Here at mikeladano.com, we like Amanda Seyfried. She’s an actress who has also done plenty of singing. She has a great voice; check out the song “Mean Old Moon” below from Ted 2. She seems like she has a pretty good sense of humour, appearing in a couple McFarlane films, both of which made fun of her gigantic eyes.
So please welcome Amanda Seyfried to the latest edition of WTF Search Terms! It’s the original series of weird things that somebody thought to type into a search engine and somehow end up here!
1a.porn pictures of ted2 actress lawyer
1b. amanda seyfried feet ted (two searches!)
Here you go, pal. I guess this is the picture (from our Ted 2 review) that he came for!
And here’s the best of the rest for this instalment:
2. a disc of worms on the head
3. flower on shit
4. disgrace for cum
5. fifty shades of piss
6. dwonload full boobsy_animation_whores_wearing_glasses_acquire_screwed_hardcore_
7. leslie easterbrook arrested
8. solo jim carrey def leppard
9. japanese pornogramm
10. porn bonanza gallery
I hope you enjoyed these weird and wonderful search terms. More soon.
Some readers are young enough to never have known a time without the internet. Half my lifetime ago, in 1997, the World Wide Web was was a luxury that few had regular access to. Tom, T-Rev and myself were eager to check out what the web had to offer to a bunch of music geeks. We visited an internet cafe in downtown Kitchener, paid a couple bucks, and searched. Remember Webcrawler?
T-Rev was trying to find rare releases by Steve Earle, and another country rocker named Webb Wilder. Trevor owned his album Doo Dad and wanted to see what Wilder had been up to since. He found a plethora of releases listed on some now-defunct website. He also confirmed the existence of Steve Earle’s very rare debut EP, Pink and Black. Thus the Pink and Black EP became one of T-Rev’s first “Holy Grail” must-haves. Meanwhile, I was exploring previously unseen Deep Purple live albums and compilations.
Together we decided we should join forces and order some impossible-to-find CDs that we knew were out there, but lacked access to. Tom had a friend who had the internet at home: British Phil. What luck! One winter evening we ventured to British Phil’s house and gathered around a small computer monitor in the basement. CDNow was the best online retailer for music. We took turns browsing and deciding. The only one who didn’t order anything was British Phil. Trevor bought Webb Wilder’s Town and Country. I can’t remember what Tom would have chosen, but I remember mine well: Deep Purple’s Stormbringer. It was $30. I had it on cassette, but I was dying to get a CD copy.
British Phil and LeBrain
We pooled our goodies into one order and used my credit card. A week or two later, we each had some new music to enjoy. Our test run went smooth without a hitch. Having proven that ordering music online was safe and easy, the door had opened to hundreds upon hundreds of purchases over the years. Now, it’s simply second nature.
I need some new tunes and have a $25 Amazon gift card to burn. I think I’m going to place an online order right now!
When a band like Cinderella, who only have four studio albums, get a double CD “best of” compilation, it had better be good. Fortunately Cinderella’s edition of the Gold series offers value for the money and unreleased live tracks to boot.
All the Cinderella albums are represented, including the criminally underrated Still Climbing album from 1994. Cinderella did not “go grunge” as so many others did. As “Bad Attitude Shuffle” indicates, they simply doubled down on their own brand of bluesy hard rock with bite. From the same album, “Free Wheelin'” and “Talk is Cheap” both show fearless commitment to the genre. Then the ballad “Through the Rain” also from Still Climbing provides the balance. Cinderella have successfully employed ballads since day one, because they happen to be quite good at them.
Among their greatest ballads: “Don’t Know What You Got (‘Til It’s Gone)”, “Heartbreak Station”, “Coming Home”, “Wind of Change”, and “Nobody’s Fool”. Each one of these tracks is worthy to be on this compilation. Some of their slower material either bordered on blues, or were just flat-out blues songs. Some are here: “Long Cold Winter”, “Dead Man’s Road”, and “Sick For the Cure”. Then there is the soulful “Shelter Me” that is harder to categorize. But of course Cinderella are best known as a hard rock band, and most of the material falls into that vast category. Many of these tunes are truly awesome. “Shake Me” was first to gain attention, with some noting similarities to AC/DC. “Hot and Bothered”, originally from the Wayne’s World soundtrack, combines the blues and rock in a tasty confection. “Second Wind” from Long Cold Winter kicks ass, and “Gypsy Road” is here too, albeit in live form.
The live tracks are all credited to a Japanese promo CD called Last Train to Heartbreak Station, which appears to be a completely different thing from their Japanese EP called Live Train to Heartbreak Station. Rarities are always welcome on a compilation, but one has to wish that the great single “Gypsy Road” was also included in its studio version. It’s a good enough tune that it wouldn’t be a crime to have two versions on the same CD.
Because of their feminine name and some really bad wardrobe choices, Cinderella was written off by many people without hearing any of their rocking material. While that is a real shame, Cinderella hasn’t made a new album in 23 years so this would be a good one-stop-shop to get much of their best material. Augment this baby with a copy of their classic Long Cold Winter CD and you will have enough Cinderella to have a good representation of their best stuff.
“If You Could Only See” was both the song the put Tonic on the map, and the one that put the bullet in their career. If you’re over a certain age, you remember the powerful and tasteful ballad from when it hit the charts in 1997. I had the album already. I bought it when it first came out, after reading a glowing review in the local paper and seeing a used copy pop in at the Record Store. Finding Jack Joseph Puig’s name in the producer credits got my attention too.
Tonic’s debut Lemon Parade is a great sounding CD, thanks to Puig and the richly arranged guitars of Emerson Hart and Jeff Russo. When the guitars are center stage, all is well. The opening duo of “Open Up Your Eyes” and “Casual Affair” have the punch that people don’t always associate with Tonic. These guys could play. “Casual Affair” in particular has angst and emotion ripping out of those six-strings. When they get heavy, like on “Wicked Soldier”, there is always something bright and chiming going on with backing guitars. Check out “Celtic Aggression” for a fine example of their guitar expertise. Emerson Hart has an emotive voice, whether rocking out or serenading the ballads.
It’s the ballads the people remember, and you have to admit that when you break it down, “If You Could Only See” is a fantastic song. Layers of chiming, chugging and sliding guitars are right there beneath the core melodies. On the mandolin-infused “Mountain”, plus “Soldier’s Daughter” and “Lemon Parade”, you can absolutely hear old-tyme southern influences creeping through. Tonic have traits that sound as if from another era, in many ways. These are actually quite great songs, largely forgotten because of that one hit.
There are only a few songs that don’t score top marks: “Thick” (no hooks), “Mr. Golden Deal” & “My Old Man” (both too sleepy). The rest is pretty solid.
Faith No More’s second LP (and major label debut) is their only so far not to have received a deluxe or expanded edition. The bizarre thing about that is that Introduce Yourself is one of their best, totally deserving the honour. Faith No More have several 5/5 star albums in their catalogue, and Introduce Yourself is [spoiler] one of them [end spoiler].
Chuck Mosley was the singer, a bizarre frontman with a totally unique style and a penchant for putting stuff in his dreadlocks. One of his lyrics says it best. On the first Faith No More album, he wrote “They say that when I’m supposed to be singing, all I’m really doing is yelling, oh well…” Mosley’s stuffy-nose stylings are an acquired taste, especially if you have only heard Mike Patton. In Faith No More, it worked and set up what Mike Patton was able to do later on. Mosley is melodic in a bizarre, off key way.
“Faster Disco” isn’t that at all. It’s mid-tempo Faith No More, in the style they created and mastered. There is a chunky guitar riff (or two). There is an underscore of keyboards holding down the melodic foundation. There is a solid beat, and a strangely catchy multi-tracked vocal.
Faith No More are also known for funky Billy Gould bass beats, and that’s “Anne’s Song”. Chuck has a conversational vocal, sorta-rapped, sorta-spoken. It too is strangely memorable, and it was one of two singles.
The title track “Introduce Yourself” is fast and fun, and also lives up to its name! Chuck introduces the band in the lyrics, but the song is so incredibly fast that it’s over in 1:30. Too bad, because it’s awesome. Another style Faith No More are known for is the “dark and ominous” song. “Chinese Arithmetic” is one of those, a weighty track with keyboards providing glimmers of light. One of the strangest tracks is the staggering “Death March”, which is also hilarious. “How much for a transfer, man? 95 cents? Fuck you, I’ll skate to the beach! And look better getting there!”
The most famed track is “We Care a Lot”, the most well known single from this album and also the title track from the prior album. The lyrics were updated and the music re-recorded. This version is the best one, what with that line about “We care a lot / about Transformers, cuz there’s more than meets the eye!”
“R n’ R” is caffeinated Faith No More, blowing down the doors with hard rapping and riffing. Then is “The Crab Song”, which Mike Patton once described as a “sad song”. It has that, and it also has the split personality thing going on. Halfway in, it abruptly changes into a riffy, bass-slappy stomp. At almost six minutes long, it’s one of the earliest examples of Faith No More creating mini-epics by assembling seemingly mismatched components.
Introduce Yourself concludes with a pair of fast, impacting song. “Blood” is carried by a lofty keyboard part, and hammered forth by a relentless Chuck Mosley. Then “Spirit” is the finishing touch, a heavy-as-fuck Jim Martin guitar riff. In the back, drummer Mike Bordin is physically assaulting his kit. Mosley puts his throat to full intensity as the band rips all the way to the end.
Introduce Yourself is brilliant, and it’s easy to overlook it because Mike Patton has since become a dominant presence. Introduce Yourself is every bit as challenging, intense, unorthodox, melodic and heavy as any of their later albums. Do not dismiss it; instead make it a priority.
Not a pet peeve, exactly, but annoying just the same: Why did customers ordering CDs often leave a work number as their only contact? Was this CD such an urgent issue that one had to be notified immediately at work? I’ve never left a work number as a contact for anything I’ve ever ordered from a store. Why would I? Call me at home. Leave a message if you have to. Let me know it’s in, and I’ll pick it up. I won’t make you jump through hoops or speak to my receptionist, just call me.
I would also tend to think that receiving calls at work about something as trivial as a CD might not be the best plan. “You have a call from a client on 201, and a call from a CD store about the new Sarah McLachlan on 202.” I don’t know and I still don’t understand. Leaving a work number was an annoyance to us all. A couple times, a customer left just a first name and a work number. Upon calling the number, I was told “We have three people here with that name.” Great. Can you put me on the line with the one who listens to Sarah McLachlan?
Then it would really grind my gears when one of the “work number” people would come in and say “I’ve been waiting for a call and you never phoned me.” Then I’d pull the CD and find the slip inside where it said “left message” and the date. Of course this could happen at home too, and you could usually tell when a disinterested parent or roommate wasn’t taking down the message. At least in those cases, you could make a note to do a callback because it didn’t seem like the person was going to get the message.
The most memorable “work number” guy was a fellow that used to come in during 1996-1997. I’m guessing he was self employed because he seemed to be the only one working at that number. What I remember most was how he answered the phone: “Time travel,” he would say. Ring ring,”Time travel!” That’s how he answered the phone. “Ummm, is Greg* there?” we’d ask. Then he’d act weirded out that somebody called and asked for Greg. I assume the business was called Time Travel and I have no idea what they did, though we certainly did speculate. Thus, his nickname at the store became “Time Traveler”. It didn’t help that he was a bit of an ass and nobody liked dealing with him. I think that’s why he stopped coming in. He could sense that nobody liked helping him.
Did he run a travel agency? Maybe he was building a time machine? Or better yet, maybe he had combined the two — a time travel agency! Want to see the Spanish Inquisition? Book a trip with Time Travel today!…or yesterday! Ask for Greg.
Regular readers know that for the past five weeks (except one!) I’ve been appearing with Rob Daniels on his radio show Visions in Sound at 98.5 CKWR, talking about movie soundtracks. Also appearing were Erik Woods and Jason Drury live from the UK. May was Star Wars month, and we did four shows dedicated to the 40th anniversary of that franchise:
May 6: Star Wars for a New Generation (Rogue One, Rebels)
May 13: Alternate Forces (Star Wars video game soundtracks – I missed this one due to prior commitment)
May 20: The Prequels (Music from Episodes I, II, and III)
And there was also the June 3 show, the celebration of The 30th Anniversary of Spaceballs, a classic Mel Brooks parody of Star Wars (and other classic sci-fi).
So thanks Rob for asking me to be on the show, and to new friends Erik and Jason.
Not to toot our own horns too much, but these were great shows. It’s hard to listen live at 12:30 in the morning, but if you take the time to listen to one of these shows in the archives, I know I’d appreciate it. Great music was played, much geeking-out was had, but you’ll also hear a ton of knowledge that you probably never knew before, from four guys who live and breathe this stuff.
Ever get text messages from numbers you can’t identify, but you know you know? Me too! Just a couple weeks ago I got “mystery texts” from someone bitching about country radio stations. It was easy to sort out that it came from Tyler, of Tyler and LeBrain fame. Bitching about country music is kind of his thing. But the text message below, I have no idea at all…
DIO – The Last in Line (originally 1984, 2010 Universal deluxe edition)
Ronnie James Dio used to consider the second albums he did as inferior to the first ones. Second Rainbow wasn’t as good as the first; same with the second Sabbath, according to Ronnie. Is that also true for The Last in Line compared to the legendary Holy Diver?
Comparing the two is much like splitting hairs. The two albums are so close in style and quality that it really doesn’t even matter.
A better opener than “We Rock” is hard to find. The blitz of drums and riff was custom made for bangin’ on the stage. It’s unusual to hear a song where the drums are a major hook, but Vinny Appice has a way of doing just that. He gives you the urge to air-drum every time he throws down a fill.
Dio had an interesting pattern for his albums in the early days, up to Dream Evil (1987). The albums always began with something fast. In the song two position: always the title track! (The title track of each album always had a few lines of lyrics printed in the album sleeve too!) And so it is with “The Last in Line”. The soft and ballad-y opening lures one into that “safe place”…before Dio lets it loose. One of his best and most memorable music videos went with “The Last in Line”, absolutely one of the legendary man’s most notable songs. Its reputation is well earned, as all the pieces are in the right and you never get tired of hearing it.
We’ll know for the first time, if we’re evil or divine, we’re the last in line!
With the first two tracks being so legendary to Dio fandom, it’s easy to understand how the next batch often get lost in the shuffle. “Breathless” lacks for nothing. Vivian Campbell’s solo spot is blazing stuff, and the song is memorable enough for head banging. Accelerating into “I Speed at Night”, hooks are sacrificed for tempo. It’s quintessential 80s heavy metal when speed was such an important thing. Not a bad tune, but one with only a single purpose — banging thine head.
“One Night in the City” takes the time to allow the hooks to percolate through. Vinny and bassist Jimmy Bain lock into a mid-paced groove while Ronnie lays down one of his typically emotive melodies. Though it simmers on a back burner, “One Night in the City” is hot just the same. “Evil Eyes” is also a high quality tune, and if it’s familiar that might be because an earlier version was a B-side, included on the Holy Diver deluxe edition. Naturally, the album version is more polished, but as for which is better, that’s up to the listener. Then there is “Mystery”, arguably Dio’s most “pop” single. Not such a bad thing, after all Ronnie James Dio also did right by “Love is All” from the Butterfly Ball.
We are lightning, we are flame, and we burn at the touch of a spark.
“Eat Your Heart Out” is the only stumble, but it’s soon paid back with “Egypt (The Chains are On)”, a Dio epic in true metal fashion. Who doesn’t love a good plodding metal epic about Egyptian legends? It’s a second or third tier metal motif! Ronnie brings his own metal melodrama to the fore.
The Last in Line is already a great album, certainly up to the quality of Holy Diver with equally memorable material. This carries over to the bonus CD included in the deluxe edition. Four single B-sides from the era are included. They are live versions of “Eat Your Heart Out”, with “Don’t Talk to Strangers”, “Holy Diver” and “Rainbow in the Dark” (all originally from Holy Diver). The only two B-sides missing are “Stand Up and Shout” and “Straight Through the Heart” live at Donington 1983, from “The Last in Line” 12″ single. These tracks however can be found on the 2010 CD release, At Donington UK: Live 1983 & 1987 .
Finally we have Dio’s entire set from the 1984 Pink Pop festival. Naturally there is some overlap with the previous live tracks: “Holy Diver”, “Rainbow in the Dark” and “Don’t Talk to Strangers”. This is offset by a smattering of Rainbow and Black Sabbath classics: “Stargazer”, “Man on the Silver Mountain” and “Heaven and Hell”. The audio is quite good and Jimmy Bain’s bass has a nice full thump to it. The Last in Line is one deluxe you’ll want to add to your collection
I will be going LIVE at 12:30 AM (ET) Saturday morning with Robert Daniels on VISIONS IN SOUND. Tune in on your dial to 98.5 or internet to CKWR! If you’re in the UK, why not wake up with us and some cool soundtrack music?
May was Star Wars month on Visions In Sound, but now it’s June and it’s also the 30th anniversary of the Star Wars parody Spaceballs! We will be spinning music and discussing this comedy classic. Jason Drury and I will help Rob with the celebration. Join Us THIS Saturday 12:30-2:30am (ET)
SPACEBALLS – The Soundtrack (1987 Atlantic)
Hello, baaaaabay!
Composer John Morris has a long career working with Mel Brooks. The Producers, Young Frankenstein, Blazing Saddles…all that was John Morris. He is also responsible for the “Spaceballs Main Title Theme”, which is intentionally cheesy complete with laser beam sounds. Any spoof of Star Wars should also spoof the music, and the title theme suits that role. It sounds 50% Star Wars, and 50% The Last Starfighter. It’s rousing but not at all serious, and a fine indication of the kind of movie that Spaceballs is. The film wasn’t so well received back in 1987, but today it is fondly remembered. Mel Brooks is even considering a sequel.
Kim Carnes and Jeffrey Osborne provide the love ballad “My Heart Has a Mind of Its Own”. I enjoy Kim’s rasp, always nice to hear, but I couldn’t tell you what scene in the movie this goes with (and I’ve seen the movie 100 times at least.) You can safely skip this one. Berlin have a cool track called “Heartstrings”, produced by none other than Bob Ezrin! This one is worth a listen.
The “Spaceballs Love Theme” is a violin piece composed Morris and performed by Gerry Vinci. It too has a hint of corniness, but it could also fit into just about any Hugh Grant rom-com. Also by Morris is “The Winnebago Crashes”, the point in the film in which our heroes crash on the desert planet. This is an action packed centerpiece, with drums pattering away and horns ablaze. This is melded with a tension-filled “The Spaceballs Build Mega Maid”. Too bad these bits had to be edited together for the album.
“Spaceballs” by the Detroit Spinners is a hoot. This is pure 80s soundtrack music. Who you gonna call? You’re in the right ballpark anyway. It’s fun, and funny. The Pointer Sisters have “Hot Together”, and it sounds just like the Pointer Sisters. Disposable 80s pop but fun in the moment. In a similar vein is “Wanna Be Loved By You” by a group called Ladyfire. If you miss the days of the Bangles and Bananarama, then you’d dig Ladyfire.
Of course the Spaceballs movie had a lot more music than this. It’s clear that this CD is just a cross-section with an emphasis on pop, which would have been the selling point for most. Those who have seen the movie know there were two more big songs. One was “Raise Your Hands” from Bon Jovi’s Slippery When Wet. That’s not on the CD, but Van Halen’s “Good Enough” is. Fans will recall that this song is playing as Barf (John Candy) and Lone Star (Bill Pullman) enter the space diner, just before John Hurt’s chest explodes and gives birth to an Alien. It’s good to know that Eddie Van Halen’s axe will still be wailing away in the distant future. Van Hagar were perfect music for the sleazy diner and it’s nice to get one rock song on this CD.
There is also a 19th Anniversary Edition available, expanded with all the cues and alternate takes too. Still no Bon Jovi though….
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