john williams

#1227: Steele Away the Night

RECORD STORE TALES #1227: Steele Away the Night

The roots of anxiety run deep.  Some things from childhood, I can remember vividly.  I have strong memories of some of the unhappy moments, frozen in time.  When I say “unhappy”, it’s important to stress that these stories might not seem like a big deal to you, but they obviously impacted me in ways that still have repercussions today.

I can pinpoint the year to 1980.  It might have been March break.  Lego was a favourite hobby.  Lego Technic, or what we called “Technical Lego”, was hot and new.  I had a couple sets, including the 1978 go-cart (set 854), a 1979 bulldozer (set 856) and a really cool motor (1979 – set 8858) that were challenging and interesting to a kid (and now adults too).  The holy grail was the 853 car chassis, which came with a similar motor, rack-and-pinion steering, adjustable seats, and the biggest tires that Lego made.  It was completely customizable and a challenge to assemble with little kid hands.  I never had one.  I did get to play with one, once.  This is that story.  But it’s not going to go how you think.

My mom begins the tale.  When you’re a kid, sometimes your “friends” are just your parents’ friends’ kids.  My mom tells me that one of these friends of theirs thought it would be a great idea for me to have a sleepover with her kid.  Mark Steele was his name.  I didn’t know him.  I had probably met him at one of those random things that parents did together sometimes, but I didn’t know him at all.  I was invited to do a sleepover, and I think is was for two nights.  My mom tells me that one of the other kids in the parent-circle went over for sleepovers and had a great time.

I have strong memories about the rest.

Adults always thought I was “shy”.  I guess that is true, but the truth is even back then, I had severe anxiety.  I did not feel comfortable around people I did not know.  I felt very comfortable around close family and friends, but very few people outside that circle.  My dad had this one childhood friend who moved out west and became a scientist.  I took a real shine to him.  Very few others were that fortunate with me.  I did not know these people and I was being sent away for two nights.  Rather than be a fun time that I was looking forward to, it was something that I had to make it through, so that I could go back to my own home and bed.

I was treated with nothing but hospitality, but I simply was never the sleepover type.  I had it pretty good at home.  I had all the Star Wars toys that a kid could want.  I had a sister that I adored, to play with every day.  I had parents that made food that I liked and let us watch whatever we wanted on TV.  I had my best friend Bob, only ever two doors down.  Why would I want to go anywhere else?

Mark was a very friendly and welcoming kid.  His bedroom had a giant poster of a hockey player on the closet door – it was cut in half in such a way that you could opens the doors.  It might have been Wayne Gretzky, but that would not have helped me at all.  I knew nothing about hockey, and had no interest in it.  I liked Star Wars.  Even though every effort was made to make me feel at home, I felt so homesick.

For lunch, Kraft dinner was served.  I have always been a picky eater, and very much so a Kraft dinner purist.  I loved Kraft Dinner.   Nobody made better Kraft Dinner than my mom.  I do today it the way she did it back then.  Lots of milks, extra runny sauce.  No hot sauce, no pepper, just the KD out of the box with nothing added.  Well, wouldn’t you know it.  I was being served Kraft Dinner…with hot dogs mixed in.  I don’t know what I said, but I know I was vocal in my dislike of the concept of Kraft Dinner with hot dogs.  I tried to eat it, and it was probably more psychological than not, but I did not like it.  I still don’t.

For entertainment, we all went out to see the film The Black Stallion.  I remember them trying to pump me up over this movie.  “You’re going to love it!”  I have never cared about horses, and I need not tell you, I did not enjoy The Black Stallion.  My mom loves the film, but I distinctly remember thinking, “This isn’t a kid’s movie, this is a grown-up movie that kids can watch with their parents.”  I liked Star Wars!  I had no idea who Mickey Rooney was, or why he was a big deal.  I didn’t understand the movie.  The horse didn’t seem particularly likeable and I had no idea why the kid in the movie wanted to ride the horse.  Like, who cares?  That was my attitude as a nine year old.

Sleeping was difficult for me in a strange bed in another kid’s room.  As a person with music deep in his soul, and in an age before personal tape players, I liked to hum myself to sleep.  Usually a John Williams soundtrack piece.  I couldn’t do that if I wasn’t alone.  I really had to…not be myself…if I slept over at someone else’s house.

The one thing I do remember, and is definitely a happy memory, is that Mark owned the 853 car chassis.  I got to play with it.  I got to handle it and experience it for myself.  I remember thinking that, visually, it wasn’t very striking.  It was just a red bare-bones chassis. Yes it was everything you stared it in the little Lego catalogue photos, except up close in real life.  At the time, the 853 car chassis was the most desired of all the technical Lego sets.  It had the motor with four pistons that moved as you pushed it over the carpet.  It had loads of big technical pieces, a ton of gears, and was massive in hand.

As hard as they tried, the only thing I really remember enjoying that weekend was the Lego.  The lesson here is that Lego is just plain good for your mental health.

VIDEO: @darcyska – Why I Love Movie Soundtracks

Once more I had the pleasure of doing a show with D’Arcy Briggs from the YouTube channel @darcyska.  A few days ago, D’Arcy asked me if I’d be up to record on a topic of my choosing.   My first thought was “movie soundtracks”.

D’Arcy prepared a series of questions for me and off we went!  Topics include:

  • First loves in soundtracks and childhood memories.
  • Top Five Soundtrack list.
  • An underrated soundtrack (for Jex Russell).
  • What makes a good score?
  • Listening to curated song soundtracks.
  • Fictional movie band soundtracks.
  • A recent TV series’ soundtracks.
  • Has streaming changed how we listen to soundtracks?
  • Discovering bands via soundtracks, and gatekeeping by the old  fans.

While we were at it, we took a good look at some physical CDs, soundtracks from my collection and D’Arcy’s too.

Check out the video below!

REVIEW: John Williams – Boston Pops – Pops In Space (1980 cassette)

JOHN WILLIAMS – BOSTON POPS ORCHESTRA – Pops In Space (1980 Phillips)

January, 1980.  John Williams succeeds Arthur Fiedler as the conductor of the Boston Pops Orchestra.  Fiedler passed in July of 1979.  Williams had received 14 Academy Awards nominations, 8 Grammies, and had conducted over 50 movie scores.  Later that year, Phillips released Williams’ first recording with the Pops:  a selection of his science fiction “greatest hits” so to speak.  The audible differences between these and the original cinematic recordings are minor, but there for the diehard fan to enjoy.  If not, the casual fan will be able to hear some of the best bits from Williams’ beloved scores to date.  The Empire Strikes Back was a new release, and three cuts were recorded for this release.

1978’s Superman: The Movie truly made us believe that a man could fly, kids and adults alike.  The Superman main theme is one of Williams’ greatest refrains in his long storied career.  Triumphant, strong, and bright, it glows with the power of our yellow sun.  You can envision Christopher Reeve (the greatest Superman) smiling and waving as he casually swooped across the silver screen.  Williams’ music embodied Superman, and the optimistic spirit that the film represented.  It bears similarities to other familiar themes, such as Indiana Jones, which was in production.  It is a Williams “trademark” theme if you will; instantly identifiable and unmistakable.  It has highs, lows and an incredible outro.  This is followed by Lois Lane’s love theme, which we liked even as impatient kids who hated romance in our superhero movies.  Some of Superman’s theme has a soft reprise here, but the piece is its own.

The brand new Empire Strikes Back is represented by three classic pieces:  the action packed “Asteroid Field”, Yoda’s jaunty theme, and of course, “The Imperial March”, already on its way to becoming a thumbprint anthem for scum and villainy.  There is not much to add here, because words are not sufficient to describe the sheer momentum of “The Asteroid Field”!  Or the joyful playfulness of “Yoda’s Theme”.  Or the symphonic metal majesty of “The Imperial March”, as we watch those monolithic, grey Star Destroyers cruising menacingly through space.

More Star Wars on side two, with the film Star Wars (not yet known as A New Hope – that happened in April 1981).  The two themes included are the main title theme, and Leia’s theme.  I noticed the most difference on the main title – the third note of the opening “bah bah bah…” part is held just a little longer.  As for Leia’s theme, it is softer of course, but the violin strain is so memorable.  So plaintive, yet beautiful.  It grows in power towards the lush end, which is magnificent.  Perfect for our princess in distress, though her reputation for kicking butt was starting to form!

The final piece included is a “Close Encounters of the Third Kind” suite, including the extended ending, added to the special edition.  This 10 minute suite is a rollercoaster, as we recall scenes of awe and wonder.  A bit of “When You Wish Upon A Star” plays, some piano tinkles, and we are swept away with Roy Neary on that starship, whether we wanted to see the inside or not.

As a “greatest hits” of Williams early science fiction music, Pops In Space is a treat to play.  A concise treat, representing a small slice of Williams’ work, yet that little slice has some of his most indelible music.

If anything, fans of physical media need to get this album on any format, just for the cool cover art.  The orchestra can be seen playing on a floating platform…in the vacuum of space!  Far out.

5/5 stars

#1151: An Egg of a Deal: End of August Scores

RECORD STORE TALES #1151: An Egg of a Day: End of August Scores

I have a coworker whose parents recently passed.  This is always sad, but the time came for my coworker to purge her mom’s music collection.  Periodically when this happens, people come to me to ask my opinion.  Essentially, she wanted to know:  “is there anything here that I shouldn’t take to the local Beat Goes On because it might be worth more?”  She didn’t think much of her chances, but wanted to be sure.

“Sure, I’ll pop over and have a look,” I said.  “I can’t promise you anything but I can at least have a look.”

That was good enough for her.

“I bet I find a bunch of Lawrence Welk!” I joked to Tim Durling and Jex Russell.  You know the kind of record collection I mean.

Indeed, I did find Lawrence Welk in the very first box of vinyl.  I had a laugh and kept digging.  To everyone’s surprise, I found things that might indeed have been valuable, and they had no idea how it got into that collection.

First of all, she had a really nice stack of 78s.  Big Crosby was the first one I saw.  I have no idea on value of 78s, but this were stored well and all seemed in good condition.  It might have been my first time handling a stack of 78’s like that.  They are thicker than an LP, and much heavier.  They require a special stylus as well as a turntable that can go up to 78.  I used to have that equipment.  She even had a cylinder, whether Edison or a competing brand, that was out for professional appraisal.  So, this collection I was looking at had these formats:

  • LPs
  • 45s
  • 78s
  • Cassettes
  • 8-tracks
  • CDs
  • and one cylinder

Pretty wild scope.  The genres were all over the place, from easy listening and country (the usual suspects) to disco, jazz, oldies, and even progressive rock and heavy metal, as you’ll see.  This, I did not expect.

Then I spied an album called Egg.  Something about it jumped out at me.  I flipped it around and there were black and white photos of long haired guys jamming.  That struck me as out of place in this collection, so I set it aside.  Somebody looked it up, and it can sell for easily over $100.  Everyone seemed really impressed by my ability to sniff this out.  I am no expert, folks.  Not at all.  But it looked out of place, which is why I took a second glance.  It turns out Egg were an English progressive rock band, and the album was released in 1970.  Very surprising, but they felt that this one find justified me coming over and looking at their records, so I was happy.

Original price:  $6.99

I found some things I wanted for myself and made an offer.  I left with the following titles:

  • Guns N’ Roses – “You Could Be Mine” 1991 Geffen cassette single.  I own it on CD, but never on cassette.  Why not?  In this day and age of owning everything on every format, why not?
  • The Best Of ZZ Top 1977 Wea Music cassette.  A staple, but one that I somehow have never owned before on any format.  Stone cold classic compilation.
  • John Williams and the Boston Pops – Pops In Space 1980, Philips, made in Holland.  This contains music from some of Williams science fiction classics:  Superman, The Empire Strikes Back (which was brand new in 1980), Star Wars, and Close Encounters.  I haven’t seen this one before.
  • Oscar Peterson – The Trio – Live from Chicago 1961 Verve/1986 Polygram CD.  My second Oscar Peterson score this summer.  You rarely find Oscar in the wild, and never this one.
  • Johnny Cash – His Greatest Hits, Volume II 1971 Columbia 8-track.   This was the Cash album I grew up with in the car with my dad, albeit on cassette.  This cartridge is in great shape, and resides in a bright red shell.  This is my first red shell 8-track tape.

When I called my dad to tell him of my musical scores, he was surprised at the 8-track.  While he clearly remembers that Cash album, he asked me “Do you have anything that plays an 8-track?”  This is a common question that we collectors get.  No I do not.  I don’t have a way to play a Minidisc, a DAT, or a DCC either but I would love to have some in my collection.  My collecting desires are no longer strictly just to have music to play.  Now I collect music I can’t even play too!  Just to have a piece of history.

After we completely examined the collection and left some advice, I departed with my treasures.  Since we were in the neighbourhood, I decided to visit the old Toys R Us/HMV store.  There, I finally decided to pick up Iron Maiden’s Powerslave on vinyl, edging me closer to completing the 1980s collection.  Now, all I should need are the first two Di’Anno albums (I think).  Powerslave was $36 and hard to pull the trigger on, since I can distinctly remember a time when Sam the Record Man was swinning in new copies for $6.99 each, and that sticks with you.  I finally have it now.

A successful Saturday.  Time to listen to some music!

Star Wars Episode I: The Phantom Menace soundtrack on Visions In Sound with Rob Daniels at TheMuseum

On May 1, Rob Daniels from CKWR and Visions In Sound recorded a show live to tape at TheMuseum in Kitchener.  Here are some photos and videos of Rob, with Erik Woods and myself.

The show, which will air in a few weeks as part of Star Wars month, covers the amazing soundtrack by John Williams and stories of the movie’s creation.  Rob will take you from the bleak early 1990s, to the Special Editions, and finally to May 1999 when The Phantom Menace was finally released. He discusses the fallout, in particular with actors Jake Lloyd and Ahmed Best, who bore the brunt of fan hate.  On a lighter note, he also tells you the story of how Erik Woods broke the internet when he broadcast the world premier of the soundtrack!

Stay tuned in May to Visionsinsound.ca for this and much more great Star Wars content!

While we enjoyed the music, Erik and I spent roughly two hours discussing Star Wars and Indiana Jones.  Like typical fans, we talked about what we would have done to make both series better!  And we had some great ideas, trust me.  We talked about our own ideas for the prequels, the sequels, and an Indiana Jones adventure that, like poetry, would rhyme.

TheMuseum is a wonderful location for such an event, though they need to do more advertising.  Their website didn’t even show that they were open that night.  The lounge area where Rob was recording had ample space and a bar.

I hope to see Rob do more tapings at the TheMuseum in the future.  Long live Visions In Sound!

#1093: What Are the Earliest Pieces of Music You Remember Loving?

RECORD STORE TALES #1093: What Are the Earliest Pieces of Music You Remember Loving?

We are all shaped by our earliest experiences, whether we admit it or not.  What were the first songs and pieces of music that you remember loving?  Let’s have a look at 10 of mine, from my pre-heavy metal years!


10. The Doctor Who theme.

I grew up with the third and fourth doctors:  Jon Pertwee, and Tom Baker.  In particular I remember the Baker years as the most important to my childhood.  I asked my mom to knit me a long brown scarf like Baker’s Doctor wore.  I also remember sitting in front of the TV and recording the intro music to Doctor Who, so I could rewind and play that tape whenever I wanted to.  The music was all synth, and entirely spooky, cool and catchy.

9. John Williams’ scores.

Star Wars was first.  Empire was second.  Raiders was third.  Those three soundtracks made up the majority of my musical listening for years.  I didn’t own any other records.  Just John Williams.  When you consider the impact that Holst’s The Planets had on Williams, and heavy metal too, it is no wonder that heavy metal music would later speak so clearly to me.

8. Joey Scarbury – “Theme from The Greatest American Hero (Believe It or Not)”

My earliest musical loves all came from TV or cinema.  This was the first non-Williams record I owned, on a 7″ single.  Mike Post co-wrote the song, and he would figure into the career of Van Halen much much later.  “Believe It Or Not” was a pleasant pop song with an irresistible chorus.  The B-side was a ballad called “Little Bit of Us”.  I hated it.  I remember playing the single at 78 RPM to see if it would make the song any better.  It didn’t.

7. Magnum P.I. and The A-Team theme songs.

Here’s Mike Post again, with the theme music to Magnum P.I. starring Tom Selleck.  Funky electric guitar hovered behind a bouncing string section playing the theme.  It was like my John Williams soundtracks had collided with rock instrumentation.  I would sit in bed and hum these themes, singing myself to sleep.  And guess who was behind the A-Team’s music?  Also Mike Post!  Military drums and more symphonic theme greatness.  I was well on my way, wasn’t I?  These two themes were critically important to the whole action TV show genre.

6. Michael Jackson – “Beat It” and “Thriller”

Like every kid in the mid-80s, I loved Michael Jackson.  It would not be an exaggeration to claim that every kid in my grade liked Michael Jackson to a certain degree.  He had a number of hits on the radio, including “Say Say Say” with Paul McCartney, which I was frustrated to find was not on my Thriller cassette.  Of course, I had no idea who Eddie Van Halen was yet, but he was in my head, playing the “Beat It” guitar solo without my knowledge.  Michael’s songs were perfectly written and produced.  His videos were groundbreaking, but I hadn’t seem them yet.  I wasn’t even sure what he looked like at first.  Tabloid photos always showed a gaunt Jackson hiding from the cameras.  Once we saw his videos, I was shocked at how effeminate his speaking voice was, for a guy who sang so powerfully.  Yet, I only played two or three songs on the tape.

5. Culture Club – “Karma Chameleon”

Hot on the heels of Jackson was Boy George.  “Karma Chameleon” was impossible to forget, and I could care less about any of his other hits.  I had the Colour By Numbers cassette and never played it except for one song.  The album cover shocked me!  I thought Culture Club was synonymous with Boy George – a one-man band.  I had no idea there were other members, or what they looked like.  I liked the tune, but this band was not for me.  Eventually I would erase both Jackson and Boy George, and record other things on their tapes.

4. Styx – Kilroy Was Here

“Mr. Roboto” was the song that hooked me, but the album itself was pretty good:  “Cold War”, “High Time”, “Don’t Let It End (Reprise)”, “Heavy Metal Poisoning” and “Double Life” were awesome rock songs!  As before, I had no interest in the ballads.  I played them once or twice, and just skipped them from then on.  Styx were the first band with multiple singers that I liked:  Dennis DeYoung, Tommy Shaw, and James Young.  I wonder what influence this would later have on my love of KISS.  Styx were bombastic and huge.  The gatefold album came with lyrics, which I studied as if they were containing deep hidden meaning.

3. AC/DC – “Dirty Deeds Done Dirt Cheap”

I recorded this song from my best friend Bob, along with “The Mighty Quinn” by Manfred Mann, and if memory serves, “Ooby Dooby” by Roy Orbison.  I might be wrong on that last one, but AC/DC was the one I kept playing over and over, sometimes to irritate people.  I remember distinctly telling people I liked the chorus because the singer sounded like “he had a frog in his throat”.  My classmate Alan Runstedtler said “I like songs with the guy with the frog in his throat!” and so did I.  It was pure comedy and novelty to me, but the guitars lay the groundwork for what would come later.

2. John Fogerty – “The Old Man Down the Road”

MuchMusic had arrived!  I had no idea who Fogerty was, or that he was in a legendary rock band called Creedence Clearwater Revival.  All I knew was that he had a really, really cool music video on TV, and I couldn’t stop watching it.  The upbeat bluesy song with rattling slide guitar seemed cool to me.  I decided that I liked John Forgerty based on that one song.  I was slowly discovering rock music, and the last song on this list was the last one I loved before going full-metal in 1984.

1. Quiet Riot – “Cum On Feel the Noize”

I didn’t know what they looked like.  I didn’t know anything about their prior history, the two Japanese albums, or Randy Rhoads.  All I knew was I had finally found “my thing”.  My sound.  Bombastic, big, loud, catchy, well-written, and perfect.

Without Quiet Riot, I may never have taken my next tenative steps:  Helix, Iron Maiden, Judas Priest, and W.A.S.P.  All much heavier than Quiet Riot.  Without Styx, I might never got gotten into Quiet Riot.  Without John Williams, I might never had dug into Styx.  Who knows?

I loved Quiet Riot well past their best-before date.  I remember other kids at school making fun of me for calling Quiet Riot my favourite band.  “They’re out!” laughed Ian Johnson.  “Duran Duran are current!”

Fuck Duran Duran.

My journey into metal was natural and organic.  I don’t know if those kids from school even listen to music anymore.  Their loss.

REVIEW: The Max Rebo Band – “Jedi Rocks” (1997 CD single)

THE MAX REBO BAND – “Jedi Rocks” (1997 BMG CD single)

This is, in my humble fan opinion, one of the worst pieces of music ever included in a Star Wars movie, if not the very worst.

The 1997 Star Wars special editions are derided for many reason, but one that is not talked about nearly enough is the replacement of certain pieces of music.  In this case, “Lapti Nek” from the 1983 cut of Return of the Jedi was removed.  Why?  Because George Lucas loves to tinker.  He wasn’t happy that the singer in the band, Sy Snootles, didn’t have enough articulation and so thought to himself, “What could I do with a new song and a computer?”  The unfortunate results are called “Jedi Rocks”, by Jerry Hey.

The original song, “Lapti Nek”, plays in Jabba’s palace just before he feeds Oola the slave girl to his pet Rancor monster.  In universe, it is performed by the Max Rebo band, originally a trio featuring keyboardist Max, singer Sy and flautist Droopy McCool.  The band is expanded in the special edition to include more singers, including a really annoying big-mouthed Yuzzum named…uhg…Joh Yowza.  You can just tell that certain parts of the song were designed to show off what computers could make Yowza’s mouth do in the scene in question.

This is shit.  At least “Lapti Nek” sounded a little alien.  “Jedi Rocks” sounds like generic blues rock written by a highschool music teacher for his class to perform at the spring pageant.  And it sounds completely terrestrial, aside from the silly cartoonish vocals.  You can identify an Earthly harmonica, drum kit, organ, saxophones, guitars and bass.  That should never be the case when you’re talking about an alien band from a galaxy far, far away.  More than half the track is bland jamming that could have been on any soundtrack from virtually any Earth-bound movie with a bar and a band in it.

The only reason to buy this single, since you’ll never listen to it, is the clear picture disc.  The CD single released for The Empire Strikes Back was a shaped Vader-head disc, but they realized this were not good for the insides of your CD transport, which prefers a perfectly balanced disc.  Hence, they switched to clear picture discs that look shaped but are not.

Cool disc, bad song.

0.5/5 stars

 

Revenge of the Lists: All 11 Star Wars films discussed in detail!

Did Harrison really cause Erik and Rob to walk off the show?  Did Rob drop two “F-bombs”?  Did Harrison actually smile in the featured image?  Was this one of our best shows ever?

“It’s true.  All of it.”

Our esteemed panel of Jedi masters tonight were:

  • Erik Woods – movie and soundtrack expert
  • Robert Daniels – movie and soundtrack expert
  • Harrison Kopp – young fella who grew up on prequels and Clone Wars
  • LeBrain – old fart

Opinions veered wildly on the 11 Star Wars films we examined in great detail tonight.  While you may never find a more wretched hive of scum and villainy, I also will contend you will not find a more passionate Star Wars discussion than the one we had this week.

Truly one of our best shows, and we barely scratched the surface of these films.  Perhaps a deeper dive is in order for the future.

 

Tonight! May the Rankings Be With Us: All 11 Star Wars films rated by our panel of experts!

The LeBrain Train: 2000 Words or More with Mike Ladano and Friends

Episode 108 – All the Star Wars films, ranked!

 

This is a show that has been in the works a long time.  A long time.  I understand you’re Star Wars fans yourselves!  Then you will love this show we have lined up for you tonight.

The Nigel Tugnel Top Ten list format — a top 11 — is perfect for cases like this.  Tonight our panel of experts (top men!) will rank all 11 films (9 Saga movies plus 2 spinoffs).  This is sure to get hairy (Wookiee style) due to the diversity of the panel:

  • Erik Woods – movie and soundtrack expert
  • Robert Daniels – movie and soundtrack expert
  • Harrison Kopp – young fella who grew up on prequels and Clone Wars
  • LeBrain – old fart

Note:  We are only counting the 11 live action theatrical films, not any made-for-video films, or the animated Clone Wars (which did have a brief theatrical run).  Oh sure, Harrison might try to throw a curve ball but the rules are clear.

At the end of the night, will we have consensus?  I sure hope not!  What I do expect is plenty of lively conversation with maybe a little trash-talk.

Friday May 13, 7:00 PM E.S.T.  on YouTubeFacebook and also Facebook!

#985: Do You Know How Quickly a Pair of Glasses Melt in a Fire?

RECORD STORE TALES #985:
Do You Know How Quickly a Pair of Glasses Melt in a Fire?

The trip up to the lake was blissful.  I picked up my dad, loaded the car, and hit the road to short-sleeve weather and zero traffic.  You could see for kilometers ahead with no cars in sight.  Blissful.  With 2 terabytes of music on the hard drive, I selected a folder called “Tee Bone Tunes” by Tee Bone Erickson.  Songs my dad knew from the show.  But it was just background noise as we discussed every subject under the sun for a solid two hours.  After the Tee Bone songs, I played John Williams’ soundtrack to Indiana Jones and the Last Crusade, which was awesome and brought back lots of good memories.

“The pen, Henry!  The pen is mightier than the sword!” I quoted, in my best Denholm Elliott impression.

We discussed Indiana Jones and Back to the Future.  “Only the first and third movies,” we said of both series.

We spotted a wild turkey on the way and noticed a few new businesses.  Every year is different, I reminded myself.  You never knew what new things you would see, or how the beach would change from year to year.

This year, the beach is covered with stones.

“Good,” says my dad.  “It’ll keep the Sooners away.”  Hopefully, anyway.

We opened up the cottage in record time.  No snags, no hitches.  Got the water going, the hot water tank a-boiling, and the cable and internet were both running perfectly.  I installed four new phones to replace the dying ones that should have been replaced last year.  Four new phones…there used to be no phones!  Phones used to be considered a hindrance to the relaxation at the cottage.  Now you wouldn’t be without one.  Landline, cell phone, and laptop computer are now the norm.

After getting the barbecue out of the shed and setting up it, the next step was to burn all the brush that had fallen over the winter.  It was a windy winter and this was evident by the amount of fallen branches, needles and bark.  My dad got out the leaf blower while I swept.  The plan was to burn up all the scrub, so I got out some cardboard and started a fire.

The fire grew large and hot very quickly, gobbling up the now-dry wood and needles.

I can see the next moments in slow motion.

To preface, I will admit that my glasses, which I need to drive and do basically anything, have grown loose.  I kept putting off getting them adjusted.  “I could live with it for now,” I would reason to myself as an excuse to not go to the mall.

Well I no longer have to live with it.  In one smooth, liquid motion, my glasses fell off just as I was throwing an armful of brush into the fire.

I searched the ground frantically, hoping they just hit the dirt.  My dad joined me, both sweeping and searching.  Giving up hope, I began to dig through the fire.  I found nothing there either.  I searched the ground again, still nothing.  I can’t drive without my glasses.  Hell I can’t watch TV without my glasses.  I can barely use the computer without them.

We kept looking.  I called Jen to see if she could find my spare pair at home.  I knew a couple places to look.  No luck.  I dug through the ashes of the fire, spreading them out on the patio stones.  Nothing!  And then I saw it.  A thin stick that was too undamaged to be wood.  I reached down to find one remaining scorched arm to my glasses.  The lenses and assorted plastic had melted away.  That was all I could find in the detritus of what had been up to this point an awesome day.

I went to go sulk on the couch a while, tired from the search and miserable that I would have to spend the next day or two unable to see clearly.  Then I thought, “You know, I haven’t looked inside the glove box in a long time.  I don’t remember what’s in there.”

I went out to the car and emptied the glove box, and there it was:  an old hardshell glasses case.  Joy!  I couldn’t even remember my old glasses.  But there they were, and they would do for now.  I could see!

But I was severely rattled by this near miss, and had to chill out.  My dad and I went into town to have lunch and see what was open.  I realized that I had not been in downtown Kincardine for two and a half years.  In fact there were many things I did this weekend that I have not done in two and a half years.

It was my first time inside a Boston Pizza and the old Fincher’s Leisure World since before the pandemic.  I missed Leisure World.  For decades it was our main spot for model kits, art supplies, toys, games, books and magazines.  On this occasion I bought a Lego Star Wars Dagobah diorama for my sister as a surprise gift.  She’s recovering from a severe concussion and I thought she’d enjoy it.  Which she did!

It was nice to see Boston Pizza still there, and Fincher’s as reliable as ever.  My dad and I had a great lunch and an enjoyable afternoon out.  We headed back to the lake to meet up with Dr. Kathryn and my mom who arrived separately.

After a little more organising and relaxing, my dad and I headed back home.  We decided to go home a slightly different way, and we saw one of the weirdest sights we’d ever seen in cottage country.  And we’ve seen gaggles of wild turkeys.  On a stretch of road in the middle of farmtown, we saw a castle.  A brand new castle, with two turrets and a full-on stone rampart.  The imposing wall of rock could have housed a dozen archers!  Somebody had obviously decided to build their home in the shape of a castle and I daresay, they did it.  They really did it.  The windows may be glass and the driveway may be asphalt, but that there be a castle.  I’ll have to stop and take a picture next time.

The drive home was accompanied by the music of Jon Lord, with his Concerto for Group and Orchestra, featuring Bruce Dickinson singing the second movement.  That was some cool, lively music.  I was dead tired at this point but the music and conversation kept us going.  After this, I selected Johnny Cash’s American III: Solitary Man.  Another great album, this one with the outstanding Neil Diamond title track, and a cool rendition of “I Won’t Back Down” with Tom Petty.

We made it home safe and sound, and we celebrated with some Chinese food.  New glasses this week.  I wonder what they’ll look like?  We’ll see soon enough — pun intended!