Harrison and Jex go LeBrainless! New arrivals & rarities on Grab A Stack of Rock!

GRAB A STACK OF ROCK With the Mad Metal Man and Jex Russell

Episode 36:  LeBrainless Again!  New arrivals and rarities!

I’ve been taping a lot of guest shots on other shows lately!  Grant’s Rock Warehaus, My Music Corner, Rock Daydream Nation…I dared to dip my toes in the water with some of the big boys and had a lot of fun doing it.  But I do not want to burn out like last year, and you don’t want me to either!  So I’m taking this Friday off, and Harrison will be hosting with Jex Russell!

Harrison wants to take the show back to its original intent this week – showing off stacks of physical rock!  So that is what he has planned.  Harrison has some rarities and new arrivals on CD to show.  Jex, meanwhile, will also be showing off interesting items from his personal collection.

There will be an Ask Harrison question, and this time it’s from me!

I look forward to see what Harrison and Jex have cooking this week on Grab A Stack of Rock!

LIVE Friday Sept 29 at 8:00 P.M. E.S.T. / 9:00 P.M. Atlantic.   Enjoy on YouTube or on Facebook!

My Music Corner: Album Battle – John Bush Edition – Symbol of Salvation (Armored Saint) vs. Sound of White Noise (Anthrax)

I’ve been busy!  But I’ve wanted to work with John Clauser for a long time, so when Symbol of Salvation came up in his Armored Saint series, I asked to be included.

I almost bit off more than I could chew!  In the same week I had Grab A Stack of Rock and an episode of Grant’s Rock Warehaus.  Not to mention, studying up for the Anthrax/Armored Saint battle!  After immersing myself in the music for a few days, I think we came up with an interesting and thoughtful discussion.

Praise for John Bush was universal.  Which album do you like better?

Join Johnny Metal, John the Music Nut, Roger & myself for this thrashin’ discussion!

 

The Adventures of Tee Bone Man: The Death of Edie Van Heelin’

THE ADVENTURES OF TEE BONE MAN
PHASE TWO: THE MULTIVERSE SAGA


Chapter Twenty: The Death of Edie Van Heelin’

Edie Van Heelin’ roared through the sky.  Her rocket boots firing, and hair perfectly straight regardless of the wind, she was incoming fast!

“Hey Tee Bone Man!” she shouted into her radio.  “Catch!”

Tee Bone Man and Superdekes were flying in formation with her, Edie in the lead with the other two following.

“Catch what?” asked a puzzled Tee Bone Man.

Edie threw a flask at him, which he caught handily.

“I think you’ll like this!” she explained.  “It’s Scotch-infused green tea!”

Tee Bone smiled.  “Ahh, science.  What won’t it think of next?”  Tee Bone downed some of the tea, pouring the rest into his guitar’s audio jack.  The instrument glowed with nuclear power as it absorbed the essence of Scotch.

“You guys all set?” asked Superdekes impatiently from his flying motorcycle.

“The Northern Lights are ready to rock!” answered Tee Bone.  “Let’s do this!”

Today’s mission was a rather simple one.  The Guitar Center in California had been robbed!  12 valuable Telecasters and 14 vintage Les Pauls had been stolen.  Fortunately the shop owner had the foresight to put trackers on his most valuable instruments.  Tracing them to their current location was easy as pie, especially with Deke’s technology on their side!

“Dead ahead!” pointed Deke, to a patch of rocks in the California mountains.  “A cave, I’ll bet!”

“Then let’s pay Mr. Caveman a visit.  You ready Edie?” asked Tee Bone.

“I never was much of a Flintstones fan,” she answered.  “Let’s kick some behinds!”  Tee Bone and Deke laughed.  They always found it amusing how Edie refused to swear!

The trio soared down, down, down to the mountains below, and easily spotted a large cave in the side of one tall peak.  Tee Bone and Edie landed easily on a cliff face.  Deke, on the other hand, was without a runway.

“Sorry guys,” said Deke into his radio.  “I have nowhere to land.  I’ll have to circle around up here and watch for aerial threats.”

“Keep your eyes on the sky, we got this down here!” answered Tee Bone.

Edie and Tee stood at the mouth of a large, dark cave.  Edie activated a light on her smartglasses and the pair entered, cautiously.  Before them was a door.  A solid steel door, bolted shut, with no obvious way to open it.

“That’s not suspicious at all,” joked Edie.  “I got this.  Stand back!”

Edie took several steps backwards, leaned forward, and took a deep breath.  Eyes straight ahead, she ignited her rocket boots with a whoosh!  Like a flash, she slammed into the steel door, easily knocking it off its hinges.

“Nice one!” shouted Tee.  “Deke, we’re in!” he radioed to his friend.

“Copy that!” answered Deke.  Edie, meanwhile, was fussing over something.

“Oh, shoot,” she huffed.  “I broke a nail!”

“You also broke a solid steel door, so I wouldn’t sweat the small stuff!” encouraged Tee Bone.  “Let’s go!”

Edie smiled and rushed through the door.  What she saw on the other side shocked her.  Tee Bone joined her, mouth agape.  Before them was a hockey player with a large, unusual nose, wearing a Boston Bruins jersey.  He resembled a rat.  A rat wearing the number 63.  He sat there on the cave floor, surrounded by guitars…crying.

“Brad Marchand?” asked Tee.  “Is that you?”

“Go away!” shooed the rat-like man.  “Leave me alone!”

Edie then leaned over him.  “Aww, poor thing.  Why are you crying, sweetie?”

Suddenly Marchand burst into emotion.  “I wanted to be the best at something!  I thought if I stole these guitars…I could be the best!  Better than you!  But playing guitar isn’t as easy as cheating at hockey.  I just want to go home!”

Tee Bone could not believe what he was hearing.  “You stole all these guitars…decided you couldn’t play them…and now you want to go home??” asked an incredulous Tee Bone.

Brad Marchand wiped his eyes.  “Yes, please.”

He wasn’t getting off that easy.  Edie was not impressed.  “Too bad, Brad!” (She turned to Tee Bone to make sure she got his name right.  Tee nodded in the affirmative.)  “You committed a crime, and criminals must pay!  You’re coming with us!”

Tee Bone radioed Deke.  “We have the culprit.  And you won’t believe who it is.”

Deke laughed into his radio.  “Based on that, it’s either Billy Sheehan or Brad Marchand…”

“Damn!” huffed Tee.  “Got it on your second guess!   He has surrendered — we are taking him in.”

“That was easy!” said Superdekes.  “Didn’t even break a sweat.  Day off tomorrow as we agreed, regardless?”

“Day off tomorrow,” confirmed Tee Bone.  “Nothing’s going to stop that.  You got this, Edie?”

Edie Van Heelin’ had Brad Marchand well in hand.  Igniting her rocket boots, she was ready to go.  “I’ll take him straight to the NHL headquarters, and I’ll return all these guitars.  No problem!  No day off tomorrow for me though…doing a podcast with Fanboy Mike about my new album!”

“Say hi to Brainiac for us!” said Deke.  “Let’s head home, Tee!”

With that, the heroes went their separate ways.

The next day, Tee Bone and Superdekes were in party mode.

“Hey pal!” shouted Superdekes from across the room.  “Throw on some Leppard!”

Tee Bone Man, glasses perched upon his nose, looked up.  “I’ll throw on the Leppard, you grab the Scotch!”  Tee Bone selected High ‘N’ Dry, dusted off the vinyl, and gingerly placed it upon the turntable.  With great care he dropped the needle.  Side two:  “Lady Strange”.  Deke nodded in approval.

It was a day off at Deke’s Palace.  The boys agreed to do absolutely no super-heroing on this day.  They’d been working non-stop and knew all too well the dangers of overdoing things.  Tee Bone was going to be due for another vacation at camp soon, but a day off was just what the doctor ordered.

And then the record started skipping.

“Lady Strange, Lady Strange, I want you, Lady Strange, Lady Strange, I need…need…need…need…”

Deke and Tee Bone looked at each other surreptitiously, trying to ignore it.

“Ahh, shit!” said Deke.  “Danger vibes.  On our day off.”

“Can’t we just ignore it this time?” begged Tee Bone.  “There are other superheroes, remember?  You said it yourself.  Let another member of the Northern Lights handle this one.  Maybe Snowman.  Let him take the X-Wing.”

Deke sighed.  “You’re right.  I’ll text Snowman to check it out.”  But just as he picked up the phone…it rang.

“That’s not good,” said Tee Bone with a sense of impending doom.

Deke answered.  “Deke’s Palace…Superdekes on the line…”

“Hey Deke,” came a shaking voice on the other end.  “It’s me.  Brainiac.”

“Brainiac!!  Here let me put you on speaker phone.  What’s wrong man?  You don’t sound good,” said Deke with concern.

“It’s Edie.  She’s…in trouble.  I need your help.”

Without a second’s hesitation, Tee Bone was standing and going to grab his uniform and guitar.  Deke was also standing, ready to act.

“Tell us the story man, what happened?” asked Deke.

“I need to get to Glendora, California, right away,” answered Brainiac.  “Right now.  I’ve lost all communications with her.  Cut off.  Completely black.  She’s in trouble.  We have to get there, fast.”

Deke was already in the garage.  “Perfect time to try out the DekeCopter.  I’ll be there in one hour.”

Tee Bone Man emerged fully caped and ready to fly.  “Let’s do this.”

California

Edie Van Heelin’ was helpless.  For the first time since she became a superhero, she was truly and utterly helpless.

Trapped in her Shoe Shed, locked inside like a prison.  No rocket boots.  No animals.  A dampening field had been erected around the entire area, blocking her telepathy.  She never saw it coming!  The rocket boots were in the garage for scheduled maintenance, with the rest of her weapons and gadgets.  She was completely off guard.  She only went to the Shoe Shed to work on a live stream with Fanboy Mike, when suddenly the internet was cut.  Then, a force field zapped into place, locking her inside.  If she had her rocket boots, or guitar, or even a raccoon, she could be out of here in no time.

It had been several hours.  She sat barefoot on the floor, meditating, helpless as never before, with only hope to keep her going.  Hope that Mike would get through.  Hope that help would arrive, before she ran out of oxygen.  She practiced her breathing.  Keeping it slow and steady, and fell into a deep state of calm.

“Help me Fanboy Mike…you’re my only hope…”

“I hear you, Edie,” said Mike to himself as sat alone in the passenger compartment of the DekeCopter.  His goggles fogged up as he fought back tears.  The thought of his friend, always so freewilled and good spirited…now locked in a cage… it was too much to bear.  He caught sight of Tee Bone Man, black stealth guitar in hand, flying beside them.  Tee Bone Man gave him a thumbs up through the window.

“It’s gonna be OK Brainiac,” he buzzed over the radio.  “We’re almost there.”

“Thanks buddy,” he radioed back.  “She was in the Shoe Shed when we lost contact.  That’s her last known coordinates.”

“Shoe Shed??” asked Tee Bone.

“Yeah, don’t ask,” sighed Mike.

Deke then buzzed them both from the cockpit.  “Guys…the energy readings coming from that shed are off the charts.  I’ve never seen anything like it before.  It’s going to take everything we have to get through that shield.”

Tee Bone radioed back.  “Good thing we happened to bring everything we have.  I’m going in!”  The superhero dove quickly toward the ground, and the large Shoe Shed directly ahead.  With a steely look in his eye, Tee Bone readied his guitar.  He paused a moment, tuned the “E” string a little higher, and aimed.  With a mighty strum, Tee Bone assaulted the shield with a sonic blast that shook the entire neighbourhood.

Deke radioed.  “That did something!  Shields down to 90%!”

“Then if I still remember my highschool math, that means I only need to hit it nine more times before it’s down!” shouted Tee Bone back, as he readied another shot from the sky.

Watching this from the window, Mike wondered, “Where’s Mr. Van Heelin’?”

“What’s that Mike?” asked Deke from the cockpit.

“Nothing,” he answered.

“You better get ready,” advised Deke.  “You know the plan.  You OK?  You got this?”

“I got this,” said Mike as he stood and strapped on a safety harness.

Tee Bone, meanwhile, kept assaulting the shield with his massive power chords.  “It’s almost down!” he announced as the shield visibly shimmered below.  “Get into position!”

“Roger roger,” said Mike as he attached a cable to his safety harness.  “Safety first…” he whispered to himself, one of Edie’s favourite sayings.  “Don’t worry Edie.  We’ll be drinking tea together soon enough.  I know it.”

Inside the Shoe Shed, hearing the DekeCopter, Edie Van Heelin’ was ready to spring into action.  Her rescue was imminent!  She was ready.

“I knew Mike would come through,” she said.  “He’s never let me down.”

Without her rocket boots, she was at a disadvantage.  With the added loss of her animal allies, she had never been in this much danger before.  In her bare feet she stood, waiting for the force field keeping her inside to drop.  Through the shed windows, she could see it shimmer as it withstood shot after shot from Tee Bone’s mighty weapon.

“One more shot!” shouted Tee Bone as he blasted the shield a final time.  There was a bright flash of white, and then suddenly, the shed was vulnerable!

“Edie!  Edie!  Can you hear me?” shouted Mike into his microphone.  “Stand by!  Tee Bone’s gonna blast a hole in the roof and then I’m getting you out there!”

The radio crackled.

“Oh Mike!” cried Edie.  “I knew you’d come.  Just like you said you always would!”

“I’m here,” he comforted.  “It’ll only be a second.”

Suddenly the roof of the Shoe Shed was vaporized by Tee Bone’s electric harmony.  On cue, Mike leaped from the helicopter, the cable attached to his safety harness keeping him from becoming a splatter on the ground.  In a blur, he was there on the floor of the Shoe Shed standing before Edie.

“Hey, rock star,” he winked.  “What are you waiting for?  Let’s go!”

With a kiss on the cheek, she jumped on his back and held on tight.  “I knew you’d come for me.”

“Take us up!” Mike radioed to Deke.  The cable slowly retracted, and the pair rose out of the shed and into the air.

An alarm went off in the cockpit of the DekeCopter.  “Shit!!  Guys, that shield is going back up!!”

“Oh, no!” whispered Mike, as a mighty force nearly knocked him right out of his safety harness.  Edie fell.

“Mike!!” she screamed as he reached out his hand, catching hers in his.

“I got you Edie!!” yelled Mike.  “Tee Bone!  Need an assist here!”

“Copy that!” said Tee as he flew lower to help his friends.  The force field tried to assert itself again, and it blasted Tee Bone back.

Mike felt his grip becoming more and more tenuous.  One finger at a time, Edie was slipping away from him.

“Hang on Edie!  Please hang on!”

With pleading in her doe eyes, she wordlessly begged him not to let go.

The last finger slipped.

Edie’s mouth opened wide in terror.  Mike screamed.  Tee Bone raced, but it was too late.

With a sickening crack, Edie Van Heelin’ hit the ground.

Mike could not look.  He covered his eyes.

There was silence.  Nothing but silence.  The helicopter whopped in the air, but none of them could hear it.

“Mike…” crackled the radio.  “Mike come in.  What happened…”

He did not answer.  He sobbed in grief.

“Hang on buddy,” said Deke as reeled Mike back up into the DekeCopter.  “I got you.”

“I had her…” said Mike.

“It’s not your fault,” said Tee as he landed in the Copter.  “Don’t blame yourself,” he comforted.

“Guys,” radioed Deke, “that force field is starting to look angry.  It’s about to spit something back at us…”

At that moment the force field returned to full strength, and then some!  It began to pulse and expand.

“Get us out of here Deke!” shouted Tee from behind.

Deke hit the throttle.  The ground exploded beneath them, leaving nothing but shreds of wood and rubble.  Nothing but the detritus of a lost battle.

Three days later

 

It was raining in California as they lowered the casket into the soil.  Dressed in black, they were all there to bear witness.  Tee Bone, Deke, Mike, some men in suits representing the Durling Foundation, Aaron, the 80s Metal Man, Max the Axe…even Wolfgang Van Halen made it.  They all stood silent, in tribute to the fallen hero.

Mike stepped forward to speak.

“Edie…there will never be another like you.  I brought something for you.  Your favourite tea. Green…” he sniffed as a tear rolled down.  “…with local honey.”

He poured the tea over the ground, and sobbed.  Tee Bone rubbed his shoulders as he continued to speak.

“I know I’m usually the ‘words guy’,” said Mike, “But I am without words today.  I will miss you more than words can say.  There will never be another you.  In all the multiverse, they will never find another Edie Van Heelin’.  My loss is immeasurable.  That’s all I have to say.”

On cue, “Songbird” by Fleetwood Mac began.

For you, there’ll be no more cryingFor you, the sun will be shiningAnd I feel that when I’m with youIt’s alright, I know it’s right
To you, I’ll give the worldTo you, I’ll never be cold‘Cause I feel that when I’m with youIt’s alright, I know it’s right
And the songbirds are singing,Like they know the scoreAnd I love you, I love you, I love youLike never before
And I wish you all the love in the worldBut most of all, I wish it from myself
And the songbirds keep singingLike they know the scoreAnd I love you, I love you, I love youLike never before, like never before,Like never before

From a hilltop, a pack of arctic wolves stood silently and watched.  They were larger than the average wolf, large enough for a human to easily ride upon their backs.  The wolves sullenly watched as dirt fell over the casket.  A lone tear fell from the mother wolf’s eye.

Epilogue

“Tommy Lee!” commanded Lord Tyranus.  “Report!  Is it done?”

“Yeah dude!  All done, just as you asked!” cackled the drummer.

“Excellent!  The husband took the money then?” asked Tyranus.

“Just like you said he would!” answered Lee.  “He’s a little pissed off that his wife is dead, but he’ll get over it.  It was a lot of money.”

Tyranus laughed.  “Excellent.  She is terminated, then?”

“Knock ’em dead, kid!” answered Lee.

The Sith lord laughed again.

“Well done, Lee.  Well done.  Your reward will be suitable.”  Lee nodded happily, and Tyranus killed the communication.

“One down, many more to go.  Earth will soon be ours,” he pondered as he gazed to the stars.

 

THE END

REST IN PEACE EDIE VAN HEELIN’.  05/06/23

 

THE ADVENTURES OF TEE BONE MAN:  PHASE ONE – THE SQUIRREL SAGA 

THE ADVENTURES OF TEE BONE MAN:  PHASE TWO – THE MULTIVERSE SAGA

 

 

THE COMPLETE ADVENTURES OF EDIE VAN HEELIN’

THE WRITER’S ROOM

 

REVIEW: Kyuss / Queens of the Stone Age (1997 split EP)

KYUSS / QUEENS OF THE STONE AGE – Kyuss / Queens of the Stone Age (1997 split Man’s Ruin EP)

Sometimes, EPs are essential.  Even better:  an essential split EP, when you actually like both bands.

Kyuss split in 1996, and guitarist Josh Homme was fast out of the gates with a new EP under the name Gammy Ray.  Another Gamma Ray from Germany sued, and so Homme changed the name to Queens of the Stone Age (a nickname coined by producer Chris Goss from Masters of Reality, for Kyuss themselves).

The split EP, Kyuss / Queens of the Stone Age (double self-titled!) offered a debut for Homme’s new band, and a posthumous release for Kyuss.  Kyuss’ side opens with the previously released single “Into the Void”, the Black Sabbath cover.  Far sludgier even than the Sabbath original, this one pukes messy distortion and rolling bass all over the floor.  It gets really cool in the middle section, normally fast and heavy, but here jammy and psychedelic complete with congas.  There’s an original guitar solo by Homme, but parts of it sound like something Iommi could have written.  Other parts are purely Josh.  This is a long-bomber eight-minute version ideal, for headbanging…or spacing out.

“Fatso Forgotso” was the original B-side to the “Into the Void” single.  Here it is paired with “Fatso Forgotso Phase II”, a B-side to “One Inch Man”.  Phase I is the long bomber while Phase II is a faster blast.  The first time I ever heard Phase I, I was sleeping on a floor after a hell of a party.  The room was empty as the others had gone out to a local bar to finish the night.  I awoke to this monster of a riff.  It sounded like the ocean, it was so big.  I just lay there in my drunken state, letting this song wash over me, drown me, and bring me back to the surface.  It is fuzzy aural ectasy for its entire length, which is punctuated by Scott Reeder’s foundation bassline, and Alfredo Hernández’s busy drumming.  John Garcia’s lead vocal is way back in the mix, seemingly making the whole thing seem louder.  The congas kick in halfway through, and it turns into a desert jam with an incredible bass part.  Phase II is a completely different beast.  Four on the floor, quick and to the point.  Breakneck and thudding!  Incidentally, it was reissued on the compilation Muchos Gracias: The Best of Kyuss as “Flip the Phase”.

The Queens of the Stone Age made their debut (without Nick Olivieri, but with Van Connor on bass) on “If Only Everything”, a song that later became “If Only” on their self-titled LP.  The simple riff has always been one of Homme’s best.  This song, and “Born to Hula” are both from the deleted Gamma Ray EP, making the tracks easier to get.  “If Only Everything” could be the best Queens song – your call.  Definitely a strong start.  This version is rougher than the album cut, with vocals more buried in the mix and prominent snare.  “Born to Hula” is more futuristic, droning and hypnotic.  It too is monstrous.  Massive.  Cavernous.  Excellent.

“Spiders and Vinergaroons” was the sole unreleased song on this EP.  It later found a home on a reissue of the Queens’ self-titled album, along with other early EP rarities.  It has an unexpected Queen-like clap/stomp, but over a droning hypnotic lead guitar that meanders tensely through the first half of the instrumental track.  The second half is dominated by huge (like, Titanic) drums, and clavinet.  It shouldn’t work, but there it is.  Sounds like some backwards guitar thrown in for good measure.

This EP is characterised by long, heavy jams by both bands.  It’s not an immediate listen, but it is so rewarding.

4.5/5 stars

 

GALLERY: Nine 8-tracks from Tim, a Guess Who book from Robert, and a bunch of stickers!

On Friday night, I unboxed some parcels, but didn’t take a super close look at the contents.  Today, we are!

From TeePublic, some stickers supporting some friends:

From author Robert Lawson, a harcopy of his acclaimed Guess Who book Wheatfield Soul:

And from the Durling Foundation, a huge box full of 8-track tapes.  Not a bad haul here!  In order, they are:

 

  1. ZZ Top – Tejas
  2. Kansas – Point of Know Return
  3. Eagles – The Long Run
  4. MECO – Star Wars Galactic Funk (yes, the legendary disco album!)
  5. Journey – Departure
  6. The Cars – The Cars
  7. Alice Cooper – Lace and Whiskey
  8. Bad Company – Bad Company
  9. Foreigner – Head Games

I never thought I would have an 8-track collection, but here we are.

Thank you, friends!

A Head Was Shaved!! Who Are Your Top Five BALD Artists? Grab a Stack of Bald Rock!

First up:  a huge thank you to Kevin (CanadianGrooves.ca) Simister for being a good sport.  He was not informed that I intended to shave my head live on the show, which I did Friday afternoon.  The hair was getting a little unruly, and I’ve pulled this stunt once before, so I thought why not?  Dare I say, why not?

The theme was Top Five Bald Artists.  Kevin and Jex (Jexcalibur.wordpress.com) brought great lists, and we had a couple of repeat artists.  Friends Peter Kerr, John Clauser, and Jazz King also sent in lists, which Jex read off the top during the hair shaving stunt.  You can read their lists below.

We also unboxed some cool physical product at the start of the show:  Some new stickers from Tim’s Vinyl Confessions, 2Loud2OldMusic, and Tee Bone Man.  A hardcover Guess Who book from friend Robert Lawson.  And a huge BRICK of 8-track tapes from the legendary Tim Durling.  Thank you for your generosity, Tim.  Always.

I’ll be posting a gallery of these new arrivals in a separate post.

Although this wasn’t a serious show, it was a hell of a lot of fun.  Sometimes the strangest topics actually inspire some thoughtful conversation, and that’s what happened here.  All joking and gimmicks aside, there was true appreciation here for these artists, and admiration of their courage to go bald.

Were you able to guess the bald artists in Harrison’s artwork below?  Three of them made our lists, and I revealed the answers live as we arrived at them (plus the fourth Lego artist).

Thank you for watching!

John Clauser from My Music Corner:

5. Sinead O’Connor
4. Michael Barnes (singer for Red)
3. Kenny Greenberg (guitarist for Ashley Cleveland and numerous studio sessions)
2. Luke Easter (singer for Torniquet – Christian thrash metal band)
1. John Bush (Armored Saint / Anthras singer)

Jazz King – singer / songwriter

5. Ivan Moody – Five Finger Death Punch
4. David Draiman – Disturbed
3. Maynard James Keenan – Tool
2. Phil Collins
1. Her husband Rob, singer of Those Guys – classic rock band

Peter Kerr – Rock Daydream Nation

5. Angry Anderson – Rose Tattoo (Australia represent)
4. Skin – Skunk Anansie
3. Tony Martin – Black Sabbath'(he was receding in the 80s!)
2. Rob Halford
1.. Peter Garrett of Midnight Oil…Australia!

Who Are Your Top Five BALD Artists? Grab at Stack of Rock…with a twist! 3:00 PM Friday Afternoon!

GRAB A STACK OF ROCK With Mike and the Jexciter

Episode 35:  Top Five Bald Artists with guest Kevin Simister (Canadian Grooves)

A fun list show is ahead for you today, one and all!  List shows are always popular, and this one is a little different.  Who are you top five favourite bald artists?  Here are some questions I received while putting this show together.

  • Do receding hairlines count? – YES
  • Do shaved heads count?  – YES
  • Do artists who started with full hair but now rock the bald head count? – OF COURSE YES!  I hope we see some skullets on this list.

Joining Jex and I today will be Kevin from Canadian Grooves, a man who knows how to rock the bald head better than most.  We also have guest lists from Jazz King and John Clauser.

BONUS POINTS:  Can you name the four bald artists in Harrison’s amazing Lego art above?

Additionally, we have a load of parcels to unbox!  Including:

And there will be a twist.  Don’t miss this one live.

LIVE Friday Sept 22 at 3:00 P.M. E.S.T. / 4:00 P.M. Atlantic.   Enjoy on YouTube or on Facebook!

REVIEW: Helix – “Brother From A Different Mother” (2022 single)

HELIX – “Brother From A Different Mother” (2022 download single)

In 2021, Helix recorded a new song called “Brother From A Different Mother”, about a good friend of singer Brian Vollmer.  It was released in 2022 as a download, complete with “NFT’s” which…I don’t know what you do with that, but the mp3 file can be downloaded and played like any other!

The song “Brother From A Different Mother” is one of the heaviest Helix tunes.  Fast as a shark, and heavy as a rock!  The chorus is as memorable as any other Helix single, but the guitar playing is stellar.  From solo to riffs, the guitar provides the undeniable hooks.  There’s a slow breakdown in the middle with piano, and amazing gritty backing vocals by Cheryl Lescom.

Brian’s lyrics are heartfelt and sincere.  You can tell this was a friendship he really valued.  Let us hope for a physical release, be it a single or an album.

4/5 stars

To the three teens on the #12 GRT bus in Kitchener around 5:40 today

There were three of you, aged 17-20.  You were playing some kind of flashy game on your phones.  It was causing my epileptic wife distress.  She asked you to stop.  She told you she had epilepsy and could have a seizure.  What did you do?  You angled your phones at her, and she had a seizure.

That’s assault.

You are lucky my wife does not want to call the police.

You are lucky I was not present, or I would have called the police.

Consider yourselves very fortunate today.

 

Mr Moustachio’s Multitude of Marvellous Multiversal Misadventures: Chapter 1 – Farao Way From Home – A Tee Bone Man Multiverse Story (by Harrison Kopp)

Mr Moustachio’s Multitude of Marvellous Multiversal Misadventures
Chapter 1: Farao Way From Home

A Tee Bone Man Multiverse Story

By Harrison Kopp

Continued from The Adventures of Tee Bone Man Chapter 16: A Crazy Crazy Night (Part 3)

Moments ago…

The cracks continued outwards, and the scaffolding that Moustachio was clinging to began to break loose. This was fairly alarming, and the Australian tried to hasten his ascent. But it was no use, it was too far to the top.

Ripper the squirrel clambered up ahead of him and desperately began pulling on his finger.

“No use buddy”, the Australian smiled gently. “Go up there and help the others, ok?”.

The squirrel was vehemently against at the idea of leaving the Australian to his fate.

“I’ll be fine”, Moustachio said with a wry smile. “They need you more.”

And, not taking no for an answer, El Moustachio grabbed the small ball of fur and hurled him high up to safety. He knew he could count on the little guy. Mere seconds later he was falling backwards towards the green pit as the scaffolding beneath him completely collapsed.

Enveloped by a tawny-coloured explosion on his way down, the Australian vanished without a trace.

Then, El Moustachio appeared out of thin air and hit the ground with a wet thud, rolling twice before coming to a gentle rest. He gingerly picked himself up and observed his strange new surroundings. He knew he wasn’t in Hell because he’d been there before and it was a lot more red. In fact, the world he now found himself was actually really green. He was in a city, but there was more plant life here than he’d ever seen before. Thick vines snaked up the buildings, and the ground was more like sodden earth than concrete.

But all through it all there was something familiar. A scent he was very used to, but stronger than he’d ever smelt it before. Even stronger than the aroma of the small item he still carried in his back pocket. And it was only getting stronger.

El Moustachio stepped out of the alleyway into the city. The cool night was dimly lit by the bioluminescent plants around him. In the distance he spied a figure, and a low rumble filled the air. Suddenly he realised just how alone he was.

The figure took a step forward. And then another.

El Moustachio took a step back and steeled himself.

One way or another, things were never going to be the same again.

Now.

El Moustachio had done some arguably brave things before (the only reason they weren’t called foolish though was because he had survived), but his friends always had his back then. Now he was alone in a strange land, with no weapons, and a humanoid creature bearing down on him at an alarming pace.

The ground began to rumble and the glow of the bioluminescent plants around him began to intensify. The figure in the distance was advancing rapidly and Moustachio decided it was time to make tracks. But this thought never became an action, as at this very moment vines erupted from the ground all around him, snaking their way up his body and restraining him in place.

Now upon him, the humanoid stepped into the light and El Moustachio recoiled. He was human-looking, but he was unlike anyone Moustachio had ever seen before. He was wearing mostly orange, but the attention of the eyes was drawn to his voluminous bright green hair and verdant cape, which contrasted well against his pale white skin.

The strange man grinned.

“Let’s see what we have here”, he said with a wave of his hand.

Two crimson flowers extended from the surrounding greenery and made their way on vine-y stems towards El Moustachio. The flowers hissed in his face as a reddish gas wafted from their “mouths”.

But then everything seemed to change, and the man before him withdrew the strange plants, no doubt having determined that Moustachio was not dangerous. The Australian could hardly believe he had been so cynical as to consider this man a threat earlier. He was, after all, merely investigating an intruder in his land.

The man then made a very reasonable request, asking who Moustachio was and how he came to be here. This was a dangerous place after all, Moustachio thought to himself, and the Australian was sure this man only wanted to help others avoid falling into it like he had.

So Moustachio told him who he was and were he came from, being extra certain to mention how his world had many good people who could run afoul of this world, especially if their heroes were not there to protect them. He then talked about how he had fallen into a strange cloud of liquid trying to stop a bad man from taking control of a source of terrifying power.

The man showed considerable interest in this and began to think intently. Moustachio was certainly right. There were lots of people in his world who would be unable to defend themselves here.

The Australian would have continued but he was forced to close his eyes as a gout of fire spewed forth from the sky and scorched the earth around him. The plants immobilizing him instantly shrank away in fear or ashes, and the man questioning Moustachio dove backwards into the shadows.

More fireballs spewed forth striking whatever greenery was around. The air was now thick with smoke as an orange glare lit up the surrounding area. El Moustachio began to stagger away, but his attention was caught by a man coming down from the sky.

The Australian had never seen the man before, but he looked familiar. A long grey beard masked his face, but Moustachio was sure he’d seen those eyes before. The cape/guitar combo was also mighty familiar.

The older man held out his hand and extended Moustachio an invitation that the Australian did not have to think twice about.

“Let us depart immediately, or else you will perish.”

Wasting no time, El Moustachio grabbed the man’s hand and was immediately taken skyward as a feral howl from below followed them into the air. The Australian held on for dear life as they continued to ascend into the night sky.

After a few minutes they broke the cloud layer, and the Australian was treated to the sight of beautiful starshine all around. He had never seen the night sky outside of the city, and it was better than he had ever imagined it would be.

El Moustachio took the chance to enjoy some peace and quiet for a few minutes, but soon spied something in the distance and, as they got closer, realized his eyes really weren’t deceiving him. That really was a floating chunk of earth with a red and white windmill on it.

They reached it shortly, and the Australian was gently lowered to the ground.

“Thank you”, El Moustachio said to his rescuer, who was touching down himself.

“Are you hurt?”, the older man asked.

“I don’t think so”, El Moustachio replied, “But I’m really confused. Where am I? How did I get here? Who are all you people?”

“There’s a bit of a lengthy explanation to all this.”, the old man replied, “Come inside and I’ll start from the beginning.”

The Australian obliged, following the old man into the humble dwelling inside the windmill. It was a simple dwelling, with the bare essentials of hospitality, though over against one wall sat a complex set of machinery and computers.

The old man laid his guitar against his bed and turned to face El Moustachio.

“Allow me to introduce myself first. Officially I am Professor Scotchafunkilus, but you can call me Troy.”

“Troy?”, the Australian replied, thinking of his friend back home. Or was that back in time?

“My name. My friends would call me Tee Bone, but I haven’t had any of those in a while.”

The look on Moustachio’s face told the Professor enough.

“Ah, I see you must be familiar with one of my counterparts then. In that case let me cut to the chase a little – you’re in another universe entirely, and not a good one I’m afraid.”

“You mean like a parallel universe?”, Moustachio asked.

“Yes. One of many in the multiverse.”, Scotchafunkilus replied.

Moustachio had to sit down.

“How…how did this even happen? How did I get here?”

“Radioactive scotch particles. Powerful stuff that, but very volatile. There’s some of them floating around in every universe, and once in a blue moon two of them occupy the same spot in different universes. This causes them to react in an explosion that causes a temporary bridge between the two universes. Anything caught in that explosion can transfer between them.”

Moustachio thought back to his fall from the scaffolding only hours ago.

“My scanners picked up your entry and I rushed there as fast as I could.”, Scotchafunkilus continued. “What worries me though is that these events are becoming larger and more frequent. Something’s happening out there. Look at this here. Two events within a short time frame of each other and the scotch quotient of both are off the charts. Something massive came through there and left again here.”

This did not make Moustachio feel good. Nor did the prospect of staying in this universe.

“But what happened here?”, Moustachio asked, “This place is almost as bad as Hell.”

Professor Scotchafunkilus exhaled slowly. After a short pause he gravely answered.

“A couple decades ago a man gained control of a great power on an island not far from here. He was never the same again. He let himself fall deeper and deeper into darkness. His desire to create, his desire to protect, his desire to mean something, they all twisted him into the horrible being that attacked you – The Cabbage Lord.”

A shot of fear went through Moustachio’s heart. He thought back to his friends on Wicked Lester’s Island. What if they couldn’t stop him without Moustachio? What if this hellscape here was the future of the Australian’s world too now? Scotchafunkilus continued.

“We formed a resistance. Tried to fight back. But his empire only grew. Now I live alone here, researching the multiverse. Eventually I’ll find a way to revert this universe back, or I’ll die and my problems will be over.”

El Moustachio hated to see Tee Bone like this.

“Come on, we can do better than that. Surely we can do something to avenge this world at the very least.”

“No. My priority now is getting you out of here. The Cabbage Lord will probably manage to track us down tomorrow, and you need to be gone before then. This isn’t your fight.”

“Tomorrow comes today Tee Bone!”, screamed the Cabbage Lord from outside the building.

Scotchafunkilus and Moustachio were sent lurching forward as the floating island came to an abrupt stop, wrapped in the tendrils of a large plant.

“How did he get here so fast!?”, the Professor asked.

But he wasn’t particularly interested in the answer. Wasting no time, Scotchafunkilus ran to his guitar and began to play.

“I’ve devised a guitar solo that attracts radioactive scotch particles. But there’s no guarantee on how long it will take two to collide. Or where you’ll end up.”

“Then I should stay here.”, Moustachio said, “He’s outnumbered – we can take him now.”

“No”, the Professor replied, “He’s too powerful and you deserve better than to die here to him.”

The old man continued to play, as the rumbling sound got louder. The Australian looked around, worried. Any second the plants would be through the ground.

Then Moustachio heard a loud crack and felt a burst of liquid behind him. But before he could think any further, Professor Scotchafunkilus kicked him into the Mahongany explosion, and everything went black. Only for a second. And not for the first time today (not that the day had been anything even remotely close to the usual passing of 24 hours he experienced), El Moustachio fell out of thin air into a strange new world.

This time his fall was not cushioned, and he gingerly held a hand to his side as he got up from the rocky ground. He was on a mountain somewhere. He wasn’t high enough to see snow yet, but it certainly wasn’t warm up here. Plus it was pouring with rain.

He was soon soaked, but gunfire from the dark sky drew his attention to the heavens. He peered into the murky gloom, trying to spot the source of the noise. And he seemed to have done so. Becoming more visible by the second came a peculiar skycraft.

It was, well, it looked like a lead zeppelin, but that was impossible because those..didn’t..exist?

But this was one very real, and it was heading right for where El Moustachio was standing.

Back in the windmill, the Cabbage Lord stood alone in the smouldering building, as blood and Scotch mixed together in a pool on the floor. He tenderly rubbed some aloe on his wounds and examined the remains of the computers in the room.

The machines had suffered a lot of exterior damage from the fire, but most of the hard drives inside seem to have only suffered superficial burns. This was good news. There was a whole multiverse out there, and now the Cabbage Lord was close to being able to make it his.

Here.  Now.

Far far away, across universes, Tee Bone awoke with a jolt. He had the weirdest dream. He was an old man, with a beard right out of a ZZ Top album cover, and Moustachio was in it too.

A cold breath escaped his lips. He had died, hadn’t he? That’s how the dream had to have ended. It was only a dream, but it felt strangely real to him. Too real. At least I know Moustachio is still out there he thought to himself as he rolled over and snuggled under the covers. It was a comforting thought and it got him back to sleep within minutes.

To Be Continued…

 

THE ADVENTURES OF TEE BONE MAN:  PHASE ONE – THE SQUIRREL SAGA 

THE ADVENTURES OF TEE BONE MAN:  PHASE TWO – THE MULTIVERSE SAGA

 

 

THE COMPLETE ADVENTURES OF EDIE VAN HEELIN’

THE WRITER’S ROOM