yngwie j malmsteen

VHS Archives #151: Yngwie J. Malmsteen hosts the Power 30 on MuchMusic in 1992

Disclaimer:  This is an extremely dull video!  Consider:  without music videos, Yngwie Malmsteen “hosting” the Power 30 in 1991 amounts to less than 90 seconds of video.  How disappointing.  This is an excellent example of why the Power 30 was a vastly inferior format to the Pepsi Power Hour.  The shortened time led to substance-free content like this for the vacuous 90s.

Yngwie comments a little bit about each of the videos he has been assigned:

  • “Dragonfly” by Yngwie Malmsteen
  • “Over My Head” by King’s X
  • Deep Purple and Jimi Hendrix – songs not named
  • “Heaven Tonight” – Yngwie Malmsteen

I just told you everything they played, but watch it for Yngwie’s quick comments if you like.

 

 

#1117: I Admit It: I Miss My Cassettes

RECORD STORE TALES #1117: I Admit It: I Miss My Cassettes

Hey, it’s me, the guy who has talked about how much he hates cassettes, again and again ad nauseum.  I don’t know why, but I’m feeling a lot of nostalgia for tapes these days.  While CD remains my go-to format, with vinyl in second, I am now on the lookout for old 80s metal cassettes that still play well.  What the hell happened to me?

It’s true that I have a lot of bad memories about cassettes, to go with the good.  I have my own system and language when it comes to my collection, but I abandoned cassette back in 1995 because the sound quality wasn’t there and got noticeably worse the more you played the tape.  I considered cassette to be a “soft copy”, with the longer-lasting CD and vinyl being “hard copies”.  You simply have more control in keeping those two formats in good shape.  Cassettes are another story.  It’s just magnetic particles stuck to a ribbon, and every time you play it, those particles wear off bit by bit.  In effect, you wreck your favourite tapes fastest because you simply love listening to them!  There were other complications.  Different decks played at different speeds, with my “ghetto blaster” playing the slowest and most warbly.  I had two Sanyos and then a Sony, and the Sanyos were by far the worst.  Only my Sony Walkman was able to play almost every tape in my collection at something close to the right speed.  Once I learned to drive, I found that the car deck could play pretty much anything, but it did eat a few tapes too.  It was like every time you wanted to listen to music, you had to pick the right equipment and cross your fingers.  I remember wrecking a copy of Black Sabbath Tyr by accidentally pushing two buttons at once on my Sanyo.  This created a loud squeal right during the start of “Anno Mundi” that was impossible to ignore.  Playing tapes was like walking a minefield sometimes!  I always prayed that nothing would go wrong.

CD solved most of the problems I had with cassettes.  Heck, even the artwork was back to being a square!  Cassette cover art was either cropped or “pan-and-scanned” (to coin a phrase) to make a square fit into a rectangle.  Everything about CD was better.  Bonus tracks, better sound, longer life, larger (and square!) artwork…even the ability to skip through songs in an instant.  What wasn’t there to prefer?  And why the hell do I miss cassettes right now?

It’s all nostalgia.  There was something about buying a new album on cassette, and being basically forced to listen to the whole thing.  There was a certain appreciation for the album, with an actual side break, that connected us to the vinyl age in a way that CD did not.  Or, maybe it was just the glory time of our youths that made it feel that way.  The act of closing the door, pressing “play” on a new tape, and laying on your bed to listen with intent.  How often is music just background noise in our modern lives now?  How frequently do we sit and spend time just listening to the music while staring at the packaging today?  Are we listening, or are we multitasking?  I’m multitasking right now, listening to Trilogy by Yngwie J. Malmsteen on my speakers.

I picked that recording for a reason.  I got on cassette from my grandma in 1987.  It was on Capitol Records and it played for shit out of the box.  Many Capitol tapes did around 1986-87.  my W.A.S.P. and Iron Maiden all had similar problems, which them priorities to upgrade on CD when the time came.  I know not everybody likes Yngwie.  Some find him grating.  He does take some adjustment, but imagine listening to your first Yngwie on a slow, warbly cassette.

I do miss some things though.

I miss opening up a new tape and seeing what colour or design the shell was.  Usually they were black, but as the 90s progressed they were frequently clear.  Some were white, and my Helix was glow-in-the dark!  With CD there was the occasional thrill when we got a picture disc, but soon that became the standard.  The clunky cassette, with its little wheels and windows, was physically just cooler than a CD and you didn’t have to be as careful.

The lyric sheets were easier to read.  All you had to do was unfold the J-card and lay it out.  CDs often had pages stapled into a little booklet that you had to hold open.  Cassettes may have had smaller print, but the paradox was that the format made it physically easier to read!

Cassettes were perfect for the pocket.  You could easily slide a couple (maybe even three) into a jacket pocket.  CDs never fit right and if you got one in your pocket, it was a tight fit.  And jewel cases were easy to crack and break.

That’s another thing!  Cassette cases had their weaknesses too.  They could crack like a CD case, and the little arms could snap off.  However this is far more common on the CD case, which also have those annoyingly fragile teeth that hold the disc in place.  Cassette cases were just slightly more sturdy than their CD counterparts.

Finally, cassette spines were wider and easier to read.  Period!

I do miss cassettes.  I have better equipment today, and though not an audiophile setup, I get by.  There are some releases I’d like to have on cassette again, or for the first time.  I guess I’m a changed man.  I’m not the format snob I used to be.  However, if they start jacking up the prices of cassettes the way vinyl is today, we’ll have to talk again.

 

REVIEW: Yngwie Malmsteen – I Can’t Wait (1994 Japanese EP)

YNGWIE MALMSTEEN – I Can’t Wait (1994 Pony Canyon Japanese EP)

Immediately following the Seventh Sign album, new Yngwie Malmsteen material surfaced in Japan.  Three songs and two live tracks served as a nice dessert after a pretty good studio album.  Mike Vescera remained on lead vocals.  The lineup is largely the same as The Seventh Sign, but with Barry Sparks added on bass (probably just for the live songs; it sounds like Yngwie on the studio cuts).

Title track “I Can’t Wait” is one of Yngwie’s strongest ballads.  Though it starts with uncharacteristic acoustic strumming, the song transforms into the kind of epic ballad that you expect from the guitar god.  Vescera’s range and power are on display.  Great song.  And you don’t always say that about Yngwie tunes.

“Aftermath” is a pounder.  Slower, determined, great drums.  Lots of shredding come solo time.

The two live songs are “Rising Force” and “Far Beyond the Sun”, hits from the days of yore.  Recorded live at the Budokan earlier in the year, it must have felt something like home for Mike after his stint in Loudness!  “Rising Force” is an ass-kicker, pedal to the metal, and the whole band rising to the occasion.  That’s it for vocal tracks though.  “Far Beyond the Sun” is one of Yngwie’s best known guitar compositions, familiar and beloved for its exquisite neo-classical stylings.  As for this version?  Flawless and inspired.

The final track is a studio instrumental called “Power and Glory (Takada’s Theme)”.  This was done as a theme for a Japanese pro wrestler and few will be familiar with it.  Slow, plodding, with the repeated chant of “Ta ka da!”, it is hard to really like.  Yngwie’s acoustic work is always brilliant, but difficult to digest here.

Good EP overall.  Hard to find.  Snag if you find for a good price.

3.5/5 stars

REVIEW: Yngwie Malmsteen – The Seventh Sign (1994 Japanese import)

YNGWIE MALMSTEEN – The Seventh Sign (1994 Pony Canyon Japan)

Former Loudness singer Mike Vescera can be forgiven for moving on with Yngwie J. Malmsteen.  The Swedish guitar wizard was on his 6th lead singer, and despite lacklustre sales, the gig was one that came with a certain amount of prestige.  Fortunately it was a winning combination.  Their first album together, The Seventh Sign, boasted a dozen tracks with most of them pretty good.

Opening “Never Die” recalls the fire of “I’ll See the Light Tonight”.  If you’re familiar with Yngwie, you know what to expect.  Blazingly fast neoclassic guitar licks, speedy riffs and aggressive vocals.

“Like the sky, I’m perpetual, I never die!”

It’s a good opener, in the fast-paced Dio vein of rock.  Fortunately Yngwie slows it down for the wah-wah inflected bluesy rock of “I Don’t Know”.  The main riff here is catchy enough and Yngwie adorns it with plenty of licks.  Vescera has a powerful set of lungs, an absolute requirement when singing with Yngwie.  He gets to show off his abilities a bit on the decent power ballad “Meant to Be”.  “Forever One” makes it two ballads in a row, though the second is less “power”, and employs some acoustic portions.

For heavy, don’t miss out on “Hairtrigger”.  Vescera is in top form here, and the sputtering speed rocker satisfies to the end.

An instrumental slow blues called “Brothers” follows, and you might think “this album sounds overloaded with ballads”.  But yet that isn’t the impression you get listening.  These are not wimpy songs.  They have power and loads of guitar.  The actual effect you get is that of a heavy album.

The awesome title track gets it cranked on side two right from the start.  There’s some intricate classical guitar but then, wham — the mighty riff.  It’s a blur but it smokes.  “The Seventh Sign” is one of Yngwie’s best tracks of ’em all, if you like ’em heavy.  Vescera rises to the challenge.  As for the playing, even when we’re focused on that heavy riff, Yngwie still has time for some whammy bar nuttiness.

“Bad Blood” is a heavy blues, maybe going for a heavy Purple vibe (check that organ), but without a memorable melody behind it.  Vescera is the star here; the guy can sing anything.  It really gets stinky on “Prisoner of Your Eyes”, the worst of the ballads.  Amberdawn Malmsteen is responsible for the fetid lyrics.  This is rotting limburger cheese topped with surströmming as a garnish.  Would you like a side of industrial vinegar?  One word:  “cringe”.

Back to quality, the sitar introduces “Pyramid of Cheops”.  Insofar as Egyptology in metal goes, this is not a top track.  It does crush, but up against classic Maiden, Dio or Blue Murder, it’s no competition for the champs.  One has to admire Yngwie’s restraint for the most part, as he just grinds at the riff.

Another album highlight, “Crash and Burn”, really goes for the neoclassic vibe.  The faux-harpsichord is a delightfully baroque touch, but then the song takes off for the skies.  Great Yngwie riff, a fine example of neoclassical gone right.  Vescera keeps it heavy.  Then it’s the final instrumental, “Sorrow” which sounds like it should.  Sparse classical guitars pick out a mournful melody.  It’s a comedown from “Crash and Burn” and works brilliantly in that regard.

The Japanese, of course, got a bonus track.  Called “Angel in Heat”, this unremarkable song features Yngwie on vocals.  He’s going for a Hendrix vibe again, but the song is pretty atrocious.  Without Vescera to save the song, it’s for collectors only.

Like any Yngwie record, you could objectively state that most of the songs on The Seventh Sign would be better with less playing.  But then it wouldn’t be Yngwie, would it?  He’s often been criticised for not coming up with enough memorable material, but most of the songs on The Seventh Sign are above average.  Having a great singer didn’t hurt either.  It’s one of the guitar madman’s better records.

3.75/5 stars

REVIEW: Smoke on the Water – A Tribute – Various Artists (1994 cassette)

SMOKE ON THE WATER – A Tribute (1994 Shrapnel cassette – tribute to Deep Purple)

This baby can be expensive to acquire on CD, so let’s give ye olde cassette tape a spin.  It’s not been played in over 20 years.  This review is with fresh ears.

The backing band on this tribute to Deep Purple consists of:  Deen Castronovo (Hardline/Journey – drums), Jens Johansson (Yngwie Malmsteen – keys), Todd Jenson (Hardline/David Lee Roth – bass) and Russ Parish (Fight/Steel Panther – rhythm guitar).  Each track has a featured singer and lead soloist.  Let’s dig in.

First up:  “Speed King” by Yngwie J. Malmsteen with Kelly Keeling on vocals.  Keeling is on the sandpapery side of Joe Lynn Turner here, while Yngwie gets to jizz fanboy style all over the fretboard.  The star might actually be Jens Johansson’s keyboards but this is an unfortunately very cheesy version of “Speed King”.  Woah, Keeling just nailed an Ian Gillan scream!  Nice.

Kip Winger and Tony MacAlpine team up for “Space Truckin'”.  Tony goes his own way with the solos, innovating as he goes.  This is…pleasant?  There’s some kind of spark that’s missing, and when you’re playing “Space Truckin'” you need to put accelerant in the tank or you’ll fall flat.  Studio sterility has replaced spontaneity.

You gotta hope Glenn Hughes and John Norum can shock some life into “Stormbringer”.  They can!  Of the guitarists so far, John Norum (Europe) is the one who has the right feel for Deep Purple.  Glenn’s great, but doesn’t get to play bass, and here’s part of the problem.  You can hear that the backing band recorded the songs and then the featured players recorded their parts over them.  In a perfect world you’d have Glenn plotting the way on bass too, gelling with the backing band in a united groove.  That can’t happen when you record this way.

One guy who manages to inject his song with personality is Richie Kotzen.  He’s got the funky “Rat Bat Blue” and is granted both the lead vocals and guitars.  Yngwie returns on “Lazy” and he’s teamed with former Deep Purple singer and his own former bandmate, Joe Lynn Turner!  Yngwie plays appropriately on this strong but fairly bland track.  And that’s the cue to flip the tape over.

Paul Gilbert (Mr. Big) gets the vocal and guitar honours on “Maybe I’m a Leo”, which frankly is too slow and lacks groove.  Paul’s vocals, however, absolutely nail Gillan’s on the original.  Things turn stale quickly when it’s time for “Smoke on the Water”.  Russ Parish takes the guitar slot while Robert Mason (Lynch Mob/Warrant) sings.  Far more interesting is “Fireball” with Don Dokken and his future Dokken bandmate Reb Beach.  Don sounds a bit overwhelmed by the demanding song, but hits all the requisite notes.  The brilliant Jeff Scott Soto takes the driver’s seat on Mk I’s “Hush”.  This veteran vocalist (Yngwie/Journey/man more) makes mincemeat of your ears, absolutely killing it.  Soto is absolutely the vocal star on this album (one that includes Glenn Hughes)!  The final song goes to Tony Harnell (TNT) and Vinnie Moore (UFO).  They busy-up “Woman From Tokyo” a bit too much with unnecessary fills, but Moore does some really cool picking during the quiet section.

Though interesting, Smoke on the Water is far from an essential addition to your Purple collection.  There are already so many tributes out there.  The most interesting was T.M. Stevens’ Black Night which re-interpreted Deep Purple according to his New York sensibilities.  He had Joe Lynn Turner, Vinnie Moore and Richie Kotzen on his album too!  Then there is the more recent Re-Machined, featuring Iron Maiden, Metallica, and more Glenn Hughes.  Considering the CD prices these days, place Smoke on the Water fairly low on your priority lists.

2.5/5 stars

VHS Archives #36: Yngwie Malmsteen on Classical influences (1986)

Once upon a time, John Roberts was J.D. Roberts. He wasn’t a political pundit on Fox News, he was the host of the Pepsi Power Hour! The year was 1986 and Yngwie J. Malmsteen was in the studio.

J.D. asked him about his Classical influences, and then a dumb question about turning Bach into Rock. Check it out.

REVIEW: Yngwie Malmsteen – Trial By Fire: Live in Leningrad (1989)

YNGWIE MALMSTEEN – Trial By Fire:  Live in Leningrad (1989 Polydor)

Walk up to the well-schooled rock fan in your group of friends and ask, “What do you think of Yngwie J. Malmsteen?”

Even the ones who don’t like the Swedish Speed Demon’s albums will admit, “except for that one with Joe Lynn Turner; that was pretty good.”

The short-lived Turner lineup did release a live album in 1989.  Trial By Fire: Live in Leningrad was accompanied by home video of the same name with more tracks.  By 1990, Malmsteen already had a new album and singer named Göran Edman, but only Joe Lynn Turner had the marquee value to bring Yngwie a Billboard top 40 charting record (#40 with Odyssey).

Although Turner can act as a gateway to hear Yngwie for the first time, his stuff can still be pretty off-putting.  Just look at the pompous “thank you’s” on the inside sleeve.  Sprinkled in with the regular names are da Vinci, Bach, Beethoven, Paganini, HP Lovecraft and Monty Python’s Flying Circus.  Come on, Yngwie!

Joe is a versatile singer, which is one reason he’s always been sought after.  He effortlessly imbibes the old Yngwie tracks with his own attitude:  “Liar”, “Queen in Love”, and “You Don’t Remember” are better with Joe singing.  Unfortunately this is marred by a too-loud audience and Yngwie’s always excessive shredding.  More often than not, he overplays.

When it works, it works.  “Heaven Tonight”, “Queen in Love” and “Deja Vu”, the most melodic songs, click.  The instrumentals are good too, like demonstrations of immaculate neo-classical rock.  “Far Beyond the Sun” is tightly composed and arranged, though live Yngwie lets the strings fly even more.  Listen for some Deep Purple right in the middle of “You Don’t Remember, I’ll Never Forget”, and some Rainbow on “Crystal Ball” too.

Yngwie produced Live in Leningrad himself, and it’s a rather shrill affair with obvious backing tapes on some of the choruses like “Heaven Tonight”.  The problem with many Yngwie albums is that you can only listen to so much before ear fatigue sets in.  Live in Leningrad is one such album.  By the end your brain is exhausted and you have to listen to something from a different end of the spectrum.  Even Joe Lynn Turner can’t blunt the aural razorblade effect.

3/5 stars

#474: Vertigo Records in Ottawa Ontario

Last weekend, Aaron went record shopping in Toronto while I did the same in Ottawa. Check out his post too, and see what we scored!

GETTING MORE TALE #474: Vertigo Records in Ottawa Ontario

Something very special happened on March 24, 1956.  On that day, Clifford Michael Woodhouse married young Jean, the light of his life, and they began a large and loving family.  Clifford, known as Mike, was a radar operator in the CF (Canadian Forces).  As such he and his family lived in many parts of the world at many times.  According to his son Richard, who also served in the CF:  “During the height of the Cold War he was a Radar operator, working on what was known as the Pine Line, where he monitored and collected information on the movement and position of threats to the Canadian Forces and to Canadian sovereignty.”  He was also involved in classified projects, but I can’t talk about that, or he’ll have to shoot me.

Sgt. Woodhouse ultimately settled in Ottawa after stops in France and Gander, Newfoundland.  He retired in Ottawa where he and Jean still live today.  I am lucky to have married his beautiful grand-daughter Jennifer.

A 60th wedding anniversary is a big deal.  Did you know that couples who are citizens of the British empire (including Canadians) can receive a letter from Queen Elizabeth II for their 60th anniversary?  The diamond Woodhouse anniversary celebration (held on Sunday the 20th) was not an event we were likely to miss, so Jen and I climbed aboard a train and headed east to our nation’s capital.

We stayed in the Novotel (good experience; recommended) which was a block or two away from a store called Vertigo Records.  Brilliant.  First excursion solved!  We’ll get there eventually (I promise), but lemme tell you, I’ve never been in a Hummer limo before.  Jen’s cousin Missy arranged this beast of a vehicle, 18 feet in length, and just a pleasure to ride in.  (So screw the environment I guess; I rode in a Hummer limo and enjoyed it!)  There were 14 of us inside that Hummer, including Mike and Jean, two of their kids, three of their grand-kids, and FIVE of their SIX great-grandchildren!  How incredible is that?  Even more met us at the Keg Manor; a large and incredible group of people.

During the celebration, the lucky couple were presented a number of precious documents in honour of their achievement.  The letter from the Queen was perhaps even overshadowed by a personal letter from the Right Honourable Steven Harper, former Prime Minister of Canada.  Family member Chris acquired this by writing to the office of Mr. Harper, who was kind enough to send a signed letter in response.  There was also a letter from David Johnston, Governor General of Canada and direct representative of the Queen in this country.

Jennifer has a great family in Ottawa and I can’t wait to return to the city, in warmer weather.  It was bitter cold that weekend, windy and unpleasant to walk in for a long period of time.  As such we didn’t go far in distance from our hotel.  I did find this interesting place that I might have to check out next time.*  It was situated beside a couple tattoo shops.  Hey, it says it’s FREE, right?

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Vertigo Records (193 Rideau St, (613)-241-1011) is an inviting and cool store selling new and used CDs, vinyl and even cassettes.  They had a copy of Metallica’s tape-only No Life ‘Til Leather, sealed for $25.  Even cooler, they had a signed Motorhead drum head (not for sale).   We arrived shortly after they opened and there were already customers browsing.  They had a lot of stock and they were putting out plenty of new stuff as I was there.  There were a number that struck my eye.

Should I have bought Goblin Cock?

Should I have bought Goblin Cock?

 

One of the first discs I noticed was Yngwie Malmsteen’s Live in Leningrad, which I have wanted for a long time but never had.  Vertigo had a good variety of tunes in rotation over the speakers, including some Motley Crue.  Maybe that’s what inspired me to pick up the double Live – Entertainment or Death.  I’ve seen a lot of copies of it in the past in just wrecked condition, so not remembering if I owned it or not, I picked this one up.  I did own it already.  So this one goes into the Aaron pile.**  In the new arrivals bin, I saw Robert Pollard/Doug Gillard’s Speak Kindly of Your Volunteer Fire Department.  I wasn’t certain if he owned it or not, so for only $6.99 it was better safe than sorry.   He does have it, so I’ll keep it.  He tells me I won’t be disappointed with it anyway, because Gillard is a guitar hero of his and I should be in for a treat.

Speaking of Aaron, he has some Deep Purple castaways coming his way.  When I saw these lovely Japanese reissues in mint, complete condition for only $14.99 each, it was all but a no-brainer to pick them up.  There are Russian forgeries on the market, but these are the genuine article from Japan.  I’m very pleased to add these to my collection and pass down my old copies to the next generation of Purple fanatics.*** And lo! More Japanese treasures were to be found! Complete with obi strip was some rare Rage Against the Machine.  I have a brief story about this CD, that was too short to make it into Record Store Tales*^ but fine for an anecdote here.

One of the few guys that actually worked at the old Record Store before me was this guy Dave.  There was the owner, his brother, two guys named Craig and Dave, and then me.  A bit later on, Dave went to Japan but kept in touch via snail mail (back then, we just called it “mail”).  I will never forget that he sent us a letter to the store, almost taunting us with rare CDs that he found in Japan.  He mailed us the obi strips for Nirvana’s Hormoaning and a Rage Against Machine CD called Live & Rare.  “Ever seen these before?” read part of the letter.  Hormoaning yes, Rage no.   I never saw it again either, until Vertigo Records.  $12.99, obi strip intact.  Dave doesn’t even have his own obi strip anymore!

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Moving on, some classic rock finds were hard to turn down.  Cream Gold ($8.99 for 2 CDs!) and Jethro Tull’s Living With the Past ($6.99) came home with me to Kitchener.  I have the Tull DVD of the same name, and it’s excellent.  And Cream?  This is my first Cream purchase.  This is something I’m glad to have fixed in my collection.

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I love me some Fu Manchu, but I missed We Must Obey the first time out.  Brant Bjork’s Punk Rock Guilt also slipped past me.  Not this time!  $7.99 each.

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Finally, I could not safely bring home a lot of vinyl on the train, so I didn’t go nuts on it.  I saw some cool stuff, believe me, and I was considering getting some Kiss solo album reissues.  I bought one 45, which was “The Devil Stole the Beat from the Lord” by the Hellacopters, taken from their Kiss-like LP Grande Rock.  The single contains two non-album B-sides:  “Holiday Cramps” and “Be Not Content”.  The devil-dragster cover art probably made Rob Zombie cry tears of jealousy.

The guy behind the counter gave me the 45 for free.  “Because you’re buying so much,” he said.  What a pleasant surprise.  That was awesome.  I guess he didn’t know who I was*^^ and that I like to do this whenever I can!  We had a brief chat while he carefully put the discs and inserts in the cases.  We marveled at the folks out there who actually throw away CD packaging.  Why would anybody do such a thing?  I will truly never understand.

It was such a pleasure being in Ottawa that weekend, windy cold weather aside.  We will definitely return, and stay longer so as to check out some of the other record stores in town.  Vertigo Records is a must, a highly recommended store that I would rank as highly as my favourite Toronto record stores.

5/5 stars.

And thank you to C. Michael Woodhouse for your hospitality and for everything you have done for this country.

Mike “LeBrain” Ladano

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*I’m kidding!  I’m kidding!

**I have a lot of stuff here that I should really mail out to the friends I promised I would mail them out to.

***Hopefully Aaron and his kids.

*^Have you been reading Record Store Tales?  If not, please click here.

*^^I’ve always wanted to say to somebody, “Do you know who I am?” and then whip out my mikeladano.com cards as if I’m actually somebody.

 

 

#473.5: The Week of Flaming Turds – Feedback

FLAMING TURDS

The Week of Flaming Turds – Feedback

I hope you enjoyed the Week of Flaming Turds here at mikeladano.com.  When you amass a large collection of music, you end up with a number of stinkers because “hey, it’s part of the collection”.  Collecting could probably be diagnosed as an illness, related to OCD.  As a reviewer, I tend to review the music I listen to more often, which is (generally) stuff I like.  Hence, a skew towards positive reviews.  To break up the monotony I collected some writings about some stinkers this week and put ’em out as the Week of Flaming Turds.  And thank you Sarca for the title and logo.  She rocks, doesn’t she?

Now that we’re at the end of the week I have three questions, so please feel free to leave a comment.

1. Did you like this theme week?

2. Which of the five do you think stink the most?  If applicable, which album do you like most?

a) Shania Twain – “Party for Two” (Getting More Tale #473)
b) Bon Jovi – Burning Bridges
c) Queensryche – Tribe
d) W.A.S.P. – K.F.D.
e) Yngwie J. Malmsteen – Inspiration

3. Of these five, did you have a favourite writeup?  Or did you strongly disagree with me?

Lemme know in the comments below!  There are lots more turds in the collection to go.

 

 

REVIEW: Yngwie J. Malmsteen – Inspiration (2 CD reissue)

FLAMING TURDS

“Flaming Turds” artwork courtesy of SARCA at CAUGHT ME GAMING.  Thanks Sarca!

What better way to end the WEEK OF FLAMING TURDS than with a covers album?!  Thanks for joining us this week for some very questionable music!

Scan_20160317YNGWIE MALMSTEEN – Inspiration (1998, 2000 Spitfire 2 CD reissue)

“Woah!” said I upon spying this album for the first time, back in 1998 at the big HMV on Yonge St.  “Yngwie did a covers album!  Scorpions, Rainbow, Rush, lots of Purple…I’m in!”  For some reason, I thought that updated versions of some of my favourite songs redone by Yngwie Malmsteen would be something I’d want to hear all the time.  Eagle Rock did a reissue of Inspiration a couple years later with some bonus tracks out of the Yngwie archives, so when that one came in used at the Record Store, I swapped up for it.

Now, you might think that with such vocal luminaries as Jeff Scott Soto, Joe Lynn Turner, and Mark Boals, it would be hard to miss.  You would be wrong.  It’s impressive that all three guys served as lead vocalist for Yngwie in the early years, and returned for the covers album.  Beyond that, this album is still a turd.  Right from the orange-skinned Yngwie turd cover art, to the ghastly version of “Manic Depression” that Yngwie sings himself, this album is dreadful.  Just a real haul to try and listen to in one sitting.

Yngwie insists on producing all his music, and he has managed to make Jeff Scott Soto sound dull, sterile and boring.  No mean feat.  “Carry On Wayward Son” (Kansas) is an excuse for Malmsteen to over-shred, but Soto is not given a chance to do anything.  Even though Yngwie’s version of the song is actually shorter, it sounds way longer.  A simply atrocious “Pictures of Home” is given to Joe Lynn Turner to sing; kind of obvious since he was actually in Deep Purple for a few minutes.  How did they get drums to sound this bad?  The Blackmore obsession continues with “Gates of Babylon” (Rainbow) and even more Purple:  “Mistreated”, “Demon’s Eye”, and “Child in Time”.  Yes, that makes half of this covers album a Ritchie Blackmore covers album.  “Gates of Babylon” is pretty good, Soto finally unleashed, but then Yngwie shits all over it with a guitar solo that is way louder than the lead vocals!

Gates of Babylon

Gates of Babylon

The best things about these remakes could be the keyboard of Jens Johansson: not trying to copy Jon Lord in any way, but certainly a fun player to listen to if you’re into the neo-classical.  Unfortunately even he can’t save some of these tracks.  “Child in Time” is truly awful, simply not worth listening to.  Why waste eight minutes on this when you can play the original?  On the brighter side, a heavy version of “In the Dead of Night” by the progressive rock supergroup, U.K. is pretty good.  It’s a song you may recognize (I knew it from somewhere), but perhaps the reason I dig Yngwie’s version is that the original isn’t ingrained in my mind.    Mark Boals sings it, and his voice is strong and ripping!

Then we have the bonus CD.  (The Japanese version of the CD has a bonus track, Hendrix’s “Spanish Castle Magic”, but I don’t care.)  The best track on this disc is the song “Voodoo” from Yngwie’s album Magnum Opus.  Mike Vescera was the singer, and I always liked his era in Malmsteen.  It’s a heavy original tune with buckets of drama.

The balance of the bonus CD is a mixture of early Yngwie rarities and interviews…mixed together.  Meaning you don’t get actual full songs.  You get bits of songs and then Yngwie talking about the album and the music that inspired him, including Paganini.  I really hate when songs are chopped up like this.  The interview is not riveting but is good.  Childhood musical memories, early bands, and influences are notable topics.  Yngwie’s preoccupation with his own playing is fascinating.  He calls it an “obsession” and it’s clear from his work that he plays only to please himself.  And that’s just dandy.

Inspiration as a whole is overplayed, sonically sterile, and comes across as completely uninspired.  When Yngwie overplays on his own originals, that’s OK.  That’s the way the songs were written.  When you go nuts soloing all over “Sails of Charon” (Scorpions), all the listener really wants is to hear the sultry, original tones of Uli Jon Roth.  Inspiration is still a chore to finish, and it’s now going back on the shelf for a very long time.

1/5 stars