RSTs Mk II: Getting More Tale

#347: Hortons (featuring Mrs. LeBrain)

She’s back with another guest shot!  Enjoy this two-fer Tale.

RECORD STORE TALES Mk II: Getting More Tale
#347: Hortons

IMG_20141117_173614LeBRAIN’S TAKE:

Here’s one thing I never understood, either in the Record Store days or today:  People who are obsessed with Tim Hortons coffee.  I’m married to one and I still don’t get it.

I worked with people who never showed up at a shift without their double double in hand.  I worked with others who had to do a daily Tim’s run.  I served customers who left their empty cups on our shelves, or at the front counter.    That was always a favourite of mine, and it’s not unique.  I’ve shopped at many stores, finding the brown empty cups sitting there on shelves.  Somebody else’s problem, right?

I fail to understand the obsession. Jen has to have one (large decaf with three cream and one sweetener) every single day.  There was an old urban myth (an untrue one) that Tim’s put nicotine in their coffee to keep you hooked.  The only reason that myth has such long life is that Horton’s Addiction (HA) is so prevalent in Canadian society.

Now that Burger King, an American company, has bought out Tim’s, I fear for our friends south of the border.

I see a future littered with brown cups.  I envision our American friends unwittingly becoming addicted to Hortons’ secret brew.  I picture, somewhere in the US, a record store manager not unlike my younger self, pulling empty brown cups from their shelves as I once did.

Just say no to Tim’s.  Make your own coffee at home.  Hell, just drink water!  Don’t fall into the trap of Horton’s Addiction, an affliction for which there is no known cure.

IMG_20141214_171037_editMRS. LeBRAIN’S REBUTTAL

50 years ago, one of the greatest defensemen in NHL history decided to expand his horizons, and open a coffee & doughnut [his spelling] empire.  That man’s name was Tim Horton, and he made a damn good cup of coffee.

One thing that is very special about “Timmie’s” (as we call it) is its consistency.  Your coffee in Kitchener Ontario will come out exactly the same as your coffee in Kitchener BC.

Every coffee drinker has their ideal cup of coffee, and sometimes it takes years to find that combination of cream and sugar that is right for you.  When you do find it, Tim Hortons has dispensing equipment designed to maintain that perfect coffee for you, no matter what size you order it or where you order it from.  (The only exception to this rule is Splenda sweetener which is dispensed by hand from packets.)  Rival chains such as Starbucks make the customer add their cream and sugar themselves, creating human inconsistencies.

I love the texture of the cream; the feeling inside takes me to a special place.  It also doesn’t hurt that they use 18% cream, a treat in itself.

Contrary to the way LeBrain makes it appear, I really do like all kinds of coffee.  My Keurig machine is well used in the LeBrain household, but Tim Hortons is the champion, and whenever possible that brown cup will be in my happy hands.

Even LeBrain himself knows that if he ever does something to get him in shit, a five minute trip to the drive-through can fix the situation!

The two greatest things on this planet are hockey and coffee.  There was a man who brought those two worlds together, and his name was Tim Horton.

#346: NO SOLICITORS!

RECORD STORE TALES MkII: Getting More Tale
#346: NO SOLICITORS!

Yesterday and today, if there’s one thing that drives me nuts, it’s people trying to sell us something. You know the feeling: You answer the phone, not looking or not recognizing the number, only to be asked if you want to hire a shady “duct cleaning” service that has a loose grasp of the English language.

Here are some of the methods we have used and things we have said to dissuade duct cleaning companies from calling us:

1. “Have you met Jesus?” – works every single time.
2. “Oh I’m sorry, we don’t own any ducks.” – gets them a little confused.
3. Speak back to them in French only. “Où est la poutine?”
4. I also enjoy asking them to help me solve the Tedious Tiresome Trivia question on 105.7 Dave FM.

Or, just hang up. That works too. The method you choose may depend on how irritated you are.

Reminding them that you are on the “Do Not Call” registry won’t help you.  Many of these scam artists are calling from overseas, according to the CBC.

At the Record Store, we had to put up one of those “NO SOLICITORS” signs but I don’t know why since every solicitor ignored it. Never once in my time at the store did I see someone come in trying to sell me shit, look at the sign, turn around and leave. Never once.  Are you surprised?

People around student age would occasionally pop in with boxes full of junk, and a big smile on their faces. They’d usually come in pairs. “Have we got some deals for you here!” they would say open entering, or something like that. They didn’t much like it when I would ignore their sales pitch and try to sell them some CDs instead. “I have a better deal for you,” I might have said. “New Cher album for $12. Do you believe in life after love? I’m the only one in this store who’s going to do any selling to anyone.”

I witnessed one guy wielding his box of junk playing chicken with an automobile in our parking lot, trying to get him to stop. He stood in the middle of his lane with his box, and moved to the right and left so the car couldn’t swerve around him. Then he went up to the driver’s window with his box. Needless to say, the driver bought nothing from that idiot.

From boxes of junk, to golf memberships, to Jehova’s Witness fliers, I have had just about everything shoved in my face at the Record Store. It was irritating, but not nearly so much as the daily phone calls from duct cleaners.

What is your favourite method for dealing with solicitors? Share in the comments.

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#345: Tyler and LeBrain episode 4 – Return of the Monster Truck

MEAT TRUCK

RECORD STORE TALES Mk II: Getting More Tale
#343: Tyler and LeBrain featuring Seb episode 4 – Return of the Monster Truck

This time we take on leather vests, the 90’s, Katy Perry, best singers ever…and Uncle Meat.

#344: Childhood Recording Sessions

IMG_20141125_180800

RECORD STORE TALES Mk II: Getting More Tale
#344: Childhood Recording Sessions

When we were kids in the 1980’s, pre-internet, pre-downloading, the only avenue we had to share music with each other was taping.  If a friend had an album you wanted, you could try to record it.  For example my next door neighbor George had all the Kiss albums, on LP.  All he was missing was The Elder.  What Kiss albums I didn’t own myself (which was most of them) I gradually taped one by one from George.  I’d write down the song titles and make a cassette cover.  When George wrote down the songs, I couldn’t always read them.  When he did get The Elder in ’86, he made a copy for me.  For a little while, I thought Kiss had a song on it called “Escape from the Ish”.

One Sunday afternoon in ’85 I went over to his place with a 60 minute tape, intending to record Unmasked.  George dusted off the LP, dropped the needle and hit “record”.  At the same time, he also decided to play bass along to the whole album.  Somehow, his bass bled through to the tape recorder.

I didn’t find an original copy of Unmasked for two more years.  Until that time, all I had to listen to was my taped copy, complete with George’s bass “overdubbed” on top of Gene’s!  If I think back and remember really hard, I can still hear in my mind how George kept playing through the song fade outs!

Other recording sessions were far more elaborate.  When George acquired Kiss’ Animalize Live Uncensored on VHS tape, he brought it over along with his own VCR, so we could dub a copy, VCR to VCR.  On other occasions I would bring our VCR over to my best friend Bob’s place, and record there.  My parents hated it when I disconnected the VCR!  My dad always seemed to fear we’d never get it hooked up properly again!  Or that we’d lose the controller, or worse, break it.  But then, if we were recording at my house, my dad would always walk in and mock the bands.  “What’s wrong with that man?” my dad said of Bruce Dickinson.  “He keeps on screaming as if he’s in terrible pain!”

Copying music improved greatly in the 1990’s.  The durability of the blank tapes improved, and dubbing from CD was infinitely better than recording tape to tape.  Because of the improvements in quality, the cassettes we dubbed in the 90’s are still playable.  Still, there is no comparison in sound to a CD.  Finally in 2001, I purchased my first CD burner, enabling me to create the best possible sounding copies of music.

None of those improvements in technology, nor the advent of the CD-R, swayed me from owning an original CD or LP.  I may have had a burned copy of the Sultans of Ping F.C., but there’s nothing better than an original.  Somebody could send me a CD rip of some amazing rare bonus tracks by bands I like, which is great…but not as great as owning the original.

Why?

I don’t really know.  Certainly I have plenty of friends from every age group who are content not to own any CDs.  They don’t need to own it in order to listen on an iPod.  That’s not good enough for me.  I want the whole experience.  I want the cover art (on paper, not a computer screen), I want the liner notes.  I want to file the new CD on my shelves in the right order, and then gaze upon my collection of a given artist.  I like to handle the artwork, the CD, and take a hard squint at the pictures.  It’s hard to explain.  I can justify it by saying CD just sounds better than an mp3.  And as good as CD gets, sometimes vinyl can sound even better.

Even though I don’t need them anymore, I miss the old days of the Sunday recording sessions.  I miss the social aspects of friends gathering in somebody’s basement or living room to share and discuss and enjoy music (all of which I later bought, anyway).  I miss that feeling of heading home with some new music to listen to, right out of a friend’s collection.  But I don’t miss having only enough money to buy blank tapes, instead of originals.  I’m much happier now with my collection of well loved physical, original music.

#343: Tyler and LeBrain episode 3 – The French Invasion

170712_poutine

RECORD STORE TALES Mk II: Getting More Tale
#343: Tyler and LeBrain episode 3 – The French Invasion

Please welcome Sebastien to Getting More Tale. Seb is a Sausagefester who also happens to play drums, produce, and own a recording studio. Today we discuss the new Star Wars: The Force Awakens trailer, Taylor Swift, Avril Lavigne, and modern music.

#342: All in a Day’s Drive

RECORD STORE TALES Mk II: Getting More Tale
#342: All in a Day’s Drive

Friday November 21, 2014 was a pretty nice day weather wise. There was no precipitation and the skies were clear. If you’re going to pick a day to make a drive down the 401, you couldn’t have picked a better one. Jen needed to see a doctor at the hospital in Mississauga, so off we went. [Note: don’t worry, she’s fine. This is regarding her epilepsy.]  I brought music and reading materials, and kept a log of the rock:

9 am: Depart Kitchener for Brampton. Playing in the car: Deep Purple – Smoke on my Mega-Mixa bootleg compilation CD of remixes and live tracks.

10 am: Pick up Jen’s mom in Brampton [she spent the weekend with us]. Depart for Mississauga. Playing on car stereo: Van Halen – 5150.  As a “bonus track”, I tacked on the live version of “Why Can’t This Be Love” (from the music video) to the end of the playlist.  Jen’s comment: “The singing on this is… (pause)…really not as good as the regular version.”  She’s right.

11 am: Arrive at hospital. Playing on mp3 player: Kiss – Love Gun (deluxe). Reading material: Martin Popoff – Live Magnetic Air: The Unlikely Saga of the Superlative Max Webster

4 pm: Depart hospital with mission accomplished.

6:30 pm: Finally arrive home after 2 1/2 hour crawl along Highway 401!  The whole way was brake light city. Just a tedious, slow drive. There was no reason for it.  From what I could tell, it was all caused by commuters that didn’t know how to properly merge.  When somebody leaves you 5 or 6 car lengths space to merge in, take it.  Don’t race further ahead to see if you can get in front of that transport truck and that guy in the Hyundai.  Car music: Van Halen – Fair Warning, Diver Down, and A Different Kind of Truth. Yes, that means Jen and her mom heard a LOT of Van Halen today. And that’s fucking cool.

For more information on epilepsy, please visit epilepsyontario.org.

#341: Led Zeppelin vs. New Kids on the Block

RECORD STORE TALES Mk II: Getting More Tale
#341: Led Zeppelin vs. New Kids on the Block

Fall, 1990.

Led Zeppelin had just released their first monster box set to great excitement and fanfare. Long time Zeppelin fans eagerly investigated the new remastered tracks (a novelty at the time), and the four unreleased treasures. It seems amusing from today’s perspective that only four unreleased tracks (well, actually three – “Hey Hey What Can I Do” was a B-side) sent fandom into a frenzy. Today we have entire bonus CDs for each album. Back then, all we got was four songs.  How times have changed!  In Zeppelin’s case, more is always better, but in 1990 just four unheard songs seemed to shake the Earth.

I mean, it was Zeppelin!

Promotion went into overdrive with two brand new Zeppelin music videos. The first one was for the slippery, slide-guitar infested “Travelling Riverside Blues” recorded in 1969. What an incredible song. Hearing it, I knew right away that I needed to get some Zeppelin my collection, and that box set would be the perfect place to start. Especially since I really wanted “Travelling Riverside Blues”. Such an amazing electric blues performance.

On Canada’s MuchMusic, New Kids on the Block still dominated the video charts. In addition to their weekly countdown, Much introduced a new show called Combat Des Clips. On Combat Des Clips, one music video would be put up against another, and battle for viewers’ votes. The champion would return the following week to take on a new challenger. New Kids’ clip for “Tonight” (which, I’m embarrassed to say, my mom thought was a cover of a Beatles song) had dominated against all comers, for nine weeks straight. Now, it was Zeppelin’s turn to take them down.


One Direction

I hadn’t really paid much attention to the show before, but now it was a must. The opportunity for Zeppelin to take on New Kids was an epic battle that hit home. My own sister had fallen for the evil New Kids, while I was finding myself enamored with older authentic rock like Zeppelin. This was more than a battle between two bands. For me, this was personal!

Much played the clips from both challenger and champion, and I phoned in my vote. One vote for Zeppelin. As the hour dragged on (you had to sit through plenty more videos as the show went on) the votes for both artists climbed. It was close, but close only counts in horseshoes and hand grenades. For the first time ever, someone had knocked New Kids off the pedestal, and it was Led Zeppelin. Yes, that’s correct: the first band ever to dethrone New Kids off Combat Des Clips was Led Zeppelin. It was a joyous victory, as I taunted my sister over it. She didn’t even want to know. They played “Riverside” one more time at the end of the show; this time as champion.

MuchMusic took a few calls and faxes (no email back then!) from disgruntled New Kids fans. “I can’t believe the awesome New Kids were beaten by a bunch of old men!” read one.

Zeppelin did not have long to rest on their laurels. A week later, a new challenger rose to take on the sitting champions. This new challenger wasn’t even a real person. It was a yellow-skinned cartoon character named Bart Simpson, who had just scored his first hit with the video for “Do the Bartman”. I am sad to report that Bart Simpson succeeded in knocking Zeppelin off the pedestal. It wasn’t even really close.

Even though their reign only lasted a week, Led Zeppelin should be proud to know that their “Travelling Riverside Blues” – not even a proper album track, but only a forgotten BBC recording – knocked down the evil New Kids.

Their work was done.

#340: A Tribute to Jeff Woods (GUEST SHOT by Uncle Meat)

GUEST SHOT by UNCLE MEAT

JEFF WOODS

RECORD STORE TALES MkII: Getting More Tale
#340: A Tribute to Jeff Woods

When you meet someone who has some sort of “celebrity” status, you almost expect them to be stand-off ish with you. A few years ago Tom and I won the chance as per a radio contest to see an intimate-type interview with Geddy Lee and Alex Lifeson of Rush, which was conducted by Legends of Classic Rock/Q107 radio personality Jeff Woods.  We met Geddy and Alex very briefly and had a quick picture taken. However the true joy of this experience was our meeting afterwards with Jeff Woods.

Alex, Tom, Meat, Geddy

Alex, Tom, Meat, Geddy

He was extremely accommodating to our request of a sound byte for our Sausagefest recordings. He has continued to participate for a few years now and I thought I would post this to show just for appreciation to the man.

After a first try, he himself offers to “take it from the top”. He had known us for all of 30 seconds.  He excused himself to leave to get a pen, and come back and record so he could get it right.

Important side note…became Facebook friends with Mr. Woods a week after this was done. Looking over his timeline,  I noticed a post he put up days before we met him. It read, “Integrity is how you treat people that can do nothing for you”. Good to know someone out there practices what he preaches.

 

#339: Tyler and LeBrain episode two – Monster Truck & More

1a a a a a a a a a a a a monster furiosity live

RECORD STORE TALES Mk II: Getting More Tale
#339: Tyler and LeBrain episode two – Monster Truck & More

Missed the last episode of Tyler and LeBrain? Click here for episode one: Nickelback, and get up to speed.

Today’s subect:  Continuing our Nickelback discussion, Tyler and I turn to a controversial comparison: Do Nickelback and Monster Truck sound the same?  Listen to what we have to say, and leave your thoughts in the comments.  Enjoy.

*NOTE: I got the name of the Fu Manchu song and album wrong.  It’s “Saturn III” from The Action Is Go.  

#338: Answer to 4-Play Quiz No. 2

VH 194_0006

We have a winner! Check out the big brain on Brian Zinger (AGAIN!) who nailed this one!

Here are the four tracks:

  1. Van Halen – “Oh Pretty Woman”
  2. Van Halen – “Little Guitars”
  3. Van Halen – “Secrets”
  4. Van Halen –  “Jump”

And here’s my original email to Craig explaining the answer:

“Only the real fans will get this one. I thought it was real cool yesterday when you did the “five play” with “Little Guitars (intro)”. So, here’s 4 VH songs…and when you play them, fans will realize that on the albums, all songs have INSTRUMENTAL INTROS!”  1. “Intruder” 2. “Little Guitars (intro)” 3. “Cathedral” and 4. “1984”

VH DD_0005