One time, we almost got sued for wrecking some guy’s golden shirt.
We had this annoying sidewalk sign. Everybody hated it. When the wind caught hold of it, it would always fall over, if not go for a short jog. Some days I didn’t bother putting it out, I hated it so much.
I never hated it more, however, than the day that idiot in the golden shirt walked past. Our sign took up half the sidewalk (another reason I hated it) and this idiot wasn’t looking where he was going and sideswiped it. I knew right away because I heard the sign crash. I looked outside and I saw this guy stumbling next to the downed sidewalk sign.
“Oh shit.” I concluded.
One of the girls immediately ran out to see if the guy was OK. Yeah, he was fine. Not a scratch. But his golden shirt was torn! Oh my God!
He threatened to sue! He wanted the owners name and contact information! We provided the requested data.
“You’re going to get a call from my lawyer about this, you wait and see,” said Captain Gold Shirt.
Pffftr. Gold shirt? Who do you think you are, James T. Kirk or something?
My buddy Statham is back with another guest shot. This guy has haunted record stores nation wide. He’s had a lot of experiences, selling used discs, and here’s his perspective in the context of Record Store Tales….
LeBrain & Statham, 15 years ago
RECORD STORE TALES Part 85: Selling,by Statham
I couldn’t tell you how Mike manages his record collection, though I have a guess. Allow me this imagining: Mike holds on to most of what he buys, because his is a collection built on deliberation, patient searching and care. He only pulls the trigger when he’s getting exactly what he wants. Of course, just about everything he owns is a Special or Limited Edition in some way. I picture him as more of a curator in the Living Library Of Rawk. (Hey Mike, am I close?) [LeBrain: Dead on.]
My own collection, by comparison to the above supposition, is completely scattershot. Finding/buying and selling CDs are fairly equal parts of the hobby, for me. Sure, I have a lot of things that I’ve found over the years that I will never sell. Some just have good monetary value (while also being something I want to own), some are out of print or from very limited print-runs. Some are autographed. I have complete (or nearly complete) collections of artists I love, and I’ll never break those up. Some are artists that were new to me at the time, and were great discoveries that have stayed with me since. I have discs that I bought, or was given, that have sentimental reasons for staying in the collection, as I associate people and places with albums/songs. Anyway, I call all of these the Anchors, the ones that have followed me everywhere.
But there is another, majority portion of the pile of CDs which I consider to be fluid. Unless I’m filling in gaps in a collection, many (if not most) of the CDs I buy are on speculation. I’m always wondering what things sound like, trying new artists out. Now, added up over the years, these purchases have spanned almost every genre. I’ve heard a lot of music. I remember that C’Dement on Ste-Catherines in Montreal had a huge 2-section sale bin by the front door where the constantly-rotating stock of CDs were priced from $0.99 to a maximum $5.99. I could load up on music, sometimes getting as many as ten discs for the price of one new release. I REALLY liked that. Such a great way to expand my horizons. Sadly, that place, like so many I used to haunt, is no longer there.
There are lots of reasons I sell discs. I have moved around quite a bit, so I sometimes unload CDs in bulk just to avoid having to lug them (and to get funds to help with the move). Clearly, not many of these are Anchor CDs. Sometimes I buy a disc because I like a song I heard, and the rest of the disc doesn’t cut it (and then I eventually tire of the song I liked), so out it goes. Sometimes people give me discs, thinking I’ll like it, and… well, no. And sometimes I think I’ll like a CD, but it turns out that it just sucks. That happens more than it should.
ANYWAY. How does any of this relate to LeBrain? Easy, I sold him a lot of CDs over the years that I dealt with him at his store. I always looked for him. He knew the score. Let me tell you, I’ve been “helped” by others (at his store, sure, and in many, many other shops across this great land of ours), and a lot of them just didn’t get it. Most often, I’d get someone who would offer me far less than things were worth, knowing they could then sell it for more and thus turn a profit. They could only hope I was an idiot. I am not. What these people failed to realize was that I spent a lot of time in record shops, and knew generally what things were worth or were priced at currently. This is especially true now that we have the wonders of the internets. Often was the time I’d hear what they offered, know it for the piss-take it was, and refuse. I’d just pack up my CDs and go.
Other times, there’d be a teenager behind the counter. And, all deference to them and their raging hormones (surely some of them must know what they’re doing), most just didn’t know what I was giving them. Honestly, if it wasn’t Top 40 or mainstream, they had no idea. Their offers were always laughable, and I should mention that I generally consider my expectations to be fair. One time, while they went through what I’d brought in, I was browsing the shelves and asked for Dead Kennedys. I was jonesing for it, and thinking I’d get it on trade. The kid looked me right in the face and honestly asked “Who?” Man, I wept for the future, that day. So as a rule, until they’re done bursting their spots, I tend to stay away from selling CDs to the youngsters.
But Mike was different. Sure, over time, we built up a rapport. But even the first few times I brought in a shoe box of discs for trade, he was fair and knowledgeable. He’d pick up this or that disc and have a comment about it, or a band somehow related to it. He never once tried to undercut me with less than what something was worth. Mike was unafraid to comment on what I had, too, often in humourous ways. I’ve already told these pages about the Jewel Incident, and the Zeppelin Incredulousness. Such was Mike’s way. Often, with other places and people, I felt I had to watch as they went through each disc and explain what it was. I could spot looks of indifference and/or confusion from across the room. But I knew I could trust Mike to competently sort through the pile on his own (thus freeing me up to browse for new-to-me things while he worked).
Mike respected, too, that I was up for trying new music, and always had a helpful tip or suggestion on what to try next. I hardly ever took the cash (unless I really needed it) when I brought stuff to Mike. I took store trade instead. Not only did I get more for my stuff that way, but I’d get some new music and happily be on my way… until the next time, when we’d do it all over again.
I’d left town eventually, but even then I would mail a box to Mike for trade or cash from his store rather than deal with the nits in the shops where I was currently living. And at some point, I heard that Mike had left the store and moved on to another, unrelated job. It was a loss for them, a gain for whomever got him next. And too bad, as I understand it, that the next job wasn’t putting his music knowledge to work. The man’s an encyclopedia.
With the exception of one fellow out West whose knowledge and ability I trust as on par, I have rarely met a record store employee with Mike’s capabilities and fairness. My collection has gained many Anchors, and is miles (and even Miles…Davis that is) better for having dealt with him.
RECORD STORE TALES Part 84: Carpet Cleaning in December
We used to get our carpets steam cleaned twice a year, once in the summer and once in the winter. The winter one was the biggest waste of money you can wipe muddy boots on.
The very last one that I was there for, 2005, was memorable. To make it even more fun, earlier in the day as he was leaving the store, my boss said, “Do good sales or you’re both dead.” Total morale boost!
I had to stay late to watch the store while the cleaners were doing their business, and lock up after them. They usually took an hour, so that’s not too bad. What sucks more is the day after. Because you have to move everything off the carpets for the cleaners, you have to come in super early the next morning to put it all back.
So, 8 am, December. It was starting to snow. I entered the store.
1. Everything is wet. Condensation on the windows means I had to remake a whole bunch of paper signs. (We had no lamination device.)
2. The carpets will probably remain wet for most of the week.
3. The very first customer of the day tracked in muddy snow on his boots.
4. It’s STUPID!
By the end of the day, the carpets looked the same as they did before! At least we must have done good sales, because I’m still alive.
This topic was suggested by Mr. Craig Fee of 107.5 Dave FM. He wanted to know about discounts in the record store days. So here goes!
RECORD STORE TALES PART 83: Discounts
Yeah yeah, I know I know. I know the story. You’re a DJ. Or, the owner usually gives you a discount. Or, the “other guy” usually haggles with you. Or, you’re senior and you get a discount at McDonalds. Blah blah blah blah.
So we kind of had this set deal in place, a frequent buyer card. Buy “x” get 1 free within certain parameters. It actually worked out to be a really good deal, if you bought low and redeemed high. However people usually wanted a discount instead of that. (Occassionally, a guy would DEMAND!!! a certain discount not realizing that our card was a better deal.)
I always thought it was funny when people would say, “I’m buying two. What kind of discount can I get?” Two?
You’d get people who say, “The case is cracked. Do I get a discount?”
No, but I’ll put it in a brand new case for you. Just like new now.
“You can’t give me a discount? I’d prefer that.”
No, all it needs is a new case, dumbass!
Another classic: “Hey. No tax on these today, right?” Well, shit. Maybe you should talk to Mr. Harper and Mr. McGuinty about forfeiting their cut of my sale because that one I can’t even override.
It was really, really rare that I would budge on prices. In the early days the rules were very strict on that. Later on they got a little more lax, but sometimes you could placate a customer by stamping their card a few extra times. If you redeemed your card for the max value, each stamp worked out to be worth a buck.
One thing that 50% of customers never figured out: You won’t get a discount by being annoying as fuck. That means not calling me “buddy”, “bud”, and especially “chief”. And if you make me run around the store to fetch 25 fucking discs before you pick 3 of them, no, you ain’t getting a discount!
The first time a record store person had any impact on me was actually well after high school. Until then, I never spent much time interacting with them. I always knew how to find what I wanted, and I never special-ordered anything because the stuff I wanted, they couldn’t get anyway. I had to order my rare albums from magazines.
In 1990, Peter and I got heavily into Faith No More. Peter got Introduce Yourself before I did, but I found We Care A Lot first. I found it at Sam The Record Man, generally considered the best store in town at the time. Angel Dust had just came out on CD, but I hadn’t got it yet. We Care A Lot was a rarity; therefore a priority in my spending budget.
It was there, on cassette. $14.99. Not cheap.
Al King was behind the counter. Al King was the undisputed music guru in town. Undisputed. I strived to be what he represented. Heck he even had a feature spot on a weekly local TV program — The Metal Mike Show — which I watched many times.
“Do you have the new Faith No More yet?” Al asked me as he took the security tag off my purchase.
“No, not yet. I saw this and I had to get it because I’ve never seen it before,” I answered.
“The new one is…pretty different. Have you heard Mr. Bungle?” he inquired.
Al was engaging me. He had just seen Bungle live. He liked Bungle, but the new Faith No More was still growing on him. He explained to me that you could really hear the Bungle influece on it. The next time I came in, he told me he had just seen Faith No More. He told me everything about the show.
Years later, things cycle around, and I found myself in Al’s shoes. Kids were coming up to me and asking my opinion on things. I tried my best to be honest and treat them with respect. I had my bad days — we all do — but I certainly didn’t want to recommend music that I didn’t think was any good.
When I saw a young guy or girl come in buying Kiss, that was an instant obvious coversation starter. Tall One and Short One, who I talked about several chapters ago, started getting into bands like Kiss and Oasis, so I tried to steer them into the albums I was into.
I made a lot of friends that way. Shane Schedler, who I’ve talked about twicebefore was one guy who trusted my opinion implicity. There was another guy, Italian Tony, who always wanted to know what I was into. I sold him Slash Puppet that way, I knew he would be into that band. And then there’s my buddy Statham. Some found me on Facebook, some I just run into randomly.
Of course I had just as many failures. Sometimes you expect someone to be into a new Maiden album just because they liked the old Maiden, for example. Then they don’t trust you anymore.
I don’t think I appreciated my position back then. I don’t think I saw myself as Al King. I think I saw myself as still trying but not quite succeeding at being that guy. It’s only now that I talk to people and get it. Somebody will say to me, “You told me to buy this album, and I did, and it’s in my top ten of all time now.” That’s a cool feeling. I wish I appreciated it back then.
The truth is, it was a job just like any other. You were a business and businesses were supposed to make money. Stores have to be cleaned, books balance, shelves stocked. Sometimes it felt like conversation was keeping you from your job. And spend too much time with a single customer, and you got dirty looks from people with the authority to give you dirty looks.
I appreciate now though, that conversation was the job. Conversations that I don’t even remember have turned out to have huge impacts on people’s musical lives. Al King was a trusted musical guru to me. It’s weird to think that I might be that to other people. But if that truly is the case, I have to say thanks, because that’s all I ever really wanted anyway.
We used to get a lot of DJ’s coming in. They’d buy a lot of stuff (at a discounted price) but they’d also require a lot of extra customer service. Most DJ’s already had a substantial collection of essential discs for every occasion, so they’d come in looking for obscure requests.
I can’t remember the request in this story, but I do remember the DJ. He went in to see Trevor at his store first, looking for this rare CD.
Trevor called me, and I did have it, so I set it aside. Then Trevor asked the DJ’s name so I could hold it. The only issue here was the DJ (a very nice guy actually) had a thick, unidentified accent.
“Can I get your first name?” Trevor asked.
“Beer,” the man seemingly answered.
Trevor must have blinked when he asked, “Sorry, what was that?”
“Beer!” came the answer.
Trevor responded, “Really, your name is Beer? That’s cool!”
“No no no. BEER! B-I-L-L. Beer!”
“OH! Bill. Sorry. Got it,” Trevor answered, glad to have gotten to the bottom of it, but no doubt disappointed that the man’s name was not in fact Beer.
However that’s the kind of thing that creates a nickname, so Bill was always Beer between us. You’d put a CD on hold, you’d write “Beer” on it. You’d know who it was for! It was for Bill, obviously.
Back in 2003, I was working with this…fucking idiot. We’ll call him Dandy. Easily the most superficial person I’ve ever had the displeasure of associating with. We’ll be talking more about him later on, believe me.
When Dandy told me there was this new band that would be right up my alley called The Darkness, I wanted nothing to do with it. Not only did I hate pretty much everything he raved about, but he meant it sort of as a joke. Like, “Watch me get Mike into a shitty band like The Darkness.”
Anyway, the way he decribed them to me sounded spoofy, and I hate 96.5% of spoofy music. I take my hair rock seriously.
A few months later, we opened another franchise in St. Catharines (a shitty hour and a half long drive in the mornings), and I was assigned training duty for their new manager. We worked side by side daily for a couple weeks and I found him to be a good guy. When he put The Darkness on, I was skeptical, but by no means opposed, because he obviously wasn’t a shitface like Dandy. He wasn’t trying to yank my chain.
Yet, I’d never heard this band before…who the hell were they? Some new band from England that looked like a cross between Queen and Aerosmith. And sounded something like a cross between Queen, AC/DC and Guns N’ Roses. Yet was nothing at all like anything that was coming out at the time. And they could play.
I like bands with unique singers, and Justin Hawkins is definitely unique. I was into it! Dandy was wrong — this wasn’t a spoof. These guys were serious.
We played that album any time we could get away with it — which wasn’t often since Permission To Land is loaded with “fucks”. I grew to love every song. Great songs like “Growing On Me” and “Friday Night” kept me going on the really bad days, like a shot of Liquid Schwartz in the ol’ engine. They quickly became my Favourite New Band, and pretty much have remained that for the last ten years!
When the second album came out, I remember one of the head office people made a point of telling me how much she hated it.
“The new Darkness…sucks.”
“Oh yeah?” I responded, not really surprised I’d hear that from this person. They loved to rain on my musical parades. They thought they were doing me a favour, trying to get me out of “cheesey” music, and onto “good” music.
“There’s this one song where all he does is sing, ‘I love what you’ve done with your hair,’ over and over again,” they complained. (Note: The song is called “Knockers”, of course.)
Predictably, I loved the second album, although it took a few listens to absorb. Today I find myself leaning more towards the second Darkness album. I think their ambition got the better of them in a lot of ways though. I think One Way Ticket was more appropriate as a fourth album, but as a second, a little shocking for the masses to absorb. And so, in my store at least, they ignored it in droves!
I followed them through the breakup, Hot Leg and Stone Gods, and now cannot wait to hear the long awaited third record, Hot Cakes, on August 21. Welcome back, The Darkness!
You’ve seen me say it here many times: I love physical product. I hate being forced to download something. I hate paying money to own…what? 1’s and 0’s floating on a magnetic disc, a fragile thing that can die just because it wants to. Know what I mean?
I like packaging. I like knowing who wrote the songs, who produced them, who played what. I like artwork, I like lyrics, heck I even like the thank-you’s! Ever read the thank-you’s inside Def Leppard’s Hysteria? Extensive and hilarious! Mostly though, I think you gain an appreciation of an artist’s body of work, the more you know about it.
I like CD’s, and I’m fortunate to have worked in a CD store for pretty much the entire age of CD domination. When I began in ’94 we still sold tapes, and I was actually still buying tapes, if the price was right. Cassette was my primary physical product for another year, before I began the slow (still incomplete) process of re-buying all my tapes on CD.
For example, Wolfsbane’s first album. Still don’t have that on CD, very hard to find in this part of the world.
My CD collection increased approximately by 50 times, over my years there. I love physical product!
I like to keep them in good shape, and for that reason, I’m glad about the improved quality of digital media and players these days compared to back then. I don’t have to haul my discs around with me anymore when I’m heading to the cottage. I used to pack 15, 20 discs for variety. Now I just load up a 64 gig flash drive, and throw it in the car. When I get to the cottage I have my mp3 player at the ready. I don’t have to worry about breaking the cases, scratching the discs, or anything.
You know something? When I was a really young fella, like 13 or 14, we used to go to the cottage for 2 weeks at a time in the summer. When you’re 13, you get bored pretty easily at the cottage, so I began bringing my entire tape collection, my record collection, and my turntable with me. Incredible! Granted my collection wasn’t big, it was two cases of tapes and about 5 records, but still. Today, flash drive, MP3 player. Done.
But I’ll always keep my physical product, and at home I will listen to nothing else. I think my buddy Marko Fox at 107.5 Dave FM said it very well:
Technology is my mistress as well…and I love her…but I still must be surrounded by records, tapes and CDs for my soul to survive.
That’s it right there.
I’ve posted this video once before, but I don’t care, it rocks.
Normally I wouldn’t post something so self-glorifying, but I won’t edit a word out of any of my guest shots. This one comes from the infamous Sausagefester, ex-record store alumnus, and music connoisseur, Meat. He sent this to me by surprise this afternoon, so I had to post it. Enjoy.
RECORD STORE TALES PART 78: Meat on LeBrain
Today is Lebrain’s 40th birthday. Today seems like a good day to give you all my thoughts on the man…the myth…the legend…Michael Ladano.
I would have first met Mr. Ladano in I believe late 1998 or early 1999. I was working at a record store and really didn’t know anyone at other locations. Since there was a fair amount of phone activity between different stores, it was inevitable that our paths would cross. I kept hearing about the manager of another store that was something of a music aficionado, and the biggest Kiss fan in town. Considering myself of the same ilk, and a long-time Kiss fan myself, I was looking forward to the inevitable. I don’t remember the first conversation we had honestly, it was probably some sort of inquiry about an Anita Baker stock transfer , but anyways, I do remember the first time we talked about Kiss. I remember his genuine enthusiasm hearing that I had seen Kiss on the last tour with makeup (Creatures of the Night) and the first tour without makeup (Lick it Up). He proceeded to tell me that Ace Frehley was not actually in the makeup on the first aforementioned tour (something I already knew) and a bunch of other obscure Kiss facts. Needless to say we immediately hit it off. We worked together only once at his location. He actually has a better memory of that one shift (Meat’s memory is randomly hazy…gee I wonder why) but I do remember that the shift literally seemed to go faster than any shift I had worked previously.
[LeBRAIN’S NOTE: I do remember that night very well. I remember driving Meat home, talking about Metallica’s medley of Mercyful Fate tunes. As it happens, I had that tape in the car, so we rocked it!]
I am lucky to know many guys who are self-proclaimed and ordained-by-others as music experts. The mighty Tom has been mentioned in this blog before. Others include Scottie Geffros…Scott Hunter and more. Michael Ladano trumps them all in both knowledge and actual music collection. No one loves music more than LeBrain. I certainly disagree with a lot of music that Ladano loves, and have been very vocal to him about that, but I guess that’s just part and parcel with being “LeBrain”. But most importantly, Michael Ladano’s greatest trait is simply being himself. If there is someone who is more truly sincere and kind, I have not met them. No one treated complete strangers better during his record store days than Mike Ladano. No one loves his wife or significant other more than Mike Ladano. The truth is everyone likes Ladano. As a matter of fact, there are only a very, very select few that I know that don’t like him. Literally a few select people that all hang together and work together. Not-coincidentally these people are sincerely some of the worst people I have ever encountered in my life. Truly lacking character, substance and kindness of any sort, they should be ashamed of themselves. It says something that only the worst people in the Tri-Cities are the select few that don’t like him.
I really enjoy this blog Mike and try to read every entry. Even old Meatdogs can learn new tricks, and I appreciate reading and learning about musical artists, bands and albums that I thought I already knew everything about. Your love of music is infectious and impressive, but not as impressive as Mike the friend, the person and the husband. Is this blog-entry just alot of over-blown Maudlin? Of course it is. If anyone I know deserves Maudlin, its Sir Michael Ladano. Remember, when the rest of you are sleeping comfortably at night…LeBrain is rolling in his sleep anticipating the upcoming Kiss and Darkness albums. You gotta love the guy.
If you think back to the late 90’s, the hype surrounding Kiss was enormous. They’d just completed their successful reunion tour to rave reviews, what was left but an album?
I was excited too, but not as excited as “Kiss Man”….
I don’t remember his name and I never heard from him again, so heartbroken was he. My staff had a habit of telling annoying customers, “Hey, if you really want to talk about Kiss (or insert-band-name-here) then you should call back and talk to this guy Mike. He loves Kiss.”
One time, they told a lady I was interested in buying her original Whitesnake cover art painting. Which I wasn’t. Anyway, back to Kiss.
This guy had come in talking about Kiss with somebody, and they told him to call me. So he did. With two of my bosses standing in front of me, I blindly anwered the phone. To the best of my recollection, this was the conversation. Imagine two of my bosses standing in front me alternating between glances and glares.
Kiss Man: Hi, is this Mike?
Mike: Yes, speaking.
Kiss Man: Oh hi, I was speaking with (insert whoever’s name it was) a couple days ago, and they told me you were a massive Kiss fan?
Mike: Yes, yes I am…
Kiss Man: Like really big Kiss fan? Like they said you have the dolls.
Mike: Yes…I do have some action figures… (the bosses both looking at me now)
Kiss Man: Are they the vintage ones?
Mike: Uh, pardon?
Kiss Man: Are they the vintage ones from the 1970’s.
Mike: Oh, no. They’re just the MacFarlanes.
Kiss Man: Cool, still. So do you know anything about the new Kiss album coming out called Psycho-Circus?
Mike: (thinking he was now asking when it was out, how much we’ll be selling it for, etc) Well, it’s out in a couple weeks, and there’s some kind of special edition cover, and we’ll be trying to get that one in.
Kiss Man: So how many times did you see them live?
Mike: Uhh, just once…I don’t really go to a lot of concerts…
Kiss Man: Just once? Like on this tour?
Mike: No…just once. I wanted to see them on the Revenge tour though.
Kiss Man: Have you heard the new single, “Psycho Circus”?
Mike: No, I haven’t yet.
Kiss Man: On Q107? No?
Mike: No, I…
Kiss Man: Wow, and they said you were a big Kiss fan.
That one hurt, admittedly.
I eventually brought the conversation to a close, got shit for taking a “personal” call, explained to my bosses that I really didn’t have a clue who that was, and then later interrogated the staff to find up who set me up with the Space Ace.
When I found out, they were disappointed that the conversation didn’t go well, as if they were trying to set with up with a new buddy. “He’s probably really sad now,” they said.
“Yeah. He’s probably never going to come back into the store again, because of you,” they helpfully added.
Yeah, well. It was a lose-lose situation and I definitely lost that time!
mikeladano.com 