rainbow

REVIEW: Alcatrazz – Disturbing the Peace (1985)

ALCATRAZZ – Disturbing the Peace (1985 EMI, 2001 Light Without Heat)
Released as part of Steve Vai’s The Secret Jewel Box

This is the only Alcatrazz album I own.  The reason I own it is Steve Vai.  I’m a Steve Vai fan before I’m a Graham Bonnet or Yngwie Malmsteen fan.  Plus, this album was reissued exclusively in Steve’s stunning looking Secret Jewel Box (2001) as CD 2.   The collector in me wanted that box set and I was glad Steve was so thorough as to include collaborative efforts like this one in his box set.  According to Steve’s 2001 liner notes, Alcatrazz was one of his favourite band experiences and I think you can hear that.

Disturbing the Peace, Alaztrazz’s second LP, is very idea-heavy.  It’s dense musically and conceptually while still being straight-ahead rock music.  It’s the same trick Steve pulled on David Lee Roth’s universally acclaimed Eat ‘Em and Smile record.  Vai is credited as a co-writer on every track, except the instrumental “Lighter Shade of Green” on which he has sole credit.  Clearly, his input on the album is tremendous as it is literally covered with his fingerprints.  His style is all but fully formed (he had already recorded and released his experimental first solo album, Flex-able).  His guitar sound was certainly well on its way, and the way it shimmers with multiple layers is omnipresent on Disturbing the Peace.  Hell, Vai even recycles melodies from Flex-able, which he would recycle yet again on Passion & Warfare!

(Note:  I’m referring to the melody from Steve’s “Answers” from Passion and Warfare, which is also in “Wire and Wood” on Disturbing the Peace and “Little Green Men” on Flex-able.  While this is strictly conjecture, I assume this melody to be among the many that Steve “heard” in his lucid dreams that inspired the Passion and Warfare album.  Another such melody is “Liberty”, which was based on recollections of a lucid dream.)

There are some really great songs on Disturbing the Peace.  “God Blessed Video” (which had its own great video that featured Steve extensively) is a great example of the kind of powerful, melodic hard rock Graham Bonnet can produce.  It superficially resembles Rainbow’s “Death Valley Driver” (surely a coincidence) and has the same relentless drum stomp and chugging riff.  This is all left in the dust by Steve who anticipates his role as the “Devil’s Guitarist” from the movie Crossroads by stewing up an unconventionally wicked guitar solo.

The more straightforward metal of “Mercy” is credited to the whole band, also including Gary Shea (bass), Jan Uvena (drums) and Jimmy Waldo (keyboards).  That’s probably why it’s much more standard in construction.  Bonnet’s pipes get quite a workout, and Steve’s solo is jaw dropping.  The solo section here absolutely sounds like a prototype for Passion and Warfare.  “Will You Be Home Tonight” is steamy, a bit more laid back and heavy with atmosphere.  None of this prevents Bonnet from wailing, nor Vai for throwing down some space-age bluesy licks.  This kind of thing would come in handy for Whitesnake, later on.

The aforementioned “Wire and Wood” is actually the most Rainbow-like of the songs.  At times it almost sounds like a leftover from Down to Earth, but then Vai reminds us that this it was now 1985 and there’s a new kid on the block.  Side one closed with “Desert Diamond”, Steve Vai on Choral sitar this time.  This time I’m reminded of a similar gimmick on “My Little Man”, which Steve co-wrote for Ozzy’s Ozzmosis album.

“Stripper” is pretty far from lyrically sophisticated.  While “A dark and crowded room / Warm beer that’s stale” does set the scene, it’s not really a story that needed telling, I suppose.  Similarly, “Painted Lover” could not misconstrued as poetry.  “She just wants that hard stash, hot from your pocket.”  I’m sure, Graham.

It’s kind of weird hearing trashy lyrics like this sung over Steve’s schooled and intricate melodies and tricks.  It’s like the smartest kid in class helping out a less talented classmate or something.  Nothing against Graham of course, he’s had more hits than I have, so what do I know?

SKYFIRE

“Skyfire”

Steve’s “Lighter Shade of Green” solo is a brief intro to “Sons and Lovers”, one of the most accessible hard rock songs.  It has a grand chorus, courtesy of Graham, the kind of thing he’s very good at.  “Skyfire” (surely named after the 1985 Transformers character, right?) is a very 1980’s sounding groove.  I like the fast chuggy parts, the strong melodies, and Steve’s guitar bits.  I also like that I’m going to start a rumor that it’s named after the Transformers character.  (It’s actually about a UFO that Graham sighted.)

The only song I kinda don’t like is the last one, “Breaking the Heart of the City”.  It’s here that I feel the Vai/Bonnet experiment fails somewhat.  It sounds like it wants to be dark, heavy, and ominous, but Steve is whimsical at times, space-y and too smart.  Meanwhile I’m feeling that the song needs something gritty, some more chug, a little bit of grind, you know?

After revisiting Disturbing the Peace, I now feel an urge to get No Parole From Rock ‘n’ Roll and compare.  Steve Vai and Yngwie Malmsteen are polar opposites stylistically and it’ll be interesting to hear Yngwie’s version of Alcatrazz.

4/5 stars

Interestingly, Disturbing the Peace was produced by Eddie Kramer!

WTF Search Terms: Health & Safety edition

WTF Search Terms XI:  Health & Safety edition

Welcome back to WTF.  Everything seen below is an actual search term that somehow took people here to mikeladano.com.  In the public interest, today I thought I’d gather together health-concerned search items. (Missed the last installment?  Click here!)

  1. dr george morgan lebrain (I am only a doctor of Rock)
  2. doctors names and phone number in canada @yahoo.ca “+1” -spam (but I am unlisted)
  3. dude dont shit a brick (never a good idea)
  4. coleman biowipes reviews (great environmentally friendly product)
  5. open car door pissing (not recommended)
  6. how smoking makes you impotent
  7. pisser male door (again with the pissing)
  8. geoff tate spits on drummer (many viruses and bacteria can be transmitted through saliva)
  9. guys who piss with the door open (…?)
  10. how to loosen up and crack your neck  (very carefully is how…actually, just don’t.)

See ya next time for another batch of WTFs!

DIFFICULT TO CURE LP

The Toronto Musical Collectibles Record & CD Sale

My thoughts are with those in Boston tonight.
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Yesterday, T-Rev, Wes and I attended the  The Toronto Musical Collectibles Record & CD Sale.  T-Rev went specifically hoping to find Ogden’s Nut Gone Flake by the Small Faces, on vinyl, with the original round cover in displayable condition.  He came home with that record for the price of $30.

I hit paydirt.  I came with $200 and I left with $0 (there was a $5 entrance fee).  I also left with seven (7!!!) Japanese import rock albums all with bonus tracks, five 12″ records, a 7″ single, and a rare book.  Today I’ll show you the CDs, which I am most excited about!  You can see the rest another day.

You can’t find Japanese imports anymore around here.  And many of these are long out of print.  I’ve been looking for the Pistols’ Filthy Lucre Live since 1996.  Blackmore’s Rainbow is one that I’d seen before.  The HMV store at Fairview Mall in Kitchener had one…in 1995.  Rob Vuckovich used to try to goad me into buying it, but I couldn’t pay the $50 price tag for just one bonus track.  $15 though?  With obi strip intact?  Hell yeah!

So here’s the list of Japanese imports and what I paid.  I believe most of these have to be half of retail.

HAREM SCAREM – Live at the Gods.  This is a Japanese exclusive live album.  I paid $20, sealed.
SEX PISTOLS – Filthy Lucre Live.  I’ve been waiting a long time.  I love this album.  Two bonus tracks:  “Buddies” (“Bodies”) and “No Fun”.
SCORPIONS – Face the Heat.  I paid $15, for 2 wimpy bonus tracks called “Kami O Shin Jiru” and “Daddy’s Girl”.  Both are ballads, but for $15, no bother!
IAN GILLAN – Gillan’s Inn.  This one was a bit more expensive:  $30, because it had the DVD (that won’t play in this region).  But it also has the bonus track “Eternity” that isn’t even on the Tour Edition.
CORROSION OF CONFORMITY – Wiseblood.  I paid $20, has the bonus track “The Land of Free Disease”.
RAINBOW – Stranger In Us All.  Bonus track: “Emotional Crime”.  Paid $15.
WHITESNAKE – Good To Be Bad.  Paid $20, sealed.  Two bonus tracks:  “All For Love (Alt mix/Doug solo)” and “Summer Rain (Unzipped)”.
Lotsa Beatles
Beatles pommade!?
Telly Savalis!

REVIEW: Lee Aaron – Lee Aaron (1987 remastered)

LEE FRONT

LEE AARON – Lee Aaron (1987 Unidisc Music)

Lee Aaron: Canada’s “Metal Queen”. It is a name she will never live down despite the credible jazz career.  Try as she did to distance herself from the Metal Queen tag, Lee’s seems to embrace it more recently, even throwing a funky jazz-tinged version into her sets, as a mash-up with “Mysterious Ways” by U2!  And it works!

In the late 80’s, Lee (aka Karen) was less comfortable than today with being the Metal Queen, and her 1987 self-titled disc is possibly the best example of this.  All shades of metal were dropped; what was left is a mainstream pop rock record co-written with professionals such as Marc Ribler and Joe freakin’ Lynn Turner.

Growing up in Canada, you basically had two mainstream choices in female rock singers: Lita Ford, or Lee Aaron. That was all MuchMusic would play.  OK, sure the odd Joan Jett track too, after her resurgence with Up Your Alley.  That was it.  Otherwise the Pepsi Power Hour was pretty much devoid of regular female rock heroes.  There were the odd flashes in the pain — Vixen, Madame X — but Lee and Lita were the only two to get regular play year in year out.  Lee of course had the trump card labelled CanCon in her deck.

I got this album for Christmas 1987, and I was so disappointed. The sound — plastic, turgid, processed, synthetic, with hardly any guitars. The songs — commercial pop designed to get played on the radio and not a hint of metal to be found anywhere.  John Albini (now blonde all of a sudden?) is still her guitarist and co-writer, but there’s much less guitar on this album.  There are also some truly awful, awful songs on here, most notably “Don’t Rain On My Parade”. I won’t tell what that rains smells like, but it don’t smell good.

The single/ballad “Only Human” is a decent song, very soft, but not too far off from stuff the Scorpions would do later on!  (Lee actually sang backup vocals on “The Rhythm of Love” by the Scorps in ’88.)  The best track is actually the pop keyboard rocker, “Powerline”.  The guitar is not as dominant as the keyboards, but it does at least have some guitar.  It has Joe Lynn Turner’s melodic sensibilities and songcraft, hooks galore, and a smashing chorus.

But then you get tripe like “Goin’ Off the Deep End”, “Dream With Me”, and…ugh.  There was just no way, as a 15 year old, I was going to let anybody catch me listening to those songs.  People might have thought I’d stolen my sister’s Tiffany tapes or something.

Turns out that Lee, despite that powerful voice, just wasn’t cut out to be a Metal Queen. She’s doing great as a jazz singer, and I think that’s just fine.

1/5 stars

Part 168: The Constipated Ritchie Blackmore

RECORD STORE TALES Part 168: The Constipated Ritchie Blackmore

The date:  Before Christmas 2005 (my final Christmas at the store)

The place:  My store

The characters:  Myself, and “Box Set Man”

I had this one great customer, and dammit, I cannot remember his name.  We called him “Box Set Man” because he bought and sold a lot of box sets.  In fact, I have a Japanese Deep Purple Purple Chronicle 25th anniversary box set from his collection, complete with obi strip.

SAM_2110

Box Set Man also collected rock photographs, original photographs from private collections, unpublished anywhere.  He bought them at record shows, by networking (he was once a concert promoter) and from eBay.  He would trade photos in his collection for more desirable ones as well.

Just before Christmas 2005, Box Set Man came in with a gift for me.  He handed me a plain yellow envelope.  Inscribed on the envelope was this:

Merry Xmas Mike

This photo is from a private collection from Germany “Blackmore”.

BLACKMORE 1

Inside the envelope was an original Ritchie Blackmore photo.

Ritchie is obviously digging deep into a guitar solo in this photo.  Stratocaster raised, eyes closed, Ritchie is givin’ it all he’s got.  But the overall effect is one of Ritchie looking like he has to go to the bathroom.

Christmas 2005 was my final Christmas at the store, but Box Set Man didn’t know that.  I don’t remember why, but head office had asked me to keep my departure under wraps.  The announcement wasn’t made until my final day at the store (Jan 4, 2006) and as it turns out, that was the day I told Box Set Man as well.

So, without further delay, I present to you this original photograph that I have dubbed “The Constipated Ritchie Blackmore”!

NOTE:  After posting this, my former co-worker Pat reminded me that Box Set Man’s name was Dan!

REVIEW: Rainbow – Down To Earth (deluxe edition)

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RAINBOW – Down To Earth (1979, 2011 Universal deluxe edition)

I was a little surprised (in a good way) that Down To Earth by Rainbow was given the deluxe treatment.  I really only expected the Dio albums to be re-released in such grand fashion, but here we are with the sole Graham Bonnet offering.  (To date, the debut album Ritchie Blackmore’s Rainbow has yet to be issued in deluxe form.)

The brand new liner notes reveal that Cozy Powell was not happy with the commercialization of Rainbow’s sound, and that’s why he quit the band. Indeed, Down To Earth sounds like a very different band from that who recorded Long Live Rock ‘N’ Roll. (And in fact only Cozy and Ritchie Blackmore remain from that album.)

Having said that, Down To Earth is a damn near perfect confection of Blackmore’s sublime riffing and commercial rock. Yes, many of these songs could have been on the radio at the time, but the guitars are cranked, and Graham Bonnet has grit and power to spare. In short, this is a fantastic album, majestic and grand, with all the hallmarks that make Ritchie Blackmore one of the most important guitarists in history.

From the opener “All Night Long” to the manic closer “Lost In Hollywood” and everything in between, there is not a weak track on this album. Everybody knows the hit, “Since You Been Gone,” which still gets played on rock radio today. In a way I like to compare this album to Seventh Star by Black Sabbath — a shift, but the elements are still in place. Except Down To Earth is still heavier than Seventh Star, it just lacks Dio’s mysticism.

My personal favourites, aside from the above tracks, include the mid-tempo and sublime “Making Love”, and the manic “Danger Zone”.  None of the eight tracks are skip-worthy though.

The new lineup included future Deep Purple keyboardist Don Airey, and Ritchie’s old Purple bassist Roger Glover.  Glover had built quite a career producing bands like Nazareth, and he also produced Down To Earth.  He did a great job of it too, in particular with Cozy’s smashing drum sounds.

Two bonus tracks on disc one are “Weiss Heim”, the instrumental, and the B-side “Bad Girl”. Both songs were previously available on Finyl Vinyl and other compilations, but it is nice to have the sum total of the Graham Bonnet studio recordings here in one place.

The second disc contains a series of instrumental demos, which really highlight Cozy’s incredibly solid drumming and Ritchie’s picking. You can hear all the subtleties of Blackmore’s playing, every note and every stroke of the pick ringing clear. If you’re the type who can listen to a record and learn to play a song by ear, then you will love this disc. You’ve never heard Blackmore’s playing so bare. And Cozy? Well, his cymbal work is to die for, and of course his snare drumming is metronomic. It’s incredible that even if he wasn’t inspired by the songwriting, he was still playing this good. There are also a few tracks with embryonic lyrics such as “Spark Don’t Mean A Fire” (which became “No Time To Lose”). A “Cozy Powell Mix” of “All Night Long” is an annoying remix with the vocals mixed way way back, the guitar almost inaudible, and the drums upfront. Interesting from an analytical point of view, but not very enjoyable to listen to. The demos do a much nicer job of highlighting Cozy’s work.

Missing: “Since You Been Gone” live Monsters Of Rock Festival, Castle Donnington, England 1980. Also previously released on Finyl Vinyl, no idea why it’s not here. There was plenty of room.   Also missing is “All Night Long” from the same show, which was released on a compilation called All Night Long – An Introduction To Rainbow, and another just called Anthology.   It would have been nice to every Bonnet related recording in one place, but maybe they are planning on a Donnington live album at some point, who knows?

As with all deluxe editions, there are photos and great liner notes. This little-known period of Rainbow is illuminated by a lot of facts and stories of which I was previous unaware. A good read to go with some great music.

Now let’s get a deluxe going of Blackmore’s Rainbow, already!

4/5 stars

REVIEW: Cozy Powell – Over The Top (1979 Polydor)

Next in line of my reviews from Record Store Excursion 2012!  Check out the video below if you missed it.  This one bought at Sonic Boom Kensington.

MIKE AND AARON GO TO TORONTO

Let’s boogie!

The lineup is impressive enough:  Joining Cozy are Don Airey on keyboards/moog and Jack Bruce on bass.  Guitarists include Gary Moore, Bernie Marsden and Clem Clempson.   So, that’s all good.

But Over The Top starts with the disco-sounding “Theme I” (written by George Martin of all people).  There’s too much of Don’s dated sounding synth.  That continues into the next track, “Killer” featuring Gary Moore.  Don’s ray-gun keyboard are too much, although Gary is brilliant, and a highlight to the track.

Cozy expertly steps his way through every track,  sounding like nobody but Cozy.  But these cheesey keyboard anthems don’t lend themselves well to his style.  Too much disco, too much funk, too much boogie and not enough rock.  Jack Bruce is great, of course, very few can do what he does.  His bass here is articulate and precise but for me, too much jazz fusion and not enough anchor!

Most of this is progressive-based rock, but the dated synth echoes too many things that nobody really liked anymore.  The songs are not especially stiking, and Cozy doesn’t really go nuts until the final song, “Over The Top”.  The producer behind this mess?  None other than Martin Birch!

Best Song:  “El Sid” which has some groove and stomp to it, the keys are toned down while Jack plays some beautifully stretchy basslines, and Bernie Marsden throws in one of those bluesy solos that you know and love from early Whitesnake.  (Bernie wrote this one.)  Second best is “Sweet Poison” which has moments that smoke.

I dig the cover art with Cozy jumping his drums with his bike!  Sweet.

2/5 stars.  I think it likely that if Cozy were with us, hey’d probably regret the keyboard-saturated sound today.

TRACK LIST:

Side One – “Theme I”, “Killer”, “Heidi Goes To Town”, “El Sid”

Side Two – “Sweet Poison”, “The Loner”, “Over The Top”

REVIEW: Glenn Tipton – Baptizm Of Fire (1997, 2006 reissue)

GLENN TIPTON – Baptizm Of Fire (1997, 2006 reissue)

One cool thing about working in a record store:  I actually bought this album 3 times.  Essentially, I bought it once and the other two times were upgrades!  When it first came out in 1997, I ordered in three copies — one for myself, and one each for my regular customers Len and Shane.  Then another regular, Conrad, traded in the Japanese version.  I upgraded mine, trading it in and paying the slight difference.  Then in 2006 when the remastered edition came out (with the addition of the bonus track “New Breed”), I traded up once more, this time getting some money back for my Japanese printing.  All for an album I don’t even like that much! 

In fact, if this album came out today, without my staff discounts, most likely I would have skipped it. Back then though, things were very different.  Priest was seemingly on ice since 1991.  There wasn’t a new Priest album to look forward to. Halford’s most recent solo material (Fight’s A Small Deadly Space) had failed to excite me the way his debut album had.  Now it was now up to Glenn to carry the Priest flag for me, and I eagerly ordered three copies of his debut solo CD from our distributor, for me and my customers.

The problem with Baptizm of Fire is, sadly, Glenn’s voice. Glenn’s always sung backup vocals with Priest, but as a lead…sorry. I don’t think so. Sounding like an out-of-breath Dave Mustaine, Glenn definitely gives it his all, which just isn’t enough.  Not for metal this powerful.  You need a soaring vocal to give you a melody to sing along to, not to whisper.

The songs are good enough though. I really liked “Fuel Me Up”, “Hard Core”, and “Extinct”. Back then, mainstream magazines like Rolling Stone treated rockers like Tipton as dinosaurs, better off extinct!  Well today, things have changed and they are considered living legends. Such was the 90’s! Tiptop furiously refutes the claim that he was a dinosaur in “Extinct”, one of the best songs on Baptizm Of Fire.

The original Japanese bonus track, “Himalaya” is included on the remaster, a tribute to the Japanese people according to the liner notes on that version of the CD. Well, Glenn, I am really sorry to be the one to break this to you. Japan is nowhere near the Himalayas. I’m not sure I get it.  The other bonus track is included, “New Breed” is of unknown origin but I assume from the album sessions.

In fact so much was recorded that there’s a companion album available:  Edge of the World, consisting of tracks recorded with the late John Entwistle and Cozy Powell.  More outtakes, they were released under the name Tipton, Enwistle & Powell. 

Glenn generated some pre-release hype by loading up this album with guests. Besides the aformentioned Entwistle and Powell, there’s also the devastating Billy Sheehan, Rob Trujillo, Neil Murray on bass! Cozy Powell on drums! Don Airey on keys! And Ugly Kid Joe drummer, the excellent Shannon Larkin!  There’s absolutely nothing wrong with the performances.

Production-wise, this is a little over-processed sounding, a bit like the soon to come Jugulator album by Judas Priest.  Tipton had a hand in producing both. 

I’m sorry Glenn. I really wanted to love your solo album, but today it sits on a shelf, seldomly played. Sorry man.

2/5 stars

  1. “Hard Core” – 4:39
  2. “Paint It Black” – 2:56 (yup…Stones cover…and not that good) 
  3. “Enter the Storm” – 5:56
  4. “Fuel Me Up” – 3:02
  5. “Extinct” – 5:33
  6. “Baptizm of Fire” (Instrumental) – 5:16 (one of the best tracks if not the best!)
  7. “The Healer” – 4:56
  8. “Cruise Control” – 4:08
  9. “Kill or Be Killed” – 3:21
  10. “Voodoo Brother” – 5:36
  11. “Left for Dead” – 3:45
  12. “Himalaya” (Bonus track on Japanese and remastered editions)
  13. “New Breed” (Bonus track on remastered edition)

Part 37: When Wives Spill Their Pepsi all Over Ronnie James Dio

Back in 2006, a few weeks after I left the store, I became a “normal customer”.  (As if there is such a thing!)  I started getting calls from my former compatriots any time they saw something cool come in for me.  Which was frequent back then.  Today I have a hard time finding discs locally that I still need, as my collection is pretty beefy.

I drove on a snowy Saturday to one of my former haunts to see my friends and former co-workers.  I managed to snag a mint condition used copy of Dio’s Holy Diver – Live.  It was his newest album.   (Also, sadly, his last album released while he was still alive.)    The package was 2 CD’s including one disc of Holy Diver, performed live in sequence.  I tried to explain to Jen how cool this release was:

It’s the first time he’s played the whole album live.  It was his first album, and considered his best solo album by a lot of fans.  It’s a landmark album — you’ll know some of these songs.

Jen had already heard some Dio.  I played Intermission (on vinyl) for her regularly, and she knew tunes like “Rainbow in the Dark” quite well.  Plus, Jen enjoys back rubs.  If she wanted a back rub, for example, I’d put some tunes on, usually Dio.  Soon it became known as “Dio Massages”.  It wasn’t too long before Jen knew most of Dio’s best tunes from Rainbow and beyond:  “Man On The Silver Mountain”, “Holy Diver”, and so on.  Dio Massages became a regular weekend ritual.

So, when I picked up Holy Diver – Live, I was stoked!  I got it cheap, used, which was not always easy with new metal releases.  Metal fans tend to hang on to their new releases, since they’re not always easy to come across in mainstream retail outlets.   Jen and I listened to disc one, and went to bed.

I had rather stupidly left the CD case (with second disc still inside) on the end table.  Right next to Jen’s can of diet Pepsi.  An idiot could have predicted what would happen next.  My only defense is “I am not an idiot!” but it didn’t save my Dio CD.  Jen reached for her diet Pepsi, missed, and spilled.  Dio was drenched – the booklet, the back cover, and the second disc.  I owned the CD for less than a day, and it was already wrecked.  In the morning, the second disc (previously mint) had little beads of dried Pepsi on it.  The booklet and back cover were a lost cause.  Couldn’t even open the booklet, like a teenager’s first Playboy mag!

I called up my buddy at the store where I had bought the CD.  We’ll call him “Steven Tyler” as an alias.  (He happens to share the name of a famous rock star in real life.)

“Steven!  You got any more of those Dio live albums floating around in the system?”

“Nope, sorry man.  You got the only one,” said Steven.

I ordered a replacement copy from Amazon later that morning.  New.  Over $30 all said and done.

MORAL:  DO NOT LEAVE YOUR DIO DISCS NEXT TO A CAN OF DIET PEPSI OVERNIGHT!

I still love my wife more than anything.  She still loves “Rainbow in the Dark”.

Part 6: The Record Store, Year 1
Myself on the left, Trev on the right.

We were pretty slow most evenings.  You could study for exams at work most nights. Fridays got busy, but Monday, Tuesday, and Wednesday nights were dead.  That didn’t mean we doing nothing.  Rule #1:  “If there’s time to lean, there’s time to clean.”  We had scheduled to do something every night.  Mondays was cleaning the mirrors which lined the store walls.   Tuesday was putting away new stock, which always came Tuesdays.  Wednesday was checking the security tags on every cassette in the store.  Every fucking cassette.

For the first 2 months or so, it was just me and the owner.  Once September hit, he hired this other guy, Trevor.  I didn’t like him at first, he was the “other guy”.  He was the same age as me, also finishing school at the same time as me.  We shared similar musical interests.  Influences we shared:  Guns N’ Roses, Van Halen, The Four Horsemen, Kim Mitchell, Rush, and any bands with amazing drummers.  Over the course of the years, he introduced me to:  Steve Earle, Oasis, Metallica, Megadeth, Max Webster, anb Buddy Rich.  I give him a lot of credit for expanding my horizons during those days.

A lot of memorable releases came out that first year.  Superunknown and Purple were already out, but I was on board for some major ones.  Nirvana Unplugged was the biggest release of the fall 1994 schedule.  There was an Aerosmith hits disc, a Bon Jovi hits disc, and the Eagles reunion album which was absolutely massive.

The new Tragically Hip, Day For Night, came out on a Saturday.  We sold out by Sunday.  The boss drove down to Scarborough to get more on Monday.  Pearl Jam’s Vitalogy came out on vinyl the week before the CD was released.  We got just five in.  He didn’t expect it to sell, but we sold out before my shift even started.  Interestingly, none of the customers planned on playing it.  They either a) didn’t even have something to play it on, or b) were keeping it sealed as a collector’s item.  It definitely was a cool package.

Some poeople have a “swear jar”.  We had an alarm jar.  If you forgot to de-tag a customer’s purchase and thusly set off the alarm, you had to put a dollar in the jar.  We would use the spoils on our annual Christmas dinner.  It created some friendly competition between us.  That first Christmas is when I started working directly with Trevor, and I started to like him due to his excellent musical taste.  But in the alarm jar game, we were always about equal.  Sometimes you just forgot!

One lady may well have stolen something and set off the alarm, and I’ll never know, because, well….  As she was walking out the alarm went off.  I asked her to come back in the store and check to see if she had something from another store that may had set it off.  She was so upset at the alarm, she really wanted to show me she had nothing on her person.  So, she removed her top.  “See I’m not hiding anything in here!”  Covering my eyes, I told her it was quite alright, I believed her, and she could go.  First time I’d been flashed on the job.  Not the last.

She wasn’t even drunk.  They actually used to serve alcohol at this mall.  There was a licensed restaurant right next door to the store.  The regulars would start in the morning and keep going.  You’d see them in there every day, and they’d wander in completely plastered.

We had a few regular psychos at that mall.  There was Johnny Walker, who would just walk around the mall talking to himself, all day.  Literally, all day.  The story goes that he was quite rich.  He didn’t need to work, wasn’t capable of work, and just came to the mall and walked around all day, talking to himself.  Sometimes he would argue with himself and he had been ejected from the mall a couple times.  He came into the store a couple times but never caused any problems on my shifts.  One time, he even bought a cassette.  It was like the madness turned off.  He spoke to me, bought the tape, and walked out.  Madness set back in, and he’s off arguing with himself.  I wonder what happened to Johnny Walker?  He’d been walking the malls since grade school, sometimes changing malls when he got permanently ejected from one.

Then, there was Sue.  Sue had been in an accident years before, and had a walker.  She moved very  very slow.  She had a bit of a crush on the owner.  She stalked him relentlessly and gave him Christmas gifts.  She’d park her walker right there in front of the counter and talk his ear off for hours.  Hours!

One day, a large Japanese woman was shopping.  The owner said, “Go ask that lady if she needs help.  Then he stood back and waited.  I didn’t know it, but he had just given me my first challenge.

“Hi, can I help you find anything today?”

“No thank you though,” she answered, then almost immediately, “Do you have Soundgarden?”

I showed her what Soundgarden we had both new and used.  We also had the latest copy of M.E.A.T Magazine, and Chris Cornell was on the cover.  I’ll never forget that detail.

“Do you like Chris Cornell?” she asks.

“Yes, he’s actually one of my favourite singers.”

“Oh!  Really!  I love Chris Cornell.  He’s sexy.”

It was too late now.  I had opened Pandora’s box.  She opened the magazine to his picture inside.  She went on:  “I like when he wears his sexy black boots.  Chris Cornell wears black Doc Marten boots.  Do you know the boots?  Chris Cornell wears black Doctor Martens boots.  Do you like Doc Marten boots?”

I was on my own.  The boss just stood back.  I couldn’t even figure out a way to improvise my way out.  I was a rookie  I decided that this woman was most likely a lil’ crazy and I played the polite card.

“Yes, I do…”

“Chris Cornell is sexy.  Did you know that Soundgarden had an original bass player who was Asian?”

I did know that.  “Yes, his name was Hiro Yamamoto…”

“Yes Hiro Yamamoto.  He is Asian.  There are not many Asians in rock bands did you know that?”

This went on for a good 20 minutes.  After she left (not without asking my name, fuck!) my boss came to speak to me.

“That’s your first lesson.  Don’t get into conversations with customers.”

And of course we had the drunks.  I remember one jolly drunk came in that first Christmas Eve.  We all wore ties Christmas Eve, that was the tradition.  It was a tradition I kept every year to my last year at the store, even when I was the only one left who still did it.  This drunk came in, a big Grizzly Adams dude just reeking of alcohol.  He was definitely in great spirits though.  First he asked us why the ties?  The quick-witting Trevor answered, “I’m wearing mine because it makes me feel important.”  We laughed.  I then went over to see if he needed help finding anything.

“Hi there!” I began.

“Not yet, but I will be when I get home.  Hahahaha!” he answered.

Ultimately the jolly drunk guy couldn’t remember what to buy, so he bought $100 in gift certificates for his grand kids.  That was a great sale, and the best part was that it turned out to be $100 of pure profit for the store.  The bearded drunk guy probably lost it, because all my years with the store, they were never redeemed!

After Christmas, the owner confided in Trevor and I that he was going to be opening a second location.  This location would be in Waterloo.  It would be easily accessible by one high school, two universities, and one college.  He would be splitting his time between our store and setting up the new one.  Ultimately this meant he’d be in much less and we’d be getting more hours, and also bhe was bringing a new guy in.

I walked in one Tuesday to see this black-bearded behemoth behind the counter.  It was kind of awkward because the owner didn’t introduce us at first.  I looked around for an hour, stealing glances at this big grizzly bear of a man with the thickest blackest beard you can picture.  Finally he introduced me to Thomas, later to become Tom, the legendary founder of Sausagefest.  Ahh, but that comes much later.

TOM

Tom was a wicked cool guy who expanded my musical tastes even further than Trevor had.  Tom and I had many influences in common.  I had met another kindred spirit.  Influences:  Black Sabbath, Dio, Rainbow, Iron Maiden, Judas Priest, Van Halan (not Van Hagar!) and Johnny Cash.  Music he would introduce me to:  Miles Davis, Willie Nelson, Fu Manchu, and the whole stoner rock scene in general.  His place was plastered with rare Marillion posters.  Tom was serious about music.

Tom was so serious about music that it was actually hilarious.  Kids, this is the difference between liking music and loving music.  Nobody loves music as much as Tom.  Dare I say it, Tom loves music even more than me.

One night in Toronto, we visited the big HMV on Yonge St.  Tom was methodically working his way through every decent section of the store.  Long after Trevor and I had finished shopping, Tom was just finishing browsing rock.  With a handful of discs by Rainbow and Saga, Tom would then announce, “OK…I just have to check country.”

20 minutes would pass.  “Alright…on to jazz.”

20 more minutes.

“I just have to check blues.”

10 more minutes.

“Oohh…I wonder if they have the soundtrack to the Godfather.”

Checkout.  Trev, Tom and I usually checked out of that store $200 lighter.  Each.

Then, repeat.  We walked down the street to Sam’s, and finally to Virgin.  Rock, country, jazz, blues.  Every store.  That was Tom, three stores, one night.

Seriously those early days at the store were the best times I ever had working.  Working hard or hardly working?  No, we worked hard.  If there’s time to lean, there’s time to clean.  We ran that store with the owner making guest appearances, adding to it with our own creative ideas.

I graduated school in the summer of 1995, and hadn’t decided on my next move.  After that I was putting in increasingly more hours at the store.  It gradually built up from a part time job to full time.  When the new store opened, Tom split hours between the two of them so there were plenty of day and night shifts available, usually alone, which were the best times because you could play whatever you wanted!

I remember Tom walked in one night when I was playing Dio.  Back in 1995 you could not play Dio in a mainstream record store.  That would be like the equivalent of playing Michael Bolton in one today.  He was so far removed from what was selling at the time.  But I was rocking out to Holy Diver and Tom appreciated that I had the balls to do it.

Tom went to a lot of concerts.  After we had bonded over the mutual love of metal, I joined him and many of my future Sausagefest friends at a Black Sabbath concert.  It was Motorhead opening on the Sacrifice tour, and Black Sabbath headining, supporting their final studio album (17 years and counting!) Forbidden.  They played at Lulu’s Roadhouse just down the street.  A few weeks later we saw Queensryche in Toronto on the Promised Land tour.

Trev, Tom and I would have many adventures.  Such as that time seeing Kiss in…ahh, but that’s another story.  Before I talk about Tom and Trev again, I need to tell you a really shitty story.

TBC…