pop music

Part 288: The Lady In Red?

RECORD STORE TALES Part 288: The Lady In Red?

In mid-1996, I was minding the store one sunny morning. It was a pleasant summer day. A quiet morning, I was at the counter inputting new stock. As I slaved over a hot keyboard, entering CD after CD into inventory, I saw an old lady in a slinky red dress enter the store. As was our custom, I said hello as she entered. She didn’t respond and I went back to entering CDs as she looked around the easy listening section of the store.

That is when I noticed something very unusual with the lady in red.  (For the time.)

LADY IN REDMy boss noticed it too, as he emerged from his office in the back. She barely had any hair on her head. We both came to the realization at the same time: the lady in red was a man!

An old, skinny, bald man in a red dress!

It was not a pleasant sight, this skeletal frame accented by the loose silky red fabric.  LGBTQ+ is A-OK by me but this was a sight from a horror movie.  A living dead zombie in a dress.  Shopping for CDs.

My boss and I exchanged glances. We looked back at the man, just to make sure our eyes were not deceiving us. No; that was most definitely an ancient man in that red dress, casually browsing the easy listening section. Perhaps he was looking for some old Chris de Burgh?

My boss said to me, “Mike, can you go over there and see if he needs help finding anything?”

We watched as the skeleton spent 10 or 20 minutes browsing, the only customer in the whole store. Then without a word, but with a flourish of his red dress, he left. I never saw him again.

I wonder if I would have made a customer if I had approached the walking cadaver in red for help? Too bad I didn’t have a copy of The Very Best of Chris de Burgh. I could have popped in his theme song and made a sale!

DVD REVIEW: Classic Albums – Def Leppard – Hysteria (DVD)

Part 2 of a 2 part Def Lep extravaganza


DEF LEPPARD – Classic Albums – Hysteria (2002 Eagle Vision DVD)

Of all the Classic Albums DVDs that I own, this is one of the most frequently played. And I own a lot. In case you didn’t know, Classic Albums is a fantastic series of discs. Go back into the recording studio where the album was made, with the producer or engineer who recorded it, and the band themselves. You get to hear the original multitrack tapes deconstructed, and we get to hear the band talking about the genesis of the songs and what happened in the studio. Best of all, we get to see the band listening and discovering parts that even they forgot.

Hysteria is such a rich, textured, thick album with a long story so this DVD is an obvious slam dunk. The only thing it lacks is Mutt Lange’s knowledge (a notorious recluse). Otherwise, the band go back to the beginning with the early demos. “Animal” was sparse but remarkably recognizable while still in demo form, down to the false ending. Something like “Rocket” is deconstructed so you can hear the drum orchestra that was laid down, while Joe Elliott talks about how it was inspired. The backing vocals of “Gods of War” are laid out bare, virtually every single word sung and recorded separately! That’s the kind of album this is.

Along with that, Joe, Phil and Sav also perform bits live in the studio. This helps to illustrate the individual parts further.  It is revealed to “Love Bites” was brought to the band by Lange as a country song; you can hear the roots on this DVD.  Rick Allen is there to discuss his accident, an obviously emotional moment. Steve Clark is discussed too, and Vivian Campbell is on hand to talk about the numerous guitar parts that he inherited and has to play live.

JEFF RICHMy favourite feature of this DVD is actually in the bonus material.  It’s the chapter that covers the first shows that Leppard played after Rick Allen’s accident. Originally, Jeff Rich from Status Quo was tapped to play a second drum kit alongside Allen on stage, just in case Allen got tired, slipped out of time, or couldn’t finish the show. There were so many variables that nobody knew what would happen during what really amounted to Allen’s comeback shows. Well, for one show in the middle of nowhere, Jeff Rich was late.  If he had turned up on time, maybe Rick Allen would never have found out that he could play a full Def Leppard show on his own.  Allen did the show with no help on the drums, and he nailed it.  Rich told Allen that he didn’t need any more help, and that was it!   Jeff Rich is there to talk about that day, which was a nice touch.

Of the whole Classic Albums series, this one is certainly my favourite.

5/5 stars

REVIEW: Bon Jovi – Greatest Hits: The Ultimate Collection (2 CD)

Part 1 of a 2 part Bon Jovi series.

ULTIMATE BJ_0001BON JOVI – Greatest Hits: The Ultimate Collection (2 CD)

I guess Bon Jovi were due for a new “hits” CD. Crossroads, after all, was 16 years old at that time, and Tokyo Road was only made available in Japan. Ultimate Collection isn’t the ultimate collection that I would have put out.  If you’re going to do two CDs, you have room for great also-rans like “Last Cigarette” and “Something For The Pain”.  Still, it’s not a bad Bon Jovi collection. Listening to it front-to-back, I was pleasantly reminded of all these hits, and man, Bon Jovi had a lot of hits. From early stuff like “Runaway” to the New Jersey classics such as “Born To Be My Baby”, to the newbies like “Have A Nice Day”, this has pretty much all the key Bon Jovi radio hits. Unfortunatly, you’re going to miss out on second-rung hits like “Dry County” and “Joey” but for the uninitiated, or those who just want a good sized Bon Jovi collection, this is the place to go.  I think it’s important to explore albums such as New Jersey (the review of which is Part 2 in this series) and Keep the Faith, as well as hits.

Almost every Bon Jovi album has hits included here, right up to The Circle. The song flow is excellent, hitting you with hit after hit after hit, landmark ballads sprinkled in between. And I give credit for the inclusion of “Blood On Blood”, a song that was never a single but has been a huge concert favourite due to its real life story of JBJ’s childhood. Not to mention it’s just a great song.

ULTIMATE BJ_0003The four new songs create feelings of moderate indifference to great dislike. “What Do You Got?” is another trademark Bon Jovi ballad, certainly nothing special, outshined to a great degree by all the other tunes here. It’s easily forgettable and feels tacked-on as an afterthought. But two of these new songs — “No Apologies” and “The More Things Change” are just awful songs. Cheesy, contrived, choose whatever words you like, they’re juvenile and awful and really don’t fit in among the classier hits. To me these are B-sides and perhaps should have been held back as B-sides.  Or just deleted completely.

Packaging is not the greatest. There are full songwriting and production credits, but they are arranged in such a way as to make finding information difficult. Performance credits are even harder to find — I couldn’t find bassists Hugh McDonald or Alec John Such’s names anywhere in the credits, and their pictures are also not included. There are a few more recent photos of the main four guys. No liner notes.

On the whole, despite the fact that I don’t really like the four new songs, I don’t regret this purchase. It’s going to be a great road CD. It is a good way to hear tunes like “We Weren’t Born To Follow” without listening to the album it came from, which I wasn’t too keen on. So, no regrets. I think most fans will like the album, they might even like the new songs.  Mrs. LeBrain’s Mom enjoyed it in the car and commented that she knew many of the songs.  Newcomers would be wise to pick this up as it has a great hit-per disc ratio!

3/5 stars

Part 275: Catharis (Second Anniversary special)

MIKELADANOMikeladano.com celebrates its second anniversary today!  It started with Record Store Tales Part 1, and here we are at Part 275!  (That’s one tale every 2.65 days for the numbers-oriented out there.)  A huge THANK-YOU to everyone who’ve read my stuff; as David Lee Roth says, “It ain’t no fuckin’ good without an audience.”  I also need to thank those friends that read this stuff years ago and told me to keep writing — they know who they are.   And my family, but especially the lovely Mrs. LeBrain who lets me rock and roll all nite and part of every day.  I love you sweety.

Enjoy this Record Store Tale!

RECORD STORE TALES Part 275:  Catharsis

Sometimes when I hit these milestones, I like to reflect on where I’ve been and where I’m headed.  Two years ago when I began publishing the Record Store Tales I didn’t know if anyone would read it.  I was pleased to find that enough people enjoyed reading these stories that it was worth continuing.

I knew when I started posting these that eventually, inevitably, somebody from the old record store would find them.  I made the decision to write under my real name, not a pseudonym.  I anticipated that while some of my old friends would be entertained by these stories, some would not.  I took efforts to protect the identities of the characters in the story that are not portrayed in a positive light.

I did a “soft” launch of the site.  That is, I began publishing the stories one chapter at a time, but I kept it to myself and a close circle of friends.  The response was very positive and constructive.  While some friends urged me to “keep it short”, one of the most popular earlier stories was one of the longest.  Part 16: Traveling Man was the story of a long misadventure in Oakville Ontario, climaxed by an encounter with an unpleasant lawyer customer.  One friend told me the story was “fucking hilarious” and that he anticipated from the start that the guy in the story was a lawyer.   This feedback encouraged me to keep going for it.  I was fired up.

Then once I had enough content up to give people something substantial to read, I did my “official” launch via Facebook, Twitter and email.  It didn’t take long for the rain to hit my parade.  As I anticipated some people from the store didn’t like my stories, but Spoogecakes was the only one to publicly voice her disgust, way back in Part 35.5.  The funny thing about this was that I hadn’t planned on even mentioning Spoogecakes in my story, but then she went and wrote herself in.  Oh well.

I never could have done a white-washed version of the Record Store Tales.  I tried.  Seven or eight years ago I tried something called “Record Store-ies” (lame title, I know).  Some of the “Record Store-ies” got recycled into the old Klassic Kwotes, but it wasn’t the satisfying, cathartic experience that my soul had been craving.  After the Spoogecakes shit-storm, I approached a mentor of mine about the situation.  I asked him if I had been too negative in the past, if I should have toned it down.  His response to me was something I have taken to heart ever since.

“If you compromise your art in order to please a small minority of people no matter how vocal, you will ultimately end up with a piece of art that you don’t like.”

That was great advice.  My bottom line is always, “Do I like it?”  I’ve tried to maintain a balance.  There are stories about people with whom I conflicted, but there are also stories about things like me shitting my pants in the store.   And I didn’t give myself an alias for these stories!

This isn’t just storytelling to me.  This is catharsis.  While I was experiencing everything I experienced in the record store, good or bad, I held tight to one thought.  That thought was, “When this is all over, at least I will have a bunch of great stories to share.  If I can entertain just a few people with these stories then it’s all been worth it.”   Spoogecakes commented that there are “two sides to every story”.

That’s right.  And this is mine.

Part 259: New Release Twos-days

A sequel to Part 97:  New Release Tuesdays.

Part 259:  New Release Twos-days

New releases were almost always Tuesdays.   There are only so many Tuesdays in a year, and many music stars avoid releasing their albums on the same day as a rival’s.  Others like to go head to head, or try to beat other artists to the punch by releasing their albums early.  Record labels plan release strategies around these Tuesdays like generals going to war.  Advertising blitzes are ordered, interview campaigns co-ordinated, and personnel rallied.

Most often, bands didn’t want to compete with rival bands over limited consumer dollars.  On June 14, 2005, the three big releases we stocked that day weren’t fighting over the same customers.  Foo Fighters’ In Your Honor was the album I had been waiting for, but my good buddy Dan Slessor from Kerrang! magazine sent me a UK copy with the bonus track “The Sign” so I was going to keep waiting until  it arrived.  In Your Honor and its single “Best Of You” remain highlights of the Foo œuvre.  I expected steady sales.

On the same day, the Backstreet Boys returned from a lengthy hiatus.  Extending that hiatus was the release date of their comeback CD Never Gone (ha ha) which was pushed back almost a year.  I didn’t expect much mileage out of this album.  Then in the rap section, we had Fat Joe.  All Or Nothing was the name of his album.  Rap was usually a quiet but reliable seller.  Although some rap albums were sluggish and often died quickly, if you ordered in conservative quantities we could usually do well with rap.  You just had to know when to drop the title before people stopped buying it.  This is the kind of argument I would get into with our Head Office people all the time.  Sometimes they were right, sometimes they were wrong and I was right.  However I felt that they often used my well-known love of Heavy Metal music against my arguments, any time I was in favour of dropping a rap or dance title.  “You just want to get rid of it because you don’t like it,” they would say.  There’s just nothing you can say when somebody has that set in their minds already.

Anyway, on this Tuesday I proved to be wrong about first-day sales predictions.  I dug up my journal from that day.  And the winner is…

A tie!

Date: 2005/06/14 17:35

I have sold just as many Backstreet Boys as Foo Fighters today.

But nobody bought Fat Joe.

For the record, I’m also the one who predicted that Nick Carter’s solo album would outsell Justin Timberlake’s.  It really didn’t turn out at all like that!

Part 242: The Ego Has Landed

RECORD STORE TALES Part 242: The Ego Has Landed

In the spring and summer of 1999, Robbie Williams suddenly got big in Canada.  Previously he was all but an unknown.  That is until they compiled the best songs from his first two solo albums (Life Thru A Lense and I’ve Been Expecting You) onto one CD and called it The Ego Has Landed.  This compilation went platinum in Canada, but before that I had never heard of Robbie Williams.

One of my staff guys Matty K started spinning The Ego Has Landed in-store.  It actually grew on me quite quickly.   I bought it and still own it today.  I don’t play it often, but I have three major memories of this album that still stick with me:

1.       Once I got into it, Matt and I would play this album almost every shift together.  He’d pull his sweater up over his nose and imitate the cover.  Then in horrible accent he’d recite the hidden poem at the end of the CD, “Hello Sir”.  Good times!

2.       When we first carried it, I wanted to find out who Robbie Williams was.  I knew nothing about him, except that people were asking for the CD.  I then discovered via the magical internets that he was ex-Take That.  I knew who they were, at least.  Also, Alex Dickson from Bruce Dickinson’s band was playing with him.  I had no idea!   I remember trying to tell one of my bosses these cool details, only to have them snap at me!

“Hey, did you know who this Robbie Williams is?” I asked.

“I don’t care!” they barked.  “You’re carrying it, whether you like it or not!”

“I was just going to tell you that he used to be with Take That,” I responded sheepishly.   Somebody needed to chill the fuck out.  Bad times!

3.       I’d been waiting patiently for a used copy to come in, so I could get it cheaper.  I had a big cottage weekend coming up, and my friend Shannon was coming with me.  I didn’t want to subject her to thrash metal in the car trip, and I really wanted Robbie for the journey.  The weekend was fast approaching, so I decided to spend the money on a brand new copy.  We had a great trip and a great weekend, but the following week, guess what came in used and much cheaper?  The Ego Has Landed!  Fuck me.

I was given a free copy of the followup album, Sing When You’re Winning, by Warren from Global Bass magazine.  Unfortunately, I didn’t like it nearly as much as The Ego Has Landed.  In fact I’ve never bought a Robbie album since!

Part 240: Lemon Kurri Klopek – Living the Dream! (On the road with Steve Earle)

RECORD STORE TALES Part 240:

Lemon Kurri Klopek – Living the Dream!  (On the road with Steve Earle)

I immediately liked Lemon Kurri upon meeting him.  I was introduced to LK (who also goes by the excellent real name of Mike) as our newest franchise owner and fellow Kiss fan.  I spent a lot of hours training him, and he was one of the best people I met through the record store.  He was easy to work with, and genuinely appreciated my help.  One thing I will always remember, is that Lemon Kurri and his business partner Greg sent me notes of thanks for my help, and even cool records or CDs that I wanted.  It was Lemon Kurri who gave to me a treasured copy of Bruce Dickinson’s 12″ single for “All the Young Dudes”.  He also gave me Thin Lizzy’s “Gary Moore album”, Black Rose: A Rock Legend for my birthday one year.

When I eventually left the company, Lemon Kurri was supportive of my decision.  We stayed in touch and remained friends.  Two years later, LK himself moved on to new horizons.  I’m pleased to report that he is now living the dream, working for one of my own idols, Mr. Steve Earle himself.  Lemon Kurri is Steve’s “Merch Guy” and “unofficial drum tech” today.  He travels the world, and gets to hear one of the true greats playing at night.  Hard work but somebody has to do it.

Lemon Kurri has given me permission to share with you a selection of snaps of his life on the road with Steve Earle.  Enjoy.  Each picture tells a story!  Click a pic to enlarge and read the description.  Thanks letting me use these photos, Mike!

Lemon Kurri – drum tech!
Mike worked for Aimee Mann in 2009
“The Crew”
John Sebastian and Steve Earle
Steve gave him his own custom picks
Steve at the Vic in Chicago
Boulder Theater, Colorado
The kit
Jackson, WY
Goodies
Neil Young’s tour bus, parked outside Jack White’s studio
Portland, OR
Allman Brothers, Big House, Macon, GA. Steve Earle on the right.
Duane Allman’s bedroom
Spokane, WA

Part 239: Music for Your Mental Health

MENTAL

RECORD STORE TALES Part 239:
Music for Your Mental Health

Music can be absolutely vital to the human psyche.  I don’t know why it is, but the auditory sensation of vibrating air molecules that we call sound has an undeniable effect once modulated into music.  Some people find themselves drawn to the music, some the singing, others just the words.  Nobody experiences music exactly the same way, but for many of us, it has the ability to lift our spirits high.

I had a customer, who had been coming in for many years, who was diagnosed with a fairly common mental disorder.  He didn’t find it a  pleasant disorder to deal with.  The young man who I’ll call Billy had made a suicide attempt.  I didn’t see him for a while.  When I did see him come back, he had changed his appearance.  Gone was the long hair and beard.  What did not disappear was his love of music, which seemed to manifest itself even stronger after his attempt.

Billy had suddenly rediscovered 80’s new wave music, and with it modern electronica, techno, and trance.  He became extremely passionate.  He was especially fond of any and all New Order.  These artists in turn introduced him to the relaxing sounds of New Age music.  I couldn’t say it for certain, but if I had to make an observation, I would conjecture that the music gave him more focus and something to feel good about.

Soon, listening to music wasn’t enough anymore.  Billy wanted to make music.

His family were supportive.  Over the few years that I knew him, his family purchased for him the best computers, the best synthesizers, and encouraged him every step.  He dad acted as his manager.  They would come in periodically, looking for electronic music, and eager to update me on his musical progress.

“The CD is coming along well,” Billy would say.  “It’s going to be very relaxing, very dreamlike, and calming.  It’s great music.  I’m very excited.  My dad is helping me, we’re going to put a CD out.”

And put a CD out he did.   I’m far from the most knowledgeable person about electronic music, but it sounded good to me.  I could tell he put a lot of work into the tracks.  He did it all himself.  His extraordinary story got him some newspaper coverage too.  The best part was, the CD was really good.  I wouldn’t let him just give me a copy, I made a point of buying one.  I had to support my customer!

Music can be such a positive force.  It’s one of the few things I know of that can bring 100,000 people together.  It can change brain chemistry, and it can help us feel all kinds of emotions.  It can make you want to get up and dance, or make love, or play air guitar.  It can make you feel better and draw you in deeper.

Sometimes, I think about what music means to me personally.  I know it helped me survive.  Would Billy would have survived without music?  Would any of us?  There’s no way to know.  I do know that I am glad I got to know Billy.  He taught me that music really can change the world in powerful ways.

Part 223: The Bird

Bird bird bird bird is the word

RECORD STORE TALES Part 223:  The Bird

I hated doing bank runs.  Bank runs were required to make sure we had plenty of change in the register.  The denominations we tended to run out of most frequently were $1’s, $2’s, and $5’s.  Because we were buying used CDs (often offering between $1 and $6 per disc) it’s understandable how we could go through a tray full of $5’s in short order.

We’d run out all the time and I was sick and tired of getting in shit for running out of $5 bills.  I started a routine: once a week, we did a massive bank run that would always last us through the weekend and into the Monday.  Then, people complained that we had a lot of change to count in our register – but I never ran out anymore.

I’d call the bank up, and place my change order.  One time over 10 years ago, I brought one of my employees with me to do the change run.  The reasons for this were twofold.  One, I was carrying a lot of money and I liked having another person with me as backup.  Second, it was a good way of showing him how to do the change run for the future.

There’s usually a special “business line” at the bank that lets you cut the crowds.  We went into that line (overhearing a few people sneer, “how come they get to go before me when I’ve been waiting 20 minutes?”).  We got our change fairly quickly, and headed back out.

We got into my car and and began to make our way back to the store.  There were two traffic lanes heading out:  One a left-turn only lane, and one a right-turn or straight lane.  We were going straight, so I stopped at the red light.

We sat at the red light, shooting the shit, talking about music, when we both noticed a persistent honking behind us.  I looked over my shoulder and I saw a lady in a red car behind us yelling, and gesturing wildly.

“Is she honking at us?” I asked Chris, a little confused.

“I think so!” he answered.  “I think she wants to turn right.”

I watched her a bit in my mirror.  I think this only made her more angry, because her movements became even more animated.  I couldn’t make out what she was yelling, but she sure was letting it out.

“This is kind of weird,” I said.  “Nothing I can do about it though…I’m still going straight!”  I don’t think she knew we were both in a straight/right turn lane.  Maybe she had a disorder that rendered her incapable of reading street signs.

“The light’s green…just gun it, I’ll flip her the bird,” Chris said.

She had beaten Chris to the punch though, already waving her left hand in the air, finger up high, yelling and screaming at us as she finally made her right turn.  I was just glad she didn’t follow us to the store, which was right across the street!  People can be really weird about stuff like that these days.  And that’s the story of the weirdest bank run we ever did.

Part 216: The Most Expensive Thing I Ever Destroyed

Ultimate

RECORD STORE TALES Part 216:  The Most Expensive Thing I Ever Destroyed

The most expensive thing I ever destroyed was a Michael Jackson Ultimate Collection 5  CD box set.  The discs were pretty hacked, but salvageable.  We had the means to repair such discs, but the deeper the blemish, the harder this is.  Retail price on it was probably around $55, we had sunk at least $20 or $25 into it.  We didn’t see too many of them, which is why one of the staff paid $20 or $25 for a hacked box set.

Four of the discs we were able to fix no problem.  One of them was really bad.  It had one deep scratch in it that just refused to come out.  Other staff members, even the guy who was generally the best at getting scratches out, had failed as well.  One night it was slow in the store so I decided to take another shot at it.

I could see the scratch, clear as a bell, but I couldn’t feel anything with my fingernail.  We must have buffed it down so close to the actual scratch.  I just needed to buff a little more…and then I applied a little pressure.  A little more.  Looking good.  A little more…

Then I felt the familiar, frictiony bite of the plastic in the CD melting.  Once you’ve melted a disc, it’s done.  Finished.  Garbage.  Worthless.  You can see, if you look close enough.  You can see a tiny deflection, a distortion, kind of like a hot road on a summer day.  Once the plastic is melted, your player’s laser is refracted and the CD will skip.  And it will probably skip very, very badly.

That’s how I destroyed an expensive and rare Michael Jackson box set, forever and ever.