There were some discs thatΒ we were never short of. Β We always had them.Β Cheap.Β Add your staff discount to that, and you could get a lot of stuff dirt cheap. Β But the discs themselves were so common, they were always in stock. Β Therefore they never were a priority for meΒ at the time.Β Soundtracks and compilations were a great example of this.Β Last Action Hero, Super Mario Bros, these could be had for super cheap, any time, and they all contained exclusive music by cool bands like Megadeth, Anthrax, Extreme, and so on.
One disc that I never picked up before was the soundtrack to a bad horror movie called Shocker, by Wes Craven. Β The soundtrack had numerous stars on it β members of Kiss, Motley Crue, Alice Cooper, Whitesnake, Van Halen, and more. Β The title song was a Paul Stanley rocker performed by Paul and Desmond Child in an all-star band called The Dudes of Wrath, and it wasnβt a bad song. Β There was also another Paul tune on here called βSword and Stoneβ, recorded by a band called Bonfire.
(Now, here’s the interesting thing about “Shocker”, the song.Β Desmond Child wrote the guitar lick, a very Platinum Blonde-esque partΒ that is almost identical to the one in a Kiss song released at the same time, called “King of Hearts”.Β And who wrote that?Β Paul and Desmond Child.Β It’s the same freakin’ thing.)
Anyway, long story short:Β I never pulled the trigger while I was at the store. Β Iβm still today in the process of replacing my cassettes on CD, and this is one. Β The CD was just too common, it was always in stock and I always had better things to spend my money on. Β I could have got it for $4 at any point over the years. Β I should have.
Look at this one, thatΒ I paid $12 for from Amazon Marketplaces.Β The spine is cut as a promo.Β The front is scuffed.Β The CD hasΒ some scratches on it.Β This is all stuff that wouldn’t have happened in my store.Β Even if it was a cut promo, every case was replaced if not already like new.Β Not to mention I had complete control to be picky about quality before I bought.Β Not to mention that in the past, I had numerous chances to getΒ Shocker uncut.Β Now, unfortunately, the disc is less common.
In any business you have to get yourself noticed.Β You have to make yourself known to the people.Β You see some places like restaurants and music stores with small speakers outside, playing music, letting people know, βHey, weβre open!β
We attempted the same thing,Β but less successfully…I hated that damned speaker.
Somewhere we dug up the biggest oldest speaker from the 1970βs.Β It was ancient, massive, and weighed a ton.Β It alsoΒ sounded like garbage, butΒ was hooked up to a 5 disc changer playing the top 40. Β That part was OK, because it was always better for me to have top 40 playing outside, not inside!
We all hated the speaker.Β It was heavy as hell so some people had trouble putting it in and out each day. Β But that was only one issue.Β We also had the other problems:
βThat speaker is too damn loud! Β Turn it down or turn it off!β Β Weβd get this complaint from other tenants in the plaza. Β
We had also our fine neighbors, restaraunts and pawn shops and so on, complain about the lack of variety.Β Could we please hear something other than Big Shiny Tunes this week?Β Stuff like that.
Just like ourΒ sidewalk sign, it took up half the sidewalk, meaning people would occasionally walk headlong right into it.
βHey, whatβs that song you were just playing outside?βΒ Not a bad reaction, getting people to buy a CD that we were playing. Β Problem:Β I couldnβt hear the outside music.Β So Iβd have to take a look at what discs were in the player and take a guess.Β And when it’s all top 40 crap that sounds the same, well, that could take a while!
I hated polluting the quiet mornings with Much Dance, I just wished one day somebody would have stolen that damned speaker.Β Hah, fat chance.Β Not only was it huge but who the hell would have wanted it?
RECORD STORE TALES PART 89: Β Prank 3.0 – The Case of the Disappearing Mars Bar
Rewind to 1994.
It was just one store, and just the three of us:Β Trevor, myself, and the owner.Β We had an awesome comraderie back then, and it was based both on mutual respect and humour.Β At the time I doubt there would have been a better more knowledgeable staff at any store in townΒ than us three.
But we joked around a lot.Β It wasn’t beyond us to “tag” another one with a magnetic security tag somewhere on their clothing, setting off alarms everywhere.Β It was all in good fun.
I showed up for work one night with a small bag, just a soda and a Mars bar inside.Β I always came in early to check out what was newly arrived.Β As I unpacked, my boss looked at my sorry excuse for a dinner and admonished me.Β Always health conscious, he asked me about the Mars bar and if I knew how much sugar that was and so on.Β “How can you eat this crap?” he finished.Β I chuckled; I was 22Β and hadn’t given it any thought.Β He was mostly just ribbing me anyway.
Meanwhile, the boss was going through the cash register to decide what we needed in terms of small change.Β Β Then, he sent me to the bank to do the change run, before he packed it in for the day.Β When I returned with the change, he left me with instructions for the evening and departed.Β I went about my business picking out discs to listen to that night.Β (Based on the period I calculate with 97.8% certainty that one of those titles would have been Superunknown by Soundgarden, Balls to Picasso by Bruce Dickinson, or Jar of Flies by Alice in Chains.)
It was a slow night, and a couple hours later I had the munchies.Β My Mars bar…it was gone!
I looked everywhere for it.Β It could have fallen behind the counter.Β Or maye I left it on top of a pile of discs?Β No luck.Β It didn’t turn up.Β I know I brought it because I talked about it with…with my boss!
I had fallen victim to the classic “Steal the Snacks” game.Β It wouldn’t be the last, and it’s a game I took to playing myself.Β I love the way he blindsided me with the health talk on the Mars bar.Β I didn’t even see it coming!
October.Β These two shady, shady guys came in looking for the new βLimp Daddyβ (Limp Bizkit). Β After buying βLimp Daddyβ they told me they had a van full of stereo equipment, good prices, did I want to buy anything? Β No thanks!Β Iβd seen guys like this around before, selling stolen speakers and car decks.
They came back later in the day to buy more stuff, in total they dropped about $200 in a day. Β They were just buying whatever crap was on the charts that they had heard. Β They were buying discs like they didnβt care.Β Good for sales, yes, but I had this vibe that they would be back.
Sure enough a couple weeks later they were back to return the discs they bought.Β They had been opened and played.
βI used my bossβ money to buy these, and he doesnβt want them, so I need my money back.β
Now, this wasnβt the most unique reason Iβd heard for returning discs, Iβve heard much more original reasons over the years.Β (βI got five of these for my birthday so I need to return all of themβ, βI found thisβ, βIβm not allowed to have thisβ)Β Β Β But I guess this guyβs boss was pissed about him spending the money on discs. Β Maybe he should have thought of that before he spent his bossβ money.
And knowing that this guy sold stolen car stereo equipment for a living, Iβd hate to meet his boss.
I explained our return policy and told him that once heβs opened the wrapper and kept it for two weeks there was nothing I could do for him besides buy it back used, at a greatly reduced cost.
βCanβt you just re-seal it and sell it again?β he asked.
βNo, because itβs not new anymore. Β Itβs used.β
βWell then what are all those sealed discs I see behind you there?β he persisted.
βThose are brand new, I canβt just seal up a disc and sell it for $16 man!β
βOh man, my boss is going to kill me. Β You have to do something for me,β he moaned.
βI wish I could, but really after this much timeβ¦I mean my boss would kill me too.β
βYou have to give me the money back. Β Iβm not leaving until I get it,β he threatened. Β I never did too well with threats at work.Β I donβt like people getting my back up against the wall. Β It doesnβt work with me.Β Threatening me was the one way to make sure I donβt give you what you wanted.Β Any chance of him getting even a dime out of me just ended.
βWell, I guess if you want to stay, weβre open βtil 9. Β Youβre going to have to move though. Β I have other customers that need to pay.β
He really, really didnβt like that. Β His buddy stood silent behind him laughing as he continued to make a nuisance of himself.
βYeah?Β You want me to move? Β Iβm not moving.Β Iβm standing right here until you give me my money.β
βWell, youβre going to have to move when people want to pay, just telling you right now. Β This is a business not a hangout,β I said.
βYeah?Β This is a business eh? Β Do you like it when I push these buttons? Β Or how about this, do you like when I play with your computer?βΒ He reached over the counter and started hammering keys on my keyboard, and buttons on our VISA machine. Β The VISA machine beeped in protest as he continued to hit buttons, and windows began popping up on my computer screen.
βIf you donβt leave right now, Iβm going to have to call the cops.β
βYeah?Β Youβd like that wouldnβt you? Β Go ahead and call them. Β Go ahead.βΒ He grabbed my phone.Β βCall them. Β Go ahead.β
βI just did,β I said as I hit the panic button.
Well next thing you know, him and his buddy were out the door without another word. Β They bailed and they bailed fast.Β The cops called to confirm the emergency and I told them that the two trouble makers had left. Β They told me to call back if I had trouble with them again. Β (Iβm sure they would have been interested in the stereo equipment in their van!)
Of course after a confrontation like that, you worry about the person returning. Β My buddy Shane Schedler, who is about 7 feet tall and 250 lbs, came in later that night and I told him how my day had gone. Β I told him about the two dudes in the van and how I had to call the cops on them.
βDo you want me to stay until you close? Β I donβt mind you know,β Shane said. Β It was getting close to closing time anyway.
βYeah!Β That would be fine, I appreciate that man. Β They wouldnβt mess with a guy your size.β
Shane laughed.Β Iβm sure he knew that.
A week later I did see the guys again, in the parking lot. Β Incredibly, they apologized for their behaviour. Β That part was a first!
The Great Change happened around the turn of the millennium.
Prior to that, CD sales were fast and furious. DVD sales had begun to replace VHS sales. We still carried blank cassette tapes. Not too many people were downloading music. Most people werenβt even connected to the internet yet.Β I still had friends who would come over to use it, andΒ I only got it inΒ mid Β ’98.
ThenΒ I noticed a change. Cassette sales dwindled while requests for blank CDβs increased. Initially we resisted carrying blank CDβs. We thought by doing so, we would be unintentionally killing a CD sale. Eventually we began carrying blank discs, when they started dropping in price.Β They, they took off.Β We started hearing about Napster. And Metallica. Metallica fans began selling off their discs.
I remember one guying coming in with a great selection of Metallica discs. All the albums, plus the Live Sh*t box set.
βWow, this is a great Metallica collection you have here,β I commented as I went through the discs.
βThanks. Iβm selling them because of that fucking asshole Lars. I ripped them all to my computer and now he can go fuck himself.β
Iβll never forget that because at first I felt like, βWell, that doesnβt really do anything to Lars, you already paid for the discs and gave him your money,β but I guess it was the principle of the thing. People were really pissed off. And that represented a huge change.Β People always bitched about CD prices.Β $24 for a regularly priced disc, that’s a lot of money.Β I used to get two albums for that money in 1986. There’d never been a satisfactory answer as to why a kid had to pay $24.99 for the new Judas Priest in 1998.Β And believe me, it wasn’t the stores ripping off the kids.Β The margin we made on new CDs could barely be called profit.
Over the next five years, I watched CD prices and sales drop, while we were forced to diversify in order to stay alive. We had already been carrying DVDβs. We started carrying McFarlane dolls.Β They were cool, but a lot of them were really limited.Β For example, for Kiss, we only got one Eric Carr, andΒ two Aces.Β People would want the whole set, but all you’d have left was Paul and Gene.
Then bobble-heads cameΒ (which I hate, I absolutely hate bobble-heads). Then Osbournes family toys.Β Trivia games. Simpsons toys. Clocks. Posters. Books.Β Hats. CD wallets with a Linkin Park logo on them.Β Β Anything we could make a reasonable buck on, even if it was only marginally related to what we did, like the Simpsons toys. (We carried DVDβs, so Simpsons was marginally related.) Then weβd knock down whatever wasnβt selling to clearance prices, and try something else.
The only tangent that was really successful was Xbox and Playstation games. We had so many requests, and physically a game is identical to a CD or DVD, so games were a no brainer.Β People asked for them all the time. Β We had to educate ourselves from the ground up on game pricing and we jerry-rigged a way in our computer system to inventory them. However to me, the scent of decay was in the air. Because downloading had killed such a huge chunk of our music sales, the stores were nothing like the way I remembered.
Working in a store selling video games and bobble-heads wasn’t the dream jobΒ that started me on this path.Β I was always there for one reason:Β the music!
One time,Β we almost got sued for wrecking some guy’s golden shirt.
We had this annoying sidewalk sign.Β Everybody hated it.Β When the wind caught hold of it, it would always fall over, if not go for a short jog.Β Some days I didn’t bother putting it out, I hated it so much.
I never hated it more, however, than the day that idiot in the golden shirt walked past.Β Our sign took up half the sidewalk (another reason I hated it) and this idiot wasn’t looking where he was going and sideswiped it.Β I knew right away because I heard the sign crash.Β I looked outside and I saw this guy stumbling next to the downed sidewalk sign.
“Oh shit.” I concluded.
One of the girls immediately ran out to see if the guy was OK.Β Yeah, he was fine.Β Not a scratch.Β But his golden shirt was torn!Β Oh my God!
He threatened to sue!Β He wanted the owners name and contact information!Β We provided the requested data.
“You’re going to get a call from my lawyer about this, you wait and see,” said Captain Gold Shirt.
Pffftr.Β Gold shirt?Β Who do you think you are, James T. Kirk or something?
My buddy Statham is back with another guest shot.Β This guy has haunted record stores nation wide.Β He’s had a lot of experiences, selling used discs, and here’s his perspective in the context of Record Store Tales….
LeBrain & Statham, 15 years ago
RECORD STORE TALES Part 85: Β Selling,Β by Statham
I couldn’t tell you how Mike manages his record collection, though I have a guess. Allow me this imagining: Mike holds on to most of what he buys, because his is a collection built on deliberation, patient searching and care.Β He only pulls the trigger when he’s getting exactly what he wants.Β Of course, just about everything he owns is a Special or Limited Edition in some way. I picture him as more of a curator in the Living Library Of Rawk. (Hey Mike, am I close?) [LeBrain:Β Dead on.]
My own collection, by comparison to the above supposition, is completely scattershot. Finding/buying and selling CDs are fairly equal parts of the hobby, for me. Sure, I have a lot of things that I’ve found over the years that I will never sell. Some just have good monetary value (while also being something I want to own), some are out of print or from very limited print-runs. Some are autographed. I have complete (or nearly complete) collections of artists I love, and I’ll never break those up. Some are artists that were new to me at the time, and were great discoveries that have stayed with me since. I have discs that I bought, or was given, that have sentimental reasons for staying in the collection, as I associate people and places with albums/songs. Anyway, I call all of these the Anchors, the ones that have followed me everywhere.
But there is another, majority portion of the pile of CDs which I consider to be fluid. Unless I’m filling in gaps in a collection, many (if not most) of the CDs I buy are on speculation. I’m always wondering what things sound like, trying new artists out. Now, added up over the years, these purchases have spanned almost every genre. I’ve heard a lot of music. I remember that C’Dement on Ste-Catherines in Montreal had a huge 2-section sale bin by the front door where the constantly-rotating stock of CDs were priced from $0.99 to a maximum $5.99. I could load up on music, sometimes getting as many as ten discs for the price of one new release. I REALLY liked that. Such a great way to expand my horizons. Sadly, that place, like so many I used to haunt, is no longer there.
There are lots of reasons I sell discs. I have moved around quite a bit, so I sometimes unload CDs in bulk just to avoid having to lug them (and to get funds to help with the move). Clearly, not many of these are Anchor CDs. Sometimes I buy a disc because I like a song I heard, and the rest of the disc doesn’t cut it (and then I eventually tire of the song I liked), so out it goes. Sometimes people give me discs, thinking I’ll like it, and… well, no. And sometimes I think I’ll like a CD, but it turns out that it just sucks. That happens more than it should.
ANYWAY. How does any of this relate to LeBrain? Easy, I sold him a lot of CDs over the years that I dealt with him at his store. I always looked for him. He knew the score. Let me tell you, I’ve been “helped” by others (at his store, sure, and in many, many other shops across this great land of ours), and a lot of them just didn’t get it. Most often, I’d get someone who would offer me far less than things were worth, knowing they could then sell it for more and thus turn a profit. They could only hope I was an idiot. I am not. What these people failed to realize was that I spent a lot of time in record shops, and knew generally what things were worth or were priced at currently. This is especially true now that we have the wonders of the internets. Often was the time I’d hear what they offered, know it for the piss-take it was, and refuse. I’d just pack up my CDs and go.
Other times, there’d be a teenager behind the counter. And, all deference to them and their raging hormones (surely some of them must know what they’re doing), most just didn’t know what I was giving them. Honestly, if it wasn’t Top 40 or mainstream, they had no idea. Their offers were always laughable, and I should mention that I generally consider my expectations to be fair. One time, while they went through what I’d brought in, I was browsing the shelves and asked for Dead Kennedys. I was jonesing for it, and thinking I’d get it on trade. The kid looked me right in the face and honestly asked “Who?” Man, I wept for the future, that day. So as a rule, until they’re done bursting their spots, I tend to stay away from selling CDs to the youngsters.
But Mike was different. Sure, over time, we built up a rapport. But even the first few times I brought in a shoe box of discs for trade, he was fair and knowledgeable. He’d pick up this or that disc and have a comment about it, or a band somehow related to it. He never once tried to undercut me with less than what something was worth. Mike was unafraid to comment on what I had, too, often in humourous ways. I’ve already told these pages about the Jewel Incident, and the Zeppelin Incredulousness. Such was Mike’s way. Often, with other places and people, I felt I had to watch as they went through each disc and explain what it was. I could spot looks of indifference and/or confusion from across the room. But I knew I could trust Mike to competently sort through the pile on his own (thus freeing me up to browse for new-to-me things while he worked).
Mike respected, too, that I was up for trying new music, and always had a helpful tip or suggestion on what to try next. I hardly ever took the cash (unless I really needed it) when I brought stuff to Mike. I took store trade instead. Not only did I get more for my stuff that way, but I’d get some new music and happily be on my way… until the next time, when we’d do it all over again.
I’d left town eventually, but even then I would mail a box to Mike for trade or cash from his store rather than deal with the nits in the shops where I was currently living. And at some point, I heard that Mike had left the store and moved on to another, unrelated job. It was a loss for them, a gain for whomever got him next. And too bad, as I understand it, that the next job wasn’t putting his music knowledge to work. The man’s an encyclopedia.
With the exception of one fellow out West whose knowledge and ability I trust as on par, I have rarely met a record store employee with Mike’s capabilities and fairness. My collection has gained many Anchors, and is miles (and even Miles…Davis that is) better for having dealt with him.
RECORD STORE TALESΒ Part 84: Carpet Cleaning in December
We used to get our carpets steam cleaned twice a year, once in the summer and once in the winter.Β The winter one was the biggest waste of money you can wipe muddy boots on.
The very last one that I was there for, 2005, was memorable. To make it even more fun, earlier in the day as he was leaving the store, my boss said, “Do good sales or you’re both dead.” Total morale boost!
I had to stay late to watch the store while the cleaners were doing their business, and lock up after them.Β They usually took an hour, so that’s not too bad.Β What sucks more is the day after.Β Because you have to move everything off the carpets for the cleaners, you have to come in super early the next morning to put it all back.
So, 8 am, December.Β It was starting to snow. I entered the store.
1. Everything is wet.Β Condensation on the windows means I had to remake a whole bunch of paper signs. (We had no lamination device.)
2. The carpets will probably remain wet for most of the week.
3. The very first customer of the day tracked in muddy snow on his boots.
4. It’s STUPID!
By the end of the day, the carpets looked the same as they did before! At least we must have done good sales, because I’m still alive.
This topic was suggested by Mr. Craig Fee of 107.5 Dave FM.Β He wanted to know about discounts in the record store days.Β Β So here goes!
RECORD STORE TALES PART 83: Β Discounts
Yeah yeah, I know I know.Β I know the story.Β You’re a DJ.Β Or, the owner usually gives you a discount.Β Or, the “other guy” usually haggles with you.Β Or, you’re senior and you get a discount at McDonalds.Β Blah blah blah blah.
So we kind of had this set deal in place, a frequent buyer card.Β Buy “x” get 1 free within certain parameters.Β It actually worked out to be a really good deal, if you bought low and redeemed high.Β However people usually wanted a discount instead of that.Β (Occassionally, a guy would DEMAND!!!Β a certain discount not realizing that our card was a better deal.)
I always thought it was funny when people would say, “I’m buying two.Β What kind of discount can I get?”Β Two?
You’d get people who say, “The case is cracked.Β Do I get a discount?”
No, but I’ll put it in a brand new case for you.Β Just like new now.
“You can’t give me a discount? I’d prefer that.”
No, all it needs is a new case, dumbass!
Another classic:Β “Hey.Β No tax on these today, right?”Β Well, shit.Β Maybe you should talk to Mr. Harper and Mr. McGuinty about forfeiting their cut of my sale because that one I can’t even override.
It was really, really rare that I wouldΒ budge on prices.Β Β In the early days the rules were very strict on that.Β Later on they got a little more lax, but sometimes you could placate a customer by stamping their card a few extra times.Β If you redeemed your card for the max value, each stamp worked out to be worth a buck.
One thing that 50% of customers never figured out:Β You won’t get a discount by being annoying as fuck.Β That means not calling me “buddy”, “bud”, and especiallyΒ “chief”.Β And if you make me run around the store to fetchΒ 25 fucking discs before you pick 3 of them, no, you ain’t getting a discount!
The first time a record store person had any impact on me was actually well after high school.Β Until then, I never spent much time interacting with them.Β I always knew how to find what I wanted, and I never special-ordered anything because the stuff I wanted, they couldn’t get anyway.Β I had to order my rare albums from magazines.
In 1990, Peter and I got heavily into Faith No More.Β Peter got Introduce Yourself before I did, but I found We Care A Lot first.Β I found it at Sam The Record Man, generally considered the best store in town at the time.Β Angel Dust had just came out on CD, but I hadn’t got it yet.Β We Care A Lot was a rarity; therefore a priority in my spending budget.
It was there, on cassette.Β $14.99.Β Not cheap.
Al King was behind the counter.Β Al King was the undisputed music guru in town.Β Undisputed.Β I strived to be what he represented.Β Heck he even had a feature spot on a weekly local TV program — The Metal Mike Show — whichΒ I watched many times.
“Do you have the new Faith No More yet?” Al asked me as heΒ took the security tag off my purchase.
“No, not yet.Β I saw this and I had to get it because I’ve never seen it before,” I answered.
“The new one is…pretty different.Β Have you heard Mr. Bungle?” he inquired.
Al was engaging me.Β He had just seen Bungle live.Β He liked Bungle, but the new Faith No More was still growing on him.Β He explained to me that you could really hear the Bungle influece on it.Β The next time I came in, he told me he had just seen Faith No More.Β He told me everything about the show.
Years later, things cycle around, and I found myself in Al’s shoes.Β Kids were coming up to me and asking my opinion on things.Β I tried my best to be honest and treat them with respect.Β I had my bad days — we all do — but I certainly didn’t want to recommend music that I didn’t think was any good.
When I saw a young guy or girl come in buying Kiss, that was an instant obvious coversation starter.Β Tall One and Short One, who I talked about several chapters ago, started getting into bands like Kiss and Oasis, so I tried to steer them into the albums I was into.
I made a lot of friends that way.Β Shane Schedler, who I’ve talked about twiceΒ before was one guy who trusted my opinion implicity.Β There was another guy, Italian Tony, who always wanted to know what I was into.Β I sold him Slash Puppet that way,Β I knew he would be into that band.Β And then there’s my buddy Statham.Β Some found me on Facebook, some I just run into randomly.
Of course I had just as many failures.Β Sometimes you expect someone to be into a new Maiden album just because they liked the old Maiden, for example.Β Then they don’t trust you anymore.
I don’t think I appreciated my position back then.Β I don’t think I saw myself as Al King.Β I think I saw myself as still trying but not quite succeeding at being that guy.Β It’s only now that I talk to people and get it.Β Somebody will say to me, “You told me to buy this album, and I did, and it’s in my top ten of all time now.”Β That’s a cool feeling.Β I wish I appreciated it back then.
The truth is, it was a job just like any other.Β You were a business and businesses were supposed to make money.Β Stores have to be cleaned, books balance, shelves stocked.Β Sometimes it felt like conversation was keeping you fromΒ your job.Β And spend too much time with a single customer, and you got dirty looks from people with the authority to give you dirty looks.
I appreciate now though, that conversation was the job.Β Conversations that I don’t even remember have turned out to have huge impacts on people’s musical lives.Β Al King was a trusted musical guru to me.Β It’s weird to think that I might be that to other people.Β Β But if that truly is the case, I have to say thanks, because that’s all I ever really wanted anyway.
mikeladano.com 