Sometimes you just gotta laugh. Â Extreme released two of their finest albums after grunge wiped the slate clean. Â Extreme were the punchline, but that didn’t stop them from making a smokin’ fourth album. Â In 1992 Nuno envisioned the next album as “really funky”, and there is some funk here. Â However Waiting for the Punchline was much more straight ahead: stripped down, no orchestras, no rap, just guitar rock through and through.
“There Is No God” sounds like an odd title from a band as Christian as Extreme were, but Gary Cherone has always been a lyrical champion.  It’s not as simple as it appears, but the groove just lays waste.  The next track “Cynical Fuck” turns it up further.  It is pure smoke, and perfect for the decade it was written in.  “Tell Me Something I Don’t Know” takes the soft/hard approach with a loud droning Nuno riff.  It’s another brilliant song, and harder than what Extreme were doing before.  Much of Waiting for the Punchline is driven by the bass and drums.  The interesting thing about this is that drummer Paul Geary left during the making of this album, and was replaced by Mike Mangini who is now in Dream Theater.  You hear two very distinct drum styles through the CD.  Geary has a straight ahead approach, while Mangini is capable of just about anything.  His first track is the single “Hip Today” and you can hear how his beats are anything but basic.
“Hip Today” is a good tune and a good indicator of what the album sounds like: Bass, drums, guitar. Listen to how the rhythm guitar drops out when Nuno solos. Just like the first classic Van Halen. The lyrics sound bitter as Gary warns the next generation of bands that their time too will end.  Things slow down a little on “Naked”, before the side-ending instrumental “Midnight Express”.  This is a truly brilliant track, proof that Nuno’s stunning plectrum practice has paid off.  When it comes to acoustic guitar work in rock and roll band, Nuno is among the very best.  “Midnight Express” gives me callouses just thinking about it.
Dark moods commence the second side with “Leave Me Alone”, a sentiment many of us understand.  Don’t worry about me — I’m happy alone sometimes.  Nuno uses volume swells a-la Van Halen’s “Cathedral” to create a nifty riff.  Into “No Respect”, Nuno makes his guitar purr, while the rhythm section throws it into overdrive.  “Evilangelist” tackles the religion questions again, with a funky riff and cool digitized chorus.  The dark and heavy vibes give way to light shortly on “Shadow Boxing” and “Unconditionally”.  Both tracks are brilliant but different.  “Shadow Boxing” might be considered the “Hole Hearted” of this album, while “Unconditionally” leans towards “More Than Words”.  Neither are re-writes, but those are the easiest comparisons.
One final surprise is the unlisted bonus track. Â It wasn’t on the cassette version, but you will find the title track “Waiting for the Punchline” after “Unconditionally”. Â There are two cool things about this. Â One: it’s an awesome track, much like the angrier stuff on side one. Â Two: it closes the album even better than “Unconditionally”. Â Great little surprise so don’t hit “stop”!
The thing about Waiting for the Punchline is that it’s a grower. Â The first couple listens, I thought “It’s not as good as their old stuff, but what is these days?” Â The new stripped down Extreme didn’t seem as interesting as the lavish one from Extreme III or the flashy one from Extreme II. Â After a few listens, different textures began to emerge, add their own colours and depth. Â Particular with the guitar work, but also the rhythms, there is much delight to be discovered here.
What did you do New Year’s Eve? Â I explored the neighborhood, and bought comic books. Â Here’s your Sunday Chuckle.
I was at home taking care of a sickie, when I got a text from my pal Jason.
“What are you doing right now? Â I’m at the comic book store across from your place. Â Big sale. Â Free pizza. Â You should come.”
Hold on…
…What comic book store across from my place?!?
There’s an actual comic store across the street from my place?  Apparently I have been completely ignoring the COMICS! COMICS! COMICS! sign for months.
New favourite store. Â I bought a five-pack of the new ROM rebooted series from IDW ($20 for issues 1-5).
On my way out of the store, I ran into a big friendly guy who looked vaguely familiar. Â “Jonathan”? I asked him, taking a chance. Â He looked puzzled and answered back, “LeBrain?” Â Sure enough, it was LeBrain reader and DaveRocks listener JT, who I actually reviewed a Jethro Tull album for by request a little while ago. Â It was our first actual meeting, but surely not the last, now that I know where he gets his comics!
You’ve read it here before, and we’ll repeat it again:  Japan gets the best stuff!
While the UK got the regular CD single for the song “Unconditionally” (four tracks), Japan called it the Running Gag EP and added a fifth track. Â Due to various chart regulations in the UK, singles had to have four or less tracks to qualify. Â Meanwhile, Japan seems to love releasing exclusive EPs and Running Gag is one such exclusive that Extreme fans will want to hunt down.
Extreme’s fourth album, 1995’s Waiting for the Punchline, was as much a treat as the prior albums.  It was as different from them as they are from each other.  This time, they went raw and stripped down.  You can usually hear only one guitar track at a time.  “Unconditionally” was the closing ballad, a fantastic song presented here as an edited remix.  Mike Mangini was added on drums, and you can hear slight differences from the album track.  Had the year been 1991, they would have had another hit on their hands.  Fans who know the song will recognize it for its heart and charm.
Three live songs with Mike Mangini on drums are the real treat of the set.  (He gets a chance or two to really smoke.)  “Am I Ever Gonna Change” from Extreme III is the middle part of their side-long epic “Everything Under the Sun”.  It worked well enough as a standalone song to be released as a promo single, and to be played live.  For the live situation, Nuno souped up his guitar solo.  Without the backing orchestra the album version has, it’s a very different sound.  Such is the danger of recording an album that is difficult to reproduce live.
The two tracks from Waiting for the Punchline sound more at home on stage.  “Tell Me Something I Don’t Know” (the Japanese exclusive) and “Naked” have a mean, catchy vibe.  Extreme were one of very few hard rock bands that adapted their sound well to the grunge onslaught.  These songs are not “grunge”, but they represent a step in that direction.  The songs have more bite, more bass, more groove.  The solos are sparse, though Nuno puts his foot to the gas pedal when required.  Without sounding dated Extreme simply pivoted just so into the 90s, but it sadly didn’t equal sales.
The final song is a studio ballad, “When Will it Rain” which has a vague Wings sound crossed with smooth Extreme balladeering.  It’s actually quite a great little bonus track.  Its quaint 70s qualities might not have fit in well on the original album, but hopefully you will have a chance to hear it in your travels.
In 25 years of driving, I believe I have only had three speeding tickets. Â Apparently, I can drive 55. Most of the time.
I took driver training at Canada Driving School, and there is one thing I’ll never forget from one of the in-class sessions.
“Music can have an influence on your driving,” said the instructor. Â “Fast and upbeat music can trick your brain into driving faster without realizing it. Â Keep an eye on your speedometer and don’t listen to AC/DC if this is a problem!”
A couple months later I had my license and was driving myself to and from school in my dad’s Plymouth Sundance. Â There was no graduated licensing in Ontario back then. Â I was driving alone on the expressway. Â Of course, I loved having a car stereo to myself. Â In short order it was proven that listening to AC/DC was not a problem for me. Â Instead of weighing down the accelerator pedal, AC/DC kept me calm in traffic. Â Silence made me nervous but music soothed. Â If I was speeding it had nothing to do with the song on the tape deck. Â If anything, I tended to slow myself down a bit so my trip could take a little longer, and I could finish a song.
In fact, recent studies have shown that, generally speaking, if music is an influence on driving it tends to be a positive influence.  I can’t say I’m surprised.
Sure, I’ve admitted to air drumming and so on in the car. Â This is usually at red lights though, so I’m letting myself off.
I like to listen to live albums in the car.  They work very well in that noisy environment.  Instead of silence between songs that lets in all that road noise, you hear only the screaming of a crowd.  In addition, the length of a live album works well for highway driving.  If I’m heading to the Toronto area, a typical double live album will easily get a full play on the road.  At home, I don’t always have time to listen to a double live album in one sitting.
Facing the roads on a daily basis in this town can be like taking your life in your hands.  I’ve whined and moaned about the drivers here and it has been getting worse.  The 401 is undergoing heavy construction and drivers have a loose grasp on what lanes are lanes and what are not.  It’s treacherous, and more and more drivers are thinking only about their commute time rather than driving like a sane person.  Instead of weaving in and out desperately trying to get a little further ahead in the pack, I tend to stay in one lane as much as possible.  Perhaps this is the calming effect of good music.  I don’t need to race home if there is a good song I want to finish.  Maybe the racing guys should put on a good song, too.
I’ll admit it, driving is far from my favourite activity.  My favourite kind of day off involves no driving anywhere.  There are estimates that we spend about five years of our lives locked in our cars on the road.  I prefer to think of that as five years of road testing some amazing albums.  I would also argue that roughly 50% of the music reviews here are mikeladano.com were brainstormed while listening to the albums in the car.
Quite frankly, I don’t understand the speed demons. Â Where are you going in such a hurry? Â Maybe you should have left a little earlier. Â Some music in the car makes the time fly easier.
Did you catch Han Solo’s cameo in the “I Can’t Drive 55” music video? Left – John David Kalodner. Right – Han Solo.
AEROSMITH – Just Push Play (2001 Sony, includes bonus track “Face”)
“I don’t think we’ve made a decent album in years. Just Push Play is my least favorite.” – Joe Perry
The sad and depressing fact of the matter is, Aerosmith could have retired long before Just Push Play, and we would have lost nothing terribly valuable. Â They’ve pandered for hits before, but never as blatantly contrived as Just Push Play. Â It’s an embarrassing state of affairs that deserves every inch of scorn we’re about to unload upon it.
Hi-tech digital tracks written and produced with outsiders make up Just Push Play, a weak attempt to be young hip and cool when Aerosmith were anything but. Look at the sleek haircuts in the band photo. Only Joe Perry appears to know what band he’s in. The album was recorded with sterility. At no time were all five members in the studio together, according to Joe, and that’s exactly how it sounds.
If their heads weren’t in the clouds (coming off their biggest hit single ever) they might have made a rock album.  “Beyond Beautiful” is a close imitation, a robotic and stiff carbon copy.  Ballads like “Fly Away From Here” sound as if faxed in from the office.  These blatant attempts to repeat past glories are among the most offensive on Just Push Play.  It is true that one of Aerosmith’s first hits (“Dream On”) was a ballad.  That was a long time ago and a long way from being flat broke and banging out a song in the middle of the night on a piano.  These new ballads like “Luv Lies” and “Sunshine” are written specifically by hitsmiths in order to appeal to people who would not normally buy an Aerosmith CD.  The result is that they appeal to nobody.
As bland and unappealing as these forgettable ballads are, none are as offensive as the title track “Just Push Play”. Â Nobody asked Aerosmith to do a rasta-hip-hop track. Â The Run-DMC version of “Walk This Way” is the definitive Aero-rap, a masterpiece of serendipity and cutting edge ambition. Â Aerosmith thought it was necessary to revisit that sound 15 years later, and once again the result is a blurry facsimile that pales in comparison.
“Jaded”, the first single, is a great Aero-hit, one of the few from this era of co-writers and collaborators. Â Fortunately you don’t have to buy the album to get it, as there was a five track EP you could buy instead. Â If you go that way, you can still enjoy a couple different versions of the charismatic single. Â “Jaded” had the kind of chorus that Aerosmith used to be able to write in their sleep, but now apparently need help to do.
There were different bonus tracks for different regions. Â US and Canada got nil, but Europe got “Face” while Japan received “Won’t Let You Down” and a bunch of other stuff including five live tracks from 1978 (California and Texxas Jams). Â That 2 CD Japanese edition might be worth tracking down for the bonus material, but “Face” remained exclusive to Europe. Â Is it worth it? Â Actually…it might be. Â “Face” is an acoustic track that sounds a bit like a B-side. Â It’s closest to “Jaded” in sound, and sounds looser than most of the rest of the album. Â It’s certainly not going to become a lost favourite, but if you find a copy at the right price, consider it.
Kettle of Fish, the “best of” Derek W. Dick, is the first and only CD I’ve ever had stolen from me.
I got it cheap, something like $7 brand new, from one of our stores. Â Then a year later, someone stole the CD player from my car, with the Fish CD inside. Â Emotionally distraught, I sought to replace it right away. Â The best I could do was $30 for a replacement copy shipped from Fish’s official site. Â How crushing. Â I wondered with bemusement what the thieves thought of Fish’s progressive rock poetry. Â I imagine they tossed the disc into a snowbank.
While Kettle of Fish is no replacement for Fish’s debut solo album Vigil In a Wilderness of Mirrors, it is a fine collection of the man’s first decade as a solo artist and an enjoyable listen through.  It also boasts a nice colourful booklet with all the relevant singles covers, photos, lyrics and liner notes by Derek W. Dick.  Incidentally my original copy was missing pages.  I wonder if that is how it ended up in our store?  A defective run, sent off to a clearance somewhere, that eventually found its way into one of our warehouses.  Missing pages notwithstanding, it’s an excellent packaging job.
Since the album is made up of singles (and two new songs that we’ll get to), you will always find that critical deep album cuts are missing.  “Vigil” was not a single, but it’s one of Fish’s greatest achievements.  There’s no “The Company”.  “I Like to Watch” is missing in action.  Instead the CD is arranged to give roughly equal time to all of Fish’s output to date.  Tracks from Internal Exile, Suits, Yin, Yang and Sunsets On Empire are given fair representation.
Some of the best tracks are the lesser known variety.  “Brother 52” is hip and modern, yet still obviously Fish.  The loopy drums are perfect for the track, lending it a 90’s groove with a rock integrity throughout.  The spoken word parts of “Brother 52” are sometimes distracting, but are by and large incorporated as part of the song.  A vibrant violin solo goes for the kill and that’s all she wrote.  The Celtic jig “Internal Exile” is another immediate favourite.  The lyrics evolved from a song Marillion were working on for their unfinished fifth LP called “Exile on Princess Street”.  It was the kind of stuff Marillion were getting sick of. According to Dick, “The lyrics started to follow a more political lean with a distinctly Scottish nationalist tone. The band weren’t happy.”
I saw a blue umbrella in Princes Street Gardens, Heading out west for the Lothian Road, An Evening News stuffed deep in his pocket, Wrapped up in his problems to keep away the cold.
Grierson’s spirit haunts the dockyards, Where the only men working are on the documentary crews, Shooting film as the lines get longer, As the seams run out, as the oil runs dry.
The finished lyrics make you feel it. Yes the music for “Internal Exile” is bright and chipper, with a tin whistle to take your worry away. It sounds nothing like the morose music Marillion coupled it with. Maybe that’s what made all the difference.
Tracks including “Credo”, “Big Wedge” and “State of Mind” are varied and of very high quality.  You might think you put on an unknown 80s Phil Collins single if you play “Big Wedge” unannounced.  Of the two new songs recorded for the album, “Chasing Miss Pretty” is the most enjoyable.  It’s simple silly light rock for the summer time.  Fish seems to have dropped the ball a little bit on the lyrics, but “Chasing Miss Pretty” is still far more poetic than anything Jon Bon Jovi has ever written.
First of all, I caught her reflection in the window of the pharmacy store, There I was locked up in my pick-up in the rush hour on the Delaware road. It must have been the scent of her perfume or the glimpse of that French lingerie, A product of my imagination, I blame it all on a hot summer’s day.
Unfortunately the other new song “Mr. Buttons” is forgettable musically and lyrically. Â A song about hackers and e-crime in 1998 is going to sound quaint in 2017.
The weight of Fish’s early career casts a large shadow on everything the man has done since. Â Vigil was a triumph in every way for the singer. Â The early songs generally outshine the later songs. Â You will find favourites in the later material, but the early stuff will probably keep you coming back for another listen. Â The new songs are a nice add-on, and the packaging makes it worth a go, especially if you don’t own any Fish. Â Proceed!
Quiet Riot took the unusual step of firing their only original member, lead singer Kevin DuBrow, in 1987. Â They soldiered on with new singer Paul Shortino and did a brief tour of Japan before calling it a day for the band. Â Meanwhile, Kevin DuBrow was supposed to working on a new band called Little Women.
In 1991, various media were reporting that Kevin DuBrow and Carlos Cavazo had gotten back together in 1991 as a new band called Heat.  It was a quiet reunion for the singer and guitarist who had been estranged since DuBrow’s firing in 1987.  Within two years of forming Heat, the band had morphed into a new version of Quiet Riot, now featuring former drummer Frankie Banali and newcomer Kenny Hillary (RIP).
Terrified features 3/4 of the classic Metal Health lineup with only Rudy Sarzo being absent. (He’d join again later on Alive and Well). Like a mighty ship changing course in heavy waters, Terrified is a monstrous Quiet Riot CD, anchored by Cavazo’s newly heavy guitar playing and Banali’s inimitable thunder. The drum production on this album could be the best on any Quiet Riot disc, and up there with Banali’s sound with bands such as W.A.S.P.
Lots of winners on the Terrified: “Cold Day In Hell” boasts an angry 90s groove, but with the melodic sensibilities of Metal Health-era QR. “Loaded Gun” almost sounds like a Metal Health outtake, because it has a throwback vibe. Their cover of “Itchycoo Park” is the only acoustic song, a much needed respite before re-entering the fray on the storming title track.  Only a few filler tracks (in a row) almost derail the album, but soon we’re back on track with “Rude, Crude Mood”. It may be one of the worst lyrics that DuBrow’s ever written but the music sure rocks. “Little Angel” is fast but forgettable, and before long you’re into “Resurrection”, a six-minute instrumental tour-de-force. Banali and Cavazo take the helm on it with a shuddering riff, and they don’t let go until it’s fade out. An awesome track.
Quiet Riot’s career can be divided up into a number of phases. Â In the 1970s, there was the Randy Rhoads era represented by two decent Japanese albums. Â This was followed by the the so-called “classic era” of major label releases (Metal Health to QR) from 1983-1988. Â Then there is the reunion era which runs from Terrified to Rehab (2006) and finally Kevin Dubrow’s death in 2007. Â As a coda, Frankie Banali resurrected the name with a variety of lead singers and continues to tour and record. Â Their last album was 2014’s 10 featuring lead singer Jizzy Pearl. Â Terrified would stand as the best album of the reunion era, which they sadly struggled to equal on later releases like Down to the Bone.
GETTING MORE TALEÂ #539: Been a long time since I been to Frankenmuth
Frankenmuth Michigan is a small Bavarian hamlet/tourist trap not too far from the Canada border. Â Some people love going; I seem to be one of the only dissenting voices. Â My best friend Peter introduced us to the Frankenmuth tradition. Â His family would typically go once a year, staying at the Bavarian Inn. Â The big draws to the town are two. Â One is the big “family style” chicken dinner at Zehnder’s, where the food just keeps coming. Â The other attraction is Bronner’s, an all-year-round Christmas store. Â Some in my family seemed absolutely thrilled to be buying our Christmas ornaments in April.
Frankenmuth seemed a long way to go for some chicken and Christmas ornaments.  However, it’s not too far for a shopping excursion focused on music, so that’s what I turned it into for me.  In the three years I went to Frankenmuth, I found plenty of goodies, and accumulated some entertaining memories.
My first year was 1992.  I had just finished writing all my final exams for my first year classes at Laurier.  The Freddie Mercury Tribute concert had just aired.  I taped the whole thing, and then recorded it to cassette (three 100 minute tapes).  I tossed that into the Walkman, and joined the family for our first US road trip together.
The Mercury concert was special.  Queen shared the stage with some luminaries as David Bowie (RIP), George Michael (RIP), Mick Ronson (RIP), and many more.  Vivian Campbell played live with Def Leppard for the first time.  Tony Iommi and James Hetfield shared the stage with Queen on “Stone Cold Crazy”.  Guns N’ Roses were there, and Axl got to sing with new friend Elton John.  The excitement in the air was genuine.  There was talk afterwards of someone charismatic, like George Michael or Gary Cherone joining Queen permanently so they could continue.
Our first road stop was a McDonalds in a small town just outside of Flint. Â The washroom stunk of piss so badly that my dad couldn’t even use it. Great first impression, Michigan!
When we got to the Bavarian Inn, I had the chance to watch MTV for the first time at length. Â After all I’d heard about it, I was disappointed to see it was not nearly as good as Canada’s MuchMusic. Â The American coverage of the Mercury concert (which was re-running all weekend) was truncated compared to what we saw in Canada. Â MuchMusic had Erica Ehm and others on site at Wembley interviewing the stars and covering behind-the-scenes, while the US coverage cut away to other things. Â The food at the Bavarian Inn was incredible, including what I remember to be the best omelette I’ve ever tasted.
I can’t say that I cared for the family style chicken dinner. Â “Family style” isn’t my thing (where everybody has the same dinner, all served together on big platters). Â If I’m eating out, I will rarely order chicken. Â Seemed like a big waste of a night out, to go and eat somewhere that serves chicken dinner just like you get at home. Â But I didn’t make these decisions, I just complained about them!
On the way home, we stopped at a Target store in Port Huron. Â My first Target store; I had never even heard of them before. Â This is where I made my first US music purchases. Â In stock was the cassette single for “Let’s Get Rocked” by Def Leppard. Â This featured the bonus track “Only After Dark”, a Mick Ronson track, who had just played at the Mercury concert! Â The other item I picked up was Slaughter’s new The Wild Life CD, which had a different cover than the ones I’d seen in Canada. Â It still appears to be the rarest version today.
The 1993 trip was even better, because this time Peter came with us. Â In 1993, Peter was the man with the plan. Â He was looking for something. Â Something very specific, that as of yet was not released in Canada. Â He had read about this new comedy tape called The Jerky Boys, and he was determined to find a copy. Â And find a copy he did.
We found The Jerky Boys at a record store just on the outskirts of Frankenmuth.  At the same store, I picked five tapes that I couldn’t get back home:  Savatage’s first albums Sirens (1983), The Dungeons are Calling (1985), Power of the Night (1986) and the brand new Edge of Thorns (1993).  There was also Richie Kotzen’s third album, Electric Joy. These fine records meant that the summer of 1993 was filled with sounds both heavy and complex.  The Kotzen album was a whole level beyond was I was used to listening to.  As for Savatage, they heavied up my tastes at a time when I was craving faster/heavier/louder.
I spent a lot of time absorbing each of these albums, but it was The Jerky Boys that dominated the car tape deck on that Frankenmuth trip.  Peter and I listened to the entire thing through.  Tarbash the Egyptian Magician, Sol Rosenberg and his glasses (he can’t see goddammit), and the whole gang had us laughing so hard, my sides actually hurt.  When the tape was done, we put it on repeat and played it again.  I’m not sure if my mom and dad enjoyed the Jerky Boys as much as I did.  I started calling people “sizzlechest” and responding to questions with “listen jerky, I don’t need to talk to you.”
What a summer.
This Frankenmuth trip was also my Karaoke debut. Â I chose “The Immigrant Song”. Â And I fucking killed it, in my opinion! Â Like Axl Rose gyrating on meth, I owned that stage. Â The heels of my cowboy boots stomped the boards, keeping their own beat. Â I asked my entire family to leave the room, but I lost my place in the song when I caught them spying around a corner.
On we sweep, with threshing oar, our only goal will be the western shore.
That was a fantastic trip.  Mission accomplished, with both the music shopping and the Jerky Boys acquisition.  On my third and final year going to Frankenmuth, Peter really upped his game.  Once again, the goal was to acquire something that we could not get in Canada.
Instead of travelling in one car, we did a convoy with two. Â Peter and I needed transportation of our own to run the missions we were planning.
As much as MTV did not impress me on my first US trip, our goal this time was dependant on MTV.
“Let’s rent a VCR and tape some episodes of Beavis and Butthead!” Â We didn’t get the show in Canada.
That is exactly what we did. Â We drove over to the local video store, and rented a VCR. Â You might think renting a VCR in a foreign country might be difficult, but it wasn’t. Â We hooked it up to the hotel TV (much easier than doing something like this today — more on that in a future instalment of Getting More Tale also involving Peter). Â Tuning up MTV, we watched some music before Beavis and Butthead was scheduled.
This time, MTV really pissed me off. Â They gleefully ran the embarrassing 1994 Motley Crue interview that the band infamously walked out of. Â But the band didn’t do themselves any favours in that interview. MTV baited them a bit with the questions, but they didn’t have to attack Vince Neil in their answers. “No one cares anyway,” said Nikki Sixx when asked about his former frontman. Pushed further, they were asked to comment on Vince’s recent jet-ski accident that put him in hospital with broken ribs. Laughing, Mick Mars asked “What happened to the coral reef?” Sixx answered, “Hey, when 300 pounds of blubber lands on a coral reef, there’s gonna be some dust flying around.”
The question that killed the interview was about “women, hairspray and fire.” MTV ran the segment complete with Nikki mocking the question, while showing images of women, hairspray and fire from their music videos. Stick in a fork in that lineup; it was done. Â No matter how good that 1994 Motley Crue album was (and is), that interview polished off the attempted comeback in one stroke.
We recorded a couple episodes of Beavis and Butthead and called it a night. Â The next day we did some music and comic book shopping. Â US exclusive once more: Â Quiet Riot’s reunion album Terrified found and liberated. Â I didn’t even know they had come out with anything new. Â A cassette single for “Heaven Help” by Lenny Kravitz also found its way home with me. I scored an oversized Black Sabbath comic (Rock-It Comics) and Transformers: Generation 2 #1 with the silver foil fold out cover.
With another successful trip in the books, we packed our bags and checked out. Â The last mission to run was returning the VCR to the video store. Â There was only one snag. Â We were primed and ready to head home early…and the video store opened at noon. Â We had to kill some hours driving around, but when that store opened we got the hell out of dodge. Â Not the greatest return trip ever, but at least we had Lenny Kravitz.
I stopped going to Frankenmuth after that trip, although Peter and his family returned yearly for some chicken and Christmas ornaments.  My family too.  My mom tells me of a memorable trip that ended in the hospital!  Four years ago my mother, father and sister made a trip where they did the usual; Frankenmuth chicken and the Christmas store. They also ate a lot of junk food; pizza, hot dogs, French fries and candy. On the way home they stopped along the 401 for more French fries. That night my mother ended up in the hospital with a gall bladder attack. It was serious enough that she had it removed two weeks later.  Thank goodness they were home when it happened as they never bothered with extra insurance for a short trip to the US.
As years went on, I ran into people all the time who had gone to Frankenmuth for a vacation.  Inevitably, they will always talk about three things:  the Bavarian Inn, the chicken dinners, and the Christmas store.  None of them seem to have any stories about cool comic books, or finding rare tapes and CDs in Frankenmuth.  Very few of them have done Karaoke, and none have performed “The Immigrant Song” at the Bavarian Inn.  Nobody rented a VCR to record Beavis and Butthead, and then have to wait hours for the store to open to return said VCR.  Nobody even discovered the Jerky Boys on their Michigan trips.
I guess that means that Peter and I are the only ones who did Frankenmuth right.
Happy new year to all! All over the world, to you music fans, connoisseurs, and various people with great taste in reading.
This is a new feature at mikeladano.com and I hope you have a chuckle with your morning coffee. Every Sunday I’ll share something funny or otherwise amusing that made me smile or raise an eyebrow. This week, a parcel arrived from the Royal Mail, rather late: precisely one month after it was ordered. Normally mail from England arrives rather quickly, but the explanation can be found in the picture below.
You see where it says “CANADA” in big letters? I know, I know. Because “Canada” is spelled so similarly to “Thailand”. They both have “an” in the name with a “d” somewhere.
No big deal; Marillion.com are always happy to replace lost items, they have done it for me before. I received the parcel unscathed…from England via Thailand. Would you like to know what’s inside?
Renatus means “rebirth”, but this is the first Dynazty album to have made its way over to LeBrain HQ. Â Being our first exposure to the band from Stockholm, what will their rebirth sound like? Â Power metal, heavy on the syncopated beats, accented by keyboards and melody. Â Like Savatage cranked up to about 15 without any restraint. Â The stuttering bass drum can be tiring after a while, as can the bipping and bopping keyboard accents. Â The vocalising and guitar solo breaks are absolutely highlights, bringing their sound back from the edge of overkill.
From “Cross the Line” over to “Starlight”, the speed does not let up.  It’s as if you took the fastest songs by Ronnie James Dio, injected them full of caffeine and watched them go.  (Throw in some early Queensryche, too.)  “Dawn of Your Creation” departs slightly from this trajectory but not without a purely-Yngwie lead guitar solo.  “The Northern End” is the first break in the storm, allowing the song to slow down enough for its power to impact.  This defiant anthem is an album highlight.  “Incarnation” too is a little different, bringing back the Savatage on steroids vibe.
There’s a natural spot for a side break right at “Run Amok” which restarts the engines going full speed. Â “Unholy Deterrent” might be the most aggressive of the tunes, like the front of the battle lines, stampeding everything in its way and rendering the land burned and scorched behind. Â Then, if there is music that backs up an army of Orcs marching out of Mordor, it should be “Sunrise in Hell”. Â The lines have formed and the charges are about to begin, and the beats continue to thunder below. Â “Salvation” provides the silver lining, a triumphant power rock tune. Â Closing on an ominously heavy note, “A Divine Comedy” completes the album without once letting up on the metal assault.
The album sounds technically flawless to the point of sterility, except when it comes to the vocals which have all the edge.  Not a bad album or even a bad sound, just too close to the edge of parody.  There is a very fine line between clever and stupid.  Fortunately Renatus never falls over the edge.  Within its powerful tracks you will find several favourites.  Best of all the album never overstays its welcome.  This is a point more bands need to pay attention to.  Less is often more, especially when you’re as relentlessly heavy as Renatus.
EXTREME – Waiting for the Punchline (1995 A&M)
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