Record Store Tales

#1001.5: 50 (Or, Thank You!!)

RECORD STORE TALES #1001.5: 50 (part two)

Thanks to everyone for your kind comments about my 50th birthday gone awry.  Jen is feeling better, though besides a fat lip, she now sports a nice black eye.  Could have been worse.

I’m still Covid negative so I’ll take that as a win.  The cold that I do have is not so bad, and though I am back at work, I have not been able to do a full day yet.  But that will improve.

After Jen felt better from her fall, we opened some gifts.  She got me some cool Marvel and Star Wars figures, but the music is the best part.

First up was the new Black Crowes EP, 1972.  This six-song covers EP is getting rave reviews and I cannot wait to hear the Rod Stewart cover “You Wear It Well”.  This EP is in anticipation of new material from the reformed band.  There’s even a photo of the new lineup (including returning bassist Sven Pipien) which is a packaging touch I always appreciate.  I have been skeptical of the Crowes’ current reunion, but putting out new music with this lineup alleviates most of that.  Dig it!

And then we have the massive Black Sabbath Technical Ecstasy box set!  This is one of my favourite Oz Sabbath albums.  Actually one of my first, after Paranoid.  The box includes the full album, the album remixed, some outtakes and a live show from 1977.   The live show looks especially cool, with “Gypsy”, “Dirty Women” and “All Moving Parts” in the setlist.  “Electric Funeral” is even included.  The bizarre cover art has always struck me as Asimovian.  Think The Gods Themselves.

Thank you Jen.  What a day for you.  You sure know how to buy gifts though.

Then I unboxed the massive parcel sent to me by Thor in Denmark.  It was heavy.  I didn’t know what to expect.  It was obviously packed full.  Even so, nothing broke in transit!  Everything arrived in great condition, but there was so much stuff inside, we need to do a complete inventory.

First, there’s Anthem:  Ultimate Best Of Nexus Years Japanese import with obi strip intact.  Thor actually wrote an excellent review of this album with all the details.  Bassist Naoto Shibata played on one of my favourite Loudness albums, so this is a total enhancement for my collection.  It’s a double disc with a different singer on each disc, from two eras of the band.  He rated it 4.95/5!

Then we have Red, Hot and Heavy by Pretty Maids, a band he considers the most underrated in metal.  I don’t know this one, but it’s from 1984 so I think I’m going to like it.

Finally we have a self-titled album by Dizzy Mizz Lizzy, who I had to look up.  This is a 1994 debut album by a critically acclaimed Danish band.  Says a review on the Wikipedia page, “It all heavily oozes Led Zeppelin and Seattle.”  Sounds good to me.

It may take a while for me to get to Dizzy Mizz Lizzy, considering Thor also sent me the motherlode of a band I first heard in the 80s, D-A-D, originally known as Disneyland After Dark.  They too hail from Denmark, and I have praised their 1989 American debut, No Fuel Left for the Pilgrims, with a 4.5/5 star review.

Well, Thor went overboard.  And by that, I mean Overmuch!  Look at all this D-A-D glory!  Thanks to him, I must now be the proud owner of the best D-A-D collection in Canada.  Let’s go through everything one by one.

No Fuel Left For the Pilgrims (1989).  This is the super rare original version of the CD, with the original name, before the change to D-A-D.  Not only is the cover different, but so is the mix on four tracks:  “Sleeping My Day Away”, “Point of View”, “Rim of Hell” and “Girl Nation”.  On the international CD that I have, these four tracks were remixed by Chris Lord-Alge.  You can hear the slight difference, mostly in terms of levels in the mix.

Good Clean Family Entertainment You Can Trust (1995).  A single disc compilation with live and studio cuts, and loads of single artwork inside.

Psychopatico (1998).  Double live.  Their first live release besides a 1990 live Japanese EP.  17 tracks total.

The Early Years (2000).  Double compilation!  Includes their first two studio albums, plus their debut EP called Standin’ On the Never Ever, and 17 rare or previously unreleased bonus tracks.

Scare Yourself Alive (2006).  Another double live!  Two gigs from 2005 included.  Minimal overlap between the two discs.

DIC·NII·LAN·DAFT·ERD·ARK (2011).  Studio album.  Check out that Super Audio CD case!  Looks like I have all their studio albums now, as you shall see.

A Prayer For the Loud (2019).  Their most recent studio album.

And, best of all…

The Overmuch Box:  Twenty Five Years of D-A-D (2009)!  This includes all their studio albums up to 2008, completing my collection!  The albums are:

  • Standin’ On the Never Ever (1985 EP)
  • Call Of the Wild (1986)
  • D-A-D Draws a Circle (1987)
  • No Fuel Left for the Pilgrims (1989 US version)
  • Riskin’ It All (1991)
  • Helpyourselfish (1995)
  • Simpatico (1997)
  • Everything Glows (2000)
  • Soft Dogs (2002)
  • Scare Yourself (2005)
  • Monster Philosophy (2008)
  • Bonus album:  Behind the Seen (Rare, unreleased & B-sides 1984-2009)

There’s still a bit of D-A-D out there to acquire, such as that Japanese EP, but surely not much.  To be honest I never expected to get any more D-A-D beyond the Riskin’ It All album (which is supposedly lethal).  But…holy shit people!  That’s enough D-A-D to take years to digest.

Thor’s generosity cannot be understated! This is awesome stuff.  You never see their music around in Canada, and I simply assumed I’d never have them.  I love the price tags from a store called Moby Disc – great name!  To have this much D-A-D, including the early stuff I only read about, and both versions of No Fuel, I’m just blown away.  Truly overmuch! This is a band that has been special to me for a long time, because I can remember sitting in Bob Schipper’s basement when that music video came on.  He went nuts for it.  Just loved it.  Just like I loved that big guy!  Nothing but great times.

Thank you Jen, thank you Thor, and everyone who wished me a happy birthday.

#1001: 50 (Or, Reading a Post in Real Time)

RECORD STORE TALES #1001: 50

Well, it happened.  After two and a half years of no illnesses whatsoever, this boy finally got sick a couple days before his 50th birthday.  Not Covid, thank fuck.  Just the cold that seems to be going around “like wildfire” according to our pharmacist.  Sunday night it hit like a ton of bricks and I was in bed by 5:30.  Monday I was coughing with a sore throat and spent the entire day in bed, a couple hours here and there aside.  Tuesday I was well enough to go back to work.  Dead tired though.

And so, this 50th birthday that was supposed to be a simple movie night with the parents is now a night at home by ourselves.  Can’t bring this cold into their house.  Additionally, because I didn’t go into work on Monday, I cancelled my planned day off on Friday.  Just not enough time left in the week to get everything done.  We were supposed to do a 50th birthday celebration at the lake but that won’t be happening.

As miserable as I felt, it’s nice to get the birthday messages.  Because I can, I’ll boast a bit about the celebrity birthday wishes.  I’m always a little shellshocked when guys like this wish me a happy birthday:

  • Brent Jensen, the author and podcaster who always makes my skin vibrate
  • Mike Fraser, world-class producer and mixer extraordinaire
  • Brent Doerner, Helix guitarist
  • Greg Fraser, Brighton Rock and Storm Force axe-slinger
  • Michael Willerding, former drummer for Russian Blue and Feel
  • Rik Fox, original W.A.S.P. bassist who messaged all the way from Facebook jail

Even though I feel like I need an extended

[cut]


That is the exact moment while writing this post on a snack break that my cell phone rang.

Same old, same old, same old.  The mall called.  My beautiful wife had a seizure.  This time, she fell flat on her face and cut her lip.  She looks absolutely brutal right now.  It hurts my heart.

Had to leave work early.  I’m exhausted.  She’s pretty sore.

Let’s focus on the good.  Trying to focus on the good.

OK, the good:

  • Happy birthday wishes from all my friends and relatives
  • Surprise birthday pizza and pasta from our pharmacist, Vu
  • Surprise birthday parcel from Thor, aka Thunder Blackmore (it’s just cool getting a text message that says “You have a parcel from Thor”)
  • Jen is safe

I was going to do a big unboxing of Thor’s parcel but I am dead tired now.  I need rest.  And what says “you’re 50 years old now” better than a nap?

It can only get better from here.  Happy 50th, to me.

Record Store Tales #1000: A Tribute

Introduction

1991 was the beginning!  While I was busy furthering my education, the future owner of the Record Store prepared for his grand opening.  The store was in a mall location and had a minimal staff.  It filled a niche in that mall, and managed to survive where other stores did not.  It wasn’t hugely successful, but that was about to change.

In 1994, everything shifted.  The owner brought in a tray of his own CDs to sell used, and they flew off the counter.  “Why not?” he asked himself, and switched to a 50/50 used/new format.  I bought my first used CD from him that July.  It was Kiss My Ass, which was a brand new release.  I paid $12 instead of $19.  Perfect, especially for a CD you didn’t want for every song!  I vowed to shop there loyally.

Later that month, July of 1994, I had the opportunity to keep shopping, but with a discount!  I was hired part-time.  The first used CD I bought as an employee was Rush’s Chronicles.  The sticker price was $20 instead of $34.

In 1995, the owner opened his second location with a novel 90/10 used/new format.  This format took off, and in 1996 he opened the third location.  He asked me to manage it.  I had been waiting for just such an opportunity.  It was the start of a decade long run for me, managing record stores.  I missed saying goodbye to the original location, but relished having my own full-time management position.  What a ride that was, as you have seen and read!

At the end of ’96, the original location finally closed but moved to Cambridge, utilizing the 90/10 format.  It was the end of an era – the era of the original location, which is still fondly remembered by all who worked there.  For Record Store Tales #1000, let’s pay tribute to the original mall location of the Record Store.  Some of the best years and memories of my life.  Very little of this will be new information, for there are only so many stories to tell.  However I hope you find this 1000th chapter interesting and entertaining:  a tribute to the original!


Record Store Tales #1000:  A Tribute

Back when it opened in 1991, it was just nice to have a Record Store at the mall again.  We used to have an A&A Records & Tapes, but they closed in 1990.  There was a period of time where there were no record stores within walking distance, except the Zellers store‘s meagre music section.  Unfortunately the Record Store prices were comparatively high:  $14.99 for a regular priced cassette.  I didn’t know then about things like cost and overhead, but Columbia House was a better option for me.  Still, he managed to keep that store alive.  Some of tapes I purchased there before being hired included Europe’s Prisoners in Paradise, Fight’s War of Worlds, and Mr. Bungle’s self-titled.  That may have been it.  Tapes weren’t cheap.

Then the used CDs came along.  A used disc like Kiss My Ass was cheaper than its cassette counterpart; a no-brainer purchase.  I was very fortunate to get on board the train just as they were taking off with a great idea.  The owner hired me in July of ’94, and T-Rev shortly after in August or September.  The things I saw come in used during my first weeks and months were incredible.  Rare import singles, bootlegs, and lots of out-of-print metal stuff, long before reissues were a “thing”.  I’d frequently have to choose what to buy for myself from paycheque to paycheque.  I’d look up items in our supplier’s catalogue, and buy anything used that was currently deleted.  Stuff like You Can’t Stop Rock ‘N’ Roll by Twisted Sister, or the Brighton Rock albums.

There were a number of CDs we had set aside as store play copies, but only a stack or two.  We could play anything that was in stock used, but if someone bought it, that was that.  Two of the store play albums we played most often in the summer of ’94 were Alice In Chain’s Jar of Flies EP and Stone Temple Pilots’ Purple.  Whenever I hear that Alice In Chains today, I can really feel that whole period again.  Dark, but with a nostalgic glow due to the years.  Once T-Rev and I started working alone, we picked our own music.  If you heard Max Webster blasting from the store, then T-Rev was working.  If you heard Sabbath, it was me.

We had a TV to play MuchMusic, but most often it was on mute while we played CDs in the store.  The boss hated that TV.  I think one of things that bugged him was when a customer asked him, “When did you get that TV?”  It had been there for three years!  I think I may have used it to watch Star Trek once.

I loved closing the store.  You could listen to whatever you wanted.  There was a lot to do though.  Balance the register, do the deposit, take out the trash, vacuum, and file any inventory bags and tags from sold items, so they could be re-ordered.  Each CD we stocked had a copy with a tag or bag on it, with the artist, title, and record company.  These were then filed in a book at the end of the day, and anything put in the book would usually be re-ordered.  That was the nightly routine.  Sometimes I forgot to take out the trash and boy did I get told for it.

T-Rev and I alternated nights.  There were two sets of shifts:  Monday night, Wednesday night, and Friday night.  Or, Tuesday night, Thursday night, and the weekend.  We alternated weeks and it was great.  But we worked alone, and Saturdays could be a grind.

The thing that really slammed us on Saturdays was buying the used CDs.  It was such an important process, because by buying CDs we were controlling our cost of goods.  So it took time and it was all done manually.  Searching physically to see if we had the CD already.  Flip through a book to see if we could find out what it was worth.  Inspect the condition.  Decide on a value.  Keep ’em organized.  It took time, and we had no space.  I remember we had this small counter, with a big cash register, and off to the side were two damaged CD towers that we basically used as an end table to pile more stuff on.

Every Wednesday night was tag check!  We had security tags like most stores, and every Wednesday, we re-taped ones that were coming off.  Speaking of security, let’s not forget Trevor the Security Guard, who got me in shit for killing time talking to me too much.  And the other weirdo security guard who got me into Type O Negative.  Kind of looked like Farva from Super Troopers.

I remember the “regulars”, and lemme tell ya, malls have characters.  There was a licensed restaurant in the same hallway as us, so we had the odd drunk.  It was just something you had to deal with.  If the smell didn’t give it away, the slurred questions did.  There was one lady that was in all the time, buying stuff for her sons.  Or at least, asking “if we had it”.

There was a pizza place and a convenience store, so food was taken care of.  We didn’t have a restroom, which was a good thing, because we didn’t have to worry about customers wanting to use it.  (There was one time a washroom would have come in handy, but only one time.)  Unfortunately there also wasn’t a back room to store things or to eat lunch.  I remember one afternoon, I was eating my slice of pizza on the bench outside the store.  A dad-type guy walked up to me, and said “I can see you’re eating your lunch, and that’s fine, but I’d like to speak with you later about returning a tape.”  I just nodded my head and said “OK”.  Jesus Christ!

T-Rev and I were given a lot of say in what we carried.  We special ordered new stock that we knew the store needed.  Meanwhile, the boss was bringing in bootlegs and Japanese imports.  T-Rev made the signage as mine were deemed too messy.  I often wonder if the owner feels that way about my website as well.  I was not allowed to make any signs!

The best memories of the Record Store were people, like T-Rev, who remains a friend to this day.  It wasn’t long before we were influencing each others’ purchases.  He recommended The Four Horsemen’s second album, Gettin’ Pretty Good…At Barely Gettin’ By.  I got him into buying singles for the rare B-sides.  It was great working with him.  Then one day I walked in and a big bearded guy was behind the counter.  Tom had entered the picture, and a new era was about to begin.  The founder of Sausagefest had arrived and things were about to get heavy!  Shortly thereafter, Tom threatened to sleep in the store one night when his car doors were frozen shut.  I kind of wish that had happened.

Or how about reconnecting with old school friends at the front counter.  Things like that were rewarding, not to mention the sheer cool factor in working at a Record Store in 1994.  It truly was the dream job!  My collection boomed and I had to start looking at new storage options!  And who was there to design my custom CD tower?  T-Rev!

So here is a tribute to the original record store, all the great memories, and the best years of my working life!  Thank you!

 

 

 

 

#999: Slo-Mo Schnauzers, Stop Motion Autobots, and UFOs? Oh My! (Video)

RECORD STORE TALES #999:
Slo-Mo Schnauzers, Stop Motion Autobots, and UFOs? Oh My!

Nothing really went as planned when the internet went out.  So, we did what we could.  We pretended it was 1989 and had fun in old fashioned ways.  Good thing no LeBrain Train show was planned!  And boy, did we take advantage of the break.  Fortunately music was not an issue, so I warmed up the laptop and dug into the hard drive for some albums that reminded me of the old days.

To a soundtrack of Kiss, Kim Mitchell, Max Webster, Aerosmith, Alice Cooper, Bon Jovi, Def Leppard, Iron Maiden, and many more, I grabbed the comic books and the Yahtzee.  It was too cold to swim (weird for July) so we had to do other things.  Jen worked on her adult colouring books.  I made food.  I also took plenty of video.

The wildlife this weekend was captured for your viewing pleasure.  Plenty of gulls, eating multitudes of beach insects (which were so plentiful you can clearly see them on camera).  We had a brave little chipmunk who seemed to enjoy the sounds of Aerosmith.  I think I’ll name him Joe Perry.  There were two cute doggos (one Schnauzer and one Miscellaneous), which I filmed in slow motion.  The visuals this weekend were unrivalled!  A pretty epic night fire, and sunsets that kill any you have seen yourself.  All captured and carefully edited to a soundtrack of unreleased Max the Axe music, and classic Tee Bone Erickson tunes.  Although the finished video is on the long-ish side, your reward is unreleased Max tuneage (one live, and a preview of a coming remix of “Randy”) and plenty of stunning visuals in HD slow motion.

We talked last time of being bored at the lake as a teenager.  If I had this kind of technology as a kid, I’d never had been bored.  That’s the truth.  There’s always something worth documenting.  The fact that I can have it finished and edited at the end of the weekend is actually pretty mind blowing.

The weirdest thing that happened (besides hearing a coyote calling at 11:30 at night, and then screaming at 5:00 AM), was the UFO.

Now, I’m not saying “aliens” when I say “UFO”.  Let’s be clear on that.  However the object was flying and none of us could identify it.  There were minimum three witnesses each time.  On the first night, the UFO appeared at sunset as a quickly brightening star, which eventually faded or was hidden by clouds.  It didn’t move.  My camera didn’t reveal much, although it looked like a blocky shape.  Our working theory was the International Space Station.

The second time, the object appeared in the same place at the same time, still motionless.  It looked like a flame in the sky, a frozen flame.  That’s the best way I can describe it.  It stayed in the sky until we eventually left the beach about half an hour later.  When I returned later at night, it was too cloudy to be seen.  Two examples below, and you can see more in the full video.

Internet outage aside, the only crappy thing about the weekend was that I did not get to visit Sausagefest as I’d hoped.  The internet outage disrupted Jen’s routines a bit and I elected to stay home and make sure she was OK.  As it stands I’m glad I made that decision, as she needed a little help doing a few things.

Otherwise, it was a delightful weekend of music and doing things differently.  I wish I had written down all the albums we listened to, but with no movies and no TV, music was the obvious dominant force.  A lot of Kiss this weekend, folks.  A lot of Kiss.

The video may be long but it’s worth it.  Slo-mo Schnauzer is your payoff!

 

#998: Yeah…Nah!

Part Thirty-Three of the Def Leppard Review Series

There comes in a time in many, but not all, bands’ lives.  Its a fan moment, not a band moment, but just as important.  It’s the point in time when a fan starts losing interest.  Every fan has their own reasons.  I can chart the trajectory of my own Def Leppard love on a graph.

In grades 10 and 11, when Hysteria was at its peak, Def Leppard were my favourite band.  I cut them some slack for the lack of anything truly new on Adrenalize, given what the band had endured to get there.  Slang was the spiritual successor to Hysteria, returning to musical experimentation and dramatic change.  But it didn’t catch on, so Leppard were forced to contrive a “return to roots” on Euphoria, which failed to resonate with me.  The X debacle with all the boy-band pretensions was a right turnoff.  Only on Sparkle Lounge did the trajectory start to return in the right direction.

But…it was not the same.  A trust had been broken.  The band that I had loved in highschool (when my previous favourite band, Kiss, made some dubious direction choices in the late 80s) had taken some serious detours over the years that left me unsure.  As much as Kiss had let the quality slide themselves, I had a hard time forgiving Def Leppard over X.  And I don’t think that feeling from the before-fore times ever really comes back.

The Taylor Swift thing was like a reminder.  “Def Leppard are going to do things that you don’t like much.”  Nothing against Taylor who has her own style of art.  There is an entire demographic of fans that are not going to listen to a collaboration with Taylor Swift.  Many of them are reading this now.  Meanwhile, there are fans who have delighted to one degree or another in every twist and turn in the Def Leppard discography.  And that’s fine too.  There is no right or wrong.  It’s only fair for you to know where the head of the reviewer is.  This is your disclaimer.

Because of my love for this band, I’ll always give them a fair shot.  I just won’t always care.  And that’s the big difference.  Def Leppard went from a band that I cared deeply about, to one that I was buying music from out of routine instead of passion.  Similarly, with these reviews, they are being written out of diligence and not a place of deep commitment.  It is becoming harder work, so beware!

Thanks to Holen for the inspiration

Previous:  

  1. The Early Years Disc One – On Through the Night 
  2. The Early Years Disc Two – High N’ Dry
  3. The Early Years Disc Three – When The Walls Came Tumbling Down: Live at the New Theater Oxford – 1980
  4. The Early Years Disc Four – Too Many Jitterbugs – EP, singles & unreleased
  5. The Early Years Disc 5 – Raw – Early BBC Recordings 
  6. The Early Years 79-81 (Summary)
  7. Pyromania
  8. Pyromania Live – L.A. Forum, 11 September 1983
  9. Hysteria
  10. Soundtrack From the Video Historia – Record Store Tales
  11. In The Round In Your Face DVD
  12. “Let’s Get Rocked” – The Wait for Adrenalize – Record Store Tales
  13. Adrenalize
  14. Live at the Freddie Mercury Tribute Concert
  15. Retro-Active
  16. Visualize
  17. Vault: Def Leppard’s Greatest Hits / Limited Edition Live CD
  18. Video Archive
  19. “Slang” CD single
  20. Slang
  21. I Got A Bad Feeling About This: Euphoria – Record Store Tales
  22. Euphoria
  23. Rarities 2
  24. Rarities 3
  25. Rarities 4
  26. Cybernauts – Live
  27. Cybernauts – The Further Adventures of the Cybernauts (bonus disc)
  28. X
  29. Best Of (UK)
  30. Rock Of Ages: The Definitive Collection
  31. Yeah!
  32. Yeah! Bonus CD With Backstage Interviews

Next:

34. Songs From the Sparkle Lounge

#997: De-Programming

RECORD STORE TALES #997:  De-Programming

 

On July 8, there was a massive nation-wide service outage in Canada.  No cable, no cellular, no internet.  As stinky as this situation was, it did create a time machine of sorts.  Jen and I were already celebrating the summer of ’89 with albums such as Pump and Dr. Feelgood.  The internet outage really took us back to 1989 (and earlier) in a specific way.

I’ve written in glowing terms about childhood and cottage life.  Rose coloured glasses, my friends.  Rose coloured classes.  For this service outage reminded us of the before-fore times when we had two channels on TV and nothing else.

So here I am, writing this in the middle of the outage, into a word document.  These are the fresh thoughts as they happen.

Thought the first:  Boy, am I ever glad I have my music collection meticulously backed up on hard drives.  Otherwise, I’d have no music.  To continue the summer of ’89 feel, we listened to the “Fire Woman” EP by The Cult.  Then, Dirty Rotten Filthy Stinking Rich by Warrant.

Second thought:  I remember I had something of a catchphrase at the cottage back then.  “I’m boooooored.”

Indeed, it is all coming back to me now!  I was bored a lot up here.  I had my music (on cassette) and some books with me at all times, but that wasn’t enough to stave off the boredom of a pimply teenager with hockey hair.

I think it’s worse today because we’ve been conditioned to be able to look stuff up on demand.  As I listened to The Cult, I wanted to read the lyrics.  I wanted to look up the production personnel.  I’m conditioned to be able to do that.  I’m constantly distracted by wanting to look stuff up.

Additionally, I am always used to a steady stream of messages through the day, be they emails or comments.  I’m trained to look at my phone every so often to glance at notifications.  That reflex is there even now.  I’m trying to de-program myself today.

The summer of 1989 was the year that I declared Warrant to be my favourite new band.  So let’s go where the “Down Boys” go, and figure out what was so boring about this place to the teenager with nothing to do.

The most exciting thing to do for me back then was to go to town.  Then I’d have the opportunity to buy a new rock magazine or perhaps a tape at the Radio Shack or Stedman’s stores.  Some candy too if we were lucky.  But a teenager needed a family to take him to town, and they didn’t always want to go to town.  And if they did, it was on their terms, which meant a lot of waiting around as they tried on shoes or looked at knick-knacks.

I’m boooooored.

We usually split into groups.  The ladies (my aunt, mom and sister) would go to the knick-knack stores.  My dad and I would go to Radio Shack, Stedman’s and Leisure World.  And then we’d sit around waiting for the others.

I’m boooooored.

We’d play games, but you’d have to wait for everybody to be ready.  Mom had to make her coffee.  Sister had to dry her hair.

I’m boooooooored!

I enjoyed helping my dad cook dinner.  Always a cottage highlight for me.  I’d season the steaks, make the fire, and let my dad take it from there.  We made a lot of good steaks over cedar fires in 1989.

I enjoyed when my friend Bob, who had a license and a car (Pontiac Fiero), would drive up for a visit.  His family had a trailer about 30 minutes south.  His trailer park even had girls!  There were never any girls to meet at the cottage.  The isolation here was a lot to deal with for a teenager.  No MuchMusic, no VCR, no music videos at all.

Just now, I wanted to Google how far away his trailer park was, to get the details right.  No internet.  Must de-program.

It’s not like I was meeting any girls at home, but at least I could go to the mall and run into school friends.  At the cottage I couldn’t even call them.  Today I have Jen with me, and my sister is right next door, so the isolation isn’t really an issue.  While I wish I could message Harrison or Meat with my latest thoughts, they’ll just have to wait.  And if I can’t remember the thoughts to message them, then they couldn’t have been all that important.  De-programming!

Compared to yesteryear, I have more freedom.  Here I am on the front porch, rocking to Warrant and nobody’s telling me to go to my room or turn it down.  If I want to go make a fire, nobody will tell me not to.   I don’t have to wait for anyone else if I feel like swimming.  If I want to barbecue a steak for lunch, good on me.

One thing that never bored me:  a cottage project like putting on a new deck.  It was always a communal effort with all of us contributing to cutting and nailing wood.  Maybe I’d even be allowed to bring my ghetto blaster outside to listen to music (at a reasonable volume).

Sometimes we’d play baseball (not easy with all the trees in the way), badminton, frisbee, darts.  Pellet guns were always stocked with ammo and tin cans were kept for target practice.  It’s not that there was nothing to do.  It’s that I didn’t always want to do that stuff because I’d rather be bored.

Sometimes we’d be so bored we’d count the seams in the ceiling planks.

This deprogramming stuff is hard.  We’ve been heavily conditioned to be connected.  I’ve written all I have to say at the moment, so I’m going to pick some more tunes to play, and go make a fire.  Fascinating weekend, this will be.

 

#996: “These are really big in Europe”

RECORD STORE TALES #996: “These are really big in Europe”

Summer 2003

I was working for a stretch at our newly opened Mississauga location.  It was deader than dead, but many of the managers had to take turns running the ship until we had a trained staff.  There were always staffing problems like people not showing up for their first shifts, and I don’t think the manager lasted a long time either.  Kind of a nightmare, as many store openings were back them.  This store sat in the middle of a medical strip plaza.  Dentists, pharmacies, that sort of thing.  Across the street was a vacant field.

I think there was a barbershop or something in the plaza, or hair dresser if you will.  This one Mississauga kid came in to check us out.  He was related to someone who worked at the hair dresser.  He was into dance music and had lots of questions.

“Do you buy CDs?  My cousin is a DJ and he has a lot.”

“Yes we do, get him to bring them in and I will go through them and see what we can use.”

“He has really cool dance music.”

“Right on, yeah, bring it in and I’ll have a look.”

“How many can you take?”

“Well I’ll have to have a look first, but you can bring in as many as you want and I’ll sort through them and let you know.”

“How much can he get for them?  He has really great dance music that’s hard to find, he bought them on import from Europe.  These are all artists that are really big in Europe.”

Egads.  That was never something I wanted to hear.  Dance music that was “big in Europe” usually sat for months on our shelves because, well, Canada is not in Europe.  I went through the spiel.

“Well we offer between $1 and $7 cash each for CDs, and 20% more for credit.  It’ll depend on what kind of shape they’re in, what they retail for, and if we have any in stock already.  So bring them in and I’ll have a look.”

“So, like $5 each then?”

The kid did indeed have a lot of questions.  Eventually he was all questioned out, and returned a few hours later with a big box of CDs.  As promised, mostly dance music from Europe with a couple American and Canadian titles sprinkled in there.

“OK, give me an hour or so and I’ll have these all priced out for you.”

“Can you give me an idea?”

Jesus.  “No, I haven’t even started looking at them yet.  If you want to go and grab a coffee, I’ll need about an hour to sort through these.”

There was absolutely nowhere to grab a coffee nearby, I just needed him our of my hair.

I sorted through the discs, and most of them were in pretty bad shape.  Scratched, with some damaged booklets.  We always offered less for scratched discs because we had to pay a third party company to buff the scratches out.  We had already nickle-and-dimed the third party CD fixers to death, but we generally deducted $2 from the offer for discs that were scratched.  Plus a lot of these were older titles, and that meant the fad was often over on them.  So the kid wasn’t going to be getting full value.  I was sure that would be easy to explain to him…not.

I had no idea who many of these artists were.  Mississauga was definitely more into dance music than the more…eh…white trash of Kitchener-Waterloo.  But this was not a busy store, and we really had no idea what was going to sell or sit for years.  I looked the artists up, disc by disc, and passed on the majority simply because I could not find out a single thing about them.  The thing about buying discs like that was that I was always second-guessing myself.  The last thing I wanted was to get in shit for buying shit!  I played it on the safe side and decided to take a small token number.

I called the kid over and went through his discs stack by stack.  “The ones back in the box I can’t take — they are just too damaged, too obscure, or both.”

“But this guy here is really big in Europe right now.”

I had to be blunt.  “Yeah, I know, but this isn’t Europe and I have a really hard time selling stuff like this.”

“Lots of people are looking for these man.”

“I’m sorry but I just can’t give you anything for those.  I just can’t find out anything about them and sometimes obscure dance music can sit for years.  A lot of these are from the 90s.”

The kid was clearly disappointed but I went on.

“These ones here are a bit scratched but I can fix them up.  These here are worth $3 each and these are worth $2 each.”

“$2 what?  My cousin paid $40 for that one at HMV.”

He could very well have been right…back in 1997.  I had no way of knowing what its present value was.  I kept going.

“These ones are in great shape,” I said trying to butter him up.  “I can give you $5 for this one, $4 for this one, and $2 each for these because I have a couple copies already and could only buy these for our bargain bin.  All together, I can give you $47 cash or $55 credit.”

“$55 that’s it?”

“$55 credit,” I corrected.  “Or $47 cash.”

“What’s credit?” the kid asked.

“That’s if you wanted to buy something in the store, I’ll give you $55 to spend here.  Or you can have $47 cash.”

“That’s all I can get for these?  If you take them all you can have the whole box for $150.”

Blunt time again.  “Man, I can’t even stock them all, some of them are in un-sellable condition.”  But not too blunt.  I couldn’t just say, “Kid, these are all crap.”

“But they all play fine, my cousin’s a DJ.”

Of course he is.  That’s how they got so banged up.

“It’s not about how they play, it’s also about how they look.  We want to sell our customers CDs that look and sound new.”

“So all of these CDs behind you are brand new?” the kid continued to interrogate.

“No, they’re used, but if everybody’s been doing their job right, they’re all in mint or near perfect condition.”  I paused a moment and threw him a bone.  “Listen I’ll round it up to an even $50 cash but that’s really the best I can do for these.”

The kid took back every disc except for the one I had offered $5 on.  He sold that title to me, and walked with the rest.

And that’s how you spend over an hour working for a measly $5 of inventory!

 

 

$5 Polymer Note - Bank of Canada

 

 

 

 

 

 

#995: Terminology

RECORD STORE TALES #995: Terminology

All of us music-heads do it:  we like to celebrate the anniversaries of our favourite (and occasionally not-so-favourite) albums!  But how do you like to say it?  That’s up to you.  Is there a right and wrong way to do it?

I’ll tell you one thing you’ll never hear me say:  “This album dropped on this day…”

I do not use the word “dropped” to refer to an album release.  I know that’s what the kids say today.  That’s precisely why I won’t say it.

A lot people say “Celebrate the anniversary of this album’s release today…” which is perfectly fine.  No issue.  Lots of big words that my fat thumbs have trouble typing on my phone though.

So I choose something simple and easy for my fingers to mash out on my phone while I’m eating my Cheerios.  I choose to say “Happy birthday to this album!”

I don’t write long album birthday posts.  Instead I simply paste the link to my review (when applicable) and post “Happy birthday!”  I figure the review has most of the info if anybody cares enough to click it.

Two people have questioned my use of the word “birthday” in this context:  rock journalist Mitch Lafon, and one loyal LeBrain Train viewer who you might be able to guess.  I get it, I really do.  Wishing “happy birthday” to an album?  Is an album “born”?

According to Merriam Webster dictionary, the word “birth” can also mean “to give rise to”.  Even so, I like to have fun with words and use them in ways not always intended.  I’m also not the only person to wish a “happy birthday” to an inanimate object.

Look, it’s real simple.  I won’t say “dropped”, and I don’t like the word “anniversary” (or typing it with my thumbs).  I’ve chosen “happy birthday” for my album anniversary celebrations, and I think most people understand “Oh, he means it must have been released on this day.”  I find a lot of arguments in the music community comes down to what I consider semantics.  You’ll see all kinds of debates on what “metal” really is, or what qualifies members of a band as “original”.  We care about these things because we’re music fans.

Admittedly, for me to type “Happy birthday!” on social media for an album, instead of a proper sentence about its release, is an act of laziness.  But social media itself is an embodiment of laziness so I won’t apologize for that.

How do you post about an album’s anniversary?  Are albums “born”?  Does anyone actually care about English anymore?  Let us know in the comments.

#994: An A5 Canada Day

RECORD STORE TALES #994: An A5 Canada Day

From Jen and I here at LeBrain HQ, we hope you had an excellent Canada Day.  For us, we did things a little differently this time, and it turned out aces!

First, I awoke early and began work at 6:00 AM on two separate projects.  Musically:  the hinted-at, overdue Kiss project that I have been working on and must be finished!  This is a collaboration with new contributor Jonathan Lee.  We have taken on the challenge of ranking all 24 Kiss albums, and we (coincidentally!) wrote about 3650 words each.  We were in synch with verbosity, but not rankings!  The final lists will be dropped simultaneously in two posts on July 5, next week!  It was Jonathan who challenged me to take him up on this project and I think you will like what we both came up with.  It took a few hours to format everything right, but by the end of the morning, I had the lists ready to rock.

In conjunction with this, I was seasoning my new cast iron pan.  This had to be done in preparation for our Canada Day dinner’s main course:  a genuine Japanese A5 wagyu steak from the Miyazaki prefecture.  This expensive piece of meat is unlike I have ever cooked before, and I had something of a sleepless, anxious night overthinking it.

By morning, I had a plan.  The wagyu was going in the cast iron pan with some butter, garlic, onions, peppers, portobello mushrooms, and asparagus.  Therefore I needed to season the pan in the oven beforehand, and I spent several hours on that while also working on the Kiss lists.  For never having done it before, I think it turned out pretty well.  Its surface became smoother, and water beaded off.

In the afternoon we headed over to my parents house to use their new barbecue.  You see, having never cooked wagyu before, we decided to bring some backup steaks.  I was going to cook them on the barbecue the normal way, while doing the wagyu in the pan.  Meanwhile, Jen was roasting veggies in the oven with enormous amounts of butter and hand-diced garlic.  The garlic was intense, but to die for.  Her potatoes, carrots and asparagus were amazing.

Timing was everything.  We started at 4:00 PM with the veggies.  By 4:35 the barbecue was warming up for the backup steaks.  Meanwhile, the cast iron pan was warming up in the oven.

Finally, the moment I had been waiting for all week.  The moment that kept me up the previous night.  The moment of truth!  The wagyu was, as all the Youtube videos promised, delicate to the touch.  The fat began melting as soon as I touched it.  Although everyone seems to have different rules about it, I elected to keep the wagyu in the fridge as long as possible to minimise the premature melting of fat.  Then I seasoned with salt and pepper to taste.  In hindsight I could have gone a teeny tiny bit heavier on the salt and pepper, but you can always add that after the fact as well.

The cast iron came out of the oven and onto a hot burner.  Into the pan went a generous amount of butter and my veggies including several cloves of garlic.  A few minutes later, things were smelling wonderful and I flipped the steak – not before touching the handle of the pan with my bare hands though!  Fortunately it had cooled enough that I didn’t burn myself.  These new cooking techniques take some getting used to.  After a couple more minutes I removed the wagyu from the pan, and let it rest.  When sliced, it was somewhere between rare and medium rare, which was what I was aiming for.  Meanwhile our backup steaks were also ready at a perfect medium rare.  It was 5:00 by the time everything was done and rested.

 

A wagyu steak is a sharing steak.  It is simply too rich to eat like a normal steak.  I served up some portions for each of us, and we delighted in eat bite.  Some went with carrots – Jen’s favourite combination.  I enjoyed the wagyu with the portobello mushrooms, or a clove of garlic.  Because it is so rich, we tended to pair it with other things on the plate.  The cast iron did a nice job of creating a beautiful caramelizing on the vegetables.  The wagyu had a great sear.  The pan also cleaned up easily afterwards.  No stick.  I must have seasoned it right?

We barely touched the backup steaks (they will go into another meal) and we finished just over half of the wagyu.  This is what I expected.  I wonder what that wagyu will become tomorrow?  A stir fry, most likely.  Wagyu stir fry.  Looking forward to it — and many more meals with my new cast iron pan.

Having enjoyed wagyu at one of the best steakhouses in Toronto, my own steak stacked up well.  I would rank them just about equally.  Theirs had more seasoning, but our side dishes surpassed theirs by far.  Miles.  No comparison.  Our sides were incredible.  Modesty?  This is me being modest!  And all told, our meal was about a third of the price of the steakhouse.  With  more steak and more leftovers.  Jen and I both worked hard Canada Day, and it paid off.  Best meal we ever made, and we did it as a team!  She picked up all the meat, veggies, and even the pan.  We timed everything perfectly.  It went so well that we determined we don’t need backup steaks next time.

With the Kiss project, Stranger Things, and a massive dinner taking up my time, it was the end of the Canada Day before I realized, “Hey, I haven’t listened to any Canadian music today”.  So my friends, here’s some Max the Axe.  Turn it up.

#993: IAM

RECORD STORE TALES #993: IAM

Rest in peace, Shannon Larratt.  Rest in peace, Rachel Larratt.  Both gone now, hopefully to a better place.

In the decades before the WordPress community, there was one place I could go to feel like I belonged.  In 1999, a Toronto native named Shannon Larratt created a community.  He called it “IAM” – “I am” – and it was a place for tattooed and/or pierced individuals to feel welcome.  You might remember Shannon and Rachel from their brief cameo in the Kevin Smith movie Clerks II.  Remember the “freaks”?  That was Shannon and Rachel.

I joined in the year 2000 and began making new friends, close and far.  Sarge was on there.  The Legendary Klopeks were on there.  The Lizardman was on there.  Dan Slessor from Kerrang Magazine, though Kerrang was still in his future.  It was growing, and growing fast.

IAM was different.  Shannon ensured it was not just a safe place, but also a cool place.  You could pay for a membership, or just submit stories and photos for credit.  I did both, but mostly paid, because I wanted to support the community, as did most people.  It’s hard to describe just what made it so special.  It was set as my home page on my browser.  I even had an app in the toolbar that notified me when I had new IAM messages.  I’d open my window and in front of me would be a grid of photos — the most recent IAM profiles that posted updates, in the form of a blog or photos.  It was always exciting to see a friend or girl that I liked post an update!  Or someone who had not been around a while.

There was one character named Raynutz.  He had no visible piercings or tattoos (the one and only qualifier for membership), and his was the very very last profile on the grid (which you could skip through page by page).  This meant it was one of the oldest since his first post was his only post.  All he had was a mullet and a pair of Ray-Bans.  Nobody knew the story behind Raynutz.  I always suspected it was a joke test account made by Shannon, but he would never tell.  Raynutz became pure legend by not interacting with people at all.  Hundreds of messages were sent to his inbox; nobody received a reply.  This eventually led to Shannon selling a “Raynutz Ate My Balls” T-shirt.

Sarge told me he knew the identity of Raynutz, but could never reveal it.

The Raynutz Ate My Balls shirt eventually inspired Sarge to create the popular Purp Ate My Balls shirt, with my face on it.  I went by the name “Purpendicular” after a favourite Deep Purple album.  At one point, I deleted my account after a bad day at work, but I received so many “what happened?” emails that I decided to come back.  I decided on a fresh start with the name “Dewey Finn”, named after Jack Black’s character in School of Rock.  As such, I decided to create a discussion forum called “School of Rock” where each day I would prepare “lessons” for the “class”.  Obscure rock trivia stuff, like listing all the Black Sabbath singers right down to Dave Walker and Rob Halford.  It became so popular that the School of Rock forum was one of the site’s most popular, third only to Shannon’s and my own personal journals!  At least for a couple weeks, I topped the charts!  I learned quickly that keeping up that pace was impossible and eventually I slid down the charts, but usually remained in the top 20.  It was fun and a precursor to becoming LeBrain.

What about that journal?  You guessed it — those journal entries formed the basis of many of the original (and ongoing) Record Store Tales.  Unfortunately I lost many of them when I deleted my Purpendicular profile and started Dewey Finn, and I wish I hadn’t.  I posted reviews, record reviews, and all sorts of personal stuff that I wish I still had.  Incriminating evidence against the people at the Record Store who were making life miserable for me.  Actual records of the days that “the bully” decided not to speak to me for three weeks at a time.  Customer stories galore.  Writings of what I was listening to and when.  I had so much good shit in there!  I posted minimum five times per day, with lists, pictures or stories.  One of my biggest regrets is hitting that delete button.  I remember Shannon wrote some funny code into it.  When you confirmed you wanted to delete your IAM page, the text came back, “Your IAM page is now deleted, throw your computer in the garbage.”

They had big BMEcons in Toronto.  People would come from all around the world.  They’d get tattooed, pierced, suspended, drunk, high, who knows!  I didn’t go, but I do know it was a good time with music and fellowship.

My interaction with Shannon was minimal, and none with Rachel, who continued on with the site after he passed.  Now I have heard that Rachel is gone too.  It seems surreal.  We lost Sarge earlier this year too.  Fortunately most of us are still around.  Mike, Liz, Shoe, and RooRaaah (those are all real names not aliases) are still my friends.  Shoe used to live in England, and now resides in Toronto, but I still have an old mix tape that she sent me from the UK back in 2002 or 2003.  Mix TAPE.

The only elephant remaining in the room might be the question “didja meet any girls there?”  I refer you to Record Store Tales #909:  2000 Dates and the girl I dubbed “Guelph #2”!  There were others — the girl that dumped me while I was in a hotel room in Barrie Ontario was an IAM girl.  The last of them was Thunder Bay Girl, who I swear to this day probably dumped all the hundreds of cassettes that I gave her into the landfill.  I was 30 and she was in her early 20s and I was learning that age did matter.  It was a lot of fun hanging out with these girls with hardware in their nips but I was emotionally in an unhappy place and I eventually realized that dating these young goth girls wasn’t the answer.

Here’s something interesting though.  In those IAM days, I thought that I hadn’t really figured out who I was yet.  But there I was the whole time:  the music-mad journaling guy, documenting the minutia of life.  And the Record Store Tales will continue on.