GUEST REVIEW: Kix – Midnite Dynamite (1985)

Guest review by Holen MaGroin – part 3 in his KIX series

KIX – Midnite Dynamite (1985 Atlantic)

In 1985, Kix returned after two commercially unsuccessful albums, with what they consider to be their magnum opus, Midnight Dynamite. This is where the new wave styles of the first two records take a backseat to the hard rock influences. Later on, they’d completely shun their new wave influences by kicking them out of the car, and making new wave watch hard rock shag its girlfriend. For now, the blend was still somewhat apparent, but with the mix changed.

Produced by Lebrain’s favorite producer of all time (Beau Hill), Midnight Dynamite definitely sounds like its era, much more so than the debut or Cool Kids. For the first time we get some electronic percussion thrown into the mix and it is the first album by Kix to feature synthesizers in a prominent role. This could have been disastrous, but luckily Kix utilizes them to color the sound and they don’t diminish the hard edge of the guitars one iota. This is a hard rock record first and foremost, and with Ronnie “10/10” Younkins back in the mix, the guitar duo of the first album is reestablished. Pressured once again to work with outside writers, the primary guy for the job is Bob Halligan Jr. If the name sounds familiar, it could be because he wrote two songs for Judas Priest (“Take These Chains” & “Some Heads Are Gonna Roll”), and co-wrote with Icon on their second album Night of the Crime. Boasting some impressive credentials, the songwriting takes a step up this time around. Nearly all the songs are collaborations between bassist Donnie Purnell and Halligan.

The album is jump started by the title track. A slow and heavy number, it was a bold choice to open an album with.  Fortunately for Kix, it completely works. The intensity of the verses builds up tension for the ridiculously catchy harmonies in pre-chorus, where we finally get the big payoff during the chorus. This is melodic hard rock done right, without the frills that are usually associated with AOR or other bands of the time period. Kix made sure that the material had balls, something that many other bands of the time period eschewed for chart success. The intensity of the title track is followed by the erotic “Red Hot (Black & Blue)” with a sleazy stuttering riff. The production on this song is a little heavy handed with the reverse reverb in the verses, but it’s nothing that ruins the impact. Another song with dynamics, the verses stutter along with spunk, until the chorus where that Kix fire is unleashed. Some pretty cheesy lyrics, but if you weren’t prepared for that then why would you be reading a Kix review?

One of Beau’s buddies Kip Winger earns himself a writing credit on track number 3, “Bang Bang (Balls of Fire)”. As you can tell by the title, it’s one of the more generic rock songs on the album. It’s one of the least substantial, but it’s still an enjoyable tune. “Layin’ Rubber” is much better, as all the elements that make up the Kix sound are blended masterfully. Obviously more hard rock orientated than material of the past, the track features bubblegum pop chants before launching into a hard rock riff, while the intensity of the music elevates as the song goes on. Each section of the song’s structure is composed to perfectly transition into the next. One of the best tracks on the album, it manages to be damn brutal, and also catchy as shit.

The rest of the album proceeds in this manner, blistering hard rock tunes with undeniably catchy melodies that are never too sugary enough to make you sick to your stomach. There is only one ballad “Walkin’ Away”, which is built on synthesizers, but has enough of a kick to be enjoyable. “Cold Shower” was the other single, which features some rap like vocals in the verses and singer Steve Whiteman hitting some glass shattering notes before the chorus. It’s one of the most eccentric tunes on the album, and I’m surprised it was picked as a single.

Surprising songs or not, this album is one of the most underrated of the era. It’s a mystery as to why it didn’t sell better than it did. Label indifference? If you’re a fan of the rock music, you owe it to yourself to pick up this album and the even better follow up Blow My Fuse.

4.75/5 stars

A note for Kiss fans, Anton Fig plays drums on the last two tracks because Jimmy “Chocolate” Chalfant had broken his arm.

Blu-ray REVIEW: Family Guy – “It’s a Trap!” (2010)

FAMILY GUY – “It’s a Trap!” (2010 20th Century Fox)

First, they did Star Wars. Due to popular demand, they did Empire next.  And just as Jedi was the weakest of the original trilogy, so is Family Guy’s version.

The full 57 minute episode “It’s A Trap!”, available on its own for those who only like the Star Wars spoofs, follows the same concept as the first two.  Favourite Family Guy characters portray the legendary characters from Star Wars.  After two, though, the well seems rather dry.  Presumably running out of original characters, they peppered the cast with characters from both American Dad and The Cleveland Show.  Rollo Brown, Klaus the Fish and Roger the Alien are some of the characters making a Family Guy appearance in the Star Wars universe.

Still, it must have been awful dry in that well when they were writing this.

“It’s A Trap!” had moments that were as funny as any previous Family Guy Star Wars.  Then there were stretches that that were as dull and uninspired as Seth MacFarlane’s worst. It was very much a rocky ride, but luckily the good outweighed the bad in this episode.

Likes:

  • As always, the surprise of what characters are playing who (which I won’t spoil, google it if you must know).
  • Many celebrity cameos (again I won’t give you spoilers).
  • The Emperor rocked.
  • Looked awesome in 1080p.
  • Ample bonus features (similar to previous instalments). Even the Trivial Pursuit challenge was fun for one viewing.

Dislikes:

  • Boring Yoda.
  • One scene where Peter/Han snaps and torments three Imperial officers…just took it too far.
  • MacFarlane likes jokes that go on too long, but they didn’t work this time.

Pick it up and complete your trilogy.

Or, you know, just watch it on Netflix.

3/5 stars

And, no — there is next to a 0% chance that Disney will let Seth do any more Star Wars.

Gallery: LeBrain Day Fun

Another spin ’round the sun, another basket full of goodies!

Thank you everyone for the birthday wishes.  Here are some of my favourites.  You might recognise some of these people!

 

 

 

 

 

Had a lovely dinner at Borealis with the family & Dr. Kathryn.  And so we get to the gifts!

First up!  A signed first edition copy of Dr. Ladano’s The Improvising Musician’s Mask:  Using Musical Instruments to Build Self-Confidence and Social Skills in Collective Free Improvisation.  That’s a mouthful and a generous gift.  These books aren’t cheap, even for her!  The funny thing is that when I grabbed the wrapped hardcover-shaped package, I said “I hope this is a copy of your book,” but I didn’t actually think it would be out so soon!

Dr. Kathryn also gifted me some music.  Ho!  It’s Derek Smalls’ debut solo album Smalls Change!  Appropriately considering the occasion, it is subtitled Meditations Upon Ageing.  I can’t wait to spin this one.  She also got me this nifty Worf (Star Trek) not-Lego head.  These look great in the office.  I have Spock as well.

The lovely Mrs. LeBrain was amazing to me as well.  She trekked up to Encore Records where she met my old pals Al “The” King and Chris Boyne.  They hooked her up with some live Ghost, on vinyl.  This is my first Ghost vinyl.  Ceremony and Devotion is a great album, and the vinyl has two “exclusive” songs…that are also on the CD!  Anybody know what’s up with that?

It doesn’t really matter.  Double live albums have a certain intangible quality that almost always makes them better on vinyl.  Scientists have been trying to figure out why that is since the advent of digital media.

Since my wife also dresses me, check out the cool shirts.  I think I’m going to wear that getup to work tomorrow.  Han Solo and BB-8 look awesome together.

Thanks again everyone for the happy birthday wishes.  I keep getting older, and you keep getting awesome-er!

 

 

#694: The Lost Intro

It’s my birthday today so I thought I’d share something special!

The Lost Intro

The original plan, and who knows, maybe still the final destination of Record Store Tales, was to publish a book.  I had been working on the book, in spurts, and that’s where the first batch of Record Store Tales originated.  The way it was taking shape, I had a number of chapters focused on childhood before starting work at the Record Store.  When I posted it all online, Record Store Tales Part 5:  The Dream Job was the transition point.  In my original drafts it was actually Chapter 11.  I figured for the online crowd I should cut to the chase more quickly.  But the early chapters are still on disc, including a massive (5500 word) unpublished instalment titled “1986”!

Now, here’s a detail that I forgot about:  my original nom de plume!

This is before I acquired the name “LeBrain” via my radio experiences.  I remember that only a handful of people had read what would become Record Store Tales, including good ol’ Aaron at the KMA.  Via my discussions with Aaron over my work in progress, I decided on the pen-name…Johnny Cock.

I don’t know how much influence Aaron had over that decision, but I can confirm that he must have known about and endorsed my use of the pseudonym Johnny Cock.

Anyway.

The working title before settling upon “Record Store Tales” was actually “Rock, Rock, ‘Til You Drop” (stolen from the Def Leppard song of the same name), though the phrase “record store tales” was already in the text.  And, apparently I wrote an intro to the whole thing.  So here it is!  The unpublished intro to Rock, Rock, ‘Til You Drop by Johnny Cock, later to become Record Store Tales by Mike Ladano.

 

 

 

ROCK, ROCK, ‘TIL YOU DROP

Musings and Tales

Of Growing Up in the 80’s

And Running an Indi Record Store in the 90’s.

By Johnny Cock

 
 

Intro

 

Before we get seriously into the record store tales, I think it’s important for you, the reader, to know who’s talking to you.  After all, I’m a real guy and these are real stories.  Only the names have been changed to protect the guilty.  I’m a bit of a narcissist, and I can’t resist talking about myself even though I’m no more interesting than you.  I just think it’s important for you to know who your storyteller is before we get down to the serious business about working in a record store.

So, I trust you will indulge me a few chapters to just talk to you about what it was like growing up in Kitchener, Ontario during the 80’s, getting into heavy metal music, which evolved into managing an indi new/used record store in the 90’s.  After all, context is always important.  These stories are relevant in the sense that they happened to me, and my reactions are part of the stories, and to fully understand how I react, you have to know a bit about me.  I’ve tried to make these introductory tales as entertaining as possible.  I hope you can relate, and I hope you enjoy.  It’ll be worth it, trust me.

You always wanted to work in a record store?  Yeah, me too.  That was, until I’d done it for 12 years.  By then I had had enough.  I had enough of Creepy Danny.  I had enough of Crazy Eskimo Woman.  I had enough of the Creepy Twins, thieves, bosses, Nickelback, crappy scratched up Dance Mix CDs that were over 10 years old, people throwing shit at me; I just plain had enough.

Now I am out, and I can reflect back with a certain nostalgia.  I am Johnny Cock.  This is my story.

 

“I am Johnny Cock”.  Am I ever glad I changed that.  Jesus!

Obviously, with the latest chapters under the Getting More Tale banner, I’ve gone back to using childhood stories as a major source of material.  This has proven to be very popular even though they are sometimes only tangential to music.  That’s one of the bonuses to posting the chapters online.  I get the instant gratification of feedback, and I can mold future stories around it.

As for the rest of the lost chapters?

I think they’ve been lost long enough.

 

Gallery: TFCon 2018

TFCon in Toronto has become another tradition of Sausagefest-scale epic-ness for me. Coming the weekend just after ‘Fest, it help blunts the withdrawal. Jay and I left Kitchener promptly at 8 am. We planned to buy the “early bird” passes that got us onto the dealer floor two hours before general admission. That’s what we did last year, though it’s not really necessary.

I hoped to pick up a specific Toronto exclusive: Maketoys’ “Maestro” (a third party version of Generation 2 Jazz complete with deco), and that was first mission accomplished ($140 from The Chosen Prime). Its lovely clamshell packaging is an homage to its 1993 “G2” counterpart. There was no line for this particular exclusive, and they had lots left by the time we departed around noon.

Maketoys Maestro (aka G2 Jazz)

As usual we had a great time, but with a couple gripes. Last year the early admission came with a shaving kit and a bottle of water — this year nothing! (I’m only partially griping, but I heard two other guys having the exact same conversation as us. And just like us, “I still haven’t used that shaving kit.”)

Our other complaint were the people with the fucking backpacks.  Everybody under the age of 30 seemed to be sporting backpacks of varying practicality, but weren’t seeming to be buying things to put in the backpacks.  Just as bad:  the people in stupid outfits that had nothing to do with Transformers.  We saw some witches and some things that were probably anime references, and a few people sporting swords.  There was only one Bumblebee, one Prime, and one Ratchet.  Optimus Prime’s dad was dressed as Sparkplug Witwicky.

Beast Wars Megatron and Sparkplug Witwicky

To us a lot of people seemed to be there to be “seen” rather than be there for the awesome Transformers.  90% of the floor space is dedicated to collectable robots that turn into stuff.  Know what kind of event you’re going to, people!

Bitching aside, we both did well.

Jay bought the cool hologram-looking lights seen in the video above, one each for his two boys. You can hear the creator discuss pricing in the video. Jay also got a great price on a black Encore reissue of G1 Ironhide, just $20.

Jay’s best score:  he picked up Fanshobby “Megatooth” (third party G1 Repugnus), a figure I had been eyeing myself. It has chromed plastic mandibles and claws, which is considered a premium finish for figure collectors.

Fanshobby Megatooth (far right)

A look at my purchases below:

  • Takara Masterpiece MP-15/16-E Cassettebots vs. Cassettetrons.  Compatible with MP Soundwave in cassette modes.
  • KFC Kingzilla (third party MP G1 Snapdragon) with headmaster and triple-changing.
  • Fanstoys Spindrift (third party MP G1 Seaspray)
  • Maketoys Maestro (third party MP G2 Jazz)
  • Hasbro Hun-grrrr, which completes the set I only began last Friday at the beginning of Sausagefest!  Hun-Grrr becomes the torso of the combining Terrorcons, forming the evil Abominus.

Check out some of the cool sights below.  In this gallery:  prototypes of figures yet to come, and some customs as well.

And finally, some of the best of the cool stuff for sale.

Jay knows how to do this stuff.  I saw him negotiate $20 on a red B.A.P.E. Optimus Prime, and it was done with…art, really.  There was an art to it and both guys were happy with the outcome.

With us, we do TFCon right.  We won’t make you dodge our backpacks.  We’re smart about it.  When we buy a couple large items, we take them to the truck and go back in.  It’s a Transformers convention, not a campout.  And I sure as fuck wouldn’t dress up as a Jedi if I’m going to TFCon.

But whatever!  It was fun as these photos show.  Can’t wait for next summer.

 

 

 

 

 

 

Sunday Chuckle: Uncle Meat Loses the Darndest Things

I have learned that Uncle Meat loses things.

Sunday morning after Sausagefest, we had to find his phone.  Its battery ran out, and he didn’t know where it was.  Couldn’t leave without it.  There were a few places to look.  One of which was “the place he took his last shit”.  I was not going to look there.  He could search the shit section.  We got all hands on deck and started sweeping.

I found the phone…in the car.  Crisis averted.

Then, as we were driving up the hill on our way out of the valley, he said “Stop the car.”

“I need to find my shorts.  I know I packed them.  Better we do this now than worry. Open the trunk.”

Meat went out back and started digging for his shorts.  Dig dig dig.

Then he said, “You are going to be so mad at me.”

He got back into the car and said “I’m wearing them.”

Nah, I don’t get mad.  I just turn it into a Sunday Chuckle!

 

#692: Summer of the Album

GETTING MORE TALE #692: Summer of the Album

I’ve had the same routine for over 10 years: get to work, turn on the radio, and listen. I would occasionally hear new bands that I had to get into. I wouldn’t want to do without Greta Van Fleet, Royal Blood, or A Rebel Few in my life. But every routine eventually gets stale.

For the last several weeks I’ve been trying something different. No matter how much radio tries to shake it up, you are guaranteed to hear certain songs and bands every single day. AC/DC, for example, are a radio staple. You will hear them on rock stations every single day, usually from a pool of 10 to 12 songs. In my regular daily album-listening life, I don’t actually listen to AC/DC that often. In fact, I’m less likely to listen to AC/DC when I hear them on the radio daily.

At the recommendation of Uncle Meat I’ve been loading up flash drives and bringing them to work instead. This has enabled me to not only listen to whoever I feel like, but also given me the ability to play full albums.

The first day without radio was an interesting experiment. In the morning, I played the entire Max Webster The Party box set in its completion. In the afternoon, an album I hadn’t played in years: Neil Diamond’s 20th Century Masters! Part of doing without radio is forcing myself to listen to albums that don’t get regular rotation at home. Especially multi-disc sets. It’s easy to listen to a box set when you’re seated at the same desk for eight hours.

A nice big flash drive means I have hundreds of my favourite albums available at a click, but there are pros and cons.

PROS:

1. The chance to spend my listening time with my own music; hopefully neglected music.
2. Hearing full albums.
3. The ability to “pause” when I am interrupted and have to do something else.

CONS:

1. No traffic or news reports.
2. A feeling of disconnection from the community and friends during the day.
3. Missing those new tunes and rarities that sometimes surprise you on the radio.
4. Going from a stereo radio behind me to a mono speaker in front of me.

It was really weird going without the morning radio news reports at first, but I’m used to it now.

This far into the journey I’ve played virtually every studio album by Kiss and Black Sabbath.  I’m working my way through Priest next, and a whole bunch of soundtracks. I actually played Jeff Wayne’s legendary War of the Worlds musical two days in a row, so enthralled was I with the album.  Featuring Justin Hayward, Richard Burton, and Philip flippin’ Lynott, it is an album I am glad to have finally caught up on.  It’s the kind of thing you need to have the time to play, the more the better.

Hopefully, listening to more albums will enable me to review more albums. The unfortunate thing is not being exposed to new and unfamiliar songs. I’ll just have to rely on readers and other sources for that.

With flash drives by my side, 2018 will be the Summer of the Album. Let’s see how this experiment works!

 

#S18-5: The Countdown (2018 version)

01 Shake Your Tail Feather – Ray Charles
02 10001110101 – Clutch
03 Burn in Hell – Twisted Sister
04 White Room – Cream
05 Sasquatch – Tenacious D
06 My Thang – James Brown
07 Hocus Pocus – Focus
08 Bullet in the Head – Rage Against the Machine
09 My God – Jethro Tull
10 Time of the Season – The Zombies
11 Carry On – Crosby, Stills & Nash
12 Papa Was a Rolling Stone – Sly & the Family Stone
13 Grendel – Marillion

14 DDPP – Five Alarm Funk
15 Starman – David Bowie
16 Stinkfist – Tool
17 Red Tide Rising – Orange Goblin
18 Child in Time (Made in Japan) – Deep Purple
19 Roadie – Tenacious D
20 The Pot – Tool
21 Livin’ Thing – Electric Light Orchestra
22 A Little Less Conversation – Elvis Presley
23 Killers – Iron Maiden
24 Iceberg – Five Alarm Funk
25 25 Minutes to Go – Johnny Cash
26 Watermelon Man – Herbie Hancock
27 Black Sabbath – Black Sabbath
28 Have a Cigar – Pink Floyd
29 The Most Beautiful Girl in the Room – Flight of the Conchords
30 Seasons in the Abyss – Slayer

31 Ophelia – The Band
32 Hey Ladies – Beastie Boys
33 Tin Foil Hat – Scott Dunbar
34 SpaceGrass – Clutch
35 Glamour Boy – The Guess Who
36 Peace of Mind – Boston
37 Cemetary Gates – Pantera
38 The Zoo (Worldwide Live) – Scorpions
39 Sign of the Gypsy Queen – April Wine
40 Any Way You Want It – Journey
41 Dirty Work – Steely Dan
42 Love Me Like a Reptile – Motorhead
43 Couldn’t Stand the Weather – Stevie Ray Vaughan
44 Waterloo Sunset – The Kinks
45 Dragon Attack – Queen
46 Let There Be Rock – AC/DC
47 Careful With That Axe Eugene – Pink Floyd
48 Afternoon Delight – The Starland Vocal Band
49 Simple Man – Lynyrd Skynyrd
50 Wasn’t That a Party – The Irish Rovers
51 Land of 1000 Dances – Wilson Pickett
52 Kashmir – Led Zeppelin
53 Breakdown – Tom Petty

54 Battery – Metallica
55 Demons Be Gone – Five Alarm Funk
56 I’m My Own Grandpa – Willie Nelson
57 Because I Got High – Afroman
58 Rubbernecker – Grand Funk Railroad
59 Telephone Line – Electric Light Orchestra
60 Fatso Forgotso – Kyuss
61 Lay Down – Priestess
62 Last of the V8 Interceptors – Sheavy
63 In the Summertime – Mungo Jerry
64 Renegade – Styx
65 Rubber Biscuit – The Blues Brothers
66 Black Betty – Ram Jam
67 Try a Little Tenderness – Otis Redding
68 Aces High (Live After Death) – Iron Maiden
69 Saturn III – Fu Manchu
70 Electric Eye – Judas Priest
71 Cortez the Killer – Neil Young
72 If I Only Knew – Tom Jones
73 Light Up – Styx
74 Suicide and Redemption – Metallica
75 My Own Bare Hands – Ween
76 Nowhere Man – The Beatles
77 Street Fightin Man – Street Fighting Man
78 Mouth For War – Pantera
79 Sir Duke – Stevie Wonder
80 California Dreaming – The Mamas and the Papas
81 It’s Late – Queen

82 Fire – Jimi Hendrix
83 The Hardest Button to Button – The White Stripes
84 Touch Too Much – AC/DC
85 Tres Brujas – The Sword
86 Am I Evil? – Metallica/Diamond Head mashup
87 Insane in the Membrane – Cypress Hill
88 Harold on the Rocks – Primus
89 Spin the Black Circle – Pearl Jam
90 Guns Guns Guns – The Guess Who
91 Dissident Aggressor – Judas Priest
92 Ozone Baby – Led Zeppelin
93 Sure Shot – Beastie Boys
94 Emerald – Thin Lizzy
95 The Grudge – Tool
96 Fireworks – The Tragically Hip
97 Cars – Gary Numan
98 What’s Wrong with the World Today – Flight of the Conchords
99 Billion Dollar Babies – Alice Cooper
100 Mr. Roboto – Styx