Mr Moustachio’s Multitude of Marvellous Multiversal Misadventures: Chapter 2 – Train of Consequences Part One – A Tee Bone Man Multiverse Story (by Harrison Kopp)

Mr Moustachio’s Multitude of Marvellous Multiversal Misadventures
Chapter 2:  Train of Consequence – Part One

A Tee Bone Man Multiverse Story

By Harrison Kopp

Continued from Mr Moustachio’s Multitude of Marvellous Multiversal Misadventures Chapter 1: Farao Way From Home

 

A lightning strike illuminated the bridge of the Kashmir, with the thunderous crash immediately after shaking the very foundations of the lead zeppelin.

That was too close. Harriet de Havilland thought to herself as she brought the massive airship portside. Knuckles white, she wrenched the wheel to the left in an attempt to keep the unwieldy aircraft out of the crosshairs of the fighter planes harrying it. A series of metal shrieks from aft informed her she had room to improve in this endeavour.

“Talk to me, people. What’s going on out there.”, she yelled over her shoulder into the airship’s intercom. A second later she added a second question to the first one.

“Jex, que se passe-t-il!” (“Jex, what’s going on!”)

“Nous avons de gros problèmes!” (“We have big problems!”), came the reply from Jex Cousteau. The Canadian soldier was about as skilled as they came, but even he was up against the odds trying to hit the small fighter planes with the large bulky guns the Kashmir had. Not to mention the almost complete lack of visibility that came from flying in a storm at night.

In the other gun turret things were a little better though.

“At least two fighters down and at least two more to go!” Jane “Sandy” Quartz cried from the port gun emplacement. The tough old woman was always a force to be reckoned with. In fact, she would have much rather been out there in her own plane taking them on head-to-head, but the stormy conditions would rip her biplane apart.

And as luck would have it, two of the searchlight operators on the Kashmir’s left bank had managed to locate one of the enemy planes and stick with it as it tried to roll out of sight. Sandy brought her guns around to line it up as it made on last futile attack run on the Kashmir. One squeeze of the trigger later and it was plummeting in pieces towards the ground below at high velocity.

“One left!”, she cried out.

“I don’t see him!” cried one of the searchlight operators.

A scream came from the right side of the airship and the accompanying searchlight dropped down limp and remained there.

“Merde!” (You should really know this one already :) ), the Frenchman in the gun turret cursed, now having only the lights of his own gun to help him pierce the darkness.

Bullets battered the hull of the Kashmir over the next minute as the final fighter assailed the airship uncontested. The aircraft was well-armoured, but it couldn’t withstand this attack forever. But there was one thing the Kashmir still had that the fighter pilot didn’t: a vexed Frenchman.

Fuel by the frustration of losing his searchlight operators, Jex decided to play by misfortune’s rules and cut the lights on his own gun. Still as a statue, he peered out into the murky darkness, scanning for one very specific sight.

Then he saw it: the muzzle flash.

“Je t’ai” (“I have you”), he confidently said, right before pulling the trigger.

The cannons hit true and split the plane into a myriad of pieces. Unfortunately for the zeppelin though, the plane had been on an attack run in very close proximity to the airship when it had been hit.

Bits of aeroplane ripped their way through the outer fuselage, striking several vital systems and causing untold destruction to the mechanical components of the airship. The craft lurched and began to sink down towards the ground.

“Why is my ship falling out of the sky!?” Harriet yelled into the intercom.

“Both engines are down!” cried Michelle LeCerveau from engineering. Hot steam was filling room up rapidly, and the inventor was forced to leave the chamber and seal off all vents to the interior. There was nothing more her or her team could do now. With both engines inoperative the chances of the Kashmir ever flying again after it hit the ground were miniscule, but if she survived the crash, she was as sure as hell going to try her best to make sure it happened

Back in the bridge Harriet was cursing up a storm, not that the one outside needed any encouragement. The rain-soaked front vieport had been difficult to see out of at the best of times, but a brief flash of lightning further away outside gave a glimpse of the surroundings.

Harriet’s eyes went wide. A massive mountain was right in the path of the airship. With nowhere to go and only the memory of a glimpse to go on she guided the nose as best she could towards what looked like a bit of flat ground by a cliffside.

“Brace for impact!” she yelled out, throwing her back against the wheel and putting her head between her knees.

Meanwhile, at approximately the imminent point of impact, one El Moustachio stood, looking out at the oncoming zeppelin. Though visibility was obscured, he had been able to see that the giant aircraft was coming right for him.

Turning on his heels, he sprinted to the side in an attempt to get out of the way of the falling zeppelin. He spied a ridge not far away that he could take cover behind and ran as fast as he could.

Almost there.

The thundering of the falling metal got louder.

Just a few more meters.

He jumped the ridge just as the aircraft hit the mountain, metal shrieking as parts contorted into unnatural shapes they were never meant to be in. The airship tore a deep gouge in the rock as it slowed to a stop just before the edge of the cliffside.

The zeppelin had barely come to a stop before Moustachio began sprinting back towards it. If there was a chance of survivors, he was going to do everything he could to help them. Luckily there didn’t appear to be any fire anywhere.

Reaching one of the doors, he just about wrenched it off its hinges getting it open.

“Is anyone alive in there! There’s an exit here!”, he yelled into the hatch.

A minute later a small number of people exited. It was fewer people than he would have liked to see, but it was better than nothing. He was helping carry the wounded away as the last few people exited the Kashmir. 

Harriet was among them, in conversation with one of the crew members. The instant she spotted a man she didn’t recognise (Moustachio) she drew her pistol in an instant and levelled it at his chest.

“Who are you!? How did you get here!?”, she yelled.

“Woah woah woah.” Moustachio replied, raising his hands and backing up slowly. “I’m not from around here. I just got here and I just want to help.”

“Like hell you do. Talk now.”

“My name is Harrison Holden. I’m not from around here. I’m only just got here and I’m just looking for a way to get home.”

“Not from around here?”, Harriet asked. “Then where are you from and why are you here?”

“Look.”, Moustachio calmly said “This is going to sound crazy, but I’m from…another universe.”

Most of the people around looked at Moustachio like he had just sprouted a second head from his left knee.

“What! You expect us to believe that?”, Harriet scoffed. “Sandy, do you buy this crock?”

“I don’t think he’s a spy.” Sandy mused. “I don’t think a spy wouldn’t risk everything on such a ridiculous cover story. But then again, maybe he knows that.”

“Fair points.”, Harriet replied. “Et vous Jex, tu penses qu’il pourrait être un espion?” (“And you Jex, do you think he might be a spy?”)

“Non. Cette moustache est très digne de confiance” (No, that moustache is very trustworthy.”), the Frenchman replied.

“Alright then.”, she said, addressing Moustachio and holstering the pistol. “It seems there might be a place for you with us if you want. I can’t guarantee we’ll ever be able to get you home, but we’ll certainly help people.”

“That will be enough for now.”, Moustachio replied, happy to be in the presence of people who weren’t trying to kill him anymore.

Harriet gestured to her compatriots nearby.

“This is Sandy. She’s our repository of wisdom.”

“I’m not that old!”, Sandy replied. “Don’t listen to her. I ‘m still a better fighter than her anyway.”

“Yeah well, we never got to finish that one now did we? I’d have had you in the second half.”

Sandy rolled her eyes.

“And this is Jex.” Harriet continued. “He’s a Canadian soldier giving us a hand. He’s technically on an “extended” shore leave so don’t go shouting his name out to all and sundry. Oh, and one more thing, you don’t happen to speak any French, do you?”

“Je parle en peu de français. (“I speak a bit of French”)”, Moustachio replied. “Mais je pense que j’ai oublié la plupart de mes connaissances de la langue, malheureusement” (“But I think I have forgotten the majority of my knowledge of the language, unfortunately”).

“I think you’ll manage alright.” She said with a smile. “Now let’s get a move on. We’re going to fall behind schedule any minute now.”

“Right.” Sandy said. “Jex and I will get everything we can carry from the aft cargo hold and then help get the horses saddled up.”

“Good idea.” Harriet replied. “Harrison, you’re with me. I need to fill you in on a few more things.”

 

“We’re called The Rovers”, Harriet explained as she and Moustachio walked through the innards of the airship. “We’re a group of mercenaries, misfits and Canadians dedicated to stopping the unchecked rampages of those who abuse their positions and power. Our current target is a vile business magnate called Tiberious Crawford who has been assembling himself a monopolous conglomerate of the entirety of Canadian industry through some very hostile takeovers.”

“I presume it was him that shot you down?”

“Yes, he has a bit of a private army of his own, including now, apparently, an airbase too. Anyway, this way, there’s someone you need to meet.”

The two had reached the engineering room, which in the time since the crash had been vented and now had several engineers climbing around the room with a variety of tools in hand.

“Harrison, this is Michelle LeCerveau, our resident brainiac.”, Harriet said gesturing to a woman who had taken a wrench to a very large pipe.

“A pleasure to meet you.”, she said, standing up and extending a grease-covered hand forward.

“Harrison Holden, at your service.”, replied the Australian.

“Good. Hold this.”, Michelle said, dumping a sooty pressure valve into his hands.

“How bad’s the damage?”, Harriet asked softly.

Michelle’s face fell.

“I’m so sorry but it just won’t ever be feasible to even try to repair it. We’re just salvaging the most valuable components now.”

In an instant Harriet’s demeanour changed. With a tortured cry she punched a nearby pipe, cracking it open and receiving a faceful of steam for her trouble.

Wordlessly she turned on her heels and stalked back up the hallway. After a brief pause, Moustachio followed behind her.

The two moved towards the front of the airship in a silence only occasionally punctuated by the hissing discharge of steam from one of the many pipes running under and overhead.

“I need a minute alone in my cabin.”, Harriet said weakly when they came upon a certain door. “The bridge is just up there. There are a few things we need to grab from it.”

Moustachio nodded and continued on through the hallway. Half a minute later he walked onto the bridge of the zeppelin. It was housed in the very front section, with the massive forward viewport looking out onto the valley behind where he had entered the universe. The sun had just begun to rise and light up the sky in a spectacular orange showcase.

Moustachio slowly walked up to the window and looked out. While it had only been a day or two since he had last been at home in Australia, it had felt like an eternity. He took a moment to take in and enjoy the peace.

“They’re so beautiful aren’t they”, came Sandy’s voice from behind Moustachio.

“Yes, it’s been too long since I’ve seen a sunrise.”, Moustachio replied as she came up alongside him. “Sometimes I wish I could just fly high, like a bird in the sky. Like an eagle. All your problems seem so small from up here”, Moustachio continued, his voice trailing off slightly.

“But they’re still there, you just don’t notice them until they’re bigger.” Sandy replied with a weak smile. “But don’t worry, I know that feeling. We’ll get you flying in a jiffy.”

Harriet had caught up with the two and had entered the bridge with a box of assorted items under her arm.

“Not in this ship anymore, I’m afraid.”

The two turned around to face her.

“Oh no.”, Sandy cried. “Is it that bad?”

“Yes, I’m afraid.” Harriet sadly replied. “Your plane survived with only a few snapped strings though. They’re fixing it up now as we speak.”

“That’s a relief, but it’s a small consolation in the grand scheme of things.”, Sandy said.

“Well, we have to take the small victories when they come. Anyway, they’ll be ready to set off any minute now so we’d better get going.”

Apparently there had been an entire stable somewhere on the airship, because there were now four horses hitched to a couple of carts outside The Kashmir. The surviving crew members had loaded everything they could fit onto them and were now perched atop them awaiting the green light to set off.

Harriet was the last person to need to get on. She was leaning against Sandy’s biplane as the latter woman conducted her pre-flight checks.

“Is there going to be enough room to take off?”, Harriet asked concerningly.

“Oh yeah. The cliff face drops straight down. I can throw this thing off the edge and have enough lift long before I hit the ground.”

“Alright”, Harriet said. “We’ll meet you there then.”

“You can count on it”, Sandy replied, pulling her goggles down over her eyes and firing up the engine.

Harriet jogged back to the carts and mounted one of the horses.

“Alright people, let’s move out!”

And so The Rovers began their slow descent down the rocky mountain path and into the valley.

The trip through the countryside took most of the day but was largely uneventful. Moustachio enjoyed the chance to slow down a bit and enjoy the trek through nature.

“So what is your universe like then?”, Harriet asked Harrison when the company stopped for lunch.

“Much like this one. A lot of the countries are same. A lot of the people too. I think I knew you guys in my home universe.”

“Wow, really!”, Harriet said. “What are we like?”

“Well, you guys are…well.. guys to be honest.”, Moustachio replied. “. Michelle’s guy is really smart. We call him The Brainiac. Jane goes by the name John Snow.”

Harriet snickered. Sandy hated winter.

“And what about me?”, she continued.

“I think we’re actually counterparts to be honest.”, Moustachio stated. It would make sense.

“Good thing I didn’t shoot you then.”, Harriet chuckled.

“I agree, though I may have a vested interest in that regard. I haven’t met anyone who I could say Jex is though. But he makes me excited to see who I’ll have in my universe to call Jex and to call my friend.”

“And what sort of technology do you have back in your home?”, Michelle asked.

“Oh, you’d love it. We’ve advanced about 80 years past where you are now. You wouldn’t believe some of the stuff we have. We’ve even had people walk on the moon”, Moustachio said.

Michelle’s eyes went as wide as dinner plates.

“Tell me tell me tell me!”, she begged Moustachio.

“All in good time.”, Harriet said. “We’ve got a mission to focus on here first. Which reminds me- Harrison, how good are you with a gun?”

“I’ve shot them a few times. I’d say I’m probably a little better than the next man, but by no means an expert.”, Moustachio replied.

“That’s a good start.”, Harriet said, passing Moustachio a silver revolver. “We’ll give you a little refresher when we get to our destination.”

Moustachio rolled the weapon around in his hand. It was weighty but fit in his hand well. He hadn’t made a habit of using guns as part of his arsenal, but he wasn’t going to pass one up.

When in Rome. He thought to himself as he holstered the pistol and the group set off again. No sense in handicapping oneself if you didn’t have to.

After a few more enquiries about Moustachio’s universe of origin, the group set off again.

It was early evening, and the sun was setting as The Rovers arrived at their destination. It was a sizable homestead on a large plot of land. Sandy’s biplane could be seen parked in one of the nearby fields.

As they group got closer the door to the building was thrown open and out ran a very anxious Deryn Williamson, shortly followed by a similarly agitated Tracy Erikson and more relaxed Sandy.

“Oh thank god.”, Deryn said. “When Sandy said you’d crashed in the mountains I was so worried. Plus you could have missed the rendezvous.”

“We made good time thankfully.”, Harriet replied, shaking Deryn’s hand. “We just won’t have that extra day to rest and plan.”

“When have any of our plans ever gone to plan anyway?”, Sandy asked from behind Derryn.

“Quiet you.”, Harriet said with a smirk. “This one’s a good one.”

“If by ‘good’ you mean ‘crazy’, then yes.”, Tracy chimed in.

“Well fortune does favour the bold.”, Deryn said. “Come on in. Dinner’s almost ready and there’s plenty to go around.”

Moustachio and the others gathered inside the old house and sat down in an old dining room. It had been a little while since he’d sat down inside for a proper meal and he was starving. The banquet before him was the best thing he’d seen in a long time.

As the group ate, they regaled each other with stories of their latest exploits. Tales of betrayal and of love. Of victory and tragedy. Of history and dreams. By the time Moustachio turned in for the night he had a pretty good grasp of the recent history of his new home.

As he settled into a bed for the night, he thought of his friends back home. How he wished he could see them again. They would have loved to meet The Rovers.

Later that night, Sandy and Harriet were speaking in hushed whispers at the bottom of one of the staircases.

“Are you sure about this? I thought you didn’t trust him. Now you’ve given him a gun and told him our plan.”, Sandy said.

“I thought about it. There’s no way anyone could have predicted where we were going to be shot down and on what day. He has to be telling the truth. And if a spy’s good enough predict all that and gamble it on such an outlandish story, then they’re going to get us no matter what we try.”

Sandy was somewhat mollified by this. It was the same as her reasoning earlier anyway.

“Alright. Then we’d better get some sleep. Big day tomorrow.”

To be continued…

 

THE ADVENTURES OF TEE BONE MAN:  PHASE ONE – THE SQUIRREL SAGA 

THE ADVENTURES OF TEE BONE MAN:  PHASE TWO – THE MULTIVERSE SAGA

 

 

THE COMPLETE ADVENTURES OF EDIE VAN HEELIN’

THE WRITER’S ROOM

6 comments

  2. Great story, but if there’s a female counterpart for the Metalman, I’m not sure what you’d call her. Metalwoman? I like the differences between the two universes and how the story is shaping up.

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    1. Metalwoman works! I am a Michelle, so perhaps you could also be a Michelle. I was surprised when Harrison first told me of this idea. It was so far outside the box!

      And if you look closely at tomorrow’s story, you will see another universe again – “Oatmealiverse”.

      I’m losing track of all our universes! We have:

      The “PRIME” Tee Bone Man Universe
      The Noiriverse
      The Girliverse
      The Brainikin and Snippison Universe
      The Writer’s Room Universe
      …and more are coming!

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