#391: Nicknames II

A sequel to Part 230: Nicknames.

RECORD STORE TALES MkII: Getting More Tale
#391: Nicknames II

Every workplace has its nicknames. At my current job one of my nicknames is “Ernie” (as in Bert & Ernie, another guy is Bert). Another one is “Hermey” due to a perceived resemblance to one of Santa’s elves in Rudolph the Red Nosed Reindeer.  My most well known nickname is of course LeBrain, which originated on the radio.  I solved one of Craig Fee’s 4 O’clock 4-Play on Dave FM in record time.  Craig said, “Check out the brain on Mike Ladano! Mike ‘LeBrain’!”  The name stuck.

Here is a second selection of favourite nicknames from the Record Store days and beyond!

  • Goggles Pizano – Taken from an episode of The Flintstones, this name was given to the store owner when he got some new glasses.
  • Lynie-Lynie-Boing-Boing – A term of endearment I used for one of our store managers named Lyne.
  • Seven – A nickname given to me by Jen’s best friend Lara. There’s a whole story about this one, a painful story!*
  • Time Traveler – This odd fellow ordered some CDs, and left a business phone number to contact him at during the days. When called, he always answered “Time travel.” I don’t know what that business was, we never asked, so we just called him “Time Traveler”!
  • Scottish Man – A Scottish man who sold CDs.
  • Cow Man – A name given to Wiseman, by Joe Big Nose (another nickname!) due to his sideburns which apparently gave him a cow-like appearance.
  • Snake Face/Cobra Commander – Similar to above. A nickname given to a staff member because apparently his hair gave him a cobra-like cowl.
  • LeCock – I was dubbed with this name by a frustrated Dave FM listener who failed to guess a 4-O’clock 4-Play!  Burn!

LECOCK *Saving this for its own installment.

CO-REVIEW: Finntroll – “Häxbrygd” (2013 music video)

CO-REVIEW!  I am joined today by contributor THUSSY who introduced me to these crazy trolls from Finland.

FINNTROLL – “Häxbrygd” (2013 Century Media music video)

Thussy:  I’m an engineer and whenever I’m working from home I always need something to keep the wandering part of my mind busy so I can concentrate on whatever machine or structure I’m designing. What always works for me is listening to music and my choice (even though LeBrain can’t stand some of it) is hard rock and heavy metal. LeBrain apparently doesn’t like the heavy metal with as he puts it “cookie monster lyrics”. Now I will fully admit I am no expert on heavy metal. All my knowledge comes from SiriusXM Octane, but I always say it helps me work faster.

On this day, I was working away listening to some of my current favourite metal bands. I started with some In This Moment then moved onto Butcher Babies, Slipknot and then Avatar. A few songs into the Avatar set, Youtube switched to a different band.  As soon as they started singing I realized it wasn’t in English, so I looked at the video only to find the most awesome Finnish metal band that wears troll ears and has an accordion player in the band. This band is of course Finntroll and the song was “Häxbrygd”. I immediately sent a link to LeBrain for him to check out, and he wanted me to introduce him reviewing the video so I’ll pass this on to him.

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LeBrain:  He sent me this video, and a few cryptic bits of info such as, “For some reason they’re beating the crap out of a car.”  Cool.

I had never heard of Finntroll before.  Wikipedia tells me that they play elements of Black metal and Folk metal. Apparently they sing in Swedish and wear rubber troll ears that look and move very Yoda-like, while banging their head to menacing heavy metal. First of all, the Swedish: it doesn’t matter since you can’t understand the words. Second of all, the troll ears: brilliant!

My favourite member of the band is the creepy baby looking guy on accordion. Check that guy out. He absolutely rules, like a troll-baby version of Udo Dirkschneider. Runner up is the fat bare-chested devil drummer.

I don’t understand the words, but from the video, I think the song is about a bunch of troll guys who cut the roof of a car and then paint it up real nice, and then the devil guy hotwires it but the baby guy gets to drive.  In a Rob Zombie-esque ending, the troll guys all go for a psychedelic ride together in their newly customized automobile.  To where?  I don’t know!  I have no idea what the fuck this is about!

But the song is unexpectedly cool! To write this review I listened it song at least 20 times, and I like it.  That horn hook is incredibly catchy! “Häxbrygd” is like a more metallic version of Mr. Bungle. I have had “Häxbrygd” in my head all week.  I’m also appreciating the vocals more than I thought I would.  Instead of delivering melodic hooks, the vocal does it rhythmically.  Maybe I’m getting the gist of these “cookie monster” vocals after all.

Thussy and I easily came to agreement on a rating for this video.  Not only is the band and video hilarious, but the song is absolutely killer.

5/5 stars (score agreed by both)

REVIEW: Strong Bad Sings and Other Type Hits (2003)

STRONG BAD Sings and Other Type Hits (2003 Harmless Junk)

Strong Bad, the coolest guy in town, is best known for his boxing gloves, mask, and emails on the Homestar Runner website.  Don’t know who Strong Bad is?  Then you probably haven’t heard of Trogdor (the Burninator) either.  These characters are part of a cult hit series of cartoons, born online and still going today.

In the early 2000’s, somebody named “Kaizer” emailed Strong Bad to ask him to draw a dragon, so Strong Bad obliged. The animated short, titled “Dragon”, went up Monday, January 13, 2003 and soon went viral. I was immediately hooked, and even Buffy the Vampire Slayer referenced Trogdor. Strong Bad and the Homestar Runner capitalized on their fame, with spinoff clothes, figurines, Wii games, DVDs, and this CD album. The song “Trogdor” even appeared in the Guitar Hero video games!

When the CD was announced, the Brothers Chaps (creators of Strong Bad) had some of the most popular songs from their online cartoons professionally recorded. The original “Trogdor” song was a low-budget recording with only guitar; no band. The new “Trogdor” is a full-on metal assault! Bass, drums, and wheedling guitar solos galore!

Strong Bad, despite the CD title, does not sing every song. There are other tunes here sung by characters such as Homestar, Marzipan, Coach Z, and of course hair metal band extrordinaire, Limozeen. This CD is worth it just for the Limozeen track “Because, It’s Midnight”. You must trust me when I say that Limozeen is the best hair metal band to never exist. Strong Bad first mentioned them when advising fans that if they want to start a rock band, they should name it after something cool, and then misspell the name. (“Taranchula” was another band name he suggested, and they too have a metal song on this album.)

Anyway, Limozeen: “Because, It’s Midnite” is their best tune, with awesome lyrics. “Heart of lion, and the wings of a bat, because it’s midnite!” Gary, Larry, Perry and Mary are one hell of a fictional band that actually played a couple real live gigs due to demand! Their not-hit “Nite Mamas” also appears on this album, which evokes classic Guns N’ Roses.

This is for fans of the cartoon only! Everybody else will not have a clue what the heck “Strongbadia” is or why they have a national anthem. But if you’re a fan? You’ll be happy. You get the classic singalong “The Cheat is Not Dead”! And let’s not forget Strong Bad’s country classic, “Somebody Told Me (Now I Believe Them)”.

Somebody told me,
that you were so stupid,
but I didn’t believe them,
But now I believe them.

And let’s not forget his similarly-themed ballad, “You’ve Got an Ugly & Stupid Butt”.

Quite a few songs are filler, but they’re all pretty short and then it’s onto the next one.  What’s cool is the variety of styles lampooned.  TV themes, techno music, gospel, punk rock and hippie jams make up the balance of the tunes.  I think it’s just cool that fans of the cartoon could buy a CD with good songs and this much effort put into it.  The digipack outer cover is designed to look “cheap as free” but inside there’s a full colour illustrated booklet and a Limozeen sticker!

For fans, 4/5 stars! For everyone else, ?/5.

BOOK REVIEW: Eric Danville – The Official Heavy Metal Book of Lists

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ERIC DANVILLE The Official Heavy Metal Book of Lists (2009 Backbeat Books)

“Official”?  How the hell does anyone claim to publish an “official” heavy metal book of lists?  Maybe by getting Lemmy Kilmister to write your forward, perhaps?  That will do for a start.  Using the KISS font and putting a great illustration on your front cover always go a long way to looking “official”.  That “parental advisory” stamp in the corner is the final touch.

This book is tremendous fun.  I generally don’t go for “list” books.  Mrs. LeBrain bought this book for Christmas one year, because she thought it looked cool.  Always grateful, I gave it a shot.  You will always have your own favourites to add to any list, but this book isn’t really like that.

These lists are far more entertaining, interesting, and page-turning than “top 10” this or that.  For example:

  • The PMRC’s infamous “Filthy 15” songs and their ratings.

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  • 15 metal bands who got their name from J.R.R. Tolkien.  I for one didn’t know that Burzum was an Orcish word for “darkness”.  (And yes, Marillion is on this list.)
  • Oderus Urungus’ 10 sickest things to ever happen at a GWAR show.  A fan in excruciating pain because he got his hair caught in Beefcake the Mighty’s tuning pegs had to have it cut on stage.
  • 8 heavy metal songs the government has used to torture prisoners at Abu Ghraib and Guantanamo Bay.  “Enter Sandman”?  Really?  Do terrorists hate the Black album too?
  • 19 unlikely heavy metal pairings.  Unfortunately, I do remember when Lil’ Kim appeared on Tommy Lee’s first album by Methods of Mayhem.
  • 9 non-metal artists who do a song called “Heavy Metal”.  Miles Davis!
  • 12 people who found themselves on the business end of Sharon Osbourne.  Elton John tried to bed the same man as Sharon, so she drove to his house, shit on his driveway, and then smeared the shit all over Elton’s Rolls.

Then there are lists assembled by people that some may have heard of.  A porn director named Matt Zane lists 25 metalheads who were in porn movies.  Twiggy Ramirez is somebody I never want to see naked.  Then porn star Jasmin St. Claire lists 20 reasons that metal dudes and metal girls are so hot.  Sasha Grey lists her 16 favourite metal albums, and she has some heavy tastes (she loves Rollins).

The book is rounded out by fun caricatures by Cliff Mott. He makes it pretty easy to identify the rock stars he’s depicting.  Lemmy kind of looks like Lemmy no matter how you draw him.

5/5 stars

#390: The Open Door Piss Strikes Back

NO PISSING

RECORD STORE TALES MkII: Getting More Tale
#390: The Open Door Piss Strikes Back

I will never forget the night we invited a bunch of friends over to play Rock Band.  It is unlikely that any of our guests will have difficulty remembering either.  For the night of the Rock Band party was also the night of the return of the Open Door Piss.

It was a mixed crowd, a bunch of people who hadn’t met before.  It was one of the first parties we hosted as a married couple.  Jen invited a couple of her co-workers from RIM, I invited one of mine and his wife, and of course I had to ask the incredible Uncle Meat to attend.  Meat is quite a singer, you see, and my Rock Band crowd was short on singers.  I was the only other attendee who liked to sing.  My songs were “Painkiller” by Judas Priest, “Paranoid” by Sabbath, and generally any rockers I was comfortable with.

Uncle Meat’s speciality was the lead vocal on Rush songs: “Closer to the Heart, and “The Trees”.  That was fun for my buddy Chris, a fellow fan of Trailer Park Boys.  When Meat took on “The Trees”, I excitedly told Chris, “This is the song Ricky’s always complaining about…how trees talk to each other and how different parts of your brain work!”

We got a couple of beers into him, and Uncle Meat nailed “The Trees” note for note.  He did an excellent job, while one of Jen’s co-workers did a pretty good Neil Peart on the drums.  High-fives all around.

After putting 100% into his vocal performance, Meat excused himself.  “I have to piss,” he said.  “Where’s the washroom?”

Down the hall Meat went, just at one of those moments that happen in every party, when things quiet down.  Tired from rocking track after track, we all sat quietly talking in the living room, just when we heard the sound.

It was the old, familiar trickle of an open door piss.  Familiar to me maybe, but not someone like the wife of my co-worker!

“Is that…is he…” she muttered, and everyone stared in the stunned silence of simultaneous realization.

“He’s peeing with the door open?” someone asked, and I nodded to confirm!

Meat re-emerged to the now-silent living room.

“Hey Meat!  Did you have a good piss?” I asked.
“Huh?” he responded, wondering why I’d ask that question.

“We could hear everything!” I laughed, cracking up.  “You forgot to close the door, we heard every drop.”

“Oh!” said Meat sheepishly.  “Yeah.”

Laughter broke the tension, but I will never let Uncle Meat forget!

REVIEW: Deep Purple – Who Do We Think We Are (1973, 2000 remaster)

DEEP PURPLE – Who Do We Think We Are (1973, 2000 EMI)

Five solid years of work had taken their toll on Deep Purple.  Relations between the band members (particularly Gillan and Blackmore) were frayed, especially since all the touring behind Machine Head and Made in Japan.  There was all sorts of bad blood, including management disputes and illness (hepatitis for Ian Gillan).

The band settled in Rome with the Rolling (truck) Stones mobile studio, but found that the vehicle could not enter the premises, as the stone arch in the drive was not tall enough for the truck!  Several weeks of work in Rome resulted in only one usable track, “Woman From Tokyo” which was released as a single.  [See below for a cool 1998 CD reissue of “Woman From Tokyo” (2:56 edit)/”Super Trouper”!] Another song, the excellent “Painted Horse”, was rejected because Blackmore didn’t like it.  It wasn’t even released as a B-side.

A few months later the band re-convened in Frankfurt Germany to finish the new record.  Perhaps due to sheer fatigue, they settled into a simpler, bluesy sound without the experimentation that marked albums like In Rock and Fireball.  The only really progressive moment on the album was a breakneck synthesizer solo on “Rat Bat Blue”.

The resultant album, Who Do We Think We Are, is generally considered the weakest of the original MkII studio quadrilogy.  That still makes it better than many bands’ best albums.  That aside, it is obvious by listening to it that Deep Purple were not putting as much in, and getting less out.

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“Woman From Tokyo” is still a great Deep Purple track, very similar to the direction of Machine Head: straightforward, and slamming.  It has a mellow, dreamy bridge before it assails you once more with its inimitable guitar riff.

It’s too bad that a song like “Mary Long” hasn’t been a perennial concert favourite.  This scathing attack on two British social campaigners teases the prudish!  “When did you lose your virginity, Mary Long? When will you lose your stupidity, Mary Long?”  Glover’s bass groove carries the song, a real driving tune.  Absolutely monstrous in the car.

“Super Trouper”, less than three minutes long, feels incomplete.  It feels like it needed a chorus, although it is still heavy and a Purple sledge.  Closing Side One, “Smooth Dancer” is Ian Gillan’s underhanded attack upon Richie Blackmore.  Black suede was his favourite clothing:

Black suede, don’t mean you’re good for me
Black suede, just brings your mystery
I want to be inside of you
But you’re black and I don’t know what to do

You’re a smooth dancer
But it’s alright, ‘cos I’m a freelancer
And you can never break me though you try
To make me think you’re magical

Even though Ian’s not fond of Richie at this point, it’s important to hear the line “I want to be inside of you, but you’re black and I don’t know what to do.”  Ian would have loved to be able to connect with Richie, but was simply unable to get inside the man in black.  Glover too has stated that Ian was frustrated by his inability to connect personally with Richie.

WHO DO WE THINK WE ARE_0006“Rat Bat Blue” (named for Ian Paice’s drum pattern that is the foundation of the song) is a great unsung classic.  Funky and hard-hitting, “Rat Bat Blue” could have been a classic had it been released by a band that still wanted to be a band.  “Rat Bat Blue” is my favourite on the album!  (Note: the first time I bought the original CD at my own store, I ran into a manufacturing flaw – a moment of silence near the end where Ian sings, “Aaaaalright.”  The CD with the defect just has “Aaaaaa” and then a second of silence!  My boss would not let me exchange it.)

The final two songs (on a seven song record!) are both a bit slow.  “Place in Line” has some swinging jamming blues to it, and “Our Lady” has gospel flavors and an incredible organ solo.  Neither would be remembered as Deep Purple classics, although “Our Lady” is very special.  Notice there’s no guitar solo, either.  Jon does all the serious work.

The remastered edition has some cool bonus tracks.  There are several 1999 remixes, with Roger Glover assisting at the mixing console.  Like prior Deep Purple remixes, you can hear additional guitar and other bits that weren’t there before.  They are great companion pieces to the album tracks, particularly the smouldering “Rat Bat Blue”.  There are also two snippets from the writing sessions: an unheard bridge from “Woman From Tokyo” and a bit of a deleted intro from “Rat Bat Blue”.  An eleven-minute instrumental “first day jam” is interesting because it has no guitar.  Roger Glover was late to the session, so that’s Blackmore on bass!

Finally, the rare outtake “Painted Horse” is restored to CD.  You could get it previously on the posthumous Power House compilation CD, but once placed on the album, it’s clearly one of the best tunes.  Why it was disliked is beyond me.  Maybe it’s Ian’s falsetto vocal or harmonica.  I think they just serve to make the song more unique.  This remastered version sounds loads fuller than the one of Power House.  I also love Ian’s lyrics.  “Why did the carpenter die?”

For the geeks, I’m sure you will enjoy the fully loaded CD booklet, with another essay by Glover, remembering times good and bad.

I like Who Do We Think We Are enough for a solid rating, but I’m not sure it that accurately reflects how Deep Purple fans at large felt about it.  If Machine Head, Fireball and In Rock are all 5/5 stars, then Who Do We Think We Are can be justified at:

4/5 stars

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#389: LeBrain Trivia Facts!

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RECORD STORE TALES MkII: Getting More Tale
#389: LeBrain Trivia Facts!

Time to get to know your host here a little better. Here are 10 facts I bet you didn’t know about LeBrain.

1. I don’t wear a watch. I was sick of them always breaking, plus I don’t find them comfortable.  When I worked at the Record Store, I would take off my watch at the beginning of every shift and put it on again afterwards.

2. When I was really really young, I didn’t know the difference between a guitar and a bass, until somebody told me a bass only has four strings and therefore four tuning pegs. Until that time, I had assumed Michael Anthony was actually Eddie Van Halen, because he looked cooler to me!

3. My very earliest exposure to rock music was through a couple TV shows – The Flintstones, and the Hilarious House of Frightenstein!  Frightenstein featured a character called “The Wolfman”, based on Wolfman Jack…but a wolfman!  He would spin Rolling Stones and Kinks singles.

4. My first musical idol was John Williams. I loved his movie soundtracks and played them until they skipped.  Star Wars and Indiana Jones were awesome, but his best was the 2 LP set of The Empire Strikes Back, which was loaded with photos.

5. After John Williams came Johnny Cash, my very first concert at age 12.

6. I have been given a speeding ticket a total of three times over 24 years of clean driving.

7. I come from a musical family, but I can’t really play anything.

8. I make stop motion Transformers movies using my toy collection. I have never released any of them, even though I think I did better in one weekend with $0 than Michael Bay did in a year with a $Zillion dollars.

9. Much like everyone who grew up in the 1980’s, I owned Thriller by Michael Jackson and Born in the USA by Bruce Springsteen, on cassette.

10. My last name has been misspelled for about the last 100 years. Can you guess how it was originally spelled?

The two videos I chose for this post have a specific common element. Can you name it?

REVIEW: The Glorious Sons – The Union (2014)


TGS_0001THE GLORIOUS SONS – The Union (2014 Canada Factor)

Kingston Ontario is home to several great Canadian rock artists:  The Tragically Hip, Hugh Dillon and the Headstones, Sarah Harmer and Weeping Tile, and many more.  I dated a girl from Kingston about 15 years ago and guess what!  She was a musician.  (I even reviewed her CD for her back in the day!)  The place is a musical hotbed and The Glorious Sons are my latest favourite band to hail from there.

The Sons have been earning a lot of radio play thanks to four great singles.  The one that first gained my attention last year was “White Noise”.  The way the singer (Brett Emmons) enunciates caught my ear.  He has a unique sort of drawl to accompany his powerful rasp.  The first two things that initially catch me about a band are usually the singer first and the song second.  Turns out the Glorious Sons have both on “White Noise”; a brilliant track with a dark celebratory vibe.  It sure sounds Canadian to me:  guitars, bass, drums, singer, song.  There’s a certain type of “Canadian Rawk” that the Glorious Sons inhabit a corner of, and I don’t mind at all.

“Lightning” is the current single I’m hearing on the airwaves.  It is a spiritual companion to “White Noise”.  It has a slow burn to it, and a killer vocal performance by Emmons.  Four of the five Sons are credited to backing vocals, and “Lightning” has those “ahh ahh’s” that help bump a chorus into the stratosphere.  For a harder rocking single, check out “Heavy”.  Better get your boots on because this one will get your ass swaying.  The fourth strong single I’ve been hearing is the southern flavoured “Mama”.  Sounding something like an undiscovered Skynyrd track via the Black Crowes’ By Your Side, it’s plenty fun and gets the hips movin’.

Thankfully, The Union is more than just a few good songs on the radio.  This is evident on the slow-building opener “Man Made Man” which sounds like good old 1980’s hard rock!  Once again the band cover the backing vocals, keeping everything sweet enough for hit potential.  “Hard Times” is another hard rock standout.  The cool thing about the Glorious Sons is that not only could they be very big now, but they could have been very big in 1989!  This kind of celebratory rock would have been right up my younger-self’s alley. “The Contender” covers the badass rock vibe, and what could be more Canadian than a song called “Gordie”? “I wanna be like Gord Downie!” sings Emmons, name-checking his home town hero on this campfire rock track. “The Union”, “Lover Under Fire” and “Amigo” round out the album, a strong collection of songs overall.  All these songs share strong hooks, great singing and a soulful rock sound.  “Amigo” is a nice mellow piano track to close the album.  Not a poor song in the bunch.

I’m very happy with my purchase of The Union by The Glorious Sons, an up and coming band for sure.  And for $12 on Amazon, the price sure was right!

4/5 stars

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#388: Air Drums

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RECORD STORE TALES MkII: Getting More Tale
#388: Air Drums

Last week I was driving to work, travelling down King St, flash drive in mp3 player, filling the car with Roky Erickson and the Aliens.  I consider myself a safe and aware driver (so does my driving record), and I’m always paying attention to what’s around me.  I caught a glimpse in the rearview mirror of a guy who looked familiar, so at the next red lights, I checked to see if he was my friend Kyle.

No, it wasn’t Kyle…but what I saw was a guy who, in an alternate reality, may have been my soul mate.

There he was in the front seat of his blue Hyundai, so filthy that it initially appeared black, air drumming up a storm!

I couldn’t stop staring for the duration of that red light.  He was laying the beat down!  He was playing some big fills.  I imagined he might have been rocking out to Rush.  He was also clearly singing lead vocals as he drummed.  His cymbal work was quite good, superior to mine in fact. I admired his technique for a while, before the light turned green.

The gentleman turned off on the westboard 401, while I headed east.  I wondered who he was, and if we may have been friends in another lifetime.

I sure have some work to do on my air drumming to get up to his level!

REVIEW: Trapeze – You Are the Music…We’re Just the Band (1972)

TRAPEZE_0001TRAPEZE – You Are the Music…We’re Just the Band (1972 Threshold)

Trapeze in ’72 was:

  • Glenn Hughes (future Deep Purple) – bass & vocals
  • Mel Galley (future Whitesnake) – guitar
  • Dave Holland (future Judas Priest) – drums

Due to the fame that this trio found fame separately elsewhere, Trapeze will be on interest to fans of classic British 70’s rock. Trapeze are a funky soul rock band — picture some of the funkier moments that Deep Purple were into when Tommy Bolin was in the band, and you are in the general ballpark.  The very first track “Keepin’ Time” easily could have been on Purple’s Come Taste the Band.  Not only is a high quality funk-rock song, but Mel Galley has some serious chops going on!


Personal highlights on this CD for me are the ferocious funk of “Way Back To The Bone”, the soul of “What Is a Woman’s Role”, and the solid rock of “Feelin’ So Much Better Now”. I also need to single out the track “Loser” as a great little lost funk rock gem. One thing is clear to anyone upon first listen: These guys could PLAY. Particularly with Holland and Galley, what they did later really was only the tip of the iceberg that is Trapeze. Hughes is in fabulous voice, at the very peak of his vocal powers, and this is essential listening for fans of the man that the Japanese call “The God of Voice”.

3.5/5 stars. A pleasantly perfect example of great 70’s soul/funk/rock!