europe

RE-REVIEW: Europe – The Final Countdown (1986, 2019 Rock Candy remaster)

EUROPE – The Final Countdown (1986, 2019 Rock Candy remaster)

When Europe set in to do The Final Countdown, some changes were necessary.  The drum seat went from Tony Reno to Ian Haughland, a guy that Joey Tempest liked partially because his drum kit looked like Alex Van Halen’s.  Some new songs, such as “Carrie” and “Ninja” had already been road-tested on the Wings of Tomorrow tour.   The record label was gunning hard and hooked them up with Journey producer Kevin Elson for the third album.  What Elson brought to the music was not drastic change, but the essentially improvements that made the record what it is today.

Record?  In this case, CD.  In 2019, Rock Candy reissued The Final Countdown with six bonus tracks:  the same three live ones from the 2001 Epic remaster edition, plus three extra.  For that reason, let’s take a second deep dive:  It has been over 10 years since we last reviewed it.

With the ominous boom of synth, the anthemic title track opens The Final Countdown with regal, grand intentions.  The track was cut down from seven minutes to just five, and for that reason it was able to become the hit it was.  Today you hear it on TV commercials and shows such as Arrested Development (in hilarious fashion).   Back then, it was pushing the envelope about how much keyboard was acceptable in hard rock or heavy metal.  Europe really started as a metal band on their first album.   Yet here we are, with those big gongs of synth provided by new member Mic Michaeli.  When the trumpet-like main keyboard melody enters the fray, it’s all but over.  Your mind is now hooked!  The wicked John Norum guitar solo remains one of his catchiest and most memorable, with plenty of fret-burning action.  The lyrics tell the story of abandoning the Earth for Venus due to catastrophe.  Corny, but pretty unusual for its time.  “The Final Countdown” remains one of those career-defining songs that live forever.

“Will things ever be the same again?” begs Joey Tempest, before the chorus.  For the band, no.  Superstardom hit soon thanks to this unforgettable anthem.  Though their fortunes would fade and they would never hit these heights again, they wrote themselves into rock history with one song.

Straight-ahead party rocker “Rock the Night” was the infamous video that featured Joey Tempest using a ketchup bottle as a makeshift microphone.  Great song though, with that kind of shout-along chorus that Bon Jovi were also becoming experts in.  But listen to Ian Haughlaand’s drums!  Absolutely pounding.  All the elements come together in perfect balance here, with the keyboards taking a back seat to John Norum, who continues to burn on the solo.  His tone on this album was unique and very tasty.

“Carrie” was born on tour as a simpler arrangement with just Joey and Mic on stage.  When recorded for the album, it was a full band arrangement.  A little heavy handed, a little over-dramatic perhaps.  It too was a huge hit.  It still sounds good today, largely thanks to Joey’s impassioned vocal performance.  The man was at the peak of his powers, and it shows here.  Very few singers can do what Joey does on “Carrie”.

The rock returns on “Danger on the Track”, a tale of Joey fleeing from the strangers on his back.  And he was so right, apparently, but we won’t get into that!  This is clearly an album track, not up to the standards of the previous three singles, but still good enough for rock and roll.  It’s “Ninja” that surpasses the singles, with a ripping tale of the era of the ninja.  It has the rhythmic chug that the other songs don’t, and plenty of John Norum’s addictive, dramatic runs.

The final song written for The Final Countdown was one of its best:  the side two opener “Cherokee”.  It seems odd for a band from Sweden to sing about a dark period in American history, but the lyrics aren’t too far off the mark.  They were based on a book Joey saw while working in America.  This is probably the second most anthemic song on the album behind “The Final Countdown”.  It has a big keyboard hook too, and a chorus that sticks for days.

“Time Has Come” is only the second ballad, but it has some heavy guitars to keep it from going too soft.  Once again, Norum’s solo is a highlight, being a key part of the song’s melodicism.  Moving on to “Heart of Stone”, a memorable mid-tempo track, John Norum continues to shine.  This cool song boasts a killer chorus to boot.  There are cool stabs of organ a-la Deep Purple ’84.  You wouldn’t call it a heavy song, but “On the Loose” sure is.  This scorcher is among Europe’s best blasts.  It’s just a simple song about teenage frustration and energy.  This might have been the song that made me a John Norum fanboy in the first place.

Album closer “Love Chaser” is a melancholy mid-tempo romp.  It has a bouncy beat and keyboard hooks, and it ends the album just perfectly.  It even has a keyboard melody at the start that recalls “The Final Countdown” a bit, providing the album with a nice set of bookends.  Sadly this would be John Norum’s last appearance with Europe until a 1999 reunion.  He was replaced by Kee Marcello, who appears in all the music videos aside from “The Final Countdown” itself.

The first set of bonus tracks are the three live songs that appeared on the 2001 Epic remaster.  These are taken from the Final Countdown World Tour VHS from the Hammersmith Odeon in 1987, and feature Marcello on guitar, though this information is not included in the otherwise excellent booklet.  It is audibly him.   “The Final Countdown”, “Danger on the Track” and “Carrie” are the three tracks included, though there is a clear opportunity here to do a 40th anniversary edition with the entire show on disc 2.  These are solid live versions, and it does sound pretty live especially in the lead vocals.  Joey Tempest is one of the most impressive singers in hard rock, and though the press was trying to build a rivalry with Bon Jovi in 1986-87, Joey was clearly the superior singer.

The first of the new bonus tracks is a rare 1986 re-recording of “Seven Doors Hotel” from their debut.  There are now drapes of synths over the piano opening, but the song still scorches hot as ever.  John’s guitar is doubled effectively for a more Lizzy-like approach.  It was clearly too heavy for The Final Countdown album but it could have been an excellent B-side.

Speaking of B-sides, a special B-side remix of “Rock the Night” is another rarity brought back to light.  This version could have been better than the original, but falls short of the mark.  It does not actually sound like a remix at all, but a completely different recording, at least vocally.  If you wanted to hear this song a little heavier, then this version might do it for you, except for the annoying looping of hooks.  “Rock now, rock now, rock now, rock the night!”  “What do you want?  What do you want?”  Stop looping the hooks, please!  It sounds so artificial.  This version is a minute and a half longer than the original.  It’s a slog, but it didn’t have to be.

Finally, the excellent B-side “On Broken Wings”, previously available on compilations, has been restored to the album as it always should have been.  It’s a hard rocker, a driving song, and could have fit very well on side two.  It would have been one of the faster songs, yet with another memorable Europe chorus.

This new Rock Candy remaster sounds sharp and vibrant.  An excellent remastering of a stone cold classic.  The booklet includes an interview with Joey Tempest on the making of the album.  Until they issue an expanded edition for the 40th anniversary (let’s hope), then this is the version to buy, hands down.

5/5 stars

 

 

Happy Halloween! WTF Search Terms – Horrifying Spelling edition – “marrieanheels toopless nake”

Happy Halloween!  On this October 31, what is scarier than poor spelling?  Take a look below and see for yourself!  These are poorly-spelled search terms that somehow led people to this site.  Boo!

Let’s go!

Probably just some big fingers typing on a small screen here – they are obviously looking for Ted Nugent‘s amazing Double Live Gonzo.

Swedish.  The word is spelled Swedish.

  • marrieanheels toopless nake
  • “married and heels” topples
  • marriedandgeels naked

No comment.  I told you that this was happening regularly!   Glad I never had to look at this.

Maxi Priest and Shaggy.  Maxi Priest and Shaggy.  Maxi Priest and Shaggy!  Write it 100 times until you get it right!

  • presinor in paradies song

“Prisoners in Paradise”, you mean?  You will not like my review, that’s for sure.  Don’t click it.

UNOFFICIAL.  UNOFFICIAL!  You can’t blame this one on autocorrect!
That was some scary, scary spelling.  Happy Halloween folks!

#1056: Spring Metal on the Other Side of Winter

RECORD STORE TALES #1056: Spring Metal on the Other Side of Winter

I think many people share my sentiment that this winter was absolutely brutal.

Since ages past, it has always been a celebration when the sun emerges warmly after a long, cold winter.  Memories flooding back.  So many memories.

1986.  On the back porch at the cottage, playing “Turbo Lover” and “Locked In”, freshly recorded in mono from MuchMusic, from the brand new Judas Priest album Turbo.   I was probably told to turn it down….

1987.  On my bike.  I had received The Final Countdown by Europe for Easter.  It was difficult for me to get into; different from what I was used to.  I remember cruising down Carson Ave on my bike with that album in my head.  Best track for me:  “Cherokee”.  I loved the keyboard hook and the chorus.

1988.  I was given Skyscraper by David Lee Roth for Easter.  It became a “warm weather album” that spring, played many times weekly in a Walkman while riding a bike or strolling through the neighbourhood looking for girls.  (Not that I ever found any.)  Memories of setting up my ghetto blaster on the front porch, with Skyscraper serenading the street.  That cassette wore out rapidly.  It was one my first CD re-buys a couple years down the road (spring ’91).

1989.  Trying to look cool, and practicing my guitar on the front patio for the world to see.  I was never any good, but I am sure that “Mary Had A Little Lamb” really delivered the spring-like vibes I was laying down.  In my earphones were things like New Jersey by Bon Jovi, House Of Lords’ self-titled debut, Quiet Riot’s latest with Paul Shortino on lead vocals.  Amazingly though, 1987’s Hysteria by Def Leppard was still in my Walkman.  The album had incredibly long legs.  I was hoping for one more single, which never came to be.  I picked “Love and Affection” as my favourite in ’89.  Then, I had some new buys!  We had just joined Columbia House.  I split the membership with my sister and picked up these treasures that rocked my whole spring:

  1. Leatherwolf – Leatherwolf
  2. Motley Crue – Girls, Girls, Girls
  3. Hurricane – Over the Edge
  4. Stryper – To Hell With the Devil
  5. Stryper – In God We Trust
  6. White Lion – Pride
  7. Sammy Hagar – VOA

Shortly after the first seven, I added Triumph Stages to the list, which carried on rocking me into the summer of 1989.  That year was one of the most critical in my life as a music fan, and the spring motherlode from Columbia House had a lot to do with it.

1990.  I was now working at the local grocery store, Zehrs.  Short-haired and geekier than ever, I was really getting in Black Sabbath.  Pushing the shopping carts in long lines, singing “Sweet Leaf”, but having no idea what it was about.  When I declared it as my favourite Black Sabbath song, people reacted strangely and I didn’t know why.  I guess they thought I was into the pot!  I thought the “Leaf” of the song was a girl named Leaf.

1991.  The end of highschool loomed…I felt very free.  Very excited about the future.  The future of hard rock.  Little did I know!  I was listening to a lot of the new Mr. Big that spring, an album called Lean Into It.  I thought they had really refined their sound.  I had also taken the dive into indi rock, and Raw M.E.A.T was absolutely one of my favourite CDs that spring.

Good place to end this trip down memory land:  happy memories, all of them!  I wonder what will be dominating the car stereo with the windows down this spring?

#1013: “Joey” – The Joey Tempest Conspiracy, 7 Years Later

RECORD STORE TALES #1013: “Joey” – The Joey Tempest Conspiracy, 7 Years Later

I think with the distance of seven years, we can finally put the Joey Tempest Conspiracy Theory to bed.  “What conspiracy,” you ask?  It all started in March of 2015 when a writer friend of mine, Tommy Morais, contributed an excellent review of the Europe album, War of Kings.  He rated it 4/5 stars, and said “I praise Europe for giving us a true great hard rock record in 2015”.  You’d think there was nothing controversial about Tommy’s review, but on June 13 of that year…everything changed.

A reader going by the name “Carrieanne” dropped a massive, monolithic comment one morning, explaining that Joey Tempest was no longer in fact Joey Tempest.  He had been replaced by a doppleganger.  A satanic one at that.  According to Carrieanne, “since the middle of 1989, the real Joey Tempest is not in this band, and Joey was truly the only one who has made this group huge with his talents, awesomeness and uniqueness!! And since 26 years, there’s such a horrible imposter and liar in this ‘group’, that’s not the real Joey Tempest!!”

“The real Joey Tempest had to leave the group because of this horrible liar!! It’s so obvious and so clear to see that it’s just someone different (unless you’re blind and deaf, like bunch of ignorants [sic]).”  On and on it goes, a massive diatribe praising Joey, attacking the fans who enabled the replacement’s acceptance, and of course, religious weirdness.  “You are worshipping the devil!!!” said Carrieanne.    But all is not lost.  The real Joey, one day, will come back.  There’s a really messianic angle to this whole comment.  Carrieanne ties the lyrics to “Danger on the Track” and “The Final Countdown” to a prophecy of this great replacement, like biblical verse.

“Are you on drugs?” asked Jompa Wilmenius, of E-Tainment News.  Reader Derek commented, “I can see you made the mistake of spilling meth into your coffee this morning champ.”

You can’t help but see similarities to conspiracy theories today.  I’m reminded of Romana Didulo, a woman who claims to be the “Queen of Canada”.  Canada already has a monarch and his name is Charles III, but I digress.  Tens of thousands of followers legitimately believe Didulo to be the legitimate Queen of Canada, as she tours the country in a beat up RV and feeds her followers tins of sardines.  And just like with Queen Romana, acolytes of the weird soon emerged to talk about Joey Tempest.  Things got even weirder.

Admittedly, this next part is kind of my fault.  With co-writer 1537, we cooked up a parody review of War of Kings, playing up the whole replacement angle.  For example, we wrote:  “Just look at the songs here!  ‘Children of the Night’.  The real Joey would never have written a song about ‘children of the night’,  ‘California 405’ is the highway that O.J. Simpson was chased down – a definite clue that there was something more going on here than meets the eye!  Why would Europe specifically reference that notorious highway unless they were implying some sort of wrongdoing behind the scenes?”

We guffawed and high-fived and hoped Carrieanne would drop another bizarre comment.  That is not exactly what happened.

While everyone else seemed to get the joke, someone named Doreen, who typed completely in capslock, said:  “I know Joey Tempest, and can I assure you that this is completely and utterly ludicrous.”

We laughed some more, as one person clearly did not get the joke.  We thought it was pretty obvious.  With lines such as “Joey would NEVER let his hair go flat like that, wake up people,” I really did think it was an obvious joke post.

We mocked Doreen a bit, but then shortly after, a new player entered the field.  Miranda, claiming to be Joey’s wife, also did not get the joke.  “Must post fast since I’m sure the guys in white coats [are] coming for ya,” she said.  Miranda claimed to have Joey Tempest’s birth certificate, marriage certificate, childrens’ birth certificates, and a DNA report.  (I’m not sure what good a DNA report will do us.)

I followed Miranda to her YouTube channel, where she goes by the name “TheMirandaTempest”.  On this page, she has poorly dubbed her vocals onto classic Europe ballads, to create fake “duets” with her “husband” Joey.  Joey’s wife, incidentally, was also publicly known to be Lisa Worthington, not somebody named Miranda.  So now, we had two different delusions.  We had Carrieanne who said Joey Tempest was replaced by a satanic doppleganger in some bizarre conspiracy.  Now we also had Miranda, who was posing as Joey’s wife online.  And things would get even weirder still.

We know now that there was at least one Facebook page posing as Joey Tempest at that time.  Imposters, of the online variety, were of actual concern.  You can see why as we go on.

As Miranda’s comment was thoroughly mocked by readers, others came to her defence.  Doreen claimed again she knew the real Joey Tempest, but I think the person she knew was probably that fake Joey on Facebook.  Once she realized that several commenters were trying to explain the joke to her, she became angry.  She did not find it funny.  Neither did Joey Tempest, or his wife, she claimed.

Ironically, I had heard from Jompa Wilmenius that the real John Levén of Europe did find it funny.

Soon, Doreen’s partner Billy Low entered the fray.

“Joakim Larsson [Joey’s real name] and his wife are personal friends of mine. They are also personal friends of my partner. We ask him to do cover versions of songs for us, which he does. We also met him recently. A fake? Plastic surgery? Don’t make me laugh! Are you one of those who is going to write a book about this, hoping to make money? If so, forget that idea. Anyone with even a shred of common sense would know that what you are claiming is pure fabrication. If l wasn’t so furious about this, l can assure you that l would laugh my head off!”

They met him recently.  They. Met. Him. Recently.  Whooboy.  His wife Miranda…”You read what Joey’s wife has said on here,” said Billy Low.  The person claiming to be his wife, who is not his wife, because his wife was Lisa Worthington, you mean.

It’s really easy to understand how the Queen of Canada has followers when you see stuff like this.  She’s told her followers not to pay their bills, as Canada is illegitimate.  She is the Queen, and she says don’t pay your bills.  So these Canadians — homeowners! — are having their electricity turned off.  This is happening as we speak.  And they believe in their Queen even harder.

The very active comments section rolled on, with one comparing the situation to Matthew Trippe who claimed to be Nikki Sixx at one point.

I later received a threat on Facebook from Billy Low, because I misgendered him as a woman.  I didn’t know.  I just assumed it was a group of Joey fangirls.  When he said Doreen was his “partner” that didn’t clear it up.  The best part about this is that it drew out someone actually claiming to be Joey Tempest.  Posted Joey:  “The ‘real’ Joey Tempest is alive and well and still the same person,but even Rockstars have their secrets!!!!!!!!”

From the comments’ IP addresses, I learned the following.  Billy and Doreen didn’t even live on the same continent as Miranda, so I’m not sure how they are close personal friends.  Carrieann was in Poland, and had the same IP address as another commenter “Someone X”.  It was all so very strange.

Strange, yet in the context of what we see in the world today, pretty tame stuff.  Nobody’s losing their house because they think Joey was replaced by a satanic lookalike, or because they pose as Joey’s wife online.  As least, we hope they don’t.

Billy Low accused me of making the story up to write a book and make money.  While that was certainly untrue, I admittedly did milk the posts for hits as much as I could.  They were very popular!  One or more of the Joey Tempest posts tended to stay in the top 10 for hits, for a long time.  I won’t apologize for that.  Entertaining the masses can be a thankless job.  I probably earned enough in advertizing dollars from the Joey posts to buy a few coffees.  Sue me, Billy!

REVIEW: Europe – Last Look at Eden (2009)

EUROPE – Last Look at Eden (2009 Ear Music)

When it was released on September 9 2009, Joey Tempest and Ian Haughland were quoted talking about how this was the best album Europe had done in the reunion era. I personally don’t agree; I think Start From the Dark is the best. However that’s not a slight against Last Look at Eden, a regal very European platter of great songs.  From rockers, to ballads, to blues (like the closing epic “In My Time”), Last Look at Eden is a well-rounded Europe album.

You can tell what you’re in for right from the opening prelude: Grand arrangements, lush recording. The Europe of old, in the world of today. This goes straight into the title track, a sort of “Final Countdown” for the new era. Indeed, Last Look at Eden combines sounds from Europe’s past, brought sharply into the new millennium. A good example is “New Love in Town”, a great ballad that would go toe-to-toe with the lush landmark ballads this band did in the 80’s.  There’s even a hint of Zeppelin on “Mojito Girl”.  I hear a smidge of Marillion in “No Stone Unturned”.  Elsewhere you will find groove, such as on the driving “Gonna Get Ready”.  “The Beast” is unstoppable!  If it wasn’t for Joey Tempest’s voice and the thick tone of John Norum, you wouldn’t know it was Europe.  But it is, and has the kind of chorus that they do so well.

To me the weakest parts of this album were some of the lyrics, “Catch That Plane” being the worst. It’s not 1986 anymore guys.  “It’s getting hard, so very hard, I’m gonna need some attention.”  What on Earth could Joey be singing about?  “Catch that plane and get your ass, your pretty ass over here.”  Oh.

I also find the album cover to be a poor representation of the music inside.  It’s not bad, with the apple (“Eden”) and the ferrofluid spikes.  Everybody will have their own interpretation, but it just doesn’t do the music justice.

There are two bonus tracks on this edition, more on different editions. Here you get a live version of the old B-side track, “Yesterday’s News”, probably the best version of this song released yet. There is also a live version of “Wake Up Call” from Start From The Dark.

Pretty damn good.  Lots of killer, only a little filler.

4/5 stars

#852: On The Loose

GETTING MORE TALE #852: On The Loose

Though they formed in 1979 and were already on their third album, I didn’t notice Europe until 1986.  Even then, I managed to ignore their first few airings on MuchMusic’s Pepsi Power Hour.  Host J.D. (John) Roberts made a big deal out of the fact that they were from Sweden, which I didn’t understand since Yngwie Malmsteen was also from Sweden and nobody mentioned that as the most interesting thing about him.  Roberts warned us that Europe didn’t really sound like heavy metal but they were playing them anyway.

After the second or third run, the hook to “The Final Countdown” was stuck in my head and I decided that I liked the band.  I asked for their album for Easter of 1987.  What did I think about this new band from Sweden when the Easter bunny granted my wish?

Didn’t care for it much. The title track still had me hooked, and a song on side two called “Cherokee” was a sure-fire hit.  The rest of it sounded like awkward filler.  “Rock, now, rock the night!”  What kind of chorus was that?  I knew English wasn’t their first language but it didn’t hook me. Likewise “Stranger on the Track”, which I still envision as a guy running around on a 400 meter track & field course.  Even the mighty “Ninja” slipped past me with lines like, “If I were a noble ancient knight, I’d stand by your side to rule and fight.”  As for “Carrie”, it was just too soft.

But I was committed now; I had received this cassette tape as a gift and I had to give it a fair chance.  “Ninja” did rock, and so did a song called “On the Loose” on side two.  It was this song that rocked the hardest.  It also featured some amazing shredding by guitarist John Norum, which turned me into a fan.  That and his cool guitar strap.

By summer it was safe to say that I really liked the album.  Once the big singles wore themselves out on me, I found favourites on side two.  “Love Chaser”, “Heart of Stone”, “Time Has Come” and of course “On the Loose” were great songs.  As I learned more about the band, I discovered that John Norum had already departed and been replaced by Kee Marcello, who was in the video for “Rock the Night”.  But all anybody remembers about “Rock the Night” now is Joey singing into a ketchup bottle. the band miming their instruments on silverware in a diner.

Though clearly dated to a specific part of the 80s, The Final Countdown still stands as a thoroughly enjoyable album. Every song is fondly remembered.  It’s brighter and more instantly appealing than its following Out of This World.  Though they burned out by ’92, they have enjoyed a quality second era with Norum back in the fold.  Who could have imagined that back in ’87?

#844: Happy Birthday in the Age of Covid

GETTING MORE TALE #844: Happy Birthday in the Age of Covid

 

All I wanted for my birthday was one more weekend at the lake.  During the time of Covid, that’s never been a certainty.

My parents are not young anymore (although my mom would probably fool you).  I have a 96 year old grandmother that my mom cares for.  We have to be extra, extra, extra careful about everything.  The Ontario government announced Phase 3 of re-opening last week and so my mom and dad decided that we could try spending some time under one roof together for my birthday.  I got my wish.

Packing my electronics and my Marvel figures, Jen and I headed up to the cottage Thursday night.  Lately, especially this year, I’ve been trying to roadtrip exclusively to music that I would have played there when I was a kid.  Usually that’s Kiss but this weekend I decided to shake it up and play some Europe.  The Final Countdown and Out of this World were both acquired at the cottage the first time when they were new.  Playing them on the way there was really trippy.  This resulted in a future Europe-based story that I look forward to sharing.

The first thing we did was jump in the lake for a swim.  I clocked in nine swims this past weekend.  The footage wasn’t as stunning as last week; the lake was murkier.  Instead of worrying about making videos, I just decided to enjoy it and live in the moment.  (There are plusses to both approaches, but the wavy video from last week can’t be topped.)

We ate steak for almost every meal.  I cooked a slab of blue-rare perfection that became steak & eggs the following morning.  I sat outside and watched Marvel movies all weekend.  The Incredible Hulk, Ant-Man, and Captain America: Civil War.  I cranked the tunes outdoors as well:  Europe again, and classic Kiss.  Dynasty, Unmasked, and Gene’s solo album were all air-guitared live on the deck.

I was still worried about my parents and their comfort.  After seeking advice, I decided to set up sanitising stations at the door and on the deck.  They arrived on Saturday afternoon bearing hot, fresh French fries courtesy of a local stand called the Cheesy Monkey.  Later that afternoon they had a small party with cake.  My sister came over and next door neighbour Paul stopped by.  Everybody was six feet apart and we handled things like snacks and drinks very carefully.  My dad bought me a stick of meat and everybody else got me Marvel figures.  Do they know me or what?  I think our trial run for having everybody together at the cottage worked out pretty well.  This really helps relieve the stress.

Something else interesting happened this weekend.  First, flash your minds back to 2002.  Marillion were pioneering a new kind of live release, a subscription based series of archive recordings called the Front Row Club.  I was a subscriber from beginning to end (2002-2008) and never missed a release.  One of the perks that early subscribers received was an exclusive Front Row Club T-shirt.  I had completely forgotten about it, until my mom handed it back to me this weekend.  Somehow, it had become the property of my late Uncle Don.  I don’t remember giving it to him, and I don’t think he liked Marillion, but my mom found it in his shirts.  Now it’s back in my closet again.  We’ll never know how or why!

We left Sunday afternoon after an exciting rain storm, though not as big as we’ve seen before.  Then we went to go and visit Grandma who only turned 96 a week ago!  The good news is that she looks exactly the same as she did when she was 95.  We had a great visit though she really hopes we can get back to something more normal soon.  Can’t say that I blame her, but it was actually a pretty normal birthday for me.

The cottage is a special place in terms of family history and mental well-being.  It’s a place I’ve always enjoyed showing off and I hope you can get a taste of paradise from the pictures.

Thank you everyone for the birthday wishes!  I haven’t finished responding to every one and I may have missed a few.  It sure could have been a heck of a lot worse.

 

#820: 1991 Was the End and 1991 Was the Beginning (Part Three)

GETTING MORE TALE #820: 1991 Was the End and 1991 Was the Beginning (Part Three)

As monumental as 1991 already was terms of massive change, a big one was still to come:  finally learning how to drive!  The time had finally come when I had to, and so I did.  I cut my teeth driving to and from University during the winter.  You can get pretty good pretty quickly that way.  Most importantly, I discovered the pleasures of listening to music alone in the car.

Choosing an album.  Turning it up as loud as I could handle.  Listening to the whole thing from start to finish without complaints.  It was…a revelation.  My parents used to be able to hear me coming home from around the corner, so loud was I blasting it.

It was an ’89 Plymouth Sundance, but all that really mattered to me was that it had a tape deck and I was allowed to drive it.  Upon arriving at school, I can remember putting the tape case on the dash board so the parking control guy could see how cool my music was.

Jesus, I was weird.

Still am?  I guess this website is just me putting my tape cases up on the dashboard of life.  Right?

With new music on the shelves by Europe and Tesla, and a monolithic new slab by Guns N’ Roses to enjoy, I was keeping myself busy.  Then and now I believed in giving new releases multiple listens, and I always played the Guns tapes as a set.  There was no point, I reasoned, in listening to one more than another.  They’re really one album so that’s how I played them, every time.  Late ’91 was a Guns-heavy time.

Although first year of university life was a lonely time, I did make some new friends.  I had two night classes.  One thing I enjoyed about night classes was that there was only one per week — a big three hour chunk.  You could cover a lot of material in one class, and have a week to absorb everything for next class.  My first night class was Sociology, and next to me sat big Rob V, who quickly became one of my Jedi Masters of Rock.  He educated me on Whitesnake, Deep Purple and the Black Sabbath discography.  Then he taped for me a number of rarities, and they were treasured by me for many years.  Those tapes were only replaced when I finally scored original CD or vinyl copies for myself.  We weren’t the cool guys in Sociology class, but we had a lasting friendship.  Rob lived not too far from me, so I was happy to drive him home after school.  He would often have commentary for me regarding my musical selection for the car.

My favourite night class was Thursdays — Anthropology 101.  I hated the professor initially.  He was a ponytail guy.   Our school had a couple ponytail guys.  Also a few socks-and-sandals guys, which blew my mind.  “What the fuck is the point of that?” I asked myself rhetorically.  All psychology professors, those guys.  But ponytail-Anthropology guy (gosh I wish I could remember his name) won me over very quickly with his entertaining, though factually dense, teaching style.  There was a lot to cover each night.

Another quality that night classes had was a higher number of adult students.  I enjoyed speaking to them, but one poor older lady really struggled in Anthro-101.  I’ll never forget her because although she slowed the class down, I just felt badly for her.  She dropped the course by the second semester.

The teacher liked to use examples to illustrate a point.  I can’t remember the exact details, but he was using a current TV ad as his example.

“I don’t know these modern TV commercials!” she said in frustration.

“OK, no problem…here’s an example from your generation.  On the original Star Trek in 1969 there was an episode where they beamed down to this particular planet…”

Then he lost her even further!  He tried though; lord did that professor try.

While I was making interesting new friends in 1991, an old friend became more special.  I took my studying very seriously and because of that I had to stay home for Thanksgiving instead of going to the lake with my parents.  I couldn’t study there.  Too small a space.  So Peter invited me to have Thanksgiving dinner with his family.  That was something that meant a lot to me.  I wasn’t going to be alone and I had a hot meal to look forward to.  I even put on a nice shirt and shaved my peachfuzz.  Peter had an incredible family.  His mom and dad were always welcoming, making me feel at home.  Same with his sister Joanne.  Over the coming months and years, Peter and I would grow closer and hung out every weekend.  Where I had friends that were Jedi Masters of Rock, Peter was more like my Jedi Master of Movies.  He had a huge collection.  I think as a collective, comedy was our thing.  Peter was also my Jedi Master of Comedy.  I might never have seen Slap Shot if it wasn’t for Peter.

At the end of 1991, my Christmas list took care of some of the last new releases in music that I needed.  Poison’s double Swallow This Live was, not surprisingly, a letdown.  I was also underwhelmed by the Operation: LIVEcrime box set by Queensryche.  Too many backing vocal tapes.  But for a long time I had looked forward to Motley Crue’s Decade of Decadence.  Back in the summer of 1990, Vince Neil was talking about this album.  Finally I had the tape in my hands!  (It’s a shame I spent so much time in my collection lingering on the cassette format, but the car tape deck made it a natural choice.)  I loved the new heavier sound of “Primal Scream”.  The new remixes were just added value to me.  I eagerly awaited whatever heaviness Motley Crue were working on, without realising that the band were working on firing Vince Neil!

Although worlds seemed to be ending when highschool did, somehow life was still going on.  Many things did come to their natural conclusions, like friendships, rock bands and the Pepsi Power Hour, but other things had started to bloom.  Peter and I were to trek onto many 1990s adventures, for the human adventure always continues.

 

REVIEW: Europe – “The Final Countdown 2000” (Single)

“Oh God!  What did I just listen to?” – J from Resurrection Songs

EUROPE – “The Final Countdown 2000” (1999 Sony single)

As we edge closer to the start of a new decade, it’s the perfect time to look back at the turn of the millennium, 20 whole years ago.   Sony decided that Europe’s “The Final Countdown” would make the ideal anthem for the millennium, and so had it remixed by the guy (Brian Rawling) who did Cher’s “Believe” a year earlier.  Joey Tempest was not amused, and tried to find another mixer without success.  Drummer Ian Haughland called the finished remix a “disaster”.

The full 5:45 remix was released as a single, while a 3:47 edit version was issued on a new version of Europe’s “greatest hits”, with title updated from 1982-1992 to 1982-2000.  At least the millennium led to a performance by a reunited Europe on New Year’s Eve featuring both guitarists John Norum and Kee Marcello.

The full length remix is the antithesis to rock music.  Sped up, with bouncy synth bass and drums, it was obviously calculated for dancing.  There are keyboards, weird sounds, and samples that have nothing to do with the song.  Of the original recording, Joey’s vocals remain, but the rest sounds completely digital.  It goes on, and on.  The edit is tolerably shorter, but barely.  “The Final Countdown 2000” is an affront to rock music and everything its fans enjoy.  It is pure pandering to people who would never have bought a Europe album in the first place.  Is that what Sony felt they had to do in order to make it a hit a second time?  Imagine if Europe recorded a new version with both guitarists instead.  The song was already pop enough to be a hit again on the wave of 80s nostalgia.  It didn’t need to be mutilated to fit into a dance remix.  It surely would have done better than this (#6 in Sweden, #36 in the UK).

As a consolation prize, this CD single includes a single edit of the original song.  All it’s missing is the countdown opening.  After hearing the dance version twice, it sounds strangely sluggish (even though it’s not).  It’s like taking an offramp from the highway into normal traffic.

Possibly the worst single I’ve ever bought.  And I’ve bought Puff Daddy.

0.5/5 stars

WTF Comments: Prisoners in Max’s Paradise edition

You gotta give Max [not The Axe, as far as we know] credit for this scorcher.  We don’t agree on Prisoners in Paradise by Europe, and that’s OK.  I was harsh on the album so Max was harsh on me.

I don’t know what the fuck this reviewer got stuck in his ears; a dead cat!?

Good one for sure.  Max goes on:

He complains about some songs being “pop” songs. Well what the fuck do you think this band is, Metallica??

Of course not, Max.  But have you heard of this album called Europe, by the band Europe?  Not a pop record, bud.  Not a pop record.

I don’t care. I like ’em. 

That’s cool Max.  I like ’em too.  Cool yer jets, bro!

For Max’s full comment click here.  Thanks for reading, anyway!