Bon Jovi

Part 164: “You scratch my back…”

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RECORD STORE TALES Part 164:  “You scratch my back…”

In the past, (Part 120, in fact) I talked about how T-Rev would keep his eyes peeled for discs that he knew I wanted.  It worked out to be a mutually advantageous arrangement;  a large chunk of my collection came to me simply because T-Rev knew I wanted something.  I’m sure the reverse was also true.  But this referred just to discs that showed up in our respective stores.

I had a different arrangement with “QUO”, who worked with me at my own store.  In this case, we’d actually buy each other stuff while we were out on our own record shopping excursions.  I found the following entries in my journal, illustrating exactly the kind of “you scratch my back…” arrangements that we had.  It was pretty awesome.

Date: 2005/10/25
16:26

Today I picked up a Bright Eyes 45, an Arcade Fire 45 for QUO, and the new Motley DVD since I didn’t see the tour. I hope the documentary footage kicks ass! The last Motley DVD (given to me by an ex) really sucked. Maybe Vince actually sings on this one instead of letting the fans do it all!

I actually picked up the Bright Eyes 7″ for QUO as well, but he already had it, so I just kept it for myself.  I don’t know which Arcade Fire I bought for him (it was probably “Rebellion”), but the Bright Eyes was “Gold Mine Gutted”.  (The Motley DVD I am referring to was Carnival of Sins.)

This was in return of a favour QUO did for me, one week prior!

Date: 2005/10/18
10:00

QUO picked up three CDs for me in Toronto last night:

1. Bon Jovi “Have A Nice Day” single (has two live tracks first released on the box set, but in studio versions).
2. Bruce Dickinson Tyranny Of Souls Japanese import with bonus track.
3. Iron Maiden “The Trooper” CD single.

I remember giving QUO a wishlist.  This was back when HMV Toronto still carried Japanese imports (which they no longer do, see rant here).  I remember putting Avril Lavigne CD singles on that wishlist too!

This is what obsessive Record Store Guys do.  We help each other out.  It’s in our blood, the blood of the collector!

Most Unrightfully Ignored Albums of the 1990s – LeBrain’s List Part 1

In alphabetical order, here’s Part 1:  88 albums that meant the world to me in the 1990’s but never got the respect I felt they deserved.  When appropriate, I’ll pop in with comments.  Part 1!  Enjoy!

  • Aerosmith – Nine Lives (better than Get A Grip)
  • Armored Saint – Symbol of Salvation (John Bush lead vocals, nuff said)
  • Barstool Prophets – Last of the Big Game Hunters (from Ottawa Ontario Canada, great album)
  • Big House – Big House (from Edmonton Alberta, long forgotten hard rock classic)
  • The Black Crowes – Amorica (my favourite)
  • Black Sabbath – Cross Purposes (bleak gooder from the Martin-era Sabs)
  • Blue Rodeo – Nowhere To Here (psychedelically delicious)
  • Blue Rodeo – Tremelo (acoustically psychedelically delicious)
  • Bon Jovi – These Days (their most mature albeit darkest work to date)

  • Gilby Clarke – Pawnshop Guitars (the all time best GN’R solo album)
  • Alice Cooper – The Last Temptation (fans love it in hindsight, but it sold poorly in 1994)
  • Corrosion of Conformity – Deliverance (I was hooked upon hearing “Clean My Wounds”)
  • Coverdale Page – Coverdale Page (unrightfully ignored? well, most just disrespected)
  • Cry of Love – Brother (guitarist Audley Freed plays his Fenders like bluesy butter)
  • Deep Purple – Slaves & Masters (I have a soft spot for this ballady Deep Rainbow disc)
  • Deep Purple – The Battle Rages On (there are some strong forgotten tracks here)
  • Deep Purple – Purpendicular (one of the best records of their career)
  • Def Leppard – Slang (ditto)
  • Bruce Dickinson – Balls To Picasso (I believe I’ve discussed these enough in my in-depth reviews)
  • Bruce Dickinson – Accident of Birth 
  • Bruce Dickinson – The Chemical Wedding
  • Dio – Strange Highways (it took a while to grow on me, but at the time it was criminally ignored)

Part 2 of 4 coming tomorrow…

REVIEW: Rockhead – Rockhead (1992)

ROCKHEAD – Rockhead (1992)

  • Bob Rock – guitar
  • Steve Jack – vocals
  • Jamie Kosh – bass
  • Chris Taylor – drums

A lot of Rock-haters (people who hate Metallica’s output from 1991-2003) have no idea that the man is quite the musician himself. Canadians remember the Payola$ and Rock & Hyde, but then there was Rockhead. Bob Rock found a great Canadian punk rock vocalist named Steve Jack, who as it turns out, was also a great screamer. Some of the screams on this album are unreal — check out “Bed Of Roses”, “Heartland”, and “Chelsea Rose” for some awesome vocals.  Face it, Canada has some great screamers (James LaBrie, Gerald McGhee, Sebastian Bach!) but Steve Jack was a contender.

This album was born during the the difficult Motley Crue sessions (not to mention a Bon Jovi album), while Bob was going through a divorce.  This comes out in the song “Warchild”.  In fact it ACTUALLY comes out during that song:   Bob can be heard yelling and throwing stuff around the studio at one point, which he recorded after a painful phone call.

I don’t find there is a weak track on this album, and plenty of Bob’s buddies show up.   Art Bergmann, Billy Duffy, Paul Hyde, Jon Bon Jovi & Richie Sambora all contribute songwriting skills.  Duffy and Sambora also contribute solos.   From the screamy Aerorock of “Bed of Roses” to the metal of “Heartland” to the acoustic Zeppelinesque “Angelfire”, every single track is worth a listen.  It’s a diverse album actually, running the gamut from light to dark and embracing different sides of rock.   Boozy, bluesy, epic, acoustic, you name it.  Its roots are firmly planted in the 1970’s, but if this had come out in 1989, it could have spawned 5 singles.

Sonically if you like Bob Rock, you will like this.  It’s right in the ballpark of that Motley Crue/Keep the Faith sound he had going on during that period.  Big big drums, layers of guitars, a lil’ bit of keyboards here and there, but mostly, lots and lots and lots of guitars.

4/5stars

Part 109: The Summer From Hell!

RECORD STORE TALES Part 109:  The Summer From Hell

Summer, 2004.

I had one really, really awful summer at the store.  My full-time backup had quit, and head office made the decision not to hire a replacement until the Christmas gear-up season.  Instead, they decided to spread out the part-timers to cover the hours.  They were always eager for hours, but not necessarily weekend hours!

I was required to work two Saturdays a month anyway.  That summer, I had to pull a lot more than that.  Saturdays, Sundays, the odd 12 hour shifts…I didn’t get to the cottage very much that summer.  Allegedly, one head office staffer was overheard saying to another, “It’s going to be funny watching Mike try to work all summer without a full-timer.”  Good to know they had my back.

I was furious.  But I was also defeated.

I had one weekend booked off in July.  I couldn’t miss that weekend.  My grandma’s 80th birthday party was that weekend.  There was no way in hell that I was going to miss my grandma’s 80th birthday party.  It was a 2 hour drive away, in Kincardine Ontario.  I only have one grandma (88 this year!), but wouldn’t you know it?  Nothing ever went smooth for me….

I had a date the previous night (Friday), with this girl who was originally from Thunder Bay.  We went out and we had a nice meal followed by a night of drinks.  I woke up slightly hungover, but eager to hit the lake, and say hi to grandma.  Then, my phone rang.  Not a good sign.

My least reliable employee, Wiseman, was calling in sick.  The truth was more likely that he was calling in wasted.  Somebody had to get the hell over there and cover him.  And that someone was me.

I pulled in, unshowered, unshaven, and pissed off.  I had never been so mad at Wiseman in my life.  It was becoming a far, far too regular occurrence that he was always “sick”, and someone had to cover for him.  You can’t expect every part time employee to give up their Saturday plans and work on no notice, but a manager had to.

To her credit, there was one head office person on duty that weekend, and she came in to take over.  I will always be grateful to that person for covering me on my grandma’s 80th birthday weekend.  If memory serves, my great aunt Marie, her sister, made it that weekend too.  I think that was the last time I ever saw her, she passed away not too long after.

My relationship with head office people was rocky to say the least, especially after that “It’s going to be funny watching Mike try to work all summer…” crack.  But she did cover me when I needed it.  I won’t forget that, and I’ll always be grateful.

The rest of the summer was what it was, weekend after weekend of working, the same grind and drudgery.  The musical light in the tunnel that summer was the release of Marillion’s double Marbles CD.  It is my favourite Hogarth-era Marillion to this day, and when I received it that summer, it got me through.  We didn’t carry it in stock in our store, but it was in my car, and on my home player, all summer.  It brightened the mood, it kept me going, waking me up in the morning and getting me out the door.  The Summer of Hell’s bright spot was Marillion, and my grandma.

I would like to dedicate this installment of the Record Store Tales to that one head office person who stepped up and covered for me that day.  We had many knock-down-drag-out arguments over the years, and I’m sure that her side of many events differ from mine.  Regardless, if it wasn’t for her, I wouldn’t have been present for my grandma’s 80th, and for that I owe her a debt of gratitude.

Thank you.  It meant a lot to me.

Below:  the soundtrack to that summer

INTERVIEW: Kathryn Ladano part 1

Kathryn Ladano is a name you might not have heard before, unless you caught Stump LeBrain Week on Dave FM, or you’re a fan of free improvisation.  She’s the sister of LeBrain, is a world-class bass clarinest player, but originally came from a rock background.  We sat down and asked her 10 questions about music.  Check out the first five below.

kathrynladano.com

1. What were your earliest musical influences?  I know you listened to a lot of John Williams, pop music, and hair metal like Bon Jovi.  How do you go from that to a 10 minute improvisation on bass clarinet?

My earliest musical influences really don’t have a lot of impact on me today in terms of my professional career.  I mean, I was into the 80’s hair bands and pop music for the most part growing up. However, it’s true that movie music really spoke to me and I was intrigued by the connection between music and visual images.  This is true of 80’s music videos too actually, and I would often (and still do) picture images in my mind when I hear a song.  For movie music, I was fascinated by the fact that a certain musical treatment could greatly enhance the emotional impact of a movie scene.  I didn’t really understand why, but the idea of it really made an impression on me. As a teenager, I realized that it was the “weirder” soundtracks in particular that affected me the most. For example, the opening music of Planet of the Apes did such a great job of making you feel like you were on another planet, and it’s still one of my favourite examples of movie music. However, I think the soundtrack that affected me the most and opened my ears the most was 2001: A Space Odyssey. In particular, the compositions by György Ligeti  — Atmospheres, Lux Aeterna, Requiem, etc… I think that early exposure to highly dissonant music and seeing how brilliantly it could enhance a scene in film really opened my eyes and my ears to the experimental, and Ligeti is still one of my favourite composers today.

2. As a listener, what type of LeBrain reader would be likely to appreciate your music?  Is there a track on [your album] Open that is more accessible than others?

That’s a difficult question to answer. If I speak very generally, I would say probably readers that enjoy progressive rock and more avant-garde music would enjoy the album. I tried to throw in everything I could because I wasn’t sure when i’d have a chance to make another one, so the album features a fairly wide variety of sounds and styles. The most accessible tracks are “Something I Can’t Know” (a jazzy sounding trio for bass clarinet, piano, and drums), and “Art Show” (a more upbeat sounding trio for bass clarinet, guitar, and drums). However, the track that has gotten the most airplay is “Further Reflection” (a duo for bass clarinet and percussion that features a very atmospheric opening and minimalistic ending).

 
3. What do you think about “jam bands” such as the Grateful Dead or Deep Purple who often would go up on stage and improvise for 20 minutes with no script?

I think the concept is fantastic! Essentially, this is what we do as free improvisors. You pretty much throw musical genre out the window and just focus on sound, using your ears as your guide. I also really admire bands that can come up with a meaningful and interesting improvised piece that lasts as long as 20 minutes as it can be very difficult to do. When there is no script and no plan, the form and the personality of the piece can be difficult to find, and the more players you have, the more directions there are to take the music. Granted, bands like this don’t always succeed at creating a successful 20 minute improvisation, and it can be a lot for an audience to absorb, but the basic idea of making it up on the spot and just using your ears and your instinct to guide you is something I would welcome more of in popular music. 

 
4:  Bands that do 20 minute jams were extremely popular in the late 60’s and early 70’s, but today they are not mainstream anymore.  Why do you think that is? 

It seemed that there was a lot of musical experimentation and exploration happening in the 60’s and 70’s and for some reason, much of that stopped in the 80’s. I think audiences changed and they wanted different things in their music. Today, I really wonder how audiences would respond if more artists started incorporating long jams and improvisations into their music. It seems that it’s not something that people want anymore, and it’s too bad.  Popular music has changed and I think audiences no longer expect the unexpected – most people just want to hear their standard three chord songs – unfortunately that seems to be all the modern ear is capable of absorbing. Music and popular culture moves in waves though, so I’m hopeful that at some point more experimental live performances will come into fashion again.

5. What should the role of visuals be in live music?

I am personally very intrigued by this concept and that of interdisciplinary art in general (mixing more than one art form together). I think visuals can greatly enhance music as I said before regarding film music, and it’s an area that I have been exploring a lot lately. For example, last year I directed Wilfrid Laurier University’s Improvisation Concerts Ensemble in a performance of a live, improvised soundtrack to the classic silent film Nosferatu. The ensemble created musical pieces within the context of the film that was unlike anything they had done before without visual imagery. I think adding visuals opens doors to new ideas and greater creativity and allows a musician to react and respond to something other than just what they’re hearing.

GUEST REVIEW: Steel Panther – Balls Out & Feel the Steel

LeBrain will always be straight with you when he doesn’t know something.  I have had a few requests for a write up on Steel Panther.  The problem is, I’ve never actually listened to Steel Panther.  Maybe I should change that.

So I asked the infamous T-Rev, aka Trevor from the Record Store Tales to see if he could do a review. He could, and he did. Enjoy.

STEEL PANTHER:  Feel the Steel (2009) & Balls Out (2011)

  

Steel Panther: Your New Favourite Band, by T-Rev

Michael Starr, Satchel, Lexxi Foxx, and Stix Zadinia are Steel Panther. The X-rated, Spinal Tap-esque modern day Hair band.  Intent on bringing back Heavy Metal , with a sound that will impress any fan of the “hair” genre.   Formed with ex-members of various metal bands in the 1990’s ( Rob Halford’s Fight, Paul Gilbert’s Racer X, and L.A. Guns!) originally as Metal Skool (yes…Metal’s Cool) in the early 2000’s, and a brief stint as Danger Kitty (getting some recognition on MTV and the Drew Carey Show).   Feel the Steel, the first album as Steel Panther, stands out because of its period-correct guitar assaults, its bandana wearing 4-armed drummer and the spandex covered, lipstick sporting, teased hair bass player, (reminding me of Warrant circa Cherry Pie mixed with some early Motley Crue attitude!) and of course, its lyrics!

Feel the Steel has it all, killer riffs  (often mimicking classic tunes of the past like “Fuck All Night, Party All Day’s” intentional resemblance to Bon Jovi’s “Livin’ On A Prayer”)  Hilariously refreshing lyrics (like the first time you ever heard “Fuck Her Gently” by the D) throw in some top notch guest star clout (Justin Hawkins duets with Michael Starr) and top it off with manufactured “rock star” personas (a la Spinal Tap), and you’ve got all the best parts of what a hair metal band should be…SEX & DRUGS & ROCK ‘N’ ROLL!  Crazy stories of sex with asian hookers, sex with fat girls, sex with neighbours, and copious amounts of “blow”, all done in a way you’d never expect…even though it feels strangely familiar.   Sounding like it came from 1989, but containing enough modern relevance to remind you it’s current.   After about the first verse, I knew I was a fan for good.  “Eminem can suck it, so can Dr. Dre, or they can suck each other…just because they’re gay” screams Starr on “Death To All But Metal”.  “Two in the pink, one in the stink”describes the “Shocker” to newcomers.  And “You’re the only girl that I like to screw…when I’m not on the road,” Michael reassures his girl on “Community Property”. 

Balls Out, their sophomore effort, continues where F.T.S. left off.  A lot of the same sexual scenarios, but the music seems to have picked up another gear, with more focus on riffage (bigger, faster, louder).   The lyrics, however, are lacking the furious onslaught they had on F.T.S.   Perhaps because the initial shock is over, now I expect it!  There is more celebrity name-dropping than before…mentioning that Charlie Sheen “is winning in the bedroom upstairs”, and that Tiger Woods thinks “3 holes are better than a hole in one”.    A good album upon first listen…just didn’t have the impact that Feel the Steel did on me.  Having said that, this album grows on you…big time!  Like any good album…it takes a while for their sauce to mix with yours!

I should also discuss Starr’s instrument…this guys voice is classic, vintage, powerful, cheesy, awesome, hilarious, and adaptive!  Vocal range that would bring a tear to Dio’s eye, heartfelt (x-rated), ballads on par with anything Bon Jovi or Poison ever did, rockers that could have appeared on stage with the great Bon Scott!   I don’t mean to come across as though I consider this band “flawless”, but, these guys are PRO’s!   Certainly impressive musically…sometimes though, they sway over the cheese line a bit, and even take the lyrics too far, but all in all, I do love these albums.  Afterall, isn’t it the cheese that we now love about 80’s metal? 

You really get the feeling that these guys are true fans of metal, not just cashing in on the novelty of wearing spandex and makeup.  Much like the ribbing the Darkness took during their invasion, some people misunderstood the flattery for ridicule.  True fans see past the hair and hear the talent in the music…every time I listen to them, they get better!  Like a drug that you can’t get enough of…you want to hear it again and again.   In a world where Justin Beiber and Nickelback win music awards, this is a welcome addiction.   A perfect mix of metal and comedy!  Destined to become a staple at everyone’s annual “sausagefest”

Feel the Steel    5/5

Balls Out              4/5

Part 53: Heavy Negotiations

Sometimes, things just came into the store that no matter the cost, you had to get it. You’ve all seen Pawnstars, right? It could get that way. 99% of transactions were pretty ordinary, but sometimes you’d get a pretty wild score, and you couldn’t back down.

You’d see imports, singles, bootlegs, promos, special editions, bonus tracks, bonus discs, and sometimes damn near complete collections of several artists.  Tom tells the legend of a guy who came in selling a near complete Zappa collection.

There was one guy that I just loved. We’ll call him C. He was addicted to hard rock, heavy metal, and Euro metal. He was a collector and he had numerous Japanese imports. And frequently, he sold us those Japanese imports, of just about anything decent. A few that weren’t so decent, but very very few.  I don’t know where he got the stuff, and I didn’t ask.  None of my business!

Thanks to C, I have a pretty close to complete collection of Japanese Harem Scarem imports, Bruce Dickinson, and Journey. Whoop de do for a lot of you, but these things are mucho expensivo to buy! Why?

In Japan, it is actually cheaper to buy a CD imported from America then their own (superior) domestic product.  So the Japanese counteract this by putting bonus tracks on their domestic product.  Much of time, these are songs specifically exclusive to Japan.

A really good example of a song written and recorded specifically for the Japanese market would be “Tokyo is Burning” from W.A.S.P.‘s K.F.D. album.  Another would be “Himalaya” by Glenn Tipton.  (Ignore that the Himalaya mountains are not in Japan, please, I’m guessing Glenn didn’t know that when he wrote it.)

There are collectors in every city and every town who pay premius prices to get these discs imported here from Japan.  Average prices can run from $35 to $50 for a single disc, much more if you’re talking about multi-disc sets.  The most I ever paid for a single Japanese disc (new) was $80  (Come Hell Or High Water by Deep Purple), and the least I paid (new) was the “Woman From Tokyo” single by the same band.

So back to the point, these discs were worth coin.  And C might actually bring in 4 or 5 at a time.   I recall he brought in 4 Harem Scarem imports at one time, each with bonus tracks.

Now, C wasn’t stupid.  He knew that if he didn’t get what he wanted for the discs, he could try downtown where there were more collectors and afficianos, and fewer hockey moms.  However, he also knew it would be much easier to come to me personally, because I knew what I was doing when it came to imports.

And frequently, since I was usually seeing stuff I wanted for my own collection, I’d be willing to up the ante when needed.  Since I frequented Amazon, I knew exactly what these things were worth.

One of the coolest things he ever brought in was a Helloween Japanese box set, 4 discs.  I’m shooting myself in the foot for not picking it up back then.  I’ll never see it again, I’m sure. 

Often, the Japanese imports were packaged with extra goodies:  stickers, extra booklets, patches, posters.  To find a used Japanese import with these goodies still intact was very rare.  That ups the value as well.  And for the ultimate collector, Japanese discs come with something called an obi-strip.  They are a piece of paper with Japanese writing on it, that goes over the jewel case of the CD.  This is what they look like:  click to embiggen

    Because the obi strip is actually outside the jewel case, it’s hard to keep, and most people end up throwing them away.  Add a couple bucks to the end value of a CD if the obi strip is intact.  See how this goes?

Unfortunatley,  C usually threw out to obi strips, so most of my Japanese imports lack them.  You can easily store the obi strip by putting your CD in a sandwich bag as you can see with my Bon Jovi single. 

One of the drawbacks of dealing with C is that he became used to a certain level of money when he came in.  And, nobody else liked C.  They all hated him.  I heard it had something to do with him chewing gum when he talked.  Never mind the cool-ass shit he brought into the store that nobody else in town could get!  So, negotiations could get heavy.  He knew what his stuff was worth, and if I could have owned it all, I would have!

Another situation where negotiations could get fierce were with large sales.  The largest I ever saw was an estate sale.  I can’t remember how many discs we looked at.  I’m thinking the number is close to 3000, all in one shot.  I think they were in these big gray convention containers that could hold about 400 each.  And there were 7 containers, plus a few boxes.  And in this case, it was good, good shit.  Sometimes, you’d buy a handful of crappy stuff just to get a mountain of good stuff.  Because the seller often wanted them all gone and not to deal with them anymore.   Clear slate.

When going through these big estate sales, you’d often have a pile of awesome jazz titles alone that probably numbered in the hundreds.  Blues, same deal.  Of course you’d also get boxes of crap, but sometimes you’d take it just to get to the blues and jazz titles. 

Inevitably, there were times when you just could not justify asking as much as the customer wanted.  I remember, very unhappily, having to turn down this Rolling Stones CBS years box set, which came with a bonus EP.  The box even had this neat paper tongue.  I just couldn’t give the guy what he wanted and still make any money off the thing.

Another one that sucked to turn down was the Cult Collection 1984-1990 box set. This sucker is hard to find. I just couldn’t give the guy what he wanted.  I wanted it for myself as it was, so I was willing to go even higher than the call of duty allowed.  Alas, it was not to be.  Thankfully, most of those tracks have been released on the Rare Cult boxed set(s), which I have…thanks to C!

Other great box sets I got from C:  Black Sabbath‘s The Black Box.  Bon Jovi’s 100,000,000 Bon Jovi Fans Can’t Be Wrong.  Metalogy, by Judas Priest, complete with limited edition DVD.  A complete Motley Crue Music to Crash Your Car To box set with the poster and stuff still inside.

Sometimes you’d see stuff that, if you don’t grab it, you’ll never see it again.  One of my treasures is an Aussie import of Faith No More‘s Angel Dust with a 4 song bonus disc called Free Concert in the Park.  Snagged it.  Never seen again.  On the Faith No More front, I also picked up a split live bootleg album with King’s X called Kings of the Absurd.  I have the first Tea Party album, which actually came in more than once.  I paid at least $50 for it.  Possibly $100, I don’t remember anymore.  There was at least one album that we could sell for $100, which was Standing in the Dark by Platinum Blonde.  And people would pay it.  I was offered a $100 reward once to find the album, as in, whatever the CD cost if I found it, plus a $100 finder’s fee.  I never did find it, but I later picked up Alien Shores at a cool hole in the wall in Stratford, and gave it to Peter.

Nowadays, just about everything I want is available from my sofa, even if it’s located in Japan. eBay and Amazon have changed everything about finding rare music.  Just a few weeks ago I snagged the Japanese disc of You Wanted the Best, You Got the Best!! by Kiss.  Been hunting for that since 1996.  Never seen it for sale anywhere, and the one I got was mint.  Got it for $40.  Incredibly, a month or so ago, I found one of the last two Maiden singles that I still needed.  I got “Hallowed Be Thy Name (Live)” for $35.  This single, thought at the time to be Dickinson’s swan song with the band, features a cover of Eddie impaling Bruce through the chest!

My advice to aspiring collectors out there:  Pick your #1 favourite band, and start on Wikipedia.  Explore the discography, and see what you’re missing.  Check eBay and see what the pricing is like.  Then hunt until you find one at the right price.  Good luck!

Part 6: The Record Store, Year 1
Myself on the left, Trev on the right.

We were pretty slow most evenings.  You could study for exams at work most nights. Fridays got busy, but Monday, Tuesday, and Wednesday nights were dead.  That didn’t mean we doing nothing.  Rule #1:  “If there’s time to lean, there’s time to clean.”  We had scheduled to do something every night.  Mondays was cleaning the mirrors which lined the store walls.   Tuesday was putting away new stock, which always came Tuesdays.  Wednesday was checking the security tags on every cassette in the store.  Every fucking cassette.

For the first 2 months or so, it was just me and the owner.  Once September hit, he hired this other guy, Trevor.  I didn’t like him at first, he was the “other guy”.  He was the same age as me, also finishing school at the same time as me.  We shared similar musical interests.  Influences we shared:  Guns N’ Roses, Van Halen, The Four Horsemen, Kim Mitchell, Rush, and any bands with amazing drummers.  Over the course of the years, he introduced me to:  Steve Earle, Oasis, Metallica, Megadeth, Max Webster, anb Buddy Rich.  I give him a lot of credit for expanding my horizons during those days.

A lot of memorable releases came out that first year.  Superunknown and Purple were already out, but I was on board for some major ones.  Nirvana Unplugged was the biggest release of the fall 1994 schedule.  There was an Aerosmith hits disc, a Bon Jovi hits disc, and the Eagles reunion album which was absolutely massive.

The new Tragically Hip, Day For Night, came out on a Saturday.  We sold out by Sunday.  The boss drove down to Scarborough to get more on Monday.  Pearl Jam’s Vitalogy came out on vinyl the week before the CD was released.  We got just five in.  He didn’t expect it to sell, but we sold out before my shift even started.  Interestingly, none of the customers planned on playing it.  They either a) didn’t even have something to play it on, or b) were keeping it sealed as a collector’s item.  It definitely was a cool package.

Some poeople have a “swear jar”.  We had an alarm jar.  If you forgot to de-tag a customer’s purchase and thusly set off the alarm, you had to put a dollar in the jar.  We would use the spoils on our annual Christmas dinner.  It created some friendly competition between us.  That first Christmas is when I started working directly with Trevor, and I started to like him due to his excellent musical taste.  But in the alarm jar game, we were always about equal.  Sometimes you just forgot!

One lady may well have stolen something and set off the alarm, and I’ll never know, because, well….  As she was walking out the alarm went off.  I asked her to come back in the store and check to see if she had something from another store that may had set it off.  She was so upset at the alarm, she really wanted to show me she had nothing on her person.  So, she removed her top.  “See I’m not hiding anything in here!”  Covering my eyes, I told her it was quite alright, I believed her, and she could go.  First time I’d been flashed on the job.  Not the last.

She wasn’t even drunk.  They actually used to serve alcohol at this mall.  There was a licensed restaurant right next door to the store.  The regulars would start in the morning and keep going.  You’d see them in there every day, and they’d wander in completely plastered.

We had a few regular psychos at that mall.  There was Johnny Walker, who would just walk around the mall talking to himself, all day.  Literally, all day.  The story goes that he was quite rich.  He didn’t need to work, wasn’t capable of work, and just came to the mall and walked around all day, talking to himself.  Sometimes he would argue with himself and he had been ejected from the mall a couple times.  He came into the store a couple times but never caused any problems on my shifts.  One time, he even bought a cassette.  It was like the madness turned off.  He spoke to me, bought the tape, and walked out.  Madness set back in, and he’s off arguing with himself.  I wonder what happened to Johnny Walker?  He’d been walking the malls since grade school, sometimes changing malls when he got permanently ejected from one.

Then, there was Sue.  Sue had been in an accident years before, and had a walker.  She moved very  very slow.  She had a bit of a crush on the owner.  She stalked him relentlessly and gave him Christmas gifts.  She’d park her walker right there in front of the counter and talk his ear off for hours.  Hours!

One day, a large Japanese woman was shopping.  The owner said, “Go ask that lady if she needs help.  Then he stood back and waited.  I didn’t know it, but he had just given me my first challenge.

“Hi, can I help you find anything today?”

“No thank you though,” she answered, then almost immediately, “Do you have Soundgarden?”

I showed her what Soundgarden we had both new and used.  We also had the latest copy of M.E.A.T Magazine, and Chris Cornell was on the cover.  I’ll never forget that detail.

“Do you like Chris Cornell?” she asks.

“Yes, he’s actually one of my favourite singers.”

“Oh!  Really!  I love Chris Cornell.  He’s sexy.”

It was too late now.  I had opened Pandora’s box.  She opened the magazine to his picture inside.  She went on:  “I like when he wears his sexy black boots.  Chris Cornell wears black Doc Marten boots.  Do you know the boots?  Chris Cornell wears black Doctor Martens boots.  Do you like Doc Marten boots?”

I was on my own.  The boss just stood back.  I couldn’t even figure out a way to improvise my way out.  I was a rookie  I decided that this woman was most likely a lil’ crazy and I played the polite card.

“Yes, I do…”

“Chris Cornell is sexy.  Did you know that Soundgarden had an original bass player who was Asian?”

I did know that.  “Yes, his name was Hiro Yamamoto…”

“Yes Hiro Yamamoto.  He is Asian.  There are not many Asians in rock bands did you know that?”

This went on for a good 20 minutes.  After she left (not without asking my name, fuck!) my boss came to speak to me.

“That’s your first lesson.  Don’t get into conversations with customers.”

And of course we had the drunks.  I remember one jolly drunk came in that first Christmas Eve.  We all wore ties Christmas Eve, that was the tradition.  It was a tradition I kept every year to my last year at the store, even when I was the only one left who still did it.  This drunk came in, a big Grizzly Adams dude just reeking of alcohol.  He was definitely in great spirits though.  First he asked us why the ties?  The quick-witting Trevor answered, “I’m wearing mine because it makes me feel important.”  We laughed.  I then went over to see if he needed help finding anything.

“Hi there!” I began.

“Not yet, but I will be when I get home.  Hahahaha!” he answered.

Ultimately the jolly drunk guy couldn’t remember what to buy, so he bought $100 in gift certificates for his grand kids.  That was a great sale, and the best part was that it turned out to be $100 of pure profit for the store.  The bearded drunk guy probably lost it, because all my years with the store, they were never redeemed!

After Christmas, the owner confided in Trevor and I that he was going to be opening a second location.  This location would be in Waterloo.  It would be easily accessible by one high school, two universities, and one college.  He would be splitting his time between our store and setting up the new one.  Ultimately this meant he’d be in much less and we’d be getting more hours, and also bhe was bringing a new guy in.

I walked in one Tuesday to see this black-bearded behemoth behind the counter.  It was kind of awkward because the owner didn’t introduce us at first.  I looked around for an hour, stealing glances at this big grizzly bear of a man with the thickest blackest beard you can picture.  Finally he introduced me to Thomas, later to become Tom, the legendary founder of Sausagefest.  Ahh, but that comes much later.

TOM

Tom was a wicked cool guy who expanded my musical tastes even further than Trevor had.  Tom and I had many influences in common.  I had met another kindred spirit.  Influences:  Black Sabbath, Dio, Rainbow, Iron Maiden, Judas Priest, Van Halan (not Van Hagar!) and Johnny Cash.  Music he would introduce me to:  Miles Davis, Willie Nelson, Fu Manchu, and the whole stoner rock scene in general.  His place was plastered with rare Marillion posters.  Tom was serious about music.

Tom was so serious about music that it was actually hilarious.  Kids, this is the difference between liking music and loving music.  Nobody loves music as much as Tom.  Dare I say it, Tom loves music even more than me.

One night in Toronto, we visited the big HMV on Yonge St.  Tom was methodically working his way through every decent section of the store.  Long after Trevor and I had finished shopping, Tom was just finishing browsing rock.  With a handful of discs by Rainbow and Saga, Tom would then announce, “OK…I just have to check country.”

20 minutes would pass.  “Alright…on to jazz.”

20 more minutes.

“I just have to check blues.”

10 more minutes.

“Oohh…I wonder if they have the soundtrack to the Godfather.”

Checkout.  Trev, Tom and I usually checked out of that store $200 lighter.  Each.

Then, repeat.  We walked down the street to Sam’s, and finally to Virgin.  Rock, country, jazz, blues.  Every store.  That was Tom, three stores, one night.

Seriously those early days at the store were the best times I ever had working.  Working hard or hardly working?  No, we worked hard.  If there’s time to lean, there’s time to clean.  We ran that store with the owner making guest appearances, adding to it with our own creative ideas.

I graduated school in the summer of 1995, and hadn’t decided on my next move.  After that I was putting in increasingly more hours at the store.  It gradually built up from a part time job to full time.  When the new store opened, Tom split hours between the two of them so there were plenty of day and night shifts available, usually alone, which were the best times because you could play whatever you wanted!

I remember Tom walked in one night when I was playing Dio.  Back in 1995 you could not play Dio in a mainstream record store.  That would be like the equivalent of playing Michael Bolton in one today.  He was so far removed from what was selling at the time.  But I was rocking out to Holy Diver and Tom appreciated that I had the balls to do it.

Tom went to a lot of concerts.  After we had bonded over the mutual love of metal, I joined him and many of my future Sausagefest friends at a Black Sabbath concert.  It was Motorhead opening on the Sacrifice tour, and Black Sabbath headining, supporting their final studio album (17 years and counting!) Forbidden.  They played at Lulu’s Roadhouse just down the street.  A few weeks later we saw Queensryche in Toronto on the Promised Land tour.

Trev, Tom and I would have many adventures.  Such as that time seeing Kiss in…ahh, but that’s another story.  Before I talk about Tom and Trev again, I need to tell you a really shitty story.

TBC…