filler. Others, like “You Love Me to Hate You” and “The Street Giveth, the Street Taketh Away” are undeniably filler.

Hot In the Shade was bulked out at 15 songs, but probably could have been fine with just 9, like a classic Kiss LP from the 70’s. As it stands, it’s pretty hard to make it through the whole thing in one sitting.Kiss get an “A” for effort most certainly. The ship had been drifting for a little while and this album was turning the ship back around. They gave extra value with the length of the album, like it or lump it, and tried many different directions, which were at least rock-based.

Kiss also self-produced this time, and ended up using polished demos for much of the album. As such it seems to have a flat sound, and Bruce Kulick’s guitar sound lacks warmth. It would have been nice if they spent more time on the sound.

Sadly, Eric Carr would not live long enough to see the good ship Kiss right itself on Revenge. He passed away from cancer in November 1991.