music

#424: How to Stop a Thief

RECORD STORE TALES MkII: Getting More Tale
#424: How to Stop a Thief

Surely, one of the biggest costs of running a retail business is loss due to theft.  If you open your doors to the public, somebody’s going to try and steal from you.  That is just the unfortunate reality of the world we inhabit.  Thieves have existed for as long as civilization, I’ll wager.

We had several defenses in place to protect ourselves from theft.  Although I do not have any numbers, I believe we were about effective as you could reasonably expect.

First and foremost, theft can be stopped by an aware staff.  When I first started at the Record Store in ’94, the boss said that not only is customer service #1, but it can help reduce theft.  If I were to walk up to every customer browsing on the floor to ask if they needed help, then any potential thieves would be aware that I had been watching and paying attention.  The boss taught us that diligent customer service can stop most theft before it happens.

On top of that, another thing I would do is purposely work right next to a suspicious person.  If I saw a customer acting all shady like they were trying to hide what they were doing with their hands, I would walk right next to them and start straightening CDs where they stood.  That probably helped, too.

SECURITY CASEThe second thing we did, at least in the early days, was apply magnetic tags to every item in stock.  For our CDs, that was easily done.  Remember those big, plastic security cases that had to be unlocked at the counter?  Some stores still use them.  You couldn’t break them open without wrecking the contents, and you couldn’t open them without the key, which was behind the counter.  Each security case had magnetic tags in it.  Put a CD in one of those things, and it’s not going anywhere without setting off the alarms.

For tapes, we didn’t have those security cases so we applied the magnetic tags directly to the cassette.  We’d try to hide them on the side opposite from the spine.  This was effective, but less so.  A thief could peel off those magnetic tags and often did.  It was never a good day when we found a bunch of those tags stuck under a shelf somewhere, like an old piece of gum.

Every Wednesday, we’d do a “tape check”.  Either T-Rev or I would go through every single tape in house, and make sure the magnetic tag was on there securely.  If it was peeling, we’d tape it on.  If it was ripped off (sometimes just from age and shelf wear), we’d replace it.  We were encouraged to replace as few of those as possible.  The stickers were something like 5 cents each, and that adds up very quickly when you have a few thousand tapes in stock.

With the magnetic tags and the tape check every Wednesday, we had it partly covered.  You’d also have to watch for kids trying to bypass the security gate.  You might see a kid walking out with his backpack lifted over his head (and gate).   I had also heard that a notorious local gang of thieves had lined their coats with tinfoil.  Tinfoil can stop the magnetic tags from setting off the alarms.  People used tinfoil to make “booster bags” – a device you can hide a tagged item in, in order to steal it without triggering the alarm.  Although I never witnessed it myself, the rumour was that these guys used something similar, and lined their coats with the stuff.  That’s how they managed to steal such huge quantities.  The gangs didn’t steal from us, but they targeted the big chain stores like HMV.  They were known all over town.  Every once in a while, I’ll still see one of their names in the newspaper.  The leader was recently busted in a meth sting, after having racked up 40 convictions over the years.

STEALING DISCS

Been Caught Stealing indeed!

When we changed the store’s format to 99% used CDs, we did away with the magnetic tags.  Instead we displayed empty cases only, while the precious CDs themselves were behind the counter.  This did result in some confusion, but much less costly theft prevention.

I’d still have customers walk up to me and say, “Hey buddy, I think somebody ripped you off.  This CD case is empty.”  Apparently, that customer didn’t notice the 7000 CDs behind me.

To try and help the customer understand what was going on, we put little signs on the CD shelves.  “All cases are empty.”  Even this caused confusion!  A few people would walk up to me and ask, “It says all cases are empty, so does that mean I have to buy the CD separately?”  Others would ask, “So you only sell the cases, not the CDs?”

Yeah, that’s it….

Unfortunately we could never completely stop theft.  Sometimes we would look up a CD in inventory.  The disc would be listed in stock, and the CD itself still behind me…but the case nowhere to be found anywhere in store.   We would check our sections regularly, but many cases never showed up.  I guess some thieves just ended up with empty ones.

Serves them right, but the last laugh was on us, because we ended up with a lot of case-less CDs that could not be sold.  The parasitic thieves cost us again.

WTF Search Terms: Joey Tempest Strikes Back edition

DARTH TEMPEST

WTF Search Terms XXVII:  Joey Tempest Strikes Back edition

Been a long time since I rock and rolled?  Hardly!  I just rock and rolled last night actually.  But it has been a long time since we’ve seen some WTF Search Terms!  (The last was in March.)  These are the most bizarre of the bizarre search terms that somehow led people to mikeladano.com.  Today’s instalment includes a couple for the Dark Lord of the Sith himself: Joey Tempest (you devil, you!) and a fair share of farts.

First up, a follow-up to the bizarre Joey Tempest Conspiracy Theory (TM):

  • satanic signs of joey tempest

I think the next person was looking for Joey aka Joakim Larsson as well!

  • presinor in paradies song

Here ya go, fella!  This would actually be the first album with Fake Joey.

Here are some fart and bowel related search terms:

  • thunder fart piss
  • how to rip on coworker who is constipated
  • white lion till death do us fart
  • faith no more farts

The video where Mike Patton farts into his microphone is called You Fat Bastards: Live at the Brixton Academy.  Here ya go, fella!* 20 seconds in. You’re welcome. You’re all welcome!

Here’s an old classic for you.  Were you aware that the Boobsy Animation Whore Wearing Glasses Acquired Screwed series was up to Part 7 already?

  • boobsy animation whores wearing glasses acquire screwed hardcore part 7

The question below is one I have often wondered.  Not really a WTF, but a good question.  Should they have called the album something else?

  • why did cinderella release “long cold winter” album in may

In England, it was released in July.  Imagine that!

Then, the below search term is a belief I do hold.  It’s OK if you don’t but why are you searching for this?  Is there one definitive authority who “knows” this?  (If so, let it be me?)

Finally, I’d like to close this batch of search terms with a guy who, well, he hasn’t been featured in WTF search terms for a long time.  His last appearance was WTF Search Terms XVI, back in February 2014.   Please welcome back the founder and bare buttocks of W.A.S.P., Mr. Steven Edward Duren aka Blackie Lawless!

  • biggest ass in leather
  • black lawless is an arse hole

Thank you, goodnight!

* Yes I made the assumption that the searcher was male.  Because farts.

#423: The Tyranny of Cassette in the ’80s

RECORD STORE TALES MkII: Getting More Tale
#423: The Tyranny of Cassette in the ’80s

Anyone who grew up in the mid to late 1980s probably enjoyed their music on the most popular format at the time:  cassette.  Vinyl LPs were still around, and still popular, but not nearly as much as cassettes.  CDs were new and only a few of us had CD players yet.  Cassette tapes had the portability factor going for them.  Everybody had a Walkman, and those who didn’t probably had one on their Christmas list in 1985.

Vinyl was a dying breed in our highschool halls.  There were still some older kids who boasted of the superior sound quality, but none of my friends had equipment good enough to enjoy that sound quality.  I certainly didn’t.  All I had was a turntable hooked directly into a Sanyo cassette deck for amplification.  The sound was harsh and tinny.  The scratches inherent with the format were also more distracting than the tape hiss of cassette.

So, it was all about cassette!  Buy ‘em, trade ‘em, swap ‘em and re-record over them when you decide you don’t like the music anymore.  I have a cassette copy of Michael Jackson’s Thriller that had long ago been erased and taped over with other stuff.  When you couldn’t find a fresh blank tape to record on, you could just erase something else.  Everybody did it.  My friend Bob had a cassette of In Through the Out Door that he recorded over with us talking and goofing around!

For teenage highschool kids, cassettes were enough for our musical fixes.  A decent quality name brand tape could hold up to 110 minutes without stretching.   We used them to tape anything and everything.  (I have a tape with the sound of a friend’s dad taking a massive shit — no, I did not record it, they did!)  Since cassettes were re-recordable, that meant that every kid could even record their own music and become a rock star in his or her own basement.  You couldn’t do that with your fancy schmancy LPs, we all thought!  Don’t like your song?  Just rewind and record it again!  Those who didn’t play music could have their own fun, DJ’ing and and writing skits.  And let’s not forget about taping your friends’ albums.  Recording tape to tape would always result in excessive tape hiss, but kids didn’t seem to mind in the 1980’s.  We ignored the hiss.  It was something we considered part of the music, because we really never heard any music without hiss!

Although the flaws of cassettes are patently obvious today, in the 80’s we were just discovering these troubling issues for ourselves.  We overlooked the tape hiss, but it was harder to ignore speed issues.  The biggest problem that I had with cassettes was inconsistent speed.  Some tapes, especially those made by Polygram and EMI in Canada, seemed to have a lot of internal friction.   Grab a small screwdriver and open up an old cassette tape some time.  Inside you will find rollers, spindles, and bits and pieces all designed for the cassette tape to roll smoothly.  Whether they worked right always seemed to be a matter of random luck.  When friction inside caused the tape to run slow, it was immediately obvious.  The pitch would be noticeably lower, and often the tape would warble as your player tried to play it at normal speed, but fought against the friction.

On the other hand, sometimes the problems came down to your player.  Your tape deck had even more spindles and doo-dads to turn that tape around and around.  Those got dirty and worn out, too.  Sure, you could buy tape head cleaners and demagnetizers, but did they ever really have a noticeable effect on your listening experience?  Probably not.  I used to diligently clean the insides of my tape decks with lint-free cloths and isopropyl alcohol.  Although I could see black filth coming off the rollers when I cleaned them, the sound and speed never really improved.  It was always very frustrating when a tape would play fine on a friend’s deck, but went slow as molasses on your own.  My Sanyo went in for service and professional cleaning more than once, but that didn’t help either.

Although cassettes sounded like shit, and only got worse the longer you kept them, they did have a big advantage over CD for me, and that was portability.  I preferred cassettes in the car, up until fairly recently.  The reason for this was, working in the used CD store, I saw so many CDs that were just utterly destroyed by car CD players.  You don’t get that problem so much anymore, but in the 90’s and 2000’s, there were a lot of discs just annihilated by a lot of car decks. It didn’t seem to matter if the car player was a high-end stereo or a piece of crap.  People would bring their used CDs in to me, and ask me how they looked.  I’d usually ask, “Did you play this in a car deck?”  I could always tell.  Customers would ask me, “How did you know?”  Because the CD would be completely scratched, but always in perfect circles.  Some dirt clearly got into the car deck, and scratched up the discs as they were spinning.  Or, the disc was just scraping up against the internal workings of the car player as it spun.  Either way, the result was usually a CD that looks like a kid’s Spirograph drawing.

At least when playing a cassette in the car, those things could take a beating.  I only ever had one or two that were “eaten” by the player.  Compare that to the thousands of CDs that I saw destroyed by car decks over the years.

If life is a musical journey, then cassettes were my travelling companions for over a decade.  We had a necessary parting of ways, and now I am happy to stick to CD and flash drives when on the road!

#419: Things Customers Do that Annoy Retail Workers

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RECORD STORE TALES MkII: Getting More Tale
#419: Things Customers Do that Annoy Retail Workers

A few days ago, I saw this “20 Things Customers Do that Annoy Retail Workers” via George Takei’s daily (hilarious) Facebook posts.  It is so true that it hurts!  The memories it brought back…shudder.  I could relate to almost every single one.  The list was generally about clothing stores, but many of the points were wide-ranging.  Here are my favourite parts from the list that applied to us, with my own notes from the front lines of the Record Store!

1.  Asking “Do you work here?”  That used to drive me nuts.  Our boss used to make us wear these ugly STAFF tags.  It was like wearing a big hanging sign around your neck, it was so humiliating.  And still we’d get these questions!

5. “Tell you that an item that you sell is cheaper in another store.”  I’m not sure why people felt the need to do this at my store.  Their tone didn’t make it seem like they were trying to help.  Especially that one lady who told me, “Walmart has this cheaper than you.  HAH!”

7. “Try to return products which have been damaged by misuse”.  Ugh!  Someone in my store sold a brand new, sealed copy of Hit Zone 2 to a lady whose kids clearly used it as a skating rink.  When she returned it, she was furious!  “Do you always sell CDs that don’t work?” she asked me in a huff.  I said no, I’m really sorry, but we can exchange it for you.  Then I looked at the CD!  I had never seen a brand new CD that had been so quickly destroyed.  I did the exchange, but then I made her open up the new copy at the counter, inspect it, and sign her receipt saying she had seen the CD in perfect condition and it could not be returned.  She was just abusing the system.

8. “Spend half an hour browsing the when the store is trying to close.”  I can add my own note to this one: “And then leave without buying anything.”

10. “When they hand you a $50 or $100 bill, and while you’re checking it they say ‘I just made that myself’”.  I know you think you’re really original, coming up with that line, but half the people that hand me a $100 bill say it.  The other half got really pissed off when I said “We don’t take $100 bills.”  (We had a sign that said so at the counter.  One employee named Chris liked to say, “Don’t make me tap the sign again.”)

12. “Parents that allow their children to run rampant”.  This was one sure-fire way to ruin my day.  There’s nothing like watching a kid destroy your store, while the parent is browsing Limp Bizkit yelling, “Calm down!”  Obviously, the kid doesn’t calm down, and so he moves on to another section to destroy.  One youngster tore down my entire country section – put the whole thing in one gigantic pile on the floor.  The dad just said, “That’s not too bad, you’ll have that back together in no time.”  Thanks for the help.

14. “Complain about the prices. News flash, I don’t set the prices!”  Self-explanatory.  As manager I had the ability to offer you a discount.  However, being annoying and complaining constantly would not get you a discount.  Being polite would.  Turns out we gave very few discounts….

18. “You look like you need something to do.”  Usually said by someone carrying in a box of 400 CDs for sale, which will take me the rest of the morning to look at.  Thanks for the joke asshole, and so help me God you better not have more Limp Kizkit in here.

20. “So that means it’s free, right?”  That was probably funny the very first time somebody said it, when a price tag fell off the item they were buying.  Probably.  But that was also probably in ancient Greece and it hasn’t been funny since!

#416: A Day Off

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GETTING MORE TALE #416: A Day Off

I’m taking today off from blogging.  It’s my birthday!  So I’ll be opening stuff like this, while you are hopefully enjoying a nice day off, too.

I deserve a day off!  I’ve been posting here almost daily for three and a half years!  I’ve accumulated almost 1600 posts in that time, so I’m sure you won’t hold it against me.

In the meantime, you can check out the past birthday related posts.  I’ll be back tomorrow with more rock!

Thank you Aaron for the gift…whatever it may be…well, it could be a bomb but it’s not ticking!  I will be sure to update you all with photos of whatever musical treasures await me today.

Best,

LeBrain

#410: Doing it Right

Christmas

RECORD STORE TALES MkII: Getting More Tale
#410: Doing it Right

I’ve complained about the way I was treated toward the end of the Record Store Days, but that was a small part of my life there.  In the beginning before we grew too big for our britches, it was a wonderful place to be.   There were a lot of things we did right, and there are hundreds of great memories of that era.

What did we do right, or differently, to make it so special for us?

  1. No uniforms! I remember the staff at HMV had these ugly shirts they had to wear.   We had plain T-shirts with a logo, which were optional most of the time.
  2. A better listening selection. Although the rules about this got more restrictive later on, back then we could listen to pretty much any one of the thousands of used CDs we had in stock.  Big chain stores at the time had less flexibility in their playlists.
  3. I felt a real “all for one, one for all” attitude.  It was inclusive.  I felt like we were the up-and-comers, underdogs ready to take on the big record stores.  Management were excellent at sowing this kind of feeling, that we were all on the same team even if we worked at different stores.  When the owner took a step back and let others run the show, the feeling of camaraderie changed into a feeling of exclusion.  Nothing lasts forever, but I felt much more job satisfaction when I felt like I was contributing to a real team.
  4. Rewarding the staff.   We had an annual Christmas party, and an annual summer house party.  These were epic.  “Time to release the hatch!”  As a store manager, I always did my best to reward my own staff, by buying them CDs that they wanted.  I did this voluntarily with my own cash because that’s the kind of manager I tried to be.
  5. The owner was willing to help out.  I remember him saying in a newspaper interview that he “still washed the windows sometimes.”  While I never saw him wash the windows, he was always willing to jump behind the counter when we were busy.  This continued even into my last year.
  6. People power. I don’t know if anything is more important in the workplace than the quality of the people you work with.  Work is a second home.  In some cases you spend more time with your co-workers than your family.  Both the owner and his people were very good at hiring excellent staff.  There will always be a certain percentage of bad apples and people who don’t work out, but I had the privilege of working with some of the best.  I feel genuinely blessed to have the experience of knowing and working side by side with these unique folk

I’ve somehow managed to find great places to work with amazing people.  Today I work with another completely different crew, and each and every one of them is awesome.  I’ve never seen a more diverse bunch and that keeps it fun and interesting every day!

#396: Ladano


The song “Ladano” written by Veronica Tapia, performed by Stan Climie (bass clarinet), Laurie Radford (electronics)

RECORD STORE TALES MkII: Getting More Tale
#396: Ladano

It looks easy to say, and it is!  LA-DA-NO.  Emphasis on the middle DA. That’s it!  That’s all!

Yet, as a kid, I knew that if I ever wanted to be a famous rock star, I’d have to change my name.  I considered “Michael Ladd” as a good stage name.  See, the problem is that most of my life, people haven’t been able to pronounce my last name.  Would Peter Criss be famous today if he went by his real name Peter Criscoula?  Would Gene Simmons still be the Demon today, if he stuck with the name Chaim Witz?  I don’t know, but it’s hard to imagine the 1960’s with Robert Zimmerman instead of Bob Dylan, right?  “Michael Balzary” is harder to say than “Flea”…and would Declan McManus had a shot at the charts if he didn’t change his name to Elvis Costello?

The ironic thing is, my grandfather changed his last name’s spelling in the early 1900’s to “Ladano” so that Canadians would be able to pronounce it easier.  I’m sure he would have been disappointed in my 2nd grade teacher who must have thought I was related to Lando Calrissian, since she pronounced it “LaLando”.

Sometimes my sister, also a musician, will be referred to simply as “Lando”, to which she would really like to respond, “You’ve got a lot of guts coming here…after what you pulled.”

She has stubbornly refused to change her name even after marriage.  In fact she has a song called “Ladano”.

Here are some more of the best variations of my last name that I have seen and heard:

  • “Ledano”
  • “Ladana” (in my dad’s first email address set up by Bell!)
  • “Ladno”
  • “Landon”
  • “Landano”
  • “Landono”
  • “Landoni”
  • “Laudon”
  • “Ladino”
  • “Ladeeno”
  • “Ladhani”
  • “Ladayno”

And finally, my favourite:

  • “Radono”

That last one was on an official cheque from a major bank!

My last name is traditionally supposed to be spelled Laudano.  I’ve traced my family back five generations to Amalfi, Italy in the mid-1800’s.  Our side of the family left Amalfi for Sicily, opening up a shop there in Porto Empedocle.  The Laudanos then left for America in the early 1900’s and changed the spelling on purpose after arrival.  I think my grandfather would be disappointed to see the many mutilations of our name, despite him simplifying it to Ladano!

There are many Laudanos still out there, some in Ontario, Canada and others in New Hampshire.  One thing we all have in common:  Whether it is spelled Ladano or Laudano, we’re all family and we call each other “Cousin”.  (Turns out the Laudanos are actually a musical family with an extensive history of musicians!) One recent “cousin” I have met is Luigi, who came here from Amalfi Italy, where the Laudanos also originated. He is a very popular server from the highly recommended local restaurant Borealis (“Think Global, Eat Local”). Luigi married into the Laudano family, so now we call ourselves “cousins”! Getting to know those Laudanos has been a lot of fun for us.

I wonder if my cousins have had their name as mangled as mine?!*

BASS 2

* In a strange twist, one of my former online handles used to get mangled, too.  “Geddy”.  I used to use the name “Geddy” on message boards about 20 years ago.  The majority of people misspelled it “Getty”.  I’m not kidding. 

#395: Dutch Boy

RECORD STORE TALES MkII: Getting More Tale
#395: Dutch Boy

As kids in the 1980s growing up in Kitchener, we would buy our music anywhere we could find it.  A lot of mine came from the mall: stores like Zellers and A&A Records.  Other places to find music included Hi-Way Market on Weber Street.  That store was incredible!  They had the largest toy section I’d ever seen, and every Christmas a professional Lego builder would put together a giant display.  None of these places exist anymore.

Another place that carried a small section of music was actually Dutch Boy Food Markets, just down the street from Hi-Way Market.  It too is long gone, but I have many memories.  It had a modest dedicated music area, but they also sold food, toys and clothing.  It was considered a supermarket but it had a little bit of everything.  My dad remembers buying many of my beloved G.I. Joe figures at that store.  He also says that we bought our Atari 2600 there.  That Atari still works today.  I think we got it in 1982.  My aunt actually used to work at a Dutch Boy location (not the same one) in Waterloo.

My friend Bob used to go there frequently.  I used to think it was because he was Dutch, but it probably had more to do with the fact that one of the Kitchener stores was within biking distance.

One afternoon in early ’88, we hopped on our bikes and hit Dutch Boy to check out the music section.  This “new” band called Whitesnake had been in our ears lately, but we only knew two albums:  Slide It In and Whitesnake/1987.  I didn’t even know they had any albums out before Slide It In at that point.  You can imagine our surprise when we found numerous other Whitesnake titles at Dutch Boy:  Snakebite, Trouble, Lovehunter, Come An’ Get It, Saints & Sinners, and Live…in the Heart of the City.  All reissued by Geffen, all on cassette.

WHITESNAKE FRONT

“Woah!” Bob exclaimed.  “Whitesnake!  Is this the same band?”

“No it can’t be.” I said.  “They’re only supposed to have two albums!”

Each of us grabbed a mitt full of Whitesnake cassettes and began examining them for more details.

This Whitesnake and our Whitesnake were both on Geffen.  This Whitesnake shared the same logo that was found on Slide It In.  It had to be the same band after all.  I explained this to Bob.

“This is the same Whitesnake,” I said.  “Look…they are using the same logo.”

“Yeah,” he replied, “but have you ever seen that guy before?”  He pointed to Mickey Moody on the cover of the live album.  He sure didn’t look like anybody I knew from Whitesnake, but it was impossible to ignore the evidence.

MOODY

“I think,” concluded Bob, “that Whitesnake are another band that had albums out before we heard of them.”  That happened from time to time.  We would discover a “new” band like White Lion or Europe, only to find that they had some little-known earlier albums.  It made it both frustrating and exciting to try and collect albums.

We both started collecting the earlier Whitesnake music.  Bob was first, picking up Saints & Sinners at Dutch Boy.  He brought the tape over one afternoon for me to copy. We loved the original version of “Here I Go Again”, as well as “Crying in the Rain”.  Later on, I added Snakebite and Come An’ Get It to my collection.  I enjoyed the earlier, more rock & roll sounds of these previously unknown Whitesnake tapes.

I’m not sure exactly when Dutch Boy closed, but I do remember the last album I bought there.  It was now spring 1990, and I had a CD player by then.  Once again Dutch Boy did not disappoint.  I found a Van Halen disc there that I had never seen before on any format other than vinyl.  The album was Fair Warning.   Since it was the most “rare” Van Halen I had found so far, I chose to buy it.  It came to about $24 with tax, a lot of money for an album that was barely half an hour long.  It should go without saying that Fair Warning was one of the best purchases that my young self ever made.

Too bad Dutch Boy had to shut its doors.  It was a good store and I hear a lot of fond memories of it from others.  Do you remember?

DUTCH BOY

#393: Format of Choice

RECORD STORE TALES MkII: Getting More Tale
#393: Format of Choice

What is your audio format of choice?  Which is the one that makes up the majority of your collection?

In addition to occasionally speaking in the third person, LeBrain has specific wants and needs in his music collection.  I have a fast and loose set of rules when it comes to choosing the format on which I buy new music.  Some prefer the ease and speed of downloading from iTunes.  Others prefer the so-called “warmth” of vinyl.  How do you decide what formats to buy your music on?

Here are my collection priorities:

#1.  Compact Disc

99% of my collection is on CD.  I have many reasons for this.  One is the superior sound quality:  a CD just sounds better than an mp3.  A CD won’t crash like a hard drive.  The oldest CDs in my collection are over 25 years old, and still look and play perfect.  They have always been stored in their CD cases after use, in a cool dry place.  They do not suffer from CD rot, which is a deterioration of the aluminum layer inside a CD due to oxidation.  The discs may not last 100 years, but I am confident that most if not all will be enjoyed through my lifetime.  CD rot can be minimized or prevented just by handling your CDs correctly.

I have chosen CD as my #1 format for other reasons other than longevity.  They are easily transferred to mp3 for better portability (they are already easily portable).  Playing mp3 files in a mobile environment like my car can only extend the life of the source CD.  Also, compact discs are easy to store and just look cool when all lined up in my collection!

I buy almost all my CDs online now, and they ship fast and easy.  Most of the time the packages will even fit in my mailbox, saving me a trip to the post office!  For these simple reasons, CDs are the lion’s share of the LeBrain Library.

#2. Vinyl

IMG_20150420_174459Today’s vinyl LP has been around since 1948, and even then the technology wasn’t new.  It merely updated and standardized something that had been playing on gramophones for a couple decades.  They used to be made out of substances such as hard rubber and shellac, but vinyl proved to be versatile and enduring.

Since vinyl has been around so long, and couldn’t even be killed off by the cassette or compact disc, it is safe to say you should always be able to buy something to play an LP.  However, an LP doesn’t have the longevity of a CD in terms of a long playing life.  Your CD laser never makes contact with the plastic, but your stylus does contact the surface of the vinyl.  The force of friction means that every play will wear down your LP, even if it’s only microscopically.  The key is to use good clean equipment and records.  If you do, a record will outlast a temporary format such as VHS or cassette tape.  Minimizing friction-causing dust particles extends the life of both LP and needle.

For all these reasons, vinyl is my second priority in format collecting.  They are bigger and take up more room, but when I want the warmth of an LP or just bigger cover art, there is only one way to go.  180 gram vinyl is especially nice to hold and listen to.  For buying old albums affordably, vinyl is a great alternative to CD.  Some old metal albums have had limited CD releases in other territories, making them expensive and hard to get once they go out of print.  Vinyl can be a cheaper alternative for your collection.

Vinyl bonus tracks are a slam-dunk reason to buy an LP.  Alice Cooper’s Welcome 2 My Nightmare is a great example of an LP that has a track unavailable on any other format (“Flatline”).  And of course Jack White took the idea of LP bonuses to the ultimate level with his “Ultra LP” version of Lazaretto.

#3.  Digital download (mp3)

I hate paying money for something that does not physically exist.  If I have to, I will, but I only “have to” when there are bonus tracks unavailable on any physical format.  Given the choice and the money, I will always buy the physical version, not just 1’s and 0’s floating around on a magnetic hard drive.  I hate that you (usually) don’t get any info or liner notes with an mp3.  I hate that your hard drive just needs to have a nice crash for you to lose this music that you paid for.  I understand the convenience, but digital downloads do not service my needs.

I know there are high quality download formats such as FLAC, but that still doesn’t solve the problem of not being on a physical format that won’t crash, and my issue of paying for a non-physical entity. I also know that a lot of people don’t care about these things, and I wanted to understand why. I asked one reader why he prefers his iTunes:

“Here’s my deal: At the time when iTunes first came out, I had three young daughters. Getting to the record store (when there were record stores) was tuff to say the least, let alone the cost as well! I just couldn’t drop $20 all the time. Sure, I made exceptions and I bought actual product like Maiden and Rush, but iTunes became my way of music buying. Especially re-buying albums I had owned on cassette or vinyl. I just re-buy them on iTunes and download straight to my iPod! Now that my daughters are teens, I have just stayed the course with iTunes. I pre-order product from them, like the latest Priest, and the Van Halen live album. Convenience is just the way of life for me now! Don’t get me wrong though, I would still enjoy buying the actual product, but man it does boil down to affordability! iTunes delivers that and I can stay current with adding to my dinosaur rock collection! Ha!”

#4.  Cassette

IMG_20150420_174810Once the mighty majority of my collection, cassettes have been reduced to a mere novelty.  I treasured them for portability and convenience, but now I loathe them.  I debated putting mp3 last on my formats of choice, but the truth is, cassette is far worse.

Cassettes have several things going against them.  The first is moving parts.  A CD or LP requires no moving parts, but a cassette has spindles and rollers that rub against and wear the magnetic tape.  Sometimes a cassette’s parts can be too tight inside, causing it to warble when you play it.  But it’s the analog tape itself that is the real problem.  Even brand new, a cassette will not sound as rich as an LP because it’s not capable of reproducing the same range of frequencies.  A cassette has a built-in high level of static noise.  Then once you start playing it, magnetic particles begin to wear off.  In fact over time, tapes will degrade to be unlistenable, no matter how well you take care of them.  Even worse, record companies used the worst quality tape for their releases.  If you bought a cheap blank Sony tape, you would have better quality than a store-bought record label’s cassette.

The poor sound and lack of longevity are the two main reasons I’m still replacing all of my old tapes with CDs and LPs.  Anybody got a copy of Bonham’s Mat Hatter on CD for me to upgrade to?  How about Wolfsbane’s first?  Still looking for those!

#5. Miscellaneous

Not really ranked last, I just wanted to mention other formats that I own music on.

5.1 surround sound can’t be encoded on a standard CD, so DVD and Blu-ray have to step up to the plate.  I have several Rush, Queen, Black Sabbath and Deep Purple albums (among many others) that have been given official Quadrophonic or 5.1 surround mixes.  Often, these mixes include bits of music that are not in the stereo versions, such as guitar solos and fills.

The problem with DVD and Blu-ray is that I only have one home theater system.  I only have one place, one room in the house, where I can listen to these special albums.  I can’t play them in the car, on a walk, or at the cottage.  As such, a Quad or 5.1 release gets limited listens at Chez LeBrain.

How many people are there like me?  Let me know your favourite formats in the comments section!

#391: Nicknames II

A sequel to Part 230: Nicknames.

RECORD STORE TALES MkII: Getting More Tale
#391: Nicknames II

Every workplace has its nicknames. At my current job one of my nicknames is “Ernie” (as in Bert & Ernie, another guy is Bert). Another one is “Hermey” due to a perceived resemblance to one of Santa’s elves in Rudolph the Red Nosed Reindeer.  My most well known nickname is of course LeBrain, which originated on the radio.  I solved one of Craig Fee’s 4 O’clock 4-Play on Dave FM in record time.  Craig said, “Check out the brain on Mike Ladano! Mike ‘LeBrain’!”  The name stuck.

Here is a second selection of favourite nicknames from the Record Store days and beyond!

  • Goggles Pizano – Taken from an episode of The Flintstones, this name was given to the store owner when he got some new glasses.
  • Lynie-Lynie-Boing-Boing – A term of endearment I used for one of our store managers named Lyne.
  • Seven – A nickname given to me by Jen’s best friend Lara. There’s a whole story about this one, a painful story!*
  • Time Traveler – This odd fellow ordered some CDs, and left a business phone number to contact him at during the days. When called, he always answered “Time travel.” I don’t know what that business was, we never asked, so we just called him “Time Traveler”!
  • Scottish Man – A Scottish man who sold CDs.
  • Cow Man – A name given to Wiseman, by Joe Big Nose (another nickname!) due to his sideburns which apparently gave him a cow-like appearance.
  • Snake Face/Cobra Commander – Similar to above. A nickname given to a staff member because apparently his hair gave him a cobra-like cowl.
  • LeCock – I was dubbed with this name by a frustrated Dave FM listener who failed to guess a 4-O’clock 4-Play!  Burn!

LECOCK *Saving this for its own installment.