Author: mikeladano

Metal, hard rock, rock and roll! Record Store Tales & Reviews! Grab A Stack of Rock and more. Poking the bear since 2010.

MOVIE REVIEW: Avatar: The Way of Water (2022)

AVATAR:  THE WAY OF WATER (2022)

Directed by James Cameron

For those who will tell me “Yeah, but you need to see it in 3D for the whole experience”:

I know.  But I didn’t.  A movie still has to hold my attention in 2D, and based on that, I’m writing this movie review.

I like James Cameron, and I liked the first Avatar well enough, even though it was a derivative story we’ve all seen before in multiple films.  I am happy to revisit Pandora in all its splendor, with new biomes and new lifeforms — including intelligent whale-like cetaceans.  The allegories are unsubtle.  Perhaps they have to be, in order to have an impact on a dumbed-down modern audience.  For the rest of us, these parallels are a little too on-the-nose.

Was Avatar: The Way of Water a good film?  Sure!  It wasn’t a bad one.  But it certainly was not great.

Too many characters, too hard to distinguish.  Zoe Saldana disappeared in this film.  Sam Worthington is almost second fiddle to Navi: The Next Generation.  The kids are the center stage this time:  Jake and Netiri’s kids, and a human named “Spider” that you will tire of watching run around barefoot in his Tarzan clothes.  Who is “Spider”?  He is the son of Stephen Lang’s character from the first film.  Yes, he had a son he didn’t know about.  But he will, because now dead humans can be sent back to Pandora in new avatar bodies.  Now Stephen Lang’s all blue, but still just as intense.  This time he wants revenge on Jake Sully.  Good thing that happens to line up with Earth’s plan to pretty much do to Pandora what they already did to Earth!

Jake and family must move, so they choose a water clan to join.  They are somewhat welcomed, but of course do not fit in, and the kids have to endure the kind of things that kids endure when they move to a new town in movies.

Because nobody on Pandora dies permanently, apparently, Sigourney Weaver returns as her own CG daughter, which actually works.  She’s the highlight of the film.  Others, like Kate Winslet and Edie Falco, just disappear into this very crowded movie.  Plenty more characters from the original make quick, token cameos.

The first two hours were fine enough.  A lot of world building, showing, and telling.  There’s a lot to see.  Every corner of the screen bleeds beauty.  Too much.  Eventually it becomes numbing.  So much colour, so much water, so much life.  Perhaps this is where the 3D aspect would come as a relief.  You can just…look.

The last hour’s worth of Titanic ripoffs and kid rescues was tiring and I barely finished.

Bring an extra large popcorn.

3/5 stars

#1053: I Have Beaten Covid

RECORD STORE TALES #1053: I Have Beaten Covid

Well, my battle is over.  Jen’s still positive.

I stated in previous chapters, my battle was nothing.  I never got sick beyond a sore throat, and feeling really, really tired.  I do still have a recurring headache.  For those curious, this is my vaccination history:

  1. Pfizer
  2. Moderna
  3. Pfizer

Jen had the exact same combo as me, but she suffered a lot harder.  She’s on the upswing now, but her symptoms included sore throat, mild cough, lots of body pain, congestion and fatigue.  I believe I brought it into the house from work.

I wanted to write this Covid journal to keep people informed, let them know what Covid is like.  Fortunately this journal was a bit of a bust!  No complaints from me.

Welcome to the Writer’s Room!

In the Writer’s Room…

“Gentlemen!” I announced to my friends gathered in the room.  “It’s good to have us all back together.  This is our first meeting together since Christmas, am I right?”

To my left, my bald and beautiful friend Aaron answered.  “It sure was, sorry I have not been involved with the Community as much since then, it’s a busy time.”

I smiled and patted his shoulder.  “It is a busy time, yet you just provided ‘Chapter 14:  Tee Bone Man and Superdekes Discover the Tao‘ for us, and people have absolutely loved it.  It was daring, technical, fun, and still managed to fall into continuity!”

Aaron bowed his head.  “Thank you but flattery will get you nowhere!”

To my right sat Harrison the Australian, silky-haired, and with a note pad in front of him.  To his right was John T. Snow, sipping from a Gene Simmons Soda cola bottle quietly.  Opposite him, and to Aaron’s left was the 80’s Metal Man, sitting quietly and peering over his glasses at the rest of us.  At the end of the conference table was a pair of monitors with webcams enabled.  Their users had yet to log in from remote locations.

“Well gentlemen, let’s get started while we wait for our last two guests.  To say the least, Harrison and I have been busy.  We have our next chapter of the Adventures of Tee Bone Man ready to go with art complete.  We’re calling it ‘Max the Axe’ for now, but it does have a proper title that will be revealed in due time.  Harrison wrote this piece, which introduces the new character of Max the Axe himself; he’s kind of a big deal.”

The guys all smiled and nodded at this news.  “And then,” I continued, “Harrison has written what we are considering the climax to Tee Bone Man:  Phase One.  It’s so big that he had to split it into three instalments.  Three stories, three posts, over three days.  It’s a big ‘Epic’ that will serve as the grand finale to Phase One.”

80’s Metal Man raised his hand.  “I apologize, but for the benefit of the table, can you explain Phase One and what this means for us?”

“Gladly!” I answered.  I reached for a big marker board and began a diagram.  “You know how Marvel movies had Phase One:  The Infinity Saga?  And now we’re into Phase Two: The Multiverse Saga?”  I paused; everyone nodded yes.  “Multiverse is all the rage these days.  Star Trek is doing it, DC is doing it.  So are we.  The first 17 stories in The Adventures of Tee Bone Man comprise Phase One.  It’s a specific Saga, and it will all make sense to you when we wrap it up.  Harrison’s ‘Epic’ is our Endgame.  After that, Phase Two!  We’re starting to bring in characters from other alternate universe.  I’ll give you one spoiler:  the first multiversal character we introduce is a favourite Star Wars villain.”  There was a gasp of whispers around the table.  “A villain, but not our main overarching villain.  In fact, I’ve even already named this character in one of the stories.  If you missed it, you missed it!”

Snowman raised his hand.  “What if we’re not quite as big into Star Wars as you and Harrison?” he asked with fairness.

“No worries Snowman.  You guys are all going to continue on doing what you do.  Harrison and I have an eye on the overall story arc.  We know who the ‘Big Bad’ villain in the end will be, who has been driving all this action all this time.  We know what this villain wants.  All you guys have to do is keep writing your stories and we’ll do the rest.  In fact now you can do even more.  If you want your character the ‘Snowman’ to meet his evil opposite – the ‘Sandman’ perhaps – you can have them meet now.  You can do anything.  You can have Gene Simmons team up with Charles Luther from the film Runaway, if you want to.  The store is now open, gentlemen!”

This seemed to create a flurry of activity.  Harrison was scribbling notes as the others all seemed fired up by this news.  I then addressed Metal Man directly.

“Now, Metal Man, I know you have a story ready about the plot thread involving the secret mole in Rock and Roll Heaven.  Your story will fit perfectly into our Phase Two, which will tend to be broader in style and structure.  There will be tangents.  One of our new writers has written an entire story that takes place in an alternate universe, and…”

At that moment one of the two monitors came to life.  A dark, blurry image appeared.

“Hi!  Who’s this!” I addressed the screen.

There was a buzz of static and a distorted voice.

“This is Holen,” responded the blurred figure.

“Holen!  Welcome to the show my friend.  You know Harrison, this is Aaron, John and Michael the 80’s Metal Man.”

“Hello, Richard Dreyfuss, I always wanted to meet you, you were great in Jaws,” said Holen to John T. Snow.  Snowman laughed.  Not the first Dreyfuss joke at this table, and so he even wrote Dreyfuss into Tee Bone Man as a character.

“I was just about to talk about your chapter, Holen.  Why don’t you take it from here?”

Holen’s distorted voice came through the speakers.  “Yes, I’ve written the first chapter of an ongoing ‘Noir’ universe.  We call it ‘Noirison’.  It’s different versions of our characters, unconnected to the main Tee Bone Man universe, but still a different, dark reflection of it.”

I looked at the guys.  “You see?  This is the kind of thing we can do with the Multiverse.  Maybe Aaron can bring in a hockey story from a universe where the Montreal Habs win the cup.”  Only Aaron and I laughed at this joke.  The Habs, of course, are Tee Bone Man’s hockey team.

There was a beep, and the second monitor came to life.

“Hey guys!  Sorry I’m late.  Kids, softball, you know the whole routine!”

I beamed as the final guest had finally arrived.  “Guys, please meet MarriedandHeels, the California Girl!  She’s been helping me write the Edie Van Heelin’ stories and I think it’s time I brought her into these meetings.  Everyone say hello.”

The guys made their introductions, all but Harrison, who continued scribbling furious notes.  She waved back with a wide smile.

“You’re just in time, Joelle.  I was just getting to our new stuff,” I said to her screen.

“Well take it away then, let’s hear it!” she responded with enthusiasm.

“So, as you guys have probably guessed, I’m been setting up a big crossover between the Adventures of Tee Bone Man and Edie Van Heelin’.  California Girl here has been co-writing the Edie stories with me…”

Joelle interrupted.  “Well, you do all the hard work.”

I adopted a mocking tone.  “Oh yeah, my bruised and battered fingers are so sore from all the hard typing.”  Harrison laughed as he scribbled.  “Anyway, we have a few more Edie stories coming, before the big crossover, but I can confirm it’s happening.  After discussion with Harrison, we felt that the big crossover should serve as the coda of Phase One.  I am happy to announce that I have written the story, and it ties up a lot of the big threads that we have been secretly weaving without your knowledge.  It also starts laying tracks for Phase Two.  I think you are all going to love it.  I just need Joelle to provide her story notes and additions, and Harrison to do the art.”

“That’s right,” added Joelle.  “We need to make sure Edie is wearing all the right clothes and drinking the right tea.  The fine details,” she winked.

“Important details!” I corrected.  “I always value your input.  We created Edie Van Heelin’ together, she’s gotta fit both our visions.”

I noticed Harrison had barely mumbled a word this whole time.

“How you doing over there Harrison, nothing to say today?  You see California Girl is here?”  California Girl waved from her screen.

Harrison finally looked up.  “Oh, yes, hello California Girl.  I’m so sorry, I do apologize, I’ve just been working on some numbers here.”  Harrison then addressed the table.

“Guys, I’ve been working up the Lego budgets to do the artwork in Phase Two.  While I do have a number of sets covered, no spoilers, it’s the figures that are hard to acquire.  And, no offence, Edie Van Heelin’s constant costume changes are a large sum of this budget.”

I rubbed the side of my head.  “I knew this would be a problem.  Think we can have her do the battle in her silver skirt?  I can tone down the costume changes otherwise.”

“As long as you can still make a Lady Vader figure for Edie to fight down the line,” added California Girl.

“Yes, of course, no problem, but with us introducing new characters, the Lego budget is still very worrisome,” finished Harrison.

“Well, I do have some good news for you there,” I told him.  “I just sent you a bunch of bags of Lego as a donation to the Lego art fund.  Lots of minifigs in there, including a couple that will come in handy next December when we do our second Christmas episode…”

California Girl began clapping at this news.  The others soon joined in, and suddenly it was a round of applause for Harrison and his awesome Lego art.

“Yeah let’s hear it for this guy and his awesome art!” I said.  Harrison blushed and quietly said “thank you.”

After the applause died down, John Snow served us all a round of Simmons soda, while California Girl drank her green tea, and Holen consumed a blurry bottle of something blurry.  I addressed the room.

“So there you go, folks!  Phase One is wrapping up in months.  Three chapters to go:  ‘Max the Axe’, the ‘Epic’, and ‘Tee Bone Man vs Edie Van Heelin’.  When we reveal what the actual title of Phase One is, you will understand the plot threads being wrapped up.  You’re gonna love it!  Then, it’s wide open in Phase Two: The Multiverse Saga!”

“Good meeting, guys!” said Aaron.  “I gotta go get the kids from school!”

“And I have to take mine to their next sporting event!” said California Girl.  “Wanna see my shoes first?”  She then showed off a cool purple and black pair of Nike’s.  “These took me 12.5 miles on Monday!”  We all congratulated her and she signed off.

“I have to run too,” said Holen.  “Not 12.5 miles though.  Looking forward to what you all think of Noirison.”

Michael the 80s Metal Man stood.  “And I look forward to your feedback regarding my story of the mole in Rock and Roll Heaven.”

“Patience, young Jedi!” I bowed and responded.  Michael then disappeared through a portal.

Snowman grabbed the remaining Simmons soda and also excused himself.  Something about a big record sale somewhere he had to check out.  Just Harrison and I were left in the Writer’s Room.

“Exciting times, eh?” I asked him.

“Very,” he responded.

I sat there and just stared at him, as he calmly stroked his moustache.

“You don’t get very excited, do you?” I questioned.

“This is the most excited I’ve been in days,” answered Harrison.

I shrugged.  “True that.  Wait until the Lego donations arrive, and do the budget later.  You have lots of ideas?”

This time, Harrison truly did look excited.

“Oh yes,” he said.  “The best is yet to come!”

 

The end

THE WRITER’S ROOM

The Writer’s Room: Chapter One

The Writer’s Room:  It’s Beginning to Look a Lot Like a Tee Bone Man Christmas

The Writer’s Room:  Welcome to the Writer’s Room!

 

THE ADVENTURES OF TEE BONE MAN:  PHASE ONE – THE ________ SAGA

Chapter Zero:  Tee Bone Man – Origins (by LeBrain)

Chapter One: A Friend in Need (by LeBrain)

Chapter Two: Hell Freezes Over (by Harrison Kopp)

Chapter Three: Hell Ain’t A Bad Place to Be (by LeBrain)

Chapter Four: Tee Bone Man and the Rink of…Doom? (by Aaron KMA)

Chapter Five: The Super Duper Vault (by John T. Snow)

Chapter Six: Tee Bone Man Goes to Camp (by LeBrain)

Chapter Seven:  The Revenge of Common Knowledge (by LeBrain)

Chapter Eight:  Tee Bone & Deke’s Time Travelling Adventure (by 80sMetalMan)

Chapter Nine:  Castle Communications (by Harrison Kopp)

Chapter Ten:  The Case of the Lost Iron Maiden Socks (by LeBrain)

Chapter Eleven:  A Tee Bone Man Christmas (by all five of us)

Chapter Twelve:  Lost In Space (by John T. Snow)

Chapter Thirteen:  Clip Show (by LeBrain)

Chapter Fourteen:  Tee Bone Man and Superdekes Discover the Tao (An Intermission) (By Aaron KMA)

Chapter Fifteen:  “Max The Axe” (by Harrison Kopp) Coming soon

Chapter Sixteen:  “The Epic” parts 1, 2 and 3 (by Harrison Kopp) Coming this spring

Chapter Seventeen:  Tee Bone Man vs. Edie Van Heelin’ (by LeBrain & California Girl) Coming this summer – conclusion to Phase One

THE ADVENTURES OF TEE BONE MAN:  PHASE TWO – THE MULTIVERSE SAGA

Chapter Eighteen:  Shinzon – Origins (By LeBrain)

 

 

THE ADVENTURES OF EDIE VAN HEELIN’

The Adventures of Edie Van Heelin’:  Edie vs. Tommy Lee in the Bouncy Castle of Doom! (By LeBrain)

The Adventures of Edie Van Heelin’:  Edie and the Quest for the Lost Lego (By LeBrain with Harrison Kopp)

The Adventures of Edie Van Heelin’:  Edie Van Heelin’s Canadian Vacation (By LeBrain)

The Adventures of Edie Van Heelin’:  Edie Van Heelin’s Canadian Vacation Part 2 (By LeBrain & California Girl) Coming soon

The Adventures of Edie Van Heelin’:  Edie Meets the Wolf (by LeBrain)

 

#1052: The Covid Chronicles Continue

RECORD STORE TALES #1052: The Covid Chronicles Continue

I’ve stopped testing.  Jen is still suffering pretty hard.

I worked from home for most of this week, which both sucked, and didn’t.  Because I didn’t have to do the usual stuff – shower, pack a lunch, drive, wait – I had a lot more free time at home and got some extra creative projects done in the mornings which I like to do.

I also explored un-ripped parts of my music collection, as seen below.  The “G” section was easy to access, and so I grabbed a stack of discs that I had not played in over 10 years.  Much much longer in some cases:

  • Peter Gabriel – Shaking the Tree – Sixteen Golden Greats
  • Marvin Gaye – The Very Best Of
  • Girl – Pure Greed
  • Giuffria – Silk & Steel
  • Roger Glover – Butterfly Ball
  • Glenn Gould – Goldberg Variations – 1955 version
  • Glenn Gould – Goldberg Variations – 1981 version
  • Glenn Gould – Beethoven/Liszt Symphony #6
  • Green Bullfrog Sessions

Rediscovering Glenn Gould was a delight; I especially like when you can hear him humming or singing along to his playing.  Green Bullfrog was funky and cool!  Blackmore really wailed and I could absolutely hear that it was Ian Paice on drums.  Butterfly Ball was surprising fun.  Giuffria was way, way, way more Journey-like than I remembered.  Sounds like they were really going for a Journey vibe, especially with David Glenn Eisley’s vocals.  Peter Gabriel and Marvin Gaye were fun re-visits with a lot of great songs.  But the real surprise was Girl, featuring Phil Lewis and Phil Collen.  I loved hearing Collen’s trademark shred, but Lewis is an underrated singer.  Girl was the favourite of this batch.  Sorry Beethoven.

Back to Covid.  Jen is suffering, not gonna lie.  I have zero symptoms, but this morning I did cough up some phlegm.  Kinda like you often do several days after a bad cold.  Except I never had the bad cold.

Jen’s experienced dizzy spells and general, all around malaise.  She wishes her nose would stop running.

I experienced a troll on the “Let’s Get Physical” Facebook group who commented that Covid wasn’t real, when I posted my Covid listening list.  I told him to “eat shit” and blocked him.

Just another day in Covid land.

 

EXCLUSIVE! @MarriedandHeels is now @MarriedandCrocs! [Instagram/OnlyFans] VIDEOS & PHOTO GALLERY

BREAKING NEWS!  April 1 2023

To the shock and dismay of her 200,000 fans, Grab A Stack of Rock co-host @MarriedandHeels has made the announcement that she is done with high heel shoes, and is now endorsing Crocs and only Crocs!  This will come with a name change, to @MarriedandCrocs.

“It’s true,” she announced while sipping on her watermelon peach tea, with local honey.  “To be honest, high heel shoes are too much work.  Do you have any idea how hard it to walk in 10 inch platforms?  I know my loyal fans will understand.  After all, I still have my boobs, and they really like those!” she reasoned.

Reportedly, her OnlyFans account saw a boost of over 1000 new subscribers this morning.

 

“There must be many fans out there with a Crocs fetish,” she concluded.  “I plan on buying as many colours and styles as I can!  Especially those sexy KISS Crocs!  I bet they look hot with silver anklets!”

Is there anything you don’t like about Crocs, we asked her?

“Just that you can’t see my pretty toe rings and pedicure!” she winked.  With that, @MarriedandHeels logged onto Amazon to order a pair in hot pink.  “See you April 7 on Grab A Stack of Rack!” she said to her fans in a statement.

We have reached out to @MarriedandCrocs for more information, but she said “You’ll just have to like and subscribe to Grab A Stack of Rack for more!”

To be continued…

Watch her crunching leaves in her Crocs!

 

Not to be outdone, Mike has opened his OWN OnlyFans with his OWN Crocs fetish videos!


#1051: Covid Chronicles 4

RECORD STORE TALES #1051: Covid Chronicles 4

Day Four

Back to work, and I am tired.  A couple hours of work are enough to make me feel it.  Legs are tired too.  Maybe because I’ve been on my back all week.  I have no cough, nothing wrong with my lungs…I got lucky.

Jen is less lucky.  She has the symptoms.  A bottle of Sprite tasted like fish to her.  And I feel bad because it was clearly me that brought it into the house.

I only go one place.  Work and back.  I’ve been nowhere else.

 

The Adventures of Tee Bone Man Chapter 14: Tee Bone Man and Superdekes Discover the Tao (An Intermission) (By Aaron KMA)

By Aaron KMA

THE ADVENTURES OF TEE BONE MAN CHAPTER 14:
Tee Bone Man and Superdekes Discover the Tao (An Intermission)

It was noon on Sunday
Superdekes and Tee Bone Man
were tired and sore

Saving the whole world
winter, spring, summer, autumn
was wearing them out

They needed a break
they discussed break-time options
with hair of the dog

The tunes were on low
to lessen future headaches
Superdekes spoke first

“After Mars, I’m beat,”
Tee Bone Man agreed in full
“Let’s relax,” said he

“We also agree
that we don’t need to travel
as we’ve seen it all”

Superdekes nodded
“we just need folks to chill out
for a little bit”

They thought for a while
but neither man could succeed
in making a plan

Time passed, chill was had
great food, great drinks, great tunes too,
as the lads thought and talked

And they stayed that way
convivial and happy
as time just crept by

There was nothing done
and there was nothing to do
and it all felt right

Soon a week was gone
the phone had not yet rung once
finally they saw

Superdekes laughed first
“Yo Bro, you see what’s up?
We just had our break!”

Tee Bone Man smiled huge
“Dude, you’re right and it’s so right,
just what we needed!”

It was night again
so the lads got comfy, and
good fortune was theirs

THE ADVENTURES OF TEE BONE MAN:  PHASE ONE

Chapter Zero:  Tee Bone Man – Origins (by LeBrain)

Chapter One: A Friend in Need (by LeBrain)

Chapter Two: Hell Freezes Over (by Harrison Kopp)

Chapter Three: Hell Ain’t A Bad Place to Be (by LeBrain)

Chapter Four: Tee Bone Man and the Rink of…Doom? (by Aaron KMA)

Chapter Five: The Super Duper Vault (by John T. Snow)

Chapter Six: Tee Bone Man Goes to Camp (by LeBrain)

Chapter Seven:  The Revenge of Common Knowledge (by LeBrain)

Chapter Eight:  Tee Bone & Deke’s Time Travelling Adventure (by 80sMetalMan)

Chapter Nine:  Castle Communications (by Harrison Kopp)

Chapter Ten:  The Case of the Lost Iron Maiden Socks (by LeBrain)

Chapter Eleven:  A Tee Bone Man Christmas (by all five of us)

Chapter Twelve:  Lost In Space (by John T. Snow)

Chapter Thirteen:  Clip Show (by LeBrain)

Chapter Fourteen:  Tee Bone Man and Superdekes Discover the Tao (An Intermission) (By Aaron KMA)

Chapter Fifteen:  Max The Axe (by Harrison Kopp) Coming soon

Chapter Sixteen:  “The Epic” parts 1, 2 and 3 (by Harrison Kopp) Coming this spring

Chapter Seventeen:  Tee Bone Man vs. Edie Van Heelin’ (by LeBrain & California Girl) Coming this summer – conclusion to Phase One

 

THE EXTENDED LEBRAINIVERSE

The Adventures of Edie Van Heelin’:  Edie vs. Tommy Lee in the Bouncy Castle of Doom! (By LeBrain)

The Adventures of Edie Van Heelin’:  Edie and the Quest for the Lost Lego (By LeBrain with Harrison Kopp)

The Adventures of Edie Van Heelin’:  Edie Van Heelin’s Canadian Vacation (By LeBrain)

The Adventures of Edie Van Heelin’:  Edie Van Heelin’s Canadian Vacation Part 2 (By LeBrain & California Girl) Coming soon

The Adventures of Edie Van Heelin’:  Edie Meets the Wolf (by LeBrain)

 

The Writer’s Room: Chapter One

The Writer’s Room:  It’s Beginning to Look a Lot Like a Tee Bone Man Christmas

 

#1050: Covid Chronicles 3 – Sharing is Caring

RECORD STORE TALES #1048: Covid Chronicles 3 – Sharing is Caring

Day Three

Fatigued and restful, I did need more sleep.  What I did not need was to pass this Covid on to Jen.  Our pharmacist advised it was inevitable that I would, given our small living space.

She has a scratchy throat, a cough, and now her sense of taste has gone completely out of whack.  Sprite tastes like fish.

I am grateful that I have not gotten worse, but I feel terrible about this latest turn of events.

VHS Archives #135: Extreme sign autographs in Scarborough, Ontario (1991)

Not much to be said here, just four guys at a mall signing autographs for throngs of fans! From the Pepsi Power Hour.

#1049: Covid Chronicles 2

RECORD STORE TALES #1048: Covid Chronicles 2

Day Two

I slept for hours!  Lost track of how many hours.  In the morning I was still testing positive.  Jen is still negative.  In the afternoon, my sore throat went away, leaving me only tired and achey.

Monday will be a sick day from work.  I am hoping to go back on Tuesday.  Only the test will tell.