by Harrison Kopp
Mr Moustachio’s Multitude of Marvellous Multiversal Misadventures
Tales From The Multiverse
Homeward Bound
Brainiac II looked out the window. It had been cloudy earlier, but it had cleared up since. The sun shone low on the horizon, painting a hazy shade of winter across the sky as the final bits of cloud dispersed.
Blast it. He thought to himself. If I don’t hurry up I’m going to miss the sunset.
Ever since the Calamity, nothing has been the same. Especially sunsets.
“Jen…” he whispered solemnly. She would have loved these sunsets.
No-one ever found out where the sickness originated. There were theories, conspiracy and otherwise. In the beginning, it felt like the flu. Within weeks, it was on every continent except Antarctica. There was a race for a vaccine, but as the months wore on, it never materialized as promised. The death toll rose until, eventually, half the population was decimated. Then, the virus burned out as quickly as it came. There hasn’t been a confirmed case in a year.
Sometimes the Brainiac wondered why he lived when everyone else he knew didn’t. Something in his genes, or just dumb luck. Or bad luck, he thought. Sometimes he dreamed that Jen was still here, but just…away. Away in space, in orbit, or on the moon. Just out of communication. He both loved, and hated those dreams.
Back to reality.
He put the last few jars away in the cupboard, making sure everything was in order.
Parsley, sage, rosemary and thyme. All as it should be.
He was finally done in the kitchen. The 7 o’clock news was coming over the radio, something or other about the current boxing champion. But Brainiac II didn’t really care at the moment. It was all just voices of old people to him.
He stepped outside into the winter evening. The sunset was beautiful this night. One of the best he had ever seen. It would have looked amazing from above.
He sat on the bench, gazing out over the lake as the sun dipped over the horizon. It was so serene. A squirrel sat in the ground next to him, eating a nut. A sparrow flew overhead, finding a tree to rest for the night.
With the sun fully below the horizon now, Brainiac II decided it was time to go inside, and turned back into the night. And that’s when he noticed something odd. He couldn’t hear anything but the sound of silence.
A too silent night, now that you think about it.
The cool night air touched his skin as he peered out into the forest. The darkness concealed much, but he knew these woods well. It was unlikely someone would have been able to find him here.
But Brainiac II couldn’t shake the feeling that something was off. He listened out, more closely this time. Now, very faintly, he could just make out what sounded like a car’s engine.
That’s odd. he thought to himself. Mrs Robinson’s the only one who still lives nearby, but she doesn’t have a car.
The sound came a little closer, and then stopped. Brainiac II crouched down, peering out into the gloom. And he didn’t have to wait long to find out who it was.
Out of the brush stepped a most peculiar man. A long-haired man with a moustache. Brainiac II froze cold. He recognised this man. He was older here, but this was the man from his dream. The man who killed him.
The man who, right now, also saw Brainiac II.
“Hey, are you alright?” he called out to the Canadian in the bushes.
“If you think false sincerity is going to get you the jump on me, you are sorely mistaken,” Brainiac II said, standing up straight.
“Brainiac…?” Moustachio said. “Boy you’re a sight for sore eyes. I’m so relieved to see you.”
“Oh I’ll bet you are. Are you here to finish the job? One half of us wasn’t enough for you?” the Canadian sneered.
“Hey, my name’s Harrison Holden, and you’re my friend the Brainiac,” Moustachio said, trying to remind Brainiac II of a connection the Australian had with the original Brainiac.
“Lies! Deceit! I saw what you did. You may have aged, but I recognise you, plain as day.”
“I don’t know what you think you saw, but I’ve been gone for almost a year. And I would never hurt you,” the Australian man said, holding a hand out for the Canadian.
Maybe it was the soft-spoken nature of the Australian, or the way in which he seemed to genuinely believe the words he was saying. Or maybe it was just Brainiac II wanting to believe the words were true. The Canadian cautiously clasped the Australian’s hand in a handshake.
“So tell me, why did you think I was going to attack you?” Moustachio quizzed him.
“Well, last night I had the strangest dream. And I’m not entirely sure that it was just a dream. I saw a man…he looked just like you, except for the moustache. And he was a little younger too. He killed me. I think he knew me before that, too.”
“Well, I wouldn’t say ‘killed’ just yet,” rang out a voice from the darkness. “But it is on my to-do list for the day.”
The two men instantly snapped into action, back-to-back and scouring the darkness with their eyes. Neither could pinpoint the source of the voice yet.
“And what a treat to finally get the chance to end my ‘father’s’ life too,” the voice continued, seemingly coming from all around.
Moustachio pulled his new space-metal boomerang from his holster.
“Don’t count on it.”
“Oh, I love it when they try to fight back,” gloated Shinzon, the evil clone of El Moustachio, as he sauntered out from the darkness. He ignited an emerald green lightsaber, and dropped into a fighting stance. Moustachio positioned himself between Shinzon and Brainiac II.
The two opponents circled one another, occasionally feinting or lunging in an attempt to draw the other into committing to an attack.
Eventually Moustachio thought he saw an opening, and threw his boomerang. Shinzon just reacted in time, raising his lightsaber to knock the thrown metal blade into the ground beside him.
Shinzon charged at the now-defenceless Moustachio, but the Australian had expected this. Moustachio had run forward too, meeting Shinzon before the latter man had fully readied his blade for an attack. Taking advantage of the momentum, Moustachio slid forward, knocking Shinzon’s legs out from under him.
Shinzon got to his feet, now in a slight panic, and looked around for his opponent. But instead he spotted Brainiac II right nearby him. A cruel smile crossed his lips.
“This was the very lightsaber the original Brainiac tried to kill me with. How poetic, it will be the weapon to kill you. It almost rhymes.”
And he swung his lightsaber down at Brainiac II.
Moustachio had blocked the slash with his boomerang, holding back the might of his dark reflection. Sparks flew from where the two weapons met, but Moustachio held firm. The forgemaster was right – his weapon would not fail him.
Mustering all his strength, he pushed back, and Shinzon was sent staggering backward. Moustachio cast a quick glance to Brainiac II to make sure he was alright, in which time Shinzon had recovered and brought his blade back up to guard.
“Hahaha!” the clone cackled. “Is that really all you’ve got?”
But before either of the two men could continue the fight, the ground in front of them shattered with an ear-splitting crack. The two faced each other, both somewhat unsure how to proceed.
Then a deep voice bellowed out from seemingly nowhere.
“YOU CANNOT HIDE ANYMORE! YOUR DOOM IS AT HAND, WORM!”
Shinzon frantically looked around the night sky, terrified. Moustachio spied this and pressed the man for information.
“What is this? I know you know!”
Shinzon turned to him, the colour drained from his face and not even caring that they were fighting just seconds ago.
“Unicron. He’s found me.”
A chill ran down Moustachio and Brainiac II’s spines. They both recognised that name, and they both knew the incredible destructive potential. And then they saw it. Right there in the night sky, taking up almost their entire view.
A large chunk of the Earth broke away from the crust and flew upwards towards the giant mouth in the sky. A small town could be seen on the rock. It had to be home to ten thousand people, maybe more. All gone now.
Brainiac II was in shock, still trying to comprehend the reality that Unicron was real. Moustachio turned back to face Shinzon. Despite the fact that the man across the chasm had just tried to kill them, Moustachio still thought he deserved better than to be devoured by the god of chaos.
“What about you? Can you even escape this planet?””
“Don’t worry about me. I think I know somewhere they can’t find me,” Shinzon yelled over the abyss before disappearing into the darkness. Moustachio turned to Brainiac II.
“Come on, we have to be quick. My car’s not far from here”, he said, breaking into a run.
“Your car?” Brainiac II asked, more than a little quizzically.
“It’s no ordinary car,” Moustachio replied.
With Moustachio guiding them both as he retraced his steps, they found the car before it could be swallowed up by the crumbling earth below. They both jumped in, not even bothering with seat belts, and Moustachio floored it.
The ground began to crack under them, racing along with the car. Fissures of lava spurted out of brand new “potholes” in the ground. Moustachio weaved around them, all the while continuing to increase his speed.
An orange explosion engulfed the car. Moustachio closed his eyes, daring not to look. After a few seconds of engine noise, he slowly opened them.
“Whew.”
Everything was quiet. Around the car was a serene Canadian countryside. No lava, no fire, no giant demonic planet in the sky. To his left Brainiac II was breathing heavily, trying to comprehend what he had just witnessed.
“What is this? A time machine?” the older man finally asked.
“No, even better,” Moustachio replied. “A vehicle for traversing the multiverse.”
“The multiverse?” Brainiac II queried, hardly believing his ears.
“Yep, the times, they are a-changing. But for now they’re going to be a bit more familiar. I think this is it this time. I think I’ve finally made it home.”
“Home…” Brainiac II echoed.
“Yours too now, I think. We used to be old friends. I hope one day I can call you that again”, Moustachio said. “We’ll head to the cottage tomorrow, but for now, let’s find a place to stay for the rest of the night.”
EPILOGUE: Two months later…
Though Moustachio ached for Australia, he hadn’t minded being away from home in Canada. It was summer in Canada, while back home it was winter, and Canadian summers were not so bad.
He recalled the night they arrived here, at the Brainiac’s cottage. It was dusk, but the wooden structure in the trees was exactly how he imagined it.
There was a car in the driveway. There was a light on inside. Moustachio and Brainiac II exited the Interceptor and slammed the doors. This caused a great commotion inside, since company was not expected. You can imagine the waterworks on the faces of Jen, and Mike’s family, when they saw the living and breathing Brainiac II before them. They lost their Brainiac a year prior, killed by Shinzon…and their Mike was an identical person to Brainiac II, who had lost his own family. Everyone was there, even Ripper the Squirrel. He leapt upon Moustachio’s shoulders and kissed his face, unable to believe that his Australian friend had returned after so long.
After the emotional and teary reunion, Moustachio knew they had to get back to business. A phone call to Tee Bone Man, whom they discovered had retired after seemingly defeating Shinzon and losing his powers, revealed that there was now a new team of superheroes: the Northern Lights! And with the help of their sponsor and de facto leader, Mr. Durling, Moustachio and Brainiac II established a new headquarters. You couldn’t have asked for a better one than the cottage in the woods.
“I could get used to this,” said Moustachio, surveying all the new equipment they had at hand, feet up in the most serene of surroundings.
“It’s no so bad, huh?” agreed Brainiac II. “I think I’m finally happy.”
“That’s good to hear,” responded Moustachio. “Would you mind switching on that screen? I want to scan for threats, now that Mr. Durling has provided all this new top-secret tech.”
“You got it,” smiled the Brainiac. “But Unicron aside, you haven’t told me much about what we are up against.”
“Oh, you wait and see!” grinned the Australian. “We have adventures ahead that will rock your socks off. Get ready, Brainiac – we’re just getting started!”
TO BE CONTINUED NEXT MONTH in THE ADVENTURES OF THE NORTHERN LIGHTS Chapter One!
THE ADVENTURES OF TEE BONE MAN: PHASE ONE – THE SQUIRREL SAGA 
THE ADVENTURES OF TEE BONE MAN: PHASE TWO – THE MULTIVERSE SAGA
THE ADVENTURES OF THE NORTHERN LIGHTS: PHASE THREE – THE UNICRON SAGA
- Chapter One: Creatures of the Night (by LeBrain)
SPINOFFS AND SIDE QUESTS
THE COMPLETE ADVENTURES OF EDIE VAN HEELIN’
THE WRITER’S ROOM
mikeladano.com 