REVIEW: Mr. Big – Ten (2024 Canadian CD version)

MR. BIG – Ten (2024 Frontiers)

Pat Torpey was such an important part of Mr. Big.  Drumming, singing, writing: Pat did it all, and that’s why Mr. Big have found him so difficult to replace.  His death from Parkinson’s disease was shattering to the band.  They carried on with Matt Starr for a while, but they needed someone who could sing.  Enter:  Nick D’Virgilio from Spock’s Beard.  Not just a legendary progressive rock drummer, but also a singer in his own right, Nick was an unexpected but appropriate choice for Mr. Big to record their final (?) album Ten.

Though some fans seem unwilling to allow bands to age and change, Mr. Big has done so without missing a beat.  Sure, Eric Martin doesn’t sound 28 years old anymore (because he’s 63), but there is nothing wrong with his voice here.  Just a little rasp, and a little less range.  He has aged better than most 63 year olds you can name in the rock biz.  He is still top notch, first class, and also a key songwriter here, along with Paul Gilbert and Andre Pessis.  Absent from the credits is Billy Sheehan.  That might explain why this album is less bass-y.  Even so, in 2024 Mr. Big have come up with one of their best albums, up there with Hey Man.

The Gilbert-penned first track “Good Luck Trying” has a definite “Manic Depression” vibe.  It’s a blues-rock classic, authentically rocking as if it came from another decade.  It’s like a time machine, and the Hendrix inspiration is undeniable.  A solid start.

Much like Hey Man and “Take Cover”, the best track is the second one.  “I Am You” will be in your head for days.  There’s a subtle acoustic guitar part, which is something of a recurring feature on this album.  “I Am You” boasts a powerful chorus, but with an anthemic meloncholy vibe.  Too bad a lyric sheet is not included, as this one has cool soul-baring words.  Everything about this song is perfect, from impassioned vocals to mighty chorus.  Sometimes it’s worth buying an album for one song.  This is one of those songs, no hyperbole.  It’s just a little different for this band, but it’s also a total pop rock anthem, and one of best Big songs in years.

We get a Zeppelin vibe on “Right Outta Here”, with bluesy verses and exotic choruses.  Anytime you hear chords that we might refer to as “exotic”, Zeppelin comes to mind.  Expect those Middle Eastern melodies on the guitar, and more acoustic backing.  Nick doesn’t necessarily play like John Bonham, but there are the odd big hits that recall him.

In a fun twist, “Sunday Morning Kinda Girl” contains the lyric “big finish”, the name of their current tour.  This song has a hard rock vibe mixed with 60s melodic sensibility.  Definite Beatles vibes in the melodies, though the song is far harder than the Fab Four.  Their green-tinted sixties minds must have been in tune for this song.  Again, acoustic guitars can be heard in the background, but check out Paul’s very Queen-like guitar solo.

There are a few ballads on Ten.  Ballads have been a thing with Mr. Big since the first album, but obviously “To Be With You” made them far more important.  “Who We Are” is an electric ballad, with a bluesy style.  Not as memorable as some past Big ballads, but a good song regardless.  Great chorus here, and superb drum fills.

“As Good As It Gets” is uptempo acoustic/electric fun.  Like “I Am You”, very different for this band and an easy album highlight.  Once again, the drum work and fills here are stunning.  It’s almost Rush-like.  Paul brings in a very sweet guitar melody, with layers of guitar tracks thickening up the soup.  This song also has one of the few Billy Sheehan bass solos on the album.

The boogie of “What Were You Thinking” has some wicked slide guitar by Paul Gilbert, housed within an uptempo rocker.  Maybe the fastest tune on the album, but it’s not to be compared to old Big like “Addicted to that Rush”.  This is just rock and roll.  The lyrics reference Star Trek with “phasers on stun”, and you just have to love that.  Another possible album highlight.

If there is a weak link, it’s “Courageous”.  It’s a mid-tempo song, but not a ballad.  It has some wonderful guitar, but doesn’t move the Earth.  What does shake the Earth is the opening drum beat on “Up On You”.  A hard rock party rocker, this features the return of the slide!  Just because it’s a hard rock song with slide guitar, there is a slight Motley vibe (circa Dr. Feelgood), but only slight.  Some boogie piano also helps keep things moving, but this is the most 80s rocker on the album.

Closing an album (sort of) with another ballad is daring.  Yet “The Frame” is the softest of them, and a totally appropriate closer.  It’s not “To Be With You”; there is no campfire rock on this album.  There is plenty of music with an emotional weight, and “The Frame” has that and more.  It takes a few listens to sink in, but it’s not really goodbye.  There is a bonus track on all versions of the album.

Some countries got an instrumental track (to be reviewed later), but the bonus track in Canada is different from the one in the US and Japan.  Here we get a blues cover, “8 Days on the Road”.  Easily another album highlight, with someone else (Paul Gilbert?) singing lead on a bluesy drawl.  Brilliant track and playing.  Talk about going out with a bang!  If this really is the end, then “8 Days on the Road” is a brilliant capstone.  It showcases the kind of playing that Mr. Big built their reputation on.

Though Mr. Big albums have been spotty through their career, Ten is among the better records.  It may go down with albums such as Hey Man as a cult classic.

4.5/5 stars

 

Tim’s Vinyl Confessions: Ep. 548: Mr. Big (Ten review) [VIDEO]

Today on Tim’s Vinyl Confessions, we deep dive into the new (final?) Mr. Big album called Ten.  Shockingly, it’s their tenth studio album.  I know, right?  It’s also a few firsts:  the first album with no songwriting from bassist Billy Sheehan, and debut Mr. Big album for new drummer Nick D’Virgilio.  It has been eight long years since their last album, Defying Gravity, which wasn’t bad at all.  Did they top it?  Did they go out on a good note?

My written review will go up tomorrow.

REVIEW: KK’s Priest – Sermons of the Sinner (2021)

KK’S PRIEST – Sermons of the Sinner (2021 EX1 Records)

You can hear from the sound of this album, KK Downing is pissed off.  He wants to prove himself.  He wants to out-Priest Judas Priest.  To that end, he’s recruited former Priest singer Tim “Ripper” Owens for this metal feast, with the emphasis on “metal”.  Everything about this album is about competing with Judas Priest, from getting their younger singer, to initially recruiting Les Binks on drums (replaced by Sean Elg), to song titles, and musical throwbacks.  The end result verges on the territory of “heavy metal bullshit”:  music contrived to sound a certain way, evoking a certain image from a certain time, resulting in generic songs.

Right from the opening “Incarnation”, KK is doing those noisy guitar roars from Priest’s “Sinner”, his trademark solo.  Then we get Elg doing similar double bass work as Scott Travis, and Ripper Owens with a big Priestly scream.  Enter:  “Hellfire Thunderbolt”!  To his credit, Ripper is singing more to the Priest vibe here than he did on either of his actual Judas Priest albums.  “Hellfire Thunderbolt” is equivalent to much of Priest’s current catalogue, and it sure is nice hearing KK wail.  We did miss KK’s sound, no matter how good his replacement is.  It’s not just a single guitar band, with AJ Mills joining KK in a dual solo.  “Hellfire Thunderbolt” is a pretty good, very Priest-like song (right now to the thunder-cracks, very similar to Ram It Down) though not as memorable.

The title track “Sermons of the Sinner” has a title that recalls KK’s signature song, and opens with an impressive drum flurry and a really good riff.  Ripper takes the screaming to the nth degree, and the guitars absolutely shred.  Unfortunately the song is a little faceless, with the focus on speed and not much else.  There’s a great middle section where things slow down, allowing the guitar melody to breathe, but it’s over quickly and then we’re back into a chaotic metal hailstorm, shards of steel hitting your ears in unpleasant ways.

“Sacerdote y Diablo” keeps the pedal to the metal, but does not satisfy the craving for memorable riffing or hooks.  KK’s soloing is starting to sound like razorblades, as he just keeps going for it, and going for it, proving he’s more “metal” than Priest, or something.  “Raise Your Fists” is more like it.  Mid-tempo with melodies you can sing along to, bringing some needed variety to the album.  It’s not a classic, but it could be given time and reception.  Some of the guitar melodies are almost Maiden-y.  The lyrics are just an ode to the experience of a heavy metal concert, a tired concept.  “Brothers of the Road” is another good tune, this time with more groove and chug.  This album is better when KK allows variety to creep into the songwriting.  “Brothers of the Road” isn’t packed to the gills with hooks, but it’s definitely an album highlight.  As great as Ripper is at screaming, this allows him to sing more melodically.

Though the music that opens “Metal Through and Through” is delicate and cool, the title is tiresome.  Perhaps Rob Halford wrote too many epics about metal over the years, and this is just a redundant theme now.  Lyrically, it’s KK paying tribute to the fans, and frankly, to himself.  “And our legacy will prevail”.  Unfortunately the song sounds like a bunch is disjointed bits mashed together, including one that sounds like Accept.  It’s an attempt at an epic, short of the mark by a fair margin.  Considering that all songs are solely credited to KK, this is where we start to really miss the songwriting input of Glenn and Rob.  An unnecessary eight minutes, with an out-of-place fade-out.

“Wild and Free” is back to breakneck.  “We’re rule breakers! We’re hell raisers!” announces Ripper.  Great for headbanging or driving real fast, with some rhythmic recollections back to “Freewheel Burning” right before the chorus.  Intentional?  Probably.  “Freewheel” is a far better song, and there are times when Ripper’s vocals get to be a bit much.

“Hail For the Priest” (this is getting tiresome) opens with a melody aped from “Sign of the Cross” by Iron Maiden.  Though almost certainly a coincidence, the similarity is unmistakable.  Some of  Halfords lyrics are cribbed (“terrifying scream” from “Painkiller”), but once the riff kicks in, we’re off the races.  Nice bass work here from Tony Newton.  The drum pattern is a little less busy, and leaves a little bit of space on the verses.  These factors help make it one of the better songs on the album.

The final track is nine minutes of metal “Return of the Sentinel”.  How do you out-do Priest?  Write the sequel to one of their best tunes, I suppose.  There are references to “Tyrants” and appropriate musical recollections directly lifted from the original “Sentinel”.  Some cool dual guitar work ensues, and an acoustic guitar break brings texture.  Unfortunately there is no proper ending, just a fade out that leaves it feeling unfinished.  Still a pretty good song, though like many sequels, it is more more indulgent, yet still a shadow of the original…and unnecessary.

On his debut, KK stakes out his territory, claiming his slice of the pie.   It is a strong and bold statement, but without the songwriting that we have grown to expect from this heavy metal pioneer.

3/5 stars

The Adventures of Tee Bone Man: Tee Bone and Ripper the Squirrel Return to Camp

Every super hero needs a vacation!  This story takes place just before Tee Bone Man’s 2023 New Year’s Eve concert, and before his first encounter with the revenge-bound Dr. K.  Cast your minds back to 2023…

THE ADVENTURES OF TEE BONE MAN
PHASE TWO: THE MULTIVERSE SAGA

Chapter Twenty-Five (flashback): Tee Bone and Ripper the Squirrel Return to Camp

It was before dawn at Deke’s Palace when the snow began to fall.   Silently, without making a creak or the sound of a single step, Tee Bone Man made his way out the front door.  Upon his shoulder sat a small black shape, quivering in fur, taking quick shallow breaths of the cold air.  Tee quietly closed the door and locked it behind him.  He stepped towards his car, already warmed up, and unlocked the doors.  The little black shape on his shoulder jumped down onto the passenger seat as he stepped in, revealing himself to be Ripper the Squirrel.

“That’s right buddy, road trip time,” said Tee to the small animal.  He had been getting better at learning how to speak Squirrel.  He had to!  With Moustachio lost in the multiverse and Edie Van Heelin’ gone forever, he and Deke were on their own so to speak.  Sure, they had their friends the Northern Lights by their sides, but they couldn’t speak Squirrel either (although Max the Axe claimed he had a VHS instructional tape).

Ripper squee’d some more from the passenger seat.  While Tee Bone couldn’t understand every squeak and chipper, he could get the jist.

“Road trip time buddy,” he said as he put on his seatbelt.  “We both need a break, I think.  And you get to pick the tunes!”

Ripper made some sounds that Tee Bone interpreted as a question as to their destination.

“It’s a surprise.  You’ll see.  Pick a song!”

Ripper looked at the dash controls.  His little paws began making selections.  Tee Bone watched him go from folder to folder.  He scrolled down the “I” artists, stopping on Iron Maiden.  He then scrolled the albums all the way to the end and picked Virtual IX.  Track one, “Futureal”.

“I knew it.  Blaze Bayley.  You miss Moustachio, don’t you?”  The squirrel nodded yes.

“I get it,” answered Tee with sympathy.  “This weekend we can forget all our problems for a couple days.  You’re going to love it.”

Tee Bone hit the gas and backed down the snowy drive.  The Maiden album blasted forth.

“I’m running out of my time, I’m running out of breath,And now it’s getting so I can’t sleep at night,In the day, feel like death!”

“That’s a little on the nose,” said Tee as they arrived at the road, and made their way north.  “This’ll be a good vacation, this time,” he assured Ripper.

The two settled in as the sun slowly made its way onto the horizon, and sprayed a fan of red across the snowy climbs of rural Thunder Bay.  There was not a single pair of eyes in the world that saw them as they made their way north.

A few hours and one Tim Horton’s stop later, Tee Bone and Ripper had arrived at Camp.  The little squirrel leaped into the snow in utter glee.  This was his original home!

“SQUEE SQUEE!” he declared, as he took his first pee on his home turf in ages.  Tee chuckled, shook his head, and swept the snow off the front porch before unlocking the door.  The door opened with the tinkle of breaking icicles.  He motioned his head.

“Come on buddy!  Yes, you can come in this time!  It’s perfectly safe.”

Like a dart, Ripper ran into the cabin.  Tee Bone and Ripper have returned to Camp!

Suddenly, Ripper stopped on a dime.  He skidded across the wooden floor.  Something was not right.  He sniffed the air.  What was it?  It wasn’t cabbage…it was more pungent.  It was…cheesy.  Like Parmesan…

“What’s wrong, buddy?”  Tee Bone flicked on the lights, only to see the answer before him.

In the big armchair across the main room, he sat.  Sunglasses perched upon his nose in perfect balance.  A Tilly hat, slightly askew, hiding a receding hairline and a long, blonde ponytail.  A teal doubleneck bass, perched next to the armchair.  A smug look.  It could only be one person.

“Common Knowledge…” gasped Tee Bone.  Ripper cowered behind his right leg, quivering slightly at the mention of the unmentionable.

“Good morning, Tee Bone Man.  Would you like some soup?  I’ve waited on a line of greens and blues, Tee Bone.”  The bassist smirked.  “Lock the door behind you.”  He picked up his bass, strummed a note, and the sonic boom actually slammed the door shut.

“What are you doing here, Common Knowledge?” sighed Tee Bone.  “We’re on vacation.”

With a flourish, Common Knowledge removed his sunglasses.

“What am I doing here?” he sneered.

“Yes, that’s what I asked!  What are you doing here?” said an exasperated Tee Bone.  Ripper stomped a paw on the floor to make a point.

“What am I doing here!!?” he returned again, placing the glasses back on his face.

“Are you trying to wind me up?” shouted Tee Bone.

Common Knowledge pulled a crinkled piece of paper from his pocket.  “Do you have full moon fever!?  Read this!”  He handed the paper over.  Cautiously, Tee Bone took it and removed his glasses to read.

“‘Hey, going to Camp for a few days, you are welcome to come, signed Tee Bone Man.'”  Tee Bone paused and scratched his head.   “I sent this email to Deke!” he said.

“And me!” protested Common Knowledge.

“Oh…shit…” confirmed Tee as he squinted at the recipients of the email.  “Man, I gotta take you out of my contacts list.”

He dropped his bag on the floor in surrender.  He looked down at Ripper and whispered a silent apology.

“You can stay in the guest room,” he sighed.  Common Knowledge leaped in glee.

“Hooray!  I just wanted to be with you guys!  You’re always copying me on emails, and then telling me I’m not invited.  It hurts, you know.  I may be a supervillain and I may have tried to kill you once or twice, but I do have feelings you know.”  Behind his sunglasses, his eyes were watery and red from the tears of constant rejection.  Then, he got up from his chair and ran over to hug Tee Bone.  Tee Bone backed up in instant ickiness.

“OK, OK, that’s fine, OK,” as he pushed the bassist off.  “Now go put your bass in the guest room.”

Common Knowledge twinkled in glee as he ran off with bass towards the guest room.

“I am so sorry, dude,” he sighed down to Ripper.  Ripper climbed up his leg and onto his shoulder.  “We’ll make the best of it.  Maybe he’s just lonely, like you.  Maybe Common Knowledge doesn’t really have any friends.”

Ripper shrugged.  Oh well.  They would indeed make the best of it.

Later that day, Tee Bone and Ripper were out in the snow, collecting wood for a fire.  Tee carried a large bundle of logs while Ripper was hustling with some twigs for starting the blaze.  Common Knowledge stood by and watched.

“What do you want me to do?” he called from the sidelines.

“Well, you’re always talking about cooking, right?” shouted Tee.  “Why don’t you start prepping the hot dogs?”

“Hot dogs!?” protested Common Knowledge, his nose all but in the clouds.  “I’m not eating hot dogs!”

“Then feel free to go hunt some lunch for yourself, because we’re having hot dogs.”  Common Knowledge stared on in disbelief.  Tee Bone shrugged.  “Listen, you partake in a batch of Tee Bone’s Gourmet Hot Dogs with us, or you can make like Ted Nugent and go catch a rabbit to eat.  Up to you.”  He continued carrying wood back to the fire spot.  Common Knowledge sighed and started walking off into the woods.

“I’ll be back!” he shouted over his shoulder.  “Keep the fire going!”

“10-4, buddy,” said Tee Bone in return.   He watched Common Knowledge disappear into the trees.  He then whispered to Ripper.  “Whew…I can’t believe that worked!”  Ripper nodded in equivalent disbelief.

“I wasn’t too mean, was I?” asked Tee Bone with a twinge of his conscience.  Ripper shook his head in an emphatic “no”.

“Trust me on these hot dogs, my friend!” he enthused.  “All the fixings, and locally farmed meat.  The best that Thunder Bay has to offer.  I also brought a batch of my signature Tee Bone Man brand chili if you like chili dogs.”  Ripper didn’t know.  He was still adjusting his palette to people-food.  Sounded good though.

The two continued to gather wood for the feast, while Common Knowledge wandered through the dense foliage.

The bassist was dressed all in white, which was fortunate, he reasoned, since it would act as winter camouflage.  The tassels on his platform boots gathered snow as he made deep footprints.  He huffed and he puffed, as the snow got deeper.

“Just like back home in Buffalo!” he gasped as he trudged through.  “No…whew…no problem at all!”  Each step took him deeper until he reached a point where he could go no further.  How do you catch a rabbit anyway?

Common Knowledge turned himself around, and started wandering in another direction.

“Here, rabbit rabbit rabbit!” he called.  His voice was deadened by the snow and trees, with no echo.

Back at Camp, Tee Bone and Ripper had a roaring fire going.  The flames licked the falling snow in a beautiful dance of yin and yang.

“And how is your hot dog, good sir?” asked Tee in a faux-accent, sipping a beer from a wine glass in mock-upper-class beau monde.

Ripper nibbled away at a dog covered in diced tomatoes, caramelized onions, paprika and plain old Heinz ketchup.  He squee’d in delight.

“Excellent sir, cheerio!” cheered Tee Bone.  The two laughed together in camaraderie and shared experience.  Who would have thought these two were once mortal enemies?  In this very spot a couple summers ago, Tee Bone had tried to kill the little creature.  Mind you, Ripper would have had it coming, but even in his crazed state, Tee Bone still had mercy in his heart.  Instead of killing the beast, he launched him in a rocket to Australia.  It was there that Ripper was tamed by the kind Australian superhero known as Moustachio.  And now, Ripper was back home where his adventures all began.  It was like poetry; it rhymed.

Tee Bone smiled to himself at the warm fireside.  Here he was in his happy place, away from the superhero thing, with one of his best friends.  Ripper had turned out to be a blessing.  More than a pet, more than an ally, Ripper had proven himself indispensable in the face of worsening odds.  As their enemies multiplied, Tee Bone needed Ripper at his side more than ever.

Drat, his mind was drifting back to “work”, to the superhero gig.  “Be mindful of the now,” he whispered to himself as he focused on the crackle of the fire.  He took a deeper sip of his beer and felt the warmth in his belly.  Those were some great hot dogs.  The chili was magnificent.  His best batch to date?  Possibly.  His thoughts then drifted to the after-meal tradition:  dessert.  He thought to try something new this time, a French Canadian tradition:  maple taffy.  Pouring maple syrup onto freshly gathered pure white snow was a treat he’d never tried before, but this seemed the perfect day to enjoy a new dessert.

“Too bad Deke isn’t here,” said Tee Bone to Ripper.  “Although him and Common Knowledge, that would be awkward.  Then again…where is that guy?  How long have we been sitting here?”  Ripper shrugged.  Tee Bone observed the shadows the trees made in the snow and reasoned it had been two hours, at least, since they last saw the bassist.  Both Tee and Ripper had excellent hearing — one powered by nuclear Scotch and one by natural ability.  They attuned their ears to the forest around them.

Nothing.

“Think he’s OK?” asked the human of the squirrel.

Ripper sniffed the air but had no answer.

“I’m sure he’s OK.  How much trouble could he get into out there?”

Common Knowledge had gotten himself into a lot of trouble.

Chasing a rabbit through the snow, Common Knowledge hit a patch of ice in clearing.  He skated across the ice in his silly platform boots, the tassels now caked in ice so thick that they tinkled like bells at his feet.  He slipped and skidded, but managed to come to a carefully balanced stop, in the middle of the icy clearing.

“I wonder why there’s so much ice in this clearing?” he wondered aloud.  He observed his surroundings and looked beneath him.  Instead of a pure white surface, he realized he was standing over a frozen pond.

“I’m on the road to ruin!” he bellowed as the ice cracked.  Cautiously and light as he could, he took a single step.  The ice cracked further under his platform heel, but he remained standing.  “OK!  You can do this Billy, you can do this!” he gasped to himself.  “Never say never!  You can do this!”  He took a second step, and a spiderweb of cracks formed immediately under his heel.  He took a deep breath and gathered his balance.  He had slid far over the pond, and safe ground was still several meters away.

“No way out, no alibis, I’ve tried my best, but I don’t understand!” he cried.  The forest answered back in silence.

Third step, and this time the ice cracked like thunder.  The bassist slipped swiftly into the black, ice cold water.  He panicked, and began thrashing in the murk.  His platform boots only hindered him as he floundered.  He gasped for breath as his Tilly hat floated away across the broken surface.  He tried calling for help, but could barely breathe, let alone scream.  “Help!  He…”  He gurgled as he went under.

By the time Tee Bone Man and Ripper had arrived, the bassist was blue in the face and not breathing.  They had hauled his soaking wet body out of the water, and now Tee Bone had to do something he never thought he would ever have to do.  It was not something he wanted to do.  It was duty, and only he could do it.  Ripper did not have the body strength.  He kneeled on the ground, made five compressions on the bassist’s chest…and then began to blow life-saving breaths through the bassist’s wet, cold lips.

Ripper looked away.  “Ew,” he squee’d in Squirrelese.

Common Knowledge sprang back to life in a sudden gasp!

“Tee Bone Man!  You…saved me!”

Tee Bone sat silent a moment and just responded, “…Yep.”

“I…I can’t thank you enough!” cried the bassist, going in for a hug.  Tee Bone backed off.

“Easy there pal, you’re dripping wet, let’s get you back to Camp where you can dry off.”

“Thank you Tee Bone Man…but I’m too weak to walk,” complained the bassist.

“I’ll…I’ll fly you there…just…ugh…here come on, put your arms around me.  Yeah…like that…hold tight.”  Tee Bone Man struggled to keep his hot dogs and beer in his stomach as Common Knowledge grasped his body.  He sighed.  Sometimes it sucked being the good guy.  Ripper had a firm grip on Tee Bone’s shoulders and they were ready to go.  “All right…blast off…” sighed Tee Bone with zero enthusiasm.

Common Knowledge was wearing a pair of Tee Bone’s pants and a jacket that belonged to Superdekes.  He warmed his hands by the fire, savouring every moment of it.  He then grabbed a scoop of maple taffy made with fresh snow and local syrup.

“Thank you for introducing me to this delicious treat, Troy!” he screamed in delight.

“Please…call me Tee Bone Man,” deadpanned the superhero.  Common Knowledge looked a little hurt, but his pain was soothed by cold maple syrup and Canadian snow.

Tee Bone’s phone rang.  He answered.  It was a video call.  From Superdekes.

“Hey pal,” said Tee as he answered.  “What’s up?”

“Hey buddy,” smiled Deke on the other end.  “Just checking in, making sure you guys got settled in at Camp alright.  Looks like you’re having a good time, sorry I got tied up here.”  Deke pointed at a desk full of paperwork behind him.  “Month end, you know.  If you want me to, I could probably be there tomorrow morning…”

Tee Bone cut him off.  “Noooo…no don’t think that’s a good idea, Deke.  Sorry.  Ummm.  Long story, but, umm…”  Tee Bone switched his phone to the front camera.  “…as you can see we have company this weekend.”  Common Knowledge looked up from his maple taffy and waved at the camera.

“Is that…is he…THAT guy of all people…is wearing my favourite Camp jacket?  The one with the hood?”

Common Knowledge flipped the hood up over his head and smiled.  His ponytail hung off to the side as he took another bite of taffy.

“Yeah…no…I’ll pass, thanks Tee Bone.”  Deke shook his head.  “See ya Monday I guess!”

“See you Monday,” sighed Tee Bone as he switched the camera back.  Ripper waved goodbye.

“This is the best vacation ever!” screamed Common Knowledge in the throes of a sugar high.  “I’m never going home!”

“Hooboy,” said Tee Bone Man with his head in his hands.  Ripper mimicked him with his paws.

“That’s a superhero’s life,” he reasoned to the squirrel.  “It’s the price, the price, price, the price you gotta pay.”

Common Knowledge produced an acoustic bass and strummed a note.  “I can’t thank you guys enough.  This is a hit song I had 33 years ago called ‘To Be With You'”.

“Oh no,” moaned Tee Bone Man.  His face sunk sullenly as he poured himself a large glass of Scotch.  “I’m gonna need this,” he said as he served himself a dram.  Common Knowledge strummed and sang at the fire, serenading the pair with his only real hit, as his captive audience wished they could simply suffer in silence.  Tee Bone sipped the Scotch, and eventually drifted off into an afternoon nap, warmed by a fire, friendship, and song.  One song.  Over, and over, and over again.

The end

 

THE ADVENTURES OF TEE BONE MAN:  PHASE ONE – THE SQUIRREL SAGA 

THE ADVENTURES OF TEE BONE MAN:  PHASE TWO – THE MULTIVERSE SAGA

 

 

THE COMPLETE ADVENTURES OF EDIE VAN HEELIN’

THE WRITER’S ROOM

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

REVIEW: Dream Theater – “Hollow Years” (1997 CD single)

DREAM THEATER – “Hollow Years” (1997 Warner Music Germany)

I always found something about 1997’s Falling Into Infinity to be underwhelming.  Yes, we had the stunning Doug Pinnick cameo in “Lines in the Sand” and a wickedly heavy “Burning My Soul”, but the album didn’t have the same impact or longevity as Awake or Scenes From a Memory.  It wasn’t for lack of effort.  They recruited Desmond Child and Kevin Shirley, and released singles.  The album never broke the top 50 in Canada and received mixed reviews.  A later-released demo version of the album revealed what the band would done if not influenced by Shirley and Child.  One of those demos was first released on the 1997 “Hollow Years” single.

First track on this single is a 4:15 edit of “Hollow Years”, with more than a minute and a half edited out.  The shame is that it didn’t become an instant hit.  With the Spanish guitar melody and subtle keyboard accents, it could have and should have done better for the band.  There is a very pretty piano melody after the chorus by Derek Sherinian, in his last of two outings with Dream Theater.  Yet it’s still Dream Theater, not some ballad band.  John Myung’s fretless bass sets it apart, and Mike Portnoy is always Mike Portnoy no matter the style of music.  The premature fade on the edit version, however, is extremely annoying.  Even if you don’t already know the song, it sounds like a premature fade.  The ending is so good; a song highlight!  The full length version, uncut and as intended, is really the only version to listen to.

“You Or Me” is a version of “You Not Me” from the album, before Desmond Child helped them tweak it.  It opens with the sound of a radio changing stations, and then a cool synth rhythm.  John Petrucci’s riff soon kicks in, and it’s clear Dream Theater were trying new things that might be perceived as more appealing.  Ultimately, the version that ended up on the album is probably the better of the two.  It’s definitely catchier.

The final track is “The Way It Used To Be”, a long non-album song with a Marillion-like guitar melody.  It could have been lifted directly from Seasons End.  Petrucci is the star on this one, as he also employs cool harmonics.  Definitely a cool and valuable bonus track.  If it wasn’t almost eight minutes long with plenty of musical prowess, it might have been a worthy hard rock hit on its own.

Great little CD single, but those edit versions are never as cool as they are collectible.

3.5/5 stars

#1147: Dream On (At The Cottage) Goodbye to Aerosmith

RECORD STORE TALES #1147: Dream On (At The Cottage)

“Aww, crap!” I explained upon arrival at the lake on Friday night.  “I forgot my drone!”

I should have known.  When we packed the car, I said “I’m surprised everything fit so easily.  I thought we had more stuff.”  Because we did have more stuff!  Sitting in a box in the living room…

Drone photography has been the highlight of the summer this year.  Now we’d have to rough it!  Back to regular earthbound cameras for us.

As it stands, without the drone we didn’t do much photography this time.  Last week’s video was so epic, there really wasn’t a need for it this time.  There were plenty of other activities on hand.  For the most part, we focused on music.

Twisted Sister, Kiss and Alice Cooper…all were interrupted by the news that Aerosmith had called it a day for touring.  Cutting short their 50th anniversary farewell tour, the Bad Boys from Boston have been forced to end it due to Steven Tyler’s insurmountable vocal issues.  It’s over – the man can no long sing live.  It felt right to put on the debut Aerosmith album and listen to the beginning again.  It was a bittersweet, but important album to listen to that night.  I’m sure everyone did their own tributes to Tyler that day, but mine was the only one with lake breezes and sunsets.

Come dinner time, and with a fresh tank of propane, I put on the best burgers of my life.  If you bought these burgers in an upscale restaurant, you’d be paying $20 each.  My secret ingredients included thick cut bacon, chopped and added to the mix, as well as minced mushroom, minced onion, and roasted (not raw) garlic. I don’t think these burgers can be topped.

We also bought a beautiful T-Bone and Porterhouse steak for Sunday night, but Saturday night’s dinner had gone bad.  Some wretched pork chops from Farm Boy (in Kitchener) had spoiled, so what do we eat?  Unprepared for this moment, we ordered in Domino’s Pizza, and they delivered right to the front door.  Also delivered right to the porch was a cool set of Lego Speed Champions, which kept me busy in the absence of a drone show.  Ah, the modern conveniences of life.

It’s funny how few people seem to understand how cool it is getting deliveries to the front door.  “I prefer to buy it myself at the store, it is close by.”  Well, for 50 years, there was no such nearby convenience here as “record stores” or “toys stores” or “pizza delivery”.  This is all new to us.

We hope that Steven Tyler is able to enjoy a relaxing retirement, just as pleasant as our weekend at the lake.

 

 

 

VIDEO: Deep Purple =1 Super Deluxe Box Set Unboxed by Mike and the Mad Metal Man

Here it is: One of the biggest rock album events of the summer! We have the Deep Purple =1 Super Deluxe Box Set in hand, and we go through all its contents. Have a watch.

#1146: 35 years ago, Mike heard this classic album for the first time… (An Uncle Don Don story in under 2 minutes) [VIDEO]

My Uncle Don Don was the youngest of three kids.  He was quite a bit younger than his two older sisters, who liked The Beatles.  My uncle was from a younger generation, raised on Led Zeppelin, Lynyrd Skynyrd and Deep Purple.

I had more in common musically with my uncle than my mother.  So, when my uncle approached me early in the summer of 1989 to swap tapes to record, I knew he’d have something interesting to tape.  I grabbed a Maxell 90 minute cassette, and chose an album of his to record on one side.

Hear the album and the story in the 2 minute video below.

FAITH NO MORE: A Career Retrospective on Grant’s Rock Warehaus [VIDEO]

One of my favourite bands, going back 34 years this summer, is Faith No More. The San Fransisco band hit it back in the summer of 1990 with “Epic”, but they had been plying the rock waters for years before, including a brief stint with Courtney Love on lead vocals. It was the acquisition in 1988 of Mr. Bungle singer Mike Patton (replacing Chuck Mosely) that was the final ingredient needed to push them over the top. Even though they are undoubtedly one of the weirdest rock bands to hit the Top Ten, they pre-dated the grunge era with their funky bass, rapped lyrics, and soaring choruses.

Grant Arthur and I covered the whole shebang, including a triumphant return with the reunion album Sol Invictus.  What is it?  It’s a damn great episode of Grant’s Rock Warehaus.  Give it a watch below!