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REVIEW: Trailer Park Boys Xmas Special w/ Conky Puppet, Dope and Liquor Editions! With Video! (DVD)

TRAILER PARK BOYS Xmas Special  (Conky Puppet, Dope and Liquor Editions)

Upon first release in 2004, I bought the Trailer Park Boys Xmas Special.  It was a compulsory purchase.  This excellent show, one of the funniest on TV, had yet to issue the special as a part of a box set.  Plus it came with a Conky puppet!  Fans of the show know Conky to be the evil but hilarious puppet who has a tendency to take over Bubbles’ brain.  Surely, “Conky” is one of the two best episodes of the show.  The other would be “Closer to the Heart” featuring Alex Lifeson.

See the video to check out LeBrain’s Conky puppet!

I remember Tom used to put the Conky puppet on top of his Christmas tree!

Then, in 2006, I found the reissued “Dope and Liquor Edition” at a store for $5, and re-bought it, even though I already own the version that came with the Conky puppet. Why?

1. Because I’m crazy like that and I love TPB.
2. Because it was cheap enough to warrant the second purchase.
3. Because the previously unreleased (on DVD) “Trailer Park Boys 101” special as hosted by Alex Lifeson was worth it to me.

This double-length episode (actually titled, “Dear Santa Claus, Go Fuck Yourself”) on its own is one of the best the series ever produced. Taking place in 1997, well before the fictional adventures of Ricky, Julian, and Bubbles were documented, this episode reveals a lot of Trailer Park Boys backstory and delivers a lot of laughs.

Ricky is bailed out of jail on Christmas Eve to help Julian with his present stealing racket. Ricky’s unhappy because Christmas is the best time to be in jail (“12 days of partying,” Ricky says). It doesn’t take long for Mr. Lahey to get wise to the theft scheme, and with his new friend Randall in tow, he promptly gets back on the liquor. In the meantime, sidekicks Jamie and Tyrone discover rap music and marijuana, while Ricky and Julian use “nerds” Corey and Trevor to help steal Christmas trees.

Some of the funniest dialogue in the show’s history was right here in the Christmas special. Ricky mistaking God for Santa Claus is priceless (if you’re not offended).

Ricky: Dad, I write letters every year, you know that. I mean, I’m sending a letter off to the big guy tomorrow. So, it’s taken care of. Done. No problem.

Ray: Huh?

Ricky: The letters… You and Mom got me to write them every year at Christmas. I’m sending one off tomorrow again.

Ray: To Santa Claus, Rick?!

Ricky: Yeah, the big guy.

Bubbles: The big guy?! The big guy? That’s God, Ricky.

Ricky: Yeah, God. That’s what I said. Santa.

Ray: Ricky, come on, you know Santa and God aren’t the same guy, right?

Ricky: Dad, you didn’t know that? I mean, think about it! How would he get around the world in one night? Of course he’s the same person. Right, Bubs?

Bubbles: No, Ricky. Santa and God, that’s two different things.

Ricky: What? Oh my fuck! You know, I did maybe think that I fucked that up. I wasn’t sure, and I didn’t want to say anything just in case Santa was God. Like, it would obviously, probably, wouldn’t it piss him off that I got that mixed up like that?

By the time you get to his big speech at the end, (“Christmas is about getting drunk and stoned with your family!”) you’ll be howling.

Like I said, this is hilarious if you’re not easily offended. If you are, I would advise you to stay far away from everything Trailer Park Boys. If you enjoy well delivered, largely improvised dialogue performed by the east coast’s favourites, then dig in for some Christmas dinner.

The special features here are the typical TPB fare. Alternate takes, extended takes, bloopers, and so on abound, making this worth your coin. As I mentioned before, to make up for the lack of the Conky puppet, the Dope and Liquor Edition has the Alex Lifeson documentary. As a Rush and TPB fan, this was worth the re-buy for me. You also get a preview for the first TPB movie, although this is well out of date now.

Merry Christmas, make sure mom is nowhere around when you watch this!

5/5 stars (for both)

Conky

REVIEW: Neil Peart – “The Hockey Theme” (2010 single)

NEIL PEART – “The Hockey Theme” (2010 single, iTunes)

For my international friends and readers, you’re just going to have to take my word for it that this little tune is one of the most iconic pieces of music in our nation’s great history.  Mike Myers called it “Canada’s second anthem”.  If you’re home on a Saturday night, it’s a given that any true hoser is watching Hockey Night In Canada.  That theme song was the anthem that said, “Alright fans, go get your beer and your jerseys, the action starts now.”

I won’t get into the details of why this song isn’t the theme to Hockey Night In Canada anymore, but the song was picked up by another network, and it still kicks off hockey games every week — just not on Hockey Night in Canada.

In 2010, Neil Peart did a drum and horns version of the theme song, and put it up for sale on iTunes.  People bitched that they had to pay $1.29 for a song that was barely over a minute long.  All I can say to those people is, don’t buy it.  It you’re really huffing and puffing about paying $1.29 for a simply incredible piece of music by the world’s greatest drummer, then it is possible that you may in fact have no soul.

If you’re familiar with Neil’s work on the Burning For Buddy albums, then you already know that he tends to really kick traditional arrangements in the nuts.  And that’s what he does here.  He turns “The Hockey Theme” into a stomping, fill-laden anthem that is perfect for kicking off just about any mix CD that you have in mind.

Now, if we could only get an actual hockey season happening this year, we’d be talkin’!

5/5 stars

MOVEMBER: Top Five Canadian moustaches of Rock!

Idea stolen from Every Record, with a Canadian twist:

For MOVEMBER, the top five Canadian moustaches of rock!  (I didn’t use John Albini from Lee Aaron’s band since Every Record did.)

5. Neil Peart (Rush)

4. Gordon Lightfoot

3. Dave Myles & Pye Dubois (Max Webster)

2. Burton Cummings

1. Pretty much all of Helix

(moustaches l-r: Mike Uzelac, Brian Vollmer, Paul Hackman)

REVIEW: Hear N’ Aid – Stars (1986)

HEAR N’ AID – Stars (1986 LP, Japanese CD)

It is hard to believe that this monumental album, a piece of rock history, was only issued on CD in Japan! Finding a domestic LP or cassette isn’t hard (I’ve owned it on all three formats including CD) so hunt your record shops.  I know Wendy Dio has a CD/DVD reissue lined up, hopefully including the full album, single edit, and the video and interviews.  If you’re reading this Wendy…

At the time, all funds went to starving people in Africa, hence the name Hear N’ Aid.  The inspiration was something fairly obvious:  No heavy metal people outside of Geddy Lee was involved in the numerous famine relief projects of the time!  (Geddy sang a lead on the excellent “Tears Are Not Enough” (1985) by Northern Lights, but nobody metal could be seen in “Do They Know It’s Christmas” or “We Are the World”.)

“Oh, you knoooow that we’ll be there!”

Showing the world that heavy metal bands and fans aren’t a bunch of assholes, Jimmy Bain and Vivian Campbell of Dio came up with the concept for Hear N’ Aid.

The main track, “Stars”, by Hear N’ Aid is a tour-de-force. Written by Bain, Campbell and Dio, this is essentially an epic extended track with a soft intro and heavy verses, and tons of guests. They assembled virtually every major metal singer who was willing and available to take part. That means you will hear Quiet Riot singers Kevin DuBrow and Paul Shortino (still with Ruff Cutt at the time) singing together for the first and only time in history! Rob Halford, Don Dokken, Eric Bloom, Geoff Tate, Dave Meniketti, and Dio himself all take lead vocal slots too.

When the guitar solo kicks in, prepared to be blown away. With Iron Maiden guitarists Dave Murray and Adrian Smith playing backing harmonies, you will hear the monstrous talents of George Lynch, Yngwie Malmsteen, Vivian Campbell, Craig Goldy, Neal Schon, Buck Dharma, Carloz Cavazo, Brad Gillis and Eddie Ojeda all taking a few bars. No charity track had ever attempted to assemble not just singers, but guitar players, on one track before.

All this is backed by drummers, bassists and keyboard players from Dio and Quiet Riot. There are more backing singers than I can name, but most notably, Derek Smalls and David St. Hubbins from Spinal Tap. Of course.

The rest of the album is filled out by songs donated by bands who couldn’t take part in the song, but still wanted to help the starvation situation in Africa. Therefore you will get a live “Heaven’s On Fire” from Kiss, from their Animalize Live Uncensored home video. This is the only place that the audio track was released on. There is an unreleased live “Distant Early Warning” by Rush, and rare ones by Scorpions and Accept as well.

Tracklist:
1.Hear ‘n Aid – “Stars”
2.Accept – “Up to the Limit” (live)
3.Motörhead – “On the Road” (live)
4.Rush – “Distant Early Warning” (live)
5.Kiss – “Heaven’s on Fire” (live)
6.Jimi Hendrix – “Can You See Me”
7.Dio – “Hungry for Heaven” (live)
8.Y&T – “Go for the Throat”
9.Scorpions – “The Zoo” (live)

5/5 stars

REVIEW: Rush – “The Pass” (1990 single)

RUSH – “The Pass” (1990 single)

The discussion came up during Thanksgiving.  I had the laptop up at the cottage, and the whole family listening to the 80’s Weekend on our favorite rock station, 107.5 Dave FM.  As part of it, they played “Time Stand Still” by Rush.

I asked my sister Kathryn, “Is this your favourite Rush of the 80’s?”

“No,” came the answer.  “I prefer ‘The Pass'”.

So that got me thinkin’.  Yeah, “The Pass” was an awesome song!  Sure it’s not “YYZ” or “Subdivisions” or one of those better known 80’s anthems, but it stands up.  I enjoyed the production, with the emphasis on Geddy’s bass as the main hook.  I always preferred this song to the first single from Presto, “Show Don’t Tell”.  I was disappointed that “The Pass” was not one of the Rush singles chosen to be on their compilation, Chronicles.  “The Pass” is well crafted song, lyrically relevant, emotional yet tough.

  1. “The Pass” (Radio Edit)”  4:04
  2. “The Pass” 4:51

4/5 stars

REVIEW: Rush – Icon (2010)

Icon.jpg

RUSH – Icon (2010 Universal)

No “Tom Sawyer”? No “Subdivisions”? No “2112”? This baffling compilation had zero involvement from the band, and should probably be avoided. There are plenty other Rush comps — official Rush comps, longer and with better variety of tracks — to satiatate your need for the holy trinity.

I do give whatever exec put the track list together credit for including ancient classics like “The Necromancer” and “Circumstances”…but this set of obscure album tracks mixed with singles makes little sense.  It will only disappoint those looking for a good one CD Rush collection with all the songs they know.  And real Rush fans don’t need to buy discs like this.

0.5/5 stars.

  1. Working Man
  2. Fly by Night
  3. The Necromancer
  4. The Twilight Zone
  5. Closer to the Heart
  6. Circumstances
  7. Freewill
  8. Limelight
  9. The Analog Kid
  10. Red Sector A
  11. Marathon
  12. Force Ten

Part 108: Building the Store, Part 2

RECORD STORE TALES PART 108: Building the Store, Part 2

Last time, Statham posted something about a dream he had, of us putting together our own record store. I wish I could have had the experience of opening a store without doing work!  The reality of it varied.  On the couple of times I helped set up a store, it was hardly glamorous.

The first time was when we opened up the first store that I managed.  It was the biggest one so far, lots of stock, all crap. Junk. Shite.  Basically what we did was, maybe starting six months in advance,  just buy lots and lots and lots of stock.  Before long we had, I dunno, maybe 5000 discs, all garbage.  Dozens of Jann Arden, Spin Doctors, Michael Bolton…I had so much Michael Bolton that he took up three fucking rows!  I even had rare Michael Bolton.  Nobody had rare Michael Bolton!  Nobody wanted rare Michael Bolton!  Then you’d go to the Metallica section, nothing.  Kiss, a couple copies of Kiss My Ass.  And we had soooo much country.  We had buckets of country.  And rap artists that you nor I have ever heard of. 

Waltz back over to the rock section and browse the classics.  Did we have any Floyd?  Nothing.  Led Zeppelin?  Just the tribute album, Encomium.  Meat Loaf?  Bat 2, but not Bat.  We had a couple of Rush discs, like Counterparts, but nothing from the 70’s.  No Maiden.  No Miles.  No Dylan.  No Hendrix.

We had no standardized pricing scheme back then.  So, if I was pricing Eric Clapton’s Unplugged at $9.99, the guy next to me might have priced it at $11.99 because maybe he liked it more.  It was very subjective.  Sometimes you knew what a CD was worth brand new and based it on that, sometimes it was so common that it didn’t matter, and sometimes nobody had a fucking clue.  We’d try to fix the pricing it as we went, but it was slow.  After we opened, a customer would come up with three copies of the same album.  “This one is $8.99, this one $9.99, and this one $11.99.  Is that because one is more scratched?”  Logical question!  But no, we just cocked up.

It took weeks to manually input and price all those discs.  Shelving them took a couple more days. Making the header cards, setting things up, all told we were at it for maybe a month.  Then the big day came and we did our opening.  We were only half-equipped:  there was no second computer yet, and only half of our CD players for listening station had been bought.  Signs were still arriving to be put up.

I’ll never forget our sign that showed up that said, “WE PAY CSAH FOR YOUR USED CDS!” 

Regardless of how crappy the stock was, it sold!  I couldn’t believe it!  There were only a few decent albums and I figured once they were gone, that was it.  That wasn’t the case at all.  People kept buying the old rap and country discs.  Tanya Tucker?  Check!  We had lots!  And people were buying it!

Then, used stuff started coming in at a rapid pace.  Crazy stuff too.  I remember this one huge Tangerine Dream box set coming in, on the Thursday of the first week.

After we opened and good stuff started coming in by the box full, all the hard work seemed like it was paying off.  But the setting up was long and tedious, and I couldn’t stand Todd, who was also on setup duty.  But who gives a crap?  I spent weeks doing nothing but data entry while listening to music (our own music, which we brought in – of course).  I rocked a lot of Deep Purple those weeks.  It was awesome.

I remember that I had just found two Purple albums that I wanted:  Concerto For Group and Orchestra, and King Biscuit Flower Hour.  I also rocked Purpendicular, which had just come out, as much as I could.   Todd didn’t understand the music at all.  All he was interested in listening to was Floyd, nothing else.  He played Bush once or twice, but otherwise it was all Floyd.  He really, really liked P.U.L.S.E.  And he just murdered Floyd for me, for a long time.

When I listen to albums like Concerto and Purpendicular, it brings me right back to doing data entry in that store.  Not a bad soundtrack to work to.

REVIEW: Max Webster – Max Webster (1976)

This one goes out to T-Rev!

MAX WEBSTER – Max Webster (1976 Anthem Records)

It is difficult to recall a better debut album than this 1976 masterpiece by the four-headed enigma known as Max Webster. Kim Mitchell (vocals/guitars), Mike Tilka (bass), Terry Watkinson (keys) and short-tenured drummer Paul Kersey, along with lyricist Pye Dubois, seemingly emerged fully-formed with this immortal classic.  Right from the feedback kicking off “Hangover”, this album feels like it was custom designed for awesome sauce.

When I first heard it, I recall finding the album artwork mildly disturbing and the music jittery and off-putting. That was first listen.  Then, Trevor bought it (and numerous others) for me for my birthday one year.  THANKS T-REV! 

It only took two more listens to appreciate this album for what it is: A paradoxically funny yet progressive masterpiece that runs the gamut from bizarre to blues to rock to country to campfire,with poetic lyrics to match. From the seemingly out-of-control “Hangover” to the mournful “Lily”, this album really does have it all.

Of note:  This album was produced with Terry Brown, who helmed many Rush classics.

Like Frank Zappa’s bastard children, Max Webster emerged from Sarnia Ontario, perplexing and rocking audiences from coast to coast. Despite the diversity in sounds and challenging arrangements, this band was not short on melody and managed to create catchy songs out of the most absurd material, such as “Toronto Tontos”.  Yet this is balanced by songs like the groovy “Here Among the Cats”.  Regardless, it’s impossible to get either song out of your head.  Mitchell’s soloing on “Here Among the Cats” is stunning, by the way. 

You can’t understate how important, groundbreaking, and fantastic this album is. Just listen to the upbeat “Blowing The Blues Away”, or “Only Your Nose Knows” for a taste of the best music that Canada has ever put up for offer.  “Summer’s Up”…”Coming Off the Moon”…not a bad song in the bunch.  I understand that there are deluxe Max editions available now. I think I might pick one up and see how they are.

I think I’ll start with Max Webster!  (Note:  Don’t tell Mrs. LeBrain, but I did order it from Amazon a few moments ago.)

5/5 stars

Part 75: 2012 Sausagefest Report part two

Haven’t read part one yet?  Click here.

Since pictures speak a thousand words, I’m going to let the pictures do most of the talking this time.

The countdown resumed Saturday afternoon.  “Love Gun” from Alive II was my pick.  We were inundated with Mammoth, more Tool, more Maiden, and awesomely enough, “Watermelon Man” by Herbie Hancock, light years ahead of its time.  We also heard from old stanby’s such as Rush (“Between the Wheels”), and others like Crosby, Stills & Nash, Dire Straits, and Starship (?)(thanks Zach).

The #1 song on the countdown was Kyuss’ “Gardenia”.  Oh what a beauty.  Must get.

Meat’s going to post the whole countdown when he’s back online (see: last installment) which should be soon.   Thank God for warranties.

Speaking of warranties, my car deck had to be replaced.  Sausagefest’s rainstorm killed it, I guess.  It took with it the new Tenacious D disc.  But the unit was covered on warranty so all is well.

It’s always sad when Sausagefest is over, and we always look forward to the next one.  It reminds me of what it was like to be a kid.  At the end of summer holidays, sometimes you waved goodbye to friends and said, “See you next summer,” and you just can’t wait for next summer to come.  That’s what Sausagefest is like.  I’d do it again next week in a heartbeat!


Part 74.5: The Best Part of Sausagefest (Clockwork Autographs)

Meat gave this to me.

“You’re the collector, not me,” he said.

That’s really not a good excuse to give away an autographed Rush disc, man.  But, as Burgess Meredith said so wisely in Clash of the Titans, “A divine gift should never be questioned, simply accepted.”  And are Rush not gods of rock?

Thank you Meat Man.