GETTING MORE TALE #833: Introduction to the 1986 Saga
Upon reflection, I don’t think any year was more pivotal in my life, personally and musically, than 1986. When I finally posted the “lost chapter” about 1986 a couple years ago (over 5000 words!), I thought I had said everything I had to say about that year. I was wrong.
A few weeks ago I started writing more chapters from that period, reliving the music, sometimes trauma. There was a lot still to unpack. The Catholic school years were not pleasant. After writing a particularly raw chapter (to be called “Flag Boy”), I received some really good advice. “Have you ever tried writing a letter to your younger self?”
The idea is to show kindness to your inner child. While I was familiar with the concept, doing it myself had never occurred me to. That’s not the kind of writing that I do. But what if I could frame it in such a way so that it is the kind of writing that I do?
In a caffeine-fuelled two-hour spurt I wrote a story, including the letter, which flowed out of me like a stream. I played the very same albums while writing that I played back then. Emotions were happening so I had to stop a couple times. By the end of it I was completely spent. It was not only a therapeutic experience, but I also pushed my abilities past their normal boundaries. The end result is a story I am so proud of that I’ve chosen to publish it, even though that wasn’t the original intent. I chose “me, 1986” as the younger self to write to and so it only makes sense to include this work as part of the series.
The 1986 Saga currently stands at five chapters, with the letter as the centerpiece. Music exists as an important component to every part of this journey. Rock music. Hard rock music.
I hope it’s not too much of a downer. Some chapters are funny, and I made sure the Saga has an upbeat and optimistic ending. And so it should. I’m still breathing, right? I’m still rocking and rolling, keeping on keeping on, and doing my part to spread the rock to every corner of the globe.
Including the previously published lost chapter “1986”, this series will make it a total over 11,000 words on the subject. If this were a proper book like an autobiography I would have weaved them together into a single chapter, but the nature of online publishing means you get the instant gratification of posting piece by piece any time you want. The end result feels more like a “work in progress”, but I get to put everything out now and feel that satisfaction from it.
Because everything has to connect back to music, we’ll be revisiting early love of W.A.S.P., Iron Maiden, Judas Priest, Spinal Tap, and of course, Kiss. Music helped me survive that year, and hopefully by the end of the 1986 Saga you will understand how.
I can admit it. I was only 13 years old, and I thought Spinal Tap were a real band.
How was I to know? A lot of media surrounding Spinal Tap took them seriously. When MuchMusic’s J.D. Roberts interviewed Ronnie James Dio about the Hear N’ Aid project in 1986, he played it straight. David St. Hubbins and Derek Smalls of Spinal Tap appear on the track “Stars”, which Ronnie produced.
Roberts: “I think that one of the great coups of Hear N’ Aid, and I think you’ll have to agree with me, was having David St. Hubbins and Derek Smalls of Spinal Tap enter the project.”
Dio: “Yeah that was a real special moment. I must tell you that there was a little consternation on the part of some of the people who did not turn up, who were asked to take part in ‘Stars’, that the inclusion of those two people, or anyone from Spinal Tap, made this project a laughing stock. I’d like to be able to reply to anyone who thinks that’s a valid point. Again, we are human beings. And part of human nature is to laugh. Probably the nicest part of human nature is to laugh. And these are two wonderful people who made us laugh, not only in this project, but in Spinal Tap.”
Even though Dio actually broke the wall for a moment and entered the “real” world with his answer, Roberts shot right back into the fictional world with his followup question. Dio played along this time.
Roberts: “It’s a good thing, as Derek says, that you didn’t let them do the lead vocal, because they would have blown everybody away.”
Dio: “Well they did a lot of singing when the tape wasn’t rolling, and they were better than all of us. And they happen to both be the best guitar players I’ve ever heard too.”
Never mind that Derek plays bass!
Shortly after the interview rolled, Much played the video for “Hell Hole” and I had a chance to hear Spinal Tap for myself. Yeah, that blonde guy could sing. It was a decent song. I expected something heavier — more thrash like. Maybe the reason I hadn’t heard of them was they were a thrash band? If they were so highly praised by Ronnie James Dio, I couldn’t understand why I never heard of them. I didn’t have much to go on either.
According to the Dio interview, there were some unnamed rock stars who felt that Spinal Tap would turn Hear N’ Aid into a “laughing stock”. Why? I turned various scenarios over in my head. Were they satanic? Well, they had a song called “Hell Hole” and there was a big demon skull head in the backdrop, but that didn’t make them satanists. Just what was the story exactly with this Spinal Tap?
They did seem arrogant in the Hear N’ Aid “making of” video.
David St. Hubbins: “They asked us to do the leads, but like I said before, I didn’t wanna blow these other blokes away, you know. I’ve been doing this a lot longer than they have. I’ve got pipes I haven’t used yet. Haven’t located them yet.”
Derek Smalls: “He could break the board in there. It’s really an act of mercy to the engineers that he doesn’t sing lead.”
Arrogant yes, but…St. Hubbins has been doing this this a lot longer than they have? Just why haven’t I heard of Spinal Tap before? Analysing the video for “Hell Hole” revealed little. Yes, there was a comedic slant to it, but the song actually rocked. Other bands put comedy in their music videos too, like Twisted Sister. There was no reason whatsoever to suspect the truth.
The only real clue that I had was when Dio briefly mentioned a film. There, the trail went cold. Never heard of it, never seen it, didn’t know anybody who did. It was a couple more years before I eventually put the story together. While continuing my education in KISStory, I learned that their film, Kiss Meets the Phantom of the Park, was shown in a double bill with This Is Spinal Tap for a limited run. This happened in England, a “Headbanging double feature”, around October 1984.* I began to read names like “Michael McKean” and “Harry Shearer”. Eventually a highschool friend named Andy recommended that I see the movie ASAP so I rented a copy from Steve’s TV.
The truth is, I did not like This In Spinal Tap the first time I saw it. I didn’t laugh. It certainly wasn’t a gleeful rock and roll comedy, as I watched the hard times roll out one after another. But then the next day back at school, talking about it with Andy, I started to get the jokes.
“…and then when they’re stuck in those pods for ‘Rock and Roll Creation’ and the bassist can’t get out…they have to bring out a blowtorch…” said Andy.
“Oh yeah, that was pretty funny actually. You know what part I did like, was when they were lost in the basement trying to find the stage. Did you notice Billy Crystal was the mime? Mime is money!”
I finally got it. I rented it again, and this time I dubbed a copy for myself. I understood Rob Reiner’s role in the concept and recognized the actors from other roles. Christopher Guest, the other singer, was Count Rugen in The Princess Bride, only one of the greatest movies ever made. Also directed by Rob Reiner! I watched Spinal Tap again, and again. I think I had a new favourite movie!
There’s no shame in admitting being fooled by Spinal Tap. That was the whole point, wasn’t it? Otherwise the band wouldn’t have continued doing interviews in character. The idea was to always keep it believable enough that you can fool a small minority.
My dad used to say, “If that band is just a bunch of actors, then I guess it doesn’t take much talent to play rock and roll.” But my dad missed something then, that he now understands. Michael McKean, Harry Shearer and Christopher Guest are actually excellent musicians on multiple instruments. And that is why Spinal Tap was so believable. When Nignel Tufnel rips a solo in the video for “Hell Hole”, it looks right because Christopher Guest performed that solo. You know, maybe Spinal Tap should be considered a real band after all!
GETTING MORE TALE #831: Gone Shootin’ (The Lighter Side Of…)
Have you ever discharged a firearm in your own back yard, in a suburban setting? My dad has!
We were different from other families on the street. I didn’t see any guns in their basements. We had them though, rifles that were locked up in my dad’s gun rack. Ammunition safely hidden in another room. We looked forward to the winter, when we’d bring them to the cottage and fire then off over Lake Huron. The hot shell casings would eject and bury themselves in the snow, only to be found the following summer in the sand beneath. Then Dad and I would hammer them into our “sitting log”, little mementos of our winter fun. I secretly hoped the shell casings would freak out the average beach goer.
My dad had a breach-loaded Martini-Henry rifle that saw action in the Zulu wars of the late 19th century. That thing could kick. It would take your shoulder off if not careful. My dad later acquired the missing bayonet for it. Holding it was like holding history in your hands. Lives were lost to its muzzle. Once added to my dad’s collection, apple juice tins were its only victims.
Those were the good times. I do remember one bad time!
I would have been about 10 or 11 years old. I had a pet guinea pig that I named Fred. We weren’t allowed to have many pets when we were kids. My dad didn’t like a mess. But I got Fred, and he lived in a cage in our little basement. That is, until he got sick and stopped eating.
When it was clear that Fred was a goner, my dad did what had to be done, even though I was crying. He took his rifle and the guinea pig into the back yard. I watched from the kitchen window as he raised his gun and aimed towards the ground.
You could hear the crack of the rifle, and the echo of the boom in the air. Fred was buried in the back yard.
I wonder what would happen if you discharged a rifle in your back yard today? Back then (1983), nothing!
A few years later (1986), we had a couple weeks in September that were plagued by prank doorbell-ringers. A hobby I would take up myself the following year. (See: Getting More Tale #548: Bad Boys.) “Nicky Nicky Nine Door” was the name of the game, but my dad wasn’t amused when it happened to us. It was almost nightly.
After a few weeks of this my dad decided to end the pranks in his own special way. He had a starting pistol – a non-firing gun that looked and sounded like it was discharging live ammunition. It could only shoot blanks, but the crack of the fire and smoke from the barrel sure were convincing. So one night when the doorbell rang, my dad ran upstairs to get the starting pistol. He then bolted out the front door, firing the gun in every direction.
Let me tell you, we were never pranked again.
Guns aren’t all bad. You can use them to scare bad kids and put your own pets to sleep! Although I certainly wouldn’t advise it in this day and age.
I’ve never been much of a winter guy. I get that from my dad. The winter of ’92 was long with a number of serious snow days. I had just learned how to drive and it was certainly a challenge. Details are not important. You don’t need an accounting of times my little Plymouth Sundance got stuck or struggled to make it home from school. All you really need to know was what was in my tape deck.
I was still digesting a lot of the music that I received for Christmas at the end of ’91. The live Poison and Queensryche sets got a lot of car play once I dubbed them onto cassette. At this point my attention to detail was becoming overwhelming. I painstakingly faded in and faded out the sides of the live albums onto cassette. This had to be done manually as you were recording. If I missed the cue I’d do it over again until I got it right to my satisfaction. I should have known there was something wrong with me!
We had one serious snow day that year, and although class wasn’t cancelled I stayed home. My school friend Rob V made a tape for me of David Lee Roth live in Toronto on the Eat ‘Em and Smile tour. I know that I played that tape on that day because the memory is so clear. It was a great concert. Roth and Steve Vai had a fun interplay, where Steve imitated Roth’s vocal intonations with his guitar. Vai followed his voice as Roth told the crowd, “Toronto kicks ass, because the girls are soooo fiiiine!”
Time flies, and 1992 didn’t take long to kick into gear with new releases.
I had just discovered Queen. Suddenly here comes this new movie Wayne’s World which made Queen a worldwide phenomenon for a second time. More important to me though was the fact that the soundtrack CD included the first new Black Sabbath track with Ronnie James Dio in a decade: “Time Machine”! My buddy Peter didn’t care — he was strictly an Ozzy Sabbath fan. No Dio! (And certainly no Tony Martin!) But I was excited. I wanted to get that soundtrack as soon as possible.
There was a new music store that had just opened at the mall about six months prior. The very first tape I would ever buy there was the debut album by Mr. Bungle in late ’91. It would be the very Record Store that I would later dedicate years of my life to…but not yet. When it opened, I recall my sister and I being glad that there was finally a music store at the mall again, but disappointed in the prices. $14.99 for a tape was a lot of cash. CDs were unfortunately out of our price range. New cassette releases like Wayne’s World were cheaper at $10.99, so I went to the mall before class one morning to get a copy. And this is a funny memory as you’ll see.
When I worked at the store, the boss would give me shit if he thought I was talking to someone too much. I think he would have preferred good old fashioned silent labour, but I don’t know that. He also drilled into us to pay attention to every customer and don’t ignore anybody. So it’s quite ironic that he lost a sale that day by ignoring me and talking it up with some hot girl visiting him!
I was standing there in front of his new release rack looking for Wayne’s World. I knew it was out, but didn’t see it anywhere. I checked his soundtracks and it was missing in action. I wanted to ask him if he had it, but he was chatting it up with this girl. Eventually I caught his attention, but only because as I stood there waiting, I thought he did ask me a question. So I said, “Pardon me?” But he wasn’t actually talking to me, he was still talking to the girl. Once he noticed me, he informed me that Wayne’s World was sold out but he could hold a copy for me as soon as the next shipment arrived. I was ticked off so I said no thanks, and picked it up at the Zellers store down the hall instead.
Wayne’s World in the deck, I happily rocked to Queen, Sabbath, Cinderella, and hell even Gary Wright. Peter and I saw the movie one Saturday night at a theater in Guelph, and liked it so much that we went back to see it again the following afternoon. I saw Wayne’s World four times that winter!
I got my fill of Queen with the recent Classic Queen CD, released later that March. I got the CD for a good price at the local Costco! This enabled me to get a good chunk of Queen hits all at once in glorious CD quality.
The next big release to hit my car deck was a big one. A really big one. An album five years in the making through triumph and tragedy.
On March 31 I went back to the Record Store on my way to class, and the new release I was waiting for had arrived. I left gripping Adrenalize in my hands. An album I had been waiting for since highschool and even had actual dreams about! It was finally real. Into the tape deck it went as I drove to school. Less riffy…more reliant on vocal melody…not bad? I’ll let them have it though. After what they’ve been through? Yeah, I’ll cut them some slack.
Two weeks later, I was digesting another massive chunk of music.
I didn’t get Pandora’s Box in 1991 when it was released. There was so much going on. But my parents bought it for me as an Easter gift in April ’92. That Easter I was “Back in the Saddle” with three CDs of Aerosmith!
It was a bittersweet gift. Traditionally the family spent Easter at the cottage. I have lots of happy memories of playing GI Joe in the fresh Easter afternoons up there. This time I had to study for final exams and stayed home with my gift. I must have played that box set two times through while studying that weekend.
Exams were over by the end of April and suddenly…it was summer holidays. In April! It was…incredible! I stubbornly refused to get a summer job. I have to say I don’t regret that. I had savings from my previous job at the grocery store and I was getting Chrysler dividends cheques (yeah, baby). Between that, Christmas & birthday gifts, I got most of the music I wanted. And I got to spend that summer just enjoying it all. It felt really good after such a long and frankly lonely winter.
Pandora’s Box tided me over. After all, it was a lot to absorb having heard very little “old” Aerosmith up til that point. My favourite track was “Sharpshooter” by Whitford – St. Holmes. I liked that they included a sampling of solo material by various members. These were new worlds to discover, but what about the next big release? Who would be the one to spend my valuable savings on?
Iron Maiden were back on May 11 after a very short absence with Fear of the Dark, their second of the Janick Gers era. But I needed to save my money, and wait one more week for something even more important to me. It was Revenge time.
Speaking of triumph and tragedy, it was time for some overdue spoils for Kiss. Having lost drummer Eric Carr to cancer in late ’91, Kiss deserved to catch a break. Fortunately Revenge turned out to be a far better album than the previous few. I recall getting over a really bad cold, and my lungs were still congested on that spring day. The outdoor air felt amazing. I walked over to the mall on release day and bought my CD copy at the Record Store. I probably ran all the way home to play it, lungs be damned.
To say I was happy was an understatement. In 1992 you had to come out with something strong or you would sink. It was a more vicious musical world than just a year ago. Fortunately Kiss did not wimp out and came out with an album just heavy enough, without following trends. It would be my favourite album of the year, though a few strong contenders were still lined up.
My birthday was coming and I would have to wait a little while to get some more essential tunes. Fear of the Dark was on the list. So was Faith No More’s Angel Dust, which was a must. And, of course, rock’s ultimate royalty returned in 1992. A band that rock history cannot ignore, though it arguably should. A band that defined the term “odorous”. A band with a colourful and tragic backstory. A band making its long feared return with its first album since 1984’s Smell the Glove. And with their new album Break Like the Wind, they proudly proclaimed, yes indeed, this is Spinal Tap.
Once again, quite a bit of music to absorb. I had been anticipating the Iron Maiden. I heard the first single “Be Quick or Be Dead” on Q107 late one night, and didn’t think much of it at first. I was concerned that Bruce Dickinson’s voice was becoming more growly and less melodic. The album helped assuage these concerns with a number of melodic numbers including “Wasting Love”, “Afraid to Shoot Strangers” and “Fear of the Dark”. But the album was infected with lots of filler. “Weekend Warrior”, “Fear is the Key”, “Chains of Misery”…lots of songs that were just not memorable. Fear of the Dark sounded better than its predecessor but could you say it was better than Seventh Son? Somewhere in Time? Powerslave? No.
Though it was murky and dense, the Faith No More album blew me away. The M.E.A.T Magazine review by Drew Masters gave it 2/5 M’s. I gave it 5/5. I wanted something heavy and weird from Faith No More. I got what I wanted. Peter was a big Faith No More fan too, but I don’t think he dug Angel Dust as much as I did. We both appreciated the comedic aspects but I really got into the samples, nuances and rhythms. It was, and is, a masterpiece. I believe I can say that I was of that opinion from the very beginning.
And Spinal Tap, dear Spinal Tap. The Majesties of Rock took a little longer for me to fully understand. And no wonder, for Spinal Tap are playing musical 4-dimensional chess inside your ear canals. I simply had to accept that several years had passed since Spinal Tap last recorded, and they had grown in their own stunted way. I’ve always thought that the title track was sincerely brilliant. But I never liked that Nigel Tufnel had so few lead vocals. I have long appreciated bands that had multiple lead singers. While this time even bassist Derek Smalls stepped up to the microphone, it was David St. Hubbins who sang lead on 11 of the 14 tracks. Now, this is certainly not to criticise the enviable lead pipes of St. Hubbins, but merely to state that there wasn’t enough Nigel. Having said that, Nigel did branch out by employing a new guitar playing technique — doubling his solos with vocals, like Gillan used to do with Blackmore. He also got to unleash his new amps that went up to infinity, which debuted live at the Freddie Mercury tribute concert in April.
Like all things, summer eventually came to an end and it was back to school once again. That fall and into Christmas I got some of the last new releases that were on my radar. I missed Black Sabbath when Dehumanizer came out in June. That one took a long time to really like. While the production was incredibly crisp, the songs didn’t seem up to snuff to me. At least at first. In time, it became a personal favourite album.
That Christmas came the new Bon Jovi album Keep the Faith, Queen’s new Greatest Hits, and of course AC/DC Live. It was also the Christmas that I first realized there was something wrong inside my head, and I realized it because of those albums. It was partly the obsessive-compulsive disorder, but also a massive hangup about being ignored. I wanted the AC/DC double Live, but was given the single. I wanted Keep the Faith and Queen on CD but got cassette. As I grew older and learned more about myself, I realized that I became very upset if I felt like someone was not listening to me or understanding me. Nobody seemed to get why I wanted specific versions (because of my OCD actually), and I couldn’t explain it, so that set me off even further. I became extremely grumpy that Christmas over these gifts, and it was ugly. I isolated myself to stew in my own negativity. It’s not something I’m proud of, and you can call me a spoiled brat if you want to (you wouldn’t be wrong). At least I’ve worked at trying to figure out my defects.
It’s not like any of it mattered in the long term. I have re-bought all of those albums twice since, each!
1992 went out much like it came in, cold and snowy. Canadian winters are hard. Some people have the DNA for it, but I don’t. I’m half Italian. I wasn’t designed for snowy, damp winters. That’s why music is so important to me in the winter months. Music can be a completely indoor activity and I had a continually fresh supply. 1992 was a big year for heavy metal even though the grunge revolution had already started. Of course, things were not to stay as they are. Iron Maiden and Faith No More were about to hit some major speedbumps, and Black Sabbath had already split in two by the end of the year! 1992 was the last time we could pretend heavy metal was still in good health. Hard rock was about to endure further challenges and hardships. At least we had ’92.
GETTING MORE TALE #829: Freestylin’ 6 – A Wasted Candy Script for Chaos
Buy local! That’s the mantra these days. The last time we went “Freestylin’“, I explained that I was going to try and buy as much of my music from Encore Records. Having consumed the four albums I ordered last time, I decided to order four more! Like before, I tried to (mostly) focus on albums I’ve never heard before. At the same time I also wanted to pick up some music that people have been recommending to me.
First into the shopping cart: Love/Hate – Wasted in America. Your Heavy Metal Overlord was pleased that I enjoyed their debut album, Blackout in the Red Room, and so commanded me to acquire their second, Wasted in America. Encore had in stock the Rock Candy reissue with two bonus tracks: “Castles From Sand” and “Soul House Tales”. I trust HMO with my dollars — he has rarely, if ever, steered me wrong.
My second purchase was Nita Strauss’ debut CD Controlled Chaos. If you didn’t know, Nita plays lead guitar with Alice Cooper. This one came highly praised by John over at 2loud2oldmusic. “Nothing short of spectacular,” he said. Funny enough, the last time he inspired me to purchase an album, it was another guitar instrumental: Joe Satriani’s Shapeshifting. I am looking forward to hearing a guitarist that, aside from live performances playing someone else’s songs, I’ve never really had a chance to listen to. If Nita is as much of a beast in the studio as she is live, this oughta be a good album.
Uncle Meat has been telling me to buy some Cars studio albums for ages. All I owned to this point was a Cars anthology called Just What I Needed. Meat specifically recommended Panorama, but Encore had the expanded edition of Candy-O for just $16.99. Maybe I’ll get Panorama next. There is no point in getting the versions without the bonus tracks. This one has a number of alternate versions, one B-side, and one previously unreleased song called “They Won’t See You”.
Because I ordered four CDs the first time I ordered from Encore, I randomly decided that I had to get four again this time. My fourth was a re-buy, but a pretty mega re-buy. The nice thing about this one is that it doesn’t replace the version I already own. Rather, it complements the earlier version. EMI already did a pretty excellent job when they reissued the Marillion catalogue in the 1990s. Each of the first eight albums was stuffed with bonus discs packed with rarities and unreleased material. My new copy of their debut, Script for a Jester’s Tear (4 CDs + 1 Blu-ray) duplicates only one track from the EMI original!
For the 2020 box set version of Script, the entire album is remixed, meaning I will need to hang onto my original. The Market Square Heroes EP is also remixed. The only song duplicated over both versions is “Charting the Single”, but here it is in a fresh 2020 remastering. Discs three and four are an unreleased concert, Live at the Marquee Club. “But I have that already!” you protest. Do you? No. The concert on the Early Stages box set was recorded December 30, 1982. This one was recorded the day before, December 29th! While the setlist is identical, the concert is a completely unreleased one.
Finally the Blu-ray disc has the usual music videos and hi-def audio tracks, but most importantly it also has Script remixed in 5.1 surround. It even includes the entire Recital of the Script live video (81 minutes)! In other words, this version of Script is packed to the gills, yet amazingly without rendering your old copy obsolete.
Guitarist Steph Honde told me that the official Marillion website is sold out and he hasn’t been able to find a copy anywhere. Fortunately the Marillion store says they will have more this week.
Thanks to Mark at Encore Records for keeping the rock rollin’. This has been so important to my mental health. I have always ordered new music to give myself something to look forward to in the mail. The only difference in this new reality is that I sanitize the parcels thoroughly. After too many weeks of no new music, ordering from Encore has been awesome.
Wonder what I’ll order next time? Recommend four CDs to me. If Encore carries them, there’s a possibility I might end up buying your favourite album next.
A year ago we did a massive de-clutter. We had gotten to the point where we accumulated too much stuff. Especially after Jen’s mom passed away. We probably kept too much of her stuff out of sentiment. But in a very short period of time we made massive purge; a painful purge. And it wasn’t the first. As you go through life you get rid of things. You can’t carry all your possessions with you through your whole life.
Although I have forgotten many of the myriad DVDs, books, T-shirts and collectibles that I tossed to the curb, there are some that I now regret losing. Doner’s regret is a very real thing. Some decisions were made in haste and others were made without sufficient foresight.
I used to record all of my CDs and LPs to cassette so that I could play them in the car. Once I had a car CD player, I didn’t need to keep doing that. Eventually I decided to give away all my excess cassettes and that’s how they ended up in a Thunder Bay landfill. I only regret giving away a small handful of my tapes. I wish I had hung onto some of the more obscure ones, and anything that I made cool artwork for. I guess I didn’t imagine that one day people would want to look at photos of old cassettes and read reviews of them.
In years past, any time I have done a major de-cluttering, I’ve thrown a massive garage sale. Sorting through and pricing items gives you some time to process what you’re doing, and make final decisions. It’s an ideal way of getting rid of stuff. But even so, I have made mistakes that I regret now. My childhood rock magazine collection — what I would give to have some of those issues again. They would come in handy with what I’m doing now. I had just about every issue of Hit Parader from 1987 through to 1990. From there I moved on to RIP, Metal Edge and the various guitar magazines available. When I purged my magazines, I hung onto just a small handful, but knowing they were irreplaceable, I kept all my M.E.A.T. Thank God I did! I’d never be able to replace them all if I hadn’t, and those things have been invaluable research sources. At least I know my magazines went to a good home. My old friend Len came to the garage sale and took every one. I know he is someone who would appreciate them for what they are.
I got rid of the magazines when I got married. I had to make space for my awesome new wife and her boxes and boxes full of clothes! Around the same time, I passed all my old Star Wars toys down to my sister Kathryn. Again, I have no regrets. They went to the right person to care for them. I admit I do get a nostalgic craving to hold my Han Solo one more time, but I think that could be arranged if necessary.
More recently, I’m kicking myself for giving away all my Star Trek DVDs. All the movies (I had the double DVD collector sets), and all the seasons of the Original Series. The entire “Fan Collective” series, which were so good. Gone in one trip to the Goodwill store. Decision made far too quickly and I’ve been regretting it ever since. Why donate instead of sell? Because we were trying to do this very quickly. Hiring an organizer is expensive. Getting a couple bucks per disc wasn’t worth trying to hawk them all. I put them in a huge bag, dropped them off at Goodwill and tried to feel good about the regained space.
Don’t get me wrong — I needed the space. But my purge went too far.
So now I have to re-buy all the Trek movies. I can do without the series as they are all on Netflix, but I need the films back. I don’t know what to buy: blu-ray, DVD, whatever has the best content? This would have been simpler had I just kept them all. A couple weeks ago I re-bought an old Star Wars comic that I somehow lost. It must have left the house accidentally jammed between something else because I never would have gotten rid of issue #47, “Droid World”. It’s the only issue that means anything to me and the only one I want to have. I used to try and draw all the different robots inside over and over again. Cost me $5 to replace, but oh well. Never should have left the house.
At least I didn’t let a single CD go. That organiser tried, oh did she ever try.
“So what are we doing with these?” she asked about the three CD towers and numerous mountains of dics in my workspace.
“These are all staying.” I replied bluntly. “These are my life and they are non-negotiable.”
“You know that you can put all of this on a computer now and not have to worry about storing all of these? I mean when can you listen to all of this?”
The same questions everybody asks. Everybody who’s not a music fan that is.
“I’m putting them on my computer all the time. That’s what this setup is for. But I collect CDs, some of these are irreplaceable. I love them all. I could tell you where I got almost every single one. I read the notes inside. I look at the artwork.”
Trying to explain it was like talking to a wall. “But all that stuff is online!” She was begging me to reconsider but guess what. I still have all my CDs.
Still trying to work on a decent storage layout, but I’m not a carpenter. I can barely hammer a nail. I need people to help with stuff like that. It’ll happen one day. But the discs. aren’t. leaving. And just on a logistical level, I need to have my music backed up to a hard copy like CD anyway just in case something happened to my 2-terrabyte digital library!
I would never recommend hiring a professional organiser to any of my music fans. They won’t understand your needs and you could end up making mistakes. Don’t make the same ones I did, but do stick to your guns when it comes to your albums!
GETTING MORE TALE #827: Freestylin’ 5 – Brave New World
Oh, how so much has changed in such a short time. The conveniences I once took for granted are now dearly missed. I feel as if I am living in the early chapters of an old undiscovered dystopian fiction novel. Then there is the paranoia I feel when we get such mixed signals from all around. Don’t go out! But this store is offering pickups. Wear a mask! But only if you’re not able to be more than 2 metres away from the next person. Or not. And what kind of masks? It’s a surreal day that ends with a phone call with your mother about what kind of mask she’s wearing these days.
Look at classic science fiction. There are very few that feature gloves as part of regular daily attire that are not dystopias!
Because I feel it’s appropriate, I’m listening to Kilroy Was Here by Styx for inspiration while I write.
“We all need control. I need control. We all need control.”
And to think we were led to believe that the future dystopia would involve robots and rock & roll rebels.
On the other hand, I feel like I’ve been rehearsing for this my whole life. In spite of losing hundreds of books and movies in a recent purge (to be discussed in full in another chapter), I still have dozens unwatched and unread here to enjoy. I was saving them for the proverbial “rainy day”. Who was to know it was going to be three months of rain?
As a classic introvert, I tended to spend most of my time indoors anyway, nose buried in a laptop, headphones on. I never particularly sought busy weekends of going out and being social. I left that to Jen while I did my own thing. She’s managing as well as anyone else. What I really miss are the luxuries. Dropping in at the parents house to steal groceries from their fridge for a visit. Going out for a medium rare steak when you’re craving it. Wandering the aisles at the record store. Even ordering from Amazon.
I am a creature of habit, but with more emphasis on spending locally in social media, a thought occurred to me. Why am I relying on Amazon for music? We have Encore Records here in town, and they have been advertising that they ship. The other day, John at 2loud2oldmusic mentioned that there was a new Joe Satriani coming out. I liked the track he posted, so I checked and Encore had it in stock.
I don’t believe in ordering “just one” of anything so I browsed a bit and quickly filled my cart. I searched for “Coverdale” (hey, you never know if something previously unheard will pop up) and their very smart search engine returned me a hit for all his stuff plus some related albums like Vandenberg. Why not? It looked like it’s probably one of those sweet Rock Candy reissues. Love/Hate’s Blackout in the Red Room is an album I’ve wanted for 30 years but never pulled the trigger on until now. It has three bonus tracks thanks to Rock Candy’s fine series of reprints. Finally, King Kobra’s second CD Thrill of a Lifetime made it an even four.
I picked my shipping, hit the Paypal button and later the next day they had my order processed. I’m going to have new music this week! And plenty of it too!
New music helps keep up the illusion that things are still “normal”, while they are actually anything but. You can pretend for a while. I’ll sanitize the parcel when it arrives, a stark foreshadow of what the “new” normal will be like. I’ll wash my hands when I’ve removed and discarded the cellophane. Only then will I allow myself to enjoy the CDs without the reminders.
A wise person recently told me that now is the time to spread kindness. I’m trying to remember that. Part of that includes being kind to yourself. I bought myself some CDs. Don’t be afraid to treat yourself if you can. I know we’re not all in a situation where we are financially able to do that. I’m part of an essential service. As much as I resented that at first, I’m really grateful for it.
As I try to be kind to myself, a dark side of me whispers in my ear. “You’re being careless. Everything you let enter the house is a threat. You already suffer asthma. You’re not paying attention to the statistics. You should be working from home.”
We are all facing our own personal struggles right now. I know a few people who have it bad, real bad, and I can’t do a damn thing to help them except be here to listen. It’s a small gesture, but can be a huge one in some circumstances. Don’t underestimate your own personal value as a human being that can listen.
My hopes are high that we will get through this together. Together, separately. Humans have a remarkable capacity to work together when we want to. I don’t dare put a timeline on this in my mind. I try to take it one day and one week at a time. We have made it through another week, and all we have to do now is keep on keepin’ on.
The trick is hanging onto the good stuff and throwing out the junk! I’ve accumulated a lot of junk and not always made the wisest decisions when I throw things out. Keeping things that don’t take up a lot of space is easiest, and postcards take up very little space.
These postcards came from a variety of sources and only one could be from the Record Store! I’ve said it many times: a used CD store gets nothing promotional. Record companies assumed we would just turn around and sell it. Which we made a point of never doing anyway. But we rarely got anything from bands that I liked when we did get promo material. It was the 90s after all.
I have two of these Test For Echo postcards from Rush. You can tell I didn’t get them from my store since they’re from Future Shop for a MuchMusic contest. I don’t know how I ended up with two.
I also have two of these Slik Toxik postcards. My best guess is that these were packed inside my subscription of M.E.A.T Magazine. There were perks to subscribing and I didn’t let my subscription lapse. Slik Toxik were one of M.E.A.T’s pride and joys. They were behind the band from a very early stage.
Another pair of postcards! Deadline sent these to me for my birthdays in 1994 and 1995! Little did they know that I’d still be promoting their band, 25 years later and long after they disappeared.
Then and now, I think this is a really cool touch. It’s not like today, seeing somebody’s birthday on Facebook and wishing them a happy one. Somebody had to keep a file with the fan club birthdays and mail these out at their expense. Glad I hung onto these treasures; I even have my membership card!
Finally, the last few postcards here are from a mixture of sources. I was a Sven Gali fan club member, and for Christmas they sent out of a fully signed postcard. My membership must have expired shortly after. The W.A.S.P. card is from their dreadful K.F.D. album, not a disc that I particularly treasure. This is the only one that could have come from the Record Store, though it’s an unusual item for us. And the Star Trek shuttlepod is there because I had room on the scanner bed. No story; no idea where it came from.
GETTING MORE TALE #825: Klassic Kwote – Carnival of Souls
We were encouraged to put stickers on CDs to draw attention to them at the Record Store. When Kiss’ Carnival of Souls was released in 1997, I put a sticker on there that read “FINAL ALBUM WITH BRUCE & ERIC”. Because why not. Other stores did things like that. Stickers are fun. Bosses didn’t like my stickers, but I was the store manager and I wanted to make stickers.
A dude picked up the CD and asked me, “What does this mean? Final album with Bruce and Eric?”
I didn’t know how to respond so I simply answered, “It’s the final album with Bruce & Eric.”
Name one person who doesn’t love closing down for the day. Work completed, clock ticks 9:00 pm, and the doors are locked. Time to go eat some dinner and unwind. At the Record Store, we got paid until 9:15 pm, the approximate amount of time it would take to cash out and close. Sometimes we could do it in 10 minutes, sometimes far longer. It was always considered a victory if you could completely close out in 10 minutes, and get paid for 15. Small triumphs.
My favourite location to close was the original mall store at Stanley Park. It was probably my favourite for closing because I was working alone. Closing a store by yourself gives you a greater sense of responsibility. Plus you could listen to whatever (metal) you wanted.
Listen, I don’t care where you work, everybody wants to go home and get refueled. It’s a basic right. Once you stop getting paid, you’re a free human being again.
There was one occasion at the mall I’ll never forget. I was closing up normally and had just returned from the bank to drop off the night deposit. I shut down the lights, packed up my stuff and locked the door. As I was heading to the parking lot to meet my dad who was picking me up, I spied a group of three or four kids down the hall heading to the store, arms loaded with CDs to sell. Just loaded — the group must have had 100 discs altogether. I stealthily sneaked out of the mall via a seldom-used side entrance, hopefully unseen.
Close call! The last thing I wanted was to have my dinner delayed by a group of kids needing last minute (booze) money after closing time.
This kind of thing still bugs me. When I’m out shopping I’m very conscious of closing time. I’m not going to get some sales rep to perform handstands just before closing, and definitely not after! Some kids don’t know any better, but they should. Didn’t they have their own part time jobs that they didn’t like to stay late for? Did they get paid extra if they had to stay late? We didn’t.
I was glad to say “I’m outta here!” at closing time even if there were still people wanting to come in. Maybe we could have made more money if we did stay open, but none of it would be coming my way.
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